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1
00:01:00,361 --> 00:01:05,361
Uploaded by pukeman
oneddl.com
2
00:01:09,362 --> 00:01:10,739
In Leghorn or Poitiers?
3
00:01:11,030 --> 00:01:12,907
Leghorn, okay.
4
00:01:18,872 --> 00:01:20,957
Theoretically this afternoon.
5
00:01:25,128 --> 00:01:27,839
No, I found a low cost flight.
6
00:01:30,133 --> 00:01:31,676
What time's the hearing?
7
00:01:32,218 --> 00:01:33,261
Okay, Bernard.
8
00:01:33,720 --> 00:01:34,596
What?
9
00:01:35,305 --> 00:01:36,806
3 p.m. Okay, Bernard.
10
00:01:37,432 --> 00:01:38,391
What?
11
00:01:38,808 --> 00:01:39,809
Gilles.
12
00:01:40,226 --> 00:01:43,188
I'll let you go. I'm at my seat.
13
00:01:43,480 --> 00:01:44,481
Later.
14
00:01:48,777 --> 00:01:49,819
That won't go.
15
00:01:53,364 --> 00:01:54,741
See me? I'm here.
16
00:01:58,244 --> 00:01:58,912
What?
17
00:01:59,078 --> 00:02:00,622
You're in my seat.
18
00:02:01,581 --> 00:02:03,541
Isn't it free seating?
19
00:02:04,000 --> 00:02:07,712
Maybe, but that's my seat. 11 D.
In an Airbus A321, it's 1()B.
20
00:02:07,879 --> 00:02:10,965
But in a 737, it's 11D.
21
00:02:12,801 --> 00:02:13,676
Okay.
22
00:02:14,511 --> 00:02:16,596
Then I'll change seats.
23
00:02:16,763 --> 00:02:17,430
Right.
24
00:02:26,648 --> 00:02:28,107
It's just my feet.
25
00:02:47,001 --> 00:02:48,461
It's pretty cramped.
26
00:02:49,963 --> 00:02:51,422
Who put my bag here?
27
00:02:52,674 --> 00:02:53,800
I don't know.
28
00:03:03,726 --> 00:03:09,107
Ladies and gentlemen, we're unable
to control our music programming.
29
00:03:09,566 --> 00:03:10,525
We apologize
30
00:03:10,692 --> 00:03:12,652
for the inconvenience.
31
00:03:15,572 --> 00:03:16,865
You Vezenuelian?
32
00:03:18,408 --> 00:03:19,951
Awesome! Vale.
33
00:03:20,451 --> 00:03:22,412
That's where it's happening.
34
00:03:22,954 --> 00:03:23,955
Hang on.
35
00:03:24,122 --> 00:03:25,164
Gwen?
36
00:03:25,915 --> 00:03:28,084
He's asleep. My pal's a Breton.
37
00:03:28,251 --> 00:03:31,588
We're doing an audio-visual documentary.
38
00:03:31,754 --> 00:03:34,048
We wanted to do it in Vezeneula.
39
00:03:34,883 --> 00:03:36,426
But we didn't get funding.
40
00:03:36,676 --> 00:03:42,015
We filled in the application,
went to the post office and all that...
41
00:03:42,223 --> 00:03:43,182
What's it on?
42
00:03:43,349 --> 00:03:46,060
Everything that's going on right now.
43
00:03:46,227 --> 00:03:47,604
Meaning what?
44
00:03:47,896 --> 00:03:49,355
Meaning, in general.
45
00:03:49,647 --> 00:03:50,773
I have lice.
46
00:03:51,024 --> 00:03:54,485
We work in an anti-non-violent approach,
47
00:03:54,903 --> 00:03:58,239
and we're against junk food, too.
It's poison.
48
00:03:58,406 --> 00:04:00,366
As a Vezenuelian, you must know:
49
00:04:00,617 --> 00:04:04,495
Peaches, fruit in fact, frutos...
50
00:04:04,662 --> 00:04:06,289
There's fuzz on peaches,
51
00:04:06,456 --> 00:04:10,043
and pesticides stick to the fuzz.
52
00:04:10,209 --> 00:04:11,085
Pesticidas...
53
00:04:11,961 --> 00:04:15,548
If you eat peaches with the fuzz
you can catch menopause.
54
00:04:17,258 --> 00:04:18,384
Your attention,, please.
55
00:04:18,551 --> 00:04:23,139
Due to a slight seback,
takeoff is delayed by 15 minutes.
56
00:04:26,142 --> 00:04:29,103
Low costs are so punctual
in their delays.
57
00:04:29,896 --> 00:04:30,772
Pierre.
58
00:04:34,150 --> 00:04:35,109
I'm Frank.
59
00:04:38,821 --> 00:04:40,156
A drink, ma'am?
60
00:04:41,574 --> 00:04:42,867
A glass of water.
61
00:04:50,583 --> 00:04:53,044
- 2 euros, please.
- I don't get it.
62
00:04:54,045 --> 00:04:56,172
2 hours' delay, 2 euros?
63
00:04:56,381 --> 00:04:58,591
So a 10-hour delay is 10 euros?
64
00:04:59,801 --> 00:05:02,762
- Do you want your water?
- Keep your water.
65
00:05:03,179 --> 00:05:04,764
How should I know!
66
00:05:04,931 --> 00:05:07,600
- I'm thirsty!
- Not for 2 euros. Read!
67
00:05:08,601 --> 00:05:11,938
Everyone's thirsty.
No one's serving drinks.
68
00:05:12,689 --> 00:05:14,023
A beverage, sir?
69
00:05:14,190 --> 00:05:16,401
We've been waiting 2 hours!
70
00:05:16,567 --> 00:05:18,111
A beverage?
71
00:05:18,403 --> 00:05:19,487
Sir?
72
00:05:25,994 --> 00:05:28,287
Hear that sicko on his phone?
73
00:05:30,581 --> 00:05:32,291
He's not very discreet.
74
00:05:32,750 --> 00:05:34,961
It's the sort of thing that...
75
00:05:35,128 --> 00:05:36,879
Lower your voice up there!
76
00:05:37,380 --> 00:05:38,214
Stop, stop!
77
00:05:38,381 --> 00:05:39,590
Are you nuts?
78
00:05:39,757 --> 00:05:41,676
He's talking so loud.
79
00:05:41,843 --> 00:05:43,553
What are we, animals?
80
00:05:44,178 --> 00:05:46,681
- We're tourists, we pay...
- The phone!
81
00:05:54,188 --> 00:05:56,816
I'm such an idiot!
82
00:05:59,110 --> 00:06:00,236
He's a midget.
83
00:06:02,280 --> 00:06:03,156
What of it?
84
00:06:03,448 --> 00:06:06,117
He's a midget. The guy up there...
85
00:06:06,367 --> 00:06:07,452
He's a midget.
86
00:06:08,119 --> 00:06:08,911
So what?
87
00:06:09,370 --> 00:06:12,498
I can't tell a midget
to keep his voice down!
88
00:06:20,089 --> 00:06:21,549
Here. Relax.
89
00:06:22,550 --> 00:06:25,178
Think we'll take off soon?
I'll go nuts.
90
00:06:25,344 --> 00:06:27,263
I read you, Toufik.
91
00:06:29,891 --> 00:06:32,477
So terrorists have already taken over.
92
00:06:33,603 --> 00:06:37,190
I'm joking. This used to be my line.
93
00:06:39,150 --> 00:06:40,860
Not easy all this, is it?
94
00:06:42,612 --> 00:06:46,407
I know the problem.
I was an Air France pilot.
95
00:06:46,908 --> 00:06:48,284
35,000 hours of flying time.
96
00:06:48,451 --> 00:06:49,952
35,000 hours.
97
00:06:51,037 --> 00:06:52,705
On one of these, in fact.
98
00:06:59,629 --> 00:07:00,588
Relax.
99
00:07:01,464 --> 00:07:05,301
When they offered me pre-retirement,
I said yes.
100
00:07:05,635 --> 00:07:07,011
Better for family life.
101
00:07:07,303 --> 00:07:10,056
I'm single now, but it's still better.
102
00:07:12,642 --> 00:07:15,186
I mean, now...
103
00:07:16,104 --> 00:07:18,564
I've got it easy, now.
104
00:07:20,900 --> 00:07:22,026
Real easy.
105
00:07:24,070 --> 00:07:28,074
I'll let you go.
And as they say, Have a good flight.
106
00:07:36,165 --> 00:07:39,418
So you're Venezuelan. That's great.
107
00:07:40,503 --> 00:07:43,172
Funny, we meta really nice Mexican.
108
00:07:45,591 --> 00:07:47,593
His name is Jorge. Ring a bell?
109
00:07:47,760 --> 00:07:48,803
- No.
- It must.
110
00:07:49,512 --> 00:07:50,471
Right, honey?
111
00:07:51,597 --> 00:07:52,473
You okay?
112
00:07:53,224 --> 00:07:54,225
Yeah.
113
00:07:55,393 --> 00:07:56,519
I'm bored shitless.
114
00:08:01,065 --> 00:08:02,567
I should go apologize.
115
00:08:03,442 --> 00:08:04,735
Your midget, again?
116
00:08:04,902 --> 00:08:06,946
You nuts? He might hear us!
117
00:08:07,572 --> 00:08:09,240
Don't be ridiculous.
118
00:08:11,868 --> 00:08:13,661
Occupied!
119
00:08:28,676 --> 00:08:30,845
You're going to ask when we take off.
120
00:08:31,012 --> 00:08:33,306
Exactly. When do we take off?
121
00:08:33,472 --> 00:08:35,183
I don't know.
122
00:08:35,766 --> 00:08:37,101
Urgent business in Paris?
123
00:08:37,268 --> 00:08:39,437
A meeting with the management
124
00:08:39,604 --> 00:08:42,607
about restructuring.
So if I'm not there...
125
00:08:43,065 --> 00:08:44,901
- It's okay.
- I gotta be there or...
126
00:08:45,067 --> 00:08:47,653
Say your flight was delayed in Djerba.
127
00:08:47,820 --> 00:08:50,823
I'm not supposed to be in Djerba,
128
00:08:51,574 --> 00:08:53,951
but on assignment in the Paris suburbs.
129
00:08:54,243 --> 00:08:55,995
Not exactly next door.
130
00:08:59,707 --> 00:09:01,834
- It's so hot.
- What's your line?
131
00:09:02,251 --> 00:09:05,254
A real bore. Industrial espionage.
132
00:09:20,478 --> 00:09:21,520
Some water?
133
00:09:21,687 --> 00:09:22,939
Yes, please.
134
00:09:23,439 --> 00:09:24,482
It's so hot.
135
00:09:26,525 --> 00:09:27,985
It's due to the heat.
136
00:09:30,947 --> 00:09:31,948
Excuse me.
137
00:09:32,907 --> 00:09:36,494
I've been watching you for two hours,
and I wondered...
138
00:09:37,745 --> 00:09:39,705
Do you play Crapette?
139
00:09:43,334 --> 00:09:44,418
Crapette?
140
00:09:45,670 --> 00:09:46,754
The card game?
141
00:09:46,921 --> 00:09:48,297
Yeah, the card game.
142
00:09:48,464 --> 00:09:50,925
- Sure.
- Thank you, Lord!
143
00:09:57,765 --> 00:09:59,308
Face up or face down?
144
00:09:59,809 --> 00:10:00,935
Be right back.
145
00:10:03,688 --> 00:10:04,855
Damn, damn!
146
00:10:07,400 --> 00:10:11,279
Your attention please.
Due to problems with the tour operator,
147
00:10:11,821 --> 00:10:13,406
We are unable to take off
148
00:10:13,572 --> 00:10:17,326
Lobud Jet Airlines regrets
the inconvenience but is not at fault.
149
00:10:18,119 --> 00:10:20,830
The truth is, they're hiding the truth.
150
00:10:20,997 --> 00:10:21,789
Think so?
151
00:10:23,708 --> 00:10:25,376
What makes you think that?
152
00:10:25,584 --> 00:10:27,086
Did De Gaulle Exist?
153
00:10:42,518 --> 00:10:43,811
This is unheard of!
154
00:10:44,145 --> 00:10:46,605
This is disgraceful!
155
00:10:46,981 --> 00:10:49,525
We're made to wait for hours
156
00:10:49,692 --> 00:10:53,362
just to deplane and manage on our own!
At midnight!
157
00:10:54,238 --> 00:10:57,616
Who the hell do you think you are?
