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Kids, I'm gonna tell you an incredible story ;
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the story of how I met your mother.
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Are we being punished for something ?
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No.
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Yeah, is this gonna take a while ?
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Yes. 25 years ago, before I was Dad,
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I had this whole other life.
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It was way back in 2005.
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I was 27, just starting to make it as an architect
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and living in New York with Marshall, my best friend from college.
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My life was good.
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And then Uncle Marshall went and screwed the whole thing up.
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Will you marry me ?
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Yes. Perfect !
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And then you're engaged.
You pop the champagne.
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You drink a toast.
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You have sex on the kitchen floor.
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Don't have sex on our kitchen floor.
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Got it.
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Thanks for helping me plan this out, Ted.
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Dude, are you kidding ?
It's you and Lilly.
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I've been there for all the big moments of you and Lilly :
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night you met, your first date, other first things.
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Yeah, sorry.
We thought you were asleep.
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It's physics, Marshall.
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If the bottom bunk moves, the top bunk moves, too.
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My God.
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You're getting engaged tonight.
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Yeah. What are you doin' tonight ?
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What was I doing ?
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Here Uncle Marshall was taking the biggest step of his life.
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And me ?
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I'm calling up your Uncle Barney.
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Hey, so you know how I've always had a thing for half-Asian girls ?
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Well, now I've got a new favorite... Lebanese girls.
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Lebanese girls are the new half-Asians.
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Hey, you want to do somethin' tonight ?
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Okay, meet me at the bar in 15 minutes. And suit up !
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Where's your suit ?
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Just once, when I say suit up, I wish you'd put on a suit.
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I did that one time.
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It was a blazer !
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You know, ever since college it's been, Marshall and Lilly and me.
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Now, it's gonna be Marshall and Lilly... and me.
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They'll get married, start a family.
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Before long, I'm that weird, middle-aged bachelor their kids call Uncle Ted.
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I see what this is about.
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Have you forgotten what I said to you the night we met ?
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Ted, I'm gonna teach you how to live.
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Barney. We met at the urinal.
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Oh, right. Right.
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Lesson one : lose the goatee.
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It doesn't go with your suit.
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- I'm not wearing a suit.
- Lesson two : get a suit.
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Suits are cool.
Exhibit "A."
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Lesson three : don't even think about getting married till you're 30.
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30. Right. You're right.
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I guess it's just, your best friend gets engaged,
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you start thinking about that stuff.
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I thought I was your best friend.
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Ted, say I'm your best friend.
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You're my best friend, Barney.
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Good. Then, as your best friend,
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I suggest we play a little game I like to call
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- "Have you met Ted ?"
- Wait. No, no, no.
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We're not playing "Have you met Ted ?"
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Hi, have you met Ted ?
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Hi, I'm Ted.
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Yasmine.
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That's a very pretty name.
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Thanks. It's Lebanese.
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I'm exhausted.
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It was finger-painting day at school,
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and a five year-old boy got to second base with me.
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Wow ! You're cooking ?
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Yes, I am.
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Aw...
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Are you sure that's a good idea ?
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After last time, you looked really creepy without eyebrows.
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I can handle this.
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I think you'll find I'm full of surprises tonight.
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So, there's more surprises ?
Like what ?
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Marshall was in his second year of law school,
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so he was pretty good at thinking on his feet.
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Boogedyboo !
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And that's all of 'em.
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I'm gonna go... cook.
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I'm so happy for Marshall, I really am.
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I just couldn't imagine settling down right now.
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So, do you think you'll ever get married ?
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Well, maybe eventually...
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some fall day, possibly in Central Park.
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Simple ceremony.
We'll write our own vows.
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Band, no DJ.
People will dance !
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I'm not gonna worry about it !
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Damn it, why did Marshall have to get engaged ?
97
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Yeah, nothing hotter than a guy planning out his own imaginary wedding, huh ?
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- Actually, I think it's cute.
- Well, you're clearly drunk.
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One more for the lady !
100
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Oh, hey, look what I got.
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Oh, honey ! Champagne.
102
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Yeah.
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No. You are too old to be scared to open a bottle of champagne.
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- I'm not scared.
- Then open it.
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Fine.
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Please open it ?
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You are unbelievable, Marshall.
