Original subtitles

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[ music playing ]

♪ Lord, it's a beautiful mornin' ♪

♪ It's a beautiful mo-oo-r... ♪

♪ ...nin'.

[ laughs ] I love waking up early in the morning.

What's on TV?

Ooh, that's my favorite reality show.

[ laughs ] Look at that.

[ brakes squeal, sirens blaring on TV ]

Now I know y'all ain't trying to run from the cops.

I know there's not kids in that car--

children, you can't run from the po-po.

Don't run from the po-po. Stop, see what they want.

They runnin' from the po-po. They is crazy.

Look at that. [ chuckles ]

Stay off the freeway!

Stay off the freeway if you tryin' to get away.

You can't get on the freeway in that kind of traffic.

I can't watch this. They workin' on my nerves.

A good old-fashioned cartoon. There it is.

That's love. Looks so sweet, makes my heart smile.

- Girl on TV: Hey, we're playing here. - Boy on TV: Yeah.

Ooh, she got an ugly attitude. That little boy, too.

- Joe! - Boy: Just go on, old woman!

"Old woman"? I got your "old woman."

Don't make me come to you. Oh, I wish I could come through that--

I wish I could come through that TV right now and set you straight.

Hey, old lady, you better watch where you walkin' next time.

You wouldn't say that to me, I know it.

You wouldn't say that to me at all. [ chuckles ]

Let me turn this off.

I never seen that button before.

There's a button that says, "Do not push."

"Do not push."

Well...

I think I should push it. What you think?

Nah, I ain't gonna push it.

I'ma push it. I'ma push it.

Don't tell nobody. I'm fixin' to push it.

[ buzzes ]

What's happenin'?

Joe, I don't feel too good.

Joe, I'm going to see the doctor.

[ engine starts ]

[ honks horn ] Heller.

[ honks horn ] Heller.

[ honks horn ] Look out now.

Looky there, ha.

[ barks ]

Bam.

- Catch. - Yeah.

Nothing better than lunch on the go.

[ bangs ]

- Oh, Lord. - [ tires squeal ]

- Ha, yeah. - [ horn honks ]

Ain't nobody gonna set an example for these kids?

[ horns honking, brakes squealing ]

Here you go, old girl. I gotcha, there you go.

Take your time, take your time...

[ quietly ] but hurry up.

Now look here, honey. You go and get you one of them Rascal scooters

to get around next time, all right?

Thank you.

She don't know what I'm talking about.

Now, one of you lazy punks could've helped her.

- She's not my problem. - Not your problem?

Little girl, this is your neighborhood

and y'all been running up and down like y'all don't care about nothin'.

Why you hasslin' us? Just shut it, old lady.

What? Oh, I'll shut you!

- [ horns honk ] - No, ain't no runnin' from Madea.

- Ain't no runnin' from Madea. - Hey!

Sorry, excuse me. Y'all get out the way!

You see me-- move, please.

- I got you. You'll be sorry! - [ horn honks ]

[ sirens blaring ]

[ whirring ]

Yo, man, I'm gonna return this.

Ooh, I'm gettin' too old.

Mm, boom. There it is, baby.

I'm still ridin'. I still ride the wave.

[ sirens blaring ]

The po-po comin' for you now, girl!

Let's do this, po-po!

[ honks ]

[ horn blares ]

[ yells ]

[ brakes squeal ]

Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome your next mayor,

Betsy Holiday!

- [ crowd cheering ] - Thank you, thank you!

- [ gasps ] - Ooh, sorry.

I'm trying to teach the young one a lesson.

Move, baby. I'm sorry.

Yes.

[ laughs ]

Where you think you goin'?

Let us outta here!

Not until you apologize to this sweet lady.

Now, do it! Y'all better be careful. I just had my fiber.

[ laughs ]

- Sorry, ma'am. - We're sorry.

Y'all need to take care of this community and everybody in it.

- Like youdid? - [ sirens wailing ]

Finally y'all find the gas pedal, huh?

Mabel Simmons, you're under arrest.

What the-- what the what?

That's the criminal right there. What did I do?

Well, for starters, excessive damage to public property.

- Two bench warrants. - What did I ever do to a bench?

- 25 unpaid parking tickets. - An unpaid speeding ticket.

Beautiful day, isn't it? Very mild.

Nice, cool breeze blowin' through my hair. [ chuckles ]

[ muttering ] That ain't work? Oh, that ain't gonna work.

And as if all those charges aren't bad enough,

you harassed two poor, innocent children.

How does the defendant plead?

Now, Your Honor, these children needed to learn some respect,

and with me as their teacher, guess what?

They learned quick. Yes, they did. Yes, they did.

- Guilty! - Your Honor...

- Knockin' down a poor, innocent lady. - Guilty!

Now, look, I better not run into them in a dark alley,

I'm gonna tell you that right now, I'm gonna tell you that right now.

Guilty, guilty, guilty!

[ bell pinging ]

- [ squeaks ] - Your Honor!

- Guilty! - [ trills ]

Bring in the box.

Ooh, this is fancy.

- [ beeps ] - I hope this ain't lunch.