158
00:10:59,952 --> 00:11:01,495
Calm down.
159
00:11:02,747 --> 00:11:03,956
Calm down!
160
00:11:04,123 --> 00:11:07,293
Your tour operator went bust.
It's not our fault!
161
00:11:09,503 --> 00:11:12,882
But we paid! 90 euros. Per person!
162
00:11:13,049 --> 00:11:16,177
No, I paid 45 euros.
163
00:11:16,344 --> 00:11:17,178
What? How?
164
00:11:17,345 --> 00:11:21,015
I reserved 6 months ago,
no luggage and I paid cash.
165
00:11:21,307 --> 00:11:23,100
Please.
166
00:11:23,351 --> 00:11:24,769
We're all in the same boat.
167
00:11:25,227 --> 00:11:27,355
If I could take off, I would.
168
00:11:27,521 --> 00:11:28,272
Then do it!
169
00:11:28,814 --> 00:11:32,193
I have flight clearance. We've refueled.
170
00:11:32,360 --> 00:11:33,903
But your tour operator...
171
00:11:35,196 --> 00:11:37,239
Don't ram it up our ass!
172
00:11:37,406 --> 00:11:41,410
That might sound crude,
but we've had it up to here!
173
00:11:48,376 --> 00:11:49,460
What'd she say?
174
00:11:49,627 --> 00:11:51,379
I don't speak German.
175
00:11:55,508 --> 00:11:56,592
I get it.
176
00:11:59,303 --> 00:12:00,012
What?
177
00:12:01,639 --> 00:12:03,182
You're a psychopath.
178
00:12:03,933 --> 00:12:05,101
Why say that?
179
00:12:05,643 --> 00:12:08,813
You were all set
to disembowel that loudmouth,
180
00:12:08,979 --> 00:12:10,898
and now you're depressive.
181
00:12:11,357 --> 00:12:15,611
Earlier it was an impulse.
I can't control my impulses.
182
00:12:16,946 --> 00:12:19,198
I just can't stand shouting.
183
00:12:19,990 --> 00:12:22,618
For instance, if I were drowning,
184
00:12:23,411 --> 00:12:27,039
I wouldn't call the lifeguard,
so as not to bother him.
185
00:12:28,666 --> 00:12:30,709
Asking and shouting are beyond me.
186
00:12:32,086 --> 00:12:36,006
One thing makes me really blow a fuse:
187
00:12:36,715 --> 00:12:38,551
If someone honks at me,
188
00:12:38,843 --> 00:12:40,594
or steps on my toes.
189
00:12:43,597 --> 00:12:45,349
I'm afraid of rats, too.
190
00:12:46,142 --> 00:12:46,934
And mice.
191
00:12:50,062 --> 00:12:52,523
Hang on.
192
00:12:53,023 --> 00:12:54,191
Wait a second.
193
00:12:54,483 --> 00:12:56,444
Everyone's got to calm down.
194
00:12:59,280 --> 00:13:00,990
I'm an airline pilot.
195
00:13:01,198 --> 00:13:05,536
Not anymore,
but I know what I'm talking about.
196
00:13:06,162 --> 00:13:07,955
Lay off the FA.
197
00:13:08,164 --> 00:13:09,540
What's the FA?
198
00:13:11,208 --> 00:13:14,753
FA, flight attendants. The crew.
199
00:13:15,171 --> 00:13:17,089
Stop jerking us around!
200
00:13:20,634 --> 00:13:22,386
Ladies and gentlemen,
201
00:13:23,095 --> 00:13:24,889
I have good news!
202
00:13:27,016 --> 00:13:31,061
As compensation,
we're offering you mint tea.
203
00:13:41,030 --> 00:13:42,823
Enough of this shit!
204
00:13:42,990 --> 00:13:45,284
We've been in this snafu
for 7 hours now!
205
00:13:45,451 --> 00:13:48,787
So tell the company,
either they pay our way back,
206
00:13:48,954 --> 00:13:52,082
or we occupy the plane!
Is that clear?
207
00:13:59,256 --> 00:14:00,341
What're you doing?
208
00:14:01,175 --> 00:14:02,968
Applauding, isn't it obvious?
209
00:14:03,636 --> 00:14:06,096
A sign of approval. Don't know it?
210
00:14:06,263 --> 00:14:08,224
We'll settle this when we arrive.
211
00:14:12,811 --> 00:14:16,357
Listen. The authorities
are preventing us,
212
00:14:16,524 --> 00:14:18,817
both in terms of their offer
213
00:14:18,984 --> 00:14:21,403
and the dialog with the passengers,
214
00:14:21,862 --> 00:14:23,322
from returning home.
215
00:14:23,656 --> 00:14:25,449
So, we vote!
216
00:14:26,200 --> 00:14:28,953
Who is for requisitioning the plane?
217
00:14:30,746 --> 00:14:31,789
Who's against?
218
00:14:34,750 --> 00:14:36,710
Who's for and against?
219
00:14:38,254 --> 00:14:40,297
Requisitioning approved!
220
00:14:48,013 --> 00:14:49,139
There we are.
221
00:14:49,807 --> 00:14:51,183
See that?
222
00:14:52,101 --> 00:14:54,645
Of course you didn't see anything.
223
00:14:54,812 --> 00:14:57,731
In a flash,
the plane came under their control.
224
00:14:58,107 --> 00:14:59,024
Nicely done.
225
00:14:59,191 --> 00:15:00,234
All together, now!
226
00:15:01,777 --> 00:15:03,279
We're the best!
227
00:15:05,114 --> 00:15:06,991
And we're not leaving the plane.
228
00:15:11,829 --> 00:15:12,955
We're good guys!
229
00:15:14,873 --> 00:15:16,792
We're good and sane!
230
00:15:18,210 --> 00:15:20,004
We'll confiscate the plane!
231
00:15:31,515 --> 00:15:33,475
- You all right, Guy?
- Jeez!
232
00:15:34,143 --> 00:15:35,561
You know what, Maude?
233
00:15:35,894 --> 00:15:37,855
I always wanted to be a leftist.
234
00:15:39,023 --> 00:15:39,982
I win!
235
00:15:43,110 --> 00:15:44,236
It's my lucky day!
236
00:15:44,403 --> 00:15:46,113
Not going to intervene?
237
00:15:46,405 --> 00:15:48,073
No, I'm still on vacation.
238
00:15:48,616 --> 00:15:52,745
They can beat each other to a pulp,
it's not my problem.
239
00:15:52,911 --> 00:15:54,413
No way.
240
00:15:54,747 --> 00:15:55,789
Honestly?
241
00:15:56,248 --> 00:15:57,207
You bet.
242
00:16:07,926 --> 00:16:09,720
What's this about confiscation?
243
00:16:12,681 --> 00:16:14,892
What're you going to do now?
244
00:16:15,059 --> 00:16:17,019
Stay on the plane? Then what?
245
00:16:17,186 --> 00:16:19,480
You'll get off in the end.
246
00:16:24,276 --> 00:16:25,694
Not if we take off.
247
00:16:25,986 --> 00:16:28,822
You know how to fly a 737?
248
00:16:29,573 --> 00:16:30,783
I don't.
249
00:16:31,283 --> 00:16:32,326
He does.
250
00:16:37,623 --> 00:16:38,457
What?
251
00:16:43,379 --> 00:16:47,174
Sure, I know this plane.
252
00:16:47,341 --> 00:16:49,176
Especially this one...
253
00:16:49,718 --> 00:16:51,804
I've flown 35,000 hours on it.
254
00:16:52,638 --> 00:16:53,764
35,000 hours.
255
00:16:55,391 --> 00:16:59,019
Up at dawn,
with my little thermos of coffee.
256
00:16:59,895 --> 00:17:02,064
The smell of jet fuel in the morning.
257
00:17:04,066 --> 00:17:06,110
But you can't do that.
258
00:17:08,445 --> 00:17:11,615
If it were up to me,
I'd take you home.
259
00:17:13,367 --> 00:17:14,660
That I can do.
260
00:17:20,666 --> 00:17:22,334
How long have we been stuck here?
261
00:17:22,710 --> 00:17:23,752
7 hours.
262
00:17:24,169 --> 00:17:25,838
7 hours and 10 minutes.
263
00:17:26,213 --> 00:17:27,256
Captain.
264
00:17:28,590 --> 00:17:29,466
Come on.
265
00:17:33,762 --> 00:17:35,055
Damn you.
266
00:17:43,731 --> 00:17:48,610
Sure! He's a pilot.
He takes the controls and we take off?
267
00:17:49,611 --> 00:17:51,530
Children, you're ridiculous.
268
00:18:01,039 --> 00:18:02,416
What'll happen now?
269
00:18:03,500 --> 00:18:05,210
In all likelihood,
270
00:18:06,128 --> 00:18:08,839
within 2 hours they'll slit our throats.
271
00:18:09,923 --> 00:18:11,091
We know too much.
272
00:18:12,217 --> 00:18:14,219
Then they'll throw us to the rats.
273
00:18:14,386 --> 00:18:15,429
The rats?
274
00:18:15,929 --> 00:18:16,805
Yes,
275
00:18:18,390 --> 00:18:19,475
the rats.
276
00:18:21,143 --> 00:18:23,061
Like when Giscard died.
277
00:18:28,650 --> 00:18:30,027
Giscard's not dead.
278
00:18:30,527 --> 00:18:31,403
Sure.
279
00:18:32,529 --> 00:18:34,198
That's what they say.
280
00:19:13,403 --> 00:19:14,530
Captain.
281
00:19:16,198 --> 00:19:18,075
Check APU, check.
282
00:19:18,242 --> 00:19:21,787
Speed, check.
283
00:19:23,038 --> 00:19:24,832
Check... Check...
284
00:19:27,960 --> 00:19:31,630
You sickos are outta your minds!
I'm saving my neck.
285
00:19:31,797 --> 00:19:33,340
Thank you.
286
00:19:33,507 --> 00:19:35,259
Thank you for coming.
287
00:19:36,510 --> 00:19:38,720
Where you going? You stay here.
288
00:19:38,887 --> 00:19:40,347
The captain may need you.
289
00:19:40,514 --> 00:19:42,224
I'm the captain.
290
00:19:42,391 --> 00:19:43,267
You used to be.
291
00:19:45,185 --> 00:19:48,313
After a retired pilot,
care for an ex-stewardess?
292
00:19:49,940 --> 00:19:51,817
That depends. What for?
293
00:19:53,026 --> 00:19:53,861
I don't get it.
294
00:19:55,320 --> 00:19:57,573
That's not what I meant.
295
00:19:57,739 --> 00:19:59,408
Do as you like. I'm going.
296
00:20:00,951 --> 00:20:02,452
Word has it that...
297
00:20:09,960 --> 00:20:11,879
That was low.
298
00:20:17,050 --> 00:20:18,635
This is madness.
299
00:20:23,932 --> 00:20:25,726
Clearance for takeoff, Inch'Allah.
300
00:20:25,893 --> 00:20:27,936
All clear for takeoff.
301
00:20:28,770 --> 00:20:32,941
Copy Ronan, Via, Alpha, Bravo...
Calling 02.
302
00:20:33,108 --> 00:20:34,276
Have a good flight.
303
00:20:35,319 --> 00:20:36,236
Good job.
304
00:20:36,820 --> 00:20:41,033
Now follow our new steward to your seat.
We'll soon take off.
305
00:20:46,121 --> 00:20:48,832
Captain Jean-Claude Bordier speaking.
306
00:20:48,999 --> 00:20:53,962
Please fasten your seat belts.
We're about to fly to Paris-Beauvais.
307
00:20:54,212 --> 00:20:58,258
Thank you for choosing me.
I hope you enjoy the flight.
308
00:20:58,425 --> 00:21:00,594
Cabin crew, prepare for takeoff.
309
00:21:48,850 --> 00:21:49,685
You little slut...
310
00:21:50,686 --> 00:21:52,938
Positive VSI, suck it in, honey.
311
00:21:53,105 --> 00:21:54,022
Suck it in.
312
00:21:58,402 --> 00:22:00,404
This is madness.
313
00:22:01,071 --> 00:22:02,489
It feels so good.
314
00:22:03,073 --> 00:22:04,825
You little slut!
315
00:22:12,416 --> 00:22:13,667
This feels good.
316
00:22:13,834 --> 00:22:14,793
You little slut.
317
00:22:16,920 --> 00:22:18,505
Missed you.
