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1
00:00:00,760 --> 00:00:02,289
Hey, hey, what up, shop?
2
00:00:02,290 --> 00:00:03,671
- Hey.
- What up, Calvin?
3
00:00:03,680 --> 00:00:05,922
Hey, shoppedy-shop,
4
00:00:05,923 --> 00:00:07,280
can I get a "what-what?"
5
00:00:11,920 --> 00:00:13,050
Sorry, Dave.
6
00:00:13,056 --> 00:00:16,767
Looks like the shoppedy-shop
gave you a "nopedy-nope."
7
00:00:16,770 --> 00:00:21,039
Hey, Que, why does Bobby have
a pink chair at his station?
8
00:00:21,040 --> 00:00:23,100
Oh, that's not Bobby's station anymore.
9
00:00:23,120 --> 00:00:24,649
He had to skip town.
10
00:00:24,650 --> 00:00:26,940
Yeah, he sneezed and
accidentally shaved off
11
00:00:26,960 --> 00:00:29,280
one of Big Mike's eyebrows.
12
00:00:29,300 --> 00:00:31,020
Man, he didn't even
wait for a "Bless you."
13
00:00:31,040 --> 00:00:33,200
Just dropped the clippers and ran.
14
00:00:34,660 --> 00:00:36,895
Anyway, now that he's gone,
15
00:00:36,896 --> 00:00:38,362
I rented out his station
16
00:00:38,363 --> 00:00:40,415
to a couple of women
who's gonna do nails.
17
00:00:40,416 --> 00:00:42,362
All right.
18
00:00:42,363 --> 00:00:45,169
It'll be nice to get some
female energy up in here.
19
00:00:45,170 --> 00:00:47,080
Now Dave doesn't have to feel so alone.
20
00:00:49,920 --> 00:00:52,635
- Pink Ladies in the house!
- Can I get a "what-what?"
21
00:00:52,636 --> 00:00:54,178
What-what?
22
00:00:54,179 --> 00:00:57,469
Oh, no. It's the Pink Ladies.
23
00:00:57,470 --> 00:00:59,160
What are they doing here?
24
00:00:59,180 --> 00:01:01,562
And why did they get a
"what-what" and I didn't?
25
00:01:01,570 --> 00:01:03,688
Do y'all know each other?
26
00:01:03,689 --> 00:01:05,952
Unfortunately, yes.
27
00:01:05,953 --> 00:01:09,260
These two buzzards been
circling me since high school.
28
00:01:09,261 --> 00:01:12,529
Hey, Regina, isn't that Calvin Butler?
29
00:01:12,530 --> 00:01:14,169
Couldn't be. That guy's older,
30
00:01:14,170 --> 00:01:15,374
uglier, and has way more hair
31
00:01:15,375 --> 00:01:17,989
- coming out of his nose.
- Ha!
32
00:01:17,990 --> 00:01:20,219
No, that's him, all right. You can tell
33
00:01:20,220 --> 00:01:23,579
because he's standing next to
his emotional support dork.
34
00:01:24,960 --> 00:01:26,569
- What's up?
- What's up?
35
00:01:26,570 --> 00:01:28,370
- No, what's up?
- No, what's up with you?
36
00:01:28,376 --> 00:01:30,242
Yeah, looks like I ain't the only one
37
00:01:30,243 --> 00:01:31,750
that got hair coming out their nose.
38
00:01:33,410 --> 00:01:35,280
Regina, hand me that nail file.
39
00:01:35,300 --> 00:01:36,554
I'm about to shank this fool.
40
00:01:36,555 --> 00:01:39,057
Oh, uh, C-Calvin, let's get out of here.
41
00:01:39,058 --> 00:01:41,580
No, Dave. The shop is my spot.
42
00:01:41,600 --> 00:01:43,219
If anybody's leaving, it's them.
43
00:01:43,220 --> 00:01:44,320
Oh, no, we're not.
44
00:01:44,340 --> 00:01:45,856
See, Que already cashed our check,
45
00:01:45,857 --> 00:01:47,180
so we're here to stay.
46
00:01:47,200 --> 00:01:49,984
That's right, unlike your hairline.
47
00:01:52,900 --> 00:01:54,320
What you laughing at, Trey?
48
00:01:54,323 --> 00:01:56,784
You and your bald head
wish you had my hairline!
49
00:01:59,119 --> 00:02:03,320
- Synced & corrected by MementMori -
-- www.addic7ed.com --
50
00:02:05,370 --> 00:02:06,680
Aah!
51
00:02:06,700 --> 00:02:07,782
I cannot believe
52
00:02:07,783 --> 00:02:09,920
the Pink Ladies are working
at the barbershop.
53
00:02:09,940 --> 00:02:11,879
I know. What are we gonna do?
54
00:02:11,880 --> 00:02:13,235
I don't know,
55
00:02:13,236 --> 00:02:15,230
but as long as they're at the shop,
56
00:02:15,231 --> 00:02:17,119
I'm not getting my hair cut there.
57
00:02:17,120 --> 00:02:18,360
Besides...
58
00:02:18,380 --> 00:02:19,799
Me always wanting to know
59
00:02:19,800 --> 00:02:22,100
what I'd look like with them
rude boy dreadlocks, you know.
60
00:02:22,101 --> 00:02:24,060
Calvin,
61
00:02:24,061 --> 00:02:27,680
you can't let them drive you
out of your own barbershop.
