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1
00:00:08,809 --> 00:00:11,209
From this humble
airfield,
2
00:00:11,245 --> 00:00:13,205
a journey of epic
proportions.
3
00:00:13,247 --> 00:00:15,617
These brave explorers
will make their way
4
00:00:15,649 --> 00:00:17,189
to Cape Canaveral
5
00:00:17,218 --> 00:00:19,318
for tomorrow's
historic launch of the
6
00:00:19,353 --> 00:00:22,163
first ever manned
mission to Mars.
7
00:00:22,190 --> 00:00:25,130
These pioneers
of space known as
8
00:00:25,159 --> 00:00:27,599
"The Mars 9" must
today say goodbye
9
00:00:27,628 --> 00:00:30,358
to their loved ones and
tomorrow to this
10
00:00:30,398 --> 00:00:34,268
spinning blue marble
we call Earth.
11
00:00:35,236 --> 00:00:38,306
[indistinct papparazzi
chatter]
12
00:00:42,643 --> 00:00:44,853
- Whenever you
look at the moon,
13
00:00:44,878 --> 00:00:49,148
just know that I'm looking
at the same moon.
14
00:00:49,183 --> 00:00:50,223
- Are you?
15
00:00:50,251 --> 00:00:54,661
I think Earth and Mars have
different moons, Baby.
16
00:00:54,688 --> 00:00:56,288
- What about the sun?
17
00:00:56,324 --> 00:01:00,494
- Same sun.
18
00:01:08,202 --> 00:01:10,542
These intrepid
men and women will depart
19
00:01:10,571 --> 00:01:14,441
not knowing when, or even if,
they will return.
20
00:01:14,475 --> 00:01:16,235
- Mrs. Von Webber,
over here.
21
00:01:16,277 --> 00:01:18,647
You look stunning.
22
00:01:22,483 --> 00:01:24,323
[theme song]
* Hey yes you know
23
00:01:24,352 --> 00:01:28,662
* I'm feeling fine
I'm feeling fine *
24
00:01:29,457 --> 00:01:32,257
- Welp, said goodbye
to Lex.
25
00:01:32,293 --> 00:01:34,133
I can't believe he's
really leaving.
26
00:01:34,162 --> 00:01:36,162
- I'm sorry, Honey.
27
00:01:36,197 --> 00:01:37,597
Could you use some
cheering up?
28
00:01:37,631 --> 00:01:40,901
- Yeah.
I know just the thing.
29
00:01:40,934 --> 00:01:43,204
(flirty)
- Great minds think alike.
30
00:01:43,237 --> 00:01:45,267
- Quality time with
the people I love.
31
00:01:45,306 --> 00:01:49,176
- Or person. We could really
use some reconnecting.
32
00:01:49,210 --> 00:01:50,240
- Exactly.
33
00:01:50,278 --> 00:01:52,208
That's why I signed
us all up for the sleepover
34
00:01:52,246 --> 00:01:54,346
at The Brewton Museum
of Natural History.
35
00:01:54,382 --> 00:01:56,482
- Wait, what?
36
00:01:56,517 --> 00:01:57,717
- The whole family.
37
00:01:57,751 --> 00:01:59,491
- No.
38
00:01:59,520 --> 00:02:01,920
- I mean, I love The Brewton
Museum but sleeping
39
00:02:01,955 --> 00:02:05,225
there with 1000 other
parents and their kids?
40
00:02:05,259 --> 00:02:06,289
I won't survive!
41
00:02:06,327 --> 00:02:08,497
You'll be visiting me in the
Hall of Extinction.
42
00:02:08,529 --> 00:02:10,629
- Isn't it a New York rite
of passage?
43
00:02:10,664 --> 00:02:12,374
- It's a nightmare.
44
00:02:12,400 --> 00:02:14,340
And, between work and
his Dad's Committee,
45
00:02:14,368 --> 00:02:16,398
Andy and I haven't
had sex in weeks.
46
00:02:16,437 --> 00:02:18,707
The other day I caught myself
winking at a zucchini.
47
00:02:18,739 --> 00:02:19,609
- At least you're not
Brooke,
48
00:02:19,640 --> 00:02:22,240
she's not getting any for
light-years.
49
00:02:22,276 --> 00:02:24,506
Am I the only one
who thinks Lex going to
50
00:02:24,545 --> 00:02:27,175
Mars is just a little
bit crazy?
