Original subtitles

Hm.

Nasty stuff.

The Belmont.

I was hoping for a proper win.

Don't you mean a proper fight?

No.

Because I'm going to win.

Where is it? Where's the fucking thing?

Looking for a big mirror. There's writing on the frame.

Things disappear through it.

No?

Bloody useless.

Now, how am I supposed to orchestrate

the return of Dracula himself

if you won't help me find the fucking mirror?

Didn't I leave some archers around here somewhere?

At the vampires.

I believe we have their attention.

I think we pissed them off.

Time to go indoors?

Oh, I very much think so.

Inside. Fall back.

Inside.

It may be a good idea

to drag as many heavy things over to this door as we can.

And I want someone with a sword

next to every archer at the windows.

And keep three steps back.

I assume those fuckers can climb.

I should have thought of that.

Lucky you have me here to run your life for you now.

What's that?

I'm not sure.

Come on.

Why here?

What's here?

My childhood room.

Just stay back.

It will be quicker and easier for everyone.

What in hell are you doing?

I am opening a door into the Infinite Corridor.

I think his mind has gone.

The Infinite Corridor is a fairy tale.

It most certainly is not.

Young lady, the Infinite Corridor

is a passage to other worlds.

It is, however, very hard to control.

I am truly sorry that the souls of your people

are being sacrificed to the cause,

but they would have died of rickets or angry badgers

soon enough anyway.

This is death magic.

You're using the energies of death to...

To open the corridor and direct a portal to hell.

And I need this spot here,

where I presume you killed your father,

to anchor the connection.

My father?

I'm bringing him back from hell.

And your mother.

You're welcome to stay and watch.

You can wave if you like.

I am going to fucking murder you!

No, I don't think so.

You see, in Lindenfeld I saw

that a many-souled creature of magic

can control the corridor.

I, Saint Germain,

am going to pull Dracula and Lisa Tepes out of hell,

fuse their souls together

and lock them inside the body of a Rebis.

Who's Rebis?

It's a word for a hermaphrodite creature.

A body that is both man and woman.

The pinnacle of alchemy.

An ultimate entity.

Drop this shield and I will let you live.

I can't control the corridor while I'm in there.

I'm not strong enough.

But a many-souled creature...

a fusion of vampire and human, even,

that would be a mechanism to exert control

over the corridor.

Vampire and human who were already closely bonded.

It was obvious, really.

Why, man? What possible reason?

Two reasons.

The woman I love is lost somewhere

in the Infinite Corridor.

And I am an alchemist.

I seek the perfection of knowledge,

the achievement of the great work,

the magnum opus,

which can be reached by the creation of the Rebis,

the divine hermaphrodite,

the fusion of male and female into an alchemical creature

of perfect power and knowledge.

And I can fucking ride it, Alucard.

I create it. I bind it.

I own it.

I will find my love.

I will command the Infinite Corridor.

I will have complete access to a million different worlds.

Like God.

We can't stay here. The fight is downstairs.

I once observed to Sypha Belnades

that God had quite gone out of fashion.

God is now standing right in front of you.

And soon, very, very, soon...

he's going to have sex again.

Good trick, but you threw away your sword.

I'd better go and get it.

Protect the people.

Don't wait for them to get hurt. I know you know how to do this.

Ah!

I thought you might at least be sporty, you know.

I'm tired.

And you shouldn't play with your food.

Look at that.

It's like watching your little life being chipped away

down to the bone, isn't it?

More than a year I've been here,

pretending to be the useful flunky.

Pretending not to be who I am.

Do you know what that's like?

Hiding my skills. Hiding my mind.

Pretending not to be the best vampire war fighter

of the last 300 years, in case it upset somebody.

And now Varney can fuck off

to give Dracula hand jobs for the rest of time

and I can get on with what I'm good at.

Killing you.

Did you fucking touch me?

Did you dare fucking touch me?

You are not the apocalypse.

You are just a man.

And my people will survive you.

I am fucking immortal.

Nobody is immortal.

Fuck your eyes!

Finish it for me.

Where is it?

I'm talking to you, you dusty shits.

Well, you clever bastards.

Are you all right?

Probably not. You?

Nothing a year in bed wouldn't cure.

Hm. Oh, God.

What now?

Varney of London.

Your conspirator and benefactor.

I have come to personally supervise this...

this...

- "This"? - Well, I was...

Actually, I was looking for a really big word.

You seem clever,

and it's important that you know that I'm clever too.

Sir, I am certain your wit is as suave

as your unique personal stench.

Suave? Oh, suave.

Well, that's a short word, isn't it?

I mean, I appreciate that.

How about "epochal event"?

- Huh? - Well, suit yourself.

I recognize that.

The point of view is moving.

Why's that?

The mirror's location lock is drifting.

If we're going to go, we're going to have to go now.

Ready?

Hell, no.

But when's that ever stopped us?