All language subtitles for Mixedish s02e11 Tainted Love.eng

BOW: Growing up, my grandfather
was a perpetual bachelor.

He ran through ladies so fast,

we only knew them
as "Sacramento Stewardess"

and "Pennysaver Print Model."

So my dad never got attached
to the women

my granddad was dating.

I feel like this is
the only place we ever go.

Yeah, maybe next time let's mix it up

and maybe go some place
where they don't repurpose

old garlic sticks for croutons.

Hold up. Is that your dad?

Does he have a girlfriend?

No.

[Laughter]

Ah.

I don't know, hon.
Looks pretty serious.

SANTAMONICA:
He could do so much better.

Who does she think she's fooling
with those press-on nails?

[Sighs]

? In the mix ?

? Oh, oh, oh, they keep trying ?

? But they can't stop us ?

? 'Cause we got a love ?

? That keeps rising up ?

? In the mix ?

? Life turns around ?

? 'Round and 'round it goes ?

? Ooh, it's a mixed-up world ?
? Ooh, it's a mixed-up ?

? And that's for sure ?
? Mixed-up ?

? In the mix ?
? Baby ?

? We're gonna get by ?

? We're gonna ?
? On our own, side by side ?

? Love's all we need to be free ?
? Lo-o-o-ve is all ?

? I got you, you got me ?

? Yaaaaay us! ?

? I-I-In the mix ?

? Yaaaaay us! ?

? I-I-In the mix-ish ?

ALICIA: I've never seen him
on a date before.

This is like seeing Bigfoot
order a medium pepperoni.

What's everyone looking at?

I left my glasses in the car.

I bet it's serious because
I met all my boyfriends here.

This is the most romantic place ever.

MAN: Whoever's puking
in the whack-a-mole machine,

- please stop.
- [Paul chuckles] Romantic.

Well, that's
an interesting way to describe

a millionaire and a blonde
at a dollar-a-slice pizza joint.

Well, what are we supposed to do?

Should we go over and try to say hello?

Maybe send over some mozzarella sticks.

No, we should go someplace else.

What?! No. I love it here.

No, you don't.
You just dissed the salad bar.

I'm too young to be held
accountable for anything I say.

Well, if we're staying, I'm
sending over mozzarella sticks.

- Help him seal the deal.
- No.

- What about a carafe of Diet Coke?
- Stop it.

- A pitcher of mediocre light beer?
- Alicia.

[Harrison clears throat]

We were gonna pretend
not to notice you,

but you made that impossible.

Everyone, this is Georgia.

Georgia.

Of course.

- Nice to meet you all.
- SANTAMONICA: What's your story, woman?

Because you should know,
I don't have a moral compass.

And you wonder why people
think you have a White mom.

Sorry, she's not usually like this.

Why don't you join us?

We can pull up another chair

and get to know each other
over mozzarella sticks.

- Honey, let it go.
- Yep.

Well, we said hello.
Now it's time for us to go.

Nice to meet you.

She didn't mean that.

She smells nice. Was she pretty?

ALICIA: Oh, baby.

Wouldn't it be nice
if there was a place

you could go to drink coffee
and sit and relax,

listening to smooth jazz?

Sounds like people would just
go there to use the bathroom.

[Door opens, closes]

Bow-Bow, is everything all right?

Yeah, Mom, everything's fine.

Aunt Dee-Dee, can I talk to you?

I got a problem.

Is it about your piggy bank?

Because I'm sure the person
who smashed it

and took all your money will pay
you back once her horse wins.

- No, but thanks.
- Hmm.

Anyways, I wore
my airbrushed jeans to school,

and Tamika said they were busted.

Are they busted?

No!

Oh.

They're hot, right?

Oh, girl!

No, it is not hot.

But you can't tell Tamika that.

Act like it's the greatest thing
you've ever worn,

then tell her someone stole them
during gym class.

That's a great idea.

You always give the best advice.

??

- You always give the best advice?
- Mm-hmm.

How often are they coming to you
with this kind of thing?

Not that much.
Just three or four times a day.

I'm good at helping them
with their little problems.

Mm. What kind of problems?

Everything from homework
to how close to midnight

can you feed a gremlin.

The answer is... do not feed them.

Leave dirty furry pets
for the White people.

So they basically come to you
for everything.

Oh, no. Not for money.

Not Aunt Dee-Dee.