51
00:02:27,215 --> 00:02:29,515
- It's insane.
Mars?!
52
00:02:29,550 --> 00:02:31,250
It takes eight months
just to get there
53
00:02:31,285 --> 00:02:32,615
and once you do
it's a life sentence
54
00:02:32,653 --> 00:02:34,663
of smelling other
people's farts.
55
00:02:34,688 --> 00:02:36,518
- Oh my God, I never
thought of that.
56
00:02:36,557 --> 00:02:39,187
- Yeah, you can't just
crack a window!
57
00:02:39,227 --> 00:02:41,957
I'd rather live in the
upside-down with a Demogorgon.
58
00:02:41,995 --> 00:02:42,755
- Hm?
59
00:02:42,796 --> 00:02:45,226
- "Stranger Things."
Binge pronto.
60
00:02:45,266 --> 00:02:46,466
- I'll watch it tonight.
61
00:02:46,500 --> 00:02:47,400
- You're not working?
62
00:02:47,435 --> 00:02:49,395
- Nope, my schedule got
shifted around.
63
00:02:49,437 --> 00:02:50,797
No more Fridays.
64
00:02:50,838 --> 00:02:52,538
- Okay, in that case,
65
00:02:52,573 --> 00:02:54,783
Forget Winona Ryder talking
to Christmas light.
66
00:02:54,808 --> 00:02:58,808
I all caps beggin you
come tonight, please.
67
00:02:58,846 --> 00:02:59,776
- Pass.
68
00:02:59,813 --> 00:03:01,323
It'll be fun if you
come!
69
00:03:01,349 --> 00:03:03,249
And you'll love it, it's
just like camping.
70
00:03:03,284 --> 00:03:05,454
- Minus the campfires,
and s'mores, nature,
71
00:03:05,486 --> 00:03:06,746
shooting stars.
72
00:03:06,787 --> 00:03:09,287
- Okay, I wasn't going to
do this,
73
00:03:09,323 --> 00:03:12,633
but desperate times...
you owe me.
74
00:03:12,660 --> 00:03:13,560
- For what???
75
00:03:13,594 --> 00:03:16,564
- for getting you laid, like
monster laid,
76
00:03:16,597 --> 00:03:19,397
with that hot rocker
dude in L.A.
77
00:03:19,433 --> 00:03:21,843
- Damn it,
that was an epic lay.
78
00:03:21,869 --> 00:03:26,209
[rock music]
79
00:03:32,780 --> 00:03:35,320
This is already the longest
night of my life.
80
00:03:35,349 --> 00:03:37,019
- Don't worry,
I packed us an array
81
00:03:37,050 --> 00:03:38,590
of essentials to get
us through.
82
00:03:38,619 --> 00:03:39,519
- You did?!
83
00:03:39,553 --> 00:03:41,523
- Yeah, camping sucks
if you don't bring all
84
00:03:41,555 --> 00:03:42,555
the comforts of home.
85
00:03:42,590 --> 00:03:45,660
I've got wine and booze -
wasn't sure what we'd
86
00:03:45,693 --> 00:03:49,433
be in the mood for -
sandwiches from Katz's Deli,
87
00:03:49,463 --> 00:03:51,473
some edibles I got from
a neighbor--
88
00:03:51,499 --> 00:03:54,669
- No drugs or alcohol.
No outside food.
89
00:03:54,702 --> 00:03:56,602
No smart phones or tablets.
90
00:03:56,637 --> 00:04:02,237
Please have your bags
open and ready for inspection.
91
00:04:06,347 --> 00:04:07,817
- You'll need to surrender
your phone, ma'am.
92
00:04:07,848 --> 00:04:11,418
- Just one last text.
93
00:04:15,856 --> 00:04:18,526
- You're the wife of one
of the Mars 9, right?
94
00:04:18,559 --> 00:04:20,429
The famous one,
from the paper?
95
00:04:20,461 --> 00:04:26,671
Yes, I'm Br--,
Mrs. Lex von Weber!
96
00:04:26,700 --> 00:04:28,400
- If you don't mind
me asking,
97
00:04:28,436 --> 00:04:30,366
how are you
holding up?
98
00:04:30,404 --> 00:04:31,444
- Never better!
99
00:04:31,472 --> 00:04:34,582
Other people sacrifice their
lives for our country.
