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(The Stop Motion / Petri Dish)

♪ I got a brand new house

♪ Quite in as a lonely mouse

♪ Breaking in will make alright.

♪ There's so much more to do tonight, I know.

♪ I can do.

♪ I am fine. I am fine. Oooooh, I am fine.

♪ I am fine.

♪ Oh, I've got to be more innocent.

With you around it makes no sense to steal.

♪ I can do.

I told you. The cavalry ain't coming, man.

Who gives a fuck about the calvary? We are the calvary.

Babe, the bag. Can you go get the bag from the car?

Woo

-You get naked. -What?

So the floor doesn't get wet. Take your clothes off.

-Oh. -I'm gonna get us towels.

Okay.

Oh, it’s going down for free.

Babe, take your clothes off so the floor doesn't get wet.

-What are you doing? -Come on.

Welcome to Miami.

BOOKENDS

-Can we just stay in here? -Yeah, we can stay in here.

-Are you sure? -No, dummy. We got to go outside.

-But later. -We got company. That's right.

-She's really sweet. I like her a lot. -Yeah, you like her?

Yeah, at first she was like a bit shy, but then I think she's just scared about the hurricane.

It's definitely both of their firsts--

Yeah I tried telling her that we've been through a a lot of hurricanes in this house.

It's totally safe. You won't even know that it's happening while we're in here.

-Was Lauren, like, reassuring? -Well, yeah. Lauren's wild.

Levi and Javi. Those guys need a podcast or a show. Those two are funnier than ever.

-Are you kidding me? -We should have invited them over too.

-We should invite them over too. -Why? So you can get them naked too?

-What is that supposed to mean? -Nothing, nothing.

-What is that supposed to mean? -Nothing. It's not even a big deal.

-That was a little something. -It's not even a big deal.

-You know me, it's fine. -You hated it.

I love you.

I just didn't want to get water all over the floor.

-It's fine, I totally get it. -You know what we should do with them?

We should play dominoes.

Oh yeah. They know nothing about Cuban dominoes.

-Alright. Come on. They’re waiting. -Oh babe.

-What? -One more thing. Seriously now.

What?

Tonight can we really make sure that we keep these right here?

You're retarded.

Just keep them up. Keep them where they’re supposed to be.

It's crazy how fast it picked up out there, right?

I know, right?

Are you excited about your first hurricane, girl?

I am excited about my first hurricane.

So far so good, I mean dinner was so much fun.

Sounds like you guys are hitting it off.

-You like her, right? -Yeah.

-She's fun, a little wild. Right? -She's crazy. I think she's crazy.

Like ‘get your clothes off’. No foreplay or anything.

-It's super easy, right? It's crazy. -‘Get naked’

No, I think we're gonna be really good friends.

She also said that there's this league that they do for kickball at the Grove

So I thought maybe we could go with them sometime. Maybe-

-Okay yeah. -Start playing some games there.

Yeah. That would be a good way to make friends.

Yeah. It would.

Yeah. It would. But I want to say thank you for suggesting we do this. I'm glad.

But I want to say thank you for suggesting we do this. I'm glad.

You're welcome.

it's just...it's starting to really feel like home. It is.

They always stay open late like that on nights of hurricanes?

Yeah it's like a tradition.

No one's scared of hurricanes anymore. It literally becomes a party kind of.

-Tino was probably born in a hurricane. -Yeah, Tino was probably born in a hurricane.

It's a special thing, on hurricane...

They stay open until when it’s like literally they’re like “okay now”.

You saw. When it starts to pour.

That sounds dangerous.

He doesn't even actually close, like when the hurricane happens,

he stays there, seriously. No, one time I remember

he told a story after a hurricane and he was like "yeah, it was crazy, the power went out"

and I was like "Tino, weren’t you at home?"

And he was like "no, I was here."

I was "like what?" He doesn't even leave.

And he keeps an apartment upstairs in case it floods at the bottom.

-He can just go up there and yeah. -He loves that bar.

-Should we stay there? -I mean you can do the same thing here.

It's not like you're safer there. This is your guy's first hurricane?

-Yeah. -Cheers to the first hurricane.

-First time, long time. -Yeah. It's fine.

We’re safe here. We’ve taken precautions… there's shutters on the windows.

And right now it’s a what? Category 3 when we left?

It was a 3 when we left.

I heard it on the radio...

-A 3? 3 out of what? -5, 5 is the worst.

-3 Out of 3. -That's what I was thinking.

-I was like oh my god. -Don't scare them, it's their first hurricane.

-3 out of 5 sounds bad. -This house is super secure though.

The shutters, I don't even know if you noticed on the way.

You won't be able to look out any windows, we're blocked in right now.

And what's the procedure if shit starts getting too bad?

-We drink. -Yeah, keep drinking.

Hide under a bed, throw the covers over.

You’ll hear stuff crashing if it starts to get really bad.

But it shouldn’t. At a 3… unless it gets much worse.

But it will be fun.

The worst thing that can happen is we have a bunch of shit on our lawn tomorrow.

Which you guys are welcome to come and clean up.

Thank you. We’re going to be sleeping in late, I think.

-Yeah. Keep drinking. We’ll see. -Yeah.

It's good though, this needs to happen.

Mother Nature needs to push that warm air way from the equator.

It’s like the air… (fart noise)

Will you help me push my warm air-

-Imagine it’s like a-- -It’s a pruning. Pruning has to happen.

Imagine there’s, like, a negative energy that’s been building up since the last hurricane.

And then a vacuum comes in and just sucks it out

and like... you just feel that sense of cleanse.

You'll feel it tomorrow, I guarantee it you guys will feel it.