This time, Ms. Simmons, we have a very appropriate sentence for you.

What's this?

You gonna put me on house arrest again?

Oh, no, Your Honor. Come on, now. Go easy on me.

That's more like my punishment.

You need to learn to be an example to the neighborhood.

What? You cannot be serious.

That's how come I chased down these children,

to teach them to take care of their neighborhood.

Oh, Judge, you crazy.

Ms. Simmons, you wrecked a whole city block!

Does that sound like taking care of your neighborhood?

Well, if the city had been a better block,

then the block wouldn't have got ruined

and I wouldn't be up in here with your blockhead, Judge.

It's time you learned to do things the right way.

I do things the right way.

I do 'em the left way, too, though.

- [ both laugh ] - You bad, Madea.

That's why you're here, Ms. Simmons.

I'm gonna teach you how to do good in a good way.

Why, is Santa watching?

Do you want to do some good for this community?

- Yes, sir. - [ beeps ]

Wonderful.

Then you can start tomorrow by guiding the young souls

at the Moms Mabley Youth Center.

Oh, shoot, you want me to whip some punks into shape?

I can do that. I can do that all day long.

I can do that right now. Where they at?

[ laughs ] Where they at?

Please bring them to me. Please.

No, Ms. Simmons, I want you to make a difference

without making a mess.

Make a difference without making a mess?

Court dismissed.

[ chiming ]

Well, listen, this does not bode well with me.

That stupid judge. If he thinks

I'm actually going through with this, he must be crazy.

Everybody up in here crazy except me.

Now, Madea, you have to do as the law says.

- Say who? - The law.

The law? Girl, I amthe law.

Get over there. Now, right now.

- Do it. - I do what I want.

Mind your business. I gotta go shoppin'.

[ beeping ]

Oh, this ain't good!

[ horns honking ]

Oh, I'm possessed!

[ shackle beeps ]

My hips ain't meant to do that!

Ah! Ooh! Ack! Oof.

- Oo-wee. - [ sirens blare ]

[ laughs ] Did I forget to mention my little escape clause?

You sneaky little frog-lookin'-toad.

If you attempt to avoid going to the Moms Mabley Youth Center,

this controller will take you right back to where you're supposed to be.

I will make sure your foot goes exactly where it's supposed to.

Oh, I'll tell you exactly where it's supposed to be.

We're fixin' to end this nonsense right here, all right?

Here you go. I will-- I will get this--

I will-- I can't. I'ma get--

- that's hurting my leg. - It's no use, Madea.

This ankle bracelet is completely indestructible, even for you.

You are power mad! You're power hungry!

I have my rights, and I ain't gonna let you get away with this, you--

you-- you judge of a judge with a big ol' head judge!

You are gonna set an example for these disadvantaged kids.

And this bracelet and these two officers

are going to make sure you do it lawfully

and until I see fit!

- [ pings ] - Yes, I have one at home, too.

Thanks for nothing, "R2 Detour."

[ beeping ]

Wow, would you look at that?

Taking me back to the old days.

I was so sweet and innocent.

Excuse me, young man. What exactly do you think you're doing?

Getting lunch, stupid.

You forgot your lunch.

[ laughs ]

That was something.

I gave my first back eye right over there.

Such fond memories. Where does the time go?

Now time to set these kids straight Madea style.

And be outta here by lunch.

[ kids shouting ]

[ roars, screeches ]

[ grunts ]

Swish!

[ squealing ]

[ grunting ]

What in the world of flies is this?

That old lady! Attack!

I have died and gone straight to hell.

Look out now!

That's all you fools got? Come on.

[ growls ]

You cray? You cray-cray?

I'm cray-cray, too. Come on, bring it.

Bring it, children. Bring it.

Ha.

Gotcha!

- [ whirring ] - Watch out!

Ooh, looky there. Pow, bam.

In your face, in your face.

Tryin' to get over on the old people? I got your "old" right here.

Whoa!

Oh, so y'all must be the little punks

they want me to keep an eye on.

Let them out.

All: Yeah.

Y'all ain't movin' one "ee-tee-ota"

until you learn some respect.

Look, just take your canklejewelry and get out of here.

We need to keep practicin'.

For the Youth Center Games?

Yeah, we'd like to get back to our losing ways, if you don't mind.

I don't want to lose again.

We ain't gonna lose! We're gonna win that prize money.

Yeah, don't worry, y'all. We're gonna save this place.

- This place gettin' shut down? - It's not up to code.

Code? What you mean, code?

[ bangs ]

- [ thumps ] - [ squeaks ]

What's it to you? Once you get that bracelet off, you gonna split.

Yeah, just like everyone else who comes through those doors.

All: Yeah.

Well, from the looks of it, those doors aren't gonna be here much longer,

but while I'm here, y'all are gonna learn

some proper values and proper respect

and proper everything that little children should know by now.

We ain't listenin' to a word you say.

I have had enough of you, little girl.

I'm sure you have.

[ yells ] What the-- what is--

oh, okay. Okay.

[ beeping ]

- Hwah. - [ siren blurts ]

Oh, officers, I'm scared!

