All language subtitles for Mom s08e17 A Community Hero.eng

Okay, everyone, I
have exciting news!

Oh, no, not you guys. Just us.

Ooh, my bad for standing up.

Is this exciting news about me

or can I eat my burger
while you tell it?

It's Marjorie's news.

Burger it is.

Tell it.

Well, I found out today
that I'm being honored

with a Napa Valley
Community Hero Award.

Did all the firemen
leave town?

What Bonnie means is,
congratulations.

Well done.

Is there a gala?

There is.

It's two weeks from Friday,

and you can bring a date.

I've invited my son.

Jerry's coming?

Mm-hmm.
Jerry?

Has that always been his name?

Yes.

Huh.

You might want to rethink that.

Well, I will be there
and so will Andy.

We get it. You're back together.

Geez, it's only been
a couple months.

I couldn't have said Andy and I
are back together that much.

You did it again.
Sorry.

I'm just happy
Andy and I are back together.

Back together, back together,
back together.

(chuckles)

Who nominated you?

I have no idea.

It wasn't me.

That's interesting.

No one else jumped in
to deny it.

It wasn't me.

Mm-hmm. Okay.

If anything,
I think you get more credit

than you deserve.

Mm.

Well, I've also been asked
to select someone

to present me with the award,

and it seems only fitting

that the person who
"didn't nominate me" do that.

It wasn't me.

Wait a minute, onstage?
Yes.

Do I give a speech?
Is there a time limit? Yeah.

I'll ask.
Don't bother. I'll ignore it anyway.

Hey. Everyone,

I have been asked to give
a speech two weeks from Friday.

None of you are invited,

but I'm sure,
much like my rant at the DMV,

it'll find its way
onto the Internet.

But, seriously, it wasn't me.

♪ ♪

Ouch.
(laughing)

Oh, hey, babe. How was work?

Good. Didn't think
you'd still be up.

Have you ever watched
these Dean Martin roasts?

N-Not at 3:00 in the morning

or in the last 40 years.
Well...

I need joke ideas
for my speech about Marjorie.

And the beauty is no one can
sue me 'cause they're all dead.

Wait, I thought you were
just supposed to introduce her.

Yeah, that's the mistake
anyone else would make.

Marjorie is going to give
the most boring speech ever,

and if I don't goose things up,

everyone's gonna be facedown
in their crème brûlée.

Ooh, that's good.

I don't know, Bonnie.

She's gonna love it. No one
has a better sense of humor

about themselves than Marjorie.

Why else
would she dress like that?

Oh, my God!

This introduction
is writing itself.

Listen to this.

"Marjorie's so old,
this award better come

with a case of Ensure."

(chuckles):
Wow.

Right? And-- Oh.

"Marjorie is so boring,
her favorite ice cream flavor

is Al Gore."

(laughs)

Geez, will there be
any kids with diseases there

that you can pick on?

I'm not sure. Fingers crossed.

But ten bucks they tap me
to host the next one.

Okay, but I want to go on record
that I think this is a bad idea.

Yeah, well,
your face makes onions cry.

Yeah. That's Don Rickles
zetzing you from the grave.

(whoops)
Check it out, Napa!

In your face!

She does this every
time she's in a limo.

Never bring her to a funeral.

Hope she doesn't take
another bird to the face again.

(exhales, whoops)

Adam, have another drink.
It's free.

I'm still working
on my first one.

(groans)
Amateur.

(laughs)

Hey.
Ooh! Hey.

Ooh, this is fancy.
Hey.

You look beautiful!
Thank you.

(whoops)
This is fancy.

Wow, I've never been
in a limo before.

Oh!
I want to stick my head out the skylight

like they do in the movies.

Absolutely.

Amateur.

Mm.

I thought you said
your son was coming.

He's meeting me there.

Where's Andy?

Ugh, we've already heard
this story.

He had to work.