100
00:04:34,608 --> 00:04:40,408
The least I can do is sacrifice
my husband.
101
00:04:41,815 --> 00:04:43,375
- It's not enough to
get us hammered
102
00:04:43,417 --> 00:04:44,517
but it'll at least take
the edge off so
103
00:04:44,552 --> 00:04:47,492
we don't beat ourselves
to death with a dinosaur bone.
104
00:04:47,521 --> 00:04:48,621
- Next.
105
00:04:48,656 --> 00:04:50,486
- Quick, he's not looking.
Put them in your pockets.
106
00:04:50,524 --> 00:04:52,094
- I don't have pockets!
107
00:04:52,125 --> 00:04:53,825
- Mine aren't big
enough.
108
00:04:53,861 --> 00:04:55,661
Andy, you have to
hide these
109
00:04:55,696 --> 00:04:58,366
Shove them up your
butthole, whatever it takes.
110
00:04:58,399 --> 00:04:59,799
- What? No! I can't
break the rules!
111
00:04:59,833 --> 00:05:02,443
Honey, I tried to sneak apple
slices into a movie
112
00:05:02,470 --> 00:05:05,470
theatre and the usher kept
glaring at me like he knew.
113
00:05:05,506 --> 00:05:07,606
I had to leave Passion
of the Christ halfway through.
114
00:05:07,641 --> 00:05:09,411
- Spoiler: he dies.
115
00:05:09,443 --> 00:05:13,713
- Do it!
116
00:05:13,747 --> 00:05:16,717
Next!?
117
00:05:17,585 --> 00:05:18,315
- Bet you get a
lot of people
118
00:05:18,352 --> 00:05:20,422
trying to smuggle
stuff in, huh?
119
00:05:20,454 --> 00:05:23,394
Rules are rules! Why don't
people get that?!
120
00:05:23,424 --> 00:05:27,434
- Sir, what's
that in your pockets?
121
00:05:30,431 --> 00:05:32,931
Every year there's a
trouble maker.
122
00:05:32,966 --> 00:05:36,466
I've got my eyes on you.?
123
00:05:50,551 --> 00:05:51,621
- Now we know what a
one percenters'
124
00:05:51,652 --> 00:05:53,622
refugee camp would
look like.
125
00:05:53,654 --> 00:05:55,394
- I'll drop the twins off
for story hour.
126
00:05:55,423 --> 00:05:57,733
Then Hazel, we'll start
the scavenger hunt.
127
00:05:57,758 --> 00:05:59,428
...Mom...
128
00:05:59,460 --> 00:06:01,800
Babe, why don't you run the
twins over then come back.
129
00:06:01,829 --> 00:06:04,729
We haven't hung out since we
got his and her flu shots.
130
00:06:04,765 --> 00:06:06,425
Plus, I think the
scavenger hunt
131
00:06:06,467 --> 00:06:08,597
is for the kids to do
with each other.
132
00:06:08,636 --> 00:06:09,836
It's for everyone!
133
00:06:09,870 --> 00:06:11,610
Let's head
over, kiddo!
134
00:06:11,639 --> 00:06:13,609
Come on.
135
00:06:13,641 --> 00:06:15,411
- Check out bubble mom.
136
00:06:15,443 --> 00:06:16,743
- Are those adult diapers?
137
00:06:16,777 --> 00:06:19,707
Oh my god yes! I thought she
was an urban legend!
138
00:06:19,747 --> 00:06:21,917
Apparently her kid
goes to Columbia Grammar
139
00:06:21,949 --> 00:06:23,519
and she's such a
germaphobe
140
00:06:23,551 --> 00:06:26,591
she refuses to use a
public bathroom.
141
00:06:26,620 --> 00:06:29,620
- I hope we're not
downwind of her.
142
00:06:29,657 --> 00:06:32,557
- Brooke, hi! I've
been thinking about you
143
00:06:32,593 --> 00:06:34,463
since I saw you from
across the room.
144
00:06:34,495 --> 00:06:35,455
How are you doing?
145
00:06:35,496 --> 00:06:37,566
I had breakfast
with the Mayor this morning.
146
00:06:37,598 --> 00:06:38,968
We're in talks to rename
the onramp
147
00:06:38,999 --> 00:06:42,569
to the Midtown Tunnel
Alexander von Weber Way.
