Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:06,535 --> 00:00:06,535
This programme contains some
strong language
2
00:00:11,271 --> 00:00:11,271
# Some people seem so
obsessed with the morning
3
00:00:15,532 --> 00:00:15,532
# Get up early just to
watch the sun rise
4
00:00:20,615 --> 00:00:20,615
# Some people like it more
when there's fire in the sky
5
00:00:25,012 --> 00:00:25,012
# Worship the sun when it's high
6
00:00:29,812 --> 00:00:29,812
# Some people go
for those sultry evenings
7
00:00:33,543 --> 00:00:33,543
# Sipping cocktails in the
blue, red and grey
8
00:00:37,703 --> 00:00:37,703
# But I like every minute of the day
9
00:00:47,572 --> 00:00:47,572
# I like every second,
so long as you are on my mind
10
00:00:57,292 --> 00:00:57,292
# Every moment has its special charm
11
00:01:00,295 --> 00:01:00,295
# It's all right when you're around,
rain or shine
12
00:01:07,492 --> 00:01:07,492
# The people on the hill,
they say I'm lazy
13
00:01:11,332 --> 00:01:11,332
# But when they sleep,
I sing and dance
14
00:01:16,423 --> 00:01:16,423
# Some people have to have
the sultry evenings
15
00:01:20,135 --> 00:01:20,135
# Cocktails in the
blue, red and grey
16
00:01:24,231 --> 00:01:24,231
# But I like every minute
of the day... #
17
00:01:28,012 --> 00:01:28,012
AIR WHISTLES
18
00:01:29,812 --> 00:01:29,812
EXPLOSION
19
00:01:44,263 --> 00:01:44,263
SIRENS WAIL
20
00:01:46,439 --> 00:01:46,439
DISTANT CONVERSATION
21
00:01:57,292 --> 00:01:57,292
What did I tell you about
air raids not killing people?
22
00:02:00,071 --> 00:02:00,071
My bed simply
went through the floor,
23
00:02:02,375 --> 00:02:02,375
and Plon-Plon and I went on it.
24
00:02:04,372 --> 00:02:04,372
Perfectly comfortable!
25
00:02:07,175 --> 00:02:07,175
Linda Radlett was not only
my favourite cousin...
26
00:02:12,487 --> 00:02:12,487
..but then, and for many years,
my favourite human being.
27
00:02:25,799 --> 00:02:25,799
Don't pity me, Fanny.
28
00:02:31,559 --> 00:02:31,559
I've had five months of perfect
and unalloyed happiness.
29
00:02:37,767 --> 00:02:37,767
Very few people can say that in the
course of long lives, I imagine.
30
00:02:41,332 --> 00:02:41,332
Very few.
31
00:02:44,935 --> 00:02:44,935
As we turned down the drive
at Alconleigh,
32
00:02:47,623 --> 00:02:47,623
I asked myself if Linda's five
months of perfect happiness
33
00:02:51,412 --> 00:02:51,412
were quite worth all the chaos
and confusion of the other 29 years.
34
00:02:56,647 --> 00:02:56,647
But I often thought about
things like that with Linda.
35
00:03:01,852 --> 00:03:01,852
It always feels like Christmas,
coming home.
36
00:03:06,695 --> 00:03:06,695
I know.
37
00:03:10,663 --> 00:03:10,663
Ever since I was a small child,
38
00:03:12,839 --> 00:03:12,839
I was sent to spend
the Christmas holidays with Linda
39
00:03:15,655 --> 00:03:15,655
in a large, ugly, north-facing house
high on a hill in Oxfordshire.
40
00:03:22,311 --> 00:03:22,311
Most of these Christmases
were marked with violence.
41
00:03:26,812 --> 00:03:26,812
There was the time Linda's pony
lay on her in the brook
42
00:03:29,415 --> 00:03:29,415
and nearly drowned her.
43
00:03:31,852 --> 00:03:31,852
The time she tried to kill herself
in an attempt to rejoin
44
00:03:34,983 --> 00:03:34,983
a smelly old Border terrier
which Uncle Matthew had put down.
45
00:03:39,463 --> 00:03:39,463
The time she decided to tell
46
00:03:41,452 --> 00:03:41,452
the daughters of some
neighbours the facts of life...
47
00:03:45,223 --> 00:03:45,223
..resulting in dreadful
beatings from Uncle Matthew...
48
00:03:50,343 --> 00:03:50,343
..and luncheon alone
for two whole weeks.
49
00:03:55,015 --> 00:03:55,015
Linda hated to be alone.
50
00:03:58,919 --> 00:03:58,919
She was a wild and nervous creature,
51
00:04:01,252 --> 00:04:01,252
full of passion and longing.
52
00:04:16,135 --> 00:04:16,135
But of all the Christmases,
53
00:04:18,247 --> 00:04:18,247
the Christmas I remember
the most was when we were 17,
54
00:04:22,023 --> 00:04:22,023
and Linda decided that her
life had to begin.
55
00:05:05,351 --> 00:05:05,351
CHILDREN CHATTER
56
00:05:09,575 --> 00:05:09,575
No, you can't give the dog a cake
before you give me a piece!
57
00:05:12,652 --> 00:05:12,652
That's not fair!
58
00:05:14,092 --> 00:05:14,092
I stumbled into the hall
and found Linda's mother,
59
00:05:16,679 --> 00:05:16,679
my Aunt Sadie, and the children
having tea as they always did,
60
00:05:19,943 --> 00:05:19,943
in front of the fireplace, over
which hung, as it always had,
61
00:05:23,015 --> 00:05:23,015
the entrenching tool
Uncle Matthew had used
62
00:05:24,892 --> 00:05:24,892
to whack to death eight Germans as
they crawled out of a dugout in
1915.
63
00:05:31,527 --> 00:05:31,527
Linda's father, my Uncle Matthew,
64
00:05:33,652 --> 00:05:33,652
knew no middle course.
65
00:05:34,732 --> 00:05:34,732
He either loved or he hated,
66
00:05:37,415 --> 00:05:37,415
and, generally,
it must be said, he hated.
67
00:05:40,423 --> 00:05:40,423
I hate Huns, Frogs,
Americans, Catholics
68
00:05:44,519 --> 00:05:44,519
and all other foreigners,
but above all, I hate children!
69
00:05:48,807 --> 00:05:48,807
He had four beautiful bloodhounds,
70
00:05:51,239 --> 00:05:51,239
with which, every Christmas,
71
00:05:52,647 --> 00:05:52,647
he would hunt his children,
and a pair of stock whips
72
00:05:55,399 --> 00:05:55,399
he cracked on the lawn
every morning at dawn.
73
00:05:58,132 --> 00:05:58,132
Had the Radletts been poor,
74
00:06:00,135 --> 00:06:00,135
he no doubt would have been
sent to prison for beating
75
00:06:02,823 --> 00:06:02,823
and refusing to educate them.
76
00:06:05,895 --> 00:06:05,895
Uncle Matthew loathed
educated females...
77
00:06:09,543 --> 00:06:09,543
..particularly me.
78
00:06:13,492 --> 00:06:13,492
CHILDREN:Fanny!
79
00:06:16,012 --> 00:06:16,012
Fanny!You're here!
80
00:06:18,439 --> 00:06:18,439
Fanny, welcome.
You must be exhausted.
81
00:06:21,652 --> 00:06:21,652
Come and have a cup of tea.
How was your journey?
82
00:06:23,815 --> 00:06:23,815
Come and sit in Jassy's chair.
83
00:06:25,612 --> 00:06:25,612
As always, Linda was the most
pleased to see me,
84
00:06:28,252 --> 00:06:28,252
but determined not to show it.
85
00:06:29,452 --> 00:06:29,452
Linda?
86
00:06:31,047 --> 00:06:31,047
Fanny's here.
87
00:06:32,455 --> 00:06:32,455
Would you like a cup of tea?
88
00:06:34,252 --> 00:06:34,252
Yes, please.
89
00:06:40,199 --> 00:06:40,199
Hello.
90
00:06:43,527 --> 00:06:43,527
Where's your mouse?
91
00:06:45,447 --> 00:06:45,447
Oh, she got a sore back and died.
92
00:06:48,455 --> 00:06:48,455
Had you been riding it?
93
00:06:50,332 --> 00:06:50,332
Nobody cried so much
or so often as Linda.
94
00:06:53,452 --> 00:06:53,452
That's how they always die.
It's some sort of urinary disease.
95
00:06:56,092 --> 00:06:56,092
Anything, but especially anything
about animals, would set her off.
96
00:07:02,343 --> 00:07:02,343
Her emotions were
on no ordinary plane.
97
00:07:05,159 --> 00:07:05,159
She loved or she loathed.
98
00:07:07,207 --> 00:07:07,207
She laughed or she cried.
99
00:07:08,935 --> 00:07:08,935
She lived in
a world of superlatives.
100
00:07:18,292 --> 00:07:18,292
Linda was the chairman of a secret
club called the Hons Society.
101
00:07:22,567 --> 00:07:22,567
Its headquarters was a linen
cupboard at the top of the house.
102
00:07:26,092 --> 00:07:26,092
Six.OK.
103
00:07:27,532 --> 00:07:27,532
That's great.
104
00:07:28,903 --> 00:07:28,903
Three-quarters. Well done.
105
00:07:30,892 --> 00:07:30,892
The dead mouse was
quickly forgotten.
106
00:07:32,999 --> 00:07:32,999
Even smaller than last year.
107
00:07:34,732 --> 00:07:34,732
Your hair's got long.Neck, tummy.
108
00:07:37,671 --> 00:07:37,671
One...
109
00:07:40,103 --> 00:07:40,103
Seven and a third.
110
00:07:42,727 --> 00:07:42,727
So I win on arms, eyes,
waist, ankles,
111
00:07:46,439 --> 00:07:46,439
and you win on bust.
Hmm. I hate bust.
112
00:07:49,447 --> 00:07:49,447
Farmers love busts!
113
00:07:52,327 --> 00:07:52,327
Linda and I were both in love
with people we had never met,
114
00:07:55,372 --> 00:07:55,372
I with a fat, red-faced
115
00:07:57,292 --> 00:07:57,292
middle-aged farmer I sometimes saw
116
00:07:58,983 --> 00:07:58,983
riding through the village,
117
00:08:00,839 --> 00:08:00,839
and Linda with the Prince of Wales.
118
00:08:03,655 --> 00:08:03,655
Why can't your prince and my farmer
119
00:08:06,087 --> 00:08:06,087
be invited to Louisa's ball?
120
00:08:07,495 --> 00:08:07,495
Because Matthew won't let
anyone fanciable
121
00:08:10,311 --> 00:08:10,311
within 50 miles of the house.