So sorry you had to suffer
through that twice.

Would you folks
like some music?

Oh, no, thank you.

Okay. Let me know
if you need anything.

Whoa. He's really cute.

Is it too late to add
him as a plus-one?

He's already
wearing black tie.

(window whirring)
Clayton, we'd like to drive with the divider down, please.

(whispers):
You're welcome.

So how do you park
this bad boy?

Very carefully.

(laughing)

(laughing):
Very carefully.

Yeah, I'm gonna jump out
to make room for Wendy.

MARJORIE: No, there's
plenty of room back... Bah, bah, bah, bah,

bah, bah, bah,
bah, bah, bah.

(sputters)

Hi!
Ooh... Ooh! (whoops)

Wow. That's a... great dress.
(chuckles)

I mean,
you look very intelligent.

What-what am I allowed to say?

I-I'll take that second drink.

It's my first time
wearing a strapless.

Good for you.

I've always wanted
to wear one of those,

but I'm too afraid
it'll fall down

and I'll end up
exposing myself, you know?

Not on purpose, like I used to.

I never thought
of that.

And now you won't
be able to stop.

Okay if I join you
in the cockpit?

Sure.

So, you got a date
for this thing?

I do not.

Do you have a date for...

life stuff?

I do not.

(laughs)

Oh, this is good stuff.

I feel sorry for whoever
has to follow me.

It's Marjorie.

Oh, right.

Well, good luck, Marj.
(chuckles)

This food is
off-the-charts delicious.

Well, don't fill up,
'cause there's still dinner.

There's dinner?

I feel like I'm on Dynasty.

Just hope it's better
than the mini quiche,

which is not agreeing with me.

I'm gonna go bring
some food out to Clayton.

He's probably really sexy--
I mean, hungry.

Shut up.

Hey, stop messing with it.

You're gonna stretch it out.

Okay, but if I have
a nip slip, let me know.

I'm on it.

I'm not on it.

I'm just eye level.

So it'd be easy for me

to be on it, but I'm not on it.

Still no word from your son,
whose name is...

Lorenzo?

It's Jerry.

(mouths)

And no.

(sighs)
I guess he's not coming.

Of course he is.

He's probably
just running late.

No. He's punishing me.

For what?

For all the things
I missed in his life.

Hey, maybe he got
in a terrible car accident

and maybe that's why
he can't be here,

because he's trapped.

Alive and fine
but trapped.

Why am I worried
about your speech?

Clearly, you can read a room.

How you holding
up, hero?

You nervous?

I'm fine.

I loved the kindergarten choir.

Ugh. Whoever made them sing "Man
in the Mirror" is going to hell.

Where have you been?
You missed the salad.

I was flirting with a man

for the first time in a year.

Screw the salad.

It had
strawberry dressing.

Damn it, these people
really know what they're doing.

(chuckles)

Jill, honey, are you okay?

I'm fine.

If you don't feel well,
you can go home.

Oh, this is your special night.

(chuckles):
I'm gonna suffer through it.

Did you get the steak
or the fish?

I got the steak, 'cause it
has that gorgonzola sauce.

I really hope they
don't overcook it.

I want to see
blood on the plate.

Super proud of you, Marjorie.

I'll be in the bathroom.

I'm gonna go make sure
she's okay. No, no, no,

you're being honored. I'll go.

If she got the steak,
save it for Clayton.

(whispers):
Shut up.

How you doing, Jill?

I'm on the bathroom floor
in a $3,000 dress,

so not good.

Well, maybe you should go home.

I can't miss
Marjorie's night.

She'll understand.

And I don't want to puke
in Clayton's limo.

We appreciate that.

Oh. I'm already saying "we."

Do you think it's too soon?

(groans) You can get married
at my house

if you just get me a toothbrush
and some Pepto Bismol.

I'm not really
a marriage person.

I could see living with him
though.

Get a dog,
some matching pajamas...

