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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:03,640 (BIRDSONG) 2 00:00:07,040 --> 00:00:08,920 OK. Can you get off? Good boy. 3 00:00:08,920 --> 00:00:11,280 MAY: Oh, Helen? We're hosting book club tonight. 4 00:00:11,280 --> 00:00:12,880 Do you want to join us? 5 00:00:12,880 --> 00:00:15,600 Same room, people. Can't hear you unless you're in the same room. 6 00:00:15,600 --> 00:00:17,320 Can't hear ya, May! 7 00:00:17,320 --> 00:00:21,680 We are hosting book club tonight. Would you like to join us? 8 00:00:21,680 --> 00:00:23,720 We're doing Three Women. Uh... 9 00:00:23,720 --> 00:00:25,840 Doing three women! 10 00:00:25,840 --> 00:00:27,400 Why is that funny? 11 00:00:28,640 --> 00:00:31,000 Doing. What? 12 00:00:31,000 --> 00:00:32,720 It's not funny, but what he's saying is, like, 13 00:00:32,720 --> 00:00:34,480 that you're...doing three women. 14 00:00:34,480 --> 00:00:35,560 Yeah. 15 00:00:35,560 --> 00:00:37,560 Yeah, but he's saying it as, like... 16 00:00:37,560 --> 00:00:39,320 ..DOING doing, 17 00:00:39,320 --> 00:00:43,240 not...not doing, but, you know, doing. 18 00:00:43,240 --> 00:00:46,200 You know, you're...doing. 19 00:00:46,200 --> 00:00:47,320 Oh! Doing. 20 00:00:47,320 --> 00:00:49,000 Intercourse. 21 00:00:49,000 --> 00:00:50,160 Mmm. 22 00:01:03,400 --> 00:01:06,360 Helen? This is Terry Montanello. 23 00:01:06,360 --> 00:01:08,400 Said he's here to see Roz, but she's not in. 24 00:01:08,400 --> 00:01:10,520 That's OK. Terry. Come in. Thanks, George. 25 00:01:10,520 --> 00:01:14,000 I'm Helen. I'm the new Roz. Sit down. Go. Talk. 26 00:01:14,000 --> 00:01:16,360 What do you need? What can I do for you? Somebody died? What's happened? 27 00:01:16,360 --> 00:01:18,760 Well, my great-aunt, Maria, she passed away. 28 00:01:18,760 --> 00:01:20,760 And I was... Yep. That's very sad. 29 00:01:20,760 --> 00:01:22,720 I'm sorry, have you really replaced Roz? 30 00:01:22,720 --> 00:01:26,000 Yeah. I'm the new Roz. Hello, Terry. Sorry I'm late. 31 00:01:26,000 --> 00:01:27,840 Thank you, Helen. I'll take it from here. 32 00:01:27,840 --> 00:01:30,960 Off you pop. Helen says she's your replacement. 33 00:01:30,960 --> 00:01:33,840 Oh, God, no. Oh, no. No, no, no, no. 34 00:01:33,840 --> 00:01:35,760 No. Well, that's a relief. 35 00:01:35,760 --> 00:01:37,000 (ROZ LAUGHS) Is it? 36 00:01:37,000 --> 00:01:39,560 N-no offence. Sorry. Alright. Well, point of order, Terry. 37 00:01:39,560 --> 00:01:41,040 Just because you say "No offence," 38 00:01:41,040 --> 00:01:43,880 it doesn't render the offensive thing you just said not offensive. 39 00:01:43,880 --> 00:01:47,280 Helen, why don't you go and work on bringing in some new business? 40 00:01:47,280 --> 00:01:49,520 You're not required here. That's offensive. 41 00:01:49,520 --> 00:01:51,600 Now, let's get to know your Aunt Maria. In the will... 42 00:01:51,600 --> 00:01:54,240 You should know, Terry, that Roz can't work as a solicitor anymore. 43 00:01:54,240 --> 00:01:56,240 She was struck off. Oh, I'm sorry, suspended. 44 00:01:56,240 --> 00:01:58,240 Out! Just so you know. 45 00:01:58,240 --> 00:01:59,720 Sorry. 46 00:01:59,720 --> 00:02:02,320 (LAUGHS) (GASPS) That's an excellent choice. 47 00:02:02,320 --> 00:02:05,440 Ray, can I ask a couple of questions about this case you don't want to do? 48 00:02:05,440 --> 00:02:09,120 Yeah. Make it quick. I got to get to court for the listing. 49 00:02:09,120 --> 00:02:10,680 No, it's Monday. So? 50 00:02:10,680 --> 00:02:12,760 Well, listings are on Tuesday. What are you, the boss of court? 51 00:02:12,760 --> 00:02:14,080 Hurry up. What do you need? OK. 52 00:02:14,080 --> 00:02:17,000 No time for sitting, buddy. So I read the file. 53 00:02:17,000 --> 00:02:18,480 Uh-huh. It says the brother gets the farm. 54 00:02:18,480 --> 00:02:21,240 The sister gets the family Bible. Seriously? 55 00:02:21,240 --> 00:02:23,480 Yeah, but apparently very nice Bible. 56 00:02:23,480 --> 00:02:25,080 It's got Jesus and prayers in it. 57 00:02:25,080 --> 00:02:26,640 There's a burning bush 58 00:02:26,640 --> 00:02:28,680 and some begetting and begatting, that kind of stuff. 59 00:02:28,680 --> 00:02:30,160 Wow. You're really selling it. 60 00:02:30,160 --> 00:02:32,760 But we're representing the brother, who drives a party bus. 61 00:02:32,760 --> 00:02:34,120 Is that right? Yeah. And? 62 00:02:34,120 --> 00:02:37,440 I don't get it. It says the sister worked the farm her whole life. 63 00:02:37,440 --> 00:02:38,920 Why was she left out? 64 00:02:38,920 --> 00:02:41,120 Dad was old-school and believed that...ohh... 65 00:02:41,120 --> 00:02:42,920 ..property should be handed down the male line, 66 00:02:42,920 --> 00:02:45,120 which would never stand up in court. 67 00:02:45,120 --> 00:02:48,080 I propose we get on the front foot and suggest 50/50 split. 68 00:02:48,080 --> 00:02:50,520 OK. Well, that's easy. Not really. 69 00:02:50,520 --> 00:02:52,640 Alice Pike is representing the sister, 70 00:02:52,640 --> 00:02:55,040 and she'll be gunning for a lot more than half. 71 00:02:55,040 --> 00:02:58,200 So? I'll just tell her, "The deal's 50/50. You take it or leave it." 72 00:02:58,200 --> 00:03:00,120 (LAUGHS) I'm loving your confidence, Fisk. 73 00:03:00,120 --> 00:03:02,600 I almost wish I could stick around and watch the car crash. 