Original subtitles

I LIKE BATS

He's warning you.

Rather, asking to be dusted.

I'd be happier if you were married.

I'm old enough to do what I want.

But I'm your aunt. It was me who raised you.

I'll always be grateful to you.

It's a warning.

The picture also fell down when I had my accident...

...but the glass didn't break.

You can't go on like this.

Maybe not Marceli, but there must be somebody...

Nope. Nobody.

Have a rest today, auntie.

Good morning!

How are you?

Did I scare you?

You look annoyed. Maybe this isn't the time for my jokes...

It never is.

A young woman was murdered.

Shhh! Auntie's not well.

Strangled with a belt!

Luckily, Auntie doesn't read the papers.

I have the best remedy for nerves.

We'll soon cheer her up.

- Please, none of your tricks... - But just let me shake your hand...

There's no life without laughs... and laughter is a money-spinner.

I'm lucky that laughter is my business.

I'm not sure if I showed you this before...

What's the matter?

A girl was killed in the woods yesterday.

It might have been you, Isa!

That's not all.

It says here it's a sex-crime!

I talked to the commissioner... there have been 7 other murders.

We can't allow Miss Isabella...

...to walk home alone through the woods.

Marceli is right. He'll accompany you as long as the killer's at large.

Don't exaggerate! One might think you'd planned the murder...

...so you could send Marceli with me.

Don't interfere in my work. Find someone else...

...and don't try to scare us with tabloid news.

Here...the divining rod.

What...what's happening?

It's my niece. She has amazing bio-energy.

But she doesn't care about it, or those who sense it.

- Greetings. - Greetings.

Maybe you'd like this tea set?

Yes, sure. And the rod. Are instructions enclosed?

Of course.

You're busy today.

It's late...so...I thought...

...that you could walk me home?

No thanks. I told you I prefer to be alone.

You are so kind and attentive...

But you see, Isabella likes solitude.

Yes, I see. I'm sorry.

Give me half a pound of sprats.

Kiss me.

Hello?

I'm fine, auntie. Don't worry.

I must get back to work.

I finished a new set overnight. Look!

It's hideous.

Excuse me, can I have a look at it?

No, it's not for sale. It's private property.

Let the gentleman have a look, auntie.

May I?

You're very pale.

It's...it's nothing.

It's very original.

I have lots more original designs.

All very unusual. All made by my niece here.

Forgive my curiosity, but why bats?

Most women abhor bats.

Most women...yes.

I'll take it.

I have some other items at home.

Maybe you'd like to see them?

Sorry, I'm just passing through.

I leave early in the morning.

But I'll buy this one.

I'd reconsider it if I were you.

What will your tea taste like... in something like this?

A bat is a rodent, after all.

Auntie...again?

The Great Iching told me: heaven lower, earth higher.

Thunder and lightning, Isabella's in danger!

You are all hopeless.

I've wasted my life...for a woman who doesn't notice me.

She has no soul!

I'm rich.

I could have married 3 times over, set up home.

Let me buy you a drink.

No thanks, I've reached my limit.

I don't know why I'm telling you all this, but...

You must tackle your problem.

Try one of them.

Buy her a drink. You'll probably score.

You don't understand. Nobody does.

What, again? Get dressed!

Excuse me.

Buy me a drink?

I'd rather be alone.

Won't you like some fun? You've not been here before, have you?

No.

Maybe I should buy YOU a drink. You need warming up.

I don't like girls.

Oh? You don't look like that.

Go away.

I know what you really like.

I spend my time on the road, giving girls what they like.

But sometimes that means trouble.

If one of you likes it too much, she tries to make it last longer.

That's the trouble with women... if you find a guy who's good at it...

...you won't let him stop.

I'm an expert at this, you know.

And you don't look quite so innocent yourself.

If it's good, you can yell... I sort of enjoy that.

I'm free at last! No more complexes!

You are pathetic. Just a big bore.

