Original subtitles

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Excuse me! Are you Alicia Ricosi?

An autograph, please?

Thank you. Goodbye.

I don't have my licence on me.

No ID so take her in.

The bust-up Unfashionable, her lover says!

Alan...

Still at home? Seen the mags? He dumped Alicia!

She's shattered.

No more collection. We'll be blown to bits.

Tick-tock... Hear the countdown?

I'm onto it.

That cover's a bomb we have to defuse fast.

Alicia is tense, so I'm tense too.

- Let's untense. - We'll untense.

Yes, tick-tock. I'm onto it.

May I have a word?

What?

My partner tells me he's feeling a bit irate.

Apparently, so he says,

you sent him packing rather curtly.

- Is it a problem? - Not for me.

But Julien is rough and ready.

So if you could put yourself... - if you don't mind -

...on his level.

We'll do that.

He grunts, I grunt. We'll speak the same language.

Goodbye. Thank you. Careful!

- Excuse him. - Have a good day.

What a drag!

Yes, Alan.

Yes, tick-tock. I'm onto it.

You spoke to her?

I put her in her place. I was pretty violent verbally.

For me, in any case.

You chickened out.

If you can't tell chickening out from diplomacy...

Fake, you mean?

Ok, I get it. My mum was right.

Spare me your mum.

What about my mum? My mum's just great, ok!

My mum's wonderful. I love her!

I'm at Alicia's studio.

Tick-tock. If I go, you go.

Yes, I realize that. I'll talk to you later.

There's no one here?

I sent them all away.

I've been sunk.

I'm in mourning for my audacity.

They withdrew my licence.

I only ran a red light.

I hate red!

Alicia, the whole firm shares your suffering.

How can I get over this love affair?

It lasted two months, right?

I'm talking feelings, not figures.

Have you ever been in love? Really in love?

Without people laughing?

It's boring.

Go on, tell me.

I love other people's misfortunes.

It's not interesting.

It is. Go on.

It was...

6 years ago.

I met him at a dinner party.

A girls' dinner originally.

We were having a drink...

You're right, it's not interesting.

I feel so empty.

It's a black hole. I've no inspiration.

No inspiration? But...

But this... This cut...

Your skill at glorifying women...

You're a genius.

You're slashing the new collection?

Yes, I'm slashing it!

My work and life are in tatters!

I'm giving up.

Inform the press.

Buy me an island.

A desert island, with feral cats.

I love feral cats.

Alicia, please. Don't make any hasty decisions.

Why not?

Give yourself time to think it over.

I give in to my impulses.

But in three days,

it's the Borneo quake victims' benefit.

Yes, there was a little quake. And?

Your decision could overshadow the humanitarian work.

Why play for time? My mind's made up.

I worry about your image.

She's so sweet...

Three days then.

Three days...

Three days...

I have to find a solution.

Let's stay calm.

Totally calm.

Nothing better to do?

- Hello, Mrs Birk. - I know my name, thank you.

A yellow cardigan over a red dress?

I was in a rush.

Slow down and acquire taste.

Mrs Birk...

Jaeger-Lecoultre sent you this gift...

- She's always like that? - Mean, with it.

Good morning, Mrs Birk.

I saw Alicia, Alan. Everything's fine.

It's all settled.

I saw her, everything's fine.

Everything's fine.

Come in!

Careful.

I refuse to hear things are bad with Alicia.

Everything's fine.

Careful, Hélène.

Don't say that to avoid saying otherwise.

Everything's fine. She's completing her collection.

I can breathe again.

This morning, she was categorical. "I quit."

A man around inspires her.

- No man... - No inspiration.

You're saving us, Hélène.

Imagine the disaster if Alicia dumped us.

They're waiting for me upstairs.

The whole board. One mistake

and they'll be serving me as steak tartare.

Well...

- May I go? I have a meeting. - You may.

Thank you.

Thank you, Hélène.

I hate thanking people so gauge my gratitude.

I gauge it, sir. And thank you for thanking me.

Three days...

Hello, Mrs Birk.

How are you today?

Why do you all ask that?

Do I ask you?

No.

All right... Photos.

Jessica? The photos for Mrs Birk.

Of course!

The three models you picked for the Ricosi perfume.

We need your final decision.

The plants, Mrs Birk.

No, come back later.

I can't lug this around. Ivy is pretty but travels badly.

All right, hurry.

Thank you.

So... You were saying?

For the choice of model...

I know, no need to repeat yourself.

Your floorboards squeak.

We used this Swedish model three years ago for the Ricosi scarf.

Watch the pastries.

If I were you...

Our studies show a certain empathy

in the 40-45 age group...

What are you doing, Mr Lefort?

- Positioning. - Positioning?

I can't put them just anywhere.

They're delicate.

He's positioning.

This one is very good

but she's been used a lot for Armani by-products.

I'm too noisy?

That's the idea, yes.

Nearly done.

There.

Have a good day.

Mr Lefort. Come here a second.

Closer.

Pick the two you prefer, please.

Why?

You're potentially the ideal customer who'd buy perfume for his wife.

I'm potentially not married.

- Engaged? - Not potentially either.

