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Subs created by: David Coleman.
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[Window rolling down]
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- Yo, pooh bear.
- We watching you, sucker.
4
00:00:14,175 --> 00:00:16,576
- Man, we run this bitch.
- Yeah.
5
00:00:16,577 --> 00:00:20,147
And when you work with your best
friend, it's not even like work.
6
00:00:20,148 --> 00:00:23,383
I feel the same way, bro.
When working is hard work, I stop working.
7
00:00:23,384 --> 00:00:24,524
You know what we should do?
8
00:00:24,525 --> 00:00:27,821
Come up with a catchphrase, so we can say
it when we do something cool like that.
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00:00:27,822 --> 00:00:30,991
It should be, like, a
combination of our names or...
10
00:00:30,992 --> 00:00:33,026
- Ste-Zel.
- That's it.
11
00:00:33,027 --> 00:00:34,494
How did you just come up with that?
12
00:00:34,495 --> 00:00:36,863
- I'm black.
- Man, you are cool.
13
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Help! Help!
14
00:00:39,533 --> 00:00:41,902
No, no, no, no! Please, no!
15
00:00:41,903 --> 00:00:43,036
Ow, ow, no!
16
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Oh, my God!
17
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[Gunshot]
18
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Get out of here! Go on! What happened here?
19
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I was just minding my business when
this moose sexually assaulted me.
20
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I'm gonna report this to the
National Park service, congress.
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- I'll sue your... - [Makes moose call]
22
00:00:57,623 --> 00:00:59,920
What are you doing?
No, no, no, no. Not again, no.
23
00:00:59,921 --> 00:01:02,485
Now we're gonna ask you one more time.
What happened here?
24
00:01:02,486 --> 00:01:04,798
Nothing. Nothing happened. Nothing at all.
25
00:01:04,799 --> 00:01:05,826
And whose fault was it?
26
00:01:05,827 --> 00:01:07,476
It was mine. All my fault.
27
00:01:07,477 --> 00:01:09,192
You were asking for it, weren't you?
28
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Walking around dressed like a whore.
29
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- Ain't that right?
- Whatever you say.
30
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I should have never worn this outfit.
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Good answer.
32
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Both: Ste-Zel.
33
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[Adventurous music]
34
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[Screams]
35
00:01:21,342 --> 00:01:23,862
Brickleberry...
36
00:01:26,580 --> 00:01:29,040
[Alarm wails]
37
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[Door opens]
38
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What's the emergency?
39
00:01:34,179 --> 00:01:36,089
Woody hasn't used the siren in years.
40
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It's got to be something major.
41
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It better be. I was having a good dream.
42
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[Relaxing music]
43
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Oh, yeah.
44
00:01:46,567 --> 00:01:48,435
Oh, my God. I had the same dream.
45
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[Relaxing music]
46
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Oh, yeah.
47
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Both: Ste-Zel.
48
00:01:55,143 --> 00:01:57,851
Condition red armageddon shitstorm, people.
49
00:01:57,852 --> 00:02:01,222
The Secretary of the Interior is coming
for a surprise inspection today!
50
00:02:01,223 --> 00:02:04,139
Actually, it's not a surprise.
I put it on his calendar six months ago.
51
00:02:04,140 --> 00:02:06,927
Did you write "check calendar"
on the goddamn calendar?
52
00:02:06,928 --> 00:02:08,896
- Yes.
- Oh, you did, huh?
53
00:02:08,897 --> 00:02:12,121
Okay, we only got a few hours to
get this crap hole into shape
54
00:02:12,122 --> 00:02:15,225
before Sanders gets here.
Ladies, sweep the Park for dead animals.
55
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Sanders? You don't mean
Kirk Sanders, do you?
56
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Yeah, yeah. Kirk Sanders.
57
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Ah!
58
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[Opens door]
59
00:02:22,634 --> 00:02:24,912
Now that's a go-get-'em attitude.
60
00:02:24,913 --> 00:02:26,972
Steve, I want you to start a forest fire.
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00:02:26,973 --> 00:02:28,515
I'll do it without question, Sir.
62
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Quick question. Why am I doing this?
63
00:02:30,229 --> 00:02:33,750
Because, stupid, when I put
the fire out, I'll be a hero.
64
00:02:33,751 --> 00:02:35,023
I'll get a promotion.
65
00:02:35,024 --> 00:02:36,990
Or at least get some of
those war crimes expunged.
66
00:02:36,991 --> 00:02:40,231
[Grunting] [Men groaning]
67
00:02:42,831 --> 00:02:45,680
- Yo, Woody, what's my job?
- Since when do you want a job?
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00:02:45,681 --> 00:02:47,540
If this place shuts down, I don't get paid.
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00:02:47,541 --> 00:02:49,319
I didn't want to tax you, Denzel.
70
00:02:49,320 --> 00:02:51,047
Just smile and try to be articulate.
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00:02:51,048 --> 00:02:53,899
- What do you mean "articulate"?
- I'm sorry. Way over your head.
72
00:02:53,900 --> 00:02:55,500
It means well-spoken.
73
00:02:55,501 --> 00:02:57,602
I know what it means, you ignorant bastard.
74
00:02:57,603 --> 00:03:00,605
I want something important to do.