62
00:02:27,700 --> 00:02:29,620
And trust me, as someone
who's had dreads,
63
00:02:29,630 --> 00:02:30,818
they're not worth the effort.
64
00:02:32,820 --> 00:02:36,532
You know, if they were dudes,
I'd kick their asses.
65
00:02:36,533 --> 00:02:39,020
But according to their
driver's licenses,
66
00:02:39,040 --> 00:02:40,660
they're technically females.
67
00:02:42,100 --> 00:02:43,440
Well, look, if you can't do that,
68
00:02:43,460 --> 00:02:45,283
there's really only one other solution.
69
00:02:45,284 --> 00:02:46,442
What's that?
70
00:02:46,443 --> 00:02:48,082
Why don't you take the high road?
71
00:02:48,083 --> 00:02:49,360
What do you mean?
72
00:02:50,470 --> 00:02:52,060
Like a hit-and-run?
73
00:02:53,383 --> 00:02:57,219
No. Uh, you-you try to
make peace with them.
74
00:02:57,220 --> 00:02:58,860
Are you crazy?
75
00:02:58,880 --> 00:03:02,510
I'm not making peace with those
two wig-wearing warthogs.
76
00:03:04,640 --> 00:03:07,160
Look, Calvin, you said it yourself...
77
00:03:07,180 --> 00:03:08,930
they're driving you crazy.
78
00:03:08,933 --> 00:03:11,780
And clearly, they're not going anywhere.
79
00:03:11,800 --> 00:03:13,960
But if you go in and
extend an olive branch,
80
00:03:13,980 --> 00:03:16,389
I promise they'll follow your lead.
81
00:03:16,390 --> 00:03:18,112
What makes you so sure?
82
00:03:18,113 --> 00:03:20,900
Well, because mediating conflicts
is what I do for a living.
83
00:03:22,520 --> 00:03:23,620
I don't know, man.
84
00:03:23,630 --> 00:03:25,620
Come on, trust me, Calvin.
85
00:03:25,621 --> 00:03:28,282
If you go in there and offer a truce,
86
00:03:28,283 --> 00:03:30,470
everything will be just fine, mon.
87
00:03:32,900 --> 00:03:35,760
Wow. In one sentence,
88
00:03:35,763 --> 00:03:38,310
you just ruined dreads
and Jamaica for me.
89
00:03:41,090 --> 00:03:42,760
You know, I am so excited
90
00:03:42,780 --> 00:03:45,641
that you and Dave are trying
to have another baby.
91
00:03:45,642 --> 00:03:46,700
I know.
92
00:03:46,720 --> 00:03:51,140
We haven't had this much sex since
he shaved off those stupid dreads.
93
00:03:52,800 --> 00:03:55,720
Well, at least someone's
making babies around here.
94
00:03:55,740 --> 00:03:58,080
By the time Malcolm and
Marty give me grandkids,
95
00:03:58,100 --> 00:04:00,115
they'll be changing my diaper, too.
96
00:04:01,780 --> 00:04:04,203
Well, is either one of them
seeing anyone these days?
97
00:04:04,210 --> 00:04:06,240
Well, they're on all those dating apps,
98
00:04:06,270 --> 00:04:08,792
but neither one's had a
girlfriend in a while.
99
00:04:08,793 --> 00:04:12,294
I guess Malcolm's been working
more hours, and Marty's been...
100
00:04:13,180 --> 00:04:14,289
well, Marty.
101
00:04:15,460 --> 00:04:16,800
Oh.
102
00:04:16,820 --> 00:04:19,519
Well, maybe the problem is
their profiles aren't capturing
103
00:04:19,520 --> 00:04:21,543
how amazing they are in real life.
104
00:04:21,544 --> 00:04:24,040
Hmm. I never thought of that.
105
00:04:24,070 --> 00:04:26,432
You know, maybe we should
go online and look.
106
00:04:26,433 --> 00:04:28,420
We can't. You can only search those apps
107
00:04:28,440 --> 00:04:29,650
if you have your own profile.
108
00:04:29,651 --> 00:04:31,604
Well, can't we just make a fake one?
109
00:04:31,605 --> 00:04:35,449
I guess, as long as you
don't think it's wrong.
110
00:04:35,450 --> 00:04:37,760
Oh, it's wrong, but not
as wrong as me laying
111
00:04:37,780 --> 00:04:40,493
on a changing table
next to my grandbabies.
112
00:04:43,080 --> 00:04:44,909
Aha. Look who's back.
113
00:04:44,910 --> 00:04:46,332
You lose something, Calvin?
114
00:04:46,333 --> 00:04:48,180
'Cause if you're looking
for your dignity,
115
00:04:48,200 --> 00:04:50,132
Que already swept the floor.
116
00:04:51,900 --> 00:04:53,830
Look, I didn't come to fight.
117
00:04:53,841 --> 00:04:55,920
I came to end this stupid rivalry.
118
00:04:57,760 --> 00:04:59,799
Look, LaTonya, did
Calvin Butler just say
119
00:04:59,800 --> 00:05:01,343
he wanted to make peace with us?
120
00:05:01,344 --> 00:05:03,240
I think he did.
121
00:05:03,260 --> 00:05:05,972
Regina, check the cap on
that nail polish remover.