74 00:03:02,600 --> 00:03:05,560 But I can't. 'Cause I got to go. To the imaginary listings? 75 00:03:05,560 --> 00:03:07,040 Yep. Good get from you. 76 00:03:07,040 --> 00:03:10,160 Let's see how funny you are after half an hour with Alice Pike. 77 00:03:10,160 --> 00:03:11,960 What does that... Ray, what does that mean? 78 00:03:11,960 --> 00:03:15,120 What do you...what...? Good luck, Fisk! 79 00:03:15,120 --> 00:03:16,760 (DOOR OPENS) 80 00:03:20,040 --> 00:03:21,640 Raymond. Pike. 81 00:03:21,640 --> 00:03:23,120 We're supposed to have a meeting! 82 00:03:23,120 --> 00:03:25,200 I handed that over to my colleague, Helen Tudor. 83 00:03:25,200 --> 00:03:27,480 George, if you could help out Alice, that'd be wonderful. 84 00:03:27,480 --> 00:03:29,520 Hello. Can I help you? (DEVICE BUZZES) 85 00:03:29,520 --> 00:03:31,000 Hello. Alice Pike. 86 00:03:31,000 --> 00:03:32,560 Yes, four o'clock on the 15th. 87 00:03:32,560 --> 00:03:35,840 Send me an iCal invite. Let them know I have a hard stop at 4:20. 88 00:03:35,840 --> 00:03:38,040 Alice Pike. I was supposed to see Raymond. 89 00:03:38,040 --> 00:03:40,480 I believe it's now Helen Tudor. 90 00:03:40,480 --> 00:03:41,960 Fisk. What? 91 00:03:41,960 --> 00:03:45,200 Uh...uh, Tudor-Fisk. I'm sorry, do you speak English? 92 00:03:45,200 --> 00:03:46,960 (DEVICE BUZZES) Hello. Alice Pike. 93 00:03:46,960 --> 00:03:48,640 Yes, talk to me. Quickly, please. GEORGE: Uh... 94 00:03:48,640 --> 00:03:50,520 And the meeting is taking place where? 95 00:03:50,520 --> 00:03:53,000 I think it's either, um, Helen's office or the meeting room. 96 00:03:53,000 --> 00:03:54,760 I'll check. Got it. Text me to confirm. 97 00:03:54,760 --> 00:03:56,240 Thank you. OK, no worries. 98 00:03:56,240 --> 00:03:58,360 This way? Yeah, just to the left. 99 00:03:58,360 --> 00:04:00,920 Did you still want me to text you to confirm or... 100 00:04:00,920 --> 00:04:03,280 I'll send it to this number on the card. 101 00:04:05,720 --> 00:04:07,800 Helen Tudor, Alice Pike. 102 00:04:07,800 --> 00:04:08,840 (DEVICE BUZZES) Hello. 103 00:04:08,840 --> 00:04:10,920 Hello. Alice Pike. Erm... 104 00:04:10,920 --> 00:04:12,720 Hello. Helen Tudor-Fisk. 105 00:04:12,720 --> 00:04:14,840 Yes. Go ahead. I'm listening. Right. 106 00:04:14,840 --> 00:04:17,400 Well, I'm taking over Hopkins vs Hopkins, so... 107 00:04:17,400 --> 00:04:19,680 Yes, that's right. Thank you. ..I will be... 108 00:04:19,680 --> 00:04:22,000 I'm sorry. You're on the phone. No, I'm done. Helen, is it? 109 00:04:22,000 --> 00:04:25,000 Look, I've got a hard stop at 3:30, so let's get this done, shall we? 110 00:04:25,000 --> 00:04:28,120 I propose a 75/25 split. OK. 111 00:04:28,120 --> 00:04:33,080 Are we talking 75/25 or 25/75, if you know what I mean? 112 00:04:33,080 --> 00:04:34,160 I don't. (DEVICE BUZZES) 113 00:04:34,160 --> 00:04:36,720 Hello. Alice Pike. No, I'll be back in the office this afternoon. 114 00:04:36,720 --> 00:04:38,840 75/25. Do we have a deal? 115 00:04:38,840 --> 00:04:40,680 If it's 75/25, yes, we do. 116 00:04:40,680 --> 00:04:42,880 You're starting to irritate me, Helen. 117 00:04:42,880 --> 00:04:44,880 Right back at you, "Hello. Alice Pike." 118 00:04:44,880 --> 00:04:46,360 Listen to me. 119 00:04:46,360 --> 00:04:48,200 75/25. 120 00:04:48,200 --> 00:04:50,680 No, you listen to me, because I'm the offerer, 121 00:04:50,680 --> 00:04:53,560 so I say what the offer is, and I've just decided, oh, guess what, 122 00:04:53,560 --> 00:04:56,080 it's 90/10, to me, to my client. 123 00:04:56,080 --> 00:04:58,560 We both know that won't hold up in court. 124 00:04:58,560 --> 00:05:00,680 Do we know that? Do you want to find out? 125 00:05:00,680 --> 00:05:03,480 I do not, sir. 80/20. Try again. 126 00:05:03,480 --> 00:05:05,520 70/30. Stop wasting my time. 127 00:05:05,520 --> 00:05:08,560 Best offer on the table right now or I'll see you in court. 128 00:05:08,560 --> 00:05:10,080 OK. 129 00:05:10,080 --> 00:05:12,280 S... Don't you dare say 60/40. 130 00:05:12,280 --> 00:05:14,520 I wasn't going to. You don't know what I'm gonna say. 131 00:05:14,520 --> 00:05:19,280 It was gonna be, "So, offer, 50/50." Thank you. 132 00:05:19,280 --> 00:05:22,880 Now we have a starting point. I'll take that to my client. 133 00:05:22,880 --> 00:05:25,320 Well...it's not a starting point, it's a finishing point, 134 00:05:25,320 --> 00:05:26,960 and you can take it or leave it. 135 00:05:26,960 --> 00:05:29,440 What's that, now? Erm, on the phone, please. 136 00:05:29,440 --> 00:05:31,920 Hello. Alice... Uh, it's Helen. 137 00:05:31,920 --> 00:05:34,720 Go away. I'm busy. Hard stopping. 138 00:05:34,720 --> 00:05:36,360 Yep. OK. 139 00:05:36,360 --> 00:05:38,040 ROZ: Call them today. 140 00:05:38,040 --> 00:05:40,080 (DEVICE BUZZES) Hello. Alice Pike. 141 00:05:40,080 --> 00:05:42,480 Just a moment. 142 00:05:42,480 --> 00:05:45,400 Well, well. Roz Gruber. 143 00:05:45,400 --> 00:05:47,120 I'll call you back. 144 00:05:47,120 --> 00:05:50,000 I'm very surprised to see YOU working here. 145 00:05:50,000 --> 00:05:51,680 I'm the office manager, nothing more. 146 00:05:51,680 --> 00:05:54,440 She doesn't work as a solicitor anymore. She's been suspended. 