You go outside and it's really nice, but sometimes it's really good

when bad things happen, I know that sounds whatever, but it is, it's good. You'll like it.

Wait! Don't drink! A toast. Good, better, best.

Never let it rest till the good get better and the better get best.

What do you mean, what does it mean?

You always say that toast and I still never get it.

Alex Szarro toasted that to us at our wedding.

I know, I still don't know what it means.

I say that every time we… How do you? Who are you?

-Alright. To the end of days, guys. -Cheers! Cheers.

(The Stop Motion / What It’s Like)

♪ I know you want it. Oh, don’t you want it in your face

♪ Ah, how’s it feel?

♪ Oh, don’t you need it? Need it.

♪ Oh, don’t you want it in your face?

♪ Ah, how’s it feel?

♪ Ah, how’s it feel?

-This is cute. -Thank you. I almost forgot it was there.

I was like wait what? What do I have there?

-The leaf. What kind of leaf is it? -Actually, it's not any kind of leaf.

That doesn't make sense.

I realized how I sounded when I said that.

Yeah, what are you guys doing Saturday? Let's go out, let's go do it. Let's hit it up.

Saturday, sweetie?

-Yeah, exactly! Exactly! -Sweetie. Em. Em. Sweetie.

-Saturday? -Saturday. Party. Wynwood.

-Oh, yeah. Cool. Let’s do that. -Cool.

I do want to do this, but we have plans on Saturday.

What are you guys doing?

Cancel them. We are your plans. What are you talking about?

It's not plans we made, I don't know exactly where we're going.

Who you're going with?

Some friends who are excited that we live in town.

All your friends are here. What are you talking about? Come on.

We don't have a lot, but we have some friends that are going to come in.

-Where are you guys going? -I don't know.

Finger Cuffs.

-Finger Cuffs. -Is that here?

You've never heard of Finger Cuffs?

Is that one of the new restaurants that opened?

No, it's been around. You never heard of it?

You’ve barely been around. What are you talking about?

-We live here! -You're telling us what's in Miami?

-It's like a club lounge type. -Fun.

-Where? Is it here in Miami or... -I know the spots.

-Or somewhere outside of Miami? -No, it's here.

-Like dancing music or what is it? -Yeah, it's definitely dancing music.

-It's sexy. -Sexy music? Like only sexy music?

-Just plain sexy music? -It’s well known. It’s the swingers club.

Oh!

Babe, you know what swingers are. We watched that movie.

Wait. So you guys are going to a swinger's bar?

Yes, we are going to a swinger's club.

Just so we're all on the same page.

So you guys are... You guys are swingers?

Yeah, it's not a big deal.

-It's not a big deal. -Yeah. We can do something another night.

-Friday we're free. -Yeah, cool! That's awesome.

So how does this swinging club work? What do you do at a swingers club?

Is everyone a swinger? Come on, I need more details.

What do you think you do? Come on.

You swing.

What do you mean you swing? What does that mean? How?

-With other people? -What are you applying? Come on.

Maybe. Yeah.

It's really less exciting than he's making it sound.

No, no. This really sounds super exciting.

What happens? What do you do? Do you know the people that are there?

Is it like a community thing? Like do you need a membership?

-Please give me more details. -I mean you hook up with other people.

-You swing. -What?

-Are you guys serious? -Friday is good though.

-Did you know this? -No. Yes, but no.

-I don't know any details. -There's nothing wrong.

-I know.. -I'm just curious.

He mentioned it. I mean... yeah.

-So you mentioned it already? -Briefly. Kind of touched on it.

Like not even details. Nothing like... I know nothing.

-Well normally, we're pretty quiet about it. -I kind of forgot about it.

No big deal. So Friday's good. We'll take Friday.

Friday is great.

-Friday. -Cool.

Friday.

(The Stop Motion / VJ’s Got A Message)

♪ Help out. The sheep in the pasture. The pasture is all up in flames.

♪ There’s hell to pay with credit cards and phone calls aggravate.

♪ Touch me. The feelings your hands bring is so deep it touches my soul.

♪ And we know that touching leads to kissing leads to sex.

♪ I’m losing my sleep at night over your hands.

♪ There’s nothing in my head.

♪ I think you understand right now. I’ve got a message from my world.

♪ There’s nothing in my head. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

♪ I think you understand right now. I’ve got a message from my world.

Hey, what are you doing here?

Let's go to bed. Let's get them settled in.

Come on! Come on, baby.

We were friends for a long time, for a few years I guess.

And we would go out all the time together as a group.

and you know, we'd get drunk and crash at each other's places and whatever.

Not intentionally but usually it ends up that way, like I'm not gonna make it home.

I'm gonna make it to your bed.

He's super snuggles anyway. So yes, it's nice. Friendly snuggles.

Friends that snuggle.

-You were just snuggling, that's it? -You know, some people talk in their sleep.

Some people are sleep walkers. Sleep-make-out-er. This one.

It was like a fun night and everything, it was great, I'm sleeping and all of a sudden

I wake up and this girl is on top of me, with her tongue halfway down my throat.

-You make me sound a little rapey. -It was rapey.

-You see, this is his guy porno brain version. -There's more to the story, I take it.

This is the end of the story, this is not how it started.

So how does it start?

-So the real version of what happened. -Yeah, tell the real version.

We're sleep spooning as you do when you're friends and you snuggle in sleep or whatever,

and I was a little spoon and I woke up in the middle

of the night and something's poking me in the back

and the hands up on my fronts.

So I woke up like oh this is happening. Whatever.

So I get on top of him and start making out with him

because he's gotten to second base with my body.