122
00:05:05,973 --> 00:05:07,682
Those fumes got us trippin'.
123
00:05:08,920 --> 00:05:10,309
Y'all ain't trippin'. All right.
124
00:05:10,310 --> 00:05:13,057
Look, I just figured if we're
gonna be in this shop together,
125
00:05:13,058 --> 00:05:17,809
it's time that maybe we took
the high road with each other.
126
00:05:17,810 --> 00:05:20,085
- Hmm.
- I don't think he's playing.
127
00:05:20,086 --> 00:05:22,447
He don't have that usual
stanky-ass look on his face.
128
00:05:23,480 --> 00:05:25,100
I know.
129
00:05:25,103 --> 00:05:27,103
I mean, it's still a little stanky,
130
00:05:27,104 --> 00:05:30,442
- but the ass part just gone.
- Mm-hmm.
131
00:05:30,443 --> 00:05:32,624
All right, I'm serious, guys.
132
00:05:32,630 --> 00:05:34,000
And as a show of good faith,
133
00:05:34,020 --> 00:05:36,840
I want to give you free
tune-ups at my shop.
134
00:05:36,860 --> 00:05:38,839
For your cars, not your faces.
135
00:05:40,421 --> 00:05:42,549
I'm sorry. It was right there.
136
00:05:42,550 --> 00:05:45,622
You know what I'm saying?
Like, pop. You know?
137
00:05:45,623 --> 00:05:48,020
- That's pretty big of you, Calvin.
- Mm-hmm.
138
00:05:48,040 --> 00:05:49,640
I'm in.
139
00:05:49,660 --> 00:05:51,690
Okay. Me, too.
140
00:05:51,693 --> 00:05:54,602
And in light of our newfound peace,
141
00:05:54,603 --> 00:05:56,059
we should do something for you.
142
00:05:56,060 --> 00:05:57,070
Like what?
143
00:05:57,071 --> 00:05:59,020
- Right.
- How about...
144
00:05:59,040 --> 00:06:01,189
we give you a manicure on the house?
145
00:06:01,190 --> 00:06:03,420
Nah, I don't need all that.
146
00:06:03,440 --> 00:06:04,940
I'm pretty enough.
147
00:06:04,960 --> 00:06:07,660
I got to keep the hands
relatable, you know?
148
00:06:11,370 --> 00:06:12,800
Come on, Calvin.
149
00:06:12,820 --> 00:06:15,664
Look how rough they are from
working in that shop all day.
150
00:06:15,665 --> 00:06:17,920
And now, wouldn't it
be nice for your wife
151
00:06:17,940 --> 00:06:21,622
if you came home with
soft, smooth hands,
152
00:06:21,623 --> 00:06:24,549
instead of these dry-ass
catcher's mitts?
153
00:06:24,550 --> 00:06:26,160
Yeah.
154
00:06:26,180 --> 00:06:27,759
- Yeah, you ain't lying about that.
- Mm-hmm.
155
00:06:27,760 --> 00:06:30,700
- Mm-hmm.
- I mean, the last time I gave Tina a back rub,
156
00:06:30,720 --> 00:06:32,779
she did say it felt like
I was scraping her
157
00:06:32,780 --> 00:06:34,843
- with two burnt pieces of toast.
- Oh!
158
00:06:34,844 --> 00:06:37,340
Yeah, exactly. Come on.
159
00:06:37,350 --> 00:06:39,219
Well, you come over here
and sit down and relax...
160
00:06:39,220 --> 00:06:41,470
- All right. All right.
- ... while we take care of you.
161
00:06:41,480 --> 00:06:42,809
Okay. All right now.
162
00:06:42,810 --> 00:06:44,980
Remember, this is for Tina, all right?
163
00:06:46,320 --> 00:06:48,859
- Mm.
- Oh. Oh! Ooh, that feels nice.
164
00:06:48,860 --> 00:06:50,200
That's nice.
165
00:06:50,210 --> 00:06:53,100
Now, uh, don't be afraid
to get up on the neck.
166
00:06:53,120 --> 00:06:54,955
- Yeah. Again, for Tina.
- For Tina.
167
00:06:54,956 --> 00:06:56,625
Mm-hmm.
168
00:06:58,300 --> 00:07:01,160
So, how's our fake account coming along?
169
00:07:01,163 --> 00:07:03,589
Great. Our name is Stacey,
170
00:07:03,590 --> 00:07:07,260
and I just found the perfect
picture for our profile.
171
00:07:07,270 --> 00:07:09,039
Whoa! Whoa.
172
00:07:09,040 --> 00:07:13,475
I don't mean to objectify us,
but damn, we are stacked.
173
00:07:13,480 --> 00:07:15,227
Ooh!
174
00:07:15,230 --> 00:07:17,680
Okay, so, uh, now we can look up Malcolm
175
00:07:17,700 --> 00:07:19,106
and Marty and see what's going on?
176
00:07:19,107 --> 00:07:21,740
Yeah, I'll just set the age range
177
00:07:21,760 --> 00:07:24,620
- to 26 to 32.
- Mm-hmm.
178
00:07:24,640 --> 00:07:27,723
And say we're looking for
someone within a mile radius.
179
00:07:27,724 --> 00:07:30,000
Good idea. With those boobs,
180
00:07:30,020 --> 00:07:33,250
I don't think Stacey can walk
very far without tipping over.