I'll be in charge of starting that fire.
75
00:03:00,606 --> 00:03:03,909
Okay, okay.
I'm sure you can do the job, Denzel.
76
00:03:03,910 --> 00:03:06,531
- Sorry if I was racially insensitive.
- Thank you.
77
00:03:06,532 --> 00:03:08,715
Of course you're qualified to start fires.
78
00:03:08,716 --> 00:03:11,083
How else would he celebrate
an NBA championship?
79
00:03:11,084 --> 00:03:13,604
Ah! Wood-Loy!
80
00:03:20,726 --> 00:03:21,927
Man, screw those guys.
81
00:03:21,928 --> 00:03:24,596
I don't burn things because
my teams win championships.
82
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I do it for the insurance money.
83
00:03:26,366 --> 00:03:29,028
Oh, my God. A real black man.
84
00:03:29,029 --> 00:03:30,036
[Gasps]
85
00:03:30,037 --> 00:03:31,669
I hope it's not too much to ask,
86
00:03:31,670 --> 00:03:35,374
but I'd consider it an honor if you'd
bitch slap me as hard as you can.
87
00:03:35,375 --> 00:03:36,975
What? Get yo ass out of here.
88
00:03:36,976 --> 00:03:38,410
Denzel, that's rude.
89
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[Slaps] [Groans]
90
00:03:39,884 --> 00:03:42,016
"Bitch slap. " That's offensive.
91
00:03:42,017 --> 00:03:43,282
I should slap that bitch.
92
00:03:43,283 --> 00:03:46,718
Steve, you have no idea what's it like to
be the only black person for miles around.
93
00:03:46,719 --> 00:03:49,054
Everyone staring at me,
like I'm a criminal!
94
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[People murmuring]
95
00:03:52,658 --> 00:03:54,927
What? I don't see what you're so mad at.
96
00:03:54,928 --> 00:03:56,594
So people enjoy looking at you.
97
00:03:56,595 --> 00:03:58,363
You're, like, a...
98
00:03:58,364 --> 00:04:01,733
- Like a monkey in the zoo?
- Exactly, you're like a monkey in the zoo.
99
00:04:01,734 --> 00:04:03,101
Perfect analogy.
100
00:04:03,102 --> 00:04:05,203
Do you know how racist that is?
101
00:04:05,204 --> 00:04:08,573
Racist? Come on.
We both know there's no racism anymore.
102
00:04:08,574 --> 00:04:11,643
It ended the day Martin Luther
King landed on the moon.
103
00:04:11,644 --> 00:04:13,478
Man, you don't know what
you're talking about.
104
00:04:13,479 --> 00:04:15,747
I would love to be black
in today's society.
105
00:04:15,748 --> 00:04:19,117
You set all the trends, and
you get to say the "N" word.
106
00:04:19,118 --> 00:04:22,120
You have no idea how many times
I've wanted to say the "N" word.
107
00:04:22,121 --> 00:04:24,756
You know what, Steve?
I need some time away from your dumb ass.
108
00:04:24,757 --> 00:04:27,892
- Wait. You're not mad at me, are you?
- Oh, no. I'm not mad.
109
00:04:27,893 --> 00:04:29,494
[Engine revs]
110
00:04:29,495 --> 00:04:31,759
Okay, now you're sending mixed signals.
111
00:04:31,760 --> 00:04:33,740
[Slap]
112
00:04:34,343 --> 00:04:37,728
Uh, have you noticed this Park has
more dead animals than live animals?
113
00:04:37,729 --> 00:04:40,723
It might have something
to do with this... tree.
114
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[Electricity hums]
115
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[Electricity zapping]
116
00:04:46,187 --> 00:04:49,008
Woody let them install it so he
could get free text messaging.
117
00:04:49,009 --> 00:04:50,978
Good-bye, endangered friend.
118
00:04:50,979 --> 00:04:52,717
[Vacuum hums]
119
00:04:52,718 --> 00:04:55,907
So, Connie, have you been taking your meds?
120
00:04:55,908 --> 00:04:58,746
Because I noticed you went a little
more bat-shit crazy than usual
121
00:04:58,747 --> 00:05:01,650
when Woody mentioned
the name Kirk Sanders.
122
00:05:01,651 --> 00:05:04,629
Kirk Sanders! Ah! [Thud]
123
00:05:04,630 --> 00:05:06,397
Mm, mm-hmm. Like that.
124
00:05:06,398 --> 00:05:08,433
There's something about me you don't know.
125
00:05:08,434 --> 00:05:12,070
Before I came to Brickleberry, I
was trained to be a Navy Seal.
126
00:05:12,071 --> 00:05:15,071
Sanders was my C.O.
127
00:05:15,804 --> 00:05:18,344
I was actually really good at it.
128
00:05:18,345 --> 00:05:20,612
But Sanders discovered my weakness.
129
00:05:20,613 --> 00:05:22,147
And he used it against me.
130
00:05:22,148 --> 00:05:24,316
Holy Jesus.
131
00:05:24,317 --> 00:05:26,885
What is that? What the (Bleep) Is that?
132
00:05:26,886 --> 00:05:29,521
Sir, a four-course
Thanksgiving dinner, Sir.