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There are two big questions a man has to ask in life.
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One, you plan out for months.
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The other just slips out when you're half drunk at some bar.
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Will you marry me ?
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You wanna go out sometime ?
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Of course, you idiot !
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I'm sorry, Carl's my boyfriend.
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'Sup, Carl ?
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I promised Ted we wouldn't do that.
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Did you know there's a Pop Tart under your fridge ?
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No, but dibs.
119
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Where's that champagne ?
120
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I wanna drink a toast with my fiancée.
121
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I don't know why I was so scared of this.
122
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It's pretty easy, right ?
123
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Why am I freaking out all of a sudden ?
124
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This is crazy.
I'm not ready to settle down.
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How does Carl land a Lebanese girl ?
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The plan has always been don't even think about it until you're 30.
127
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Exactly. The guy doesn't even own a suit.
128
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Plus, Marshall's found the love of his life.
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Even if I was ready, which I'm not...
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but if I was, it's, like, "Okay, I'm ready. Where is she ?"
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And there she was.
132
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It was like something from an old movie,
133
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where the sailor sees the girl across the crowded dance floor,
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turns to his buddy and says, "See that girl ?
135
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I'm gonna marry her someday."
136
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Hey, Barney, see that girl ?
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Oh, yeah. You just know she likes it dirty.
138
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Go say hi.
139
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I can't just go say hi.
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I need a plan.
141
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I'm gonna wait until she goes to the bathroom,
142
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then I'll strategically place myself by the jukebox...
143
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Hi, have you met Ted ?
144
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Let me guess... Ted.
145
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Sorry, Lilly.
I'm so sorry.
146
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- Take us to the hospital.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.
147
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Did you hit her ?
148
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Hit me ? Please !
149
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This guy can barely even spank me in bed for fun.
150
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He's all like, "Oh, honey. Did that hurt ?"
151
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And, I'm like, "Come on !
Let me have it, you pansy !"
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- Wow, a complete stranger.
- No, no, no, no ! It's okay.
153
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Go on.
154
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So, these, uh, spankings...
155
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you in pajamas or au naturel ?
156
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So, what do you do ?
157
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I'm a reporter for Metro News One.
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Well, kind of a reporter.
159
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I do those dumb little fluff pieces at the end of the news.
160
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You know, like, um...
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monkey who can play the ukulele.
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I'm hoping to get some bigger stories soon.
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Bigger, like, uh... gorilla with an upright bass ?
164
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Sorry. You're really pretty.
165
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Oh, your friends don't seem to happy.
166
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Yeah, see, the one in the middle just got dumped by her boyfriend.
167
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So, tonight, every guy is "the enemy."
168
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You know if it'll make your friend feel better,
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you could throw a drink in my face. I don't mind.
170
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She would love that !
171
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And it does look fun in the movies.
172
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Hey, you wanna have dinner with me Saturday night ?
173
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Oh, I can't.
174
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I'm going to Orlando for a week on Friday.
175
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Some guy's attempting to make the world's biggest pancake.
176
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Guess who's covering it ?
177
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That's gonna take a week ?
178
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Yeah, he's gonna eat it, too.
It's another record.
179
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Hey ! What's takin' so long ?
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Uh, I know this is a long shot, but how 'bout tomorrow night ?
181
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Yeah. What the hell ?
182
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Jerk !
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That was fun.
184
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De... wait for it... nied !
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Denied !
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We're goin' out tomorrow night.
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I thought we were playin' laser tag tomorrow night.
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Yeah, I was never gonna go play laser tag.
189
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The next night, I took her out to this little bistro in Brooklyn.
190
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That is one badass blue French horn.
191
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Yeah.
192
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Sort of looks like a Smurf penis.
193
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Son, a piece of advice :
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when you go on a first date, you really don't wanna say "Smurf penis."
195
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Girls don't ordinarily like that.
196
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But this was no ordinary girl.
197
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Lilly ?
198
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How long have you been sitting there ?
199
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Stupid eye patch.
200
00:09:12,986 --> 00:09:17,360
Mom, Dad, I have found the future Mrs. Ted Mosby.
201
00:09:17,360 --> 00:09:19,749
Marshall, how have I always described my perfect woman ?
202
00:09:19,749 --> 00:09:22,633
Now, let's see... she likes dogs ?