147 00:05:54,440 --> 00:05:56,320 Oh, she knows. Oh, I know. 148 00:05:56,320 --> 00:05:58,880 George, this is the infamous Alice Pike. 149 00:05:58,880 --> 00:06:01,280 Alice is the one who persuaded two of my clients 150 00:06:01,280 --> 00:06:03,000 to make the complaints that got me suspended. 151 00:06:03,000 --> 00:06:05,120 (DEVICE BUZZES) Hello. Alice Pike. 152 00:06:05,120 --> 00:06:07,000 Yes. This is she. 153 00:06:07,000 --> 00:06:09,360 It's fine. I'm not with anyone important. 154 00:06:09,360 --> 00:06:11,240 Go ahead. I'm listening. 155 00:06:12,240 --> 00:06:14,160 "This is she." I mean, who says that? 156 00:06:14,160 --> 00:06:15,640 (DOOR CLOSES) She's full of it. 157 00:06:15,640 --> 00:06:17,440 Like, I don't think there's even anyone calling her. 158 00:06:17,440 --> 00:06:21,120 You have got to be kidding me. No, I'm serious. She's faking it. 159 00:06:21,120 --> 00:06:22,920 Ray? 160 00:06:22,920 --> 00:06:24,560 Did you know Pike was here? 161 00:06:24,560 --> 00:06:26,480 Why do you think I went and sat in the car for an hour? 162 00:06:26,480 --> 00:06:29,840 Apparently she wants to specialise in wills and probate! 163 00:06:29,840 --> 00:06:31,720 Come on! That's my thing! I'm sorry? 164 00:06:31,720 --> 00:06:34,000 That's your thing. You saw the gap in the market years ago. 165 00:06:34,000 --> 00:06:35,480 Well done, Roz. 166 00:06:35,480 --> 00:06:37,400 We need to get more aggressive about new business, 167 00:06:37,400 --> 00:06:38,880 keep her out of the market. 168 00:06:38,880 --> 00:06:41,480 Wow. You were right about Alice Pike. 169 00:06:41,480 --> 00:06:43,520 Hello, Roz. ROZ: Helen! 170 00:06:43,520 --> 00:06:45,000 How's your client list going? 171 00:06:45,000 --> 00:06:46,960 We need some more business and lots of it. 172 00:06:46,960 --> 00:06:48,840 Uh, I took a walk-in yesterday. 173 00:06:48,840 --> 00:06:50,880 Well done, Helen. Thank you. 174 00:06:50,880 --> 00:06:54,760 Someone wandered in. I might go sit in the car again. 175 00:06:54,760 --> 00:06:58,600 That is called passive recruitment. I think that might be my forte. 176 00:06:58,600 --> 00:07:01,040 You need to be more proactive, Helen. Tout for business. 177 00:07:01,040 --> 00:07:03,920 So, like, lurk at funeral homes and hand out business cards? 178 00:07:03,920 --> 00:07:06,320 Excellent idea. Wasn't serious. 179 00:07:06,320 --> 00:07:09,520 Then get serious! Where's our client base? 180 00:07:09,520 --> 00:07:12,400 (SIGHS) Post office? Old people love the post office. 181 00:07:12,400 --> 00:07:14,240 And Michel's Patisserie. 182 00:07:14,240 --> 00:07:16,760 The movies, specifically talking through the movies. 183 00:07:16,760 --> 00:07:18,640 Church. You can always find them at church. 184 00:07:18,640 --> 00:07:20,120 We don't want old people. 185 00:07:20,120 --> 00:07:22,720 We want middle-aged people squabbling over an inheritance. 186 00:07:22,720 --> 00:07:25,000 Got it. Squabblers. 187 00:07:25,000 --> 00:07:29,160 Tout for squabblers. Be a squabbler touter. 188 00:07:31,120 --> 00:07:33,160 I actually came to see Ray. 189 00:07:33,160 --> 00:07:35,200 W-where's Ray gone? 190 00:07:46,840 --> 00:07:48,520 (GASPS) 191 00:08:02,040 --> 00:08:03,800 Careful, careful, careful - now, can you put Leslie 192 00:08:03,800 --> 00:08:05,680 in the chair where she likes it, please? 193 00:08:12,320 --> 00:08:14,040 This way. 194 00:08:18,120 --> 00:08:22,080 My mother, you know, well, she grew up, obviously, Second World War. 195 00:08:22,080 --> 00:08:24,080 So, I mean... Helen! 196 00:08:24,080 --> 00:08:27,240 Um, everyone, this is Helen. Come in. Come and join us. 197 00:08:27,240 --> 00:08:29,360 No, I'm good, May. I haven't read the book, so... 198 00:08:29,360 --> 00:08:31,280 Oh, hang on. Snacks. I'm in. OK. 199 00:08:31,280 --> 00:08:32,880 WOMAN: Hi, Helen. Hello. 200 00:08:32,880 --> 00:08:35,960 As I was saying, this first chapter really reminded me 201 00:08:35,960 --> 00:08:37,960 of my own mother's story. 202 00:08:37,960 --> 00:08:40,560 Leslie's mum passed away recently. Oh, I see. 203 00:08:40,560 --> 00:08:45,480 Mum had an inner strength. Oh, she was a mother and a worker. 204 00:08:45,480 --> 00:08:47,720 She had a part-time job in a cake shop. 205 00:08:47,720 --> 00:08:51,320 Ooh. How delicious. She was a wife and a friend. 206 00:08:51,320 --> 00:08:54,880 She played canasta and tenpin bowls. 207 00:08:54,880 --> 00:08:57,520 She lived a very full life. 208 00:08:57,520 --> 00:09:00,160 I'd really love to tell HER story. 209 00:09:00,160 --> 00:09:01,680 Feel like you ARE. (LAUGHS) 210 00:09:01,680 --> 00:09:04,680 The good thing is, I'm taking a creative writing course. 211 00:09:04,680 --> 00:09:06,400 So... 212 00:09:06,400 --> 00:09:07,680 Oh, good. 213 00:09:10,160 --> 00:09:13,200 LESLIE: Uh, anyway, as I was saying... 214 00:09:13,200 --> 00:09:14,760 Is there any more wine? ..when a parent dies... 215 00:09:14,760 --> 00:09:16,440 Oh, God. I'm sorry, Leslie. You're still talking. 216 00:09:16,440 --> 00:09:18,640 ..it puts things in perspective. 217 00:09:18,640 --> 00:09:21,080 So what if you didn't get the best park at the supermarket? 218 00:09:21,080 --> 00:09:23,560 You know? So bloody what? 219 00:09:23,560 --> 00:09:25,680 Speaking of car parks, what about the chapter 220 00:09:25,680 --> 00:09:28,080 where they had sex in the car? 221 00:09:28,080 --> 00:09:29,560 Not now, Graham. 