133
00:05:29,522 --> 00:05:33,458
Why did you hide an entire Thanksgiving
dinner in your footlocker?
134
00:05:33,459 --> 00:05:35,860
Sir, I eat when I get nervous, Sir.
135
00:05:35,861 --> 00:05:38,397
So you like Thanksgiving dinner?
136
00:05:38,398 --> 00:05:44,298
Well, from now on, you will be
eating Thanksgiving dinner 24/7!
137
00:05:44,937 --> 00:05:46,838
[Chewing loudly]
138
00:05:46,839 --> 00:05:49,599
[Chewing, panting]
139
00:05:53,913 --> 00:05:56,073
[Gulping]
140
00:05:56,416 --> 00:06:00,136
All the weight I gained sort
of affected my performance.
141
00:06:00,137 --> 00:06:02,477
[Explosions]
142
00:06:03,523 --> 00:06:04,889
[Bugle music]
143
00:06:04,890 --> 00:06:07,926
These men are dead because of you!
144
00:06:07,927 --> 00:06:11,596
- [Sobbing]
- Now eat! They paid for it. You eat it.
145
00:06:11,597 --> 00:06:13,598
[Sobbing loudly]
146
00:06:13,599 --> 00:06:17,169
And I've had a slight
weight problem ever since.
147
00:06:17,170 --> 00:06:18,670
That man ruined my life.
148
00:06:18,671 --> 00:06:21,506
Oh, your life's not so bad. You work here.
149
00:06:21,507 --> 00:06:24,507
[Electricity crackles]
150
00:06:26,145 --> 00:06:30,645
This should go up nice and quick. Whoosh!
151
00:06:30,762 --> 00:06:34,086
Hey, Denzel.
I just want to apologize for earlier.
152
00:06:34,087 --> 00:06:36,990
I don't know what it's like to
be in your shoes. We okay now?
153
00:06:36,991 --> 00:06:39,924
- Yeah, we cool.
- Oh, and I got you this.
154
00:06:39,925 --> 00:06:43,061
It's a pimp cup. It seemed weird
that you didn't already have one.
155
00:06:43,062 --> 00:06:46,231
- You did not just give me a pimp cup.
- What? You don't like it?
156
00:06:46,232 --> 00:06:50,297
Yeah, of course I like it.
But that's beside the point.
157
00:06:50,298 --> 00:06:53,105
To your right, Mr.
Secretary of the Interior,
158
00:06:53,106 --> 00:06:55,215
you'll see that the
mountains are still there.
159
00:06:55,216 --> 00:06:56,817
- Feel free to count them.
- Hmm.
160
00:06:56,818 --> 00:06:59,077
Does that bear have a pilot's license?
161
00:06:59,078 --> 00:07:01,000
No, but don't worry.
I'm not as drunk as he is.
162
00:07:01,001 --> 00:07:02,571
Ooh, a fire.
163
00:07:02,572 --> 00:07:06,384
Can you believe the luck?
Hold onto your hat. This might be heroic.
164
00:07:06,385 --> 00:07:09,087
Just have to hit the water drop button.
165
00:07:09,088 --> 00:07:10,088
Poom!
166
00:07:10,089 --> 00:07:13,091
- That was the fuel dump button!
- Whoops.
167
00:07:13,092 --> 00:07:15,393
You think all black people
walk around with pimp cups?
168
00:07:15,394 --> 00:07:17,895
- I thought you were smarter than that.
- That's unfair!
169
00:07:17,896 --> 00:07:20,376
What have I ever done to make you
think I'm smarter than that?
170
00:07:20,377 --> 00:07:23,835
- [Sniffs] Wait, is that gas?
- You're right. Holy cow!
171
00:07:23,836 --> 00:07:26,605
It's raining gas. We're gonna be rich!
172
00:07:26,606 --> 00:07:28,140
Ste-Zel.
173
00:07:28,141 --> 00:07:30,781
[Both screaming]
174
00:07:32,879 --> 00:07:34,979
Man. What happened?
175
00:07:34,980 --> 00:07:39,090
Just relax now. You've both suffered
fourth- and fifth-degree burns.
176
00:07:39,091 --> 00:07:41,266
You did very well in surgery,
but I'm afraid there
177
00:07:41,267 --> 00:07:44,081
was a teensy, tiny mistake
with the skin grafts.
178
00:07:44,082 --> 00:07:47,459
Mistake? Wait, wait, wait.
What kind of mistake?
179
00:07:47,460 --> 00:07:49,257
[Both screaming]
180
00:07:49,258 --> 00:07:51,657
I went ahead and took 3% off your bill.
181
00:07:51,658 --> 00:07:53,404
Whenever you're ready.
182
00:07:53,405 --> 00:07:55,248
White? Why the hell am I white?
183
00:07:55,249 --> 00:07:58,234
Hey, honest mix-up.
You were both burnt to a crisp.
184
00:07:58,235 --> 00:08:00,238
We knew that one of you
was African-American,
185
00:08:00,239 --> 00:08:02,238
and your friend was the
one holding the pimp cup.
186
00:08:02,239 --> 00:08:04,106
That was all the evidence we needed.
187
00:08:04,107 --> 00:08:05,708
Isn't this great, Denzel?
