Original subtitles

Downloaded from YTS.MX

Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX

- [Abe] Where should we go after this?

- We should go make out.

[camera clicks]

[camera clicks]

- Is this thing broken?

- What's happening?

It says no standing.

Is that why?

[upbeat rock music]

This shit is so good.

- Argh!

[camera clicks]

[upbeat rock music]

- Ice cream, ice cream, I want ice cream.

[Jen chuckles]

[camera clicks]

[upbeat music]

[camera clicks]

- Which one for a pour over?

[Jen gagging]

- Avocado everything.

[Jen laughing]

[camera clicks]

[camera clicks]

[upbeat rock music]

Drinking at the zoo. - Drinking at the zoo.

♪ Drinking at the zoo

- How you liking the zoo, boo?

- I'm just, I'm not feeling great, maybe we don't record.

- Zoo boo.

♪ Are batshit crazy

Good morning.

- Can you not fucking record right now?

- Cute.

- No, no not cute, stop.

- Okay.

Guys, I'm about to ask my boyfriend, Abe Schatz to marry me.

I know it's a little unconventional,

a woman asking a man, but I'm a boss bitch.

So that's what I'm gonna do.

I'm in his bungalow right now while he's at work

and I'm gonna ask him in the coolest way.

I can't wait for you to see.

Marry me on a vegan, gluten-free pizza.

[Jen laughs]

Woohoo.

This is actually Abe's hot sauce, Shmooly.

It's his company.

It's almost a company.

We've got champagne.

We're gonna surprise the heck out of him.

I just got the text.

Abe's on his way.

He'll be here in like ten minutes.

Yeah!

[door clicks]

[Abe mumbling]

- Hey.

- Hi! - What's up, how are you doing?

- Welcome home.

[Abe and Jen kisses]

How are you?

- I'm good.

Traffic was kind of a beast.

Oh, got me there. - Yeah?

Always is.

Did you eat?

I got you pizza.

I did, we had nachos.

Three of us. - No!

- Went to the wine bar where I work.

- Aw, that's fun.

Just one.

- No, not right now. - It's gluten free, vegan.

- Little bit later.

Let's just keep it there.

- Please?

- Like one?

[Jen laughs] In a little bit,

in a little bit.

- I've been here waiting for you.

I got champagne, and your sauce is out.

Just have one.

Just have a bite.

- Okay, all right. - Just have a bite.

[box creaking]

- Hmm.

[box taps]

Is this, are you serious?

Oh my God, you got the ring.

Yes of course. [Jen stutters]

- No, no, yes.

I absolutely wanna marry you.

I absolutely wanna marry you.

[lips smacks]

Now, come here.

I'm sorry I hesitated. - Okay.

- Oh.

Yes.

- It's yes? - Yes, of course, of course.

[Abe and Jen kissing]

- He said yes!

Okay, so you just have to be used to having a camera on you

and not get weird. - Yeah.

- Be okay with it.

- I'm not hating being on camera,

it just makes me act a little different.

I get a little bit more in my head.

Even just now.

I'm sorry I couldn't cum.

I really wanted to.

You had me there but I just couldn't do it.

I feel bad.

- I'm not upset about it.

- I know, I just feel bad that I couldn't make it happen.

I was almost there and then it was just like,

nope, not gonna happen.

- You made me squirt

so I'm fine. - I love making you squirt.

It's one of my favorite joys in life making you squirt.

- Should we have this be the start of our engagement video?

[horns booming]

So I grew up in Phoenix, Arizona, and I spend a lot of time

with my favorite people, my grandparents.

They actually met in Vegas before they got married,

so they'd like to take road trips and bring me along.

And it was my favorite place.

We'd lounge by the pool, go to all the buffets.

My grandma was really into gambling.

Abe and I have never been before

so I'm gonna take him and show him all my favorite places.

I'm really excited.

Yeah, what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.

Peter, so I'm thinking,

if you can just try to get everything,

as much as you can,

the ups, the downs, whatever.

What I'm trying to do with this is actually,

make the craziest, best, wedding documentary possible.

Abe doesn't really know this so just [clicks tongue] okay.