122
00:08:12,103 --> 00:08:12,103
A coming-out ball was planned
that Christmas
123
00:08:14,215 --> 00:08:14,215
for Linda's older sister, Louisa.
124
00:08:15,815 --> 00:08:15,815
We're trapped!
125
00:08:17,095 --> 00:08:17,095
Our only hope is the Prince
breaking down in his motor car.
126
00:08:20,487 --> 00:08:20,487
LOW-PITCHED:"Pray, who is
that beautiful young lady?
127
00:08:25,415 --> 00:08:25,415
"I wish to marry her."
128
00:08:26,631 --> 00:08:26,631
LOW-PITCHED: "Well, you can't!
She's here under lock and key!
129
00:08:29,511 --> 00:08:29,511
"I killed 15 Germans
with an entrenching tool!
130
00:08:31,879 --> 00:08:31,879
"I can certainly kill you!"
131
00:08:33,415 --> 00:08:33,415
"He must have your daughter, sir.
132
00:08:34,972 --> 00:08:34,972
"His happiness depends on it,
and subsequently,
133
00:08:37,319 --> 00:08:37,319
"so does the happiness of England."
134
00:08:41,452 --> 00:08:41,452
Even then, Linda's fantasies were
altogether more ambitious
135
00:08:44,295 --> 00:08:44,295
and dangerous than mine.
KNOCK ON DOOR
136
00:08:46,535 --> 00:08:46,535
I want to sit next to Fanny!
137
00:08:48,327 --> 00:08:48,327
Oh, you took your time!
138
00:08:49,991 --> 00:08:49,991
This better be good, Linda.It is.
139
00:08:51,911 --> 00:08:51,911
It's so hot in here.
Talk about back to the womb!
140
00:08:54,412 --> 00:08:54,412
It's more welcoming than
my mother's womb, I imagine.
141
00:08:56,967 --> 00:08:56,967
Fanny, it is unfair that you
have wicked parents and not me.
142
00:08:59,335 --> 00:08:59,335
So you aspire to being wicked
and adulterous, do you, Linda?
143
00:09:02,215 --> 00:09:02,215
No. I aspire to true love.
144
00:09:04,135 --> 00:09:04,135
The kind of which only comes once in
a lifetime and lasts for ever.
145
00:09:07,015 --> 00:09:07,015
LINDA CLEARS HER THROAT
146
00:09:09,703 --> 00:09:09,703
The news I have for the Hons today,
while of considerable Hon interest,
147
00:09:12,967 --> 00:09:12,967
generally particularly concerns...
148
00:09:16,167 --> 00:09:16,167
..Fanny!Oh!
149
00:09:19,623 --> 00:09:19,623
Aunt Emily is engaged.
150
00:09:22,252 --> 00:09:22,252
COUSINS GASP AND GIGGLE
151
00:09:24,103 --> 00:09:24,103
No, Linda, you're making it up.
152
00:09:26,023 --> 00:09:26,023
I found proof.
"My dear sister Sadie...
153
00:09:30,532 --> 00:09:30,532
"..not to tell the children
we're engaged.
154
00:09:33,575 --> 00:09:33,575
"The captain and I will arrive
late on Christmas Eve
155
00:09:36,652 --> 00:09:36,652
"and stay in time for Louisa's
party, of course.
156
00:09:39,143 --> 00:09:39,143
"All love from Emily."
157
00:09:41,452 --> 00:09:41,452
Why would she want
to get married, anyway?
158
00:09:43,303 --> 00:09:43,303
She can't love him.
159
00:09:44,647 --> 00:09:44,647
He's 40.He must be ancient.
160
00:09:47,015 --> 00:09:47,015
Maybe he'll fall in love
with Fanny.
161
00:09:48,892 --> 00:09:48,892
Aunt Emily had brought me up
ever since I was a baby.
162
00:09:52,263 --> 00:09:52,263
It had always been just her and me.
163
00:09:55,399 --> 00:09:55,399
Aunt Sadie had two sisters -
164
00:09:58,023 --> 00:09:58,023
my mother and Aunt Emily.
165
00:10:00,199 --> 00:10:00,199
At the age of 19, my mother,
166
00:10:02,951 --> 00:10:02,951
feeling herself too
beautiful and gay to be
167
00:10:05,575 --> 00:10:05,575
burdened with a baby,
left my father for another man,
168
00:10:07,815 --> 00:10:07,815
and gave me to Aunt Emily
to bring up.
169
00:10:14,092 --> 00:10:14,092
Goodbye, darling!
170
00:10:15,431 --> 00:10:15,431
My impetuous mother
subsequently ran away so often
171
00:10:17,735 --> 00:10:17,735
and with so many different men
172
00:10:19,612 --> 00:10:19,612
that she became known to her family
and friends as "The Bolter".
173
00:10:27,207 --> 00:10:27,207
There you are, darling...
174
00:10:28,871 --> 00:10:28,871
Occasionally she would reappear
like a meteor,
175
00:10:31,303 --> 00:10:31,303
showering me with her extravagance,
176
00:10:33,607 --> 00:10:33,607
and I would long to be caught
up in her fiery trails
177
00:10:36,359 --> 00:10:36,359
and be carried away...
178
00:10:39,687 --> 00:10:39,687
...but she would always vanish
off again to a new man.
179
00:10:52,615 --> 00:10:52,615
And in my heart,
I knew how lucky I was
180
00:10:55,303 --> 00:10:55,303
to have safe, reliable,
kind Aunt Emily.
181
00:11:20,711 --> 00:11:20,711
Come on, Fanny!
182
00:11:21,927 --> 00:11:21,927
Get dressed, lazybones!
183
00:11:31,655 --> 00:11:31,655
The Radletts loved animals,
184
00:11:33,895 --> 00:11:33,895
but more than anything
in the world,
185
00:11:36,172 --> 00:11:36,172
they loved to hunt foxes.
HUNTING HORN BLARES
186
00:11:38,887 --> 00:11:38,887
All away!
187
00:11:44,007 --> 00:11:44,007
LINDA LAUGHS
188
00:12:10,759 --> 00:12:10,759
Oh!
189
00:12:20,295 --> 00:12:20,295
Where is her Ladyship, your
mother, hunting this Christmas?
190
00:12:24,532 --> 00:12:24,532
She's in Paris, Josh.
191
00:12:26,332 --> 00:12:26,332
No human being like her Ladyship
I ever saw on a horse.
192
00:12:29,575 --> 00:12:29,575
And look at you.
193
00:12:31,175 --> 00:12:31,175
Jostling about in that saddle.
194
00:12:33,223 --> 00:12:33,223
Miss Linda takes after her Ladyship,
your mother, something wonderful.
195
00:12:37,639 --> 00:12:37,639
Why is that good?
196
00:12:39,175 --> 00:12:39,175
Isn't my mother supposed to
be wicked, Josh?
197
00:12:44,812 --> 00:12:44,812
BOTH:Here's Fanny!
198
00:12:48,292 --> 00:12:48,292
Darling, may I introduce you
to Captain Warbeck?
199
00:12:50,932 --> 00:12:50,932
Please only ever call me Davey.
200
00:12:54,412 --> 00:12:54,412
He looked different
with his clothes on.
201
00:12:56,967 --> 00:12:56,967
You must find it a terrible joke,
old people like us getting married.
202
00:13:04,903 --> 00:13:04,903
No, of course not.
203
00:13:12,775 --> 00:13:12,775
Captain David Warbeck.
204
00:13:17,383 --> 00:13:17,383
He doesn't look much like
a military man.
205
00:13:19,303 --> 00:13:19,303
Or a marrying one,
for that matter.
206
00:13:21,772 --> 00:13:21,772
Can't see him killing any Germans
with an entrenching tool.
207
00:13:24,892 --> 00:13:24,892
Hm.
208
00:13:30,183 --> 00:13:30,183
Ah...
209
00:13:31,399 --> 00:13:31,399
WATER SPLASHES
Ooh.
210
00:13:34,407 --> 00:13:34,407
Matthew is frightening,
and I disapprove of him so,
211
00:13:38,695 --> 00:13:38,695
but in a way I feel he sets
the bar for English manhood.
212
00:13:44,519 --> 00:13:44,519
Don't be sad.
213
00:13:46,183 --> 00:13:46,183
Yeah, but it's always been
just me and Emily.
214
00:13:48,679 --> 00:13:48,679
You'll always have boring old me!
215
00:13:59,367 --> 00:13:59,367
Did you know that ducks can only
copulate in running water?
216
00:14:04,852 --> 00:14:04,852
No.
217
00:14:06,087 --> 00:14:06,087
Good luck to them.
218
00:14:07,879 --> 00:14:07,879
WHISPERS: Aunt Emily
copulated last night.
219
00:14:11,143 --> 00:14:11,143
They were all twisted around
each other
220
00:14:13,612 --> 00:14:13,612
when I went in there this morning.
221
00:14:15,052 --> 00:14:15,052
Really?!
222
00:14:17,692 --> 00:14:17,692
Oh, God! How? Show me! Show me how!
223
00:14:21,703 --> 00:14:21,703
You're sex obsessed.
I know, it's true.
224
00:14:24,327 --> 00:14:24,327
I masturbate every time I
think about Lady Jane Grey.
225
00:14:28,012 --> 00:14:28,012
And I think about her
all the time!
226
00:14:30,023 --> 00:14:30,023
FANNY SHRIEKS
Fanny!
227
00:14:32,647 --> 00:14:32,647
BOTH LAUGH
228
00:14:34,439 --> 00:14:34,439
HE GUFFAWS
229
00:14:36,423 --> 00:14:36,423
Davey! You are a clever cove!
230
00:14:40,583 --> 00:14:40,583
He says these Charles II
salt-shakers
231
00:14:43,207 --> 00:14:43,207
we thought we'd had
in the family for 300 years
232
00:14:45,447 --> 00:14:45,447
are really Georgian imitations,
not valuable at all!
233
00:14:48,071 --> 00:14:48,071
HE BANGS ON TABLE
234
00:14:51,591 --> 00:14:51,591
Children, you are so lucky
235
00:14:54,292 --> 00:14:54,292
to be related to this
extraordinary fellow.
236
00:14:57,223 --> 00:14:57,223
Yes, he's a terrific Hon.
237
00:15:00,295 --> 00:15:00,295
Oh, um, well, we have
a Hons Society.
238
00:15:03,815 --> 00:15:03,815
If you're a member,
you're honourable,
239
00:15:06,652 --> 00:15:06,652
and our enemies are
Counter Hons.
240
00:15:08,487 --> 00:15:08,487
I'm honoured to be a Hon!