188
00:08:05,709 --> 00:08:08,131
I get a chance to experience
life the way you do,
189
00:08:08,132 --> 00:08:11,051
and you get to discover how
lame it is to be white.
190
00:08:11,052 --> 00:08:13,396
I already know it's lame
to be white, Steve!
191
00:08:13,397 --> 00:08:16,398
Ah, from now on, I'm black Steve.
192
00:08:16,399 --> 00:08:19,680
- I'm not gonna call you black Steve.
- Ah, you just did.
193
00:08:19,681 --> 00:08:21,851
- Holler.
- Ugh.
194
00:08:21,852 --> 00:08:25,072
Doc, look. You got to get me back into
some beautiful black skin, right now.
195
00:08:25,073 --> 00:08:27,199
Ooh, smallish problem. We're all out.
196
00:08:27,200 --> 00:08:29,441
Your friend, black Steve, is very fat.
197
00:08:29,442 --> 00:08:32,804
Aw, man, I can't be white.
Anything but white.
198
00:08:32,805 --> 00:08:35,507
Tell you what, I've got a roll of
Mexican I've been trying to get rid of.
199
00:08:35,508 --> 00:08:38,544
No, no, no. White is fine. Thank you.
200
00:08:38,545 --> 00:08:42,730
As any numb nuts can see, the cause
of the fire was not natural.
201
00:08:42,731 --> 00:08:46,234
I'm certain we are dealing with
something far more sinister.
202
00:08:46,235 --> 00:08:47,401
Arson. [Taps fuel tank]
203
00:08:47,402 --> 00:08:50,605
What kind of depraved monster
would do something like this?
204
00:08:50,606 --> 00:08:54,842
Hmm, for some reason, I have
the feeling he has a mustache.
205
00:08:54,843 --> 00:08:56,810
Most arsonists have a mustache.
206
00:08:56,811 --> 00:08:58,178
[Laughs loudly]
207
00:08:58,179 --> 00:09:00,954
Mustache? Arsonist?
208
00:09:00,955 --> 00:09:03,097
Very funny, Malloy.
209
00:09:03,098 --> 00:09:04,611
You little bastard.
210
00:09:04,612 --> 00:09:08,589
My hand to heaven, whoever's behind
this is gonna get the chair!
211
00:09:08,590 --> 00:09:10,190
[Pounds desk]
212
00:09:10,191 --> 00:09:11,577
[Gulps]
213
00:09:11,578 --> 00:09:12,687
[Kicks door]
214
00:09:12,688 --> 00:09:14,472
Hey! I know you.
215
00:09:14,473 --> 00:09:16,631
- No, you don't.
- Yes, I do.
216
00:09:16,632 --> 00:09:20,064
You are that man hooker in
Hanoi that I went down on.
217
00:09:20,065 --> 00:09:22,970
That's right.
I'm a male prostitute from Hanoi.
218
00:09:22,971 --> 00:09:25,806
- Thanks for going down on me.
- You're welcome.
219
00:09:25,807 --> 00:09:28,909
Woo, you put on a couple pounds,
didn't you, Phuong Kim?
220
00:09:28,910 --> 00:09:31,545
Wait. You're not vietnamese.
221
00:09:31,546 --> 00:09:33,514
Now I remember you!
222
00:09:33,515 --> 00:09:37,184
You are that waste of space
that washed out of my program.
223
00:09:37,185 --> 00:09:40,621
I knew that you would wind up
in a garbage dump like this.
224
00:09:40,622 --> 00:09:42,782
[Sobbing]
225
00:09:46,400 --> 00:09:47,473
Who's the nerd?
226
00:09:47,474 --> 00:09:51,031
Malloy, I know he looks like a lame,
white douche, but it's Denzel.
227
00:09:51,032 --> 00:09:52,900
Hey, no matter what color
I am on the outside,
228
00:09:52,901 --> 00:09:55,836
on the inside, I'll always
be a dignified black man.
229
00:09:55,837 --> 00:09:58,138
That makes two of us.
230
00:09:58,139 --> 00:10:00,539
[Funk music]
231
00:10:02,000 --> 00:10:08,074
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232
00:10:15,990 --> 00:10:18,859
- What's up, niggers?
- What? Niggers?
233
00:10:18,860 --> 00:10:20,461
Oh, hell no.
234
00:10:20,462 --> 00:10:23,297
You ain't allowed to say our
word, you white bread cracker.
235
00:10:23,298 --> 00:10:26,667
See, Denzel, when Steve says
it, it's empowering and cool,
236
00:10:26,668 --> 00:10:28,235
when we say it, it's a slur.
237
00:10:28,236 --> 00:10:30,237
We? Are you crazy? I'm black!
238
00:10:30,238 --> 00:10:31,868
- No, not really.
- Not so much.
239
00:10:31,869 --> 00:10:34,143
- You watch your mouth, white boy.
- Hey!
240
00:10:34,144 --> 00:10:36,711
See? Don't make black
Steve have to pop off!
241
00:10:36,712 --> 00:10:38,056
Stop talking like that.
242
00:10:38,057 --> 00:10:41,920
- Back up, back up! Back that ass up!
- Fellas! We don't need a race riot here.