-So I was like... -While you were asleep.

He might not be a midnight make-out-er, but he's a midnight molester over here.

-Midnight molester? -And he still does it to this day.

I woke up and found out that parts of my clothing

have disappeared over the course of the night

and they're like in the corner of the room. How did my underpants end up over there?

I don't know, I've woken up to him going down on me and I'm like what?

-That's a pleasant surprise to wake up to. -Oh no it was great.

It's fine, I don't mind it, but we both have sleep issues. This one starts it though.

I'm just the one that wakes up and is like cool with it.

Can you blame me?

How soon after that did you guys start the swinging?

And was it like something that you guys decided to do together or...

This we do agree on. I was the one who prompted that.

-Believe it or not, it was all her. -Yes, it was. It's true.

When we started dating, I was already doing it for a while.

It started after I ended this long term relationship

and I was seeing somebody who was into it

and he was like hey, we should try this.

And I liked it so we stopped seeing each other shortly after that,

but I've been doing it for a while when we started seeing each other.

So it was something like "hey, join the party or not".

And you just were ready to go?.

Yeah. And it was new to me and exciting and I thought I was into her,

so I thought what the hell? Give it the old college...

-The old college... -Give it the old college try.

Did you like it from the get go or was it like yes, this is totally keep doing it...

Yeah, it's not that big of a deal, it's weird talking about it like it's some freaky...

But that's what you guys do.

Do you guys like having anal sex?

Does he put it in the butt all the time? What is it like the first time...

I don't want into your house and tell you that you're anal fuckers.

-So that's a whole different... -It's still a good question. I think you should...

-It's just a private thing we do. -It doesn't define us.

-Yeah, are you defined by your anal sex? -I’ll keep you posted, if and when.

No, but you guys, that's what you do. It's your lifestyle. So...

Well I'm used to having my cake and eating it too, so...

-It kind of works out for me. -That's true.

Is this you guys plan on doing forever or how do you even transition out of it?

How does that play out?

We don't really talk about that or think about it. We just sort of...

we take it one day at a time I suppose.

Yeah.

I'm gonna grab me another drink.

I'm gonna grab you that book that I was talking about earlier.

-What book? -War of art. I was telling her about it.

-I'll get it, it's fine. -You sure? The War of Art.

Okay, I got it. You guys set up the Domino table.

Sure.

-You wanna help me out? -Yeah.

-We can set this table up. -Sure.

-Are these all your books? -Some are mine, some are John's.

So I'm guessing these philosophy books are Johnnie's?

Correct.

-Sweet table, bro. -It is a sweet table. Yeah.

Where did you get it?

We found this at the Swap Shop. It’s a flea market not too far from here.

We could take you guys there.

That would be great, we have so much space to fill at our place still.

So what do you do? John never told me.

-What do you do? -Really?

-Yeah. -I'm a kids salsa dance instructor.

Salsa for kids? The seductive sexy art of Salsa dancing for children?

I mean, I don’t go into it saying we’re going to be seductive...

and sendual with six year olds, but you'd be surprised Latin parents...

are super serious about their kids knowing how to dance Salsa.

Him I can understand. Like my boy's a little... you know?

-I know exactly what you mean. -Yeah.

I just didn't see you being the one wanting to be a swinger.

Like swapping and doing that whole thing, and let alone getting him into it.

I thought it was all him. That would be my guess.

I see why that would be the assumption, but no, I definitely was the instigator in that.

-So there's that. -You don't look like a swinger at all.

I don't look like Will Ferrell in a hot tub?

Is that what you expect a swinger to look like?

-Touche. Touche. -I get it all the time, it's fine.

And yes, he definitely enjoys having his cake and eating it too.

-You're obviously Latin, right? -Clearly.

So where does Harper come from? That is not a Latin name.

John actually gave me that nickname. We met on campus and...

when he first saw me I was reading 'To Kill A Mockingbird'.

He thought it was really adorable that I was reading a fifth graders book.

So we exchanged numbers and when he called me again...

he realized he never actually got my name so he started calling me "Harper".

Very cute. So what is your real name?

-Lena. -Lena.

What about you? You think you could ever swing?

It's a good question.

I honestly never gave it that much thought cause it's not really in my world.

I mean, I imagine it's every guy's fantasy.

You know, to be able to mix it up like that. Yeah. I don’t know. I guess. I’m married…

So it's different, it's not really how I was raised. It's just foreign to me.

Married people swing too.

I think it's more technically swinging when you are married.

-Is it? -Swapping, swinging, you know.

-Okay. -Semantics.

-Whoa, that's pretty good for a girl. -You're just mocking me.

-No, that's impressive. -Do you work out?

-Yeah, obviously. -Doesn't look like it.

-I could bench your ass. -Oh, you can?

-Hell yeah! -That's confident.

It just goes to show I'm never gonna understand women. I never will.

That's okay though because women are meant to be loved, not understood.

Did you drop some Oscar Wilde on me?

Did you just catch me dropping some Oscar Wilde on you?

-I can see what you're putting down, yeah. -Really?

-What do you know about Oscar Wilde? -I know I love quoting mysoginists.

Yeah, that he was.

But one of my favorite quotes ever:

"The work is the refuge of those with nothing better to do."

This is like a whole different game here. This is different. This is different.

No cheating. Although...nevermind.

Right. Aye. Zip it.

I don't know if it's very fair actually for you two to be on the same team.

-Cause they don't know... -That's true.

You're right. Yeah, switching it up.

-Why don't you guys... -Team awesome over here!

I'm taking my dominos with me, you can't take this shit.

Hold on, hold on.