I don't love them that much.

??

HARRISON: Hey.

Ah, how did the rest
of the night go with Georgia?

She seems charming.

Yeah. During dinner, she asked
for the manager four times.

She made our waiter quit.

But... ah.

But that's what I like about her.

She knows what she wants.
It's attractive.

Really?

Well, she's different.

I mean, when I'm with her,
I stop thinking about it

as hours I'm not billing clients.

It's like I lose all track of time.

I don't even think of her
as a woman I'm dating.

I think of her as an expensive asset

that needs cultivation
and attention and just...

[Laughs]

Look at me.

I'm gushing.

Wow.

I haven't seen you
this genuinely interested

in someone since Mom left.

- Yeah.
- Well, wait.

If you like her so much,
why'd you take her to a place

that gives out free food
for good report cards?

It's a thing I do, to make sure
that when I'm dating someone,

they're with me for me
and not for my money.

Look, it's very easy to fall
in love with all of this.

So I gotta dirty myself up a little

so I don't look too good to be true.

Dad, if you really like her,

you probably shouldn't
play games with her like this.

I mean, how many good relationships

start off with a lie?

Eh.

Well, you may be right, son.

A woman like that deserves the truth.

Besides, it's all gonna come out
at some point anyway, right?

I mean, do I look like a guy
who doesn't own

a cigar collection
worth more than this house?

Come on.

Who am I gonna fool?

[Laughs] Once upon a time,

there was a beautiful Queen Denise

who was as humble as she was stunning.

You do the best stories, Aunt Denise.

Oh!

You know who also has good stories?

- Oh, oh, oh.
- Excuse me.

Oh, my.

Mommy does.

I am gonna tell you a story
of Princess... Pillow

and her trusty Knight...

Glass of Water.

Mm-hmm.

Princess Pillow was a soft

and fluffy pillow princess
who was colorful and...

Mom, Mom, it worked. I'm asleep.

[Fake snoring]

I'm not... I'm not done yet.

Really?

- [Snoring]
- Really?

I am so sorry.

Put me to sleep too.

Just wait.

So Princess Pillow...

Oh!

While my mom wasn't being honest

about how she felt left out,

my grandfather decided to stop lying.

He had Georgia on his mind.

So...

why are we meeting in a law firm, huh?

This better not be a green card thing

because I am not gonna marry
another Irish immigrant.

I just wanted to tell you the truth.

Brace yourself.

I'm not poor.

In fact, I'm probably

the richest person you've ever met.

Oh.

And I was afraid to tell you this

because I wanted to know for certain

that you liked me for me
and not my money,

which I have a lot of. [Laughs]

So, you want to grab lunch
at a decent restaurant,

or do you need a moment
to compose yourself?

Wow, Harrison, I don't really
know what to say

except, uh...

[Chuckles] I'm just so relieved.

I know. It's like winning
the lotto, right?

Well, in a way, yes.

Now I don't have to worry about you

disliking me for my money.

- Your money?
- Mm-hmm.

I own three of the high rises downtown.

You would be so surprised

how many men are intimidated by that.

Ah!

Ah, s... a man being intimidated
by a woman?

In any way?

[Chuckles] Wimps.

[Laughs]

My grandfather was one of those men.

[Laughs]

Yeah.

Welp...

Georgia is richer than me.

That's what I get for trying
to date a woman

who's old enough to rent a car.

Georgia's got more money than you?

Okay.

I think it's great
that you're dating someone

on your own level.

Doesn't sound so great to me.

Whoever makes the most money
is the shot caller.

Exactly. Which movie
are we gonna go see?

Where are we gonna eat?

What big game are we gonna hunt?

I don't want her telling me
that we're on a giraffe hunt.

I'm a rhino guy.

It's only money, Dad.

You know who says that?
People who don't have money.

That's like the little guy
from "Fantasy Island"

saying it's only height.

You know what this is?

You're scared.

[Scoffs] I am not.

Why else would you run away
from a beautiful

and talented woman who's into you?

No, you're a scared little goat.

[Bleating]

Yeah, my dad, the scared little goat.

[Bleating]

This is the whitest
trash-talking I've ever seen.

It's a commune thing.
Goats frighten easily.

They usually just pass out,

so I don't know
what the noise is about.

- [Bleating continues]
- All right, enough, enough.

You're right.