318
00:22:19,923 --> 00:22:20,549
Shit, the mike!
319
00:22:27,848 --> 00:22:29,057
Avocado-curry burrito?
320
00:22:30,350 --> 00:22:31,601
Gladly.
321
00:22:34,271 --> 00:22:35,814
A refreshment?
322
00:22:36,815 --> 00:22:37,691
Champagne.
323
00:22:37,899 --> 00:22:39,026
Sparkling wine.
324
00:22:40,235 --> 00:22:41,528
No thanks.
325
00:22:43,321 --> 00:22:44,740
Nothing. I'm a little...
326
00:22:48,869 --> 00:22:49,995
This is the life!
327
00:23:13,310 --> 00:23:15,520
Learning your book by heart?
328
00:23:18,690 --> 00:23:19,983
I'm learning Arabic.
329
00:23:20,776 --> 00:23:22,527
It's a fabulous language.
330
00:23:23,320 --> 00:23:26,782
It's full of useful phrases.
331
00:23:26,948 --> 00:23:28,700
Like, if I told you...
332
00:23:33,371 --> 00:23:34,498
Isn't that nice?
333
00:23:35,499 --> 00:23:37,751
It means, "How much is a liter of oil?"
334
00:23:37,918 --> 00:23:39,294
It can come in handy.
335
00:23:42,506 --> 00:23:44,091
What'll you do now?
336
00:23:46,510 --> 00:23:49,679
Like you, go home to Paris,
look for a job.
337
00:23:50,097 --> 00:23:52,641
Are there many jobless spies?
338
00:23:53,850 --> 00:23:55,769
Who told you I was a spy?
339
00:23:58,605 --> 00:23:59,564
You did.
340
00:24:00,398 --> 00:24:01,483
Oh, right.
341
00:24:01,817 --> 00:24:03,610
It's industrial espionage.
342
00:24:03,777 --> 00:24:04,653
I see.
343
00:24:04,820 --> 00:24:06,655
Not very glamorous.
344
00:24:06,905 --> 00:24:09,950
I steal household appliance patents.
345
00:24:10,158 --> 00:24:11,618
Far from James Bond.
346
00:24:13,370 --> 00:24:16,123
Aren't spies supposed to be low key?
347
00:24:16,790 --> 00:24:20,293
Did you invent a waffle iron
that doesn't drip?
348
00:24:21,837 --> 00:24:23,755
No need to be low key with you.
349
00:24:47,737 --> 00:24:48,655
You okay?
350
00:24:51,199 --> 00:24:55,120
I teach high school geography
in SablA�-sur-Sarthe.
351
00:24:55,287 --> 00:24:58,039
I feel sort of out of place.
352
00:24:58,206 --> 00:25:02,878
Relax. Just hold the chart
and jot down a few things. It'll be fine.
353
00:25:04,504 --> 00:25:06,173
SablA�-sur-Sarthe.
354
00:25:13,680 --> 00:25:15,056
Can I ask you a favor?
355
00:25:18,310 --> 00:25:20,770
If you don't mind?
356
00:25:24,024 --> 00:25:25,942
Your attention,, please.
357
00:25:28,820 --> 00:25:32,991
In an emergency,
there is a life vest under your seat.
358
00:25:33,825 --> 00:25:38,830
Emergency exits are located forward,
in the center and aft.
359
00:25:39,581 --> 00:25:44,044
Floor-level lighting will guide you
towards these exits.
360
00:25:44,211 --> 00:25:49,090
Seatbelts are buckled,
adjusted and unbuckled like this.
361
00:25:50,300 --> 00:25:52,093
In the event of cabin decompression,
362
00:25:52,260 --> 00:25:55,931
an oxygen mask will automatically
appear in front of you.
363
00:25:56,389 --> 00:25:59,351
Pull the mask towards you,
, place it over your face
364
00:25:59,517 --> 00:26:01,311
and breathe normally.
365
00:26:02,103 --> 00:26:07,525
Necessary remove the life vest
from under your seat and slip it on.
366
00:26:07,692 --> 00:26:09,903
Buckle the strap and adjust it
367
00:26:10,737 --> 00:26:14,824
Inflate the vest once outside the aircraft
by pulling on the red cord
368
00:26:15,325 --> 00:26:20,080
The whistle attached to the vest
can be used as a distress signal.
369
00:26:22,707 --> 00:26:26,127
In the event of an emergency landing,
move to toward the exits.
370
00:26:26,294 --> 00:26:28,463
The crew is now pointing to.
371
00:26:28,630 --> 00:26:29,923
Move toward the exit
372
00:26:30,548 --> 00:26:32,300
without rushing
373
00:26:32,842 --> 00:26:35,679
and slide down the emergency slide.
374
00:26:36,263 --> 00:26:37,806
Thank you for your attention.
375
00:26:45,105 --> 00:26:48,566
Maybe the guy's a phony.
Maybe he's never flown.
376
00:26:48,942 --> 00:26:51,778
Too late now! Gotta deal with it.
377
00:26:52,320 --> 00:26:53,780
You're the boss now, chief.
378
00:26:55,490 --> 00:26:56,700
Say that again?
379
00:26:57,325 --> 00:26:58,201
What?
380
00:26:58,368 --> 00:26:59,995
"The boss now, chief." I like that.
381
00:27:13,174 --> 00:27:14,259
Excuse me.
382
00:27:15,302 --> 00:27:16,511
Excuse me.
383
00:27:18,847 --> 00:27:21,391
Mind if we switch seats?
384
00:27:23,643 --> 00:27:24,602
Why?
385
00:27:24,769 --> 00:27:27,856
Mine's broken,
so I'd rather you have it.
386
00:27:36,948 --> 00:27:39,993
But you told the young man
11 D was your seat.
387
00:27:40,618 --> 00:27:43,663
But when it's broken, I prefer 11E.
388
00:27:43,997 --> 00:27:45,498
But it's my seat.
389
00:27:53,131 --> 00:27:54,841
I'm going to take a micro nap.
390
00:27:55,467 --> 00:27:57,969
If I sleep more than 4 minutes, wake me.
391
00:28:00,472 --> 00:28:02,098
My travel poncho.
392
00:28:03,099 --> 00:28:04,559
No more than 4 minutes.
393
00:28:05,310 --> 00:28:09,647
To prevent jet-lag,
you have to microsleep.
394
00:28:09,814 --> 00:28:11,483
Essential for me.
395
00:28:12,317 --> 00:28:15,195
There's only a one-hour difference
with France.
396
00:28:15,737 --> 00:28:18,865
I can't hear you. I'm wearing earplugs.
397
00:28:29,376 --> 00:28:31,002
What's your name?
398
00:28:31,294 --> 00:28:32,545
Nuance.
399
00:28:33,421 --> 00:28:34,881
That's not a name.
400
00:28:35,590 --> 00:28:36,925
You're right.
401
00:28:38,259 --> 00:28:39,844
Any other ideas?
402
00:28:40,220 --> 00:28:41,554
I don't know.
403
00:28:46,142 --> 00:28:47,644
I like Marie-Pierre.
404
00:28:48,144 --> 00:28:49,354
Marie-Pierre's not bad.
405
00:28:49,521 --> 00:28:52,357
Yes, Marie-Pierre's nice, like you.
406
00:28:56,319 --> 00:28:58,154
- What's yours?
- Dagobert.
407
00:28:58,655 --> 00:29:00,115
I should have known.
408
00:29:05,495 --> 00:29:06,663
Hear that?
409
00:29:06,955 --> 00:29:07,831
What?
410
00:29:08,415 --> 00:29:11,584
That sound, from headphones.
Hear it?
411
00:29:11,876 --> 00:29:13,044
It doesn't bother me.
412
00:29:13,211 --> 00:29:15,046
It bothers me. Drives me nuts.
413
00:29:15,922 --> 00:29:17,757
Up there. Be right back.
414
00:29:25,265 --> 00:29:26,057
Could you...
415
00:29:26,516 --> 00:29:27,350
What?
416
00:29:27,517 --> 00:29:30,770
Could you turn that off?
We hear it back there.
417
00:29:31,271 --> 00:29:34,232
Sorry. I'll turn it off, then.
418
00:29:34,399 --> 00:29:35,567
Thanks.
419
00:29:37,444 --> 00:29:39,404
There. Thanks a lot.
420
00:29:45,243 --> 00:29:46,369
What about him?
421
00:29:46,870 --> 00:29:50,457
He's a midget. You understand?
I can't say anything.
422
00:29:56,045 --> 00:29:58,798
What an idiot I am!
423
00:29:58,965 --> 00:30:01,384
Lucky he had his headphones on.
424
00:30:02,051 --> 00:30:04,804
Aren't you overdoing it a little?
425
00:30:23,323 --> 00:30:24,574
- Occupied!
- Sorry.
426
00:30:32,582 --> 00:30:34,751
I've been having weird dreams.
427
00:30:54,103 --> 00:30:55,021
Hi.
428
00:31:00,068 --> 00:31:01,277
Where are you going?
429
00:31:01,444 --> 00:31:03,071
- To the toilet.
- Sit down.
430
00:31:08,117 --> 00:31:10,662
What d'you expect me to do with that?
431
00:31:14,040 --> 00:31:16,751
2 minutes, or I break down the door.
432
00:31:16,960 --> 00:31:17,919
- Thanks.
- Don't mention it.
433
00:31:22,090 --> 00:31:23,258
Excuse me.
434
00:31:25,593 --> 00:31:27,554
- What?
- Wake up.
435
00:31:27,762 --> 00:31:28,638
4 minutes is up.
436
00:31:28,805 --> 00:31:30,765
Are you nuts? I was sleeping.
437
00:31:31,182 --> 00:31:31,975
Yeah, but you...
438
00:31:33,101 --> 00:31:35,353
You jerk! For chrissakes.
439
00:31:39,857 --> 00:31:40,817
You outta your mind?
440
00:31:41,192 --> 00:31:42,402
She has lice!
441
00:31:42,986 --> 00:31:43,987
You okay?
442
00:31:45,321 --> 00:31:46,781
An air pocket.
443
00:31:47,615 --> 00:31:51,536
An air current that makes planes
suddenly lose altitude.
444
00:31:52,662 --> 00:31:54,956
- Are you all right?
- Not at all.
445
00:31:55,707 --> 00:31:58,793
So, it's northwest, 347°.
446
00:31:59,252 --> 00:32:00,837
Northwest...
447
00:32:05,842 --> 00:32:07,176
- Can I help you?
- Wait a sec.
448
00:32:08,845 --> 00:32:12,849
The weather's bad.
They're routing us to fox-kilo-fox,
449
00:32:13,016 --> 00:32:15,435
i.e. Figari-South Corsica.
450
00:32:15,643 --> 00:32:17,103
I know, thanks.
451
00:32:17,270 --> 00:32:20,148
But there's no shame in it.
If you need anything...
452
00:32:20,315 --> 00:32:24,527
Sure, no problem. I'll let you know.
Follow your steward.
453
00:32:27,739 --> 00:32:29,157
Come on, you rascal.
454
00:32:29,949 --> 00:32:31,492
300... 300...
455
00:32:31,784 --> 00:32:32,869
327°...
456
00:32:34,454 --> 00:32:35,413
Check.
457
00:32:39,667 --> 00:32:41,294
SablA�-sur-Sarthe...
458
00:32:50,970 --> 00:32:52,138
CompiA�gne.
459
00:32:52,305 --> 00:32:53,222
Can I help?
460
00:32:53,431 --> 00:32:55,224
No, I'm fine. Why?
461
00:32:56,601 --> 00:32:58,394
- Because. Actually...
- Because why?
462
00:32:58,895 --> 00:33:00,021
Because why?
463
00:33:00,521 --> 00:33:02,190
Because I'm little?
464
00:33:03,816 --> 00:33:05,401
No, not at all.
465
00:33:06,152 --> 00:33:09,072
Funny, I hadn't even noticed.
466
00:33:09,322 --> 00:33:12,492
That's not it at all.
I just like to help out.
467
00:33:13,368 --> 00:33:16,788
That's how I am. It's my nature.
Altruistic.
468
00:33:17,330 --> 00:33:21,751
My parents were altruistic very young
and I turned out that way.
469
00:33:21,918 --> 00:33:23,419
I'll go sit down.
470
00:33:25,380 --> 00:33:26,964
The little man!
471
00:33:28,299 --> 00:33:29,425
Man, oh man...
