Original subtitles

Provided by explosiveskull https://twitter.com/kaboomskull

May I help you?

Please.

Sit down. Sit.

Fifty.

- Receipt? - No.

Thank you.

Goodbye. Come on.

There was a time,

four straight years, until three days ago,

when I waited for you while I watched a DVD or read.

And you always came back.

The night was ours, and some entire mornings.

There were also afternoons which, as if by magic,

turned into nights.

You always came back.

Until three days ago.

Fuck!

Shut up!

Shit.

Hello?

Oh, it's you.

Oh, you're turning into a robot.

Yes, that's better. I hear you now.

I-I was in the street.

I can't hear the phone in the street.

Thank you for calling back.

Oh, I haven't stopped.

I went to the theater the last two nights with Marta,

and, uh, I took some drugs.

And, uh... Oh, also I saw Fabian, my agent.

Compulsively I've taken to eating.

Well, if there's one thing I don't have to complain about, it's my metabolism.

It burns everything.

I, uh... Vietnamese and Italian. I don't know the name.

Well, to be honest, the last three days, I haven't stopped.

I don't know if I'm amused, exactly.

Yeah, you're right. My mind is very occupied, yes.

And I don't stop.

I'm escaping.

Well, you told me to go out.

Escape, go out. What does it matter? They're the same thing.

Last night?

Uh, I... I went to bed. Very early.

I was very tired, and I went to sleep quickly, and, um...

And then Sofia came, and we had lunch, and then we went shopping.

Mmm. Silly stuff.

Things for the apartment. Practical things.

In the future, I'm going to be a practical woman for a change.

And, uh... And I have to keep occupied. That's what my therapist said.

I went to see him too.

Well, I had to go.

To save you and to save me.

I've loved you so much.

I've been afraid of hurting you.

Didn't you realize that I'd get nervous

whenever we were in the kitchen and I'd see a knife

and I'd have to put it away immediately.

It scared me to imagine I might be sticking a knife in your chest.

Kill you? No, no, no, no, never.

The opposite.

It's like, uh...

It's like Marta with her vertigo.

And-And-And the worse thing about heights

isn't that she becomes light-headed when faced with the void.

It's that the void attracts her, like a magnet.

Do you understand?

It's like her fear of falling pushes her to jump.

And then-then the same thing happened to me with the knives.

The fear of something bad happening to you.

It made me imagine my hand was wielding a knife

and I was sticking it into you.

I... I became terrified of myself.

I mean, for a second, I was visualizing your wounded, bleeding body.

You can't even imagine how I felt.

I... I was afraid of myself.

And I needed expert help.

So I went to a therapist.

That I need to invent new habits.

Replace all the ones I acquired with you.

Even though I don't want to do anything.

Even though I do everything like an automaton.

Yes, but don't worry, I never mention your name.

Yes, I'll throw myself into my work.

You won't believe it, but Fabian, my agent, says that

women of my age are fashionable again.

Timeless beauty, he calls it. The clients love my pallor.

That mixture of madness and melancholy.

I think it's a fucking joke.

I'm a waste. I'm a ruin of what I once was.

But if that's what sells now.

And it'll be good to work on something.

Yes, your cases are packed.

They have been for three days.

They're here, fed up of waiting for you.

Sense of humor?

Well, I never really managed to use it with you.

When I'm crazy about someone, I lose my sense of humor.

It's very inconvenient, not being able to be funny

with the one person you'd most like to be funny with.

No, I wasn't funny with you.

I was... special.

Daring.

Submissive.

Thin.

Passionate.

And fortunate.

I came into your life at a time when you wanted to try new things,

new feelings.

As if desiring someone wasn't the oldest feeling in the world.

And I was a different woman.

So different that at times, I think you forgot that I was also a woman.

Yes, and I accepted the situation.

I'm not saying that I enjoyed sharing you,

but given the circumstances, I accepted the humiliation.

Even though I suffered like an animal.

No, I know it wasn't your intention. I'm not reproaching you.

I was aware of it, but I didn't enjoy any the less because of it.

I suffered like an animal, but I enjoyed like an animal.

I was so drunk, so intoxicated.

I forgot about reality and time.

But reality always prevails.

Our love was going against a lot of things,

and I accepted the risks.

And what I got in exchange was four years of happiness with you.

I never thought life would adapt to my desires.

I paid a very high price.

But what I got in exchange is beyond measure.

I'm not accusing you, my love, and I'm not fooling myself.

These are the rules of the game, the law of desire.

And four years of happiness with you...

it's priceless.

I accept everything.

You can blame me for being an adventuress but I always pay my price.

No, you're right, it's not good taste to talk about price. I'm sorry.

Ah, here comes the dog.

He always knows when it's you on the phone.

You have to take him.

He's like a lost soul.

He-He spends his whole day looking for you around the apartment,

and when we go out, through the whole neighborhood.