Help! This woman is out of control.

- She caged up my friends! - What in the--

Ms. Simmons, did Judge Michaels not make himself clear?

You are gonna play nice with these children

and you are going to start following the law.

No, no, you right, you right.

I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry.

I'm so sorry, children, and, Officer, I'm so sorry.

Listen, um, y'all know where that judge lives?

I just want to run over and thank him for setting me on the right path

and to finding the light. You know? Yes, yes.

I'm gonna give him a nice hug.

A real tight hug.

- [ beeps ] - Ooh, saved by the bell.

I'll see you bright and early.

Little girl, you better be ready for me.

Ladies and gentlemen, you are all here tonight

because you want to put someone in the mayor's office

who cares about the people of this city,

and that person is Betsy Holiday.

[ audience cheering ]

[ laughs ]

Thank you, Atlanta.

I am truly blessed to have the support

of such an amazing group of people!

[ shutters click ]

As mayor of Atlanta, I promise I will answer

the prayers of the people of this fair city

and provide them with everything they need.

What do you need, sir?

Well, I am kinda hungry.

[ cheering ]

What do you want from your new mayor?

I want better education for my children!

And you, sir? What do you want?

I want more money in my pocket!

Thank you for your support,

and thank you for your vote!

Oh, puh-leese.

People are so stupid.

If they actually stopped to think for a minute, they'd revolt.

Well, let's hope they don't

because Mayor Thomas is picking up steam in the polls.

And what are we doing about it?

Well, we've got some new billboards going up

oh, and we've ordered an attachment so the launcher can launch puppies and kittens.

[ groans ] You are such a small thinker.

It's time. We have to give the people what they want now!

Or what they think they want.

I've done it before, my friend.

Now is the time to do it again.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

I thought you were gonna wait until you got into office.

You know, when no one could challenge you?

Well, it looks like I'll have to change my plan.

My partner is getting a little antsy anyway.

Your p-partner?

Too many questions, but don't worry.

This will put me over the edge.

My partner will see to it that it does.

Gentlemen, we are going to fix the broken heart of this town--

Freedom Park.

[ crackling ]

I forgot my purse.

Had to come back to this godforsaken place.

That old judge.

I oughta sentence him to three-to-five years

of my foot along side of his head.

[ beeping ]

Ooh, shut up. Shut up.

D, leave that be.

Where does that lady get all that stuff from?

What in the-- y'all havin' a little campout, I see?

That doesn't concern you.

Why don't y'all go home, then?

- We don't have a home. - D, shut up.

Well, you can't sleep here.

I'm not gonna let you throw us on the streets.

Calm down, little girl.

Y'all ain't gettin' me riled up again.

You're gonna come sleep at my house

till we find a proper home for you.

Now, come on, let's go.

Me and D take care of ourselves.

Well, I could use a snack.

Oh, I guess you didn't find nothing in my purse.

Now come on, y'all. Leave them blankets. They filthy.

Shut your eyes, D.

Uh, children?

Oh, okay, fine.

Whoa.

- Let's go! - Netta: Let me outta here!

Dang Dang: Hey, let me go!

[ engine starts ]

[ bird chirping ]

Madea: Wake up you little sleepyheaded children!

I got some breakfast down here for ya.

Joe, if you don't get outta my face...

[ sizzling ]

Oh, Mabel, you're cooking. Is breakfast ready yet?

Joe, I'm working on it. I'm working on the breakfast right now.

Sit there and hush. Just hush.

Mabel, I don't even know if I wanna eat your cooking.

Keep it up. You might end up choking on this bacon.

'Cause every time I eat it, I start to itch.

[ laughing ]

[ cracking ]

[ grumbles ]

[ groans ] Okay, I need my oxygen.

- [ panting ] - [ door opens ]

All right, Madea. Now, I went down to that Child Welfare office

to talk about finding those kids a proper home

just like you asked me to.

- Mm-hmm. - But then... something happened.

[ muffled bark ]

[ whines ]

Bam: And I just said to myself,

"Self, what would the Man Upstairs do in this situation?"

And I just couldn't leave that poor, helpless dog.

Bam, stop sitting there lyin'.

Tell the truth. You forgot to go down

- to Child Welfare, didn't ya? - Bam: I mighta.

Now you go down to Child Welfare early in the morning

and get some help for these kids, you understand?

We goin' somewhere?

Yes, you're gonna sit down and have some bacon and eggs.

This is called breakfast. You didn't know that?

We don't want your charity.

- [ stutters ] - [ chair scrapes ]

Now, Madea, stay cool.

Little girl, look here. I know you're tough and I respect that.

But y'all kids need some nourishment.

Now sit down at this table...

and shove some of this food in your mouth

before I shove it in your mouth for ya--

I'm sorry. Yes, sit down and eat something

and then I'll take y'all to the youth center.

Unless you get a hold of Social Services.

Come on, D.

Oh, can I get some bacon, and, like, toast to go?

Come on, D.

[ slams ]

Whoo-hoo, she a feisty one. She a feisty one.