472
00:33:29,759 --> 00:33:34,681
Man... so much turbulence!
473
00:33:34,889 --> 00:33:36,224
Without warning!
474
00:33:39,644 --> 00:33:40,978
You okay, sir?
475
00:33:42,188 --> 00:33:43,690
Gotta sleep.
476
00:33:50,488 --> 00:33:52,865
Sorry,
you went "SablA�-sur-Sarthe, humpf."
477
00:33:53,032 --> 00:33:54,075
Like that.
478
00:33:54,367 --> 00:33:55,827
I didn't go "SablA�-sur-Sarthe, humpf."
479
00:33:56,577 --> 00:33:58,538
I went "SablA�-sur-Sarthe."
480
00:34:00,998 --> 00:34:02,667
You just did it again.
481
00:34:02,834 --> 00:34:04,377
- I did not.
- Yes, you did!
482
00:34:05,628 --> 00:34:06,879
Ladies and gentlemen,
483
00:34:07,046 --> 00:34:10,133
Captain Bordier speaking.
Please fasten your seatbelts.
484
00:34:10,299 --> 00:34:12,635
The Weather is forcing us
485
00:34:12,802 --> 00:34:15,054
to land in Figari-South Corsica.
486
00:34:18,182 --> 00:34:19,767
Your hand, it'll comfort me.
487
00:34:31,487 --> 00:34:32,488
This is great.
488
00:34:32,989 --> 00:34:36,743
Ladies and gentlemen, Captain Bordier
speaking. Welcome to France.
489
00:34:40,747 --> 00:34:41,581
Boss!
490
00:34:42,165 --> 00:34:43,416
We've arrived.
491
00:34:45,126 --> 00:34:46,878
- Not taking off your mask?
- Sure.
492
00:34:58,514 --> 00:35:00,391
- He's crying.
- I am not.
493
00:35:00,558 --> 00:35:01,392
You are.
494
00:35:04,395 --> 00:35:05,521
You sure are.
495
00:35:05,938 --> 00:35:08,107
It happens
when I think I'm going to die.
496
00:35:09,525 --> 00:35:11,486
That's not bosslike, boss.
497
00:35:16,073 --> 00:35:17,200
Did I sleep long?
498
00:35:18,034 --> 00:35:20,077
Yes. I tried to wake you.
499
00:35:21,412 --> 00:35:22,622
Why didn't you wake me?
500
00:35:25,416 --> 00:35:28,211
This is ridiculous.
I told you to wake me in 4 minutes.
501
00:35:28,711 --> 00:35:30,922
It's been 45 minutes. Explain that.
502
00:35:33,216 --> 00:35:34,592
This is ridiculous.
503
00:35:43,100 --> 00:35:46,687
We've arrived.
It was no use getting paranoid.
504
00:35:52,568 --> 00:35:54,821
We've landed,
but we haven't arrived.
505
00:36:06,415 --> 00:36:08,084
The sun makes me sneeze.
506
00:36:08,459 --> 00:36:10,586
Thanks. That cooled me off.
507
00:36:12,296 --> 00:36:13,965
They have camels in Corsica?
508
00:36:26,102 --> 00:36:27,228
Holy shit.
509
00:36:30,439 --> 00:36:33,276
Those Corsicans are such jokers.
510
00:36:34,902 --> 00:36:37,196
I'm warning you:
511
00:36:37,822 --> 00:36:39,365
I'm out of burritos.
512
00:36:39,740 --> 00:36:42,952
I plugged in the Figari-South Corsica
coordinates.
513
00:36:44,245 --> 00:36:46,080
Way, way south.
514
00:36:48,207 --> 00:36:49,375
What's going on?
515
00:36:49,542 --> 00:36:50,668
I don't know.
516
00:36:51,002 --> 00:36:52,044
I don't get it.
517
00:36:52,211 --> 00:36:53,671
That's a shame.
518
00:36:56,424 --> 00:36:57,633
Where are we?
519
00:36:58,009 --> 00:36:59,260
I don't know.
520
00:36:59,594 --> 00:37:00,720
I don't get it.
521
00:37:00,928 --> 00:37:02,013
That's a shame.
522
00:37:02,847 --> 00:37:04,015
I don't get it.
523
00:37:05,141 --> 00:37:06,475
Anyway,
524
00:37:08,102 --> 00:37:09,979
by my estimate...
525
00:37:11,606 --> 00:37:13,065
I don't know where we are.
526
00:37:14,317 --> 00:37:15,443
What's your name?
527
00:37:15,735 --> 00:37:16,652
Jean-Claude.
528
00:37:16,903 --> 00:37:18,362
Why not take off again?
529
00:37:19,780 --> 00:37:21,032
Well, it's because...
530
00:37:22,658 --> 00:37:26,203
there are these sorts of... camels...
531
00:37:27,788 --> 00:37:31,125
tanks, blocking the way,
and the runway.
532
00:37:32,001 --> 00:37:33,544
Camels or tanks?
533
00:37:34,295 --> 00:37:35,296
Both.
534
00:37:36,130 --> 00:37:38,925
With another copilot,
we wouldn't be here.
535
00:37:39,800 --> 00:37:42,178
Hang on a second.
536
00:37:42,720 --> 00:37:44,347
To err is human. He's human.
537
00:37:44,513 --> 00:37:45,681
He's an error.
538
00:37:46,057 --> 00:37:48,643
Hang on. We need to find a solution.
539
00:37:48,809 --> 00:37:50,937
The point isn't how we got here.
540
00:37:51,103 --> 00:37:54,273
Even if we know who had
the dumb idea to steal a plane.
541
00:37:54,523 --> 00:37:56,233
Hang on a second!
542
00:37:56,567 --> 00:37:58,653
You all agreed.
543
00:38:00,488 --> 00:38:01,697
Are you kidding?
544
00:38:01,864 --> 00:38:03,115
You all applauded me.
545
00:38:04,992 --> 00:38:07,244
That doesn't mean we agreed.
546
00:38:07,870 --> 00:38:09,163
Excuse me.
547
00:38:10,373 --> 00:38:12,041
There's a crowd out there.
548
00:38:12,625 --> 00:38:13,709
A big one?
549
00:38:14,502 --> 00:38:15,211
Yes.
550
00:38:15,378 --> 00:38:16,504
Dangerous?
551
00:38:17,505 --> 00:38:18,214
Yes.
552
00:38:18,965 --> 00:38:20,675
Pull the shades down.
553
00:38:21,217 --> 00:38:23,469
Show them you've got balls!
554
00:38:24,512 --> 00:38:27,306
Just relax.
Dangerous, how? What'd they do?
555
00:38:29,225 --> 00:38:31,852
Foreign equals savage? How trite!
556
00:38:32,019 --> 00:38:32,937
Nice going.
557
00:38:33,771 --> 00:38:37,358
Violence ain't always
where you think it is.
558
00:38:37,858 --> 00:38:39,735
You're creating the danger.
559
00:38:40,194 --> 00:38:42,488
They can sense we're afraid.
560
00:38:42,947 --> 00:38:44,323
- What awful grammar!
- You said it!
561
00:38:44,490 --> 00:38:45,741
Let's go talk to them.
562
00:38:45,908 --> 00:38:47,702
Human is our native tongue.
563
00:38:48,619 --> 00:38:50,579
Are you sure you?
564
00:38:50,830 --> 00:38:51,914
Gwen, come on.
565
00:39:07,013 --> 00:39:08,806
- She's American.
- I think so.
566
00:39:14,645 --> 00:39:16,897
Shut the door!
567
00:39:17,815 --> 00:39:19,650
- What's your name?
- Move back!
568
00:39:19,859 --> 00:39:21,652
- What's your name?
- Jean-Claude.
569
00:39:21,819 --> 00:39:23,320
Shut the door, Jean-Claude.
570
00:39:23,612 --> 00:39:25,281
Give him a hand!
571
00:39:27,116 --> 00:39:28,034
Shut the door!
572
00:39:31,662 --> 00:39:32,872
Help me!
573
00:39:33,039 --> 00:39:34,415
- Jean-Claude!
- Help me!
574
00:39:34,707 --> 00:39:35,875
They shot at us!
575
00:39:41,088 --> 00:39:43,591
Starboard, everyone!
576
00:39:47,261 --> 00:39:48,512
MY leg[
577
00:39:49,597 --> 00:39:54,435
Those motherfucking faggot
sons of inbred bitches!
578
00:39:55,227 --> 00:39:56,812
- You okay?
- Get a doctor!
579
00:39:56,979 --> 00:39:58,439
See if there is one.
580
00:39:58,856 --> 00:39:59,982
Can't you go?
581
00:40:00,149 --> 00:40:01,984
Your shirt! I'll do a tourniquet.
582
00:40:02,777 --> 00:40:04,779
It's a Lacoste. Duty-free.
583
00:40:04,945 --> 00:40:06,989
- It's a fake!
- It is not.
584
00:40:07,156 --> 00:40:08,908
The Lacoste logo isn't a frog.
585
00:40:09,825 --> 00:40:11,118
Gimme that rag!
586
00:40:12,495 --> 00:40:14,497
Move back.
Give her some air.
587
00:40:14,955 --> 00:40:16,207
Let me through!
588
00:40:19,960 --> 00:40:22,463
- Take it easy.
- Mind if I handle this?
589
00:40:22,630 --> 00:40:23,547
Miss?
590
00:40:23,964 --> 00:40:25,007
Can you hear me?
591
00:40:25,424 --> 00:40:26,801
Yes, she needs a doctor.
592
00:40:26,967 --> 00:40:28,094
You're not one?
593
00:40:28,260 --> 00:40:30,096
Sort of. A podiatrist.
594
00:40:30,971 --> 00:40:32,765
- Then beat it.
- I'll try to help.
595
00:40:35,142 --> 00:40:36,644
Careful, she has lice.
596
00:40:37,520 --> 00:40:38,437
Lice?
597
00:40:40,314 --> 00:40:41,565
We've got a problem.
598
00:40:49,031 --> 00:40:51,200
That's no problem, that's a corpse.
599
00:40:52,743 --> 00:40:54,203
- You okay?
- I'm all right.
600
00:40:54,370 --> 00:40:56,497
I'm allergic to dead bodies.
601
00:40:57,081 --> 00:41:00,334
Don't tell his girlfriend or the others.
They'll panic.
602
00:41:00,501 --> 00:41:01,836
Not necessarily.
603
00:41:02,461 --> 00:41:04,213
Sorry, but there's...
604
00:41:06,090 --> 00:41:07,133
Yes, they will.
605
00:41:09,301 --> 00:41:11,220
- I'm gonna scream.
- Don't.
606
00:41:12,179 --> 00:41:13,681
I'm not okay.
607
00:41:13,848 --> 00:41:15,599
- You'll be okay.
- I won't be okay at all.
608
00:41:15,766 --> 00:41:17,518
All these corpse allergies!
609
00:41:17,685 --> 00:41:18,811
So he's dead?
610
00:41:19,145 --> 00:41:22,940
Let's say he's not completely alive.
What did you want?
611
00:41:23,107 --> 00:41:24,441
It was to...
612
00:41:25,359 --> 00:41:27,736
Spit it out. Calm down.
613
00:41:27,903 --> 00:41:29,196
- I can't remember.
- You can!
614
00:41:31,907 --> 00:41:32,950
Is it the girl?
615
00:41:33,367 --> 00:41:35,744
She's fine. I hate being like this!
616
00:41:35,911 --> 00:41:38,914
- Is she in a lot of pain?
- Yes, but it's okay.
617
00:41:40,166 --> 00:41:41,333
This drives me nuts!
618
00:41:42,877 --> 00:41:43,878
Now I know!
619
00:41:44,628 --> 00:41:45,880
Armed men on board.
620
00:42:13,782 --> 00:42:15,993
I'd go, but my cholesterol's high.
621
00:42:17,661 --> 00:42:20,956
I would, too,
but you're in front of me.
622
00:42:21,332 --> 00:42:22,499
Sorry.
623
00:42:24,919 --> 00:42:28,964
"True courage is being brave
precisely when you feel it the least."
624
00:42:29,131 --> 00:42:30,299
Jules Renard.
625
00:42:38,682 --> 00:42:41,018
How much is a liter of oil?
626
00:42:55,908 --> 00:42:58,077
They'll kill me.
I'm a lousy bargainer.
627
00:42:58,244 --> 00:42:59,745
You're the boss, chief.
628
00:42:59,912 --> 00:43:00,913
That helps.