Hey, you and I a re on the same team, so that means... paying attention.

if I don't play something, you don't play...

It's cute, though...

I have a feeling I will understand perfectly.

I think you will be pleasantly surprised by how good I am.

-I bet he would be surprised. -So would I.

So whoever has the big 9, IE me this time, that goes first.

-Baby, you got that big nine. Psh... -Shit.

Can it be just one 9 or does it have to be double?

If none of us had the big 9, then we would go to the big 8, big 7s...

When do we stop calling them bigs though and start calling them averages?

-Probably 5. -When they start to become average.

-Exactly, so now you play an 8 off of that. -Okay.

-Partner, partner. -Sending it to you.

4 or an 8? You got it. I'm with you.

I'm gonna send this your way and you're gonna pick it up.

Yeah, I see what you did there, I’m sipping what you’re pouring, girl.

-Yeah. -All right, all right.

-We're busy trying to be big winners. -These guys are playing...

We can keep quiet, just do our thing.

All right.

-There we go, we got a 4 and a 2. -Let me get that going.

-Let me see what that looks like. -Can I go that way?

No. So there's no spinners. That's some west coast gangster shit.

I can teach you all about it, but you wouldn't know.

We can go there if you want. I’ll break this table like Bruce Lee. WAH!

-Babe. -Aye. My roots are my roots.

-You're from the Bay Area too? -I'm from the Bay Area.

-Shut up! That's why we're team mates. -We'll call us Team Dynasty. Right?

-Team Dynasty, she knows what that means. -Team Dynasty. It's no big deal.

-Guys, we're playing. -I think I got the right partner.

-Yeah? -Yeah.

-If you say so. -No.

-I know how your brain works. -No one knows how my brain works.

Put the lid back on it.

Wait. Am I going to have to pass? I can't play anything.

-Do I have to pass? -Okay, you heard that, right?

That means he doesn't have 8's cause what's out there? 8's.

-That's all that's out there so... -You did that.

-Well she kind of did it too. -She just screwed you.

-How does that feel? -I kind of liked it.

Your partner's fucked you.

Well, that's all right. I like to get fucked, sweetie.

Whoa.

-So now, keep that in mind. Remember 8. -Wait, did you just pass for realz?

It depends. Seriously. Remember that I have to pass too.

-And the kitties, are those your kitties? -Well they were.

-They're in that box now. -Oh God.

I mean I loved them, that's Tango and Cash. So Tango was my little girl.

And she did this little dance, she was cute.

And Cash named after the Moneyshot.

Because he was a masturbating cat. Like dead serious.

-What? -Cash, the masturbating cat.

Wait, what?

-Every night. Every night- -Every night.

as soon as we go to bed. Well, they do it differently,

like they don't have hands like per se...

but he would grab... he had his favorite blanket

and he would grab the blanket in his mouth

and knead the rest of the blanket into a ball of fuck...

and then he would just get up on it and you would start hearing...

Cat moans

The first few times were really weird for me, but then I realized what he was doing.

He was like...

cat moan

That cat got more action than any of us.

-Every night, like clockwork. -Every night.

If you dim the lights to watch a movie and go get a snack and it takes more than 3 minutes,

you might come back to a cat fucking a blanket.

-He just knows that it's night time. -Yeah.

People are settling down. I'm gonna do this.

Right. And he was neutered. Spayed. Whatever. Whatever you do.

So he was like shooting dust. There's nothing coming out.

Nature has a way. Nature will find a way.

-Nature will find its way all over our blankets. -I wouldn't worry about you if you were fixed.

-You would do just fine without... -Oh yeah.

Balls or no balls, I'm still humping everything that moves.

-I have needs. -Hey, man. I'm not knocking you.

-But do you have any 3s? -Yeah. Sorry.

How is this Cuban Dominos? Are you Cuban?

No, I'm not, and I'm gonna give you a little lesson now that you live here.

One, don’t call everyone that looks like me, or Latin, Cuban.

-I was just implying... -No, it's a common thing.

-Everyone always assumes... -It had nothing to do with...

-You did the same thing actually. -I did the same thing.

No, it's a valid question.

If it was Japanese Dominos, I'd be like are you Japanese?

No. I wouldn't probably ask you that though honestly.

Same thing, but no. I'm Columbian and Dominican, I am not Cuban. I am Columbian.

Columbian? So you can get us coke?

Actually, I can't, but my relatives can.

Yes they can.

I'm gonna go change into a bourbon free shirt.

Be careful in there.

How is that okay?

You get to ask if she's Columbian and if she can get coke, but I can't even ask if I-

It’s like asking a Swede for furniture. It’s not racist.

It's not at all, it's true.

She's actually allergic to cocaine, if you can believe that.

Real cute, Lena.

-Have to pass. -She's got a 1.

It's showing, let's just play it. It's fair, right?

It knocked over, it's her fault.

So I was checking your little mini library, you got some good stuff there.

-What’s up with all those director books? -It's what I went to school for.

-Yeah? -That's kind of my passion.

That's kind of what I feel like I want to do with my life.

So you're not telling stories anymore?

I'm telling you this one.

It's a doozey, let me tell you that much. Fuck me.

-That’s not how you play. -I know it’s not how you play.

It's stupid.

Speaking of which, were you gonna tell me that you tell our friends about what we do?

I mean, I just mentioned it in passing kind of like at work or whatever, but...

John’s cool. He doesn't care.

That's fine. He's cool, but you know you're supposed to tell me about these things

if you're gonna tell other people about what you're doing...

At least give me a hands up so I don't feel like I'm being thrown under a bus.

No, it's cool. I got you.