Say everything is ok!

These cases are difficult for us.

It's a terrible experience...

...but maybe you can recall some details?

How was he dressed, for instance?

I don't remember. It was quite dark.

Had you ever seen him before?

No, never.

You remember that sex murderer? He seemed to have disappeared.

We thought we were rid of him, that he had gone elsewhere.

Now there may be more victims.

- Goodbye, ladies. - Goodbye.

Goodbye.

You know, Marceli came to me this morning.

He said he's going away. Isn't it odd?

What do you want?

Isabella sent me.

I don't understand.

I'll explain if you let me in.

All right.

It's you...?

The spotless slut, the pure Ms. Isabella.

And like an idiot, I wanted to go away.

You know, I wanted to kill you...

Kill me later, now try this.

You gave me a fright!

Sit down and watch this.

What is it?

Listen to this.

We apply widely-tested methods of modern psychiatry...

...with the help of eminent specialists.

Academics, physicians, psychotherapists...

...and of course, highly qualified nursing staff.

That means I conduct a superb team.

Don't call us, we're full up!

You were watching a report by Sylvia Pakula,

visiting the clinic of Professor Rudolf Jung.

Now I know why he bought that hideous tea set.

He turned out to be a psychiatrist.

I must find him.

Good.

At last you are behaving like a woman.

I need to see Professor Jung.

I'm sorry but he is not seeing anyone today.

You must make an appointment.

He has met me, I must talk to him.

Just a minute.

Professor Jung's office. Can I help you?

The professor bought a tea set from me. Hand-painted in a bat design.

Was there a problem with the bill?

No, it's more complicated.

Wait a moment, please.

The professor will see you now.

Have you come here for treatment?

No... you came to see someone.

I came for treatment.

You don't know the way?

You must go this way...

no, that way... or that.

Hello.

I make good use of your tea set. Welcome. What can I do for you?

I want to be admitted to your clinic. Only you can cure me.

I'm afraid that's not possible.

Listen, I...I am...a vampire.

And I am a psychiatrist. Come.

This is not in your honor. I always drink tea in your cups.

I was even thinking of revisiting your charming little town...

...to buy more of those delightful trifles you make.

Please, doctor, let's talk about my problem.

You know why I like this set?

Because I know there isn't any other like it.

There isn't.

Only you can help me... try to understand.

There have been victims. I really am...

If that's so, why don't you contact the police?

Police need evidence, and there isn't any.

Well, we could try hypnosis... just a few sessions.

That helps sometimes.

I can't be hypnotized.

Does that mean you refuse?

All right, let's try it.

No, no...you misunderstood me.

There are specialists for that.

You'll find that it won't work.

Eight...nine...ten...eleven...

...you're getting sleepy.

I'm not.

Not sleepy at all.

That's impossible.

I told professor that I'm not susceptible,

but he said he employed experts.

You're not co-operating. You don't want to be cured.

Very well, try again.

Not now. Tomorrow, same time.

They are all happy to work here and be part of a group.

I don't suppose you ever had to work.

What are the chances of a cure?

Don't worry. Now you're here, we'll figure out a cure.

Hello, how are you this morning?

I'm fine.

Isabella, our new guest.

Welcome.

Hi.

Come, I'll show you what to do.

I have my own garden, so I know a bit.

That's great.

What's your problem?

I'm a nymphomaniac.

When a man likes variety, he's a Don Juan.

Women... are put in clinics.

Interesting.

Let's get to work, everyone!

Ah! I was thinking about you. You're different...but not ill.

I'm just an ordinary junkie. Only rich, very rich...

That's why they put me in this luxurious aquarium.

What about you?

I don't know how to put it... I'm a nymphomaniac.

Intriguing...and quite rare.

I must get on with my painting. There's so much to do.

I'll come and see it when it's finished.

I will never finish it.

Why are you not working in the gardens?

Does it tire you?