I'm about to be feisty on your face, you raggedy old tick.

[ crunching ]

[ coughs ] It's filthy in here.

You know, it ain't like you to get the authorities involved.

Look here, Bam. Them children need a home.

Now get down to that welfare office.

Get down there. Break into it if you have to,

and don't get caught up in no "bureau-facy" or nothin'.

Get them children somewhere to stay.

Now that's more like you.

Well, your suspension's shot.

You've been taking bumps too fast.

But I haven't, I swear.

[ roars, screeches ]

That's tight.

[ music playing ]

I can't believe y'all slept at the old lady's house last night.

Yeah, how freaky was that?

Did she try to eat you? I bet she tried to eat you.

It was a'ight.

So, somebody let you into her home and you thank her by walking out on her?

Man, I told you we don't need you here.

Oh, that's right. You don't need help from nobody.

How's that workin' out for you?

That's what I thought.

Honey, you go around mad at the world all your life,

the world ain't gonna care about you.

The world already doesn't care about me, about nobody.

You right for the most part, honey.

Most times, the world don't care,

but there are lots of people that do,

and you have to recognize when somebody really cares.

Do you understand, little girl?

Boy, what you-- gimme this ball.

Now, if you gonna dribble, bam, do it right.

You see that? Br-rr-rr!

Bam. [ laughs ]

- Do it right. - [ thumping ]

And that's why we need to restore Freedom Park

and the Moms Mabley Youth Center.

What in the hello is this?

[ shutters click ]

Betsy Holiday for mayor.

- And I'm Madea... - [ shutters click ]

...for get out of my gym.

[ pops, squeals ]

[ kids giggling ]

[ laughs ] Now, Madea,

I assure you, I will not get the heck out of your gym

until I have saved the Moms Mabley Youth Center.

Save? What you mean save?

I'm going to make sure that you children

and all the other children in this neighborhood

have a new, safe place to play

for many, many, many years to come.

[ cheering ]

All: Can we have those smoothie robot vending machines?

And wheelchair ramps?

And smoothie robot vending-- oh, wait.

So, we don't need the prize money anymore?

No, my dear. Betsy is going to take care of everything.

Now look here, hairdo, or hair don't, whatever that is on--

what is that on your head? Is something living-- excuse me.

From what I've seen, when somebody walks in your door

saying they're gonna fix all your problems, they're usually up to "somethint."

Isn't that right?

This place needs a helping hand.

That's where I come in.

Girl, get outta here. Don't act like you know what this place needs.

You ain't from around here. You didn't grow up here.

You didn't give nobody a black eye in that "cornter," I did.

You don't know what you're talking about.

Well, I'll tell you what I'm not.

- A criminal. - [ beeps ]

This community's been burned by Mayor Thomas,

but I assure you under Mayor Holiday...

[ shutter clicks ]

...things will be different.

Just take a look at what I've done to Chastain Park.

Now, now, if you can follow me outside,

we can start the cleanup process.

[ cheering ]

As mayor, I'll do what's necessary

to clean up these streets.

And we'll do it by recycling!

[ grinding ]

[ cheering ]

Children, we goin' for a ride.

Madea: Children, I want you all to see something.

Welcome to the beautiful Chastain Park.

Welcome to Chastain Park.

[ quietly ] Perp alert, perp alert.

- This place is tight. - For reals.

- Dang. - We could sleep here and no one would notice.

Whoo-hoo, look at all these wheelchair ramps!

This must be what Heaven is like if God was in a wheelchair.

But I guess He wouldn't be. He's God.

I mean, if He got in an accident, He could just fix Himself.

[ snaps ] Focus, young man.

Y'all see a park "anty-where"?

What about that little patch of grass?

Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!

Man, there used to be some sick courts over here.

Hey, look here. This looks less like Chastain Park

and more like Chastain Parking Lot.

[ groans ]

Y'all gonna call me out on my joke like that?

Okay, fine. But that was funny.

[ laughs ] I tickle myself.

[ water splashing ]

[ jingling ]

Help!

Come on, Dang Dang, come on.

Ooh, that Betsy Holiday,

she wants to do this to Freedom Park.

I don't know who she thinks she's helping.

Whatever happened to community?

It's right there.

Not that kind of community. Real community.

It's right there.

Boy, I ain't talkin' about no store.

I'm talking about community.

If that Holiday "restores" Freedom Park,

we can say goodbye to our youth center and to our community.

There won't be nothin' but fancy stores.

I think I'm gonna pay Miss Betsy a little visit.

Ooh, ominous.

Heh, y'all ladies need some help stretchin'?

- [ chuckles ] - Hey!

[ beeping ]

Ooh, this gonna have to be quick.

And the last piece of the puzzle

is the Moms Mabley Youth Center.

[ distant sirens blaring, horns honking ]

Our polling shows that this community

- is favoring your new initiative. - Perfect.

So if you secure the park, you'll secure the mayor's office.

[ crashes ]

Heller.

Madea, please come in before you freeze.

Zip it, lippit. Betsy, I took a little trip down to Chastain Park today.

Or should I say Chastain Park-ing Lot?