629
00:43:05,960 --> 00:43:09,338
I'll negotiate for water
and for them to clear the runway.
630
00:43:18,305 --> 00:43:23,102
From history's heights
631
00:43:23,269 --> 00:43:25,854
Where the sun of your bravery
632
00:43:26,021 --> 00:43:28,399
Laid siege to death
633
00:43:28,565 --> 00:43:32,069
Here lies the clarity
634
00:43:32,278 --> 00:43:34,863
The deep transparency
635
00:43:35,030 --> 00:43:38,117
Of your beloved presence
636
00:43:38,284 --> 00:43:42,162
Commandante Che Guevara...
637
00:44:19,366 --> 00:44:20,409
Mind if I Sit?
638
00:44:22,453 --> 00:44:23,329
No.
639
00:44:24,538 --> 00:44:25,414
Thanks.
640
00:44:32,504 --> 00:44:33,297
You okay?
641
00:44:35,382 --> 00:44:36,342
I'm hungry.
642
00:44:43,057 --> 00:44:46,435
It's not at all sure
that he'll be back.
643
00:44:49,772 --> 00:44:50,856
Think so?
644
00:44:52,107 --> 00:44:53,233
There's even
645
00:44:53,942 --> 00:44:55,736
very little chance.
646
00:44:59,198 --> 00:45:00,783
I know what you're thinking.
647
00:45:02,076 --> 00:45:02,868
Really?
648
00:45:04,453 --> 00:45:05,746
Because I'm a stewardess?
649
00:45:08,040 --> 00:45:09,917
Not at all!
650
00:45:11,293 --> 00:45:12,878
Yes, that's it.
651
00:45:13,712 --> 00:45:15,631
If I'd been a rabbi...
652
00:45:17,383 --> 00:45:18,592
That was very funny.
653
00:45:20,344 --> 00:45:21,970
Being funny is pointless.
654
00:45:24,181 --> 00:45:27,434
Girls like you are rare.
655
00:45:28,352 --> 00:45:29,395
Meaning?
656
00:45:31,021 --> 00:45:35,234
Usually discussions with stewardess
don't reach great heights.
657
00:45:35,401 --> 00:45:37,528
If you'll forgive the pun.
658
00:45:39,321 --> 00:45:42,491
But conversations with pilots,
those are...
659
00:45:44,243 --> 00:45:46,370
That's a good one!
660
00:45:46,537 --> 00:45:47,496
Excellent
661
00:45:47,830 --> 00:45:49,665
- Very funny.
- What's your name again?
662
00:45:49,832 --> 00:45:50,874
Jean-Claude.
663
00:45:52,793 --> 00:45:54,837
I can't see myself with a Jean-Claude.
664
00:45:59,967 --> 00:46:01,260
See you later.
665
00:46:01,802 --> 00:46:02,636
So long.
666
00:46:06,890 --> 00:46:10,436
How to Die in Style
667
00:46:14,815 --> 00:46:16,733
It all started with an argument.
668
00:46:17,067 --> 00:46:18,152
One weekend.
669
00:46:19,069 --> 00:46:21,905
We said some terrible things.
670
00:46:23,699 --> 00:46:25,701
You know what it was about?
671
00:46:30,497 --> 00:46:33,333
The cable modem had been out
for 3 months.
672
00:46:36,837 --> 00:46:37,838
I see.
673
00:46:39,506 --> 00:46:42,843
So no TV, no Internet, no telephone.
674
00:46:44,761 --> 00:46:47,014
So they all left.
675
00:46:47,222 --> 00:46:49,349
No TV, no Internet, no phone.
676
00:46:50,726 --> 00:46:51,894
What d'you expect?
677
00:46:53,645 --> 00:46:55,647
She asked for a divorce.
678
00:46:55,814 --> 00:46:59,276
She got custody of the kids
and moved away.
679
00:47:03,363 --> 00:47:04,364
Then
680
00:47:05,199 --> 00:47:08,285
Internet worked again like magic.
681
00:47:10,913 --> 00:47:15,584
But I really don't need it anymore,
since I see my kids in a square
682
00:47:18,795 --> 00:47:19,588
in SablA�...
683
00:47:21,131 --> 00:47:22,090
sur-Sarthe.
684
00:47:33,936 --> 00:47:36,647
Overall, it went pretty well.
685
00:47:37,814 --> 00:47:39,483
They're cooperative.
686
00:47:40,400 --> 00:47:41,735
They gave me water.
687
00:47:42,486 --> 00:47:46,198
But they want two little things.
688
00:47:46,907 --> 00:47:47,991
Not my fan!
689
00:47:48,158 --> 00:47:49,409
They said everything.
690
00:47:56,208 --> 00:47:58,710
The ring Mom gave me on her deathbed.
691
00:47:58,877 --> 00:48:00,045
Sorry.
692
00:48:01,046 --> 00:48:03,048
It's for both of us.
693
00:48:08,220 --> 00:48:09,096
Never mind.
694
00:48:10,055 --> 00:48:10,889
What?
695
00:48:11,974 --> 00:48:13,308
No way.
696
00:48:13,475 --> 00:48:14,643
"Everything"
697
00:48:15,102 --> 00:48:17,104
Don't even think about it.
698
00:48:22,776 --> 00:48:23,902
That's low.
699
00:48:26,488 --> 00:48:29,741
The second thing is,
and they're adamant...
700
00:48:30,409 --> 00:48:33,453
They want us to hand over
701
00:48:34,621 --> 00:48:35,747
the women...
702
00:48:40,460 --> 00:48:41,420
Hang on!
703
00:48:41,587 --> 00:48:43,422
It's horrible. Sure.
704
00:48:43,714 --> 00:48:45,257
No one can say it isn't.
705
00:48:45,424 --> 00:48:47,301
Why? Because it's horrible.
706
00:48:47,467 --> 00:48:50,387
But saying it won't get us very far.
707
00:48:51,221 --> 00:48:52,848
We hand over the women.
708
00:48:54,808 --> 00:48:57,185
Hang on!
709
00:48:58,020 --> 00:48:59,271
I can hand myself over.
710
00:48:59,438 --> 00:49:01,607
No, that's horrible!
711
00:49:03,984 --> 00:49:06,320
It's horrible, and yet...
712
00:49:06,653 --> 00:49:08,071
Are you out of your mind?
713
00:49:08,363 --> 00:49:09,865
How vile,
714
00:49:10,407 --> 00:49:11,867
monstrous,
715
00:49:12,034 --> 00:49:14,036
and low
716
00:49:14,453 --> 00:49:17,914
to think for a minute
of sacrificing any one of us!
717
00:49:19,750 --> 00:49:21,877
So let me finish my sentence.
718
00:49:22,878 --> 00:49:24,963
They want the women
719
00:49:27,382 --> 00:49:28,592
and the men!
720
00:49:34,056 --> 00:49:36,266
I warned you, I'm no bargainer.
721
00:49:36,516 --> 00:49:39,061
No Tonton Macoute's
gonna bumfuck me.
722
00:49:39,227 --> 00:49:42,731
Sorry to be crude,
but they think we're ninnies.
723
00:49:42,898 --> 00:49:45,776
Stop! Now you all shut up
724
00:49:46,234 --> 00:49:48,070
and listen to me.
725
00:49:48,236 --> 00:49:51,114
My name's Alain
and I'm policeman.
726
00:49:51,281 --> 00:49:53,575
Up to now I was on vacation.
727
00:49:53,825 --> 00:49:56,662
But vacation's over
and I'm back on duty.
728
00:49:56,828 --> 00:49:59,289
So get ready for a fight.
729
00:49:59,581 --> 00:50:02,876
Those redskins are in for it!
730
00:50:06,505 --> 00:50:08,006
Kill the bastards!
731
00:50:08,173 --> 00:50:09,549
Aren't you non-violent?
732
00:50:09,800 --> 00:50:13,887
Sure, but to be non-violent,
you gotta know violence.
733
00:50:14,471 --> 00:50:17,224
That cop's gotta make up his mind!
734
00:50:39,705 --> 00:50:45,502
Arise you children of our motherland
735
00:50:45,669 --> 00:50:50,298
Oh now is here our glorious day!
736
00:50:51,258 --> 00:50:55,971
Over us the bloodstained banner
737
00:50:56,471 --> 00:51:00,642
Of tyranny holds sway!
738
00:51:24,916 --> 00:51:25,834
Excuse me.
739
00:52:29,773 --> 00:52:31,775
Help me!
740
00:52:47,457 --> 00:52:48,959
Why didn't you help before?
741
00:52:49,125 --> 00:52:51,711
Sorry, it was a personal initiative.
742
00:52:51,878 --> 00:52:53,588
I wasn't in the mood.
743
00:52:54,464 --> 00:52:55,423
Thanks.
744
00:53:05,809 --> 00:53:07,644
Now what, boss?
745
00:53:07,811 --> 00:53:10,689
Yeah, what do we do?
746
00:53:10,981 --> 00:53:12,190
What do we do?
747
00:53:14,526 --> 00:53:16,987
I suggest we vote, but...
748
00:53:17,362 --> 00:53:19,614
To decide on the next fuck-up?
749
00:53:21,199 --> 00:53:25,203
You call saving my life a fuck-up?
Thanks a lot.
750
00:53:25,370 --> 00:53:27,330
I didn't mean that.
751
00:53:32,168 --> 00:53:33,211
I have an idea.
752
00:53:41,595 --> 00:53:43,054
How do you say hostage?
753
00:53:43,555 --> 00:53:45,473
- You want help?
- No, you translate.
754
00:53:45,724 --> 00:53:49,144
Give us food and drink
and clear the runway,
755
00:53:49,811 --> 00:53:51,104
or we kill your leader.
756
00:53:51,271 --> 00:53:52,939
- What?
- Not kill, really.
757
00:53:53,106 --> 00:53:54,858
You sure of yourself, because...
758
00:53:55,025 --> 00:53:56,776
All right, all right.
759
00:53:57,360 --> 00:53:58,486
We cut off his leg.
760
00:53:58,653 --> 00:54:00,697
- Why his leg?
- It's psychological.
761
00:54:01,948 --> 00:54:04,075
Okay, his foot. Translate that.
762
00:54:12,500 --> 00:54:13,668
Bull feces.
763
00:54:18,673 --> 00:54:20,175
I got that.
764
00:54:24,346 --> 00:54:27,182
- That's risky.
- It could destabilize him.
765
00:54:28,183 --> 00:54:30,727
He does look very destabilized.
766
00:54:55,752 --> 00:54:58,505
I'd like my little fan back, too.
767
00:55:01,132 --> 00:55:02,676
I won't cut his leg off!
768
00:55:02,842 --> 00:55:04,260
Just his foot, okay?
769
00:55:04,427 --> 00:55:07,847
If it's just his foot, okay.
It won't hurt as much.
770
00:55:09,516 --> 00:55:10,475
Was that irony?
771
00:55:12,894 --> 00:55:15,188
Now what do we do, boss?
772
00:55:16,314 --> 00:55:17,190
Well, what?
773
00:55:17,357 --> 00:55:18,108
Nothing.
774
00:55:18,274 --> 00:55:19,317
I don't know.
775
00:55:19,609 --> 00:55:23,238
I don't know about you,
but that music drives me nuts.
776
00:55:23,405 --> 00:55:25,365
Want me to check your hair?
777
00:55:27,033 --> 00:55:27,909
I've got it.
778
00:55:29,786 --> 00:55:31,329
We cut his foot off.
779
00:55:32,872 --> 00:55:34,541
Is he dead at least?
780
00:55:34,708 --> 00:55:37,669
No, he's napping.
He had a late night.
781
00:55:40,296 --> 00:55:43,508
It's your idea, so you do the honors.
782
00:55:45,301 --> 00:55:47,971
We'll leave you. Bye.
783
00:55:55,020 --> 00:55:56,563
The foot's on the end, right?
784
00:55:56,730 --> 00:55:58,523
Yes, on the end.
785
00:56:01,943 --> 00:56:05,530
Who does your company's
musical programming? Hitler?
786
00:56:11,369 --> 00:56:12,579
I can't do it!
787
00:56:41,691 --> 00:56:44,652
I can't do it.
His skin is all icky and limp.
788
00:56:44,819 --> 00:56:46,196
It wobbles. I can't.
789
00:56:46,362 --> 00:56:47,530
What's all the blood?
790
00:56:47,697 --> 00:56:50,867
I cut my finger on the machete. Sorry.