I have a daughter.

Ok, let's use that. Perfume for your little girl.

Karine prefers sea spray and trade winds.

She's 18 and loves sailing since she was tiny.

Mr Lefort, make your choice.

This one and this one.

That one's good too but she's not as...

I don't want to offend anyone.

We won't tell her.

She's less... than this one.

- She's more... - Ok, thank you.

She's kind of...

I think we all understand.

That one's more, she's less...

She's less...

Thank you. Have a good day.

- Good luck. - Thank you.

All right...

We'll use this one, of course.

And these two...

Louise!

- Yes, Mrs Birk. - Arrange a male casting session.

Not a word to Mr Bergam. You get my drift?

Of course, Mrs Birk.

I need a man for a rather unusual mission.

He'll need to be company for a chic lady.

A chic lady?

A chic lady.

He'll be at her side for five weeks.

At her side in what way?

- Just to be there. - Be there?

You've never been there before?

I don't think this will work.

So, to put it delicately, you can go.

I'm sorry?

Go. Now.

Get lost! Excuse the familiarity.

Next.

Cute.

Thanks. Goodbye.

What do you do?

What do you do?

All right.

Thank you. Next!

Hello, Jean-Michel.

Goodbye, Jean-Michel.

You should fit the bill.

I'll try not to disappoint.

Good. That way I won't need to harm you.

Stand up.

Come here. Turn round.

Good. Let me see your hands.

They're soft. But a bit moist.

I'm nervous.

So de-moist them. She hates that.

Right, I think that covers it.

See you tomorrow evening.

- It's over? - Yes.

Over and done.

Goodbye.

Goodbye, Gilbert. Gilbert...

Mrs Birk!

I'm sorry!

Forgive me. I don't know what to say.

It'll soon dry off, don't worry.

I'm sick of it!

Mrs Birk, as I always say, every solution has its problem.

No, the opposite.

You and your partner, the weasel-faced guy,

I don't want you here again!

Our landscaping project... Mrs Birk!

Good riddance!

Alicia! I'm delighted to see you!

I've done the necessary.

Your ex-boyfriend won't model for Ricosi again.

How kind.

I'll make sure no other designer employs him.

I'll destroy him. I'll crush him.

I'll waste him. That's how I am.

You're all so kind.

Stella called me. Lacroix too. I had a text message from Karl.

"Thinking of you. Be strong.

Rest."

He even has a German accent in his text messages.

A whisky. Quick!

Thank you.

Hélène!

Alicia is a mess!

She's out of it.

She's going on about Lagerfeld and text messages...

She's fine. She's in great shape.

Really? I'm just paranoiding then.

Thank you. I trust you.

- I need to see a friend. - Go ahead.

Thank you.

What are you doing? Alicia's here.

I was just refuelling, Mrs Birk.

Your hands...

I'm a bit on edge.

So am I, Gilbert.

The whole of Ricosi is relying on you.

So let's get to it. Off you go.

Lovely little earthquake party, isn't it?

Hello, Caroline.

What's so interesting?

A man!

I love your scathing wit.

Sorry, I have things to do.

Please, go ahead. You must forgive me.

I'm hopeless.

I'm always disturbing the flunkies.

Goodbye, darling.

What?

Weasel Face is asking for you.

What is it?

- Your partner didn't tell you? - He did.

I know there was a problem but forgive him.

I don't have time. Just go.

The garden's not finished.

Who cares! Get lost!

Watch your tone, sister!

Sister?

- Pay us and we'll go. - Pay you?

Come on, two guys, two weeks, plus the gear. Cough up.

Did we sign a contract?

Jean-Guy said you did.

We didn't sign a thing. Your pal's no rocket scientist.

Ok, I get it. A bitch...

I can crush you anytime.

A five-star bitch too.

Security...

I just want to kill her!

Get your hands off me!

Everything ok?

Yes. Where's Alicia?

She left with a man. She looked very happy.

Really?

What kind of man?

Tall, bearded, slim, light brown hair, dark eyes?

Yes. Do you know him?

No, just guessing.

A sixth sense?

We could have a drink at my place...

It's not too late.

It's not late, it's too early.

We know all about ourselves

but we know nothing about each other.

Very pretty.

He's stupid...

Very interesting. A new angle.

I have many sides, you know. I'm a sort of mirrorball.

He's being witty now...

I like you, Alicia.

The whole world likes me, my boy.

Do better to seduce me.

- Sir... - Good evening.

I'm here with the baobab.

The baobab?

The team already left.

They were a baobab short.

So baobab or no baobab?

- Ok, go ahead. - Thanks.

Don't stay here.

The baobab goes through there?

Watch out...

Good evening.

An hour ago, we had 300,000. We're now up to 330,000.

The number of victims!

Even so, I'm glad to see you here at this benefit

because...

Can you hold this for me? Thanks.

Good evening. This won't take long. It's a message

for a lady I won't name but who'll recognize herself.

I pity you, madam.

You have no grace, no elegance.

And no manners. There.

Thank you.

I nearly forgot.

And no charm.

I think that covers it. Goodbye.

Sorry about that. So, 300,000 people.