But I know I'm just a production coordinator at work,

but I really like being on camera, I like directing,

I'm trying to get out of that.

You know what I mean?

Yeah, I want this to be legit.

The ups and downs.

Just all the things you don't usually see, you know?

Okay, good.

Don't say anything.

Check this out.

[Jen laughs]

#SCHATZAMORE.

Abe is gonna dig that one.

It's really hard coming up with a hashtag.

Look, he's gonna be a mime.

[Jen laughs]

Now to figure out what I'm gonna wear

to go out, to go with Abe's outfits.

How ho do I go?

You know what I mean?

- [Peter] We're doing this.

- Yeah, this is Peter.

What's up? I've heard so much about you.

- [Peter] I've heard so much about you.

- Ugh.

- [Peter] Congratulations on the engagement.

Thanks man, thanks. - You fired up?

I am yeah.

I wasn't so sure what to make about this.

Like her bringing a cameraman in

and having cameras in my face and all

but it's cool.

- [Peter] Dude we're gonna

have so much fun.

- Getting this hot sauce company off the ground.

- [Peter] Goodness.

- It's kind of a name for a jerk.

It's like a Yiddish, Jewish jerk sorta name.

I just thought it would be funny.

I don't know what you eat or can't eat but it's good.

Let's get this going.

Let's do it. - Let's do it.

- Let's make this happen, yeah.

- You're so cute.

[lips smacking]

I have to cover up my kombucha rash.

- Are they adding stuff to the kombucha?

- I'm guessing it's from kombucha.

This is Grams' ring. - This is the ring.

Grams is not playing around with this ring.

- I know, look at that. - Grams gave her this ring.

- It's vintage, it's real.

Real deal guys.

I love it.

I love your penis finger pepper.

- What?

Penis finger?

- That's a penis finger.

- First of all, it doesn't go with my yellow.

You're clashing with my yellow.

That's one thing, and I'm kinda set on this shirt.

- Okay, that's actually fair. - Second of all,

it's a freaking product placement, Shmooly Sauce.

It's like a billboard. [Abe breathing heavily]

- What should I wear?

I mean, I have all my other stuff in the car.

- Your dark gray would go good with this.

- Dark gray?

- Yeah.

- Okay, we'll look like a--

- Let me direct.

Thank you, I love you.

- Okay, I love you too.

[gentle music]

Yeah, we're celebrating. - [Cashier] Congratulations.

- Not yet.

- We're about to be getting married.

We're celebrating our engagement.

- It's for the engagement.

- We're going to Vegas.

- [Cashier] How fun, lucky you.

- Thank you.

- I'm gonna go use the bathroom, then I'll be ready to go.

Number one!

- [Peter] How do you feel so far?

- You're doing good.

- [Peter] Yeah?

- You're getting a lot of stuff.

- [Peter] I'm getting everything.

- He's very clearly anxious on camera.

[potato chip crunches]

He couldn't drive and talk at the same time.

It was making me so scared.

Maybe he'll warm up soon.

It takes a little time to get used to it.

Here he comes.

Come on, we're ready!

We're ready, we're ready for you!

- [Peter] Oh my God, who waves like that?

- I think it's because I was doing it.

- [Peter] Yeah, good save. - Come on!

[gentle music]

♪ Tell me that you love me

♪ Even when I think the silly things ♪

♪ I never was a gambler

♪ But I know when to bet on a sure thing ♪

[camera clicks]

[camera clicks]

[camera clicks]

[camera clicks]

[camera clicks]

- Definitely, communication is the number one.

Never go to bed angry. - Honesty,

we're all about honesty.

Honesty is our big thing.

- High five on that. - Yes, everything.

- It's gonna work boo.

It's gonna work. - Thank you.

I wish you nothing but the best.

You guys are a cute couple. - [Abe] Thank you so much.

- And I'm so glad to meet you guys, enjoy every last moment.

- That's so sweet of you.

- It is definitely a blessing. It really is.

Don't let nobody tell you anything negative about marriage.

- Thank you.

- It's work but it's very--

It's work but it's a great experience

if you're with the person that you need to be with.