[Sighs]

Maybe I should just see
what happens if I stick with it.

- Good for you.
- This will be our third date,

the first one not at a fast food chain.

I don't know. This is getting
dangerously close

to a relationship.

Yeah, but see, that's nothing
to be afraid of.

Look, Dad, I've been watching
you date my entire life,

and the way that you go about it

is not good for something more serious.

I was voted Most Respectful
in high school.

Let me teach you.

Just what he needs, dating advice

from a man
who just imitated a damn goat.

- Hmm?
- Damn right.

??

Hey, Mom, have you seen Aunt Denise?

I told all the kids at school
I was a neon black belt,

and I was hoping she could teach me

how to fake my way through it.

You don't need Denise for that.

Let me teach you.

I make grown men cry in the courtroom.

How hard could this be?

Come on.

Let momma show you.

??

Okay, let's begin.

Martial arts is about finding balance.

Like this.

??

Like this?

Exactly.

All you have to do is find your center.

Slow down, and that will impress them.

Okay. I think I'm getting this.

I feel like this is gonna work.

While slowing things down
allowed my mother

to feel connected to her child,

my father sat down to teach
my grandfather

about relationships.

I'm glad you're coming to me
to take this step

because after 17 years of marriage,

I've learned what it takes to make

a long-term relationship work.

And what do you think that is?

- Sex.
- No, it is not.

Not that it's not that,
but that's not what I'm talking about.

You're not talking
about "trust," are you?

Why do you say it like that?

It is "trust."

No, what I'm talking about
is vulnerability.

Honesty.

Allowing the other person

to see the real you and all your flaws.

All right, Dad, let's...
let's try something here.

- Pretend I'm Georgia.
- [Scoffs]

We're on a date.

We're having dinner.

How would you open up to me?

I'd talk about how we should
hurry up and eat dinner

because dessert is what I paid for.

No, Dad, that is not what you would do

because you like this woman.

Come on.

Let's get deep.

I really need you to dig in there.

[Sighs]

Okay. Here's something I would say.

Every time I watch the movie
"Back to the Future," I cry

because it's really about a
father and a son getting closer.

You go.

My son was in a cult for 15 years,

and I was so embarrassed that
I told everybody he was dead.

But I missed him either way.

Okay.

Yeah, see, th-th-that honesty
is what creates bonds.

Yeah, you just go into your date
unafraid

to talk about how you really feel.

Okay, yeah.

This may work.

What did you tell people I died of?

Syphilis.

God.

Hi-ya!

Hi-ya!

Well done, Johan-san.

But make those chucks fast and messy.

Nobody's impressed
by a graceful chucker.

- Come on, go, go.
- Wait, Johan, what are you doing?

Didn't you learn everything
you needed to from me?

Not at all.

And besides, purse chucking is cool.

It's a purse-based martial arts
I'm developing.

But at my school, you get belts
you want to wear.

I'm a Ferragamo.

Well, I guess the kids
don't need me then.

I'll just be the person
who brings them dinner

and... you can fold your own laundry.

Come on, let's get back into it.

Come on, you're not a little kid.

You're a man!

So while Johan was "learning"
from my aunt,

Grandad Harrison tried to take
my dad's lessons to heart.

Well, they didn't have whack-a-mole,

but I thought the steak
was pretty good.

Yeah, and my family
can't afford this place,

so our chances of getting
interrupted are slim.

Will you guys be needing anything else?

Nope. Just the check.

Mm.

Here, I'll take care of it.

Hey, if I had a lady pay for me,

I'd be stoked.

[Thudding]

[Echoing] Lady pay for me...

Lady pay for me...

Lady pay for me...

[Laughter]

??

You've got this.

Her paying the check
doesn't mean anything.

Just be vulnerable.

[Ding!]

Harrison?

Harrison.

[Laughs]

- Is everything all right?
- Uh, uh... yeah.

Yeah, everything's great.

Mm.

You know, actually, uh, to be honest,

I did have a little bit
of a freakout right then

when you paid the check.

Really?

But I'm not afraid to be able
to tell you the truth.

'Cause I think you're special

and I want to be vulnerable with you.

Yeah. Yeah, I know.

You have been vulnerable with me
all night.

About your feelings,
your dreams, and your regrets.

And, um, it's a big turnoff.

I just want to have fun.

Oh, this is why I usually date
younger men.

What are you saying?

Thanks a lot.