-Okay. -Sorry, sweetie.

That thunder scared the shit out of me. Did you guys hear that?

-Hey, come on! Let's finish the game. -Nice bra.

Is it my turn? Oh, shit. Domino, motherfucker!

Was it not my turn?

(The Stop Motion / Boo Kitty)

♪ Save me from myself…

I see what you did there. Sneaky-

She’s trying to block out my 6's, but that’s not going to happen.

Your turn, buddy. What are you playing scrabble over there?

I feel ya. I'm feeling ya.

- This isn't what I was doing. -Yeah. That. Exactly.

Just tell me what to play. Shhh...

My Dominos are in love.

So are you guys gonna follow suit like everyone else in Miami

and start pumping out babies? Is it in the works?

Wow, look at you asking the questions.

Naw. It's a reasonable question. We're married. Makes sense.

We uh... we're not preventing. We're prepared now, you know?

We're not not trying.

So...

We kind of wanted to wait, I guess until we uh...

till somebody was making enough money to kind of lock it down

and have the things you need to have and be responsible, I guess.

So yeah, we're trying-ish.

Yeah.

-But yeah, it'll happen when it's supposed to. -Soon enough.

We try every once in a while.

What about you guys? Thinking about kids? Soon?

Touche.

I don't know how that would work into the uh..

But maybe there's a kid swapping thing that happens.

-Is that a foul ball? -I plan on having a food baby soon.

-If that's what anybody cares about. -Yes.

-But I need to eat something first. -Yes. Let's have a food baby first.

Yeah, seriously this, I can't have it anymore. Will you fill me full of food babies?

Should we eat? Everybody or just you-terus?

I mean, everybody hungry?

It's kind of my department. I pretty much do all the cooking around here so its like-

-Oh? -Most of it. Not all of it.

No. It’s fine. You can do all of it tonight. You can do all of the cooking.

I'm not talking about a mac and cheese, I wanna make them something.

-Like I'm gonna make them something big. -No problem.

-I'll remember that next time you want mac and cheese. -I love you, I love you.

She's great. She opens a mean kind of chilli.

But I'm gonna make her favorite. She knows what I'm talking about.

Oh he's got something special.

(The Stop Motion / Boo Kitty)

♪ I’ve been watching you all my life since I was only 18 years old.

♪ I’ve been keeping you far away since I grew up...

-Do you like your yolks runny? -Sure.

If that's how I should eat the sandwich,

you make it however is the optimal eating experience

so I can fairly judge how good you are at this.

How did you learn how to do all this?

From grandma who taught it to dad who taught it to me.

I mean I've been watching my grandma and my dad make these since I was this tall.

What's your favorite thing to cook in the kitchen?

-Man, anything with eggs. -Yeah?

I'm gonna remember. These are...

That one? I'll do that one first.

-That is a chicken croquetta. -Okay.

-And that one? -This is a papa rellena.

-And these are ham. -These mozarella looking ones?

Yeah, that's exactly it.

-Like that? -Yeah. Just like that.

Actually, it's more like that, to be honest. And this one on top of that one a little bit.

-It's a little weird situation. -Try it. Yeah.

-Good, right? -Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah. Now do them all at once. The flavors mix well.

-It’s so meaty. -I know.

-I don't know if I can do it. -You got it.

I might be done with it. I think I’m done with it.

-That's good, I never had any complaints. -Well, I have good news for you.

-I love to eat eggs, especially in the morning. -Okay.

So I think tomorrow you will be the big winner as will l

and I'm just saying, if you should feel like cooking more eggs tomorrow...

Yeah, I got it. We're stocked up.

-Where do you go to the beach? -South Beach.

-No, no, no. You don't go to South Beach. -But that's the big one.

Yeah, that's the problem. You wanna go to North Beach.

North Beach also has-

I mean you can be topless anywhere. Well, it doesn't matter to you, matters to me.

If you go to 85th street, the beaches there are amazing.

-So you go topless over there? -Yeah.

Absolutely! Who wants tan lines? They're tacky as hell.

Smart.

-I don’t believe in tan lines. -All right, I'll go with you next time.

-I'll go topless too. -You keep going, there's a nudist beach too.

-You guys have that? -Completely nude? Very European.

-Everyone's just chilling, naked. It's cool. -I'd be down for that.

Well, maybe we should all do that. I'd do that, you know...

-John's not really into it. He hates it. -That strikes me as true.

-Yeah. -Is he a big prude?

Well, I wouldn't say prude, but...

-Maybe just not as open, outgoing. -Outgoing

-All of this. -Just give him a push in the right direction.

Yeah, I've tried that. I don't know.

Take him to the topless beach first, have him warm up to it,

and then move down to the crotchless beach.

No. Then he'll fall in love with every gorgeous girl running around topless?

Oh please. He's got you.

You should see the girls on the beach. I go like whoa, jeez!

-Really good looking. -We're definitely going.

-I'm telling you, we should go. -For sure.

-No, we can't bring John. -Baby steps.

We’ll start slow.

-It's happening? -You're ready? Prepare your mouth.

-Prepare my mouth? I think I'm ready. -See that gold dripping?

-Oh my God! -Right?

-That good? -Are you kidding me?

Come on, right here.

So good, right? Best recipe.

-There she is, there's Frida. -That's okay, that's okay.

-It's alright. It's the shutter. We're good. -Or something.

All right guys, so apparently, at 1 o'clock, it turned into a category 4.

-So Frida's a 4. -Awesome!

-Thank you. -I got it.

-You got it. -So I'm dying to know. I got to ask this.

Do you guys have like a criteria in terms of who you can choose?