148
00:06:42,603 --> 00:06:44,543
So, never better!
149
00:06:44,572 --> 00:06:45,712
-You've never looked
better.
150
00:06:45,739 --> 00:06:47,479
Your earrings
are criminally insane.
151
00:06:47,508 --> 00:06:49,978
- 25th wedding
anniversary gift from Lex.
152
00:06:50,010 --> 00:06:53,580
We celebrated all the big events
he may miss before he left.
153
00:06:53,614 --> 00:06:56,754
- Oh my god,
what are you doing here?
154
00:06:56,784 --> 00:06:59,024
- Annabelle! What
are you doing here?
155
00:06:59,052 --> 00:07:00,922
- The boys love
the sleep over.
156
00:07:00,954 --> 00:07:02,994
I mean I didn't think we were
gonna make it at first.
157
00:07:03,023 --> 00:07:06,963
But I'm so glad we did.
158
00:07:08,529 --> 00:07:10,899
- Yeah, cool, cool, cool.
Well, you
159
00:07:10,931 --> 00:07:15,641
know me, I've just been rockin'
and rollin'... whatnot..
160
00:07:15,669 --> 00:07:18,939
- Hi, I'm Jill Weber
and this is my friend, Vanessa.
161
00:07:18,972 --> 00:07:20,542
- Annabelle. Annabelle
Hughes.
162
00:07:20,574 --> 00:07:21,584
Hughes?
163
00:07:21,609 --> 00:07:26,509
Yeah I went back to my
maiden name.
164
00:07:26,547 --> 00:07:28,547
Nice meeting
you.
165
00:07:28,582 --> 00:07:30,752
Bye, Simone.
166
00:07:36,557 --> 00:07:39,687
- Congratulations, you
made it to the beaver dam!
167
00:07:39,727 --> 00:07:45,527
Your next clue will
take you to a time before man.
168
00:07:45,566 --> 00:07:46,996
- Pretty sure they
said "No Phones."
169
00:07:47,034 --> 00:07:49,574
- Dad! Ava's diabetic. She
has a
170
00:07:49,603 --> 00:07:52,113
phone in case of
emergencies.
171
00:07:52,139 --> 00:07:53,909
- You're so lucky
you have diabetes.
172
00:07:53,941 --> 00:07:55,641
- Hazel, don't say that.
Diabetes is
173
00:07:55,676 --> 00:07:57,906
a devastating disease that kills
people.
174
00:07:57,945 --> 00:07:59,945
- Oh my God!
175
00:07:59,980 --> 00:08:03,720
- Sometimes! Okay,
Hall of Dinosaurs
176
00:08:03,751 --> 00:08:05,721
is next, let's go!
177
00:08:05,753 --> 00:08:08,493
- Guys, I'm so
sorry.
178
00:08:25,773 --> 00:08:27,983
- Has anyone ever actually
died of boredom?
179
00:08:28,008 --> 00:08:31,848
Clinically speaking, no.
We may be the first.
180
00:08:31,879 --> 00:08:33,009
Checkmate.
181
00:08:33,046 --> 00:08:36,876
- You're X's. Also, this
isn't chess.
182
00:08:36,917 --> 00:08:37,887
Are you okay?
183
00:08:37,918 --> 00:08:39,748
- Never better!
184
00:08:39,787 --> 00:08:41,557
- Lights out in
fifteen minutes.
185
00:08:41,589 --> 00:08:46,829
Which means it's last call
for early exits! Last call!
186
00:08:46,860 --> 00:08:49,730
- Andy would KILL ME if I
left.
187
00:08:49,763 --> 00:08:51,063
And I would kill you.
188
00:08:51,098 --> 00:08:52,928
- Oh, come on, it's just
one night.
189
00:08:52,966 --> 00:08:57,136
Doors closing in
10...9...
190
00:08:57,170 --> 00:08:59,070
XOXO
191
00:08:59,106 --> 00:09:04,136
- No, it's not just one
night. It's 9 every night?
192
00:09:04,177 --> 00:09:05,677
Jill, can I borrow your
car?
193
00:09:05,713 --> 00:09:07,983
- Sure, but where are you--?
194
00:09:08,015 --> 00:09:09,075
Florida. Watch my kids.?
195
00:09:09,116 --> 00:09:11,786
5...4...
196
00:09:11,819 --> 00:09:18,689
3...2...1...