241
00:15:12,007 --> 00:15:12,007
Davey, maybe you can influence Emily
on the subject of female education.
242
00:15:17,255 --> 00:15:17,255
It's done Fanny absolutely no good
whatsoever, as far as I can tell.
243
00:15:21,223 --> 00:15:21,223
She's picked up some dreadful
expressions
244
00:15:23,015 --> 00:15:23,015
from that school of hers.
245
00:15:24,359 --> 00:15:24,359
Very likely she did.
246
00:15:25,767 --> 00:15:25,767
Awful words like "mantelpiece"
and "notepaper"
247
00:15:29,095 --> 00:15:29,095
keep coming out of her mouth,
and her poor husband,
248
00:15:31,527 --> 00:15:31,527
if she ever gets one...
249
00:15:33,447 --> 00:15:33,447
A lot of men would find it
more irritating
250
00:15:35,239 --> 00:15:35,239
to have a wife who'd never
heard of George III,
251
00:15:37,735 --> 00:15:37,735
or been allowed off their
family premises to pursue
252
00:15:40,423 --> 00:15:40,423
any sort of normal life.
253
00:15:42,343 --> 00:15:42,343
They have absolutely everything
they will ever need here!
254
00:15:45,415 --> 00:15:45,415
Church, stables, tennis court.
255
00:15:47,463 --> 00:15:47,463
Why would they ever want to leave?
256
00:15:49,767 --> 00:15:49,767
You don't have to go to some awful
middle-class establishment
257
00:15:52,519 --> 00:15:52,519
to learn who George III was.
258
00:15:54,652 --> 00:15:54,652
Anyway, who was he, Fanny?Hmm?
259
00:16:01,927 --> 00:16:01,927
He was King.
260
00:16:04,871 --> 00:16:04,871
And he went mad and...
261
00:16:11,271 --> 00:16:11,271
Most illuminating.
262
00:16:13,383 --> 00:16:13,383
Well worth losing every ounce
of feminine charm
263
00:16:16,199 --> 00:16:16,199
to learn that, I must say, Fanny.
264
00:16:18,892 --> 00:16:18,892
Thighs like gateposts from
playing hockey,
265
00:16:21,127 --> 00:16:21,127
and the worst seat on a horse
of any woman I've ever seen.
266
00:16:23,815 --> 00:16:23,815
Linda, you're uneducated,
thank God.
267
00:16:27,412 --> 00:16:27,412
What do you have to say
about George III?
268
00:16:31,623 --> 00:16:31,623
Well, he was the son
of poor Fred and...
269
00:16:35,572 --> 00:16:35,572
..oh, he was the father
of Beau Brummell's fat friend.
270
00:16:38,092 --> 00:16:38,092
Oh, and he was one of those
vacillators, you know?
271
00:16:41,932 --> 00:16:41,932
I am his Highness's dog at Kew
272
00:16:44,743 --> 00:16:44,743
Pray tell me, sir, whose dog
are you?
273
00:16:46,919 --> 00:16:46,919
Ooh! How sweet!
274
00:16:50,823 --> 00:16:50,823
Oh... No, and Fanny doesn't
have thighs like gateposts.
275
00:16:53,895 --> 00:16:53,895
Her thighs are perfect.
276
00:17:00,295 --> 00:17:00,295
I'd like to go to school.
277
00:17:02,092 --> 00:17:02,092
Oh, do shut up!
278
00:17:06,439 --> 00:17:06,439
Matthew's trapped
his daughters here.
279
00:17:09,319 --> 00:17:09,319
They manage to bridge
gulfs of ignorance
280
00:17:11,815 --> 00:17:11,815
with charm and high spirits
281
00:17:14,092 --> 00:17:14,092
and odds and ends of knowledge
they've picked up.
282
00:17:17,383 --> 00:17:17,383
You're better off
not being like Linda.
283
00:17:20,263 --> 00:17:20,263
She lacks all discipline.
284
00:17:22,695 --> 00:17:22,695
Could easily come to nothing.
285
00:17:25,511 --> 00:17:25,511
She does remind me of The Bolter.
286
00:17:28,372 --> 00:17:28,372
I don't want her to come to nothing.
287
00:17:32,332 --> 00:17:32,332
No.
288
00:17:33,703 --> 00:17:33,703
WOMAN SINGS ARIA
289
00:17:35,572 --> 00:17:35,572
DISTANT CRACK
290
00:17:38,247 --> 00:17:38,247
CRACKING CONTINUES
291
00:17:41,959 --> 00:17:41,959
HE SINGS ALONG TO ARIA
292
00:17:54,892 --> 00:17:54,892
ARIA CONTINUES
293
00:17:57,191 --> 00:17:57,191
HE SINGS ALONG
294
00:18:08,135 --> 00:18:08,135
ARIA REACHES CRESCENDO
295
00:18:10,183 --> 00:18:10,183
HE SINGS ALONG TUNELESSLY
296
00:18:12,652 --> 00:18:12,652
MUSIC CONTINUES
297
00:18:14,855 --> 00:18:14,855
WHIP CRACKS
298
00:18:24,455 --> 00:18:24,455
LINDA LAUGHS
299
00:18:27,847 --> 00:18:27,847
FANNY WHIMPERS
300
00:18:32,692 --> 00:18:32,692
Please don't bolt.
Don't ever leave me.
301
00:18:35,399 --> 00:18:35,399
Why would I bolt when I'm going
to marry the Prince of Wales?
302
00:18:38,663 --> 00:18:38,663
And have a train 40 feet long.
303
00:18:42,055 --> 00:18:42,055
12 bridesmaids.
304
00:18:43,911 --> 00:18:43,911
And you'll be the chief one.
305
00:18:45,772 --> 00:18:45,772
What happens then?
306
00:18:47,495 --> 00:18:47,495
You'll be happily ever after,
and what about me?
307
00:18:49,863 --> 00:18:49,863
You'll be with me.
308
00:18:53,383 --> 00:18:53,383
Chatting and having baths,
like always,
309
00:18:56,263 --> 00:18:56,263
and being wise and clever
and funny and kind
310
00:18:59,975 --> 00:18:59,975
and the best thing there is,
311
00:19:02,023 --> 00:19:02,023
because you know I'm lost
without you.
312
00:19:06,183 --> 00:19:06,183
What if you die?
313
00:19:07,852 --> 00:19:07,852
I won't die!
314
00:19:10,372 --> 00:19:10,372
I'm not that sort of person.
315
00:19:17,127 --> 00:19:17,127
Darling Linda,
316
00:19:19,495 --> 00:19:19,495
I'm going to drag you
out of this place for ever
317
00:19:22,311 --> 00:19:22,311
and copulate with you in running
water like a divine duck,
318
00:19:25,703 --> 00:19:25,703
and my goodness,
how you'll live!
319
00:19:28,391 --> 00:19:28,391
We don't want strangers here,
anyway, stinking the place up.
320
00:19:32,103 --> 00:19:32,103
Well, you'll have to do something,
321
00:19:33,831 --> 00:19:33,831
or there'll be no men at all at your
oldest daughter's coming-out ball.
322
00:19:36,967 --> 00:19:36,967
Oh, shut up!
There's Josh the groom!
323
00:19:39,207 --> 00:19:39,207
And I've plenty of friends
in the House of Lords
324
00:19:41,212 --> 00:19:41,212
who'll be happy to come
if I promise them a shoot.
325
00:19:44,263 --> 00:19:44,263
RECORD PLAYS
326
00:19:47,932 --> 00:19:47,932
Despite his suspicion
of strangers,
327
00:19:50,215 --> 00:19:50,215
Uncle Matthew couldn't do
anything to stop
328
00:19:52,612 --> 00:19:52,612
the day of Louisa's ball arriving.
329
00:19:53,991 --> 00:19:53,991
LOUISA CLEARS HER THROAT
330
00:20:08,007 --> 00:20:08,007
As promised,
Louisa's dance partners
331
00:20:10,503 --> 00:20:10,503
were Uncle Matthew's friends
from the House of Lords...
332
00:20:19,335 --> 00:20:19,335
..and Josh the groom.
333
00:20:24,652 --> 00:20:24,652
Ow!
334
00:20:25,671 --> 00:20:25,671
Oh, so sorry.
Oh, no, no, it's fine.
335
00:20:27,532 --> 00:20:27,532
QUIET CONVERSATION
336
00:20:29,383 --> 00:20:29,383
FOOTSTEPS THUD
337
00:20:36,487 --> 00:20:36,487
You're very patient.
338
00:20:37,972 --> 00:20:37,972
Thank you.
339
00:20:45,191 --> 00:20:45,191
SHE YAWNS
340
00:20:48,903 --> 00:20:48,903
All so small and ugly.
341
00:20:52,295 --> 00:20:52,295
Old and ugly!
342
00:21:04,135 --> 00:21:04,135
The evening was saved from utter
disillusionment by a late arrival...
343
00:21:11,452 --> 00:21:11,452
..Alconleigh's nearest neighbour.
344
00:21:14,092 --> 00:21:14,092
# Pawn of none
345
00:21:16,492 --> 00:21:16,492
# Born with steel reins on the heart
346
00:21:20,647 --> 00:21:20,647
# Of the sun... #
347
00:21:22,612 --> 00:21:22,612
Lord Merlin was an artist,
a musician
348
00:21:26,663 --> 00:21:26,663
and a patron of all the young.
349
00:21:28,647 --> 00:21:28,647
# Exalted companion
of cocaine nights
350
00:21:33,772 --> 00:21:33,772
# Cos he's a Dandy in the Underworld
351
00:21:37,799 --> 00:21:37,799
# Dandy in the Underworld... #
352
00:21:41,895 --> 00:21:41,895
What a set!
353
00:21:45,735 --> 00:21:45,735
It was rumoured he had
two black whippets
354
00:21:47,847 --> 00:21:47,847
who wore diamond necklaces,
and a playhouse in the garden
355
00:21:51,175 --> 00:21:51,175
where he put on such extravagances
as Dada plays from Paris
356
00:21:54,532 --> 00:21:54,532
and jazz poetry from Harlem.
357
00:21:59,047 --> 00:21:59,047
Uncle Matthew loathed him.
358
00:22:02,631 --> 00:22:02,631
There's a man carrying a comb!
359
00:22:06,772 --> 00:22:06,772
Davey!
360
00:22:08,263 --> 00:22:08,263
# To destruction he fell
361
00:22:10,732 --> 00:22:10,732
# Now he forever stalks
the ancient mansions of hell
362
00:22:16,199 --> 00:22:16,199
# Cos he's a Dandy in the Underworld
363
00:22:20,231 --> 00:22:20,231
# Dandy in the Underworld
364
00:22:23,111 --> 00:22:23,111
# When will he come up for air? #
365
00:22:27,207 --> 00:22:27,207
I can introduce you, if you like.
