Original subtitles

How do I look ?

It's too early to say. We'll look at the blow ups later.

Touch ups are always necessary, but nothing major.

- What's your name ? - Davide, and yours ?

- Vivian. - Oh, sure. How stupid of me !

It's not very polite to forget your model's name.

Sorry. I remember faces but I easily forget names.

Why don't you give me a name that's less banal ?

Maybe I'm banal.

Putting up a front to make me curious ?

Here we are.

I think this is one of the best.

Why do you always take photographs like these ?

No particular reason, I just love beauty.

You don't mean

that all the women who pose for you have a behind like mine ?

Rarely, but some do.

Even an old posterior can have charm and personality.

This is a 16-year old, not yet ripe.

She didn't want to, but then she agreed.

- And who's that ? - The 16-years old's mother.

- And that one ? - That's me.

A self-portrait.

I wanted to see if I was photogenic.

You're photogenic and cute.

It's not enough to make me happy.

- Want me to praise you ? - Yes, please.

I don't have much self esteem.

Your behind is very sexy, but don't you have other ambitions ?

Displaying the backside is a sign of defiance.

The butt of the protest !

You want to daze me with complications ?

Kiss me.

What about your childhood ?

When I was little I envied women's genitals.

Then everything changed, of course.

In fact, l'll compete with other men as long as I can.

And you, are you happy ?

No, I'm not.

At first, yes. It was all lovely.

We got married because we were in love.

We made love all the time, we never got tired.

It was wonderful !

He said he only had to look at me to get aroused.

Damn you !

Here.

Damn you ! We're under fire, let's go.

"She gloved his puppet so it wouldn't get cold..."

"..and he opened the pages of that posterior missal

and marked them with his mentula."

- What's a mentula ? - The male member in Latin.

- And the female one ? - Cunnus, a masculine noun.

So, why do modern day Romans say "cazzo" ?

That comes from akatios, the ship's mast.

How bestial !

That's what Aretino would say. Right, Davide ?

Come on, let's go !

There's a free place down there, if you want.

- Come on, let's go. - You can't do that here.

There are kids playing, the football pitch...

Leave them alone. Can't you see they're decent folk ?

Can't you shove off ?

- Let's go, this place is a nuthouse. - What did I tell you ?

- Is he any good ? - He used to be wonderful in bed.

- He had a... mentula ? - Yes, mentula.

He had a mentula this long.

I called him "Monsieur dix fois"

because he'd make love to me ten times every night.

- Really ? - Yes, ten times.

It gave me fantastic skin.

Then nine, eight, seven...

six, five, four...

- Three, two, one... - Zero. Everything cancelled !

- And then ? - I took on an accountant.

- What are they like ? - They can only manage five times.

lt's him.

The ex "dix fois" or the accountant ?

It's my husband.

Who's calling ?

Ah, it's you !

Yes, everything's fine.

A big audience ? Big applause ?

What have I done ?

I had lunch with Davide.

He took some wonderful photos of me.

No, I only pose nude for you.

He was very professional.

He's very nice and speaks highly of you.

He say's you're a great actor.

Bye for now.

- He wants me to say I love him. - Say it.

But husbands and wives don't say these things.

All right, I love you. Bye.

- Why did you make me say it ? - So he'll work and earn money.

He's mysteriously rich !

He acts to give a sense of purpose to his life,

- ..but he's a ham. - And you put mustard on him.

Are you rich ?

Yes... very mysteriously !

I'm very nervous.

Calm down, nervousness plays nasty tricks.

I'm not "Mr Ten Times", or even an accountant.

I like you like this, with your little mentula.

If you don't feel like it now, we'll do it some other time.

Where's the library ?