222 00:09:29,560 --> 00:09:32,320 LESLIE: What's really hard at the moment 223 00:09:32,320 --> 00:09:34,760 is everyone squabbling over Mum's stuff. 224 00:09:34,760 --> 00:09:37,160 Ooh! Squabbling? How are they squabbling there, Leslie? 225 00:09:37,160 --> 00:09:38,880 I don't want to sell her house. Mm-hm. 226 00:09:38,880 --> 00:09:41,080 I mean, it's full of memories. Yep. What does the will say? 227 00:09:41,080 --> 00:09:42,840 Are you the executor? Pardon? 228 00:09:42,840 --> 00:09:44,320 Well, you might not have to sell the house. 229 00:09:44,320 --> 00:09:45,760 Oh, Helen's a lawyer. Yeah. 230 00:09:45,760 --> 00:09:47,320 I'm a wills and probate specialist, actually. 231 00:09:47,320 --> 00:09:48,880 WOMAN: Oh, can I have one of those, Helen? 232 00:09:48,880 --> 00:09:51,040 Oh, you bet. There you go. One for you. 233 00:09:51,040 --> 00:09:53,000 Oh, hello. Yep. Bringing in some new business. 234 00:09:53,000 --> 00:09:55,520 There we go. Good stuff, all of you. Give me a call. 235 00:09:55,520 --> 00:10:00,040 Alright. If we can just circle back to the sex-in-the-car scenes. 236 00:10:00,040 --> 00:10:02,160 Weren't they titillating? 237 00:10:03,840 --> 00:10:06,480 But also relevant. 238 00:10:15,120 --> 00:10:17,560 ROZ: I think we should shampoo the carpet. A dry shampoo. 239 00:10:17,560 --> 00:10:20,080 Yeah. 'Cause you can walk on that reasonably quick. 240 00:10:20,080 --> 00:10:22,160 Mmm. Good morning, Roz. 241 00:10:22,160 --> 00:10:24,280 What's that? "Did you bring in any new business?" 242 00:10:24,280 --> 00:10:26,280 Ooh, I'm glad you asked. 243 00:10:26,280 --> 00:10:30,000 Two new clients, and I know where to find a whole lot more. 244 00:10:30,000 --> 00:10:32,720 Do not say Michel's Patisserie, because they banned me 245 00:10:32,720 --> 00:10:35,280 the last time I was there handing out business cards. 246 00:10:35,280 --> 00:10:37,400 It's a shame. They do such excellent coffee. 247 00:10:37,400 --> 00:10:39,560 Well, let's hear your idea, Helen. Two words. 248 00:10:39,560 --> 00:10:42,080 Book club. 249 00:10:42,080 --> 00:10:43,640 What's the second word? 250 00:10:44,960 --> 00:10:48,000 Book clubs are full of middle-aged people, mostly women, 251 00:10:48,000 --> 00:10:49,480 dead or dying parents, 252 00:10:49,480 --> 00:10:53,240 and they're all SQUABBLING over their inheritance. 253 00:10:53,240 --> 00:10:55,960 That's your business strategy, is it? 254 00:10:55,960 --> 00:10:57,960 Walk up to complete strangers and ask, 255 00:10:57,960 --> 00:11:00,600 "Can I please come to your book club?" 256 00:11:00,600 --> 00:11:04,800 Well, it sounded less stupid when I said it, but, essentially... 257 00:11:04,800 --> 00:11:07,120 ..yes. 258 00:11:08,400 --> 00:11:12,320 What about the vertical blinds? Hmm. There's no doubt they're tired. 259 00:11:21,360 --> 00:11:22,920 (TYPES) 260 00:11:30,920 --> 00:11:33,800 (WHISPERS) Oh! Fisk! Pike's in reception. 261 00:11:33,800 --> 00:11:35,560 You haven't seen me. What? Who's in reception? 262 00:11:35,560 --> 00:11:37,720 Oh! Hello, Alice Pike. Hello. Alice Pike. 263 00:11:37,720 --> 00:11:39,160 I just said that! 264 00:11:39,160 --> 00:11:42,440 Yes, that's all doable, but, obviously, with a hard stop at 3:30. 265 00:11:42,440 --> 00:11:45,160 OK? Alright, circling back to where we left off. 266 00:11:45,160 --> 00:11:47,400 The offer was deemed untenable. 267 00:11:49,680 --> 00:11:52,120 Is this your new hardball act, Helen? 268 00:11:52,120 --> 00:11:53,600 Oh, how tedious. 269 00:11:53,600 --> 00:11:55,440 Oh, God, sorry. I thought you were still on the phone. 270 00:11:55,440 --> 00:11:58,440 It's very hard to know with you. My client will accept 60/40. 271 00:11:58,440 --> 00:12:00,840 And 60 goes to...? To my client. 272 00:12:00,840 --> 00:12:03,040 Well, then, I'm sorry, no deal. 273 00:12:03,040 --> 00:12:06,080 The offer was 50/50 or I see you in court. 274 00:12:06,080 --> 00:12:07,200 Done. Thank you. 275 00:12:07,200 --> 00:12:09,440 50/50? No. I'll see you in court. 276 00:12:09,440 --> 00:12:11,600 RAY: We're not going to court, Fisk. 277 00:12:11,600 --> 00:12:14,920 Where...are you in the cupboard? 278 00:12:14,920 --> 00:12:17,440 It's more of a storeroom than a cupboard. 279 00:12:17,440 --> 00:12:20,000 ROZ: So there's a few ways we can go with this. 280 00:12:20,000 --> 00:12:23,760 And, obviously, it's your choice, Terry, but I will say... 281 00:12:23,760 --> 00:12:25,800 (CONTINUES INDISTINCTLY) (CAMERA CLICKS) 282 00:12:25,800 --> 00:12:28,520 (CAMERA CONTINUES CLICKING) 283 00:12:29,520 --> 00:12:31,120 (DOOR OPENS) 284 00:12:31,120 --> 00:12:33,400 (CAMERA CLICKS) 285 00:12:33,400 --> 00:12:37,680 You want me to accept 60/40, 60 to them, 40 to us. (SIGHS) Why? 286 00:12:37,680 --> 00:12:40,040 Because if we go to court, we might end up with nothing. 287 00:12:40,040 --> 00:12:42,440 Oh, come on! Is Alice Pike really that good? 288 00:12:42,440 --> 00:12:44,400 It's not about Pike. It's about OUR client. 289 00:12:44,400 --> 00:12:47,200 Have a look at this bloke. Have a look. 290 00:12:47,200 --> 00:12:49,320 This one? Mmm. 291 00:12:49,320 --> 00:12:52,000 Alright, Brandon, uh, we're going to film today's session 292 00:12:52,000 --> 00:12:54,720 so that we can help you work on your presentation, so... 293 00:12:54,720 --> 00:12:57,520 You don't...George, you don't need me in this, just Brandon. 