181
00:07:35,620 --> 00:07:37,957
Oh, here's Marty.
182
00:07:37,958 --> 00:07:39,625
Let's see.
183
00:07:39,626 --> 00:07:42,337
Oh, no, no, no!
184
00:07:42,340 --> 00:07:44,040
Why would he pick this photo?
185
00:07:44,060 --> 00:07:46,389
He's wearing a Star Trek uniform!
186
00:07:46,390 --> 00:07:49,594
_
187
00:07:49,600 --> 00:07:52,620
Yeah, he is boldly going
where no woman will ever go.
188
00:07:54,083 --> 00:07:55,767
And he's got a quote from The Hobbit.
189
00:07:55,770 --> 00:07:56,960
What's it say?
190
00:07:56,980 --> 00:07:59,060
I don't know. It's in some
made-up language.
191
00:07:59,080 --> 00:08:00,853
But I'm pretty sure it translates
192
00:08:00,854 --> 00:08:02,774
- into "I ain't getting no grandbabies."
- Oh.
193
00:08:05,694 --> 00:08:08,562
Oh. Now, hold on. Hold on.
This picture's cute.
194
00:08:08,563 --> 00:08:10,689
Let me see. Oh, yeah.
195
00:08:10,690 --> 00:08:13,200
- This one's much better.
- Yeah.
196
00:08:13,220 --> 00:08:16,496
- I'm gonna like it.
- No, no, no! Tina, don't do that.
197
00:08:16,510 --> 00:08:18,420
What? I just pressed the heart
198
00:08:18,440 --> 00:08:20,412
so he knows that someone
thinks it's cute.
199
00:08:20,413 --> 00:08:22,200
Yeah, but now he's
gonna get a notification
200
00:08:22,220 --> 00:08:24,252
that "Stacey" is interested in him.
201
00:08:24,253 --> 00:08:27,069
Okay, I'll just undo
it before he notices.
202
00:08:27,070 --> 00:08:29,252
I mean, it's not like Marty's
sitting by the phone,
203
00:08:29,253 --> 00:08:31,170
waiting for somebody...
204
00:08:33,240 --> 00:08:34,320
Oh, my God.
205
00:08:35,340 --> 00:08:37,380
My little baby just said "Sup?"
206
00:08:40,240 --> 00:08:42,520
Calvin? Calvin!
207
00:08:42,522 --> 00:08:46,350
Tina, let me rest, baby.
I'm not a machine.
208
00:08:49,340 --> 00:08:51,980
No, Calvin, it's us.
209
00:08:51,989 --> 00:08:53,359
We're done.
210
00:08:53,360 --> 00:08:56,040
Oh. Oh, wow.
211
00:08:56,070 --> 00:08:57,740
I was out cold.
212
00:08:57,760 --> 00:09:00,760
I had no idea a manicure
could be so relaxing.
213
00:09:00,780 --> 00:09:02,892
You know what?
214
00:09:02,910 --> 00:09:05,122
Not only are y'all getting tune-ups,
215
00:09:05,123 --> 00:09:07,622
you're getting free air
fresheners for life.
216
00:09:09,831 --> 00:09:12,052
Well, we're so glad you enjoyed it.
217
00:09:12,063 --> 00:09:14,096
Yeah, me, too. Thanks a lot, ladies.
218
00:09:14,101 --> 00:09:15,720
Mm-hmm.
219
00:09:17,750 --> 00:09:19,972
What the hell did y'all do to me?!
220
00:09:19,973 --> 00:09:22,572
You turned me into RuPaul Scissorhands!
221
00:09:22,573 --> 00:09:24,685
You're damn right, we did!
222
00:09:24,686 --> 00:09:27,640
Now your ugly face won't be
the first thing people notice.
223
00:09:27,660 --> 00:09:29,909
Ha! Smile.
224
00:09:29,910 --> 00:09:32,500
- Delete that.
- No way. I'm gonna blow that up
225
00:09:32,520 --> 00:09:34,366
and use it to scare crows off my lawn.
226
00:09:35,020 --> 00:09:38,630
You know what? I knew I should
have never trusted y'all.
227
00:09:38,650 --> 00:09:40,620
I don't know who y'all
think y'all playing with,
228
00:09:40,623 --> 00:09:45,132
but payback is coming,
and you can believe that.
229
00:09:45,133 --> 00:09:47,580
That's on everything. That's...
230
00:09:51,190 --> 00:09:54,177
One of y'all get over here
and open this door.
231
00:10:01,518 --> 00:10:02,726
Ooh, good. You're back.
232
00:10:02,727 --> 00:10:03,919
How'd it go with the Pink Ladies?
233
00:10:03,920 --> 00:10:05,760
I'll give you ten guesses.
234
00:10:09,020 --> 00:10:10,690
Oh, my God.
235
00:10:10,694 --> 00:10:12,903
Why would you let them do that to you?
236
00:10:12,904 --> 00:10:14,905
I didn't let them. They...
237
00:10:14,906 --> 00:10:16,532
Well, hang on, hang on. Don't tell me.
238
00:10:16,533 --> 00:10:19,029
I've got nine more guesses.
239
00:10:19,030 --> 00:10:22,760
Look, they tricked me into
thinking that we made up
240
00:10:22,780 --> 00:10:24,720
and then put me to sleep with a massage.