366
00:22:29,575 --> 00:22:29,575
No, Davey.
367
00:22:31,623 --> 00:22:31,623
Our dresses are too bad.
368
00:22:35,692 --> 00:22:35,692
# Sha-la shoo-be-doo
369
00:22:38,343 --> 00:22:38,343
# Sha-la
shoo-be-doo
370
00:22:41,479 --> 00:22:41,479
# Sha-la shoo-be-doo, ahh! #
371
00:22:44,812 --> 00:22:44,812
I'm going to the cupboard.
372
00:22:46,855 --> 00:22:46,855
Yes, me too.
373
00:22:48,135 --> 00:22:48,135
# Sha-la shoo-be-doo
374
00:22:50,503 --> 00:22:50,503
# Sha-la
shoo-be-doo
375
00:22:53,383 --> 00:22:53,383
# Sha-la shoo-be-doo, ahh!
376
00:22:58,612 --> 00:22:58,612
# Cos he's a Dandy in the Underworld
377
00:23:02,092 --> 00:23:02,092
# Dandy in the Underworld
378
00:23:05,351 --> 00:23:05,351
# When will he come up for air?
379
00:23:09,772 --> 00:23:09,772
# Oh, will anybody ever care?
380
00:23:16,295 --> 00:23:16,295
# Cos he's a Dandy in the Underworld
381
00:23:20,007 --> 00:23:20,007
# Dandy in the Underworld... #
382
00:23:38,183 --> 00:23:38,183
I'm officially renouncing
His Royal Highness.
383
00:23:41,212 --> 00:23:41,212
From now on I will devote myself
384
00:23:42,892 --> 00:23:42,892
to being one of those bright
young things of Merlin's.
385
00:23:46,823 --> 00:23:46,823
Merlin's friends are more
in my mother's...orbit.
386
00:23:51,052 --> 00:23:51,052
Oh, they're so beautiful
and sophisticated.
387
00:23:57,772 --> 00:23:57,772
Don't you just...
SHE KISSES
388
00:24:00,199 --> 00:24:00,199
..ache for life
to be exciting, like this?
389
00:24:03,532 --> 00:24:03,532
Hm. I think I'd like to
observe exciting things.
390
00:24:07,132 --> 00:24:07,132
LINDA SIGHS
391
00:24:08,332 --> 00:24:08,332
If only there were exciting things!
392
00:24:10,759 --> 00:24:10,759
You!
393
00:24:11,783 --> 00:24:11,783
You're an exciting thing!
394
00:24:14,407 --> 00:24:14,407
LINDA LAUGHS
You are!
395
00:24:18,772 --> 00:24:18,772
We are.
396
00:24:23,879 --> 00:24:23,879
SHE KISSES
397
00:24:25,799 --> 00:24:25,799
We do everything together.
398
00:24:30,412 --> 00:24:30,412
I'd be lost without you.
399
00:24:38,599 --> 00:24:38,599
But the brief appearance
of Lord Merlin's house party
400
00:24:41,543 --> 00:24:41,543
only made the walls of Linda's
fortress appear higher than ever.
401
00:24:45,532 --> 00:24:45,532
She became paralysed in
her longing for life and love,
402
00:24:48,967 --> 00:24:48,967
and all she could do
was lie about waiting for it.
403
00:24:52,423 --> 00:24:52,423
CLOCK TICKS
404
00:24:55,815 --> 00:24:55,815
What's the time, darling?Guess.
405
00:24:58,055 --> 00:24:58,055
Quarter to six.Better than that.
406
00:25:00,772 --> 00:25:00,772
Six.Not quite so good.
407
00:25:02,663 --> 00:25:02,663
Five to.Yes!
408
00:25:04,263 --> 00:25:04,263
It's forever until we come out!
409
00:25:07,852 --> 00:25:07,852
I can't live that long!
410
00:25:09,772 --> 00:25:09,772
"As long as she thinks of a man,
411
00:25:12,135 --> 00:25:12,135
"nobody objects to a woman
thinking."
412
00:25:13,972 --> 00:25:13,972
That's what Virginia Woolf
has to say.
413
00:25:16,423 --> 00:25:16,423
Well, then, no-one will object,
cos I only think about men.
414
00:25:19,012 --> 00:25:19,012
Maybe that's because you
haven't been educated properly.
415
00:25:21,415 --> 00:25:21,415
Or maybe it's because
everything else is boring!
416
00:25:23,812 --> 00:25:23,812
What is it you actually want?
417
00:25:26,092 --> 00:25:26,092
SHE SIGHS
I want to escape!
418
00:25:30,412 --> 00:25:30,412
And have fun and wear high heels
and go to the cinema
419
00:25:36,071 --> 00:25:36,071
and have sex and be adored by a man
and be in love!
420
00:25:40,935 --> 00:25:40,935
What do you want?
421
00:25:48,772 --> 00:25:48,772
Is life only about love?
422
00:25:51,431 --> 00:25:51,431
Oh.Yes!
423
00:25:59,815 --> 00:25:59,815
Louisa's dance had
an unexpected sequel.
424
00:26:13,447 --> 00:26:13,447
I don't know why you'd
want to marry someone so old.
425
00:26:19,527 --> 00:26:19,527
Louisa, half his hair
has slipped off his head,
426
00:26:21,772 --> 00:26:21,772
like an eiderdown off the bed!
427
00:26:23,367 --> 00:26:23,367
He's only 45.And you're 18!
428
00:26:26,092 --> 00:26:26,092
If he was a dog,
you'd have to put him down.
429
00:26:28,252 --> 00:26:28,252
I'm happy for
the first time in my life!
430
00:26:31,132 --> 00:26:31,132
I'm getting out...for ever.
431
00:26:32,812 --> 00:26:32,812
And you're going to be
stuck here, Linda,
432
00:26:34,612 --> 00:26:34,612
hunting and walking the
dogs with Fa.
433
00:26:36,551 --> 00:26:36,551
That's what comes of being
the favourite.
434
00:26:38,572 --> 00:26:38,572
Shut up!Don't you think
you're a bit too old
435
00:26:40,263 --> 00:26:40,263
to be sitting in a cupboard?
No, not really.
436
00:26:45,575 --> 00:26:45,575
I'm not having any bridesmaids,
by the way,
437
00:26:47,572 --> 00:26:47,572
so don't worry about your dresses.
438
00:26:49,415 --> 00:26:49,415
What?
439
00:26:50,887 --> 00:26:50,887
I'm not going to be upstaged on my
wedding day, thank you very much!
440
00:26:53,703 --> 00:26:53,703
Ohh! You're not having any
bridesmaids?
441
00:26:56,932 --> 00:26:56,932
No.You can't think how stupid
you're going to look from behind!
442
00:27:04,455 --> 00:27:04,455
Oh.
443
00:27:06,183 --> 00:27:06,183
Linda was really very jealous.
444
00:27:15,015 --> 00:27:15,015
Shall we go, then, Papa?
Yes, let's go.
445
00:27:20,903 --> 00:27:20,903
She looks like the eldest and
ugliest of the Bronte sisters.
446
00:27:24,935 --> 00:27:24,935
At that moment,
447
00:27:26,215 --> 00:27:26,215
I think Linda would have gladly
changed places with Louisa,
448
00:27:28,972 --> 00:27:28,972
even at the very heavy cost
449
00:27:30,567 --> 00:27:30,567
of living happily ever after with
John Fort-William.
450
00:27:33,447 --> 00:27:33,447
I want to die!
451
00:27:34,855 --> 00:27:34,855
Unless life begins absolutely
right now, I want to die!
452
00:27:39,975 --> 00:27:39,975
Push me, will you?
453
00:27:41,383 --> 00:27:41,383
Can you please...? Can you get
down, Linda, it's really high.
454
00:27:44,332 --> 00:27:44,332
LINDA GASPS
455
00:27:49,732 --> 00:27:49,732
If only it weren't such
a difficult thing to do.
456
00:27:52,071 --> 00:27:52,071
PHONE RINGS
457
00:27:53,735 --> 00:27:53,735
It's hard enough to kill
a rabbit, let alone oneself.
458
00:27:56,039 --> 00:27:56,039
SHE SIGHS
459
00:27:57,575 --> 00:27:57,575
It's that hog Merlin!
460
00:27:59,452 --> 00:27:59,452
I won't have my home filled
with Merlin's dago friends!
461
00:28:03,335 --> 00:28:03,335
I hear he has Frogs there too!
462
00:28:05,383 --> 00:28:05,383
I won't have Frogs or dagos
under any circumstances!
463
00:28:07,815 --> 00:28:07,815
Hello, Merlin.
464
00:28:09,223 --> 00:28:09,223
Oh, lunch would be lovely.
465
00:28:13,895 --> 00:28:13,895
WINGS FLAP
466
00:28:22,855 --> 00:28:22,855
What sort of birds are they?
467
00:28:24,903 --> 00:28:24,903
Just ordinary pigeons.
468
00:28:27,052 --> 00:28:27,052
Where do you get them that colour?
469
00:28:30,343 --> 00:28:30,343
I dye them. Every year.
470
00:28:32,583 --> 00:28:32,583
Dry them in the linen cupboard.
471
00:28:34,375 --> 00:28:34,375
Isn't that frightfully cruel?
Oh, no, they love it.
472
00:28:36,807 --> 00:28:36,807
They love it. It makes them
so pretty for each other.
473
00:28:39,303 --> 00:28:39,303
What about their poor little eyes?
Oh, they soon learn to shut them.
474
00:28:44,212 --> 00:28:44,212
I see you're taken with my silly old
Romantic Antoine Watteaus.
475
00:28:49,372 --> 00:28:49,372
Love isn't silly.
476
00:28:51,052 --> 00:28:51,052
Linda!It's my religion.
477
00:28:52,935 --> 00:28:52,935
AUNT SADIE SIGHS
478
00:28:55,972 --> 00:28:55,972
Is it really?
479
00:28:57,607 --> 00:28:57,607
That's all she can think about.
It's really rather alarming.
480
00:29:00,423 --> 00:29:00,423
WINGS FLAP
Oh!
481
00:29:02,092 --> 00:29:02,092
Gertie, leave her alone.
I'm so sorry.
482
00:29:04,903 --> 00:29:04,903
No, um...
I try to tell the girls
483
00:29:08,572 --> 00:29:08,572
that they've got to consider
practicalities.
484
00:29:10,983 --> 00:29:10,983
They've got to write down how they'd
run a household on £200 a year.