We'll send money to the deceased...

I mean, those still living.

Forgive me, but I'm bored witless in your car.

What's this thingumajig called?

The handbrake.

Chic!

Jean-Guy, you never signed a contract...

Don't ever try to beat that.

Shit.

She told me herself, wiseguy.

Yeah, I looked like a jerk.

Diplomacy?

Your diplomacy's pissing me off.

Fuck!

You scared me! Why were you in the middle of the road?

You were too.

It's hip.

So I braked and we flew

into a hullabaloo of metal and rubber.

You're cold.

I'm shivering.

I'm not surprised. Look how you're dressed.

What is that get-up?

It's an Alicia Ricosi dress.

It's pretty.

But try breaking out a sweater in this season.

Would you be so kind as to break one out?

There's one right here. It's not new but it's warm.

Thank you.

I love this mess. I love this shambles.

I love your grotto.

There's a certain coherence behind all this clutter.

And sincerity too.

What do you create?

Horizons. I'm a landscaper.

A landscaper?

Excuse me.

Gilbert!

Where's Alicia?

I lost her.

Weren't you with Alicia?

How do you know this man, Hélène?

Would I be wise to worry?

Who are you, pal?

Gilbert.

Gilbert? What Gilbert?

State your identity!

You should never pluck your tomato plants.

Pluck them?

Remove leaves during growth. They feed the fruit.

Once they're grown, in insufficient sunlight,

removing the leaves helps the fruit to mature.

Like with radishes. You've already planted radishes?

Rarely.

Want a trick to make your radishes crunchy and not hot?

Yes, talk radishes to me.

Voicemail.

Alicia Ricosi, abandoned in the wild!

Brilliant idea you had!

- I'm sorry. - Sorry?

Why launch such schemes behind my back?

It could have worked...

Alicia Ricosi falls for the first man along?

Not yet, Zoé!

- He seemed fine... - Shut up!

Carry on and you'll be out of my car! And not just my car!

The door, Zoé, come on!

Close the door!

Get in, you!

Hopeless in heels!

Zoé, start driving right now!

Their pesticides screw everything up.

Even peas. Can you imagine that? Peas.

For God's sake...

It makes me want to blow a fuse. Not you?

My fuses are blowing!

Tell me about those poor peas.

If I get really mad, I'll talk about kale.

Yes, get mad about kale.

Forgive me. I talk too much, I know I do.

Once I'm off, I can't stop myself.

I'm wearing you out.

No, you're not wearing me out.

You're intoxicating me.

My number.

We'll see each other again?

Let me look at you.

You're wonderful.

But my nose... Don't you find it a bit...

Glorious.

It's divine.

Never-ending. Where will it stop?

See you soon.

The police?

So a snake like Caroline Langer can make us a laughing stock?

You're a real Einstein!

A light. She's here.

I don't feel well.

My stomach's knotted. I'm losing oil!

It'll be all right.

Come with me.

Give me your hand.

That bothers me.

Locked. Go in alone. I'll wait in the car.

It's all right, Alan.

Go on in.

- Good evening. - It's you.

I heard a rumour that some evil man had mistreated you.

It's wonderful.

Evil is wonderful?

Without the handbrake, we'd never have met.

Follow her!

Who do you mean?

I'm a wreck here. What's going on?

Is that in the collection?

It belongs to a proud, passionate man met on the cold asphalt.

He inspires and transcends me.

He makes me open jars of peas.

It's fascinating that a man should make you open this at 1 AM.

Hélène!

Imagine a dress

composed of peas

made of cotton,

on a gingham fabric.

I'm sure I'll see him again.

With him, I'll continue the collection.

Without him, I fade and die.

He'll be back, won't he, Hélène?

Won't he, Hélène?

- Yes. - In his van.

My Breton landscaper will rise up

with his big nose like...

A weasel?

We need the guy for five weeks

until she finishes the collection.

Odd, I feel I know him.

Yes, he's my gardener.

Of course! The guy with the baobab.

So the charmless woman was you?

Yes, we had words.

You mean you insulted the one guy who can save us?

In a global sense.

So find the words to get him back fast.

I'm not the right person for that.

Satisfy me. I love being satisfied.

But...

Bring him back or you're out.

That's odious.

Maybe, I'm useless at ethics.

Two days or kiss your wonderful job goodbye.

This job's my life!

It'll be someone else's life to compensate.

We aren't staying all night!

Plougassmash.

Excuse me!

Hello...

Which way is Plougassmash?

Never heard of it. Is it near here?

If it wasn't, I wouldn't be here.

Let me see.

Plougasmach! The "ch" isn't a "sh".

The "ch" is pronounced "ck". And you drop the "s".

Some dolts even pronounce the "z" in Douarnenez.

They make it sound like "Douarnenezzzz".

I don't understand a word. How do I get there?

How to get there... The easiest way is the bus.

Back by that post.

The bus?

Yes, there's no railway line.

No taxis?

A taxi's something else. Maybe...

No, it's all right. Thank you.

Plougasmach!

"Plougassmash"!

Hello.

Lefort Gardening?

That's Julien's place. It's five km away.