Any regulations or preferences? When you go to like these -

You've been thinking about this the whole time.

-I have, I have, come on. -Back to the swapping.

It's not every day we have people come over and tell us that they're swingers.

You might be more surprised to know how many of your friends do things like these.

It's not something that gets brought up very often so...

So is it a thing to keep it on the low?

Like you don't want people to know unless they're swingers as well?

Not necesarily, but people tend to judge you sometimes, or make assumptions about

your lifestyle when they find you you do these things. It's just not attention that we invite.

-You guys, we don't judge you at all. -No, I'm not saying I feel judged right now.

It's a private thing, it's like finding out someone's fetish. Like let's talk about

your fetish. So what is it that you like to do in the most intimate times?

-You have like a rule as to who you- -There's a lot of rules.

The main thing is that it's all placed from a place of trust.

Yeah. Right. I wouldn't do anything she's uncomfortable with.

She wouldn't do anything that I'm uncomfortable with.

So we have to be in agreement, it's not like I want to do that and she has to be onboard.

-No it's like... -And you figure this out while you're there?

You get to a place and you're like so and so?

We see who's interested. We're kind of opened to whatever.

There might be someone one of us meets that one of us is interested in

and talk about it and find out if it's cool with the other person.

We might both go to a place like Finger Cuffs and find some people we both like

or we might go out and meet nobody at all when we do it.

-Every experience is different. -Oh, that would be disappointing.

It's always different.

I mean, we still do go home together. So it's fine. Everybody still wins.

-At the end of the day, we have each other. -Okay. What about... What about...

For example, just whatever. Throwing it out there.

What about John and I? Would we fit whatever regulations?

Baby, come on. That's crossing the line, that's a little inappropiate.

If I'm crossing the line, tell me? Really, I'm just curious.

-Valid question. -It's innocent, but it's not innocent.

There's a lot of variables that go into how we decide to do this.

Such as attractions for one, such as other hold ups and you know, red tape issues.

It's something that we don't do with friends generally.

Ever? Have you ever done it with friends?

Yes, but it's a lot more difficult to make it work and not have it be weird afterwards.

So you crossed it out from being an option from now on?

I mean, it really depends on every single situation and on the individual situation.

Okay, I was just curious. I just wanted to know.

Levi, quit jerking off in there. Not what that room is for.

(Ico Manzanero / Talantiando)

-Guys, we're at a category 5. -Frita has arrived, ladies and gentlemen.

She so mad. Look at her, she's pissed.

She's pissed.

Let's dance, let's dance.

-What? -Keep going.

Wait. Wait. Okay. Okay. Now they're just like tangoing or something.

Go with her. You go with her. Teach her what I taught you.

I got it. I got it. I got it. That's fine.

Hey, that's not so bad. Hey wait, I'm on the wrong...

-Maybe a little spin. -Spin.

I used to tell myself it was nice.

Yeah, you’ve got this.

Alright

I think we should swap.

No. No. I mean like swap.

Like what they do.

I wanna do that.

We're gonna be in the house for the rest of the night.

Can't go anywhere. You said you wouldn't do it with friends.

We just hang out tonight. It's the first time.

-It's not like we're really friends. -Do you know what you're saying right now?

-It's okay, don't think about it. Come on. -I work with him.

-It's okay, right? -You're good, bud.

Come on. What's there to lose? What's the problem?

-It can get complicated. -No. No. No. No. No complicated.

I'm not gonna be complicated. You're not gonna be complicated, right?

-This is what they do... -Harper, it can get weird.

No. No. No. No one's gonna be weird. You're not gonna be weird, right?

-You're not weird. Are you weird? -I'm cool.

-No one's weird. It's fine. -Do you know what you're talking about?

Yeah, you want this. You just don't know that you want it. But you want this.

It's good. Let's do it.

It's every guy's fantasy, right?

Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck.

Oh, fuck!

-Stop. Get off me. -What's the matter?

-What happened? -What am I doing? Where's my shirt?

Relax. Relax. What's wrong?

Shut up! Leave me alone. Stop talking to me.

-Fuck! -Calm down! What is wrong?

-You okay? -Get away from me. Stop it!

Fuck. What did I do? What did I do? Shit!

John, you don't have to go through with it.

John. Get out of the room, John.

I want my husband out of the room. Get my husband out of there!

Relax. Relax. Relax!

John! Get my husband out of the fucking room.

-Don't come near me. -It's all right.

-The fuck is going on? -I don't know, man. She started freaking out.

-What did you do to my wife? -Nothing. I Didn't do anything.

You talk to me. Did you just have sex with her?

Did you just do that? Did you have sex with her in my fucking bed?

-Are you kidding me? -Did you? Did you?

-Yes. -You fucking had sex with her in my bed?

What the fuck? Why would you let someone grab me and take me to a room and fuck me?

-Like I had a choice. -Who are you? What the fuck?

-You had sex with another man in my office. -Why would you let him?

This was all you. This was all you guys.

That's the kind of man you are? You just let another man take your wife and fuck her?

-Are you okay? What happened? -Don't fucking come near me.

You just had sex with my husband in my bed.

You said you weren't going to get weird about this.

-Well I am, I'm fucking weird. -Okay.

Calm the fuck down and let's talk about this like grownups.

You had sex with my husband, in my bed.

What were you doing if you weren't just having sex in your office?

-You're a fucking whore! -Relax, this is your fucking fault.

-I'm not a whore. -You're out of line!

You should have known better as far as I’m concerned.

Aye! Chill out.

-Everyone get the fuck off me! -Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa, guys.

I want everyone out of my house. Get the fuck out of my house right now!

Unbelievable.