- [ snickers ] - I knew y'all were gonna laugh.

I like him. [ laughs ]

I know you mean to tear down Freedom Park.

[ groans ]

Will you excuse us for a moment?

All right, Madea.

I've had about all I can take from you.

[ snaps ]

Girl, you ugly when you mad.

[ sirens blaring ]

- [ beeps ] - [ chuckles ]

Oh, you can't stop this, Madea.

It's what the people want. It's what the voters want.

In two weeks, that park will be mine.

Oh, really? Okay, Betsy.

Well, I think this $25,000 prize

will be enough to pay for those building improvements you were talking about.

- What you think? - Those kids don't stand a chance.

I've created my own team, just to make sure.

You what? Girl, what crazy you talkin' about?

The Chastain Park Players.

Super athletes, you know.

Please, we could take on those robots any day.

If you don't stay out of my way,

I'm gonna bury you.

Oh, look here. Betsy got some street in her, I see.

Mm-hmm.

Oh, no, I do not.

- [ banging on door ] - Oh, looks like your ride is here.

You're gonna have to come with us.

No, you don't understand. That woman is gonna tear down the center.

That woman? You mean the future mayor of this city?

- Let's go. - Come on, Madea,

just follow the rules and we won't have to do this kind of stuff.

You know what? I take back all the compliments I gave to y'all.

You're-- both of you, you look like--

you look like a fart.

[ rattling, whirring ]

Can I get one last tune-up?

[ clicking ]

- There ya go. - Thanks, man.

[ grunts ]

[ creaking ]

That lady's gonna tear this place down.

Yeah, and build stores that only sell batteries.

[ scoffs ] That's a wack business model, yo.

Wait-- what is going on here?

What the heck is going on here?

Why aren't y'all practicin' for the Youth Center Games?

We need to win that prize money.

- What are you talking about? - Listen to me.

That disgusting Holiday woman can't legally buy Freedom Park

unless this place gets shut down.

You mean whenit gets shut down.

No, no, no, no. It's not when it gets shut down.

It's not gonna get shut down.

Y'all are gonna win that prize money

and get this building up to code.

Do you understand? You can do it.

Ankle bracelet lady might be on to something, y'all.

We're just gonna lose.

Son, if you don't try, you've already lost.

Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

Listen, if you try your hardest and do your absolute best,

I guarantee you will save this place,

but you're gonna have to work hard.

My juice box has a guarantee.

Oh, no, this is a better guarantee, honey.

This is a Madea guarantee. You can take that to the bank.

That means something. You better ask some people.

Now who's with me? Come on, who with me?

See? I can follow them rules... good-lookin'.

Oh, yeah, she's talkin' about me.

No, no, no, no. She's talking about me.

Okay, you know what? You're delusional, man.

I'm delusional? No, you'redelusional, my friend.

Now, the key to winning is-- bam.

[ all snickering ]

[ chuckles ]

- Mabel, that spells "pee." - Thank you, Joe.

- [ laughs ] Like urination. - We got it, Joe.

I'm sorry about my brother.

He's just what I call an "eye-diot."

- Unh! - [ all laugh ]

All right, now, as you know, the game has four competitions--

the 100-meter race, three-on-three basketball,

weightlifting, and then the team competition, capture the flag, okay?

- [ grunts ] - What the--

- Let me-- - Oh-- uh...

[ siren chirps ]

Bam.

We're just training, Officer.

Now, go on. I don't want you to see a lady lookin' like this.

- She thinks I'm hot. - You'rehot? You're-- no, I'm hot!

[ grunts ]

Whoo.

[ sniffs ] Oh!

Oh, yes!

I don't know if this is legal, Madea.

Look here, it ain't legal for them to smell this bad, either.

Watch out.

Sorry.

- Ooh. - Act like we statues.

You mess with us, we mess with you.

Y'all can't touch the Mabley crew. Come on.

All: You mess with us, we mess with you.

Y'all can't touch the Mabley crew.

You mess with us, we mess with you.

Y'all can't touch the Mabley crew.

Aw, how cute. [ chuckles ]

They're actually going to try and save this dump.

You are going to put a stop to this, and fast.

Oh, not to worry, sir.

- I-- I'll think of something. - You better!

If I don't get my mall, you don't get to be mayor.

And I'll kick you back out onto the streets where I found you.

Do you remember that, Betsy-wetsy?

[ whimpering ] No, please, don't, sir.

- Please. - [ laughing ]

Man: Remember, Betsy-wetsy.

I built you.

[ sobbing ]

And I can break you.

Have I made myself clear?

Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. [ sobbing ]

Good, Chris. You're actually starting to make some.

And, Lacey, you're scary. That's good.

[ growls ]

Madea, Madea, Madea!

I finally got in touch with Social Services.

They're gonna come by your house tonight and meet the children.

Oh, oh, I didn't realize you were going down there already.

I-- I-- I mean...

I whooped their butts,

avoided the bureaucracy, just like you told me to.

Come on, D.

But I thought we were going back to Madea's house?

What, so we can let us hand her over to the state?

Naw, I'm not letting her split us up.