485
00:29:15,463 --> 00:29:15,463
Linda always just puts
"£199 - flowers".
486
00:29:18,727 --> 00:29:18,727
OTHERS LAUGH
487
00:29:20,711 --> 00:29:20,711
What lessons are you doing?
488
00:29:25,383 --> 00:29:25,383
None at all.
489
00:29:27,943 --> 00:29:27,943
Pa thinks that girls get fat
thighs from playing hockey
490
00:29:30,532 --> 00:29:30,532
if they go to school, but not that
Fanny has fat thighs.
491
00:29:32,935 --> 00:29:32,935
Hers are perfect.
492
00:29:34,279 --> 00:29:34,279
No, no, no, no, no. Linda...
493
00:29:38,183 --> 00:29:38,183
..you need...
494
00:29:40,252 --> 00:29:40,252
..educating.
495
00:29:41,895 --> 00:29:41,895
Yeah, that's what I said,
496
00:29:44,007 --> 00:29:44,007
but she doesn't listen to me.
497
00:29:55,975 --> 00:29:55,975
MUSIC OVER CONVERSATION
498
00:30:37,852 --> 00:30:37,852
LINDA SIGHS
499
00:30:44,295 --> 00:30:44,295
You have an intensely
romantic character.
500
00:30:48,263 --> 00:30:48,263
Hm.
501
00:30:49,287 --> 00:30:49,287
I see trouble ahead.
502
00:30:54,343 --> 00:30:54,343
I urge upon you the necessity
503
00:30:56,455 --> 00:30:56,455
for an intellectual background,
Linda.
504
00:31:00,679 --> 00:31:00,679
Hm!
505
00:31:02,092 --> 00:31:02,092
Although I fear...
506
00:31:04,852 --> 00:31:04,852
..it may already be too late.
507
00:31:11,367 --> 00:31:11,367
LORD MERLIN CHUCKLES
508
00:31:18,215 --> 00:31:18,215
Come on, then.
509
00:31:26,343 --> 00:31:26,343
For a while, Linda followed his
advice, finding comfort in books
510
00:31:30,247 --> 00:31:30,247
and things other than
the desperate pursuit of love,
511
00:31:34,372 --> 00:31:34,372
But finally, inevitably,
512
00:31:36,532 --> 00:31:36,532
the minutes turned to hours,
the hours to weeks,
513
00:31:39,207 --> 00:31:39,207
the weeks to months,
514
00:31:40,743 --> 00:31:40,743
and the impossible happened.
515
00:31:44,007 --> 00:31:44,007
CLOCK CHIMES
516
00:32:05,895 --> 00:32:05,895
We'd attained the great golden
goal of every childhood.
517
00:32:11,335 --> 00:32:11,335
We'd grown up.
518
00:32:58,503 --> 00:32:58,503
Would you like to dance?
519
00:33:02,151 --> 00:33:02,151
Yes, I would.
520
00:33:16,423 --> 00:33:16,423
Tony Kroesig - in his last year at
Oxford, a member of the Bullingdon.
521
00:33:20,967 --> 00:33:20,967
A splendid young man
with plenty of beautiful horses
522
00:33:23,271 --> 00:33:23,271
and exquisite clothes,
523
00:33:25,063 --> 00:33:25,063
he had already
a strong air of pomposity,
524
00:33:27,559 --> 00:33:27,559
a thing which Linda had never
come across before...
525
00:33:29,812 --> 00:33:29,812
It's awfully muddy where you live.
Hm!
526
00:33:31,975 --> 00:33:31,975
I hope your chauffeur knows
how to park a Rolls-Royce!
527
00:33:35,239 --> 00:33:35,239
BOTH LAUGH
528
00:33:37,415 --> 00:33:37,415
Yes.
529
00:33:39,143 --> 00:33:39,143
..and which she found
not unattractive.
530
00:33:58,023 --> 00:33:58,023
Who's that sewer with Linda?
531
00:34:01,671 --> 00:34:01,671
Kroesig. Governor of
the Bank of England - his son.
532
00:34:05,703 --> 00:34:05,703
Kroesig?!
533
00:34:07,751 --> 00:34:07,751
Good God!
534
00:34:10,612 --> 00:34:10,612
Never expected to be harbouring
a full-blooded Hun in the house!
535
00:34:13,895 --> 00:34:13,895
Matthew, dear, don't get excited.
The Kroesigs aren't Huns.
536
00:34:17,863 --> 00:34:17,863
They're a highly respected
family of bankers.
537
00:34:20,167 --> 00:34:20,167
They've been over here
for generations.
538
00:34:22,132 --> 00:34:22,132
Once a Hun, always a Hun.
539
00:34:23,623 --> 00:34:23,623
Good God!
540
00:34:27,052 --> 00:34:27,052
Does he know I still have
an entrenching tool
541
00:34:29,063 --> 00:34:29,063
I used to whack eight
of his countrymen to death?
542
00:34:31,012 --> 00:34:31,012
I don't suppose he does.
543
00:34:37,012 --> 00:34:37,012
I always said Merlin would bring
foreigners here eventually.
544
00:34:40,519 --> 00:34:40,519
I never thought he'd land us
with an actual German!
545
00:35:14,247 --> 00:35:14,247
Oh, no, look! The poor rabbit!
546
00:35:18,087 --> 00:35:18,087
SHE GASPS
547
00:35:34,279 --> 00:35:34,279
Oh!
548
00:35:40,012 --> 00:35:40,012
This was the one romantic
gesture of Tony's life.
549
00:35:42,791 --> 00:35:42,791
SHE SIGHS
550
00:35:45,671 --> 00:35:45,671
Tony went back to Oxford,
551
00:35:47,335 --> 00:35:47,335
and Linda sat about waiting
for the telephone bell.
552
00:35:52,012 --> 00:35:52,012
If this comes out...
553
00:35:55,015 --> 00:35:55,015
..he'll ring tomorrow.
554
00:36:01,095 --> 00:36:01,095
If this comes out...
555
00:36:04,492 --> 00:36:04,492
..he'll be at the meet.
556
00:36:06,172 --> 00:36:06,172
SHE SIGHS
557
00:36:07,972 --> 00:36:07,972
If this comes out...
558
00:36:09,415 --> 00:36:09,415
..he's thinking of me
at this very minute.
559
00:36:11,692 --> 00:36:11,692
PHONE RINGS
560
00:36:13,319 --> 00:36:13,319
SHE GASPS
561
00:36:18,772 --> 00:36:18,772
Hello.
562
00:36:20,423 --> 00:36:20,423
Hello. Is that Linda?
563
00:36:23,367 --> 00:36:23,367
It's Tony Kroesig here.
564
00:36:25,132 --> 00:36:25,132
Hello, Tony.
565
00:36:27,015 --> 00:36:27,015
Listen, will you come to lunch?
566
00:36:28,615 --> 00:36:28,615
Christchurch, next Thursday,
one o'clock?
567
00:36:30,727 --> 00:36:30,727
Oh, but...Fa doesn't let us alone
with young men unchaperoned.
568
00:36:34,375 --> 00:36:34,375
He doesn't really let us out,
full stop.
569
00:36:36,487 --> 00:36:36,487
Really?
HE LAUGHS
570
00:36:38,471 --> 00:36:38,471
You seem too old
for that sort of restriction.
571
00:36:40,327 --> 00:36:40,327
Um... Bring your cousin if you like.
572
00:36:43,143 --> 00:36:43,143
All right!
573
00:36:44,935 --> 00:36:44,935
That'd be lovely.
SHE MOUTHS
574
00:36:46,791 --> 00:36:46,791
Bye.Goodbye.
575
00:36:48,652 --> 00:36:48,652
You can't go, because Matthew
will throttle you.
576
00:36:51,783 --> 00:36:51,783
I will actually die if I don't go,
577
00:36:53,932 --> 00:36:53,932
so, you see,
I'd be dead either way.
578
00:36:57,863 --> 00:36:57,863
We have to escape
the fortress, Fanny.
579
00:37:00,172 --> 00:37:00,172
There was only one way
we could devise to escape,
580
00:37:03,495 --> 00:37:03,495
and it was full of risk.
581
00:37:04,732 --> 00:37:04,732
A very dull girl of exactly our age
582
00:37:07,372 --> 00:37:07,372
called Lavender Davis
583
00:37:09,063 --> 00:37:09,063
lived with her very dull parents
about five miles away.
584
00:37:12,583 --> 00:37:12,583
Once in a blue moon, Linda,
complaining vociferously,
585
00:37:16,167 --> 00:37:16,167
was sent over to
luncheon with them,
586
00:37:19,132 --> 00:37:19,132
driving herself in
Sadie's little car.
587
00:37:23,975 --> 00:37:23,975
Why are you two dressed up
for breakfast?
588
00:37:26,407 --> 00:37:26,407
Lavender Davis wants us
to go over to lunch there.
589
00:37:28,903 --> 00:37:28,903
Oh, duck, you can't have
the car, I'm afraid.
590
00:37:31,143 --> 00:37:31,143
Perkins is going to wash it.
591
00:37:32,812 --> 00:37:32,812
But, Mummy, you don't...
you don't understand.
592
00:37:35,367 --> 00:37:35,367
The whole point is that a man's
coming who brought up a baby badger.
593
00:37:38,823 --> 00:37:38,823
And I do so want to meet him.
594
00:37:40,679 --> 00:37:40,679
When we go to London
for the season,
595
00:37:42,983 --> 00:37:42,983
you'll barely have
time for a badger.
596
00:37:45,415 --> 00:37:45,415
Badgers are nocturnal anyway,
so you wouldn't even see it.
597
00:37:49,575 --> 00:37:49,575
Good point...
598
00:37:50,983 --> 00:37:50,983
Darling Jassy, lend me
your running-away money.
599
00:37:54,892 --> 00:37:54,892
What? No.
600
00:37:56,871 --> 00:37:56,871
I've saved and scraped
ever since I was seven
601
00:38:00,135 --> 00:38:00,135
for when I plan to
run away myself.
602
00:38:02,183 --> 00:38:02,183
I've no education or training,
so I'll need every penny.
603
00:38:04,615 --> 00:38:04,615
Just enough for a couple of
train tickets to Oxford.
604
00:38:07,687 --> 00:38:07,687
Darling, I'll give it all back.
605
00:38:09,863 --> 00:38:09,863
Tony will.
606
00:38:11,143 --> 00:38:11,143
I know men.
607
00:38:13,575 --> 00:38:13,575
Who has a badger?
608
00:38:15,052 --> 00:38:15,052
Last time,
you said you didn't mind
609
00:38:16,775 --> 00:38:16,775
if you never saw the Davises
again in your whole life!