197
00:09:29,770 --> 00:09:34,310
- Andy!! Brooke just bolted
for--
198
00:09:34,341 --> 00:09:39,681
[?] Hi, your mom
is fine.
199
00:09:39,713 --> 00:09:40,813
You're not going to
believe this.
200
00:09:40,848 --> 00:09:43,348
She borrowed our car and
hijacked some adult diapers.
201
00:09:43,383 --> 00:09:45,323
She's going to piss
herself through 16 states
202
00:09:45,352 --> 00:09:47,052
trying to get
to Cape Canaveral.
203
00:09:47,087 --> 00:09:49,157
Just like that Lady
Astronaut!
204
00:09:49,189 --> 00:09:50,689
- Wasn't she driving
there to kill her husband
205
00:09:50,724 --> 00:09:52,364
for cheating on her
with another astronaut?
206
00:09:52,392 --> 00:09:55,362
- Whatever, it's romantic!
207
00:09:55,395 --> 00:09:57,295
-Babe, wanna go laugh at
the conical boobs
208
00:09:57,330 --> 00:10:00,030
on the early Pacific
humanoids?
209
00:10:00,067 --> 00:10:02,667
- Not this trip, but next
time, okay?
210
00:10:02,703 --> 00:10:05,073
- Forget it.
211
00:10:05,105 --> 00:10:11,135
Jill. Okay, back to the--
Hazel?!
212
00:10:13,013 --> 00:10:14,653
Hazel?
213
00:10:14,682 --> 00:10:17,382
[animals shrieking]
214
00:10:21,755 --> 00:10:23,685
Welcome to the
Hall of Moms
215
00:10:23,724 --> 00:10:25,994
where we have every
species known to man
216
00:10:26,026 --> 00:10:31,766
from the Suburbosaurus Anorex to
the Botoxified VOmitocious.
217
00:10:31,799 --> 00:10:34,799
We are way too sober
for this.
218
00:10:34,835 --> 00:10:38,435
Oh look, that weekend dadisour
is about to go extinct.
219
00:10:38,471 --> 00:10:41,111
Poor thing doesn't stand a
chance against those cougars.
220
00:10:41,141 --> 00:10:44,141
You should go rescue him before
he winds up like that gazelle.
221
00:10:44,177 --> 00:10:49,417
You're well aware of my strict
"no dads" policy.
222
00:10:49,449 --> 00:10:51,049
Ah! Was that a flask!
223
00:10:51,084 --> 00:10:53,124
Oh, I'm on it.
224
00:10:53,153 --> 00:10:56,693
- Jill will you be a dear and
watch my kids for me?
225
00:10:56,724 --> 00:10:59,294
- Sure, do your thing.
226
00:11:06,433 --> 00:11:10,103
Is that a face bra?
227
00:11:13,173 --> 00:11:15,243
- Wait, you don't mean
all night.
228
00:11:15,275 --> 00:11:20,205
'Cause Brooke's
kids here.
229
00:11:22,783 --> 00:11:24,423
- She's sawing
logs like Paul Bunyon.
230
00:11:24,451 --> 00:11:27,251
She's right in Ben
Franklin's G- spot.
231
00:11:27,287 --> 00:11:28,387
- 'Scuse me?
232
00:11:28,421 --> 00:11:30,161
You know that
precise place under a
233
00:11:30,190 --> 00:11:31,290
dome where if you
whisper
234
00:11:31,324 --> 00:11:33,894
it echoes throughout
the whole hall?
235
00:11:33,927 --> 00:11:36,457
- UGH. Of course I got the
worst cots.
236
00:11:36,496 --> 00:11:39,366
Oh there are way worse; if
you're on the perimeter
237
00:11:39,399 --> 00:11:41,769
you can count
on an encounter with a rat.
238
00:11:41,802 --> 00:11:44,302
- (horrified)
Great, thanks.
239
00:11:44,337 --> 00:11:46,407
- Jill, this is Dean.
240
00:11:46,439 --> 00:11:49,109
Thanks for sharing your
space with us.
241
00:11:49,142 --> 00:11:51,212
This dead beat
is Tucker.
242
00:11:51,244 --> 00:11:52,514
- Welcome! Sorry it's
crowded.
243
00:11:52,545 --> 00:11:54,915
I suddenly have eleven
children.