How do I get there?

For Martin's pruning?

He'll pay but he objects to coughing up for the lane.

He's not wrong. The town council should pay that.

I don't care. We have to get the money in.

After what we lost with that mad cow...

A job in Paris for once. A miracle...

Was it a miracle you forgot to sign the contract?

Who's to say she won't pay?

Forget it.

She'll turn up with an apology and a cheque?

- Shit... - Shit's the word.

No...

Shit.

Hello!

- Can I come in? - Yes.

Hello, Mrs Birk. What a surprise!

Was it easy to find?

Hard to believe it exists!

So what brings you?

Well...

About the contract...

Can you give us a minute?

I'd prefer to speak to Mr Lefort, please.

I need to explain our firm's organization chart.

We have the head and the legs.

I'm the business side.

Julien's the legs, his hands in the dirt.

Well, that's an image...

I understand but I'd still like to talk to Mr Lefort.

Very good. We're listening.

Mr Lefort...

I've come all this way to your...

My office.

Your office, exactly.

To apologize sincerely

for the unacceptable way I acted with you.

I also wish to pay you what I owe you.

You owe me nothing. No contract.

"I can crush you anytime", right?

I don't know what came over me. It was a bad day.

A bad fortnight.

I love your sense of humour!

It's relaxing.

Here you go.

It's all here. You can check.

Enough beating about the bush.

You didn't come all this way for an apology and a cheque.

I did.

Almost.

Almost?

I wish to talk to you about a minor detail.

A minor detail?

Shall I explain? You're going to laugh.

Think it over!

To act as a... What was it?

A muse.

A bit like Mona Lisa.

Mona Lisa?

So you're planning to hang me in the Louvre?

No, you...

You please Alicia. You inspire her. That's all.

So I just spend five weeks with her?

That's all. Paid 50,000 euros.

50,000?!

Expensive baby-sitting. The answer's no.

No one can refuse that much money.

- I can. - You can't.

You'd be so lucky every day

to witness the creative genius of a woman like Alicia.

I'd give anything to have a tenth of her talent.

It's better than pruning dandelions!

Pruning dandelions? Not only.

I'm just a hick who waters driveways

and cuts back shrubberies, remember!

I'll get fired thanks to you.

Yeah, let's do that.

You don't care if my career collapses.

No.

We vanish from each other's lives.

Good idea. It's that way.

- I won't call security. - Hick!

Useless hick!

Well?

She paid the whole bill.

- I'm not surprised. - He's not surprised!

Come on.

You forgot something?

You're going to laugh.

I got lost.

Transport's rare this late.

How about a taxi? It's only 5 PM.

More like 39.5.

In bed with a sore throat, the taxi.

A nasty case of tonsillitis.

How about a hotel?

Hard to find in winter.

Couldn't someone put me up?

Personally, I live with my mother.

You should ask Julien.

He has a guest room.

Mr Lefort? No.

That's not a good idea.

It is, he'd be delighted.

Julien has his soul on his heart, as they say.

Ask him. He's down the garden.

Down the garden over there?

Mr Lefort?

Here.

Above you.

What do you want?

Your partner said you'd be delighted to put me up.

Really?

For a fee, of course.

No.

- But... - No.

My daughter's boat.

Sailing is her passion.

I told you but I imagine you forgot.

No, not at all.

A 10-year investment. Beautiful, huh?

Is Birk your real name?

- Yes. Why? - No reason.

Tick-tock! I don't pay you to talk to your voicemail!

Did the farmer agree?

Alicia's tense, making me tense.

All over: muscles, brain, nipples!

Did he agree?

Let me help.

Everything ok?

My daughter, Karine. Karine... Hélène.

- Hélène? - Mrs Birk, like. Come on, let's go.

The bitch you mentioned?

She's staying with us tonight.

Yeah?

A bitch this morning, a squatter tonight. That's progress!

Here you go. 8 o'clock, don't forget.

Her birthday dinner tonight.

What about me?

You don't turn 18 every day. Right, my love?

I contributed to the present too!

Thank you!

Yes, Mrs Birk, nearly there!

Go on, try a little harder.

Yes, Alan.

I'm at Alicia's.

Why hasn't her gardener called?

We're an inch from meltdown.

Half an inch.

- Hélène? - Hold the line

What's that racket?

Alicia...

Don't streak, please.

I'm sinking, I'm a true Titanic.

You're a minor thing, Alan. Make yourself useful. Bring vases.

For flowers?

No, for the floors, ceilings and walls!

Let's not be afraid of optimism.

I know, deep down, that your cultivator...

Landscaper.

Your landscaper will come back.

My intuition's telling me.

Intuition is your name for your mercantile desires, Zebedee!

No, I gave you that one!

It isn't worth breaking.

Still there?

I'm listening.

We're on the edge of the void. I'm all concertinaed.

Did he agree? Tell me yes!

If not, you're fired.

Hélène?

Hélène? Can you hear me?

Did he say yes?

Yes, he said yes. He's delighted.

Good.

Everything's fine. I'll call you.

Let's get moving, girl.

Not that way, the other...

Dumb raft!

She's not that bad, you know.