Let's go.

[ ticking ]

Oh, they'll be here soon.

They probably got stuck at the library.

[ chuckles nervously ]

[ groans ]

[ distant siren wails ]

Dee, look at these shoes.

[ sighs ]

We need a sugar mama.

I promise you I'm gonna find you someplace safe to sleep soon.

I'm gonna find you a real home.

- [ sirens blaring ] - [ helicopter blades whirring ]

[ gasps ]

D!

[ gasps ]

[ gasps ]

[ growling ]

- [ groaning ] - [ growling ]

Dang Dang!

[ both groaning ]

Grab my hand!

[ gasps ] No!

[ pants ]

[ line rings ]

On your mark...

get set...

- Joe! - Eh!

[ horn blares ]

Where did y'all sleep last night?

Why do you care?

We received an anonymous tip that they were sleeping at the park.

Little girl, I was worried sick.

We looked everywhere for y'all.

Apparently not.

Okay, that is it. I have held back for as long as I could.

What you need is a good old spankin' from back in the day.

Come here. Come here, girl.

Oh, girl, girl. You gonna get it now.

- Put me down! - Let go of my sister!

- Hey! Hey! - Ow! Ow!

- [ laughing ] - Yeah, give it to her good!

Ms. Simmons, what are you doing?

[ horn honks ]

Children, cover your eyes.

No, I wanna see this.

Now I know you ain't show up on my turf again.

You ain't gonna hurt these kids.

[ laughs ] Oh, Madea, so colorful.

But I'm here on a mission of love.

[ shutters click ]

You know, when I was here the other day,

I was particularly inspired by two of your children.

There's nothing that breaks my heart more

than seeing children without a home.

That's why I'm going to adopt little Delinquinetta here,

and her brother Dang Dang.

- What? - [ cheering ]

And from what I saw earlier, it looks like I arrived just in time.

- Child abuse, Madea? - Mm-hmm.

"Mrs. Anonymous Tip," huh?

You are just terrible, using these children just to get your face on the T-Vision.

You know, Ms. Simmons,

someone's gotta keep these kids from being split apart.

So what does this mean?

It means, dear, that you and your little brother Dang Dang

will finally have a suitable home.

It is time to settle this the Madea way.

Well, isn't that what got you in trouble in the first place?

I think you've just shown us all

that these children are much better off with a law-abiding caretaker.

Come here, dear.

I got your some "Welcome to the family" presents.

For you.

- [ music playing ] - Whoa, dang!

Sugar mama.

And for you.

[ gasps ] These are for me?

Oh, go on, try them on.

That was the shoes conforming precisely

to the shape of your foot.

All: Dang!

Come on, girl, take them ugly, gaudy shoes off.

We got to go practice. Come on.

Netta, I know the thing you want more than anything in the world

is that your brother have a safe place to live.

[ music playing ]

Please, let me give you that place.

Honey, don't you fall for that.

What this woman is offering you, that is not a home.

- Trust me. - And, what, you are?

You're just trying to get rid of us.

All right, we'll come live with you.

Really?

Oh, wonderful!

Welcome to the family.

- [ cheering ] - [ shutters clicking ]

What about the rest of us?

What about the games?

I am so sorry to say Netta and Dang Dang

won't be able to compete with you in the games.

I'm so sorry, children.

Well, what about the center?

We need you guys.

Don't worry, children.

Mayor Betsy will take care of you.

I'm sorry, y'all, but we gotta look out for our own, you know.

I thought we wereyour own.

Do something, Madea!

- Yeah, come on. - You just can't let this happen.

We need you!

Well, ain't nothin' I say

gonna change that little girl's mind.

I got nothing in my purse to fix this.

Come along, children, let's go home.

How could you let this happen?

Now there's no way we'll win the games and save the center.

Yeah, don't you care about what happens to them, to the center?

Course I do, but cryin' never fixed nothin'.

We just gotta get out there and do what we do.

- Now, come on. - Judge Michaels called.

We have to take you in.

Says he saw a video of you and Netta.

You're a YouTube star now.

Wonderful.

Don't worry, children, I'll be back to help you all out.

I'll be back. I'm gonna go fix this and I'll be right back.

Don't. You usually just make things worse.

Guess we're on our own for the games tomorrow.

Whoa.

Baller! Yeah, I could get used to this.

Oh, you will, and please don't use that word in my house.

Hey, look, there's the youth center.

Ooh, it looks terrible even from here, doesn't it?

I don't know, it looks a'ight.

Well, you shouldn't look back.

I never did.

You just need to embrace the finer things in life.

Now, don't bother me.

Agh!

[ foghorn blows ]

[ singing ]

[ singing continues ]

It's clear that you have not learned your lesson, Ms. Simmons.

You don't understand, Judge, I was trying to help.

I was trying to help her!

By spanking her? Save it.

We've heard this before.

I don't want you anywhere near those kids or the youth center.

You'll fulfill the rest of your sentence under house arrest.

No!

[ beeps ]

I can't do no house arrest.

I have to be at the game. Those kids need me.

- [ beeps ] - Court dismissed.