203
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I've got five dogs.
204
00:09:24,175 --> 00:09:25,110
She drinks scotch ?
205
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I love a scotch that's old enough to order its own scotch.
206
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Can quote obscure lines from Ghostbusters ?
207
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Ray ! When someone asks you if you're a god, you say "Yes !"
208
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And I'm saving the best for last.
209
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Do you want these ?
I hate olives.
210
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She hates olives ! Awesome !
211
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The olive theory.
212
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The olive theory is based on my friends Marshall and Lilly.
213
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He hates olives, she loves them.
214
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In a weird way, that's what makes them such a great couple.
215
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Perfect balance.
216
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You know, I've had a jar of olives just sitting in my fridge forever.
217
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I could take 'em off your hands.
218
00:10:01,941 --> 00:10:03,365
They're all yours.
219
00:10:03,761 --> 00:10:05,534
Oh, it is on !
220
00:10:05,534 --> 00:10:08,324
It is on till the break of dawn.
221
00:10:10,000 --> 00:10:10,835
But wait.
222
00:10:10,835 --> 00:10:13,480
It's only the break of 10:30.
What happened ?
223
00:10:14,436 --> 00:10:17,702
I gotta get one of those blue French horns for over my fireplace.
224
00:10:17,702 --> 00:10:19,550
It's gotta be blue.
It's gotta be French.
225
00:10:19,550 --> 00:10:20,867
- No green clarinet ?
- Nope.
226
00:10:20,867 --> 00:10:22,470
Come on. No purple tuba ?
227
00:10:22,470 --> 00:10:24,613
It's a Smurf penis or no dice.
228
00:10:25,941 --> 00:10:26,912
There you are !
229
00:10:26,912 --> 00:10:28,062
We got a jumper.
230
00:10:28,062 --> 00:10:30,066
Some crazy guy on the Manhattan Bridge.
231
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Come on. You're coverin' it !
232
00:10:32,200 --> 00:10:34,573
Um... all right.
I'll be right there.
233
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I'm sorry.
234
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I had a really great time tonight.
235
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Yeah.
236
00:10:42,167 --> 00:10:44,250
So ?! Did you kiss her ?
237
00:10:44,614 --> 00:10:46,522
No. The moment wasn't right.
238
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Look, this woman could actually be my future wife.
239
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I want our first kiss to be amazing.
240
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Aw, Ted, that is so sweet.
241
00:10:53,673 --> 00:10:55,837
So you chickened out like a little bitch.
242
00:10:57,590 --> 00:10:59,713
What ? I did not chicken out.
243
00:10:59,713 --> 00:11:00,376
You know what ?
244
00:11:00,376 --> 00:11:03,126
I don't need to take first kiss advice from some pirate
245
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who hasn't been single since the first week of college.
246
00:11:05,254 --> 00:11:07,945
Anyone who's single would tell you the same thing,
247
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even the dumbest single person alive.
248
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And if you don't believe me, call him.
249
00:11:14,933 --> 00:11:15,729
Hey, loser.
250
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How's not playing laser tag ?
251
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Because playing laser tag is awesome !
252
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- Oh, I killed you, Conner !
- Don't make me get your mom !
253
00:11:22,180 --> 00:11:24,350
Hey, listen.
I need your opinion on something.
254
00:11:24,350 --> 00:11:25,977
Okay, meet me at the bar in 15 minutes.
255
00:11:25,977 --> 00:11:27,109
And suit up !
256
00:11:28,450 --> 00:11:30,589
So, these guys think I chickened out.
257
00:11:30,589 --> 00:11:31,741
What do you think ?
258
00:11:31,741 --> 00:11:35,710
I can't believe you're still not wearing a suit.
259
00:11:36,831 --> 00:11:38,171
She didn't even give me the signal.
260
00:11:38,171 --> 00:11:41,157
What, is she gonna, she gonna bat her eyes ayou in Morse code ?
261
00:11:41,157 --> 00:11:46,363
"Ted... kiss me."
No ! You just kiss her !
262
00:11:46,363 --> 00:11:48,457
Not if you don't get the signal.
263
00:11:51,571 --> 00:11:53,269
Did Marshall give me the signal ?
264
00:11:53,269 --> 00:11:55,773
No ! I didn't. I swear.