She seems harsh but...

Take a closer look and she's sensitive.

Damn thing!

I'm going to die.

I'm going to die in Plougassmash!

I can tell.

The armour hides a big heart.

With hidden generosity just below the surface.

Preconceived ideas are dumb.

Everything ok?

Just trivial stuff.

You got attacked by seaweed?

- Is it low tide? - No. Why?

Karine's boat...

Only the mast's left.

Not much left.

Nothing at all in fact.

Shit!

Stay here...

I'm so sorry. Really I am.

Her life's dream.

The insurance will take ages.

My offer stills stands, you know.

50,000 euros.

At least do it for her sake.

Think it over. My train's in an hour.

56 minutes precisely.

My train.

So don't hesitate.

There's a two-minute stop so you have 58 minutes.

I get the message.

I'm just being precise.

I love precision.

There.

Right...

Well...

Nothing... Sorry.

Karine, we need to talk.

Here goes. You know... Thanks.

Leonardo Da Vinci invented the parachute.

And the wings on artillery shells.

He had his head on right.

Not to mention the submarine, the helicopter...

Far from dumb, old Leonardo.

He amazes me. Not you?

Sure.

And the Mona Lisa.

Take Mona Lisa away and the Louvre isn't much.

Right...

My darling, my baby...

I'm going back to Paris to play Mona Lisa.

To raise your boat.

You're in charge, Jean-Guy. I'll go and pack.

Did you understand?

Yes, I read between the words.

Come on...

Mrs Birk!

Ok, I'll do it.

But I want more.

More? You don't want 60,000?

Let's say that. 60,000.

Alan, it's Hélène.

He's changing his mind and wants 60,000.

What do I do? It's a lot.

Screw the money! Offer him 100,000!

Get out of the way!

There are millions at stake here!

You don't understand a thing, Hélène!

All right.

Yes. Yes, Alan.

Get lost!

They've gone...

All set.

You can thank me. It wasn't easy.

Your boss is a tough one?

Mr Lefort...

Exactly how I imagined. Elegant, urbane...

Alicia doesn't surprise me.

My contract?

We're working on it.

I don't work without a contract. Bad memories.

It's not ready? My secretary will see to it.

Go ahead. Call her.

Do Mr Lefort's contract.

It's ringing.

It's ringing away.

Hello, it's...

It's me.

She's asking who.

You, in theory.

Me, Julien, the nurseryman You remember?

Yes, the long nose...

No, I'm fine.

My tonsils were a bit swollen earlier...

Yes, my throat's fragile.

We were making hay two months back.

We were on the harvester and the wind picked up...

Keep the harvester brief, ok?

I'll tell you when I see you.

At your studio? Ok.

The address? Of course. Let me note it down.

Ok, see you later.

Let's set some ground rules here.

You'll be in Alicia Ricosi's world for five weeks.

You're her muse. Love is in the air.

I'll get the contract.

"Love is in the air"? What was that bit?

All he means is be friendly with Alicia.

- Macaroon? - No.

Friendly and love are the same for him?

I'm warning you. I'm a muse.

Just looking, no touching.

Don't worry, you're too common.

As scornful as ever.

Want to play that game?

The contracts...

If you please.

How about accommodation?

I can get friendly with Alicia but...

she may not ask me to move in.

Will the Plaza do?

Good beds?

Reputedly.

If I have time, I'll go and jump on a mattress.

Initial it.

No.

No. A hotel isn't logical.

If she asks why I'm back... You follow?

Yes...

I've come back for my job.

You follow?

Of course.

And my job is to finish the garden project I was on.

You still follow?

No.

Yes.

- No. - Yes.

Enough of this, he's right.

You house your gardener while he works.

My home is my private life.

A private life? What a crazy idea.

Come on. He'll be company for you.

We're going off the rails here.

Are you planning to annoy me?

Mr Lefort,

if you could initial it...

There!

No, there.

Where?

Your room.

Overlooking the road.

Is that a problem?

At home, I overlook the sea.

No time to install the ocean. Don't dawdle.

More scooped. I want it open, Maria.

Revise it all for tomorrow.

Very good, ma'am.

Mademoiselle... Walk and breathe, please.

Very good. Now answer me honestly.

Do your movements lack grace? Be honest.

I lack grace.

No, hopeless. Your answer is hopeless.

You're magnificent. You're graceful.

I'm the incapable one here.

Where's the vigour? The movement? Where's the life?

It's not chic enough.

Maria, could you...

Hush!

Hello.

Hush!

Everybody out. Off you go!

Hurry up. Out you go.

God exists.

Glad to hear it.

That hypothesis is a certainty for me now you're here.

As charming as ever.

Even without your rakes, wheelbarrow or radishes,

you're still stratospheric.

Hello, Alicia.

Mrs Birk.

- You've met? - Yes, I'm redoing her garden.

And Mrs Birk is kindly putting me up.

I've brought you the photos of the model for the perfume.

I know that photo.

I saw it in your office the other day.

I remember there were other choices.

Yes, but we chose this one.

Julien's intuition matters to me.

- Show him. - Yes, show me.

Sorry...