244
00:11:54,948 --> 00:11:57,278
His mom packed the bag
and forgot pj's.
245
00:11:57,317 --> 00:12:01,147
And almost everything
else Luckily she remembered
246
00:12:01,188 --> 00:12:03,388
this or I'd be in
big trouble.
247
00:12:03,423 --> 00:12:04,423
- I don't suppose you
want to share
248
00:12:04,457 --> 00:12:07,457
that with a couple
of ladies who just saved you
249
00:12:07,494 --> 00:12:10,404
from being eaten alive by a
pride of single moms.
250
00:12:10,430 --> 00:12:13,230
- Uh, sure I guess.
251
00:12:13,266 --> 00:12:14,796
- Cough syrup?
252
00:12:14,835 --> 00:12:15,835
- With codeine.
253
00:12:15,869 --> 00:12:16,799
It's the only thing that lets
him sleep through
254
00:12:16,837 --> 00:12:20,937
that cough but I
could get us some alcohol.
255
00:12:20,974 --> 00:12:21,574
- Really?
256
00:12:21,608 --> 00:12:23,138
- You want to help me try?
257
00:12:23,176 --> 00:12:24,506
- Jill, can you watch
his kid?
258
00:12:24,544 --> 00:12:27,384
- Sure. If you see Andy just
tell him the Old Woman
259
00:12:27,414 --> 00:12:30,854
in the Shoe is
looking for him.
260
00:12:34,154 --> 00:12:37,124
[rock music]
261
00:12:43,196 --> 00:12:48,966
- I smell computers,
right here.
262
00:12:49,002 --> 00:12:52,472
- What are you doing?
It's locked.
263
00:12:52,505 --> 00:12:55,335
Oh come on.
264
00:12:59,346 --> 00:13:02,446
- Wow, nice hands.
You a felon?
265
00:13:02,482 --> 00:13:04,382
- Ha! Latch key kid.
Probably
266
00:13:04,417 --> 00:13:07,987
could've turned
pro though actually.
267
00:13:08,021 --> 00:13:10,361
-So, are you
like a computer whiz?
268
00:13:10,390 --> 00:13:14,160
- I'm actually a hacker.
269
00:13:14,194 --> 00:13:16,304
- You just hit "control
alt delete."
270
00:13:16,329 --> 00:13:17,929
- You a hacker too?
271
00:13:17,965 --> 00:13:20,995
- I run the IT department
for an investment firm.
272
00:13:21,034 --> 00:13:25,874
Okay, Amazon Prime Now is
at our finger tips.
273
00:13:25,906 --> 00:13:30,936
A couple bottles of white,
couple bottles of red. Popcorn?
274
00:13:30,978 --> 00:13:32,878
- Ooooh, Sriracha.
275
00:13:32,913 --> 00:13:34,983
- How do we
get a delivery in?
276
00:13:35,015 --> 00:13:38,445
- Deliver to Fire Escape
on Southeast
277
00:13:38,485 --> 00:13:42,285
side of museum. That window's
gotta open, right?
278
00:13:42,322 --> 00:13:45,992
- Genius. Okay, click
purchase. Done!
279
00:13:46,026 --> 00:13:49,296
Delivery within an hour!?
280
00:13:53,566 --> 00:13:58,306
- I'll get supplies and
meet you at the emergency exit.
281
00:13:58,338 --> 00:14:00,438
- Okay.
282
00:14:05,478 --> 00:14:07,948
- So, how do you know
Annabelle?
283
00:14:07,981 --> 00:14:09,521
- We were... summer
friends.
284
00:14:09,549 --> 00:14:11,019
We did everything
together.
285
00:14:11,051 --> 00:14:16,521
Spinning, hot spinning,
yoga, yoga-spinning.
286
00:14:16,556 --> 00:14:18,386
It was the best
summer of my life.
287
00:14:18,425 --> 00:14:19,655
- Reminds me of
that article,
288
00:14:19,692 --> 00:14:20,832
did you read it?
289
00:14:20,860 --> 00:14:22,000
It's about all these Hamptons
women who spend the summer
290
00:14:22,029 --> 00:14:26,229
working out together and
then fully start having affairs?
291
00:14:26,266 --> 00:14:26,966
They called it -
292
00:14:27,000 --> 00:14:31,600
"Lesbians Until
Labor Day"
293
00:14:34,174 --> 00:14:36,014
- It just sort of happened
and by the time
294
00:14:36,043 --> 00:14:37,983
summer ended we vowed to
leave our husbands.