294 00:12:57,520 --> 00:12:59,040 That's Brandon. RAY: (VIDEO) OK. 295 00:12:59,040 --> 00:13:01,520 So, the first thing the judge might ask is, 296 00:13:01,520 --> 00:13:03,880 "Mr Hopkins, what do you do for a living?" 297 00:13:03,880 --> 00:13:06,160 Uh-huh. And you would say? 298 00:13:06,160 --> 00:13:08,280 Hi, Judge. Uh, yep. OK. 299 00:13:08,280 --> 00:13:11,840 So, uh...I run me own business, which is a party bus, 300 00:13:11,840 --> 00:13:15,200 do a lot of hens' nights, a lot of bucks' nights, but... 301 00:13:15,200 --> 00:13:16,680 ..anyone can book it. 302 00:13:16,680 --> 00:13:18,280 Like, say, you and... you and your judge mates, 303 00:13:18,280 --> 00:13:20,560 you want to go to the pub, I can come and pick youse all up, 304 00:13:20,560 --> 00:13:25,640 and the beauty is, you can drink on the way to drinking at the pub. 305 00:13:25,640 --> 00:13:27,560 How good is that? It gets better. 306 00:13:27,560 --> 00:13:29,040 The sound system is next-level. 307 00:13:29,040 --> 00:13:31,640 It's so good, a lot of people don't want to get off. 308 00:13:31,640 --> 00:13:35,880 So we just drive around and everyone gets munted, on the bus! 309 00:13:35,880 --> 00:13:39,600 Not me, obviously. I don't drink and drive, anymore. 310 00:13:39,600 --> 00:13:42,000 Stop. Let's try again. RAY: (OFFICE) Mm-hm. 311 00:13:42,000 --> 00:13:44,800 This time, when I ask you what you do for a living, 312 00:13:44,800 --> 00:13:47,000 stop talking after "I run me own business." 313 00:13:47,000 --> 00:13:49,880 Yeah, but some people might not know what a party bus is. 314 00:13:49,880 --> 00:13:52,920 Which I think's for the best. (LAUGHS) 315 00:13:52,920 --> 00:13:54,640 George? Hang on. 316 00:13:54,640 --> 00:13:57,760 Mate, put the camera back. We're gonna be here for a while. 317 00:13:57,760 --> 00:14:00,640 Are we? 'Ray'? 318 00:14:00,640 --> 00:14:02,360 Yeah, OK. Point made. 319 00:14:02,360 --> 00:14:03,840 I...I can show you more if you want to see... 320 00:14:03,840 --> 00:14:06,120 Uh, no need. No need. You had me at 'munted'. 321 00:14:06,120 --> 00:14:08,200 'Ray'. 322 00:14:10,640 --> 00:14:12,960 ROZ: Here we go. 323 00:14:12,960 --> 00:14:14,440 One, two, three, four. 324 00:14:14,440 --> 00:14:18,160 (WOMEN HARMONISE) 325 00:14:18,160 --> 00:14:22,840 # Ooh, I want to find a better place # Oh 326 00:14:22,840 --> 00:14:26,320 # Ooh, ooh 327 00:14:26,320 --> 00:14:30,120 # I'm searching for a better place 328 00:14:30,120 --> 00:14:31,760 # Heaven # Heaven 329 00:14:31,760 --> 00:14:34,320 # Must be there 330 00:14:34,320 --> 00:14:36,640 # Well, it's there # Well, it's just got to be there 331 00:14:36,640 --> 00:14:38,880 # I've never # Never, ever 332 00:14:38,880 --> 00:14:41,280 # Ever seen Eden 333 00:14:41,280 --> 00:14:43,680 # But ah, ah, ah 334 00:14:43,680 --> 00:14:48,920 # I don't want to live in this place. # 335 00:14:48,920 --> 00:14:51,400 Excellent. Where's your note? Here it is. (BLOWS PITCHPIPE) 336 00:14:51,400 --> 00:14:53,920 WOMAN: # Mmm, ah 337 00:14:53,920 --> 00:14:55,360 # There it is, Bobbie, good # Thank you, Roz 338 00:14:55,360 --> 00:14:56,840 # Lovely, lovely from you 339 00:14:56,840 --> 00:14:59,280 # Rozalind, I think the cleaner wants to see you. # 340 00:14:59,280 --> 00:15:02,360 The cleaner? What are you talking about? Oh, Helen. Hello! Come on in! 341 00:15:02,360 --> 00:15:03,880 Wow. You're in a good mood. 342 00:15:03,880 --> 00:15:06,480 That is because we're singing. It's the endorphins. 343 00:15:06,480 --> 00:15:07,960 Oh, is that what it is? 344 00:15:07,960 --> 00:15:10,720 Everybody, this is our new associate, Helen Tudor-Fisk. 345 00:15:10,720 --> 00:15:12,440 Hello. # Hello 346 00:15:12,440 --> 00:15:14,120 # Hello # Hello! 347 00:15:14,120 --> 00:15:17,680 (DEEPLY) # Hello! # 348 00:15:17,680 --> 00:15:19,160 (HARMONISING STOPS) (WOMAN HOLDS NOTE) 349 00:15:19,160 --> 00:15:22,640 (GASPS) That's Maggie. She's our drone. Don't you love it? 350 00:15:22,640 --> 00:15:28,680 (HOLDS NOTE) 351 00:15:28,680 --> 00:15:30,120 Very Gregorian. MAGGIE: Thank you. 352 00:15:30,120 --> 00:15:31,880 HELEN: Extraordinary. Have a drink! 353 00:15:31,880 --> 00:15:34,400 Yeah, sure. What are we celebrating? We're rehearsing for a funeral. 354 00:15:34,400 --> 00:15:37,360 Oh, fun. We also do weddings. Grab a flyer. 355 00:15:37,360 --> 00:15:42,080 MAGGIE: Roz, don't forget. I'm gonna need a new top for Saturday. 356 00:15:42,080 --> 00:15:45,120 That is noted. I'll get you a maternity skivvy. 357 00:15:45,120 --> 00:15:47,920 Alright, ladies. Let's keep going. 358 00:15:47,920 --> 00:15:50,240 Feel free to join us and watch the show, Helen. 359 00:15:50,240 --> 00:15:51,840 Yeah. Alright. 360 00:15:51,840 --> 00:15:55,320 I'll be, um, in charge of endorphins, shall I? 361 00:15:55,320 --> 00:15:58,240 ROZ: One, two, three, four. 362 00:15:58,240 --> 00:16:01,920 (WOMEN HARMONISE) 363 00:16:03,960 --> 00:16:13,240 (TO TUNE OF AVE MARIA) # Aunty Maria 364 00:16:13,240 --> 00:16:14,960 # Ah 365 00:16:14,960 --> 00:16:17,320 # Aunty 366 00:16:17,320 --> 00:16:18,960 # Maria # Ah 367 00:16:18,960 --> 00:16:23,920 # Rest in peace # Ah...ah. # 368 00:16:23,920 --> 00:16:25,960 We'll miss you. God bless. 