610
00:38:19,252 --> 00:38:19,252
Oh, dear.
611
00:38:20,812 --> 00:38:20,812
You said you wanted to bash
Lavender Davis's face in
612
00:38:23,495 --> 00:38:23,495
with a mallet.
613
00:38:24,583 --> 00:38:24,583
AUNT SADIE:
Yes, she did say that.
614
00:38:26,247 --> 00:38:26,247
Come on, Fanny. Let's go!
615
00:38:28,132 --> 00:38:28,132
It's barely nine o'clock
in the morning! Girls!
616
00:38:31,175 --> 00:38:31,175
BOTH GIGGLE
617
00:38:33,052 --> 00:38:33,052
MUSIC: Deceptacon by Le Tigre
618
00:38:42,567 --> 00:38:42,567
# Every day and night
619
00:38:45,772 --> 00:38:45,772
# Every day and night
620
00:38:48,652 --> 00:38:48,652
# I can see your disco disco dick
621
00:38:51,892 --> 00:38:51,892
# Is sucking my heart out of my mind
622
00:38:54,535 --> 00:38:54,535
# I'm outta time,
I'm outta fucking time
623
00:38:57,415 --> 00:38:57,415
# I'm a gasoline gut with
a vaseline mind
624
00:39:00,551 --> 00:39:00,551
# Wanna disco?
Wanna see me disco...? #
625
00:39:03,943 --> 00:39:03,943
BOTH SHRIEK
626
00:39:06,183 --> 00:39:06,183
# One, two, three, four
627
00:39:09,575 --> 00:39:09,575
# You got what you been asking for
628
00:39:12,052 --> 00:39:12,052
# You're so policy free and
629
00:39:13,671 --> 00:39:13,671
# Your fantasy wheels
and everything you think
630
00:39:16,295 --> 00:39:16,295
# And everything you feel
631
00:39:17,932 --> 00:39:17,932
# Is all right, all right,
all right, all... #
632
00:39:21,223 --> 00:39:21,223
BELL RINGS
633
00:39:23,212 --> 00:39:23,212
WHISPERS: They're so serious.
It's like church.
634
00:39:27,495 --> 00:39:27,495
Do you think that we
would be as clever?
635
00:39:29,452 --> 00:39:29,452
If you evened it all out, I mean.
636
00:39:32,359 --> 00:39:32,359
MAN CALLS OUT:Bath time!
637
00:39:34,535 --> 00:39:34,535
ALL SHOUT AND CHEER
638
00:39:43,495 --> 00:39:43,495
Last one in's a sissy!
639
00:39:45,772 --> 00:39:45,772
CHEERING AND SPLASHING
640
00:39:47,975 --> 00:39:47,975
We must keep our ends up, Fanny.
641
00:39:50,215 --> 00:39:50,215
I think I'm happy with my end down.
642
00:39:54,892 --> 00:39:54,892
WOMEN GIGGLE
643
00:40:01,223 --> 00:40:01,223
LINDA GASPS
644
00:40:09,735 --> 00:40:09,735
Come on, let's do it.
We'd look so chic.
645
00:40:12,052 --> 00:40:12,052
MEN CHANT
646
00:40:16,135 --> 00:40:16,135
FANNY: Davey says it's deadly
to talk about hunting.
647
00:40:18,503 --> 00:40:18,503
LINDA:Of course I won't!
They're intellectuals.
648
00:40:22,919 --> 00:40:22,919
Hello.
649
00:40:24,071 --> 00:40:24,071
Been hunting at all?
650
00:40:27,412 --> 00:40:27,412
Yes, actually.
We were out yesterday.
651
00:40:29,639 --> 00:40:29,639
Good day?Great.
652
00:40:31,687 --> 00:40:31,687
Actually very.
653
00:40:33,479 --> 00:40:33,479
We found at once and we had a
five-mile point and then we...
654
00:40:38,663 --> 00:40:38,663
That's marvellous.Yes!
655
00:40:40,775 --> 00:40:40,775
Yeah. Well, we had a good
day yesterday too.
656
00:40:42,892 --> 00:40:42,892
Then my first horse went lame.
657
00:40:45,063 --> 00:40:45,063
Terrible shame.Ah, no.
658
00:40:47,332 --> 00:40:47,332
He'd been looking
awfully good all year.
659
00:40:50,375 --> 00:40:50,375
Come on!Mm!
660
00:40:52,423 --> 00:40:52,423
Here they are!
661
00:40:53,812 --> 00:40:53,812
About time! I said one o'clock,
not five past.
662
00:40:56,455 --> 00:40:56,455
ALL TALK AT ONCE
663
00:41:00,423 --> 00:41:00,423
TONY:Go and have some of that
cheese. Mummy sent this up.
664
00:41:03,623 --> 00:41:03,623
SWING MUSIC PLAYS
665
00:41:06,823 --> 00:41:06,823
Talk to that man.
666
00:41:08,615 --> 00:41:08,615
Say something clever.
667
00:41:10,407 --> 00:41:10,407
LINDA GIGGLES
668
00:41:11,943 --> 00:41:11,943
Oh...
669
00:41:13,287 --> 00:41:13,287
Hello!Hello.
670
00:41:15,463 --> 00:41:15,463
I'm a big fan
of Virginia Woolf.
671
00:41:18,412 --> 00:41:18,412
Have you read Orlando?You look
rather like The Bolter.
672
00:41:20,812 --> 00:41:20,812
A sort of Home Counties version.
673
00:41:23,271 --> 00:41:23,271
That's my mother.
674
00:41:25,895 --> 00:41:25,895
I shouldn't think so.
675
00:41:27,367 --> 00:41:27,367
You're much too old to be
a child of The Bolter.
676
00:41:29,735 --> 00:41:29,735
Is she still with
her white hunter?
677
00:41:32,423 --> 00:41:32,423
What's all that hair
on your nose?
678
00:41:36,412 --> 00:41:36,412
LAUGHS
679
00:41:38,572 --> 00:41:38,572
Oh, my goodness.
Fanny, is there a hair...?
680
00:41:40,615 --> 00:41:40,615
BLOWS
681
00:41:53,332 --> 00:41:53,332
Yes!
682
00:41:54,823 --> 00:41:54,823
You got away lightly.
683
00:41:56,871 --> 00:41:56,871
CHEERING
684
00:41:58,791 --> 00:41:58,791
To the King.
685
00:42:00,327 --> 00:42:00,327
OTHERS CHEER AND LAUGH
686
00:42:02,887 --> 00:42:02,887
Drink it all!
687
00:42:04,423 --> 00:42:04,423
Oh... Two! Whoo!
688
00:42:07,047 --> 00:42:07,047
This isn't really enjoyable.
689
00:42:10,695 --> 00:42:10,695
CHEERING
690
00:42:12,807 --> 00:42:12,807
A ghastly feeling of guilt is
beginning to give me
691
00:42:14,855 --> 00:42:14,855
a pain rather like indigestion.
692
00:42:16,732 --> 00:42:16,732
Yes, me too. Every time
the door opens,
693
00:42:19,143 --> 00:42:19,143
I'm sure Uncle Matthew's going
to be there cracking his whip.
694
00:42:21,772 --> 00:42:21,772
OK...
695
00:42:23,212 --> 00:42:23,212
CHEERING
696
00:42:25,252 --> 00:42:25,252
I think we'd better go.
697
00:42:27,052 --> 00:42:27,052
Yes.
698
00:42:30,215 --> 00:42:30,215
TONY GUFFAWS
699
00:42:32,007 --> 00:42:32,007
Shall...shall we?
Yes, I know.
700
00:42:33,799 --> 00:42:33,799
TONY:Come on, baby.
701
00:42:36,231 --> 00:42:36,231
Going to go?Yes.
702
00:42:38,407 --> 00:42:38,407
LINDA SOBS
FANNY: Oh, shush now.
703
00:42:40,775 --> 00:42:40,775
You poor darling.
704
00:42:42,292 --> 00:42:42,292
But you know that you have to
kiss a lot of frogs
705
00:42:45,447 --> 00:42:45,447
before you find your prince...
706
00:42:47,367 --> 00:42:47,367
..of Wales!
707
00:42:49,372 --> 00:42:49,372
SOBBING CONTINUES
708
00:42:53,383 --> 00:42:53,383
Oh, Fanny...
709
00:42:55,012 --> 00:42:55,012
Fanny, help.
710
00:42:58,503 --> 00:42:58,503
Love has increased threefold
in one short day.
711
00:43:06,055 --> 00:43:06,055
But why?
712
00:43:07,732 --> 00:43:07,732
SOBBING:I love him!
713
00:43:10,023 --> 00:43:10,023
Oh, Linda, why?
714
00:43:13,735 --> 00:43:13,735
Linda! Linda!
715
00:43:18,215 --> 00:43:18,215
UNCLE MATTHEW:Linda!
716
00:43:22,252 --> 00:43:22,252
Linda!
717
00:43:42,052 --> 00:43:42,052
I have received a phone call...
718
00:43:50,572 --> 00:43:50,572
..telling me...
719
00:43:53,351 --> 00:43:53,351
..that someone has left a scarf
720
00:43:55,207 --> 00:43:55,207
in Tony Kroesig's rooms at Oxford.
721
00:44:03,335 --> 00:44:03,335
Now we know -
you're not to be trusted.
722
00:44:07,623 --> 00:44:07,623
So we'll have to take
certain steps.
723
00:44:09,652 --> 00:44:09,652
Fanny, you will go
straight home.
724
00:44:11,212 --> 00:44:11,212
Emily can...try to control you
in the future, if she can.
725
00:44:14,279 --> 00:44:14,279
But you'll go the same way
as your mother The Bolter,
726
00:44:16,519 --> 00:44:16,519
as sure as eggs is eggs.
727
00:44:17,991 --> 00:44:17,991
Fa, you can't keep us locked up
forever - we're practically
middle-aged women!
728
00:44:21,319 --> 00:44:21,319
Don't interrupt your father.
Fanny is a scarlet woman -
729
00:44:23,623 --> 00:44:23,623
that's what we'd have
called her in the old days.
730
00:44:25,863 --> 00:44:25,863
I didn't even want to go.
And as for you, miss!
731
00:44:28,295 --> 00:44:28,295
You're worse, worse than
The Bolter, imagine that!
732
00:44:30,535 --> 00:44:30,535
Please stop it
about The Bolter.
733
00:44:32,212 --> 00:44:32,212
No-one here is like her.
It's all unfair
734
00:44:34,012 --> 00:44:34,012
because I always feel like I'm the
terrible person, and then Linda
always seems so innocent.