791
00:56:51,159 --> 00:56:53,036
- What now, boss?
- I have an idea.
792
00:56:54,079 --> 00:56:56,414
I don't cut feet, I cut toenails!
793
00:56:57,040 --> 00:57:01,336
Then cut his toenails,
only a bit higher up.
794
00:57:07,383 --> 00:57:08,510
Let's try something else.
795
00:57:32,575 --> 00:57:34,744
I have to cut off your foot.
796
00:57:34,953 --> 00:57:37,789
I admit I don't really feel like it.
797
00:57:38,081 --> 00:57:41,543
So, tell me if you mind.
798
00:57:41,793 --> 00:57:43,628
Could you cut off your foot, please?
799
00:57:53,513 --> 00:57:54,806
Sorry about the music.
800
00:58:09,404 --> 00:58:10,613
- He's dead.
- What?
801
00:58:11,656 --> 00:58:12,782
You killed him?
802
00:58:12,949 --> 00:58:14,117
He deceased himself.
803
00:58:15,285 --> 00:58:16,369
How'd he do that?
804
00:58:17,162 --> 00:58:20,456
He rushed at my knife
and stuck it in his gut.
805
00:58:24,460 --> 00:58:26,588
I've never killed anyone before.
806
00:58:26,880 --> 00:58:30,967
"It's not evil but good
that produces guilt." Lacan.
807
00:58:31,593 --> 00:58:33,595
He was our only hostage.
808
00:58:34,053 --> 00:58:35,930
I'm no boss, I'm a piece of shit.
809
00:58:36,139 --> 00:58:39,809
Now, now.
Don't get all worked up about it.
810
00:58:52,113 --> 00:58:55,658
I'd like to apologize,
811
00:58:57,076 --> 00:58:58,745
because we're all going to die.
812
00:59:26,481 --> 00:59:28,024
We're all gonna croak.
813
00:59:29,859 --> 00:59:31,778
Would you make love with me?
814
00:59:34,364 --> 00:59:36,950
Does anyone have any anti-depressants?
815
00:59:42,997 --> 00:59:44,540
Reading a catalogue?
816
00:59:48,753 --> 00:59:51,673
You travel with the JC Penny catalogue?
It's heavy!
817
00:59:54,259 --> 00:59:55,927
It relaxes me when I'm stressed.
818
00:59:59,847 --> 01:00:01,349
And it's Sears.
819
01:00:02,058 --> 01:00:03,726
It's not Penny's, it's Sears.
820
01:00:04,811 --> 01:00:05,645
I see.
821
01:00:06,562 --> 01:00:09,065
Here, look. Be careful.
822
01:00:09,983 --> 01:00:11,526
Page 147.
823
01:00:16,656 --> 01:00:18,241
See that girl?
824
01:00:18,825 --> 01:00:20,618
What age do you give her? 40?
825
01:00:22,328 --> 01:00:23,997
When I was little,
826
01:00:24,289 --> 01:00:26,040
she advertised bed sheets.
827
01:00:28,543 --> 01:00:31,963
You recreate an ideal world
that doesn't scare you,
828
01:00:32,755 --> 01:00:34,465
that you can control.
829
01:00:36,009 --> 01:00:37,427
You like fakes.
830
01:00:37,969 --> 01:00:39,929
That's why you're a waffle spy.
831
01:00:41,180 --> 01:00:43,266
What's going on? You nuts?
832
01:00:43,433 --> 01:00:45,143
I didn't ask you!
833
01:00:46,936 --> 01:00:49,856
Without you,
I'd be sitting quietly in my corner,
834
01:00:50,106 --> 01:00:51,566
like I always have.
835
01:00:52,358 --> 01:00:54,360
All this is your fault!
836
01:00:54,610 --> 01:00:56,070
What? My fault?
837
01:00:57,113 --> 01:00:58,406
Are you joking?
838
01:00:59,407 --> 01:01:01,492
Is it my fault you're in waffles?
839
01:01:01,909 --> 01:01:04,996
Or so neurotic
you can't talk to midgets?
840
01:01:05,538 --> 01:01:07,248
Or wear serial killer glasses?
841
01:01:07,540 --> 01:01:08,791
Or that you're ugly?
842
01:01:09,000 --> 01:01:10,793
Ugly? Me?
843
01:01:10,960 --> 01:01:13,129
I'm ugly? Ugly yourself!
844
01:01:13,629 --> 01:01:16,716
Me, ugly? Say what you like,
but I'm not ugly!
845
01:01:16,883 --> 01:01:21,387
You are ugly! You think it's enough
to be beautiful to be beautiful?
846
01:01:21,554 --> 01:01:23,181
I know what I mean.
847
01:01:23,473 --> 01:01:25,850
As for me, I might be ugly,
848
01:01:26,017 --> 01:01:28,978
but I'd rather be ugly
than a sorry stewardess.
849
01:01:29,145 --> 01:01:31,147
- Alone and jobless.
- Who says I'm alone?
850
01:01:31,314 --> 01:01:33,733
It's obvious you're alone!
I can tell.
851
01:01:33,900 --> 01:01:37,362
I can spot single girls
and nosejobs anywhere.
852
01:01:37,528 --> 01:01:40,531
You're alone
and that makes you ugly!
853
01:01:40,740 --> 01:01:42,241
You stupid moron!
854
01:01:42,575 --> 01:01:44,494
Stupid like this catalogue!
855
01:01:50,333 --> 01:01:51,876
How's life?
856
01:01:55,546 --> 01:01:56,464
Is this yours?
857
01:01:56,631 --> 01:01:57,298
Yes.
858
01:01:58,966 --> 01:02:00,134
Better and better.
859
01:02:11,396 --> 01:02:12,438
Here.
860
01:02:18,277 --> 01:02:19,070
What's that?
861
01:02:19,278 --> 01:02:22,198
The rebel leader's foot.
I'm an army surgeon.
862
01:02:22,657 --> 01:02:25,118
Why not say so
when the girl needed one?
863
01:02:25,743 --> 01:02:27,078
She has lice!
864
01:02:29,664 --> 01:02:30,790
We can take off soon.
865
01:02:32,083 --> 01:02:33,418
The boss is back,
866
01:02:33,709 --> 01:02:35,253
so they're in for it!
867
01:02:37,422 --> 01:02:38,840
Here's what we do.
868
01:02:39,006 --> 01:02:42,760
See the tank truck over there?
It's their gas revisions.
869
01:02:43,052 --> 01:02:44,262
Provisions.
870
01:02:44,429 --> 01:02:46,097
- You can say both.
- Either.
871
01:02:46,264 --> 01:02:48,766
We move foward, throw one,
872
01:02:48,933 --> 01:02:50,935
it explodes, and we take off.
873
01:02:51,102 --> 01:02:52,395
And their leader?
874
01:02:52,937 --> 01:02:53,771
What leader?
875
01:02:53,938 --> 01:02:58,067
The dead guy whose foot we cut off,
who was to be returned alive.
876
01:02:58,234 --> 01:02:59,026
Oh, yeah.
877
01:02:59,819 --> 01:03:01,654
The leader, I know.
878
01:03:01,988 --> 01:03:05,408
Same plan, but on top of it,
we throw out the leader.
879
01:03:06,659 --> 01:03:07,827
Brilliant.
880
01:03:11,456 --> 01:03:12,665
You sulking?
881
01:03:12,832 --> 01:03:14,250
Absolutely not.
882
01:03:15,042 --> 01:03:16,878
Sorry for what I said earlier.
883
01:03:17,920 --> 01:03:19,213
That's easy.
884
01:03:20,381 --> 01:03:22,508
But I think I hit the nail on the head.
885
01:03:23,551 --> 01:03:27,472
Sorry to interrupt a moving scene
that could make a stone weep.
886
01:03:27,889 --> 01:03:31,058
Your plan is excellent.
887
01:03:31,767 --> 01:03:33,394
- What's your name again?
- Dagobert.
888
01:03:33,561 --> 01:03:35,396
- I'm not joking.
- Me neither.
889
01:03:36,022 --> 01:03:37,482
- Sorry.
- What'd you say?
890
01:03:37,857 --> 01:03:40,860
I can't remember, Dagobert.
891
01:03:41,027 --> 01:03:43,237
You said his plan is excellent.
892
01:03:45,114 --> 01:03:46,199
Are you all right?
893
01:03:46,866 --> 01:03:51,704
No. I took pills,
thinking our time was up. I'm done for.
894
01:03:53,122 --> 01:03:55,541
- What'd you take?
- Vitamin C.
895
01:03:57,293 --> 01:03:58,377
Come on.
896
01:03:58,753 --> 01:04:00,171
You all with me on this?
897
01:04:00,338 --> 01:04:03,424
You'd better believe it.
898
01:04:03,674 --> 01:04:04,967
We'll take 'em apart.
899
01:04:06,052 --> 01:04:09,013
Could you hold this?
Jean-Claude?
900
01:04:09,263 --> 01:04:10,640
Come over here.
901
01:04:12,475 --> 01:04:15,686
- Mind if I call you Jean-Claude?
- It's my name.
902
01:04:16,646 --> 01:04:20,691
It's a nice name.
Like a compound name.
903
01:04:20,900 --> 01:04:24,695
Like Jean-Pierre,
but it's Claude instead of Pierre.
904
01:04:26,447 --> 01:04:29,909
You'd be more useful sitting there
with the others.
905
01:04:30,284 --> 01:04:31,452
What d'you mean?
906
01:04:32,203 --> 01:04:33,579
We can't mess up now.
907
01:04:39,585 --> 01:04:41,337
Can I say goodbye?
908
01:04:53,266 --> 01:04:54,308
I know.
909
01:05:12,910 --> 01:05:13,786
How's it going?
910
01:05:19,041 --> 01:05:22,503
Careful, we have a nasty crosswind
at 310°, 8 knots.
911
01:05:27,216 --> 01:05:29,427
Cabin crew, arm the slides.
912
01:05:30,177 --> 01:05:34,640
Ladies and gentlemen,
I'm the real captain on board.
913
01:05:34,807 --> 01:05:37,977
We're taking off
for an eventless flight.
914
01:05:39,145 --> 01:05:40,521
We're about to go.
915
01:05:40,938 --> 01:05:43,482
We start moving, I open the door,
916
01:05:43,941 --> 01:05:46,777
you toss a flare,
throw out the body and we take off.
917
01:05:46,944 --> 01:05:48,821
- Yes, boss.
- I like that.
918
01:05:49,697 --> 01:05:51,449
They're clearing the runway. Ready?
919
01:05:51,699 --> 01:05:53,534
Don't worry, it's like teargas.
920
01:05:54,076 --> 01:05:55,661
Let's go. Ready?
921
01:06:03,711 --> 01:06:05,796
What a jerk! I don't believe it.
922
01:06:06,005 --> 01:06:08,049
Wait until the door opens.
923
01:06:08,424 --> 01:06:09,550
I freaked out.
924
01:06:11,052 --> 01:06:13,471
Quit laughing, I can't concentrate.
925
01:06:13,638 --> 01:06:15,056
I love it when you're angry.
926
01:06:17,183 --> 01:06:18,017
What's going on?
927
01:06:18,184 --> 01:06:20,645
They're coming! Plan B!
928
01:06:20,978 --> 01:06:23,022
- We have a Plan B?
- The second flare.
929
01:06:23,439 --> 01:06:25,524
Let me. Gimme that.
930
01:06:27,860 --> 01:06:29,612
She hit the tank truck.
931
01:06:30,488 --> 01:06:32,073
Bull's eye!
932
01:06:32,865 --> 01:06:35,284
We handle the body,
you take the door.
933
01:06:40,790 --> 01:06:41,624
Fuck!
934
01:06:41,999 --> 01:06:45,711
What'd you do?
Why close it so quick?
935
01:06:45,961 --> 01:06:49,548
I'm a policeman,
not a body-thrower for Boeing!
936
01:06:51,050 --> 01:06:52,468
They're catching up!
937
01:06:52,718 --> 01:06:53,427
They're catching up!
938
01:07:01,519 --> 01:07:04,230
- Turn down the music.
- I can't.
939
01:07:04,480 --> 01:07:05,898
Do something!
940
01:07:06,232 --> 01:07:08,609
No way. The hand's full of fingers.
941
01:07:08,901 --> 01:07:09,819
Move back!
942
01:07:11,362 --> 01:07:13,280
Would you quit laughing!