295
00:14:38,011 --> 00:14:40,181
Only I chicken'd out.
296
00:14:40,213 --> 00:14:41,953
- Do you love her?
297
00:14:41,982 --> 00:14:44,922
She obvissimmi loves you,
she left her husband for you.
298
00:14:44,952 --> 00:14:48,022
- I think about her every
time I mount that saddle...
299
00:14:48,055 --> 00:14:51,925
- Okay, normally, I'd
neck punch who said this
300
00:14:51,959 --> 00:14:54,129
but, you need to tell her
how you feel.
301
00:14:54,161 --> 00:14:55,631
Okay.
302
00:14:55,662 --> 00:14:56,362
Watch my ki--?
303
00:14:56,396 --> 00:14:59,326
- Kids, yeah,
yeah. Go,go, go.
304
00:15:03,103 --> 00:15:05,973
- Please drop delivery bag
in sheet hammock,
305
00:15:06,006 --> 00:15:08,936
then tug. Thanks, Dean.
306
00:15:08,976 --> 00:15:09,936
Good, right?
307
00:15:09,977 --> 00:15:12,647
- Yeah. And here:
308
00:15:13,213 --> 00:15:16,153
Nice touch.
309
00:15:16,183 --> 00:15:18,253
Is it on?
310
00:15:23,991 --> 00:15:25,031
It's stuck.
311
00:15:25,058 --> 00:15:27,088
Oh shucks.
312
00:15:27,127 --> 00:15:30,027
Here.
313
00:15:30,063 --> 00:15:33,203
Woah, woah, careful,
careful.
314
00:15:40,140 --> 00:15:44,180
Anabelle.
315
00:15:44,211 --> 00:15:47,011
I want to apologize
for the way I acted earlier.
316
00:15:47,047 --> 00:15:49,717
And for last
summer.
317
00:15:49,749 --> 00:15:52,149
I appreciate your
apology.
318
00:15:52,185 --> 00:15:55,485
- Seeing you tonight, I --
I really miss you.
319
00:15:55,522 --> 00:15:57,362
I really miss you, too.
320
00:15:57,390 --> 00:16:02,360
- It's almost summer.
Let's spin it together.
321
00:16:02,395 --> 00:16:06,765
- What happens in
September?
322
00:16:06,799 --> 00:16:09,269
- I'm not going to be your
dirty little secret, Simone.
323
00:16:09,302 --> 00:16:11,442
- You know I love you!
I'd leave Sebastian if I could--
324
00:16:11,471 --> 00:16:14,311
- My books on tape have
taught me that love
325
00:16:14,341 --> 00:16:17,411
is a verb and actions
speak louder than words.
326
00:16:17,444 --> 00:16:21,214
Right now I see you
loud and clear.
327
00:16:33,060 --> 00:16:35,130
- Sir? Hi. I know we got
off on the wrong foot,
328
00:16:35,162 --> 00:16:37,032
but I need some
assistance.
329
00:16:37,064 --> 00:16:39,304
- The smuggler needs help?
Typical.
330
00:16:39,332 --> 00:16:42,102
- My daughter, Hazel,
is lost.
331
00:16:42,135 --> 00:16:43,035
- Where'd you last
see her?
332
00:16:43,070 --> 00:16:45,410
- About an hour ago,
near the Planetarium.?
333
00:16:49,842 --> 00:16:51,382
Go back.
334
00:16:51,411 --> 00:16:53,351
That's her, right there,
that's her!
335
00:16:53,380 --> 00:16:54,480
- She's in the
East African Hall.
336
00:16:54,514 --> 00:16:56,424
Thank god.
337
00:16:56,449 --> 00:16:57,379
- What'd you think
The T-Rex
338
00:16:57,417 --> 00:17:01,247
reanimated and gobbled
her up?
339
00:17:01,288 --> 00:17:02,258
- Well, she's only eleven.
340
00:17:02,289 --> 00:17:04,559
Then you'd better run in there
and rescue her!
341
00:17:04,591 --> 00:17:09,231
- I'm just gonna go make
sure she's okay.
342
00:17:09,496 --> 00:17:11,326
- Fun police.
343
00:17:11,364 --> 00:17:15,104
- The grossest thing was
probably a teratoma.