Please go back to work.

Try not to think of anything other than that.

It's all part of the treatment.

I'm waiting for you to go.

No trips to the greenhouse! It's absolutely forbidden!

Do you understand?

Listen...Isabella is mocking us.

She simply won't co-operate.

It's the first time this has happened, ...and I'm at my wit's end.

What are you saying, doc?

I can't hypnotize her.

- You? - That's right.

Yes, Jung here. What? Can you repeat that please?

Isabella's missing.

She asked to see you, but we can't find her now.

- What about the guards? - They haven't seen her.

Find her and let me know.

She suffers from delusions, but she wants to be cured...

Listen professor! I can't waste my time in the garden or with Dr. Schultz...

...when I feel it's coming on.

What's coming on?

You know perfectly well.

We were just discussing your case.

Without your willingness, we can't help you.

Will you please co-operate?

I'm not a case...I'm a vampire.

Yes, a vampire!

Will you co-operate?

- Tell me... - What?

You are asleep.

I'm asleep.

Now tell me who you are.

I'm Isabella...I'm a vampire.

Vampires don't exist.

Repeat: vampires don't exist.

Don't exist...

Now tell me...who you really are.

I am...a vampire...help me.

Come along.

We must not give in... or co-operate, as they say.

We came here to recuperate from the pressures of civilization...

...not to have our lungs x-rayed.

I have read a lot about x-rays.

Scientists agree they can be harmful.

It's easy to undress and get x-rayed.

But I must be frank...

I'm afraid of AIDS...and I won't allow them to x-ray me.

I pay a fortune for my stay here, like all of you.

Someone has to say "No! We won't be exposed to x-rays!"

I don't understand it.

You think I do?

You are invisible!

I'm right here, doc.

She's not there...dammit!

Maybe you'd like a game?

No.

I feel like going for a stroll.

Go ahead.

They keep watching me all the time.

But you're cured. Shouldn't you go home?

What home? No, I want to stay here.

I want to paint...but I can't... because they keep watching me.

You know, they keep an eye on you as well.

On the contrary, I could complain of a lack of interest.

Everyone is watched... like apes in a cage.

Hey...hey, go and do some gardening instead of moping around.

We're taking a walk.

You have to keep busy. Take these. Go on.

What do you want?

Come out.

Are you crazy?

Oh no! That can get me in big trouble!

No. You're a stud, but you must be tired of all those nurses.

And I'm leaving tomorrow. I can't go without visiting the orangery.

Only you can help me. Will you?

Well, if it helps you...

What a lovely place... full of charming eccentrics.

You look healthier.

You were right, Dr Jung is the man to help you.

He's not particularly interested in me.

I look... healthy? I wish you'd been here yesterday.

Why? Did something happen?

Nothing unusual. I've decided to give up and go home.

Wait! What about Rudolf?

Let me have a word with him. Now where is he?

- Who? - You know who I mean.

Dr Jung...

Can I help you?

No, it's too late for me. But my niece here...

Apparently you took no interest in her...

in her case, I mean.

Your niece suffers from a delusion. We do treat such cases...

But she really needs a competent ...psychoanalyst.

Or a long vacation, maybe.

Delusion, you say?

Exactly what kind of delusion, professor?

Your niece thinks she's a vampire.

Oh...how could you?

I'm sorry, but I did say it was a delusion.

Don't ever use that word again, please.

Excellent. Everything looks fine now... don't you agree?

Huh? Oh, yes...yes, a perfect image.

You may go now.

And now?

Yes, yes, I can see it!

Calm down.

By tomorrow I want the apparatus totally dismantled.

Fools, you are scared of a corpse? It's just death. Ordinary human death.

The show goes on.

We all have to die one day. So what? If you're so afraid...

...better run away!

Look out. Here comes the secret of a heap of turf.

Take him away.

Perhaps now you'll believe me. I killed him.

The police are dealing with it.