She's gonna call me a whore? Are you kidding me?

She's the one that's been flirting with you and disrespecting her husband all night long.

No, no, no. Not okay.

She's gonna come out like changing her clothes with some skimpy ass little red bra

like it's so innocent. Oh! I'm just changing my clothes.

-All right, calm down. -I'm not gonna calm down. Are you kidding?

What even happened in here?

Nothing, she started freaking out for no reason.

You saw her. She went insane. You saw her at the beginning.

She was crazy all night long. You knew this. Why would you invite this in our life together?

Sweetie, don't pin this one me.

We can't stay here anymore.

Because you can't have a friend you make in Miami `without trying to fuck his wife.

Are you kidding me? You think I'm trying to fuck her all night?

You saw her all over me. She's the one that kept bringing on the swinging thing.

She's the one that suggested it.

You're the one that told them about Finger Cuffs in the first place.

-You're the one that was bragging about this. -I said one thing at work. Jesus Christ!

So who else knows about this at work?

Is that why your boss was flirting with me the other day?

-Oh fucking grow up, will you? -No, you grow up, Levi. Jesus Christ!

Tonight was supposed to be about us making new friends

and having fun as we're starting our new life together in Miami.

It's not supposed to be about you sticking your dick in every hole that's around you.

-Right, I fucked it up. -You always turn it into that.

It always turns into that.

I fucked it up, it's my fault.

Don't you think I know what it's like to watch you flirt? I've seen you in action.

I've been watching you all night long, just waiting for the opportunity

and just act like "oh it's no big deal".

Don't play so fucking innocent. I saw you guys out there.

Right, let's be on teams. I'll feed you a fucking sandwich. Are you kidding me?

Yeah, cause a sandwich in my mouth is the same as having a dick in my face.

Are you kidding me? This is my fault?

You totally did this. Just fucking admit it and take blame.

Stop blaming me, you fucking crazy bitch. What the fuck are you saying to me?

What did you say to me?! Are you serious? I'm gonna fucking kill you!

You just did.

John, I need you to fucking sit down and I need you to listen to me.

I need you to fucking sit down and I need you to listen to me.

-You need to calm down. -I'm calming down. Listen to me.

-This is all your fucking fault. -This is not my fault.

-This is what you do. - You sat there and let me go in there...

without saying a word. You didn't once. You didn't try fucking once.

-Are you blind? -No. We shouldn't do this.

No. I don't think it's a fucking good idea for you to go in there...

and have sex with another man.

Was it before or after you said, "this is what you want, baby.

No, no, this is what you want."

-You sold us on it. -You've been married to me for three years.

Yes I have, which means I know I have no say when it comes to shit like this.

You never even tried, you just stood there and let me to do whatever the fuck I want.

You never even tried.

So at the company party, you just fucking get on top of table tops.

-Come on. -Come on. Are you serious?

Don't fucking bring old shit up. I'm talking about right now.

I'm talking about right now too. It's the same thing.

How many times did I say tonight, "maybe we should cut it off...

maybe we should go to bed. Maybe we should call it a night.

Why don't we tone it down? Maybe this is the last drink.

Maybe we should go to bed. Maybe we should get to sleep."

Maybe for once you just grab me and say, ‘Hey! Listen to me.’

You want me to be a fucking asshole? Is that what you want?

You want me to get rough with you? Is that what you want?

Yes, not right now because I will fucking kill you, John.

-I swear to God. -Then do it. Do what you wanna do.

This is really bad. This is really fucking bad.

I know. Do you realize what I've done for you?

For this marriage? Where do you think this house came from?

Did it come from me following my dreams?

No. It came from me giving up my dreams, for you.

You became my dream when I met you.

-That's the problem. -I gave up my world for you.

-I don't wanna be your dream. -Do you want me to put you in a cage?

No, I don't want you to put me in a cage, I just want you to be there with me.

Not next to me. Since the moment that we met, John, you've just been following me

and you let me lead. And sometimes, I don't want to lead.

I want you to say "no, this isn't what I want." Or "yes, this is what I want."

You never stand your ground and say to me, "no, that's not what I want."

You had the perfect opportunity and had you done it today,

-we wouldn't be in this situation right now. -I absolutely stood my ground.

-Do you think this is what I wanted? -It's awful, I don't want that.

John, listen to me. I want you to be in a relationship with me.

I want you to have a fucking opinion. I want you to care.

My opinion was that we should not bring up other people into our relationship.

Then why didn't you say that? Why wouldn’t you stop me?

-Because I didn't know how. -You say "stop". What do you mean?

There's only one way to do it, it's saying "no.

"I'm not gonna let you go in there and have sex with someone else."

Or even try to.

You've been at it all night long tonight.

I've been waiting for you to stop it and spend any time with me,

but you had your eyes on her since the minute that we got here

and this is all your fault.

-So what the fuck am I supposed to do? -Right, right, it's all my fault.

I'm the monster. I'm the monster. Well, that makes you fucking Frankenstein.

We wouldn't even be in this fucking situation right now

if it weren't for your fucking swinging, okay?

I wanted to be with just you, all right? Just me wasn't good enough.

You know, it's got to be about you and your fucking selfish ways.

You're not gonna turn this around on me right now.

We're talking about the fact that you needed to put your dick inside of somebody

who went crazy and now we're stuck exactly here.

So you can just slut around and do whatever the fuck you want,

I'm supposed to read you mind and fucking just know

when you have a change of heart?

Let's get the fuck out of here.

I've turned my world upside down for you, over and over and over again.

I'm like your little snowglobe that you just shake whenever you want.

And then I have to just let it settle however it does.