If I'd been asked my opinion, but I wasn't...

I'd have picked one of these two.

Use his choices.

Come, Julien.

Do you like it?

Yes.

Yes, it's...

Yes, it is.

Are you ready? Shall we begin?

Begin what?

You inspire me. You find that strange, don't you?

No. Not at all.

I hadn't noticed the garden.

You seem tense.

You can strip if you want. I have no preconceptions.

No, I'm fine as I am, thank you.

I understand.

Clothes are like the armour that protects you.

Yes, all right.

And that also betrays you.

Because your clothes don't say who you are.

They shout it.

Yes, all right.

Move.

Move? You mean...

However you like.

There's no barrier, Julien.

There's you and...

this space.

That's good.

Magnificent.

I love it.

Julien!

You're not comfortable.

I am. I'm just getting my bearings.

I'm warming up.

A few laps and I'll be into it.

Yes, be into it.

Sit down. Take a magazine.

Eat some grapes.

Do you like grapes?

Yes, grapes are good.

- Can I read and eat grapes? - Anything you want.

Everything that you are suits me.

Excuse me.

May I?

Yes.

Yes, we're working.

What do you mean, working how? Being a muse.

- He's eating grapes at Alicia's. - Good.

I'm reading magazines and caressing the bookshelf.

And my hair too.

He's reading magazines and caressing the shelf and his hair.

Very good. Excellent.

She suggested that I strip.

- Sorry? - What is it?

She asked him to strip.

Perfect! Let me speak to him.

Hello? Alain Bergam speaking.

Keep us posted, ok.

Have a good evening.

This is looking good.

- What will she do with him? - At that price, anything.

I'm totally fired up.

Challenge...

What stopped you from calling?

My job. Muse.

There's no break. I need a union.

Your feet!

Obsessive, huh?

I like things neat.

Yes, the place is tidy.

It's like being in a museum.

Is it inhabited? I didn't see a man around.

My private life interests you?

There was a man.

And he split of course.

Of course?

You're not that easy-going

so you make them run, of course.

What's your thing? A woman in the kitchen?

Not really.

I can kind of imagine it...

You pestered him to have a kid,

he got sick of it and left.

You imagine it wrong.

He wanted a kid, I preferred my career.

Your career often crops up.

I fought to get here, you know.

I didn't start at the top. I climbed every rung.

And learned to defend myself.

Your feet!

I was a bit harsh.

For the good of our cohabitation,

I'd like things to be less harsh.

Please forgive me.

Yeah, you're right.

Forgive me too, for that thing with the models.

- How about a quick one? - Sorry?

A kiss. To say good night.

Good night.

Free this space, I need to breathe.

Alicia, what's going on?

We'll be inseparable.

Inseparable?

I had an illumination.

Julien is a brilliant landscaper. That's why he inspires me.

The more he uses his own material,

the better I'll work with mine.

He's doing your garden.

If your garden can't come to me, I'll come to it.

Don't thank me.

Perfect.

Your most beautiful things

are hideously ugly!

It's unbearable. I love it!

Eric, redo the decoration.

Follow me!

Go on!

It's wonderful!

Wonderful, Hélène!

Alicia's staying here with Julien.

In return, Ricosi will move you to the Plaza, with a good bed.

You're the boss. Tell her she can't stay here.

No way. My career's founded on gutlessness and cowardice.

You don't change a winning formula.

- How many bedrooms? - Two.

One for Alicia, one for Julien, our stuff in the office.

- And me? - Not on the list.

You're not on the list, ok! Don't start!

I'm just the boss.

- Alan! - Alicia!

Can't you see you're in the way? Get lost!

Seen Hélène? Mrs Birk.

In the bedroom.

There's no signal here!

It's the country, darling.

Are you ok?

I'm great.

Never been better.

Bergam wants to move me to the Plaza.

I don't want to. I want to stay in my home.

But when Alicia presents her collection, you'll be happy.

Happy?

Hélène...

I want a party.

Alicia, there's a problem.

Hélène's lost her room. So I'll give her mine.

Out of the question.

- But, me, I... - No buts.

No me, no I.

Just us two.

I want a crowd!

Music! Champagne!

I'm so happy!

Alicia...

Alicia hates your bed. We'll put it in storage.

Just burn it!

Guys, take this piece of shit apart and burn it.

What are you doing?

Hélène, stop. What are you doing? This is absurd.

They can invade but I won't leave my home.

I have some dignity.

- That's provocation. - No, a political act.

So you're Che Guevara now?

- You can't live in there. - Why not?

The sauna's fine.

And it's heated.

Have a good day.

There.

Throw a party...

No way. Enough is enough.

Enough is enough.

Hélène, have some fun!

Champagne!

He's the hick?

Very rustic, isn't he?

Rough maybe, but I say rustic.

It's more country house and less pigsty.

He's your gardener?

Only that?

You should've tried him out.

A secretary does the groundwork for her boss.

Back in your day.

Yes, Caroline, time passes.

All that Botox for nothing!

Hélène!

Wonderful party. Alicia will do a great collection.

Don't worry about the house.

We'll pay to make it as ugly as it was before!