243
00:10:41,921 --> 00:10:44,133
But if we have one, I'd
like you to know right now
244
00:10:44,134 --> 00:10:45,847
that I'm siding with the blacks.
245
00:10:45,848 --> 00:10:49,166
I'm sure baby powder over here didn't
mean anything by it, black Steve.
246
00:10:49,167 --> 00:10:50,708
Stop calling him black Steve!
247
00:10:50,709 --> 00:10:54,728
You need to be cool like menthol's,
relaxed like Jheri Curl, baby.
248
00:10:54,729 --> 00:10:57,731
Listen, Woodrow, black
Steve's gots to bounce.
249
00:10:57,732 --> 00:10:59,798
I need to adjust to the
dubious ramifications,
250
00:10:59,799 --> 00:11:02,435
of my unexpected color-ification.
251
00:11:02,436 --> 00:11:05,405
- Malloy, translation.
- He wants the day off because he's black.
252
00:11:05,406 --> 00:11:07,874
- Sounds fair.
- A day off sounds like a good idea.
253
00:11:07,875 --> 00:11:09,669
I think I need some
counseling or some shit.
254
00:11:09,670 --> 00:11:11,739
Denied! You've got work to do, Snowflake.
255
00:11:11,740 --> 00:11:14,047
Aw, man. This sucks.
256
00:11:14,048 --> 00:11:18,087
Huh. We need to get you a new look.
257
00:11:18,088 --> 00:11:20,088
Jive turkey.
258
00:11:20,089 --> 00:11:21,588
Word up.
259
00:11:21,589 --> 00:11:24,709
Hmm, how about a retro look?
260
00:11:24,710 --> 00:11:26,422
Swing low...
261
00:11:26,423 --> 00:11:29,063
Sweet chariot...
262
00:11:30,001 --> 00:11:34,033
Hmm. I like it, but I need
a style that's all my own.
263
00:11:34,034 --> 00:11:35,034
That's it.
264
00:11:35,035 --> 00:11:37,375
[Rap music]
265
00:11:41,175 --> 00:11:42,003
[Gasps]
266
00:11:42,004 --> 00:11:43,987
Wow. Who are you?
267
00:11:43,988 --> 00:11:47,080
- Black Steve, baby.
- Do you mind if I touch your hair?
268
00:11:47,081 --> 00:11:50,021
Not at all. [Boing]
269
00:11:51,486 --> 00:11:54,554
See, Denzel! There's no racism.
270
00:11:54,555 --> 00:11:57,717
- These people love me.
- You look dumb as hell.
271
00:11:57,718 --> 00:12:01,347
Well, might as well embrace my new culture.
272
00:12:01,348 --> 00:12:03,808
[Eerie music]
273
00:12:06,400 --> 00:12:08,635
[Distorted] Bikram yoga.
274
00:12:08,636 --> 00:12:11,350
[Slowed speech] Babybjorn.
275
00:12:11,351 --> 00:12:13,540
[Distorted] Arcade Fire.
276
00:12:13,541 --> 00:12:15,187
[Slowed speech] Gluten-free.
277
00:12:15,188 --> 00:12:16,988
Ah!
278
00:12:18,660 --> 00:12:20,250
Bro, you forgot your...
279
00:12:20,251 --> 00:12:23,149
[Slowed speech] Caramel Macchiato.
280
00:12:23,150 --> 00:12:26,466
I can't take being white!
I got to get back to my roots.
281
00:12:26,467 --> 00:12:29,107
[Dramatic music]
282
00:12:30,424 --> 00:12:34,564
Nah, look out! He's gonna grab you!
283
00:12:35,229 --> 00:12:41,129
Hey, reading rainbow!
Don't let them put you on that slave ship!
284
00:12:43,203 --> 00:12:46,105
- What are you two doing?
- And let the nagging begin.
285
00:12:46,106 --> 00:12:48,708
I don't nag. I'm sick and tired
of you saying that I nag.
286
00:12:48,709 --> 00:12:50,365
Oh, great. Now I sound like a nag.
287
00:12:50,366 --> 00:12:52,358
- More like a bitch.
- Will you pipe down?
288
00:12:52,359 --> 00:12:54,080
I'm trying to spy on Sanders.
289
00:12:54,081 --> 00:12:55,861
He's got the arson evidence in his cabin.
290
00:12:55,862 --> 00:12:58,356
Good. I hope that pathetic dickhole fries.
291
00:12:58,357 --> 00:13:00,587
I am the dickhole who ordered that fire!
292
00:13:00,588 --> 00:13:03,735
- Mm-hmm. That changes nothing.
- Hey, this affects you too, Ethel.
293
00:13:03,736 --> 00:13:06,526
If the FBI traces it back
to Denzel and Steve,
294
00:13:06,527 --> 00:13:09,443
all three of us would go up the
river and you'll be out of a job.
295
00:13:09,444 --> 00:13:11,327
Con: I'll be homeless.
296
00:13:11,328 --> 00:13:14,534
Pro: Steve will be getting
sodomized in the (Bleep)Hole.
297
00:13:14,535 --> 00:13:16,036
Oddly, that's a push.
298
00:13:16,037 --> 00:13:17,704
I need to steal that evidence.
299
00:13:17,705 --> 00:13:20,466
But Sanders is a pro.