344
00:17:15,135 --> 00:17:19,805
It's a benign tumor, but this
one had grown teeth and hair.
345
00:17:19,839 --> 00:17:21,509
The beginnings of
an eyeball--
346
00:17:21,541 --> 00:17:24,311
The beginnings of an
eyeball?!
347
00:17:24,344 --> 00:17:27,084
- Holy crap! It's here!
348
00:17:27,114 --> 00:17:27,914
- I've never been
more excited
349
00:17:27,947 --> 00:17:30,817
to drink screw top
wine in my life.
350
00:17:30,850 --> 00:17:33,290
- Thank you!
351
00:17:41,661 --> 00:17:45,401
- Jeez, how many condoms
are in here?!
352
00:17:45,432 --> 00:17:49,242
- I didn't order those! I
mean, I did, but not for us.
353
00:17:49,269 --> 00:17:52,369
Not that I don't want to,
you're a knockout
354
00:17:52,405 --> 00:17:53,635
and a good tipper...
355
00:17:53,673 --> 00:17:56,543
They must have already
been in my cart.
356
00:18:00,347 --> 00:18:01,507
- Crap..
357
00:18:01,548 --> 00:18:03,578
- Oh, I thought that was
pretty good.
358
00:18:03,616 --> 00:18:06,816
- It was, I just don't
date Dads.
359
00:18:06,853 --> 00:18:08,263
- Why?
360
00:18:08,288 --> 00:18:12,128
- Step kids, ex-wives,
it's not for me.
361
00:18:12,159 --> 00:18:15,259
If you're still single when
Tucker turns 18, gimme a call.
362
00:18:15,295 --> 00:18:19,165
- So, there might be a
loophole if my son was older?
363
00:18:19,199 --> 00:18:21,269
- Yeah, I'm not
anti-breeder --
364
00:18:21,301 --> 00:18:29,641
- My son is 26. Tucker's
my grandson.
365
00:18:29,676 --> 00:18:31,436
- But you're so hot!
366
00:18:31,478 --> 00:18:34,408
- Any rule about dating a,
y'know...?
367
00:18:34,447 --> 00:18:38,317
- Nothing in the rule
book about grandpas. ?
368
00:18:44,691 --> 00:18:47,161
- Which kid is the
diabetic?
369
00:18:47,194 --> 00:18:50,564
- Oh, um-- Why do you
want to know?
370
00:18:52,299 --> 00:18:54,469
- What are you doing?!
371
00:19:04,344 --> 00:19:06,714
- It's too low, it's too low,
you have to come over here.
372
00:19:06,746 --> 00:19:09,216
Right in under
Ben Franklin's g-spot.
373
00:19:09,249 --> 00:19:13,249
You got to John Cusack it
and jack it to eleven!
374
00:19:25,732 --> 00:19:29,342
- Our interval training song
from yoga-spin!
375
00:19:44,417 --> 00:19:46,617
- We have one hour before
they turn the lights on.
376
00:19:46,653 --> 00:19:48,423
- What are you talking
about?
377
00:19:48,455 --> 00:19:50,615
- I've been chasing the
wrong girl all night.
378
00:19:50,657 --> 00:19:51,787
You're coming
with me.
379
00:19:51,824 --> 00:19:55,534
- You gonna throw me over
your shoulder like a caveman??
380
00:19:55,562 --> 00:19:58,332
- What!
381
00:19:59,666 --> 00:20:02,366
Could you watch my
twenty-seven kids?
382
00:20:02,402 --> 00:20:04,742
Thanks.
383
00:20:24,357 --> 00:20:27,387
[intense music]
384
00:20:37,504 --> 00:20:39,674
- Noooooooooooooo!!!!! ?
385
00:20:55,688 --> 00:20:58,988
- I got off the rocket.
386
00:20:59,025 --> 00:21:00,055
- Lex?
387
00:21:00,092 --> 00:21:03,832
- Without you Mars just seemed
like an inhabitable,
388
00:21:03,863 --> 00:21:08,003
wasteland with acid rain
and shitty wifi.
389
00:21:08,034 --> 00:21:11,744
I can just go to Newark
for that. I love you.
390
00:21:19,746 --> 00:21:23,676
Are you wearing
a diaper?
391
00:21:24,083 --> 00:21:26,623
For more Odd Mom Out,
go to bravotv.com.
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