369 00:16:25,960 --> 00:16:28,840 Oh! Nice! 370 00:16:28,840 --> 00:16:32,280 Do more church ones. Do more church ones. What's the other one? 371 00:16:32,280 --> 00:16:34,760 The...who knows the Our Father? Come on. Everyone knows that one. 372 00:16:34,760 --> 00:16:36,600 I know...I know it. Go, go, go. 373 00:16:36,600 --> 00:16:40,640 # Our Father, who art... # 374 00:16:40,640 --> 00:16:42,840 Nah. Bit slow. Bit boring. 375 00:16:42,840 --> 00:16:45,440 Do the nun one where she rocks it with a guitar - you know, the... 376 00:16:45,440 --> 00:16:48,480 # Our Father, who art in heaven... # Alright. OK, stop. 377 00:16:48,480 --> 00:16:50,640 Stop. I think... now you're making fun. 378 00:16:50,640 --> 00:16:52,360 Having fun. Sorry, Maggie, what was that? 379 00:16:52,360 --> 00:16:53,840 Ladies, I hate to break up rehearsal, 380 00:16:53,840 --> 00:16:55,400 but I've got a birthing class to go to. 381 00:16:55,400 --> 00:16:57,600 Oh, great! Yes, and I've got book club. 382 00:16:57,600 --> 00:16:59,360 Ooh! Book club! Can I tag along, Tina? 383 00:16:59,360 --> 00:17:01,560 I'm Bobbie. Can I tag along, Bobbie? 384 00:17:01,560 --> 00:17:03,600 Sure. Have you read Three Women? 385 00:17:03,600 --> 00:17:05,080 Yes. 386 00:17:05,080 --> 00:17:07,400 What about when they have sex in the car? 387 00:17:07,400 --> 00:17:09,320 I know! Visceral! 388 00:17:09,320 --> 00:17:10,920 Going to book club, Roz. 389 00:17:15,080 --> 00:17:17,000 HELEN: Hey, I won't be home for dinner tonight, 390 00:17:17,000 --> 00:17:19,000 because I am off to Kay's book club. 391 00:17:19,000 --> 00:17:20,480 MAY: Who's Kay? 392 00:17:20,480 --> 00:17:22,320 I met her last night at Bobbie's book club. 393 00:17:22,320 --> 00:17:23,840 And then she invited me to HER book club. 394 00:17:23,840 --> 00:17:25,840 I've got a few invitations, actually. I've got Anna. 395 00:17:25,840 --> 00:17:29,520 She's another friend of Bobbie's. And then I've got Beverley someone. 396 00:17:29,520 --> 00:17:31,800 Hers is the third Thursday of every month. I'll never remember that. 397 00:17:31,800 --> 00:17:34,600 But the thing is, I've told everyone I'm lonely and I've got no friends. 398 00:17:34,600 --> 00:17:36,400 Good on you for admitting it. 399 00:17:36,400 --> 00:17:39,160 That's a good first step. Sorry, what am I admitting? 400 00:17:39,160 --> 00:17:41,560 That you're lonely. I'm not lonely, guys. 401 00:17:41,560 --> 00:17:44,520 I'm touting for business. I'm squabbler-touting. 402 00:17:44,520 --> 00:17:47,480 OK. I'm not lonely, guys. 403 00:17:47,480 --> 00:17:49,560 Got heaps of...I've got friends. 404 00:17:49,560 --> 00:17:53,200 Got a friend. Shut up. I do. 405 00:17:55,880 --> 00:17:58,120 ROZ: (KNOCKS ON DOOR) Raymond. 406 00:17:58,120 --> 00:18:00,600 Show me. Show me these photos. 407 00:18:01,800 --> 00:18:03,920 Oh, well, that's rubbish! 408 00:18:03,920 --> 00:18:05,760 Terry's not a Gruber client. 409 00:18:05,760 --> 00:18:08,000 I know that, Roz, but Pike's claiming otherwise, 410 00:18:08,000 --> 00:18:10,160 and the board have asked us for a meeting. 411 00:18:10,160 --> 00:18:12,360 Oh, they can have a meeting. Get them in here. 412 00:18:12,360 --> 00:18:14,200 I've got nothing to hide. Calm down. 413 00:18:14,200 --> 00:18:16,720 I'll give Alex Walker a call. He knows us. He's on the board. 414 00:18:16,720 --> 00:18:18,880 And I'll just... Yeah. I would like a meeting. 415 00:18:18,880 --> 00:18:22,960 I welcome the opportunity to speak for myself and clear my name. 416 00:18:22,960 --> 00:18:25,280 I really think it would be easier to just sort of... 417 00:18:25,280 --> 00:18:26,760 ..do what you said. 418 00:18:26,760 --> 00:18:28,720 Mmm. I'll organise a meeting. 419 00:18:28,720 --> 00:18:30,800 (PHONE CLATTERS) That screen needs a wipe. 420 00:18:31,880 --> 00:18:34,320 ROZ: Just keep it short and sharp and efficient. 421 00:18:34,320 --> 00:18:36,200 Yep. Oh, thank you, George. 422 00:18:36,200 --> 00:18:38,320 Did you want me? Yeah, please. 423 00:18:38,320 --> 00:18:39,760 Can you guys sit down for a sec? 424 00:18:39,760 --> 00:18:44,680 So, Alice Pike has made a complaint to the Legal Services Board. 425 00:18:44,680 --> 00:18:46,920 Oh, not about me? No, Helen, about me. 426 00:18:46,920 --> 00:18:48,720 HELEN: Oh, good. For me. 427 00:18:48,720 --> 00:18:50,680 Not good for you, obviously. That's bad. 428 00:18:50,680 --> 00:18:52,720 She claims I'm in breach of my suspension 429 00:18:52,720 --> 00:18:54,280 and working as a solicitor. 430 00:18:54,280 --> 00:18:57,440 Oh, hardly! You don't do any work. I mean, George and I do it. 431 00:18:57,440 --> 00:18:58,920 What is Alice Pike's problem? 432 00:18:58,920 --> 00:19:01,720 Oh, this goes way back to when Roz and... 433 00:19:01,720 --> 00:19:03,720 The problem is... 434 00:19:03,720 --> 00:19:05,800 ..I've always been a better lawyer than Alice Pike. 435 00:19:05,800 --> 00:19:07,920 Back in the day, I gave her what for in that courtroom 436 00:19:07,920 --> 00:19:09,400 on more than one occasion. 437 00:19:09,400 --> 00:19:12,600 Roz also gave Pike's boyfriend what for at a party once. 438 00:19:12,600 --> 00:19:14,280 That's the real reason. (GASPS) 439 00:19:14,280 --> 00:19:16,280 Did you cuckold Alice Pike? 440 00:19:16,280 --> 00:19:18,040 It was over 30 years ago. 441 00:19:18,040 --> 00:19:20,480 He said they'd broken up. Did you just say 'cuckold'? 442 00:19:20,480 --> 00:19:23,120 Yeah, we're doing The Miller's Tale at one of my book clubs. 