Only a ninja could get past him.
300
00:13:20,467 --> 00:13:22,404
Yeah, I know. Too bad Denzel's white now.
301
00:13:22,405 --> 00:13:24,093
I said "ninja."
302
00:13:24,094 --> 00:13:27,862
We don't have a ninja, but
we do have a Navy Seal.
303
00:13:27,863 --> 00:13:29,020
I won't do it.
304
00:13:29,021 --> 00:13:30,942
Oh, so I guess you don't
want to keep your job.
305
00:13:30,943 --> 00:13:31,775
Eh.
306
00:13:31,776 --> 00:13:33,419
Don't you want to keep Woody out of jail?
307
00:13:33,420 --> 00:13:34,670
Stupid question.
308
00:13:34,671 --> 00:13:38,324
Connie, think about it, this is the
Seal mission you never got to perform.
309
00:13:38,325 --> 00:13:41,995
You'll finally have the chance to prove
to him that you do have what it takes.
310
00:13:41,996 --> 00:13:43,765
Prove to who? Kirk Sanders?
311
00:13:43,766 --> 00:13:46,265
Kirk Sanders? [Screams] [Thud]
312
00:13:46,266 --> 00:13:47,921
I love doing that to her.
313
00:13:47,922 --> 00:13:50,477
Black Steve, you're my hero.
Look over here, black Steve.
314
00:13:50,478 --> 00:13:52,640
Yoo-hoo, black Steve.
315
00:13:52,641 --> 00:13:54,431
[Police siren]
316
00:13:54,432 --> 00:13:56,915
What seems to be the problem, bacon grease?
317
00:13:56,916 --> 00:13:59,392
Your brake lights are out
and your tags are expired.
318
00:13:59,393 --> 00:14:02,171
- And?
- Look, I'm almost done with my shift.
319
00:14:02,172 --> 00:14:04,102
I'm just gonna let you off with a warning.
320
00:14:04,103 --> 00:14:06,679
A warning? Oh, I see how it is.
321
00:14:06,680 --> 00:14:09,038
A black man can't get a ticket, huh?
322
00:14:09,039 --> 00:14:11,734
Denzel was right. Racism is real.
323
00:14:11,735 --> 00:14:14,332
Well, Whitey just pissed
off the wrong brother.
324
00:14:14,333 --> 00:14:18,775
Ass-salami steak 'ums, my brothers,
this morning, I was a black man,
325
00:14:18,776 --> 00:14:21,277
but now, I'm an angry black man.
326
00:14:21,278 --> 00:14:25,481
I was the victim of police
discrimination and humiliation.
327
00:14:25,482 --> 00:14:29,552
They refused to give me a ticket
because of the color of my skin.
328
00:14:29,553 --> 00:14:30,654
[Crowd gasps]
329
00:14:30,655 --> 00:14:32,555
I'm confused by your message.
330
00:14:32,556 --> 00:14:35,624
- I can't believe people are buying this.
- Well, I'm lost.
331
00:14:35,625 --> 00:14:38,228
First you were mad that Steve
didn't think there was racism,
332
00:14:38,229 --> 00:14:39,614
now you're mad that he does.
333
00:14:39,615 --> 00:14:41,831
He got off with a warning.
334
00:14:41,832 --> 00:14:43,082
Take it easy, egg white.
335
00:14:43,083 --> 00:14:45,347
- We need to support black Steve.
- Man, whatever.
336
00:14:45,348 --> 00:14:49,308
I said to myself, "black Steve,
it's time to take a stand."
337
00:14:49,309 --> 00:14:51,774
Like when Harriet Tubman
blew up the challenger.
338
00:14:51,775 --> 00:14:52,842
[Cheering]
339
00:14:52,843 --> 00:14:56,179
- All right. All right.
- Ah, my longtime friend, Denzel.
340
00:14:56,180 --> 00:14:58,447
I'm not your friend. I hate you.
341
00:14:58,448 --> 00:15:00,816
This man does not represent the black race!
342
00:15:00,817 --> 00:15:04,153
What does he know about the black race?
He's not even black.
343
00:15:04,154 --> 00:15:07,123
I am black, bitch! [Grunts]
344
00:15:07,124 --> 00:15:11,564
Take your hands off me, you white devil!
345
00:15:12,398 --> 00:15:15,638
[Military marching music]
346
00:15:16,991 --> 00:15:20,203
Well Connie, it's go time. Now get psyched.
347
00:15:20,204 --> 00:15:25,844
- Hooyah, hooyah, hooyah!
- Ow! You broke my goddamn nose!
348
00:15:28,178 --> 00:15:31,041
Warning. I only got a warning.
349
00:15:31,042 --> 00:15:32,440
Let's break down that word.
350
00:15:32,441 --> 00:15:37,018
Warn... to give notice,
advice, or intimidation!
351
00:15:37,019 --> 00:15:38,027
Ing.
352
00:15:38,028 --> 00:15:41,861
I do not know what "ing" means, but
if I had to guess, I'd say it means
353
00:15:41,862 --> 00:15:43,508
"(bleep) Black people!"
354
00:15:43,509 --> 00:15:45,295
Man, I am sick of that race-baiting idiot.