735
00:44:37,703 --> 00:44:37,703
I blame that depraved sewer Merlin.
736
00:44:40,135 --> 00:44:40,135
LINDA:Merlin's not depraved!
737
00:44:41,735 --> 00:44:41,735
He travels abroad and reads books
and is sophisticated.
738
00:44:45,191 --> 00:44:45,191
Travels abroad?
Yes, and his house
739
00:44:47,623 --> 00:44:47,623
is beautiful and comfortable
and warm,
740
00:44:49,492 --> 00:44:49,492
a place to live in, and not
some freezing medieval fortress
741
00:44:52,103 --> 00:44:52,103
to rush out from
and kill things all day.
742
00:44:53,932 --> 00:44:53,932
I can't sit in a cupboard
with Fanny for the rest of my life!
743
00:44:56,391 --> 00:44:56,391
Well, you won't have to, cos Fanny's
never coming back here again!
744
00:44:59,335 --> 00:44:59,335
And there can be no question of a
London season now.Fa, please!No!
745
00:45:02,092 --> 00:45:02,092
We shall have to watch you every
minute of the day in future.
746
00:45:04,492 --> 00:45:04,492
You're damn lucky
not to get a thrashing.
747
00:45:08,103 --> 00:45:08,103
Now go to your rooms, both of you.
748
00:45:10,023 --> 00:45:10,023
And you're not to speak
to each other before Fanny leaves!
749
00:45:13,252 --> 00:45:13,252
Luckily, no-one will give them
a second glance now
750
00:45:15,532 --> 00:45:15,532
with that dreadful hair.
751
00:45:29,095 --> 00:45:29,095
Goodbye, Fanny! Goodbye!
752
00:45:31,655 --> 00:45:31,655
Goodbye, Linda.
753
00:45:34,535 --> 00:45:34,535
Oh, we are unlucky to be us!
754
00:45:36,327 --> 00:45:36,327
Bye, darling!
755
00:45:38,212 --> 00:45:38,212
FANNY: Of course,
we were allowed a London season.
756
00:45:45,292 --> 00:45:45,292
# Give my love to London
757
00:45:47,335 --> 00:45:47,335
# Say I'll be there soon
758
00:45:49,972 --> 00:45:49,972
# Meet me in Piccadilly
759
00:45:52,612 --> 00:45:52,612
# And we'll dance by the light
of the moon... #
760
00:45:54,892 --> 00:45:54,892
FANNY: The English upper-class
version of the puberty ritual
761
00:45:57,772 --> 00:45:57,772
finally happened.
762
00:45:59,495 --> 00:45:59,495
Isn't it lovely to be lovely us?
763
00:46:01,735 --> 00:46:01,735
We came out into the world -
764
00:46:03,783 --> 00:46:03,783
18 years old
and ready for a husband.
765
00:46:07,252 --> 00:46:07,252
Do you get up to Scotland much?
766
00:46:09,223 --> 00:46:09,223
Care for nightclubs?
767
00:46:10,887 --> 00:46:10,887
I say, have you come far?
768
00:46:13,767 --> 00:46:13,767
We met last night
at William Stonor's.
769
00:46:16,135 --> 00:46:16,135
Don't you remember?
770
00:46:17,415 --> 00:46:17,415
No.
771
00:46:19,015 --> 00:46:19,015
Uh...
772
00:46:22,855 --> 00:46:22,855
FANNY: But Linda was still
in her dream of love for Tony.
773
00:46:26,247 --> 00:46:26,247
And Tony was nowhere to be seen.
774
00:46:31,252 --> 00:46:31,252
Oh, what's the point?
775
00:46:34,252 --> 00:46:34,252
I missed my only chance
for happiness.
776
00:46:38,092 --> 00:46:38,092
I'm going to be a sour,
777
00:46:39,892 --> 00:46:39,892
wizened up, toothless old maid
778
00:46:43,271 --> 00:46:43,271
and die in a hole.
779
00:46:46,663 --> 00:46:46,663
Me too.
780
00:46:48,711 --> 00:46:48,711
We'll have each other
to dribble on at least.
781
00:47:03,815 --> 00:47:03,815
Hello, Linda.
782
00:47:05,479 --> 00:47:05,479
I've been looking
everywhere for you.
783
00:47:07,372 --> 00:47:07,372
Really?
784
00:47:08,999 --> 00:47:08,999
Shall I show you the balcony?
785
00:47:11,047 --> 00:47:11,047
Yes.
786
00:47:29,572 --> 00:47:29,572
THE BOLTER:Hello, darling!
787
00:47:31,783 --> 00:47:31,783
You've got so tall!
788
00:47:34,215 --> 00:47:34,215
Hello, Bolter.
789
00:47:35,495 --> 00:47:35,495
Mummy.
790
00:47:37,159 --> 00:47:37,159
I'm your mummy!
791
00:47:40,972 --> 00:47:40,972
Was that Linda
I just saw you with?
792
00:47:43,495 --> 00:47:43,495
Yes.
793
00:47:44,932 --> 00:47:44,932
Oh, no, it's such a mistake
to be friends with girls
794
00:47:47,335 --> 00:47:47,335
who are more beautiful
than one is, darling.
795
00:47:49,191 --> 00:47:49,191
It's too dispiriting.
Who was she with?
796
00:47:51,412 --> 00:47:51,412
Tony Kroesig.
797
00:47:53,031 --> 00:47:53,031
Tony?! Oh.
798
00:47:54,695 --> 00:47:54,695
That won't last.
799
00:47:59,572 --> 00:47:59,572
I want you to meet my friend, Colin.
800
00:48:02,452 --> 00:48:02,452
He's so nice!
801
00:48:04,167 --> 00:48:04,167
He's here somewhere.
802
00:48:06,215 --> 00:48:06,215
What happened to your white hunter?
803
00:48:08,135 --> 00:48:08,135
Dead. Shot in the head
during a safari - too sad.
804
00:48:13,767 --> 00:48:13,767
Oh, well, at least
you didn't have to bolt.
805
00:48:15,815 --> 00:48:15,815
LAUGHS
806
00:48:17,479 --> 00:48:17,479
Yeah, no. Yes, for once!
LAUGHS
807
00:48:20,452 --> 00:48:20,452
First one I lost respectably -
to death.
808
00:48:24,263 --> 00:48:24,263
Oh, Fanny, dear, you're very funny.
809
00:48:29,575 --> 00:48:29,575
I'm going to go and fetch
lovely Colin for you to meet.
810
00:48:39,815 --> 00:48:39,815
# D'ye ken John Peel
with his coat so gay?
811
00:48:43,655 --> 00:48:43,655
# D'ye ken John Peel
at the break o' the day
812
00:48:47,367 --> 00:48:47,367
# D'ye ken John Peel
when he's far, far away... #
813
00:48:49,927 --> 00:48:49,927
Oh, darling Colin,
everything about you is heaven.
814
00:48:52,999 --> 00:48:52,999
I just want to spend
the whole night with you!
815
00:48:54,919 --> 00:48:54,919
Goodness, let's!
816
00:48:56,263 --> 00:48:56,263
# For the sound of his horn... #
817
00:48:58,055 --> 00:48:58,055
Come, let's get out of here.
818
00:48:59,463 --> 00:48:59,463
# And the cry of his hounds
which he oft times led
819
00:49:02,727 --> 00:49:02,727
# Peel's "View, Halloo!"
could awaken the dead
820
00:49:06,183 --> 00:49:06,183
# Or the fox from his lair
in the morning
821
00:49:10,132 --> 00:49:10,132
# Yes, I ken John Peel and Ruby too
822
00:49:13,863 --> 00:49:13,863
# Ranter and Royal
and Bellman so true
823
00:49:17,127 --> 00:49:17,127
# From the drag to the chase
824
00:49:19,175 --> 00:49:19,175
# From the chase to the view
825
00:49:21,415 --> 00:49:21,415
# From a view to the death
in the morning. #
826
00:49:31,612 --> 00:49:31,612
GIGGLES SOFTLY
827
00:49:34,919 --> 00:49:34,919
TENDERLY:
"Darling, I'm your mummy."
828
00:49:44,775 --> 00:49:44,775
CARELESSLY:
"Darling, I'm your mummy."
829
00:49:56,359 --> 00:49:56,359
LINDA YAWNS
830
00:49:58,215 --> 00:49:58,215
UNCLE MATTHEW:That bloody Hun
Kroesig has just telephoned.
831
00:50:01,863 --> 00:50:01,863
He wanted to speak to you, Linda.
832
00:50:04,423 --> 00:50:04,423
I told him to get
the hell out of here -
833
00:50:06,215 --> 00:50:06,215
I don't want you mixed up
with any Germans,
834
00:50:08,135 --> 00:50:08,135
do you understand?
835
00:50:10,852 --> 00:50:10,852
Well, I am "mixed up".
836
00:50:15,052 --> 00:50:15,052
As it happens,
I'm engaged to him.
837
00:50:17,095 --> 00:50:17,095
GASPS
838
00:50:18,892 --> 00:50:18,892
FOOTSTEPS APPROACH
839
00:50:24,199 --> 00:50:24,199
What did you...? Come here!
840
00:50:26,212 --> 00:50:26,212
What did you...?
Come here, you!
841
00:50:28,132 --> 00:50:28,132
Come here!
842
00:50:31,495 --> 00:50:31,495
What did you say?
843
00:50:32,932 --> 00:50:32,932
How dare you! What did you say?
844
00:50:37,612 --> 00:50:37,612
What are you doing?
She just said she's engaged!
845
00:50:40,263 --> 00:50:40,263
PANTING
846
00:50:59,335 --> 00:50:59,335
FANNY: It wasn't just Uncle Matthew
who opposed the engagement.
847
00:51:03,495 --> 00:51:03,495
Tony is Bottom
to Linda's Titania, isn't he?
848
00:51:07,612 --> 00:51:07,612
DAVEY:He's ghastly.
849
00:51:09,319 --> 00:51:09,319
A frightful Counter Hon.
850
00:51:11,495 --> 00:51:11,495
Nothing will wake her up.
851
00:51:13,735 --> 00:51:13,735
No. Not before it's too late.
852
00:51:16,615 --> 00:51:16,615
Poor Linda.
853
00:51:19,372 --> 00:51:19,372
She has an intensely
romantic character,
854
00:51:21,892 --> 00:51:21,892
which is fatal for a woman.
855
00:51:24,935 --> 00:51:24,935
And also what makes her
so completely irresistible.
856
00:51:28,972 --> 00:51:28,972
Fortunately, most women
are madly matter-of-fact.
857
00:51:31,852 --> 00:51:31,852
Otherwise, the world
could hardly carry on.