265
00:11:57,711 --> 00:11:58,848
But, see, at least tonight,
266
00:11:58,848 --> 00:12:00,471
I get to sleep knowing Marshall and me,
267
00:12:00,471 --> 00:12:01,286
never gonna happen.
268
00:12:01,286 --> 00:12:02,613
You should have kissed her.
269
00:12:03,220 --> 00:12:04,737
Oh, I should have kissed her.
270
00:12:04,737 --> 00:12:06,927
Well, maybe in a week when she gets back from Orlando.
271
00:12:06,927 --> 00:12:09,292
A week ? That's like a year in hot girl time.
272
00:12:09,292 --> 00:12:10,560
She'll forget all about you.
273
00:12:10,560 --> 00:12:14,037
Mark my words... you will never see that one again.
274
00:12:14,517 --> 00:12:15,709
There she is.
275
00:12:15,709 --> 00:12:18,886
Ooh ! She's cute.
Hey, Carl, turn it up.
276
00:12:18,886 --> 00:12:20,938
...persuaded him to reconsider.
277
00:12:20,938 --> 00:12:23,092
At which point, the man came down off the ledge,
278
00:12:23,092 --> 00:12:26,109
giving this bizarre story a happy ending.
279
00:12:26,109 --> 00:12:28,650
- Reporting from Metro One News...
- Guy didn't jump.
280
00:12:30,365 --> 00:12:31,737
I'm gonna go kiss her.
281
00:12:32,122 --> 00:12:32,927
Right now.
282
00:12:32,927 --> 00:12:34,370
Look, dude.
It's midnight.
283
00:12:34,370 --> 00:12:38,287
As your future lawyer, I'm gonna advise you that's freakin' crazy.
284
00:12:38,287 --> 00:12:39,835
I never do anything crazy.
285
00:12:39,835 --> 00:12:42,486
I'm always waiting for the moment, planning the moment.
286
00:12:42,895 --> 00:12:43,921
Well, she's leaving tomorrow.
287
00:12:43,921 --> 00:12:45,484
This may be the only moment I'm gonna get.
288
00:12:46,084 --> 00:12:47,411
I gotta do what that guy couldn't.
289
00:12:47,411 --> 00:12:49,179
I gotta take the leap !
290
00:12:50,181 --> 00:12:51,460
Okay, not a perfect metaphor,
291
00:12:51,460 --> 00:12:53,028
'cause for me it's fall in love and get married,
292
00:12:53,028 --> 00:12:55,164
and for him it's... death.
293
00:12:56,117 --> 00:12:57,890
Actually, that is a perfect metaphor.
294
00:12:58,475 --> 00:13:00,677
By the way, did I congratulate you two ?
295
00:13:02,355 --> 00:13:03,885
I'm doing this.
296
00:13:04,220 --> 00:13:05,145
Let's go.
297
00:13:05,145 --> 00:13:06,980
- Word up.
- We're coming with you.
298
00:13:07,950 --> 00:13:08,868
Barney ?
299
00:13:10,320 --> 00:13:12,645
All right, but under one condition.
300
00:13:14,150 --> 00:13:16,839
Look at you, you beautiful bastard. You suited up !
301
00:13:16,839 --> 00:13:18,687
This is totally going in my blog !
302
00:13:19,988 --> 00:13:20,725
Stop the car.
303
00:13:20,725 --> 00:13:22,228
Uh, pull over right here.
304
00:13:23,750 --> 00:13:25,154
I gotta do something.
305
00:13:26,008 --> 00:13:28,091
Excuse me. Pardon me. Just a sec'.
306
00:13:28,571 --> 00:13:29,783
Enjoy your coffee.
307
00:13:32,066 --> 00:13:33,480
Go ! Go ! Go !
308
00:13:36,338 --> 00:13:38,267
Everybody brings flowers.
309
00:13:44,068 --> 00:13:45,150
Okay.
310
00:13:45,150 --> 00:13:46,403
Moment of truth.
311
00:13:47,373 --> 00:13:48,436
Wish me luck.
312
00:13:48,436 --> 00:13:51,371
Ted's gonna get it on with a TV reporter.
313
00:13:51,371 --> 00:13:53,930
"This just in." Okay.