355
00:15:45,296 --> 00:15:48,664
Now, Denzel, we need to put
ourselves in his shoes.
356
00:15:48,665 --> 00:15:51,734
- We don't know his struggles.
- He's only been black for a week.
357
00:15:51,735 --> 00:15:54,003
It might have been a tough week.
We don't know.
358
00:15:54,004 --> 00:15:57,407
Wow, you guys are tolerant.
Maybe I misjudged this town.
359
00:15:57,408 --> 00:15:59,775
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Just because we talk like Morons,
360
00:15:59,776 --> 00:16:02,979
don't mean we ain't got a nuanced
understanding of social justice.
361
00:16:02,980 --> 00:16:06,582
Personally, I always thought this
town could use a few more synagogues.
362
00:16:06,583 --> 00:16:09,618
All right, I get it, but black
Steve don't bother you at all?
363
00:16:09,619 --> 00:16:10,920
I can relate to his message.
364
00:16:10,921 --> 00:16:15,226
We didn't land on Fraggle Rock,
Fraggle Rock landed on us.
365
00:16:15,227 --> 00:16:16,691
Aw, man.
366
00:16:16,692 --> 00:16:18,889
There's got to be a way
to teach Steve a lesson.
367
00:16:18,890 --> 00:16:20,796
That's it. Hey, guys.
368
00:16:20,797 --> 00:16:22,326
You want to help me play
a joke on my friend?
369
00:16:22,327 --> 00:16:25,034
What kind of joke?
370
00:16:25,035 --> 00:16:27,370
Man, come on now.
Don't y'all have white sheets?
371
00:16:27,371 --> 00:16:29,229
That was a white sheet.
372
00:16:29,230 --> 00:16:31,200
I'm a bit of a bed wetter.
373
00:16:31,201 --> 00:16:32,767
Ugh.
374
00:16:32,768 --> 00:16:35,031
All right, guys. Now look.
We're not gonna hurt him.
375
00:16:35,032 --> 00:16:37,333
We'll just give him a good scare, okay?
376
00:16:37,334 --> 00:16:39,494
Yee-haw!
377
00:16:39,683 --> 00:16:42,185
Ow, ow, ow, ow! Come on, boys.
378
00:16:42,186 --> 00:16:45,133
We gonna catch us a black Steve.
379
00:16:45,134 --> 00:16:47,294
Yee-haw!
380
00:16:48,900 --> 00:16:50,368
Where ya headed boy?
381
00:16:50,369 --> 00:16:53,085
I'm off to the square
glasses and bow tie store.
382
00:16:53,086 --> 00:16:55,326
- Get him!
- Unhand me at once!
383
00:16:55,327 --> 00:16:57,727
- Who are you?
- We the KKK, bitch.
384
00:16:57,728 --> 00:17:01,765
Triple "K"? I thought you guys just
provided emergency road services.
385
00:17:01,766 --> 00:17:03,566
Ah!
386
00:17:05,408 --> 00:17:07,868
[Sawing wood]
387
00:17:09,124 --> 00:17:10,771
You can do this, Connie.
388
00:17:10,772 --> 00:17:13,078
Thank you, Ethel. Kiss for good luck?
389
00:17:13,079 --> 00:17:14,428
No.
390
00:17:14,429 --> 00:17:15,637
Fingerblast?
391
00:17:15,638 --> 00:17:17,466
Okay, I'm going.
392
00:17:17,467 --> 00:17:20,047
[Crank humming]
393
00:17:22,308 --> 00:17:25,968
I did it. Take that, Sanders.
394
00:17:28,390 --> 00:17:30,395
[Crank humming]
395
00:17:30,396 --> 00:17:32,118
[Clanging]
396
00:17:32,119 --> 00:17:36,048
What's going on? This thing is supposed
to be able to hoist a Sherman tank.
397
00:17:36,049 --> 00:17:38,920
Uh-oh, Ethel. I shouldn't have
eaten those deviled eggs.
398
00:17:38,921 --> 00:17:39,921
What?
399
00:17:39,922 --> 00:17:40,846
[Farts]
400
00:17:40,847 --> 00:17:42,543
[Sniffs, coughs]
401
00:17:42,544 --> 00:17:44,960
What the... aah! Mustard gas!
402
00:17:44,961 --> 00:17:46,595
Ethel! Help!
403
00:17:46,596 --> 00:17:50,431
Well, what do we have here?
A flying humpback whale?
404
00:17:50,432 --> 00:17:51,900
I'm not flying.
405
00:17:51,901 --> 00:17:54,871
So trying to pull a cover-up, are you?
406
00:17:54,872 --> 00:17:59,340
You are way out of your league,
you disgusting fat-ass!
407
00:17:59,341 --> 00:18:00,976
Whoa. Whoa.
408
00:18:00,977 --> 00:18:01,982
Whoa.
409
00:18:01,983 --> 00:18:04,515
You will never amount to anything.
410
00:18:04,516 --> 00:18:07,718
Because you are a fat piece of...
411
00:18:07,719 --> 00:18:09,305
[Rope snaps] Shiii...!
412
00:18:09,306 --> 00:18:11,226
Oh...
413
00:18:11,711 --> 00:18:13,813
Oh, Jesus! He's dead.