443 00:19:23,120 --> 00:19:24,760 It's about cuckolding, apparently. 444 00:19:24,760 --> 00:19:26,680 I've not read it. What's cuckolding? 445 00:19:26,680 --> 00:19:28,560 Is that the thing where you put the belt around your neck? 446 00:19:28,560 --> 00:19:31,080 'Cause that's really dangerous, Roz. 447 00:19:31,080 --> 00:19:32,920 No, it is not that. 448 00:19:34,320 --> 00:19:36,520 Item two. 449 00:19:41,680 --> 00:19:43,360 Thank you. 450 00:19:53,840 --> 00:19:56,120 Got a bit of reading there, Helen? What? 451 00:19:56,120 --> 00:19:58,760 Oh, no, these are for my book clubs. I don't actually read them. 452 00:19:58,760 --> 00:20:01,400 I just wave it around, yeah, nod a bit, 453 00:20:01,400 --> 00:20:03,360 then, yeah, eat the snacks, drink the wine 454 00:20:03,360 --> 00:20:05,360 and tout for squabblers. 455 00:20:05,360 --> 00:20:07,800 I could do that. Any word from the board, Raymond? 456 00:20:07,800 --> 00:20:10,240 You got your wish, Roz. Alex Walker's coming in this afternoon. 457 00:20:10,240 --> 00:20:13,360 Great! I shall prepare my defence. 458 00:20:14,720 --> 00:20:16,240 Yeah. 459 00:20:16,240 --> 00:20:19,360 The simple answer is no, you cannot freeze a potato. 460 00:20:21,520 --> 00:20:24,000 Maggie. Maggie, I'm telling you, you're not in labour. 461 00:20:24,000 --> 00:20:26,400 It's just Braxton Hicks. 462 00:20:26,400 --> 00:20:28,840 No. That is definitely false labour. 463 00:20:28,840 --> 00:20:32,720 I can hear it. I can hear it. That baby is not coming out today. 464 00:20:32,720 --> 00:20:36,200 Oh, come on, Maggie. This is so important to me. 465 00:20:36,200 --> 00:20:38,040 This is my chance... 466 00:20:38,040 --> 00:20:39,800 Maggie? 467 00:20:39,800 --> 00:20:42,520 Maggie? Hello? 468 00:20:42,520 --> 00:20:45,480 Oh! Shit! Shit, shit! 469 00:20:45,480 --> 00:20:47,720 Shit. Shit! 470 00:20:47,720 --> 00:20:50,600 Helen! Yep. 471 00:20:50,600 --> 00:20:52,400 What are you doing? Nothing. I wasn't. 472 00:20:52,400 --> 00:20:53,880 Right. 473 00:20:53,880 --> 00:20:57,160 You are my new drone. Don't know what that means. 474 00:20:57,160 --> 00:20:58,680 Listen. 475 00:20:58,680 --> 00:21:00,640 (BLOWS PITCHPIPE) 476 00:21:00,640 --> 00:21:02,120 # Maa... # 477 00:21:02,120 --> 00:21:04,000 # Ma-maa? # (BLOWS PITCHPIPE) 478 00:21:04,000 --> 00:21:06,000 # Maa # Maa 479 00:21:06,000 --> 00:21:07,520 # Maa... # Ah... # 480 00:21:07,520 --> 00:21:09,880 Lower. You're the drone. Lower. 481 00:21:09,880 --> 00:21:12,000 (LOW) # Ohh... # Use your diaphragm. 482 00:21:12,000 --> 00:21:14,600 (LOWER) # Ohh... # That's your pelvis. 483 00:21:14,600 --> 00:21:17,160 # Ah...ah...ah... # (BLOWS PITCHPIPE) 484 00:21:17,160 --> 00:21:19,360 Just...it's the one note. Just hold the one note, Helen. 485 00:21:19,360 --> 00:21:22,120 I'm not a singer, Roz. I'm not asking you to sing. 486 00:21:22,120 --> 00:21:25,520 I'm asking you to drone. Come on. (BLOWS PITCHPIPE) 487 00:21:25,520 --> 00:21:27,320 (BOTH DRONE) 488 00:21:27,320 --> 00:21:29,200 That's it. That's it. You've got it. You've got it. 489 00:21:29,200 --> 00:21:32,200 Fisk, what are you doing? # I'm the drone... # 490 00:21:32,200 --> 00:21:34,560 Maggie's gone into labour, or so she says. 491 00:21:34,560 --> 00:21:37,080 Alex is gonna be here in half an hour, but it's not too late. 492 00:21:37,080 --> 00:21:39,320 I could still give him a call and explain everything. 493 00:21:39,320 --> 00:21:41,080 Yeah, I reckon let's just do what Ray said. 494 00:21:41,080 --> 00:21:45,480 Ray, this is about me going on the record and clearing my name. 495 00:21:45,480 --> 00:21:48,760 Feels more about you showing off and doing one of your little concerts. 496 00:21:48,760 --> 00:21:51,760 Uh, Roz, two of your black lady Wiggles are in reception. 497 00:21:51,760 --> 00:21:54,240 (BLOWS PITCHPIPE) And put this on. 498 00:21:55,440 --> 00:21:58,000 (DRONES) Think you're a bit flat, Helen. 499 00:21:58,000 --> 00:22:00,960 You think? (DRONES HIGHER) RAY: Oh, for God's sake, Fisk! 500 00:22:00,960 --> 00:22:04,360 Enough. You sound like a cow with a vuvuzela stuck up its arse. 501 00:22:04,360 --> 00:22:06,800 What time's Pike coming in to sign off on the 60/40 deal? 502 00:22:06,800 --> 00:22:08,320 About five. (BLOWS PITCHPIPE) Alright. 503 00:22:08,320 --> 00:22:11,720 (DRONES) 504 00:22:11,720 --> 00:22:13,800 That's nice. (DRONES) 505 00:22:17,520 --> 00:22:19,720 MAN: That's a true story. I'm not making that up. 506 00:22:19,720 --> 00:22:22,640 MAN 2: Mate, true or made-up, it's still not interesting. 507 00:22:24,160 --> 00:22:26,920 And I requested a quiet ride. 508 00:22:26,920 --> 00:22:28,400 One star. 509 00:22:28,400 --> 00:22:30,320 (SIGHS) 510 00:22:35,640 --> 00:22:37,400 Ladies and gentlemen, 511 00:22:37,400 --> 00:22:39,080 distinguished guest, 512 00:22:39,080 --> 00:22:43,800 friends beyond the binary and member of the board. 513 00:22:43,800 --> 00:22:45,480 It's a pleas... Hurry it up, mate. 514 00:22:45,480 --> 00:22:48,160 Thank you. Thank you, George. I'll take it from here. 515 00:22:50,160 --> 00:22:52,200 Good afternoon. 516 00:22:52,200 --> 00:22:56,240 May I present to you the Sadrigals, an all-woman madrigal group 517 00:22:56,240 --> 00:22:59,240 available for funerals and memorial services. 518 00:22:59,240 --> 00:23:01,520 And this...this is Terry. 