314
00:13:57,069 --> 00:13:59,018
Kiss her, Ted !
Kiss her good !
315
00:13:59,018 --> 00:14:00,446
Kiss the crap outta that girl !
316
00:14:00,446 --> 00:14:02,666
Marshall, remember this night.
317
00:14:02,666 --> 00:14:04,931
When you're the best man at our wedding and you give a speech,
318
00:14:04,931 --> 00:14:07,135
you're gonna tell this story.
319
00:14:08,858 --> 00:14:10,622
Why does he get to be the best man ?
320
00:14:10,622 --> 00:14:12,766
I'm your best friend !
321
00:14:13,744 --> 00:14:17,362
As I walked up to that door, a million thoughts raced through my mind.
322
00:14:17,362 --> 00:14:19,947
Unfortunately, one particular thought did not.
323
00:14:19,947 --> 00:14:21,800
I've got five dogs.
324
00:14:23,900 --> 00:14:25,385
Not good. Not good.
325
00:14:25,385 --> 00:14:27,130
- No !
- Get back in there !
326
00:14:27,130 --> 00:14:28,824
You're wearing a suit !
327
00:14:32,242 --> 00:14:33,569
Ted ?
328
00:14:34,606 --> 00:14:35,507
Hi.
329
00:14:38,130 --> 00:14:39,584
I was just, uh...
330
00:14:43,800 --> 00:14:45,107
Come on up.
331
00:14:47,501 --> 00:14:48,353
He's in.
332
00:14:49,733 --> 00:14:50,745
So...
333
00:14:50,745 --> 00:14:54,052
Ranjit, you must have done it with a Lebanese girl ?
334
00:14:54,052 --> 00:14:56,386
Okay, that's my Barney limit.
335
00:14:56,386 --> 00:14:59,030
I'm gonna see if that bodega has a bathroom.
336
00:14:59,780 --> 00:15:02,776
Actually, I'm from Bangladesh.
337
00:15:02,776 --> 00:15:04,350
The women hot there ?
338
00:15:04,350 --> 00:15:06,783
Here's a picture of my wife.
339
00:15:08,849 --> 00:15:10,883
A simple "no" would have sufficed.
340
00:15:12,115 --> 00:15:13,583
She's lovely.
341
00:15:14,894 --> 00:15:19,758
So, Ted, what brings you back to Brooklyn at 1:00 in the morning in a suit ?
342
00:15:21,000 --> 00:15:22,980
I was just hoping to...
343
00:15:23,750 --> 00:15:25,218
get those olives...
344
00:15:25,689 --> 00:15:27,142
that you said I could have.
345
00:15:27,843 --> 00:15:30,329
Would you like those olives with some gin and vermouth ?
346
00:15:30,863 --> 00:15:32,956
Are you trying to get me drunk ?
347
00:15:37,092 --> 00:15:38,444
For starters.
348
00:15:46,092 --> 00:15:49,674
So, Marshall, this olive theory, based on you and Lilly ?
349
00:15:49,674 --> 00:15:51,302
You hate olives.
350
00:15:51,302 --> 00:15:53,326
Lilly loves 'em.
You can't stand 'em.
351
00:15:53,326 --> 00:15:54,738
Yeah. Hate olives.
352
00:15:54,738 --> 00:15:59,574
Two weeks ago, Spanish bar on 79th street, dish of olives, you had some... what up ?
353
00:16:03,000 --> 00:16:06,143
You have to swear that this does not leave this cab.
354
00:16:06,143 --> 00:16:08,236
- I swear.
- I swear.
355
00:16:10,229 --> 00:16:12,829
On our first date, I ordered a Greek salad.
356
00:16:12,829 --> 00:16:14,810
Lilly asked if she could have my olives.
357
00:16:14,810 --> 00:16:19,309
- I said, "Sure. I hate olives."
- But, you like olives.
358
00:16:19,309 --> 00:16:21,899
Well, I was 18, okay ?
I was a virgin.
359
00:16:21,899 --> 00:16:25,251
Been waitin' my whole life for a pretty girl to want my olives.
360
00:16:26,408 --> 00:16:28,973
Marshall, I'm gonna give you an early wedding present.
361
00:16:42,500 --> 00:16:44,689
I think I like your new French horn.