And when I was packing your things, he was hitting me with his paws.

I mean, he knows what's going on but he does not understand it.

How can he understand it?

No, you must take him.

He's going to be miserable. He already is miserable.

He misses you so much.

He's not interested in me.

He's your dog.

No, you...

He... You're the one he wants.

Your letters? How could I burn them?

No, I put them in a little Chanel case.

You burn them if you want to.

I'm sending you everything.

Your letters and mine and... all notes.

I kept all the notes.

The notes are beautiful.

You know, every word you ever wrote me.

You have them there, so you don't need to worry

that I'll try to blackmail you or sell them to a tabloid.

Well, no, I would never do it, but this way, you can be even surer.

The only words I'm keeping are...

the ones you spoke to me in person.

They're engraved on my heart.

I'm doing my best to erase them

since I can't send them with the correspondence.

So, anyway, your, um, suitcases are packed, and your leather shoe bags,

so you can come and get them whenever you want.

The black suit?

Yes. I collected it from the cleaners.

I put it in a suit carrier. Separate.

José?

No! You have to come.

That's what we agreed on. That you would come.

You don't say goodbye to a woman you've loved for more than four years

with a telephone call!

I've been waiting for you for three days,

practically tied to the leg of the bed, waiting for you,

without going anywhere.

The theater?

How could I go to the theater in this state?

I didn't go out with Marta!

I haven't eaten with her or anyone. I haven't eaten a bite in three days!

I haven't just come in from the street. I haven't left the house.

You said you would come.

Well, it's true that Marta has vertigo.

It is not true that I went to the therapist.

I told you that to reassure you.

It is true about the knives. And don't complain. I never attacked you.

And it is also true that my agent, Fabian, called, and one or two ads have come up,

and at my age and in my current state, some clients like me.

No, I went out once to buy something.

But don't ask me what, because I'm not gonna tell you.

Am I all right?

Are you really asking me that?

No, I am not all right!

These last three days, I've lost control more than once!

When you didn't come and you didn't call,

I attacked the bed with an ax!

And then I took a load of pills.

When you called, I was unconscious!

Thirteen pills. I counted them.

Thirteen's my lucky number.

No, don't shout. I'm sorry I shouted.

Just... I... I just... Let me tell you everything then.

I wasn't going to, but as you can see,

I'm incapable of keeping anything from you.

The pills. I... I knew that the combination wasn't lethal.

I know all about drugs. They've been my only friend for some time now.

No, my love, I staged it.

I was hoping someone would find me, and at that moment, you called,

and it woke me up.

I'm not trying to blackmail you.

I just want to finish what I was telling you.

I know this is your last call, that you'll never call again.

I've been like a wreck these last three days.

Today I got dressed for the first time.

I had to put on a lot of makeup. I looked so terrible.

And I wanted you to find me looking pretty.

Dead but pretty.

Darling, I didn't to it. I'm here, I'm alive, I'm talking to you.

I... I... No, it was just an idea.

I... I've done nothing these days but wait.

You're allowed to think while you wait, aren't you?

No, I-I'm... I don't want to shout.

I'm... Forgive me.

I admit I did consider throwing myself off the terrace.

But you don't like gory spectacles. You're opposed to blood.

You can be violent, but you don't like blood, wherever it comes from.

No, pills were... the best.

A sweet death. Disappearing into a dream.

Well, that wasn't my dream.

No, my dream was to disappear with you.

I didn't mind where.

Yes. That was my dream, not yours.

But admit...

at one time, we dreamed the same.

Hello?

H... Are... Are we cut off?

Or did you hang up?

Coward!

Hello?

Oh, it's you.

Yes, we got cut off. It happens sometimes. Thank you for calling back.

To say goodbye, yes.

I'm... I'm so sorry that I lost my temper.

And send José whenever you like.

I'll leave your things with the doorman.

It's just such a pity that we're... saying goodbye like two strangers.

Well, I can't think of any other way of stringing this goodbye out.

I... I just want to ask you one little thing.

I'm on the terrace. I came out to water the plants.

Go out onto the terrace where you are. Oh, you're not at home?

Well, wherever you are, go to the window and look towards our attic.

I'm not asking you where you are, who you're with,

whether you made love last night.

I'm just asking you to go to the window

and turn to where we lived together.

I know you don't see me.

I'm on the terrace too, saying goodbye.

It doesn't matter that you don't see me.

Just look towards here and imagine me.

Yeah. Some smoke.

Yes. Some flames.

I'm what's burning, my love.

I'm gonna hang up now.

I have to learn to hang up on you, darling.

Goodbye.

Dash.

Come on. Come.

Come on. Good boy.

Dash, I want to talk to you.

So I'm your master now. All right?

And you're gonna have to get used to the idea

that you and I, we're going to mourn him together.

All right?

What do you think about that? Can we have a pact?

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