She dumped me.

- She dumped you?
- Yes, and I came here

to tell you how terrible
your advice was

in the hopes that it would
make me feel better,

but it's not helping.

That's not doing it either.

When I told Georgia
about my feelings, she bailed.

I had it right
when I was just running around,

telling chicks
that I can't call them back

because I'm about to spend
a month on America's Moonbase.

America doesn't have a Moonbase.

They don't know that.

Oh, D-Dad, come on.

I've seen you do more for Georgia

than I've seen you do
for any other woman.

I mean, you... you participated

in that role-playing exercise we did.

If you ever mention that to anyone,

I swear to God, I'm gon...

I know, I know.

But the fact
that you were willing to do that

shows that you're ready to try
having a real relationship.

You've grown.

Eh, maybe I have.

A little.

But when you open up like that,

you are just asking to get
kicked in the crotch, you know?

O-O-Of course.

But if you never open up,

no one will ever know that you're more

than just a man with money.

And you are more than just a man
with money.

Maybe you're right.

Dad, I'm sorry it didn't work out.

But I feel that the next time
you meet somebody special,

you'll be ready.

I'm gonna go graffiti
one of Georgia's buildings.

Need help?

Yeah, grab some paint.

??

[Sighs]

What are you doing?

Oh, you know, just putting together

a six-course meal for my kids
because I love them so much.

It's a Tuesday.

Oh, I guess an aunt would only whip up

something special on a holiday.

But a mother loves her kids enough

to make a meal that won't be
ready for another four hours.

Okay. Before I confront you on this,

put down the knife.

- [Sighs]
- Have you lost your mind?

I just feel so useless.

The kids used to come to me
for everything.

I answered all their questions,
gave them all advice.

And every time they were
about to get hurt,

they would say, "Hey, Mom, watch this."

And if I wasn't around, they
would wait until I was looking

and then hurt themselves.

But now I don't know who they're
hurting themselves in front of.

- Do you hear yourself?
- [Sighs]

It's just when I see the Band-Aids,

I think, "Who kissed the boo-boo?"

Oh, girl, what's happening
with you is natural.

On some level, you're the enemy now.

"The ruiner of fun."

"Ruiner of fun"?

Their words, not mine.

But come on, you remember
how it was with Mama.

We stopped coming to her
with every little thing,

but we still came to her
for the big things,

like first kisses and big breakups

and getting banned from Mervyn's
for shoplifting.

- What?
- Mama never told you?

- Unh-unh.
- Look.

I know your kids getting older
isn't easy.

But no one,

not even someone as amazing as me,

is going to replace you.

Thanks, Dee.

Do they really call me
"the ruiner of fun"?

They didn't say it as much
as they have a song about it.

Uh, it could be about anybody, though.

Probably Paul.

- [Laughs]
- Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

[Laughs]

In 1987, I got to see the adults

in my life grow and change.

Oh, hey. You just missed dinner.

Got here just in time.

And you are...?

- This is Mindy.
- Hey.

Uh, what's your story?

I don't have a story.

I should get a story.

Okay. We can be friends.

? When the going gets tough ?

My mother realized that

even though her role was different...

Mom?

I need your help with something.

...there would always be
a place for her.

Tamika keeps going after
my jeans, and I want to sue.

Uh, you can't afford me.

? The tough get going ?

But I'll sit and hear your case.

? Whoa, whoa ?

And Dad learned he could give
his father advice.

You're going back
to your old ways, huh?

No, no, I introduced her as Mindy.

I'm pretty sure that's her real name.

Hey.

[Clears throat]

Thanks.

For pushing me a little bit.

Of course, Dad.

[Door opens]

DENISE: Hold up.

- Were you two about to cry?
- What? No.

[Voice breaking] No.

Also, there's a weird woman

stealing a bunch of stuff upstairs.

Cindy, time to go to Pizza Palace!

DENISE: Introducing Denise Johnson's

Accessory to Self-Defense.

For only $19.95,
you can learn how to use

everyday objects on your person
to protect yourself.

Learn my specially developed techniques

like Purse-Jitsu!

Ninja Heel.

No!

Whoop-Ass Belt!

Hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo!

And it's fun for the whole family.

??

So call this number

and order Denise Johnson's
Accessory to Self-Defense.

Act now, and I'll throw in
a pair of boomerang bracelets.

??

You doing good, kids.