858
00:51:35,943 --> 00:51:35,943
What am I, Davey?
859
00:51:40,103 --> 00:51:40,103
You're you, Fanny.
860
00:51:43,372 --> 00:51:43,372
You'll be all right.
861
00:51:46,055 --> 00:51:46,055
Hm.
862
00:51:48,892 --> 00:51:48,892
Lord Merlin was braver
than the rest of us.
863
00:51:51,367 --> 00:51:51,367
Are you pleased about my engagement?
No, of course not.
864
00:51:53,572 --> 00:51:53,572
Why are you doing it?
865
00:51:56,423 --> 00:51:56,423
STAMMERS:We're in love.
866
00:51:58,023 --> 00:51:58,023
And what makes you think so?
867
00:51:59,495 --> 00:51:59,495
STAMMERS:One doesn't think,
one knows.
868
00:52:02,572 --> 00:52:02,572
Oh, fiddlesticks!
869
00:52:09,223 --> 00:52:09,223
Well!
870
00:52:11,015 --> 00:52:11,015
You evidently don't
understand a thing about love.
871
00:52:14,855 --> 00:52:14,855
So what's the use
in talking to you?
872
00:52:17,863 --> 00:52:17,863
Love is for grown-ups,
as you'll discover one day.
873
00:52:21,575 --> 00:52:21,575
You'll also discover
874
00:52:22,732 --> 00:52:22,732
that it's got nothing to do
with marriage.
875
00:52:24,455 --> 00:52:24,455
I'm all in favour
of you marrying, if you so wish,
876
00:52:27,172 --> 00:52:27,172
but for God's sake, not to a bore
like Tony Kroesig!
877
00:52:31,972 --> 00:52:31,972
He's your friend.
878
00:52:33,607 --> 00:52:33,607
If he's such a bore, why would
you bring him to my party?
879
00:52:35,847 --> 00:52:35,847
I can't guess that you'll go
and marry every stopgap
880
00:52:38,023 --> 00:52:38,023
that comes to stay at my house!
881
00:52:40,903 --> 00:52:40,903
GASPS
882
00:52:48,775 --> 00:52:48,775
LOO PAPER RUSTLES
883
00:52:50,247 --> 00:52:50,247
LOO FLUSHES
884
00:52:52,492 --> 00:52:52,492
LINDA:Can't think why Merlin
says he's such a bore.
885
00:52:55,852 --> 00:52:55,852
Tony knows everything.
886
00:52:59,212 --> 00:52:59,212
Well, yes, that's exactly
it, he does.
887
00:53:02,215 --> 00:53:02,215
At least he thinks he does.
888
00:53:12,967 --> 00:53:12,967
LOO FLUSHES
889
00:53:17,255 --> 00:53:17,255
Oh, bother Merlin.
890
00:53:18,535 --> 00:53:18,535
You know, I'm starting to think
891
00:53:20,092 --> 00:53:20,092
that Fa was right about
him all along.
892
00:53:22,567 --> 00:53:22,567
He is a little depraved.
893
00:53:28,012 --> 00:53:28,012
Don't you think?
894
00:53:34,535 --> 00:53:34,535
EXCLAIMS
895
00:53:42,772 --> 00:53:42,772
I'm afraid I have to make Lavender
Davis chief bridesmaid.
896
00:53:47,719 --> 00:53:47,719
But you'll be second.
897
00:53:50,599 --> 00:53:50,599
She's Tony's cousin.
898
00:53:53,223 --> 00:53:53,223
And she is responsible for us
getting together, after all.
899
00:53:56,572 --> 00:53:56,572
Well, only most unwittingly.
900
00:53:58,732 --> 00:53:58,732
Unwittingly or wittingly,
what does it matter?
901
00:54:23,692 --> 00:54:23,692
CLEARS THROAT
902
00:54:26,055 --> 00:54:26,055
Um...
903
00:54:28,132 --> 00:54:28,132
Would you take my flowers
for me?
904
00:54:29,812 --> 00:54:29,812
Take my flowers for me,
would you? Oh!
905
00:54:35,271 --> 00:54:35,271
Oh, hello, Fanny, darling.
Come and have a champagne!
906
00:54:37,732 --> 00:54:37,732
Oh, I'm so sorry!
907
00:54:38,932 --> 00:54:38,932
Excuse me. Sorry.
No, I'm sorry. Excuse me.
908
00:54:47,047 --> 00:54:47,047
This...There you are.
909
00:54:48,292 --> 00:54:48,292
Yes, thank you.
That's all right.I...
910
00:54:52,132 --> 00:54:52,132
Are you one of those
bright young things?
911
00:54:54,772 --> 00:54:54,772
Oh, I don't know.
Would you like me to be?
912
00:54:56,967 --> 00:54:56,967
Not particularly.
913
00:55:01,063 --> 00:55:01,063
So, uh...Fanny!
914
00:55:03,303 --> 00:55:03,303
Yes?Let's talk about...
915
00:55:04,972 --> 00:55:04,972
GUEST: It's time,
everyone's sitting down.
916
00:55:06,951 --> 00:55:06,951
CLEARS THROAT
917
00:55:08,167 --> 00:55:08,167
Yes, can we just, um, chat, Fanny?
918
00:55:10,492 --> 00:55:10,492
Well, we will later - you have
to say hello to everyone.
919
00:55:12,839 --> 00:55:12,839
GROANS
920
00:55:16,615 --> 00:55:16,615
Come on!
921
00:55:20,135 --> 00:55:20,135
Get in!
922
00:55:25,852 --> 00:55:25,852
Well... What do you think?
923
00:55:28,455 --> 00:55:28,455
It's better than Louisa's,
isn't it?
924
00:55:30,311 --> 00:55:30,311
There's that at least.TONY:I say,
has anyone seen Linda?
925
00:55:32,572 --> 00:55:32,572
Shh, shh, shh!
I need to start my speech.
926
00:55:36,412 --> 00:55:36,412
Darling, you'd better get out
and be the bride.I know, I know.
927
00:55:39,463 --> 00:55:39,463
Can we just stay
for a second longer
928
00:55:41,452 --> 00:55:41,452
and just...chat and catch up?
929
00:55:43,943 --> 00:55:43,943
Your train's poking out -
930
00:55:45,543 --> 00:55:45,543
it's going to be quite obvious
you're in here.Darling,
931
00:55:48,679 --> 00:55:48,679
in my bitter determination
to grow up...
932
00:55:53,223 --> 00:55:53,223
..I'd forgotten we'd have
to stop being children.
933
00:55:56,332 --> 00:55:56,332
Yes, there is that.
934
00:55:57,575 --> 00:55:57,575
Can we still be toothless
old maids together?
935
00:56:00,172 --> 00:56:00,172
Not really -
you just got married!
936
00:56:01,972 --> 00:56:01,972
LAUGHS NERVOUSLY
937
00:56:04,615 --> 00:56:04,615
Oh, dear. I'm feeling a bit lost.
938
00:56:07,687 --> 00:56:07,687
Oh.
939
00:56:08,932 --> 00:56:08,932
Are there really
to be no more Christmases
940
00:56:11,335 --> 00:56:11,335
at Alconleigh?
941
00:56:12,743 --> 00:56:12,743
AUNT SADIE:Linda!
942
00:56:19,783 --> 00:56:19,783
Get out of there at once!
943
00:56:23,367 --> 00:56:23,367
Tony's about to make his speech.
944
00:57:05,223 --> 00:57:05,223
Ah, there she is.
Speak of the devil.
945
00:57:11,303 --> 00:57:11,303
Come on, girl, get over here.
946
00:57:12,652 --> 00:57:12,652
# My baby loves me
947
00:57:14,932 --> 00:57:14,932
# I'm so happy
948
00:57:16,551 --> 00:57:16,551
# Happy makes me a modern girl
949
00:57:20,007 --> 00:57:20,007
# Took my money
950
00:57:22,252 --> 00:57:22,252
# And bought a TV... #
WHISPERS: Go on.
951
00:57:25,703 --> 00:57:25,703
WHISPERS: I love you.
952
00:57:28,775 --> 00:57:28,775
Er, when I first met Linda,
953
00:57:31,975 --> 00:57:31,975
she told me she was
an Honourable,
954
00:57:35,092 --> 00:57:35,092
the daughter of a baron,
955
00:57:36,839 --> 00:57:36,839
spoke fluent French...
956
00:57:42,772 --> 00:57:42,772
..and rode to hounds
with the Bicester.
957
00:57:51,175 --> 00:57:51,175
And I knew, right off the bat,
958
00:57:53,095 --> 00:57:53,095
she was hellbent on marrying me.
959
00:57:54,892 --> 00:57:54,892
TRICKLE OF LAUGHTER
960
00:57:57,063 --> 00:57:57,063
Despite all that, I still
managed to fall for her!
961
00:57:59,495 --> 00:57:59,495
LAUGHTER
962
00:58:01,287 --> 00:58:01,287
Erm, you see, I think what...
963
00:58:03,655 --> 00:58:03,655
..what sealed the deal,
as we say in banking...
964
00:58:07,372 --> 00:58:07,372
VOICE FADES
965
00:58:10,055 --> 00:58:10,055
# I'm so happy
966
00:58:11,975 --> 00:58:11,975
# Happy makes me
967
00:58:13,703 --> 00:58:13,703
# A modern girl
968
00:58:15,431 --> 00:58:15,431
# Took my money
969
00:58:17,223 --> 00:58:17,223
# And bought a doughnut
970
00:58:19,732 --> 00:58:19,732
# The hole's the size of
this entire world
971
00:58:22,791 --> 00:58:22,791
# My whole life
972
00:58:26,823 --> 00:58:26,823
# Was like a picture of a sunny day
973
00:58:30,215 --> 00:58:30,215
# My whole life
974
00:58:34,132 --> 00:58:34,132
# Looked like the picture
of a sunny day
975
00:58:52,679 --> 00:58:52,679
# My baby loves me
976
00:58:54,663 --> 00:58:54,663
# I'm so angry
977
00:58:56,692 --> 00:58:56,692
# Anger makes me a modern girl
978
00:59:00,052 --> 00:59:00,052
# Took my money
979
00:59:01,972 --> 00:59:01,972
# I couldn't buy nothin'
980
00:59:04,135 --> 00:59:04,135
# I'm sick of this brave new world
981
00:59:07,655 --> 00:59:07,655
# My whole life
982
00:59:11,332 --> 00:59:11,332
# Was like the picture
of a sunny day
983
00:59:14,823 --> 00:59:14,823
# My whole life
984
00:59:18,663 --> 00:59:18,663
# Looked like the picture
of a sunny day. #95618
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof