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[man] Stand by,
everybody, as we turn
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the calendar back 500 years
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and bring you the 123rd running
of the Canterbury Tournament.
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The weather is clear,
and it looks
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as if attendance records
will be smashed.
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Yes, sirree.
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Red-hot plum pudding.
Plum pudding here.
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Get your programs here.
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You can't tell one knight
from another without a program.
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[man] To the winner of this
famous tournament today
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will go riches, honor and
glory, and the frail, white,
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delicate hand of the princess,
Esmeralda,
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- fairest flower
in all the kingdom.
- [men whistling]
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Ya-hoo!
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[man] What a prize for
stout-hearted knights
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00:01:01,800 --> 00:01:02,960
to do and die for.
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We take you to the challenger,
Sir Loinsteak.
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Fourteen points of brawn,
muscle and courage.
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Blonde and blue-eyed, ready to
go against the champion
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for the heavyweight slugging
title of the British Empire.
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Here we have the little man
who, since morning,
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has been preparing
his knight for the big day.
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Introducing Cedric,
the loyal servant,
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who dreams of some afternoon
when he will become a knight
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and face death for the smile
of a lovely princess.
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[sighs deeply]
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[man] But today
Cedric duty is to see to it
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that his master is overhauled.
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New piston rings,
brakes realigned,
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body simonized
and a change of oil.
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The big moment's close.
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The crowd is on its toes
and yelling for action.
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We go into final preparations
for the big event.
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The all-important touches that
may snatch victory from defeat.
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[sounding]
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Uh-oh! Hurry, Cedric, hurry!
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[shatters]
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Get rid of it, stupid.
Anywhere. Under the rug.
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No time to lose.
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Before you can say "Jack
Robinson" the gladiators'll
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be out there, slugging it
out for the championship.
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Betting favors the champion,
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but the challenger is going in
with confidence.
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There may be an upset if
Sir Loinsteak turns the tables.
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Matter of seconds before
the two contestants meet
face-to-face.
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The last-minute... But wait!
Something's gone wrong here.
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Sir Loinsteak is completely
out. A cold knight!
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There's a slip-up.
Looks as though the tournament
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may be off.
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There's Cedric.
Look here, Cedric.
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You're in the armor now.
Fate has smiled upon you.
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Lucky stiff.
This is your big chance.
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Imagine...
You, Cedric, can be a hero.
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Win the glory,
riches and honor.
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To say nothing of the fair hand
of the princess Esmeralda.
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Think of it, Cedric.
The chance of a lifetime.
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[crowd cheering]
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[man] Now, coming out
on the field,
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Sir Cumference, the champion.
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Old Ironpants, they call him.
Never lost his seat in combat.
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Many a knight has gone down
in defeat
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beneath the hoofs
of his trusty war horse.
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Here we have the challenger.
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It's the loyal Cedric,
doubling for Sir Loinsteak,
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willing to do or die
for his master.
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Or could it be
the fair princess, Esmeralda?
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[crowd cheering]
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[Esmeralda whistles]
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[man] Looks like love
at first sight.
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With an inspiration like this,
how could anyone fail?
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[man shouting indistinctly]
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[man] Easy, there, Cedric.
Easy does it.
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The knights and horses
are in the starting gate.
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Battle stations,
visors down, lances set.
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Any minute now. Sir Cumference,
the champion, is the favorite,
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anything can happen out here
this afternoon
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and probably will.
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00:04:03,840 --> 00:04:06,320
The crowd is waiting
for the starting signal.
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The fans are on their toes.
And there they go!
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The champion is going to the
front. Here comes Cedric.
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Both move at a furious pace.
It's gonna be ghastly.
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It's close. Cedric is on the
rail, here's the champion.
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- Coming up the line
of scrimmage.
- [shrieking]
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[grunting]
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[man] It's all over.
It's all over.
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With Sir Cumference
the winner and champion.
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[all] Bravo, bravo.
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Boo! Boo!
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[man] Just a minute, folks.
Hold your horses. What's this?
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Yes, it is. Believe it or not,
Cedric is in there again.
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What a fighting heart.
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00:04:48,960 --> 00:04:51,440
The champion sets himself
for another charge.
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00:04:51,520 --> 00:04:54,400
There's the windup, the pitch.
The champion connects.
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00:04:54,480 --> 00:04:56,320
A line drive going over
third base.
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00:04:56,400 --> 00:04:59,560
No, a long foul ball
into the left field bleachers.
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00:04:59,640 --> 00:05:01,640
Little Cedric is right back
in there.
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00:05:01,720 --> 00:05:05,680
It's a hot knight we have
out there this afternoon.
100
00:05:05,760 --> 00:05:07,200
But the champion
is on his toes.
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00:05:07,280 --> 00:05:09,280
That's a mighty fistful
of sword.
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00:05:09,360 --> 00:05:11,760
He means business.
He's going in for the kill.
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Poor Cedric. This looks like
the beginning of the end.
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No knight living could stand up
under this powerhouse.
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It may be the kid's last ride,
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but he's right in there
pitchin'.
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And he connects.
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What a sock this
little fellow packs.
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The champ rocks back
on this heels.
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Cedric sprung a surprise
that time.
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00:05:30,360 --> 00:05:31,960
But the champion is
slashing back now
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with a right and a left.
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He's making every blow count.
One, two, three, oh!
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No-holds-barred in this battle.
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[crowd shouting indistinctly]
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[man] There's a smashing right
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and Cedric loses his head
for a moment.
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Now the champion
takes one on the noggin.
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- [whistles]
- [crowd cheers]
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[man] The champ is taking more
time. He's lost confidence.
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This challenger is
no creampuff.
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He moves in and lets fly
with an attack.
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Left, right, left,
right, left, right.
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The champ is throwing
everything he's got at Cedric.
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00:06:03,080 --> 00:06:05,480
He can't take this bombardment
much longer.
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Why doesn't somebody stop this?
It just don't seem human.
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It's unbearable.
There ought to be a law.
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Why, the whole suit will have
to be scrapped,
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including Cedric.
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[drilling sounds]
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[man] But wait. The champion
seems to be tiring.
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Those blows are losing
some of their speed.
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00:06:25,480 --> 00:06:27,280
The champ is breathing
hard now.
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00:06:27,360 --> 00:06:29,280
Again, we take you inside
with Cedric.
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00:06:29,360 --> 00:06:31,120
Plenty cool, this boy.
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00:06:31,240 --> 00:06:33,760
Something's happening.
Let's have a look-see.
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00:06:33,840 --> 00:06:36,640
Could it be that Ironpants
is beginning to weaken?
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00:06:36,720 --> 00:06:39,640
Yes, he reels in his saddle.
He's going down!
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00:06:39,720 --> 00:06:41,400
Yes, he's down!
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00:06:41,480 --> 00:06:42,960
- Ya-hoo!
- That wraps it up, folks.
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The winner and new champion,
little old Cedric.
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That's the way it goes, folks.
Chump one day, champ the next.
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What a day for a knight
and what a knight for a day.
10637
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