362
00:16:45,739 --> 00:16:47,637
I think I like your nose.
363
00:16:48,908 --> 00:16:50,932
I think I'm in love with you.
364
00:16:50,932 --> 00:16:53,758
What ?! What ?! What ?!
365
00:16:54,500 --> 00:16:56,300
Come on, man, you said your stomach's been hurting, right ?
366
00:16:56,300 --> 00:16:57,671
You know what that is.
367
00:16:57,671 --> 00:16:58,437
Hunger.
368
00:16:58,437 --> 00:17:00,361
You're hungry for experience.
369
00:17:00,361 --> 00:17:01,933
Hungry for something new.
370
00:17:01,933 --> 00:17:04,099
Hungry for olives.
371
00:17:04,538 --> 00:17:07,333
But you're too scared to do anything about it.
372
00:17:07,333 --> 00:17:09,266
Yeah, I'm scared, okay ?
373
00:17:10,858 --> 00:17:13,344
But, when I think of spending the rest of my life with Lilly...
374
00:17:13,954 --> 00:17:16,971
committing, forever, no other women...
375
00:17:17,571 --> 00:17:19,504
doesn't scare me at all.
376
00:17:20,256 --> 00:17:22,318
I'm marrying that girl.
377
00:17:23,782 --> 00:17:25,017
Lilly.
378
00:17:25,969 --> 00:17:27,754
Lilly, I like olives.
379
00:17:28,544 --> 00:17:30,357
We'll make it work.
380
00:17:42,622 --> 00:17:44,996
So, Orlando.
You gonna hit Disneyworld ?
381
00:17:46,700 --> 00:17:48,419
You love me ?!
382
00:17:49,129 --> 00:17:50,885
I-I-I can't believe I said that.
383
00:17:50,885 --> 00:17:53,451
Why did I say that ?
Who says that ?
384
00:17:53,991 --> 00:17:55,419
I should just go.
385
00:17:55,419 --> 00:17:56,616
Hold on.
386
00:17:56,616 --> 00:17:58,088
Wait a minute.
387
00:18:00,702 --> 00:18:01,983
Promised you these.
388
00:18:01,983 --> 00:18:05,104
Olives.
Thanks. I love you.
389
00:18:05,104 --> 00:18:07,175
What is wrong with me ?
390
00:18:08,992 --> 00:18:10,190
Why are we still sitting here ?
391
00:18:10,190 --> 00:18:11,891
Let's go. We can still make last call.
392
00:18:11,891 --> 00:18:12,789
What do you say, Lil ?
393
00:18:12,789 --> 00:18:15,440
Yo-ho-ho and a bottle of rum ?
394
00:18:17,982 --> 00:18:19,214
'Cause you're a pirate.
395
00:18:19,659 --> 00:18:21,613
Okay, eye patch, gone.
396
00:18:22,100 --> 00:18:24,440
And we can't just abandon Ted.
397
00:18:24,440 --> 00:18:27,296
If it doesn't go well up there, he's gonna need some support.
398
00:18:27,296 --> 00:18:29,183
It's been, like, 20 minutes.
399
00:18:29,183 --> 00:18:30,540
You think they're doin' it ?
400
00:18:30,540 --> 00:18:31,977
You think they're doin' it in front of the dogs ?
401
00:18:31,977 --> 00:18:33,340
Doggy style.
402
00:18:33,684 --> 00:18:35,803
Hey, there was a girl in college, she had this golden retriever...
403
00:18:35,803 --> 00:18:38,344
Okay, we can go to the bar.
Just stop talking.
404
00:18:38,344 --> 00:18:39,578
Hit it, Ranjit.
405
00:18:45,200 --> 00:18:47,071
So, when you tell this story to your friends,
406
00:18:47,071 --> 00:18:49,235
could you avoid the word "psycho ?"
407
00:18:49,620 --> 00:18:52,308
I'd prefer. "eccentric."
408
00:18:52,500 --> 00:18:54,919
Good night... psycho.
409
00:18:59,322 --> 00:19:00,099
Great.
410
00:19:00,099 --> 00:19:01,881
Um, how do I get to the F train ?
411
00:19:02,286 --> 00:19:06,410
Oh, um, two blocks that way and take a right.
412
00:19:09,800 --> 00:19:11,065
You know what ?