241
00:10:24,740 --> 00:10:28,780
When I woke up, I looked like
one of the Real Housewives.
242
00:10:31,210 --> 00:10:33,299
I can't believe they
would do that to you.
243
00:10:33,300 --> 00:10:36,419
Well, th-this is what I
get for listening to you.
244
00:10:36,420 --> 00:10:39,400
"Take the high road, be the bigger man,
245
00:10:39,420 --> 00:10:40,891
don't hit them with a car."
246
00:10:42,960 --> 00:10:45,480
Well, we cannot let them
get away with this.
247
00:10:45,500 --> 00:10:47,271
We've got to come up with
a plan to get them back.
248
00:10:47,272 --> 00:10:49,020
Y-You damn right, we do.
249
00:10:49,040 --> 00:10:51,609
Now come on, man. Help me
get these stupid nails off.
250
00:10:51,610 --> 00:10:54,440
Yeah, you got it. Uh, but
first, I have this itchy spot
251
00:10:54,460 --> 00:10:56,440
right in the middle of my
back. It's right there.
252
00:10:56,450 --> 00:10:58,880
If you could just... If you
could help me out. Here.
253
00:11:05,670 --> 00:11:06,700
Hey.
254
00:11:06,708 --> 00:11:09,543
I came over to find out how
Stacey ended it with Marty.
255
00:11:09,544 --> 00:11:13,714
Oh, well, that's the funny thing.
256
00:11:13,715 --> 00:11:14,924
She didn't.
257
00:11:18,680 --> 00:11:21,039
You're still messaging him? Why?
258
00:11:21,040 --> 00:11:23,400
Because he keeps messaging me.
259
00:11:23,420 --> 00:11:26,000
We spent all morning
talking about Harry Potter
260
00:11:26,020 --> 00:11:28,438
and how I'm something
called a Ravenclaw.
261
00:11:28,439 --> 00:11:31,580
You're a Ravenclaw? You are so lucky.
262
00:11:31,600 --> 00:11:34,235
Ugh. I'm a total Hufflepuff.
263
00:11:34,236 --> 00:11:36,320
Gemma, what am I supposed to do?!
264
00:11:36,321 --> 00:11:40,366
Well, first off, you should
stop answering him.
265
00:11:40,367 --> 00:11:41,408
I can't.
266
00:11:41,409 --> 00:11:43,622
Then he'll think Stacey rejected him.
267
00:11:43,623 --> 00:11:45,371
It'd kill his self-confidence.
268
00:11:45,372 --> 00:11:48,659
Come on, give Marty more credit.
269
00:11:48,660 --> 00:11:51,680
I'm sure he messages with
girls on this app all the time.
270
00:11:51,700 --> 00:11:54,717
Plus, he's only known
Stacey for half a day.
271
00:11:54,718 --> 00:11:57,049
She can't mean that much to him.
272
00:11:57,050 --> 00:11:59,803
I'm telling you, Malcolm,
this Stacey girl is special.
273
00:12:02,240 --> 00:12:03,660
Oh, come on, Marty.
274
00:12:03,680 --> 00:12:05,520
You said the same thing last week
275
00:12:05,540 --> 00:12:07,309
about the barista at Starbucks,
276
00:12:07,310 --> 00:12:09,895
and she wrote your name
as "Martha" on the cup.
277
00:12:09,896 --> 00:12:13,309
Well, well, this is
different. Stacey is...
278
00:12:13,310 --> 00:12:15,280
Stacey's smart. She's interesting.
279
00:12:15,300 --> 00:12:17,069
She-She's dope, man. Check her out.
280
00:12:17,070 --> 00:12:19,780
- Oh, yeah. Ah.
- Yeah.
281
00:12:19,781 --> 00:12:20,906
That's Mama.
282
00:12:20,907 --> 00:12:22,700
What?!
283
00:12:22,720 --> 00:12:25,069
No, no. No way. No...
Why would you think that?
284
00:12:25,070 --> 00:12:26,580
Think about it, Marty.
285
00:12:26,600 --> 00:12:31,959
Either a superhot girl wants to
talk to you about Harry Potter,
286
00:12:31,960 --> 00:12:34,128
or it's Mama snooping
around your love life.
287
00:12:34,129 --> 00:12:36,629
Well... I mean, you don't know that.
288
00:12:36,630 --> 00:12:38,480
Maybe... Maybe...
289
00:12:38,500 --> 00:12:40,134
Maybe as a teenager,
290
00:12:40,135 --> 00:12:43,112
Stacey was so embarrassed
about her overdeveloped body,
291
00:12:43,113 --> 00:12:45,212
so-so... so she-she stayed inside,
292
00:12:45,213 --> 00:12:46,474
just reading and...
293
00:12:46,475 --> 00:12:47,860
Aw, damn!
294
00:12:47,880 --> 00:12:50,186
I said "sup" to my mama.
295
00:12:51,980 --> 00:12:54,599
Okay. Uh, what about this?
296
00:12:54,600 --> 00:12:56,400
We call the health inspector
297
00:12:56,420 --> 00:12:58,569
and get their beauty
licenses taken away.
298
00:12:58,570 --> 00:13:01,280
Nah, we can't do that to Que.
299
00:13:01,281 --> 00:13:04,117
Legally, he's only licensed
to groom dogs.