- [ chimes ] - Yay, I did it, I did it.

You know, I actually believe her this time.

Me, too, and I'm the handsome one.

- [ car door closes ] - [ engine starts ]

Once upon a time there was a wooden puppet who didn't do what he was told.

He was a bad, bad puppet

so he never became real.

The end. Go to sleep!

[ spectators cheering ]

Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen,

welcome to the 17th annual Youth Center Games!

[ cheering ]

No sign of Madea anywhere.

Man, she ain't comin'.

- Hey! - What in the--

[ music playing ] ♪ I'm the greatest, yeah, I'm the greatest ♪

♪ Ain't got no doubt, let me say what's on your mind ♪

♪ I'm the greatest, I'm the greatest... ♪

[ cheering ]

Hola! Hola!

This year, we have six hopeful teams competing

for the $25,000 prize!

And now, without further ado,

let the games begin!

[ cheering ]

Ooh, that judge. Ooh, he made me so mad.

He don't know what he doin', Joe.

Oh, he done gone rogue. He got to be stopped.

Think he could lock me up in here with you.

[ beeps ]

I made a promise to those children.

[ beeping ]

"P.E.E."!

You need one of them adult diapers?

[ grunts ] "P... E..."

[ beeping ]

Ah! No, no!

No, you don't!

[ music playing ]

- [ tires squealing ] - [ beeping ]

- Ooh. - [ beeps ]

"P... E.E."!

[ beeping ]

You can do it, Madea!

[ beeping continues ]

[ blasts ]

Whoo, yes!

Call Bam, Joe! We gonna need a car!

I'm free, free at last! Free at last.

Ooh, hoo-hoo.

Well, this is cozy.

Announcer: As the brackets compete,

we'll see which two teams

end up in the final team competition,

capture the flag!

[ horn blares ]

[ cheering ]

Ooh, look at her run!

- [ whistle tweets ] - [ all cheer ]

[ horn blares ]

And it will be the Chastain Park

versus the underdogs at the Moms Mabley Youth Center.

Wow, who could've expected this?

- [ shutters clicking ] - [ cheering ]

[ sirens blaring ]

I can't believe she beat the bracelet.

[ horns honking ]

Wow, she's good.

[ screeching, crashing ]

I'm sorry, Officer!

But I got some children to help. I'll see y'all in a bit.

[ helicopter blades whirring ]

[ snaps ]

Hey, where'd she go?

Ooh, this a nice tree. What is that, spruce?

[ sniffs ] I believe that's pine.

Ooh, smells good. Smells like springtime in Paris...

Mississippi.

Bam: I'm gonna lose my dentures!

[ bell ringing ]

Oh, no, Madea!

You gonna kill us, woman.

- [ screeching ] - [ screaming ]

Would you two be quiet?

[ squealing ]

[ sirens blaring ]

Bam: Oh, my.

Joe: What did you do to this car, Mabel?

[ helicopter blades whirring ]

Ooh, they just can't get enough of me, can they?

[ sirens blaring ]

Ooh, you can't stop Madea. Madea always fight back.

Ah!

I'm gonna show those little ones

how to deal with their problems,

and I'll get it done like I always do 'cause I'm Madea, baby.

Come on, Madea.

Well, heller, good-lookin'.

She was talking to me.

Actually, I was talkin' to both of y'all,

I'm gonna show that Holiday woman what the what's what.

She tryin' to fix the game so my kids can't save the youth center.

I told y'all, good-lookin',

I gotta help these kids, good-lookin'.

Are y'all gonna help me or what, good-lookin'?

What'd you have in mind?

[ whirring ]

Bam: I told you we should spend more time in church!

Joe: Do I have time to make my confession?

Let's go save the youth center, good-lookin'!

- [ sirens blaring ] - I ain't never been on this side.

Feels good to be on the right side.

Wow! Let's do this, po-po!

In a few minutes, the final competition begins,

and from the looks of it, the Mabley kids

don't stand a chance of winning that $25,000 prize.

[ sirens approaching ]

[ tires screech ]

[ gasps ] It's Madea.

She came back.

Nah, she's just being chased by the police again.

Maybe not.

Y'all ready to go out there and save our home?

- She came back. - And she brought some friends.

[ growls ]

My friends drove all this way for a good show,

and you're gonna give it to 'em, ain't that right, kids?

You mess with us, we mess with you,

y'all can't touch the Mabley crew.

All: You mess with us, we mess with you,

y'all can't touch the Mabley crew.

Hoo-hoo-hoo- hoo-hoo-hoo.

You crazy woman.

- Netta, what are you--? - Shh.

Whoa!

I think we about to get a little help.

Excuse me, Netta, dear, where are you going?

Where we belong.

This is yours.

By the way, you're gonna owe a lot in texts.

Announcer: What is this?

It appears as if two of the Chastain teammates

are switching over to the Mabley team.

Twist!

Welcome back.

You can't do this to me!

Enjoy this beatdown, Betsy!

Enjoy this beatdown!

[ whistle tweets ]

Now go win this thing.

Take your places, take your places.

Announcer: All right, folks, you know the rules.