943
01:07:13,447 --> 01:07:16,117
Let me laugh! You're so castrating!
944
01:07:16,283 --> 01:07:19,203
Me, castrating? Not at all.
945
01:07:19,412 --> 01:07:21,288
Here they come!
946
01:07:29,213 --> 01:07:30,172
That must hurt.
947
01:07:30,339 --> 01:07:31,048
What?
948
01:07:31,215 --> 01:07:33,342
Their leader is stuck in the engine.
949
01:07:34,468 --> 01:07:36,762
There's trouble with the left engine.
950
01:07:37,221 --> 01:07:40,099
It'll pass. Gun the engines!
951
01:07:40,433 --> 01:07:41,600
You bet!
952
01:07:45,938 --> 01:07:47,064
What's that?
953
01:07:47,523 --> 01:07:50,025
The leader just came out of the engine.
954
01:07:54,155 --> 01:07:56,782
We'll hit their trucks. Go!
955
01:08:28,397 --> 01:08:29,982
Anything wrong?
956
01:08:32,193 --> 01:08:33,444
I'm all right.
957
01:08:33,986 --> 01:08:35,404
It's goat's milk.
958
01:08:36,113 --> 01:08:39,450
I've got a cure: Crapette.
In 5 hands.
959
01:08:44,288 --> 01:08:45,456
Feel better?
960
01:08:48,375 --> 01:08:50,669
I got used to the idea of dying.
961
01:08:52,129 --> 01:08:55,341
Why not make love to my husband
and I watch?
962
01:09:07,269 --> 01:09:08,813
"Studies on Hysteria."
963
01:09:09,271 --> 01:09:10,940
You read it?
964
01:09:11,148 --> 01:09:13,192
No, not that one.
965
01:09:14,985 --> 01:09:16,862
What have you read by Freud?
966
01:09:20,449 --> 01:09:25,371
The study on the behavior
of disturbed children.
967
01:09:28,040 --> 01:09:29,750
That was a good one.
968
01:09:35,965 --> 01:09:37,174
Hear that?
969
01:09:38,300 --> 01:09:39,844
Now what?
970
01:09:43,472 --> 01:09:44,974
Yes, that's odd.
971
01:09:46,183 --> 01:09:47,184
I'll go see.
972
01:10:01,615 --> 01:10:03,242
It's the midget. He's crying.
973
01:10:03,784 --> 01:10:05,202
What'd you do to him?
974
01:10:05,369 --> 01:10:07,371
Nothing! He was already crying.
975
01:10:07,538 --> 01:10:08,706
What's wrong?
976
01:10:08,873 --> 01:10:10,249
How should I know?
977
01:10:10,416 --> 01:10:11,750
Why didn't you ask?
978
01:10:11,917 --> 01:10:13,419
What am I supposed to say?
979
01:10:13,586 --> 01:10:16,005
I don't know. Ask, "What's wrong?"
980
01:10:16,171 --> 01:10:18,674
"Why are you crying?"
Maybe he's in pain.
981
01:10:18,841 --> 01:10:22,177
He's your pal, not mine.
It's your relationship.
982
01:10:22,344 --> 01:10:25,222
He's not my pal. I don't even know him!
983
01:10:28,142 --> 01:10:29,476
My pal!
984
01:10:53,417 --> 01:10:54,543
Are you okay?
985
01:10:56,253 --> 01:10:57,504
Can I do anything?
986
01:10:57,671 --> 01:10:59,006
No, I'm all right.
987
01:11:02,509 --> 01:11:03,719
Are you in pain?
988
01:11:04,511 --> 01:11:05,888
No, not at all.
989
01:11:08,390 --> 01:11:09,642
What is it, then?
990
01:11:10,601 --> 01:11:13,062
Nothing, it's silly.
991
01:11:13,228 --> 01:11:15,731
Who cares if it's silly!
992
01:11:15,898 --> 01:11:17,441
At this point...
993
01:11:21,862 --> 01:11:25,240
It's just that, when I fell earlier,
994
01:11:25,741 --> 01:11:27,660
I lost my pet.
995
01:11:28,369 --> 01:11:31,330
He ran away.
I'm afraid something's happened to him.
996
01:11:33,040 --> 01:11:35,751
It's all right, we'll find him.
997
01:11:36,251 --> 01:11:38,796
What kind of pet? A cat?
998
01:11:38,963 --> 01:11:40,130
No, a rat.
999
01:11:41,966 --> 01:11:43,050
A rat?
1000
01:11:43,801 --> 01:11:45,844
A rat from Honduras.
1001
01:11:46,095 --> 01:11:47,304
It's a little bigger.
1002
01:11:48,806 --> 01:11:50,516
Bigger than a rat?
1003
01:11:50,849 --> 01:11:53,894
That's right. His name's CompiA�gne.
1004
01:11:54,061 --> 01:11:55,688
Like your home town?
1005
01:11:55,896 --> 01:11:56,939
No, why?
1006
01:11:57,106 --> 01:11:58,232
No reason.
1007
01:12:02,903 --> 01:12:04,279
Could you help me find him?
1008
01:12:04,863 --> 01:12:07,574
Even if there's little hope.
1009
01:12:08,117 --> 01:12:12,121
But don't mention it to the others.
Rats have a bad image.
1010
01:12:12,621 --> 01:12:15,332
Some people don't like them.
1011
01:12:16,125 --> 01:12:17,835
There are idiots everywhere.
1012
01:12:18,502 --> 01:12:19,336
Yes.
1013
01:12:19,628 --> 01:12:22,047
Sure, right. We'll do that.
1014
01:12:22,214 --> 01:12:25,384
We'll find CompiA�gne.
He must be somewhere.
1015
01:12:26,969 --> 01:12:27,970
Thanks.
1016
01:12:28,512 --> 01:12:29,680
That's kind.
1017
01:12:29,930 --> 01:12:31,056
Really kind.
1018
01:12:34,143 --> 01:12:35,310
Great.
1019
01:12:36,603 --> 01:12:38,147
I'll look that way.
1020
01:12:38,605 --> 01:12:40,232
And I'll look this way.
1021
01:12:42,026 --> 01:12:44,903
Hang on.
I thought you had a rat phobia.
1022
01:12:45,696 --> 01:12:49,158
I do, but he's a midget!
He's not well, it's obvious.
1023
01:12:49,575 --> 01:12:52,911
Everyone pretends not to notice,
as if he were normal.
1024
01:12:53,078 --> 01:12:57,458
But he's 30 inches tall.
No bigger than a radiator! It's horrible.
1025
01:12:57,624 --> 01:12:59,043
Are you listening?
1026
01:13:02,379 --> 01:13:04,173
I came to thank you.
1027
01:13:09,178 --> 01:13:10,596
I'm a monster.
1028
01:13:11,346 --> 01:13:12,765
I'm a monster.
1029
01:13:14,475 --> 01:13:16,727
Maybe he has big radiators.
1030
01:13:24,485 --> 01:13:25,360
What?
1031
01:13:26,612 --> 01:13:28,155
Smell that?
1032
01:13:28,864 --> 01:13:30,866
I Wonder Where it's Coming from.
1033
01:13:31,909 --> 01:13:34,620
Something must be stuck in the engine.
1034
01:13:34,870 --> 01:13:36,538
Then it's a piece of rebel.
1035
01:13:38,040 --> 01:13:39,249
A piece of rebel.
1036
01:13:39,416 --> 01:13:40,250
What?
1037
01:13:41,335 --> 01:13:42,920
It's a piece of rebel.
1038
01:13:47,132 --> 01:13:48,675
What a lousy hand.
1039
01:13:51,386 --> 01:13:52,930
Sure you're all right?
1040
01:13:53,138 --> 01:13:54,515
Yes, maybe.
1041
01:13:57,893 --> 01:13:59,686
What is this?
1042
01:13:59,895 --> 01:14:00,687
What?
1043
01:14:02,231 --> 01:14:04,316
It stinks!
Can't you smell anything?
1044
01:14:04,483 --> 01:14:05,943
It's not me, I swear.
1045
01:14:13,367 --> 01:14:14,243
That's awful.
1046
01:14:16,411 --> 01:14:17,830
Smells like rotting flesh.
1047
01:14:17,996 --> 01:14:20,124
Some animal must be stuck.
1048
01:14:20,541 --> 01:14:21,583
Oh, my God!
1049
01:14:22,000 --> 01:14:22,793
CompiA�gne!
1050
01:14:24,211 --> 01:14:28,215
His rat.
Must be stuck in an air duct.
1051
01:14:28,924 --> 01:14:30,425
He's fatally... dead.
1052
01:14:31,760 --> 01:14:32,636
What?
1053
01:14:32,803 --> 01:14:35,180
Do something!
It stinks like a dead rat.
1054
01:14:40,310 --> 01:14:41,520
Shit.
1055
01:14:45,232 --> 01:14:48,110
Can you do anything about the smell?
It's bad.
1056
01:14:48,318 --> 01:14:51,613
There's a way,
but it'll give them a jolt.
1057
01:14:52,781 --> 01:14:57,035
Ladies and gentlemen,
due to the foul odor aboard,
1058
01:14:57,202 --> 01:15:00,330
I have to act accordingly.
1059
01:15:00,831 --> 01:15:02,833
Sorry for the inconvenience.
1060
01:15:03,458 --> 01:15:04,710
What'd you do?
1061
01:15:16,930 --> 01:15:18,515
The mask suits you.
1062
01:15:18,682 --> 01:15:20,767
I know, I have a face for masks.
1063
01:15:29,109 --> 01:15:31,653
I am your father, Luke.
1064
01:15:32,029 --> 01:15:33,655
My name's not Luke.
1065
01:15:34,031 --> 01:15:36,241
And you can't be my father.
1066
01:15:36,783 --> 01:15:38,160
It's a joke.
1067
01:15:38,327 --> 01:15:40,078
I don't do jokes.
1068
01:15:40,370 --> 01:15:41,246
Oh.
1069
01:15:42,247 --> 01:15:44,041
- How about tennis?
- What?
1070
01:15:44,791 --> 01:15:45,876
Never mind.
1071
01:15:47,127 --> 01:15:51,590
Why should we go to Paris?
I'm from Perpignan.
1072
01:15:51,757 --> 01:15:53,800
Well, I'm from Belfort, so...
1073
01:15:53,967 --> 01:15:55,469
Why go to Perpignan?
1074
01:15:55,636 --> 01:15:59,264
Hey, comrades! I'm from Bethune.
Perpignan's no good.
1075
01:15:59,932 --> 01:16:01,058
Let's go to Lille!
1076
01:16:01,225 --> 01:16:04,019
Talk about the sticks!
1077
01:16:05,312 --> 01:16:08,899
I'm from Martinique, so Perpignan
or Lille's the same to me.
1078
01:16:09,066 --> 01:16:11,902
Let's compromise: Guadeloupe!
1079
01:16:12,152 --> 01:16:13,737
Cut it out!
1080
01:16:13,904 --> 01:16:16,114
Now you all shut the fuck up!
1081
01:16:16,281 --> 01:16:19,785
We're going to Paris,
not your dipshit boondocks!
1082
01:16:20,410 --> 01:16:21,787
Dipshit boondocks?
1083
01:16:31,838 --> 01:16:33,674
Calm down!
1084
01:16:36,260 --> 01:16:37,928
Belfort!
1085
01:16:38,095 --> 01:16:41,014
Belfort, Perpignan...
I'm from SablA�-sur-Sarthe.
1086
01:16:43,850 --> 01:16:45,560
I'm from Leghorn!
1087
01:16:53,860 --> 01:16:55,988
You're lovely when you fight.
1088
01:17:03,078 --> 01:17:04,913
Open up! You can't go in!
1089
01:17:05,163 --> 01:17:06,456
It's dangerous.
1090
01:17:12,004 --> 01:17:14,506
Ladies and gentlemen,
1091
01:17:14,673 --> 01:17:16,883
someone has entered
1092
01:17:17,050 --> 01:17:19,303
the cockpit, but don't worry.
1093
01:17:19,469 --> 01:17:21,179
We're on autopilot.
1094
01:17:31,440 --> 01:17:32,899
I bet it feels strange.
1095
01:17:35,319 --> 01:17:36,611
You Te wondering
1096
01:17:37,362 --> 01:17:39,072
who is speaking.
1097
01:17:40,324 --> 01:17:41,450
You don? See?
1098
01:17:43,243 --> 01:17:44,619
I can see you!