414
00:18:13,814 --> 00:18:15,329
You know what this means?
415
00:18:15,330 --> 00:18:19,295
I completed a mission.
I can be a Navy Seal.
416
00:18:19,296 --> 00:18:21,814
- No fingerblast, Connie.
- Aw.
417
00:18:21,815 --> 00:18:24,819
- What are you gonna do to me?
- Oh, I think you know.
418
00:18:24,820 --> 00:18:27,809
Oh, God. Being black isn't
so much fun anymore.
419
00:18:27,810 --> 00:18:31,072
That's right. It's not all pimp cups
and bitches is it, black Steve?
420
00:18:31,073 --> 00:18:34,042
Up here's a clearing.
It's the perfect spot for a...
421
00:18:34,043 --> 00:18:35,831
[Shocked] Klan rally!
422
00:18:35,832 --> 00:18:37,177
Oh, shit.
423
00:18:37,178 --> 00:18:40,055
Hey, brothers. Welcome.
Better late than never.
424
00:18:40,056 --> 00:18:42,845
I love the new outfits. Very 2012.
425
00:18:42,846 --> 00:18:45,918
Oh, you know what?
We left our giant rebel flag in the truck.
426
00:18:45,919 --> 00:18:49,183
Oh, we got extras.
Looks like you brought us a present.
427
00:18:49,184 --> 00:18:51,145
Oh, my God.
428
00:18:51,146 --> 00:18:54,119
Is that black Steve Williams,
the civil rights leader?
429
00:18:54,120 --> 00:18:56,340
[Cheering]
430
00:18:59,068 --> 00:19:03,028
You guys are all right. Grab him.
431
00:19:04,339 --> 00:19:07,045
Wait, everybody.
Are you sure you want to do this?
432
00:19:07,046 --> 00:19:09,510
Absolutely. Any last words?
433
00:19:09,511 --> 00:19:11,691
I just have a message
for my friend, Denzel.
434
00:19:11,692 --> 00:19:13,174
I just want to say I'm sorry.
435
00:19:13,175 --> 00:19:15,661
Now, ho... ho... ho... ho... hold on.
I can't remember all that.
436
00:19:15,662 --> 00:19:17,404
Somebody get me an ink pen.
437
00:19:17,405 --> 00:19:19,212
All right. Start over.
438
00:19:19,213 --> 00:19:20,939
I'm sorry about...
439
00:19:20,940 --> 00:19:23,940
"I'm sorry about..."
440
00:19:25,427 --> 00:19:27,333
"Forgive me, I love you, see you in hell".
441
00:19:27,334 --> 00:19:29,058
Blah, blah, blah. Close enough.
Let's kill him.
442
00:19:29,059 --> 00:19:30,808
- Stop right there!
- Denzel?
443
00:19:30,809 --> 00:19:33,141
That man right there is white.
444
00:19:33,142 --> 00:19:34,873
There was a surgical mix-up.
445
00:19:34,874 --> 00:19:37,258
I am the black man.
446
00:19:37,259 --> 00:19:39,219
- He's what?
- My goodness.
447
00:19:39,220 --> 00:19:43,658
You mean we almost hung a white
man because he has black skin?
448
00:19:43,659 --> 00:19:47,151
Color really is only skin deep.
It doesn't mean anything.
449
00:19:47,152 --> 00:19:48,769
Aw, man, that's great. You serious?
450
00:19:48,770 --> 00:19:50,451
Hell no. Hang 'em both!
451
00:19:50,452 --> 00:19:53,221
Looks like this is it, bro.
At least we're going out together.
452
00:19:53,222 --> 00:19:55,225
Ste-Zel to the end.
453
00:19:55,226 --> 00:19:58,964
I feel the same way, brother, but I
don't care much for your KKK friends.
454
00:19:58,965 --> 00:20:02,505
Ready? On three. One, two...
455
00:20:03,198 --> 00:20:04,645
Hold on.
456
00:20:04,646 --> 00:20:06,611
It's raining gas, boys!
457
00:20:06,612 --> 00:20:09,672
We're gonna be rich!
458
00:20:14,010 --> 00:20:17,090
Ah, damn it, I meant to
hit the body dump button!
459
00:20:17,091 --> 00:20:20,211
Ah, here we go. Poom!
460
00:20:21,350 --> 00:20:24,770
[Electricity crackles, thud]
461
00:20:24,820 --> 00:20:27,340
Ah, it's gonna be great being black again.
462
00:20:27,341 --> 00:20:31,159
And although I'll be white Steve,
I won't be the same Steve.
463
00:20:31,160 --> 00:20:33,617
I'll be more mature and sensitive.
464
00:20:33,618 --> 00:20:36,264
Well, friends, there's
something I need to tell you.
465
00:20:36,265 --> 00:20:39,148
- We both Mexican, ain't we?
- [Laughs] How'd you guess?
466
00:20:39,149 --> 00:20:43,164
Andale, andale! A-yi, yi, yi, yi, ya!
467
00:20:43,165 --> 00:20:47,245
Would you like to buy some oranges?
468
00:20:47,246 --> 00:20:53,146
Sync & corrections by P2Pfiend.
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469
00:20:54,305 --> 00:21:54,882
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