300
00:13:06,450 --> 00:13:09,680
Well, we got to do something.
301
00:13:09,700 --> 00:13:11,043
I mean, we can't just let those girls
302
00:13:11,044 --> 00:13:13,543
get away with being so mean to you.
303
00:13:14,640 --> 00:13:15,980
Wait a minute.
304
00:13:16,000 --> 00:13:17,112
That's it.
305
00:13:17,113 --> 00:13:18,949
- Mean Girls.
- What?
306
00:13:18,950 --> 00:13:20,520
In the movie Mean Girls,
307
00:13:20,540 --> 00:13:23,019
Lindsay Lohan takes down
the bullies in her school
308
00:13:23,020 --> 00:13:24,640
by turning them against each other.
309
00:13:24,660 --> 00:13:26,430
That's what we need to
do to the Pink Ladies.
310
00:13:26,431 --> 00:13:28,432
Yeah, o-on second thought,
311
00:13:28,433 --> 00:13:31,102
let's round up some stray dogs
and call the health inspector.
312
00:13:32,240 --> 00:13:33,510
Calvin, I'm serious.
313
00:13:33,520 --> 00:13:35,619
All we have to do is dig up
some dirt about one of them
314
00:13:35,620 --> 00:13:37,140
that the other doesn't know about
315
00:13:37,170 --> 00:13:38,983
and expose it for the world to see.
316
00:13:38,984 --> 00:13:41,980
Oh, my God. I could've been
the queen of the mean girls!
317
00:13:44,600 --> 00:13:46,740
You know, I think I got something.
318
00:13:46,743 --> 00:13:48,827
I'm not exactly proud of it, but...
319
00:13:48,828 --> 00:13:50,580
Okay, well, what is it?
320
00:13:51,540 --> 00:13:53,040
Back in high school,
321
00:13:53,060 --> 00:13:55,452
LaTonya had a huge crush on me
322
00:13:55,453 --> 00:13:57,086
because, well,
323
00:13:57,087 --> 00:13:59,940
- obviously, you know...
- Well, yeah. Come on. Yeah.
324
00:13:59,960 --> 00:14:02,250
But one weekend, when
she was out of town,
325
00:14:02,258 --> 00:14:06,553
Regina swooped in and
asked me on a date.
326
00:14:06,554 --> 00:14:07,932
No.
327
00:14:07,933 --> 00:14:10,766
Regina tried to sneak and freak?
328
00:14:10,767 --> 00:14:13,950
You damn right she did.
329
00:14:13,960 --> 00:14:16,430
And she begged me not to tell LaTonya.
330
00:14:16,439 --> 00:14:18,112
Now, you think that's the kind of dirt
331
00:14:18,113 --> 00:14:20,151
that'll cause them to
turn against each other?
332
00:14:20,152 --> 00:14:21,520
Are you kidding me?
333
00:14:21,540 --> 00:14:23,988
Is Mean Girls better than
Never Been Kissed?
334
00:14:27,240 --> 00:14:30,450
The answer is yes, by a long shot.
335
00:14:33,700 --> 00:14:36,620
Mama, you and I need to talk
about something right now.
336
00:14:36,640 --> 00:14:38,085
Okay, Marty, I can explain.
337
00:14:38,086 --> 00:14:40,713
- I never meant to...
- I am in love!
338
00:14:42,380 --> 00:14:43,879
- What?
- That's right.
339
00:14:43,880 --> 00:14:45,900
Her name is Stacey, we met online,
340
00:14:45,920 --> 00:14:48,178
and I swear, Mama,
I think she's my soul mate.
341
00:14:48,179 --> 00:14:49,610
How could you say that?
342
00:14:49,633 --> 00:14:51,390
You've only known her one day.
343
00:14:51,391 --> 00:14:54,017
Or more than that. I don't know.
How would I know that?
344
00:14:54,018 --> 00:14:56,562
No, I know. I know it
seems fast, but I...
345
00:14:56,563 --> 00:14:58,364
I've never felt so connected
to anyone before,
346
00:14:58,365 --> 00:15:00,820
which is why I want you
to be the first to know.
347
00:15:00,840 --> 00:15:02,276
I'm gonna propose.
348
00:15:02,277 --> 00:15:04,729
Propose? Marty, that is insane.
349
00:15:04,730 --> 00:15:06,839
Ah, yeah. Well, so was selling
my car to buy a diamond ring,
350
00:15:06,840 --> 00:15:08,490
but love makes you do crazy things.
351
00:15:08,491 --> 00:15:10,030
Oh, my God.
352
00:15:10,031 --> 00:15:12,409
Oh, God. Oh, God. Okay.
353
00:15:12,410 --> 00:15:14,079
Marty, I've got something to tell you.
354
00:15:14,080 --> 00:15:16,665
- What?
- I'm Stacey.
355
00:15:16,666 --> 00:15:18,859
- What?! You're Stacey?
- Yes.
356
00:15:18,860 --> 00:15:20,289
I bought a ring for you?!
357
00:15:20,290 --> 00:15:21,819
- Yes.
- And I have been messing with you
358
00:15:21,820 --> 00:15:22,921
since the moment I walked
through the door?
359
00:15:22,922 --> 00:15:24,309
Yes.
360
00:15:24,310 --> 00:15:26,320
Wait, what?
361
00:15:26,343 --> 00:15:27,669
That's right!