1099
01:17:47,748 --> 01:17:50,250
I'm the little jerk whose seat you take
1100
01:17:51,126 --> 01:17:52,794
without saying thank you.
1101
01:17:55,672 --> 01:17:59,509
The one you keep from listening
to a Bulgarian Vocal Choir.
1102
01:18:00,093 --> 01:18:02,220
The one who never makes a fuss,
1103
01:18:03,138 --> 01:18:05,724
who's made indecent propositions.
1104
01:18:08,060 --> 01:18:09,436
But that's over now.
1105
01:18:11,313 --> 01:18:12,939
My name's Dimitri,
1106
01:18:13,523 --> 01:18:15,400
and you won't forget me.
1107
01:18:25,869 --> 01:18:27,454
I'll break the door down!
1108
01:18:33,710 --> 01:18:35,379
We're gonna die.
1109
01:18:36,421 --> 01:18:40,092
When I first saw you,
I didn't think you capable of all this.
1110
01:18:40,509 --> 01:18:41,510
And now?
1111
01:18:41,885 --> 01:18:43,804
I think you can do even more.
1112
01:18:45,806 --> 01:18:48,183
I've gotta find a solution.
1113
01:18:49,142 --> 01:18:51,311
I'll break down the door.
1114
01:18:51,478 --> 01:18:53,480
He knows what he's doing.
1115
01:18:53,772 --> 01:18:55,023
He's doing nothing.
1116
01:18:55,232 --> 01:18:56,608
He knows that.
1117
01:19:01,446 --> 01:19:02,447
Mommy!
1118
01:19:07,786 --> 01:19:09,329
I can't, I can't!
1119
01:19:10,664 --> 01:19:12,207
Those red eyes,
1120
01:19:12,624 --> 01:19:14,167
that big tail...
1121
01:19:14,876 --> 01:19:16,336
Mommy, help me!
1122
01:19:19,214 --> 01:19:22,092
We're way too low.
Return to your seats!
1123
01:19:24,052 --> 01:19:25,345
Fasten your seatbelts.
1124
01:19:25,512 --> 01:19:26,847
Fasten your seatbelts!
1125
01:19:27,139 --> 01:19:29,474
I can't. I'm gonna die.
1126
01:19:29,641 --> 01:19:30,934
Know what you're doing?
1127
01:19:31,101 --> 01:19:33,186
Sure! I have a red belt in yoga.
1128
01:19:33,437 --> 01:19:34,563
Beat it!
1129
01:19:48,660 --> 01:19:49,661
It wasn't me.
1130
01:19:57,461 --> 01:19:59,463
- What?
- The autopilot is down.
1131
01:19:59,629 --> 01:20:01,047
- And?
- There's no "and."
1132
01:20:01,798 --> 01:20:03,300
Move!
1133
01:20:07,721 --> 01:20:08,597
Jean-Claude?
1134
01:20:10,098 --> 01:20:12,893
No. I'm too old and I'm useless.
1135
01:20:13,310 --> 01:20:15,896
The autopilot is jammed,
we'll crash.
1136
01:20:16,062 --> 01:20:18,190
Shoulda thought of that earlier.
1137
01:20:22,527 --> 01:20:23,528
I'm your man.
1138
01:20:23,737 --> 01:20:25,780
On 3, we pull. On 3...
1139
01:20:25,947 --> 01:20:28,074
1, 2, 3, go!
1140
01:20:30,994 --> 01:20:31,912
It's jammed!
1141
01:20:33,872 --> 01:20:35,373
Goddamn low cost!!
1142
01:20:40,670 --> 01:20:41,838
Okay, flap 15.
1143
01:20:42,589 --> 01:20:43,381
Flap 15, check.
1144
01:20:43,548 --> 01:20:45,592
Landing gear down, check.
1145
01:20:45,800 --> 01:20:47,636
Flap 30, check.
1146
01:20:47,802 --> 01:20:49,804
Landing... check! Careful!
1147
01:21:04,945 --> 01:21:08,490
No woman could move me like you do.
1148
01:21:08,823 --> 01:21:10,784
- Dagobert.
- Nuance.
1149
01:21:11,368 --> 01:21:14,496
- Let's not stand on ceremony.
- It's far too soon.
1150
01:21:15,372 --> 01:21:16,456
You know, Nuance...
1151
01:21:17,916 --> 01:21:20,418
If I had a wife,
I'd want one like you.
1152
01:21:22,045 --> 01:21:23,296
You know, Jean-Claude,
1153
01:21:23,463 --> 01:21:25,632
If I had a dad, he'd be like you.
1154
01:21:26,341 --> 01:21:28,468
Excellent! Very funny!
1155
01:21:31,012 --> 01:21:32,430
- No hard feelings
- On the contrary.
1156
01:21:32,681 --> 01:21:34,307
- Honestly?
- The pleasure's mine.
1157
01:21:34,558 --> 01:21:35,267
Mine, too.
1158
01:21:46,361 --> 01:21:50,532
Second Captain
Jean-Claude Bordier speaking.
1159
01:21:50,699 --> 01:21:54,327
Captain Ben Tira and co-pilot
Maurice Blin, of SablA�-sur-Sarthe
1160
01:21:54,911 --> 01:21:58,832
are pleased to announce our arrival
at Paris-Beauvais airport.
1161
01:22:26,359 --> 01:22:27,485
There we are.
1162
01:22:28,486 --> 01:22:30,113
Finally arrived.
1163
01:22:31,114 --> 01:22:32,324
I don't think so.
1164
01:22:35,869 --> 01:22:36,995
What do you mean?
1165
01:22:37,829 --> 01:22:39,122
We've landed,
1166
01:22:40,040 --> 01:22:41,374
but we haven't arrived.
1167
01:23:01,478 --> 01:23:02,354
Here.
1168
01:23:02,854 --> 01:23:04,189
- Thanks.
- You're welcome.
1169
01:23:04,898 --> 01:23:09,110
The struggle goes on.
We're off to South America.
1170
01:23:09,277 --> 01:23:12,238
I'll never forget,
you showed me the way.
1171
01:23:12,405 --> 01:23:14,866
Don't mention it.
Good luck, Gaetane.
1172
01:23:15,033 --> 01:23:17,619
That's Gaetane. Her, I'm leaving.
1173
01:23:17,786 --> 01:23:20,288
It was too passionate between us.
1174
01:23:21,956 --> 01:23:23,208
What'll you do there?
1175
01:23:23,375 --> 01:23:26,544
Fair development and ultra-violence.
1176
01:23:27,962 --> 01:23:29,547
Wanna team up?
1177
01:23:29,839 --> 01:23:31,174
What's your line?
1178
01:23:31,341 --> 01:23:32,926
Fair trade,
1179
01:23:33,593 --> 01:23:35,303
and so lucrative!
1180
01:23:35,679 --> 01:23:38,223
Tempting... Anyone else interested?
1181
01:23:40,266 --> 01:23:43,311
You might need a pilot.
1182
01:23:45,188 --> 01:23:46,356
Paris!
1183
01:23:50,694 --> 01:23:51,653
Great.
1184
01:23:56,408 --> 01:23:57,409
Great.
1185
01:24:03,415 --> 01:24:04,624
Well, I'm home.
1186
01:24:06,751 --> 01:24:07,711
What?
1187
01:24:22,100 --> 01:24:24,227
I always wondered why people
1188
01:24:24,394 --> 01:24:26,271
wear blankets at the end of movies.
1189
01:24:26,438 --> 01:24:29,315
After a shock, the body's fragile.
1190
01:24:29,858 --> 01:24:31,693
What we call in our jargon...
1191
01:24:31,985 --> 01:24:32,819
A chill.
1192
01:24:32,986 --> 01:24:34,612
Right.
1193
01:24:36,364 --> 01:24:38,158
It suits you.
1194
01:24:38,324 --> 01:24:39,826
Thanks. You, too.
1195
01:24:43,288 --> 01:24:44,706
I was thinking...
1196
01:24:45,498 --> 01:24:47,167
Why don't we work together?
1197
01:24:47,876 --> 01:24:50,170
I'd rather die than work in waffles.
1198
01:24:50,336 --> 01:24:53,965
Rather than spy, I learn to fly.
1199
01:24:54,132 --> 01:24:56,259
And you, rather than fly low cost,
1200
01:24:56,426 --> 01:24:57,802
fly with me.
1201
01:25:01,139 --> 01:25:02,724
Is that a declaration?
1202
01:25:02,891 --> 01:25:03,892
Not at all.
1203
01:25:04,058 --> 01:25:05,560
Yes, it is.
1204
01:25:05,769 --> 01:25:07,812
Not at all. It's a job offer.
1205
01:25:10,148 --> 01:25:11,065
Okay.
1206
01:25:30,710 --> 01:25:36,382
Welcome aboard
Lobud Jet Airlines.
1207
01:25:45,850 --> 01:25:51,606
We offer the comfort
of our own airline.
1208
01:25:52,232 --> 01:25:53,900
Reclining seats,
1209
01:25:54,067 --> 01:25:55,485
luggage holds,
1210
01:25:55,819 --> 01:25:57,987
drink holders.
1211
01:25:59,489 --> 01:26:04,285
A food service
will be offered.
1212
01:26:04,661 --> 01:26:08,998
With Lobud Jet,
leaving is a pleasure.
1213
01:26:25,181 --> 01:26:26,724
It's stifling in here.
1214
01:26:26,891 --> 01:26:28,726
I'm next to a jerk.
1215
01:26:30,270 --> 01:26:33,189
A champion jerk!
1216
01:26:47,078 --> 01:26:49,581
It's not by chance
1217
01:26:49,747 --> 01:26:52,750
that the KGB head
was Lionel Ritchie.
1218
01:26:56,087 --> 01:26:57,797
Sears is a family.
1219
01:26:58,715 --> 01:27:00,049
Whereas JC Penny...
1220
01:27:01,134 --> 01:27:02,594
The girls are stuck-up.
1221
01:27:03,344 --> 01:27:06,139
"I'm a JC Penny model."
1222
01:27:06,472 --> 01:27:07,724
See what I mean?
1223
01:27:09,017 --> 01:27:10,018
I see.
1224
01:27:12,395 --> 01:27:14,522
You read
Consumer Reports?
1225
01:27:14,689 --> 01:27:16,107
I get it every month.
1226
01:27:16,608 --> 01:27:17,525
It's interesting.
1227
01:27:17,942 --> 01:27:19,193
I'm afraid of lice.
1228
01:27:19,986 --> 01:27:21,321
Mom washed my head
1229
01:27:21,487 --> 01:27:22,989
with vinegar
when I got them.
1230
01:27:24,073 --> 01:27:25,950
They're little and ugly.
1231
01:27:26,326 --> 01:27:30,079
I dreamt of pinching a louse
1232
01:27:30,246 --> 01:27:32,123
and pulling off its head.
1233
01:27:47,555 --> 01:27:49,641
He's really cute.
1234
01:27:50,350 --> 01:27:52,810
Grey, with a big hairy tail...
1235
01:27:53,186 --> 01:27:54,979
When he looks at you.
1236
01:27:55,146 --> 01:27:56,314
So cute.
1237
01:27:59,859 --> 01:28:00,777
A rat!
1238
01:28:01,402 --> 01:28:04,948
We'll exchange numbers.
1239
01:28:05,406 --> 01:28:07,992
- I have no phone.
- I'll give you mine.
1240
01:28:08,159 --> 01:28:09,243
That's okay.
1241
01:28:10,370 --> 01:28:11,537
You know what?
1242
01:28:13,331 --> 01:28:15,708
You're the dullest man
after the Pope.
1243
01:28:16,209 --> 01:28:18,336
Anyone see Gwen?
1244
01:28:20,088 --> 01:28:21,381
The tall guy...
1245
01:28:23,174 --> 01:28:25,343
Did someone die?
1246
01:28:26,928 --> 01:28:28,930
This is Captain Bordier.
1247
01:28:29,180 --> 01:28:33,184
We've just landed
at JFK Int'I.
1248
01:28:34,102 --> 01:28:38,564
We hope to see you
soon on Air France.
1249
01:28:39,774 --> 01:28:41,985
See you soon...
1250
01:28:58,459 --> 01:29:03,256
Subtitles: Cynthia Schoch & Lenny Borger
1251
01:29:03,423 --> 01:29:06,175
Subtitling: C.M.C.
1252
01:29:07,176 --> 01:29:12,176
Uploaded by pukeman
oneddl.com
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