The crows!

The crows!

I'm on my way.

So tired...

Ham hock?

No thanks.

Please walk. Just walk, ok.

Let yourself go.

Again?

Advance towards the light.

You're a satyr walking in the woods.

Birds, elves, imagine it all.

Imagine it.

There, that's good.

A bird!

Advance quickly.

Knitwear!

Get rid of the fur.

Doctor, it's Hélène.

I'd like that appointment after all.

I'm not in tip-top shape.

Enjoy the meal. Dig in.

Ham hock and lentils for energy.

Pancakes for dessert.

That's pretty.

My haute couture.

The comparison ends there.

You'd never get this on a catwalk.

It's beautiful.

Not bad for a shrubbery pruner.

Are you coming?

The perfume?

Right...

I'm glad you like it.

She's alone in her room.

A very white setting, very pure. Get the idea?

Night, she rolls on the bed, spraying herself with perfume.

No, she's sitting.

Same difference.

And that's when a tiger enters the room!

We've opted for a panther. A black panther.

Panther, tiger, lion, leopard...

Mrs Birk.

Mr Lefort's piloting.

Those are Alicia's instructions.

Who do you sell it to?

- Everyone. - Everyone?

Look at this woman.

What?

Me as an example?

You said everyone. That includes you.

Forget she can fire you.

Try to ignore the mean dragon and focus

on the charming girl,

with her fragility, her doubts and her fears.

You see her?

You're picking up her regrets,

her buried wounds?

Will a panther make her buy it?

Try to imagine just this woman and the perfume.

No big cats, no tough guys in singlets, no opera and so on.

Just her and the perfume.

Alone, simple...

There you go.

Thank you. You can leave now.

I take the board?

No, forget it.

You didn't mind being my example?

No, not at all.

You've watered the plants?

No.

Sorry.

I've been too busy with you.

I'll do it then.

Thank you.

Have a good day, girls.

You weren't at the gala?

I was. But you weren't.

I preferred an evening in my kitchen.

- Glass of wine? - Yes.

You'll get your place back.

Alicia's collection's nearly done, I've finished the garden...

I'll get back to my daughter.

And her mother? I didn't meet her.

No, she left long ago.

I'm worried about Karine.

- Why? - Because of the boat.

Thinking it over, maybe she screwed up.

The wine's good.

She must have left a valve open.

She knows I know so she feels guilty.

Yes, you must be right.

But it's ok.

I'll tell her... Something's burning.

Shit!

Oh, bloody hell...

Mix the milk, eggs and flour well.

If you don't, the batter has lumps in it.

And lumps are cholera for pancakes.

Bretons are neurotic about pancakes.

Spare me the clichés.

All right, enjoy.

You like it?

Cooking isn't your thing.

It was my mother's speciality.

Congratulate her.

At the cemetery.

Your father?

Dead. Dying's a family tradition.

In my family too.

Not a Breton speciality then.

Pancakes...

I love pancakes.

Julien...

David Bowie mentioned you.

He wants to see you again for some botanical advice.

That's the English. They're so into...

lawns.

I'll leave you. Good night.

My pancake...

It can't be that difficult.

I'll be going too. I'm tired.

Good night, Alicia.

Good night, Julien.

Sweet dreams.

I'm making a real mess....

See you tonight.

May I come in?

Can I have a word?

Actually, I wanted to thank you.

I've done a good deed?

Thanks to you, I met Alicia.

I see now that she's a genius.

Yes. Brilliant, isn't she?

She's really wonderful.

I get the message.

She's brilliant, she's funny, she's...

I don't need the whole list.

You should be pleased.

I'm glad if I've done my job well.

But she has her flaws.

That become qualities.

Everyone loves Alicia!

Alicia here, Alicia there. No one else matters.

The world doesn't exist.

Wars, epidemics, extremism... None of it.

Others don't exist for her. But they exist.

I exist, right?

Yes.

Are you ok, Hélène?

I have to dress.

I can't do it anymore.

You realize? I can't.

I've known him a month.

I can't get rid of him. I'm obliged to put him up.

I can't go on. He obsesses me.

I think of him when I go to sleep, when I wake. It's absurd.

I'm like a woman in love.

Look...

I don't come here to hear sentimental waffle.

"Like a woman in love." God knows where you got that.

I'm disappointed.

I expected something more insightful from you.

Here. I'll say goodbye now.

Goodbye ok, not "till we meet again".

Come in.

All right. Sit down, Hélène.

I didn't see you.

Me neither.

Feeling better? Had a lie-down?

Yes, I certainly did lie down.

- Julien... - Yes?

You agree we united our energies to optimize Alicia's collection?

You can say that.

Thinking about it,

it seems a bit awkward if Alicia leads you

somewhere outside the strict bounds...

Of work?

Don't worry.

I'm just a gadget for her. A luxury one, but a gadget.

Come on...

I can see what she's up to.

Making eyes at you...

Right?

No.

You're laughing. It suits you. It's rare.

How do you know?

I've been watching you for a month.

When you're tense, you scratch your ear.

Squinting like a hedgehog.

A hedgehog?

A hedgehog who's a beautiful woman.