519 00:23:01,520 --> 00:23:03,880 Would you please state who you are for the record? 520 00:23:03,880 --> 00:23:05,640 My name is Terry Montanello. 521 00:23:05,640 --> 00:23:07,240 The Sadrigals will be performing 522 00:23:07,240 --> 00:23:11,440 at the funeral of my Great-Aunt Maria this Saturday. (LAUGHS) 523 00:23:11,440 --> 00:23:13,680 And for the record... ALEX: There's no record. 524 00:23:13,680 --> 00:23:16,440 This is an informal... 525 00:23:16,440 --> 00:23:17,920 ..whatever this is. 526 00:23:17,920 --> 00:23:20,080 My apologies. I'll rephrase. 527 00:23:20,080 --> 00:23:22,560 And for those present, would you please state 528 00:23:22,560 --> 00:23:24,880 what you are not, Terry? 529 00:23:24,880 --> 00:23:28,240 I am not a client of Gruber & Associates. 530 00:23:28,240 --> 00:23:29,920 ROZ: Thank you. Helen? 531 00:23:29,920 --> 00:23:33,600 I also am not a client of Gruber... 532 00:23:33,600 --> 00:23:35,240 ROZ: Pitchpipe, pitchpipe. ..& As... 533 00:23:35,240 --> 00:23:37,200 Yep. Sorry. 534 00:23:37,200 --> 00:23:39,960 (BLOWS PITCHPIPE) 535 00:23:39,960 --> 00:23:41,800 # Bwa # Ah 536 00:23:41,800 --> 00:23:43,600 # Bwa... # Ah... 537 00:23:43,600 --> 00:23:45,760 # Bwa... # (BLOWS PITCHPIPE) 538 00:23:45,760 --> 00:23:48,080 # Bap-ba-dap 539 00:23:48,080 --> 00:23:51,200 # Da-da-dap Mmm, doo, da-da-dap 540 00:23:51,200 --> 00:23:53,040 # Mmm, doo, da-da-dap 541 00:23:53,040 --> 00:23:55,400 # Mmm, doo, da-da, da-da, da-da... # 542 00:23:55,400 --> 00:23:56,880 (WOMEN SNAP FINGERS) (BLOWS PITCHPIPE) 543 00:23:56,880 --> 00:24:01,040 # Her love shines over my horizon 544 00:24:01,040 --> 00:24:03,920 # She's a slice of heaven 545 00:24:03,920 --> 00:24:08,280 # Warm moonlight over my horizon 546 00:24:08,280 --> 00:24:11,480 # She's a slice of heaven... # (BLOWS PITCHPIPE) 547 00:24:11,480 --> 00:24:15,120 # Her love shines over my horizon 548 00:24:15,120 --> 00:24:17,800 # She's a slice of heaven... # 549 00:24:17,800 --> 00:24:19,240 Everyone. 550 00:24:19,240 --> 00:24:23,080 # Warm moonlight over my horizon 551 00:24:23,080 --> 00:24:27,160 # She's a slice of heaven... # (BLOWS PITCHPIPE CONTINUOUSLY) 552 00:24:27,160 --> 00:24:30,160 # Ooh... # 553 00:24:30,160 --> 00:24:32,520 (BLOWS PITCHPIPE CONTINUOUSLY) 554 00:24:34,320 --> 00:24:35,960 (WOMEN LAUGH) 555 00:24:35,960 --> 00:24:39,960 That, sir, is the work I've been doing. (LAUGHS) 556 00:24:39,960 --> 00:24:41,680 Well, thank you, ladies. 557 00:24:41,680 --> 00:24:43,760 That was not only unexpected... ROZ: Mmm! 558 00:24:43,760 --> 00:24:45,640 ..but also a complete waste of my time. 559 00:24:45,640 --> 00:24:47,600 Oh. Terry, sorry for your loss. 560 00:24:47,600 --> 00:24:51,400 Ray, you couldn't just call me, explain what happened? 561 00:24:51,400 --> 00:24:53,080 Sorry, mate. You know what she's like. 562 00:24:53,080 --> 00:24:55,640 I'm too busy for this sort of shit. I know. I know you are. 563 00:24:55,640 --> 00:24:58,120 Thank you for coming in. I really appreciate it, Terry. 564 00:24:58,120 --> 00:25:01,400 So the Sondheim's definitely in and so's the Jesus Christ... 565 00:25:01,400 --> 00:25:03,600 She forgot to breathe! I can't get any air. 566 00:25:03,600 --> 00:25:06,920 I can't get any air. Here, here. Here. 567 00:25:10,920 --> 00:25:14,160 (SIGHS) 568 00:25:16,040 --> 00:25:19,720 (KNOCKS ON DOOR) Alice Pike is here to sign some paperwork. 569 00:25:19,720 --> 00:25:21,800 No, I don't want to see her. Get Ray to do it. 570 00:25:21,800 --> 00:25:24,400 He's not here. Check the...stationery cupboard. 571 00:25:24,400 --> 00:25:26,040 Checked it. He's not there. 572 00:25:26,040 --> 00:25:29,160 Oh. Ooh! Ooh! You know where he would be? 573 00:25:29,160 --> 00:25:30,640 (CAR DOOR OPENS) 574 00:25:30,640 --> 00:25:32,120 (PERSON SITS DOWN) 575 00:25:32,120 --> 00:25:33,600 (CAR DOOR SLAMS) (GASPS) 576 00:25:33,600 --> 00:25:35,080 ALICE: Well, this is sad. 577 00:25:38,200 --> 00:25:39,600 (BELL RINGS) 578 00:25:40,600 --> 00:25:42,080 HELEN: Hi there. WOMAN: Hi. 579 00:25:42,080 --> 00:25:44,280 I just wanted to return these books, please. I, um... 580 00:25:44,280 --> 00:25:45,880 Got the receipt there? Yeah. 581 00:25:45,880 --> 00:25:48,240 I bought them by accident. So... 582 00:25:49,360 --> 00:25:50,840 Is that hummus? 583 00:25:50,840 --> 00:25:52,760 Well, I don't think so. 584 00:25:52,760 --> 00:25:54,520 I can't take these back. They're filthy. 585 00:25:54,520 --> 00:25:57,240 Well, I can't read them. They're impenetrable. 586 00:26:02,400 --> 00:26:04,080 RAY: So, what did we think? 587 00:26:04,080 --> 00:26:06,320 Did anyone else get the sense that the Shroud 588 00:26:06,320 --> 00:26:09,720 was like a metaphor for the sins of man? 589 00:26:09,720 --> 00:26:11,200 No, mate. I thought it was shit. 590 00:26:11,200 --> 00:26:13,160 Thought we were doing the book about the cuckold. 591 00:26:13,160 --> 00:26:14,440 I thought there'd be snacks. 592 00:26:15,840 --> 00:26:17,480 Shall we go to the pub? 593 00:26:17,480 --> 00:26:19,160 OTHERS: Yep. Yep. Yep? Leave those. 594 00:26:19,160 --> 00:26:21,640 I'll whack 'em in recycling. 595 00:26:33,600 --> 00:26:36,240 Captions by Red Bee Media 596 00:26:36,240 --> 00:26:38,880 Copyright Australian Broadcasting Corporation 43796

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