You were sound asleep when it happened.

Asleep... asleep...

tell me, what's your dearest wish?

I can't tell you that.

You must.

Kiss me.

Get up. This is hopeless!

Of course it is.

I should go home.

I'll recommend a renowned psychoanalyst.

I thought...

I think your problem is not something that medicine can treat.

And that's why you are not interested?

I'll go now, Auntie.

See you tomorrow.

Ok, dear.

You and your aunt will be most welcome!

- We are invited to a masked ball. - And you'd like to go?

Sure. One should enjoy life.

At my place, nobody is ever bored!

You're full of surprises, Isabella...

Excuse me, we're looking for our ball.

All right, take it.

Go on...can you see it? Yes?

I'm sorry.

Ginger!

Promise me you'll come...please.

I have to prove it to you.

It is important to me.

No, I don't need a shrink.

In spite of your immense knowledge, I'll prove to you that I'm right.

Promise, Professor.

This is quite important.

Good night.

Let me introduce our new pharmacist.

My wife and my kids.

Pleased to meet you.

Welcome everyone, let's party!

Help yourself to the refreshments! And join the dancing!

May I have this dance?

Thanks for coming.

You made me come here just to dance with you?

Be patient, Rudolf. Try not to let me out of your sight.

Keep away, don't touch anything!

Blood!

It's not real!

Fake blood, ladies & gentlemen!

Doesn't leave any stains.

Fun, eh? Isn't it fun?

Your tricks will be too much for me, one of these days.

I didn't know you were so sensitive!

It runs in the family...we can't stand the sight of blood.

One day you'll give me a heart attack.

Sorry, but one day I'll give you a real surprise!

You should take care of your heart...get a check-up.

No worries, I have a spare.

Here's to laughter, everyone!

Laughter is healthy... even death wears a smile.

This time he's really dead.

I feel so foolish. Go back to your cases!

Again I didn't prove anything.

It's no use.

I want to leave!

Don't touch me!

You are an iceberg.

Monster!

They are better off here than in prison.

Many governments are glad to hand them over to us.

Here they help the cause of science.

Besides, the ocean has a soothing effect.

Of course, we keep them for the rest of their lives.

Afterwards, we do a careful post-mortem, and examine the brain.

Easy, Klaus, easy.

In all my career - and I became interested while I was a student -

...I've never heard of a female vampire.

If one existed she would have ended up here, sooner or later.

Rudolf, please get me out of here!

Professor Wolf is the greatest authority on such matters.

- Do you trust me? - Yes, but let's go.

Your presence here is also an experiment.

We've never had a woman here before.

This way please.

Where did we meet last...Barcelona?

No, Karlovy Vary.

I'm out of touch with your scientific elite.

That's a pity.

Now that she's admitted here, you can rest easy.

What do you mean? You must have misunderstood me.

Why did you bring her here?

To convince her that a woman...

Yes, I know a woman can't... but she is a vampire.

Nonsense!

What did you say?

I said it's utter nonsense.

I tell you, without doubt: she's a vampire!

Leave me alone! Go away!

I'm tired of it all! They are like me! I belong here!

My life was planned from the beginning.

My clinic, my work...and no woman to interrupt the routine.

You understand? No woman...

Don't go to sleep!

I told you to leave me alone.

I can't. I love you.

I love you.

I love you.

I can see myself for the first time!

It's the first time I've been with a man.

Don't be afraid. I'm here.

Listen, everyone! She is a vampire! She is a vampire!

You never told me about the time you fell in love. How did it start?

It was so long ago.

You know, I can recommend an excellent dentist.

Very old, but an expert.

He even treated my... well, never mind.

Mommy!

Mommy!

Mommy!

Mommy!

Martha.

Martha.

There you are. Come along, darling. Come to mommy, sweetheart.

Original English subtitles by Hilda Andrews-Rusiecka. Transcribed, edited & re-timed by Ajmal Hussain.