They never said?

They forgot.

They're dumb.

I have to tell you

a guy with no dress sense is about to kiss you.

He does his hair with a rake too.

Yes, but he makes good pancakes.

But isn't great at interior design.

My place isn't pretty?

If you don't linger. Not to mention the boat.

You never went on it.

No.

But all cabins are alike.

That tacky fake leather...

Usually they're in wood.

Was it you?

Was it you who...

Hold on, let me explain.

- Please. - Stand aside.

Stand aside.

Listen to me!

Please don't go!

No scruples...

Watch out!

A month you've been squatting my life!

You piss me off, all of you!

Bravo, Hélène, a grand slam of screw-ups.

I'm crucified.

Caroline Langer has nailed me down.

We'll de-nail you.

Thanks to you, Hélène, the Langer bitch wrote an atrocious review.

"In her new collection, Alicia Ricosi aims to surprise again.

One thing is sure: this designer

has the privilege of surprising her little self.

As for us mere mortals, we'll have the consolation

of yawning before Paris's most out-dated catwalk."

She went under the knife. So? Want to see my butt?

I was annoyed. It happens.

Apologize. Make that snake keep her venom.

I may not want to.

Don't be childish. I'm not asking for the moon.

Just crawl a little.

A problem?

Julien has left.

- He's abandoning me. - What a day.

Why is he abandoning me?

Why is he doing that? Go and get him back!

No.

No, I won't go.

I need to tell you, Alicia, everyone lies to you.

Are you totally out of your mind?

Shut up!

Talk to me.

Julien didn't come back for you. He was paid.

He came for the money.

To pay for a boat. A boat that I sank, in fact.

The great Alicia Ricosi would never have guessed.

I could slap you, Hélène, but I don't even feel like it.

You don't mind?

You're fired. Fired like never before.

I'll make you the Joan of Arc of haute couture!

Alicia...

Sorry. That wasn't my plan.

Alan, you're a shit.

Yes.

But this humiliation is like an illumination.

An illumination's good.

I'm going to surprise them.

We're going to take things even further.

Summon the press.

I want the world to know that we're embarking on a new era.

A new era, you'll transcend the world. I'm onto it!

Pay Julien what you owe him.

He backed out.

As a shit, try to be an elegant shit.

I'll be any shit you want.

I love this job!

Shut the hell up!

Who did that?

State your identity!

Hello, Hélène. May I come in?

Please do.

I wanted to thank you.

Julien called me

to wish me luck.

Charming, isn't he?

You know...

by abandoning me,

he allowed me to confront

my doubts and fears.

I don't need him anymore.

But you, Hélène...

I don't need him either.

Come on, you're in love.

I knew before you did.

You can't miss out on the best life brings.

You're here to save me. That's not like you.

What am I like?

Self-centred.

Tyrannical.

Temperamental.

Manipulative.

You forgot intolerant.

Let's hope it lasts.

Haute couture would lose a lot.

And I'd be inconsolable.

How about you?

Define yourself.

Self-centred.

Tyrannical.

Manipulative.

Temperamental.

We're alike.

With one difference.

You,

you're not an artist.

But when you're not a slave to a talent,

you can rid yourself of that troubled behaviour.

For me, it's vital.

For you, it's superfluous.

Bye, Hélène. Give Julien my love.

There's no more Julien.

She thinks she can resist!

She's so sweet...

It's even more beautiful.

Can I come on board?

Please forgive me.

If you hurry, you can get the 3 o'clock train.

3:03 to be precise.

Hello, Mrs Birk.

What did you say now?

You're pissing me off too!

Ladies, please listen.

Out of the way, you fools!

This is D-Day. No mistakes.

But we're allowed to be faultless.

Be magnificent. Lift yourselves up!

Be as lofty as Ricosi and myself.

And no tiny digs, please!

Who said "tiny"? You?

- State your identity. - Sheila.

Watch it, you're on the list, Sheila.

Heels don't make you lofty.

The crows...

Better. Real crows. Those are sparrows.

Crows, that's it.

Get lost. No photos here.

I must apologize for my article.

You know I bought out the publisher of that rag.

So I was told.

You're worried I'll use my power to harm certain journalists?

I know you'd never be so base.

You're right, Caroline.

Do your interview. Use your freedom of speech.

Don't worry, I'll do that. Which way?

Straight on after the trash.

Don't loiter, the refuse collectors make mistakes...

What's that beehive? We want something stricter.

A building. We want New York, not that.

Give us Manhattan, Tribeca...

That's a French country hovel.

- Calmed down? - Not now.

- The time's never right. - Drop it.

I know a man in love when I see one.

Mum? Guess what.

- Yes? - Forget everything.

You're rehired. Be in my office at 8:30 sharp tomorrow.

Moron!

Listen.

We're going global. New York, Miami,

L.A., get it?

It'll be amazing, Hélène, amazing.

I'll explain. Don't interrupt.

A success, true, but the word triumph

is more suited to this designer

who has shattered all the conventions.

Is New York far?

Straight ahead.

Subtitles by Ian Burley, a.s.i.f.

Subtitling: L.V.T. - Paris