You feel what I'm saying? - I do.

- [Peter] One, two, three.

- [Everyone] Schatzamore!

- I love Eddie World, this is amazing.

It's too bright.

I can't see if this looks good or not.

- [Peter] What's going on back there?

- He's kinda yelling.

- [Peter] Who is he talking to?

- He's talking to Victor, that's his investor.

The guy that's giving him all the money for the hot sauce.

I don't really like this guy.

Oh my gosh.

Hey babe.

- He's out.

Victor pulled out, whole thing.

- What?

- Yeah, no.

30 grand, I asked if he could put fifteen in.

He's out.

- Honey.

[Abe sighs]

Okay hey, hey.

Don't, we're in this together, we're gonna figure it out.

[gentle music]

Shatzamore. - Shatzamore.

- It's the best hashtag any wedding has ever seen.

- #SHATZAMORE.

Let's do it.

- Okay.

[gentle music]

Shatzamore! - Shatzamore!

[camera clicks]

[gentle music]

[camera clicks]

[camera clicks]

[gentle music]

[car beeps]

- Whoo! - Yeah!

- Vegas!

- We're here! [Jen laughing]

- You're so white and cute. - Sorry, I'm so stupid.

Aww thank you.

[Abe laughs]

- I love that.

I'm so glad that all of this is being filmed.

- This is crazy.

- Are you freaking out?

- No, I am excited.

[Jen laughing] I think this is amazing.

I just need to take some ibuprofen, get a little CBD,

we'll chill out for a bit and then-

- You're so stressed all the time.

- I'm not stressed, I'm not stressed.

- You're like, "I'm really excited, I'm really happy.

"I just need to take some CBD oil and some ibuprofen."

- No, I'm just feeling a lot of things right now.

It's like 98% amazing.

I just got the--

- [Jen] I know--

- The Victor stuff is kinda in my brain

but I'm trying to compartmentalize.

- Let's make a fuck Victor video

and just send it off to him?

How do I look lit by the Vegas lights?

- [Abe] You look beautiful.

- With my ring?

Grams would be so proud.

[jazz music]

♪ Bang that drum and let's get on with this ♪

♪ Fire that shot

♪ I like you a lot

♪ Fly that dove, it's time we fell in love ♪

[jazz music]

[Jen laughing]

Zoom in on this.

[hiphop music in the background]

- [Abe] Oh shit, nice.

What you doing?

- Making you a beverage.

Cheers.

- [Abe] Cheers.

- Welcome to Vegas, babe.

- [Abe] Yeah, this is your spot.

- Before we get outta here, we can,

do something with the camera off.

Take off your robe.

Get naked.

- [Abe] Naked time is happening now.

- Do it!

Stop the camera.

- [Abe] I'm doing it.

It's coming off.

Dick is coming out.

[hip-hop music]

[gentle music]

♪ I thought that love was just some stuff ♪

♪ Some stuff of which I had enough ♪

♪ I thought I'd be thrilled

♪ Just to be filled

♪ With spirits spilled from a cup ♪

♪ Took time to discover

♪ From one night to another

- You're so tall in these heels.

- I know.

- I love it, sort of.

- Yeah, you look small.

- I'm like all small now. [Jen laughing]

- Is everything okay?

On the phone you looked a little worried.

- Yeah, all-

Okay, let's get the photo stuff.

[camera clicks]

[camera clicks]

[camera clicks]

- Are you sure you're okay?

You all right?

- Stop, calm down. - Okay, okay.

All right.

I'm sorry that I can't control my--

I don't know.

I've got like no control down there.

I'm sorry.

- Babe, I don't care about how fast you cum.

Don't stress about it. - Okay.

Are you okay? - I'm not thinking about it.

- That's not why you're upset?

[camera clicks]

[camera clicks]

[camera clicks]

[camera clicks]

Did something happen on that call?

- Yeah.

[camera clicks]

[camera clicks]

It's really annoying

that you always think it's about you cumming too soon

or too not soon enough.

- Well you said it's not about that

so what's going on? - I know.

- Can you just--

- Can we just do the photos and the video please?

- I just wanna know why you're kind of in a mood.