362
00:15:27,670 --> 00:15:29,600
I know all about it. And I take it back.
363
00:15:29,620 --> 00:15:31,060
You're no Ravenclaw.
364
00:15:31,080 --> 00:15:33,099
You're a Slytherin through and through!
365
00:15:34,560 --> 00:15:36,319
I am sorry, baby.
366
00:15:36,320 --> 00:15:38,420
I-I just wanted to see your profile
367
00:15:38,440 --> 00:15:41,106
so I could figure out why
you weren't dating more.
368
00:15:41,107 --> 00:15:43,150
And before I knew it,
you were dating me.
369
00:15:43,151 --> 00:15:45,979
I can't believe you would do this to me.
370
00:15:45,980 --> 00:15:49,279
It's just that Dave and Gemma
started talking about having a baby,
371
00:15:49,280 --> 00:15:50,460
and all I could think about
372
00:15:50,480 --> 00:15:52,569
is how much I wanted grandkids.
373
00:15:52,570 --> 00:15:53,859
Yeah, but that's never gonna happen
374
00:15:53,860 --> 00:15:55,757
unless you let me do my
thing and meet a girl
375
00:15:55,758 --> 00:15:57,664
who likes me for who I am.
376
00:15:57,665 --> 00:15:59,712
Hey, I know, but come on.
377
00:15:59,713 --> 00:16:02,961
Star Trek uniforms and Hobbit quotes?
378
00:16:02,962 --> 00:16:04,882
Mama, that's who I am.
379
00:16:04,883 --> 00:16:07,926
And anyone who doesn't
like it doesn't deserve me.
380
00:16:09,000 --> 00:16:10,720
You're right.
381
00:16:10,740 --> 00:16:12,120
And I'm sorry.
382
00:16:12,140 --> 00:16:14,473
And from now on, I will stay out of it.
383
00:16:14,474 --> 00:16:16,099
Thank you.
384
00:16:16,100 --> 00:16:18,090
- All right.
- Okay, baby. Mwah!
385
00:16:18,110 --> 00:16:19,120
Oh.
386
00:16:19,140 --> 00:16:20,897
Ooh, sounds like you got another match.
387
00:16:20,898 --> 00:16:23,700
Oh, wow. And she's pretty.
388
00:16:23,720 --> 00:16:25,520
And she says she's into sci-fi,
389
00:16:25,540 --> 00:16:27,903
video games and graphic novels!
390
00:16:27,904 --> 00:16:29,655
- Let me see.
- Mm-hmm.
391
00:16:29,656 --> 00:16:30,949
Oh, yeah, that's Malcolm.
392
00:16:38,910 --> 00:16:40,879
What everybody laughing about?
393
00:16:40,880 --> 00:16:42,709
What's going on? What's...
394
00:16:42,710 --> 00:16:44,212
What's funny?
395
00:16:48,090 --> 00:16:51,580
Ah, no one said they
wanted nails like yours,
396
00:16:51,600 --> 00:16:54,805
but everyone wants
copies of the picture!
397
00:16:56,015 --> 00:16:57,934
I put mine on a coffee mug.
398
00:16:59,960 --> 00:17:02,502
Oh, yeah? Well, you may
want to put it down
399
00:17:02,503 --> 00:17:03,720
and grab a broom,
400
00:17:03,740 --> 00:17:07,442
because Calvin is about
to spill the beans.
401
00:17:07,443 --> 00:17:09,979
That's right, LaTonya.
402
00:17:09,980 --> 00:17:12,080
You remember back in high school,
403
00:17:12,100 --> 00:17:14,700
when everybody knew
you had a crush on me?
404
00:17:14,701 --> 00:17:17,411
Well, your girl Regina here
went behind your back
405
00:17:17,412 --> 00:17:20,329
- and asked me out on a date.
- What?
406
00:17:20,330 --> 00:17:24,290
Regina, why'd you do that to me?
407
00:17:24,294 --> 00:17:25,939
Okay, listen, girl, don't
hate me, LaTonya.
408
00:17:25,940 --> 00:17:27,200
I can explain.
409
00:17:27,220 --> 00:17:29,260
Girl, wait, I already did.
410
00:17:29,280 --> 00:17:30,299
30 years ago.
411
00:17:30,300 --> 00:17:32,342
Wait-wait a minute, you-you knew?
412
00:17:32,343 --> 00:17:34,540
Oh, that you took Regina roller-skating
413
00:17:34,560 --> 00:17:36,889
and spent the whole night
falling on your ass?
414
00:17:38,010 --> 00:17:39,099
You looked like a baby giraffe
415
00:17:39,100 --> 00:17:40,559
- walking around in high heels.
- Oh, yeah.
416
00:17:40,560 --> 00:17:43,482
Oh! Whoa. Whoa!
417
00:17:43,483 --> 00:17:45,939
Whoa!
418
00:17:45,940 --> 00:17:49,769
Okay, everybody be quiet!
I got something to say.
419
00:17:49,770 --> 00:17:53,720
You two been making fun
of me for way too long.
420
00:17:53,740 --> 00:17:55,599
And I pretended that
it didn't bother me,
421
00:17:55,600 --> 00:17:58,160
but the truth is your words hurt.
422
00:17:58,161 --> 00:18:00,495
Probably not as much as
falling on your butt did.