One member of the team must grab the other team's flag

without being touched and take it back to their side.

First one to do this wins.

[ necks crackling ]

Gross.

[ whistle tweets ]

- [ knuckles crackle ] - No mercy!

[ whistle tweets ]

[ barking ]

[ whistle tweets ]

- [ whistle tweets ] - Hey!

- [ crowd cheering ] - Great teamwork.

That's my Mabley kids.

Whoa!

[ groans ]

[ panting ]

[ panting ]

Get her!

I can't do this. There's no way.

If you don't try, you already lost.

No!

Announcer: 10 seconds on the clock.

- Nine, eight, seven... - Yeah, go, that's it, right there!

Announcer: Six, five, four,

three, two, one!

[ horn blares ]

And the winners of the 17th Annual Youth Center Games

are the Chastain Park team!

Yes! Go! Give 'em no mercy!

Go, go, go!

[ shutter clicks ]

All right, Madea,

say goodbye to your Freedom Park and--

[ laughs ] your freedom.

Something ain't right.

What's that?

[ beeps ]

Now, wait a minute How did that get on there?

Well, look at this. What do we have here?

[ beeps ]

[ spectators gasp ]

Well, it's obvious what's going on here.

I'm Betsy Holiday, beloved and--

[ stutters ] Who wants a burger?

[ spectators booing ]

Perp alert, perp alert.

Uh-oh.

[ siren chirps ]

Don't worry, Madea. We'll get the kids' money.

No, no, no, I think my expertise is needed.

[ music playing ]

Those ratty kids, thinking they can stop me.

Me!

- [ sirens wailing ] - What the--

Me and my good-lookin' boys are coming for you, Betsy!

No!

[ tuning ]

I knew you were from the hood! [ laughs ]

Well, so am I.

[ brakes squeal ]

[ screams ]

[ tires screech ]

Girl, you better watch them turns.

[ screams ]

[ sirens wailing ]

Look like your ride's here.

No--!

I knew that added torque would come in handy.

Betsy Holiday, you're under arrest.

Thattaboy, good-lookin'. [ giggles ]

This is what happens when you try to run from who you are.

You know what? I think she needs

some good old-fashioned "commun-tity" service.

I-- I-- I can't go back.

Don't make me go back to that disgusting park.

I can't look back. [ sobbing ]

It's okay, sweetheart. Let it out.

Joe is here for ya.

Let me ask you something, baby.

How you feel about a man with an oxygen tank?

Madea!

The Moms Mabley Youth Center is saved!

[ all cheering ]

- [ sobbing ] - [ sirens blaring ]

Thank you, Madea.

♪ We're gonna raise the roof ♪

♪ Yes, we are

♪ We're gonna raise the roof tonight ♪

♪ Raise the roof

♪ Yes, we are

♪ We're gonna raise the roof tonight ♪

♪ We're gonna sing and shout and praise His name ♪

♪ Let's call and rejoice and let His truth proclaim ♪

♪ We feel His power deep down in our hearts ♪

♪ His love and mercy never will depart ♪

♪ We're gonna raise the roof, yes, we are ♪

♪ We're gonna raise the roof tonight ♪

♪ We're gonna raise the roof tonight ♪

♪ Raise the roof, yes, we are ♪

♪ We're gonna raise the roof tonight ♪

♪ We're gonna raise the roof tonight. ♪

[ cheering ]

- I gotta tell you, Mabel. I'm proud of you. - What's that?

Gettin' the police on your side this time.

Maybe you can teach an old dog new tricks.

Did you say "old dog"? Girl, I'm younger than you.

By five days.

Both of y'all old as Methuselah. Please shut up.

So, Mabel, I heard from Social Services.

Mm-hmm.

And Netta and Dang Dang are on the list for a foster home.

A real foster home.

And they ain't gonna get split up.

Aw, now, that's wonderful, Bam,

but you know what? Them children are saying with me

until Social Services can prove to me

that they gonna find a good place for both of them to be in together.

Oh, hi, there, good-lookin'.

Uh-oh, what'd you do now, woman?

Oh, they ain't here for me.

They got a new assignment. [ laughs ]

How you doin', Miss Holiday?

You ain't on no holiday right now.

Good morning, Madea, everyone.

- How ya doin'? - Hey, hey.

Well, don't you seem surprisingly cheery

for a woman who lost everything?

Well, I got my life back.

When I was working for The Man, I got so caught up in--

Well, that's wonderful, Betsy.

Wonderful. That's really, really, really wonderful.

Oops, excuse me. [ chuckles ]

Oops, excuse me. [ laughs ]

Excuse-- ooh, excuse--

This isn't over, Madea.

[ horns honking ]

[ The Man groans ]

The Man: We need to have hydraulics put in.

[ honks ] Heller!

Ooh. I must've fell asleep.

[ music playing on TV ]

Hmm.

What happened to that button?

What they put in this stuff?

I guess. Turn that off.

[ distant sirens wailing ]

Oh, there are some good-lookin' cops out there--

good-lookin' cops?

Hmm.

[ instrumental music playing ]