413
00:19:12,500 --> 00:19:14,210
I'm done being single.
414
00:19:14,679 --> 00:19:16,122
I'm not good at it.
415
00:19:16,122 --> 00:19:19,954
Look, obviously, you can't tell a woman you just met you love her.
416
00:19:19,954 --> 00:19:22,872
But... it sucks that you can't.
417
00:19:24,253 --> 00:19:25,180
I'll tell you something, though.
418
00:19:25,180 --> 00:19:29,104
If a woman... not you, just some hypothetical woman...
419
00:19:29,104 --> 00:19:30,967
were to bear with me through all this,
420
00:19:31,952 --> 00:19:33,610
I think I'd make a damn good husband.
421
00:19:33,610 --> 00:19:35,493
Because, that's the stuff I'd be good at,
422
00:19:35,493 --> 00:19:39,101
stuff like making her laugh and being a good father.
423
00:19:40,421 --> 00:19:42,677
And walking her five hypothetical dogs.
424
00:19:44,438 --> 00:19:45,795
Being a good kisser.
425
00:19:47,200 --> 00:19:48,930
Everyone thinks they're a good kisser.
426
00:19:48,930 --> 00:19:50,568
Oh, I've got references.
427
00:19:51,800 --> 00:19:52,949
Good night, Ted.
428
00:19:59,450 --> 00:20:01,799
And I'm a good handshaker.
429
00:20:01,799 --> 00:20:04,365
That's a pretty great handshake.
430
00:20:07,900 --> 00:20:09,105
And that was it.
431
00:20:09,105 --> 00:20:10,989
I'll probably never see her again.
432
00:20:13,800 --> 00:20:14,807
What ?
433
00:20:14,807 --> 00:20:16,047
That was the signal.
434
00:20:16,047 --> 00:20:19,952
That long, lingering handshake ?
You should have kissed her.
435
00:20:20,197 --> 00:20:22,249
There's no such thing as "the signal."
436
00:20:22,651 --> 00:20:24,564
But, yeah, that was the signal.
437
00:20:25,355 --> 00:20:26,607
Signal.
438
00:20:27,621 --> 00:20:29,174
Ah, Carl, thank you.
439
00:20:29,174 --> 00:20:31,143
Something I gotta do.
440
00:20:32,118 --> 00:20:34,683
By the way, you should have kissed her.
441
00:20:35,038 --> 00:20:37,182
Carl ! You guys weren't there.
442
00:20:38,900 --> 00:20:41,760
I am so turned on right now.
443
00:20:42,120 --> 00:20:43,423
Guys, trust me.
444
00:20:43,423 --> 00:20:44,894
I've seen the signal.
445
00:20:44,894 --> 00:20:46,573
That was not the signal.
446
00:20:46,573 --> 00:20:48,592
Yeah, Ted, we're not on you anymore.
447
00:20:49,843 --> 00:20:53,171
- To my fiancée.
- To the future.
448
00:20:53,171 --> 00:20:55,084
To one hell of a night !
449
00:20:58,301 --> 00:21:01,014
That was not the signal.
450
00:21:01,767 --> 00:21:03,435
I asked her about it years later.
451
00:21:03,435 --> 00:21:05,606
And, yeah, that was the signal.
452
00:21:05,606 --> 00:21:07,164
I could have kissed her.
453
00:21:07,164 --> 00:21:09,126
But that's the funny thing about destiny.
454
00:21:09,126 --> 00:21:11,250
It happens whether you plan it or not.
455
00:21:11,250 --> 00:21:13,224
I mean, I never thought I'd see that girl again,
456
00:21:13,224 --> 00:21:16,074
but it turns out I was just too close to the puzzle
457
00:21:16,074 --> 00:21:17,898
to see the picture that was forming.
458
00:21:17,898 --> 00:21:22,457
Because, that, kids, is the true story of how I met your Aunt Robin.
459
00:21:23,848 --> 00:21:25,180
Aunt Robin ?
460
00:21:25,180 --> 00:21:27,265
I thought this was how you met mom !
461
00:21:27,265 --> 00:21:29,397
Will you relax ?
I'm getting to it.
462
00:21:29,742 --> 00:21:33,619
Like I said, it's a long story.
33734
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