423
00:18:02,790 --> 00:18:06,890
Let the man finish!
424
00:18:08,880 --> 00:18:12,799
I mean, do you guys know
how hard it was for me
425
00:18:12,800 --> 00:18:15,261
to come in here and try
to make peace with you?
426
00:18:16,590 --> 00:18:20,020
After all the mean things
that you said about me.
427
00:18:20,040 --> 00:18:21,800
I extended an olive branch,
428
00:18:21,820 --> 00:18:25,389
and all you did was try
to make me look small.
429
00:18:25,390 --> 00:18:29,200
When the truth is you're
the ones who are small.
430
00:18:29,220 --> 00:18:31,760
'Cause bullying and name-calling,
431
00:18:31,780 --> 00:18:33,620
that's just tearing people down,
432
00:18:33,640 --> 00:18:35,432
when what we should be doing
433
00:18:35,433 --> 00:18:37,407
is lifting each other up.
434
00:18:37,408 --> 00:18:40,199
But maybe that's just me.
435
00:18:40,200 --> 00:18:41,760
Nah, I feel you, Calvin.
436
00:18:41,780 --> 00:18:44,540
My father used to make fun
of me because of my dream.
437
00:18:44,560 --> 00:18:47,543
Because of him, I gave up ballet.
438
00:18:49,290 --> 00:18:51,820
The kids at school used
to make fun of my Nikes.
439
00:18:51,840 --> 00:18:54,500
Talking about the logo was upside down.
440
00:18:54,520 --> 00:18:56,594
They used to call me "Off-Brand."
441
00:18:57,540 --> 00:18:58,970
See that, Calvin?
442
00:18:58,971 --> 00:19:00,472
It looks like you're not
the only one who...
443
00:19:00,473 --> 00:19:02,975
I still sleep with a blankie.
444
00:19:03,840 --> 00:19:05,140
What are y'all looking at?
445
00:19:05,144 --> 00:19:06,812
Trey want to wear a tutu.
446
00:19:06,813 --> 00:19:09,272
And that's okay.
447
00:19:09,273 --> 00:19:12,526
Because we all have vulnerabilities.
448
00:19:12,527 --> 00:19:15,570
But it's not cool for y'all
to make fun of 'em.
449
00:19:15,571 --> 00:19:17,673
What the hell is wrong with y'all?!
450
00:19:17,674 --> 00:19:20,980
Is this a barbershop or
an ice cream parlor?
451
00:19:21,000 --> 00:19:23,409
'Cause all you guys are soft-serve.
452
00:19:23,410 --> 00:19:24,600
Oh, that's it.
453
00:19:24,620 --> 00:19:27,916
I want you out of here.
Trey, get the door.
454
00:19:27,917 --> 00:19:29,470
My pleasure.
455
00:19:31,560 --> 00:19:32,959
Know what?
456
00:19:32,960 --> 00:19:35,220
Fine. Let's get out of here, Regina.
457
00:19:35,223 --> 00:19:37,593
I'm right behind you, LaTonya.
458
00:19:37,594 --> 00:19:39,520
Out of my way, Off-Brand!
459
00:19:41,222 --> 00:19:44,100
Calvin, that was amazing.
460
00:19:44,120 --> 00:19:46,100
I can't believe how vulnerable you were.
461
00:19:46,102 --> 00:19:49,105
What I can't believe is that
they actually went for it.
462
00:19:50,240 --> 00:19:51,390
Went for what?
463
00:19:51,399 --> 00:19:54,484
I made up all that touchy-feely stuff
464
00:19:54,485 --> 00:19:56,649
to turn the room against them.
465
00:19:56,650 --> 00:19:58,740
I got the idea from Lindsay Lohan.
466
00:19:58,760 --> 00:20:00,239
Remember when she does the sappy speech
467
00:20:00,240 --> 00:20:01,616
- at the end of Mean Girls?
- Yeah.
468
00:20:01,617 --> 00:20:03,034
You saw it?
469
00:20:03,035 --> 00:20:05,722
Oh, a bunch of times.
And you were right.
470
00:20:05,723 --> 00:20:08,165
Way better than Never Been Kissed.
471
00:20:12,370 --> 00:20:14,320
Hey, yo, Malcolm, check this out.
472
00:20:14,340 --> 00:20:16,840
I just got messaged
by this superhot girl
473
00:20:16,860 --> 00:20:18,839
who claims to be an engineer,
474
00:20:18,840 --> 00:20:20,580
is into Dungeons and Dragons
475
00:20:20,600 --> 00:20:22,721
and collects action figures.
476
00:20:22,722 --> 00:20:25,056
- What? Let me see.
- Mm-hmm.
477
00:20:25,057 --> 00:20:28,018
- Wow, she is fine.
- I know.
478
00:20:28,019 --> 00:20:31,062
- Yeah, that's Dad. Yep. Yep.
- Yeah, that's Dad.
479
00:20:31,063 --> 00:20:34,480
Ha, ha, ha. Not interested.
480
00:20:34,481 --> 00:20:36,818
Get a life, loser.
481
00:20:43,710 --> 00:20:45,492
Wow.
482
00:20:45,493 --> 00:20:47,410
I thought he was my soul mate.
483
00:20:49,290 --> 00:20:51,700
- Synced & corrected by MementMori -
-- www.addic7ed.com --
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