Ugh, just go.
Oh. Sorry.

I will say, he's taller than me,

so if we did get married,
I could wear heels!

Tammy!
Yeah, I'm going, I'm going.

WOMAN:
Oh, my. I am so deeply moved...

A little full of
herself for a nun.

But did you hear
how the priest introduced her?

Serious, emotional,
not a lot of jokes.

Yeah, and like church,
everybody's drinking wine

and praying
for it to be over. WOMAN: Thank you so much.

Beautiful words, Sister.

Who knew so much love could come
from such a tiny package?

(chuckling)

Wendy! Wendy!
Nip slip. Full boob.

You're naked.
Oh, God!

I'm gonna check on her.

You-you can't leave.
Your award is up any minute.

I'll be right back.

But-but you're gonna
miss my moment.

Her moment.
Um, your moment!

Scuse me, it's my moment.

Why didn't you use
boob tape?

There's boob tape?

Okay, I got you Pepto,

ginger ale, a toothbrush.

Oops, that's
Clayton's number.

That's for me.

And just for funsies,
one of these.

A pregnancy test?

There's no way.

Have you slept with Andy?

Nonstop.

Then there's a way.

How you doing, honey?

I don't think
anybody saw.

One of the kindergarteners
spit out his lollipop.

He'll repress it.

And now,

to introduce
our next recipient,

please welcome

Bonnie Plunkett.

(applause)

What do I do?
She's not here.

W-Walk slowly.

(groans)

(chuckling)

Mm.

Mmm.
(exhales)

(chuckling)

Bring it in, Sister.

Oh.

(chuckling)

Just gonna grab one
of those. Mm.

Jill, how are
you doing, honey?

Tammy thinks
I might be pregnant.

It was actually Clayton's idea.

He has three sisters.

I hope they like me.

I mean, what
if I'm not?

(exhales)
There's nothing I want more,

and I can't take
that disappointment.

But then what if I am?

Andy and I
just got back together.

What if he totally freaks out?

Or what if he gets
totally excited about it

and then something bad happens?

I mean, I've had
a miscarriage before.

It could happen again.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Let's just stay in the present.

Honey, I know you're scared,

but whatever happens, you're
not gonna have to face it alone.

We're all here.

Thank you.

But aren't you supposed
to be out there?

Mm-mm.

I'm supposed to be right here.

(inhales, exhales)

Now go pee on that stick.

(laughs)

(clears throat)

Oh.

Look at you.
(chuckles)

(inhales)
You're all heroes.

Give yourself
a round of applause.

And how 'bout
those centerpieces?

Huh?

Someone said
we could take them home.

I don't know if that's true,
but if we time it right,

they can't catch us all.

(snaps fingers)

(chuckles)

Look, I-I spent a lot of time

preparing, uh, this introduction
for my friend Marjorie,

but she's not even here
because she's in the bathroom

because our friends
are having a hard night.

Which is exactly why
you're giving her this award,

because that's who she is.

That really is who she is.

She's humble,

generous,

selfless.

When I first met Marjorie...

(chuckles)

...I was at the lowest point
in my life.

And if it wasn't for her,
I wouldn't...

I wouldn't be here tonight.

And I-I don't mean here.
I mean...

...here.

And what do I do?

(chuckles):
Oh, my God, I tease her.

I-I roll my eyes
when she gives me advice.

I-I...

push her away constantly.

I don't make it easy on her,
but she never gives up on me.

(voice breaking): She's like
the mother I never had.

Hmm.

Well, I had planned

to close with a joke
about her age,

but...
(chuckles)

I don't want to
'cause I love her so much.

I'm available to host next year.

I just told 200 people
that I love you,

and if you don't believe me,
ask the nun. They can't lie.

Oh, honey.
(chuckles)

This moment
really isn't about me.

It's not?
But when is it your turn? Mm-mm.

15 seconds.