And it's taken you three and a half fucking years

to look me in the eye and say that to me.

- Well, I'm saying it, I'm fucking saying it. -And now what?

Tell me, since you have all the answers. What do we do now, John?

-I'm not claiming I have all the answers. -Now what do we do? Now what happens?

-Because this just happened. -We've got to figure it out.

Whoa. Hey, hey, nobody's going anywhere. No, no, no. I don't care what she said.

-Nobody's going anywhere. -I'm leaving.

I don't give a fuck what she said.

Nobody's going out on that storm. It's not happening.

Just go to your corners. Figure it out.

You know what? That's a good idea. I'm done.

(The Stop Motion / Leaving Me)

♪ I’ve been drinking to your smile.

♪ And I don’t ever want it to go.

♪ I’ve been watching those flowers.

♪ And I don’t ever want them to go.

♪ If there’s something I’ve done wrong,

♪ It could be turned around.

♪ I’m leaving high.

♪ I’m leaving high enough to fly. I’m leaving this.

Fuck.

♪ I’ve been sleeping since twelve o’clock. On and off I dream.

♪ And you look so lost to me.

♪ And I’m so caught up in this shit.

♪ I keep hoping you walk back, but I know you’re not home.

♪ I’m leaving high.

♪ I’m leaving high enough to fly.

♪ I’m leaving this.

♪ I’m not listening.

♪ I’m not trying to lie.

♪ Just make this easier on my mind.

♪ You’re leaving me on. You’re leaving me on. You’re leaving me on.

(door opens)

Babe.

-Hey. -Hey.

I'm really sorry about all that. You don't deseve that.

It's fine. Didn't take it personally.

So what do we do now?

You felt that too?

(door opens)

Em. I'm really sorry, swetie.

For tonight...

For everything I said.

All the shit I said to John about us.

I wasn't fucking thinking.

I was being selfish and I disrespected you and John and Harper.

It's not how I wanted this night to end up and...

I'm really, really sorry.

I'm sorry too.

For flying off at you like that and...

expecting you to read my mind.

I appreciate it, though.

I'm sorry.

I fucked up.

I fucked up really bad.

I shouldn't have done that.

And I shouldn't have asked you to do that.

And I've done that our whole relationship and I'm really sorry.

I’ve pushed you. I’ve instigated. And I’ve

I've tried to make you react or do something.

I wanted to feel like you were in this with me,

like if you fought for me, it meant you cared, if you did anything, then it meant you cared

and you really wanted to be with me, that you really wanted me.

I just wanted to feel something from you.

I am really sorry.

I can't do this anymore.

Sorry.

Okay, that's fine. We don't have to see anyone else.

You are all I need. I just wanna be with you, sweetie.

That's not what I mean. I don't... I can't do this anymore.

It's not about being in an open relationship.

It's about being in an open relationship with you.

I need to trust you and I lost that a long time ago.

-I realized that tonight. -Don’t let it end this way, though.

Don't let what happened tonight ruin what we have.

-I don't wanna feel this way anymore. -It's not us, it's our situation.

Forget everybody else, I wanna be with you.

Let's move past this.

It's not that the system is broken. We're broken.

You can't give me what I need.

I can't keep waiting for you to figure it out and give it to me,

it's just not you and I don't want you to not be who you are.

I'm done making you give me what I need.

I want more.

I deserve more. I'm not gonna settle for anything less.

Right.

Right. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

Please say something

Let’s just start all over and put all of this behind us. And just start all over.

Everything from the past three and a half years.

Tonight. Everything. All of it.

It's all bullshit. Let's just start fresh. We can.

If we both do it, we can. If we both want to, we can.

That's all we need. We just need each other to do it.

Please tell me that we can do that.

John, please tell me that we can put this all behind us.

And move forward from here.

I wish I could, Lena. I can’t.

No, we cannot put this behind us.

This really happened.

This is really our life now.

I can't forget about what happened tonight.

I don't feel good, it doesn't feel good. I can't lose you. I can't lose you.

I'm really scared, John. I can't lose you over this.

We’re real. This is real. Me and you are real. That was not real.

What happened tonight is also real.

I don’t want what happened in that room.

That’s why I stopped. I want what I have with you. I don’t want that.

And I don’t want what we’ve been doing, what I’ve been doing. We can just do it again.

We can just start over, because I can’t do it by myself.

And I’m really scared.

I just want to be with you.

And I know that together we can do it.

We can do this. We’ll be good if we do it together.

I know that we can.

I know that we have it in us, I know that you love me.

I know that you want to be with me.

And I love you and I want to be with you and I know that we can do this.

We can't just put this behind us like it never happened.

We can't go back.

I fucked up too.

This is not all on you.

I could have put my foot down. I should have. So many times.

You’re absolutely right.

There’s three and a half years worth of me just following your lead.

And that's not fair to you.

It's not what you signed up for.

I'm sorry.

We can't go back, there's no way.

We have to move forward.

I have to change, you have to change.

But we can't just sweep this under the rug. This is not going away.

I'll never forget about tonight. You'll never forget this.

We can move forward.

I want nothing more in this world than to be with you.

But we have to change.

We have to let this change us.

If this is for nothing. If all this happened for nothing.

We can do this. I can't lose you, it would destroy me.

You’re my world. I don't want to be with anybody but you.

Since the moment I laid eyes on you.

We’re not the same people.

That's terrifying.

We can do it together, though.

(The Stop Motion / Tuesday)

♪ I wanna be here with you.

♪ I wanna be here with you.

♪ I wanna be here with you.

♪ I wanna be here with you.

(The Stop Motion / Melody)