Well, that's weirdly specific,
but okay.

I just took a
pregnancy test.

(in deep voice):
And life possibly changing

in five, four, three...
Don't do that voice.

Roger that.

Are you ready?

Let's do it together.
Okay.

It's a pink line.

What does that mean?

I never operated one of these.

Every brand is different.
Get the pamphlet.

I spit my gum in it.
God.

Why didn't you get the one that
says "pregnant/not pregnant"?

I got the one
the pharmacist recommended.

He was cute, too.
I'm having, like, a hot night. Okay.

Okay, we got the box.
We got the box.

Okay, I didn't bring my readers.

I'm pregnant.

(all squealing, laughing)
Oh, God.

Oh, Jill.
(laughs)

Oh, my God.

Oh!

Yeah, doesn't look like
you're gonna get your moment.

EMCEE:
Thank you for joining us...

No, you're right.

It's all about the wide turn.
That's the trick.

The rest is just pretending you
can't hear through the divider.

But you can hear.

Oh, you can hear.

I knew it!

EMCEE:
That concludes

the Napa Valley
Community Hero Awards.

Wait!
Drive safely, everybody.

(applause)
Wait. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

What are you doing?
Now is your moment. Come on.

Give me that.

All right, here's the woman
I was telling you about.

(crying):
The one who saved my life.

Okay, I wouldn't
go that far. Stop it already.

Everyone, on your feet.
Wendy, slowly.

Thank you, Bonnie.

Oh, it feels

weird to get an award for
just showing up for people

the same way
others did for me.

(cries)
And...

Oh, but I'm grateful
for the life that I have

and those I get
to share it with.

(sobbing)

My friends and all the people
at my table.

Jerry. Oh! Oh, I didn't think
you were coming.

Sorry. I had a flat tire
and no cell service.

Are you okay?

Not right now

'cause everyone's looking at me.

I didn't think
you wanted to be here.

Are you kidding? Of course
I want to be here, Mom.

I nominated you.

You... you did?

(sobbing):
Oh, boy.

Oh, then this means
everything to me.

(knocking)

Hello?

Hey.

Andy, what are you doing here?

Bonnie texted me and said
you weren't feeling well.

(quietly):
Well, thank you, Bonnie.

No one else is in here, right?

I don't want
to have to arrest myself.

It's all clear.

So, what's going on?

Did you eat something
that didn't agree with you?

You got a fever?

Need to go to
the hospital?

Um, maybe in, like,
seven or eight months.

I don't follow.

I'm pregnant.

Oh.

If you want to be a part
of it, that's great,

but if you don't,
I totally understand.

It's just that this is
something I've really wanted

in my life, and...
I'm so happy. Oh!

(laughing)
Really?

Really. Hey, did I ever tell
you I was a 14-pound baby?

Most of that was my head.

(laughing)
Oh, I'm so happy.

I thought you said everyone
was gonna grab one of these.

You said, "Run!
We're all behind you."

I say a lot of things.

You'll get used to it, Lorenzo.

How is it that I'm craving
something called a chalupa

when I've never even had
something called a chalupa?

'Cause it's my baby.

I'm gonna teach you
everything I know

about regional
Mexican cuisine.

I am sorry
I made you miss Bonnie's speech.

It was incredibly moving, and no
one was more surprised than me.

Adam didn't think my original
speech was appropriate,

but I know
you have a good sense of humor.

Sounds like you had some
real zingers. Lay 'em on me.

Marjorie's so old,
her prom date was Methuselah.

Ah, I'm so old I'm the only one
who knows who Methuselah is.

Oh. I'm gonna be a dad!

Sorry. Everyone
in here already knows,

and I had
to tell someone.

(tires screeching)
Oh!

WENDY:
Hey, Clayton, take it easy up there.

Too wide?
Uh, we'll get there.

(tires screeching)
Oh.

That was just to get
them back into place.

Oh... right.

Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0