- God, you're being so selfish.

- How am I being selfish?

I'm asking about you.

- My Grams just got taken to the hospital.

- Grams is in the hospital?

- Yes!

- What happened?

- Stop.

- What do you wanna do?

- Just!

Are we good here?

[camera clicks]

[camera clicks]

[camera clicks]

- Grams had a stroke?

- Yeah.

- Because grandpa had a stroke too

which is really fucked up.

- Do they know how bad it was yet?

- She fell.

They're X-raying to see if she broke her hip.

- Holy shit.

- Yeah.

- So sorry about everything with Grams.

It's so awful.

Do you want a drink?

- You should hold on to that one.

- Yeah. - Yes, I agree.

She's great.

Do you want me to get like the biggest tequilas

that I can find?

- Yeah. - Okay.

Just hold on for a second. [lips smacking]

Just stay here.

- They're gonna do surgery tomorrow.

See if she makes it.

- We don't have to do anything else tonight.

We don't have to keep recording.

We don't have to do anything.

Just tell me what I can do.

- Let's try to make the most of this.

- Yeah.

[Abe gulps]

When my grandfather fell and broke his hip,

it was not good.

He died like six weeks later.

It was bad.

I'm sorry, no I didn't mean it like that.

I just wanted to-

[Abe sighs]

That's what happened.

I think everything could be different with Grams.

- Why would you say that? [Jen sobbing]

- No, no, I didn't mean it like that.

I didn't mean it like that. [Jen sobbing]

I just--

Grams is gonna be fine, Grams is gonna be fine.

I promise Grams is gonna be fine.

I mean, I can't promise that,

but I really hope Grams is gonna be fine.

- You're not helping.

We're gonna have the best content.

It's gonna be so good,

it's gonna be so good.

Me and Peter,

we're gonna start a production company.

- Cheers to that.

- Cheers.

- [Peter] You guys look beautiful.

- Thank you.

- You're beautiful, my friend.

Oh.

- This place fucking sucks.

- I know, all these people around here.

- Just a bunch of douchers.

- Yeah.

- Fucking idiots.

- Idiots.

[Abe and Jen kissing]

Chug. - Chug this shit.

- Chug it. - Chug it.

- To Grams.

- To Grams, to Grams' speedy recovery.

[Abe and Jen kissing]

- To Grams, to Grams.

Oh, I love Grams so much.

I hope she's okay.

- Grams is gonna be fine.

Don't worry about Grams, she's gonna be--

She's a trooper.

Everything you told me about Grams is just amazing.

- Let's go.

Let's get the fuck outta here.

- Grams is amazing,

she's gonna be so good. - Let's go babe.

- Come on here.

Let me help you up.

- Let's go. - Come on, let's go.

- Peter, good night. - Ah, shit.

Shit shit shit. - Oh, God.

- Sorry about that.

No, no it's all empty.

- Okay I got it.

Where are you going?

- Let's go this way.

♪ Though I'm tanked as a fish

♪ And I'm buzzed, bombed and blitzed ♪

♪ I found love really exists

♪ I found love when we kissed

♪ It must be love or else I'm drunk ♪

♪ These foolish, fleeting thoughts I've thunk ♪

♪ Must be a dream, those lips I've kissed ♪

♪ Though I'm tanked as a fish

♪ And I'm buzzed, bombed and blitzed ♪

♪ I've found love really exists ♪

♪ I found love when we kissed

[Jen laughs]

- I'm feeling lame for being in the hotel room

in Vegas at 10 o'clock at night.

We're old now.

Who's that hot woman with that old Jewish complaining man?

What else?

What else is it?

- Can you just promise me that whatever happens between us,

I just always want us to be friends.

I can't predict the future, I can't predict...

- What are you talking about?

Why are you trying--

What are you doing?

- I'm not doing anything.

I'm just--

- Wake up.

- Why are you all mad?

- Because you just became my fiance

and you just told me that whatever happens let's be friends.

I don't wanna be your friend, we're gonna get married.

- No I'm just saying like, I don't know what I'm saying.

I'm sorry.

- What are you not being honest about?

You're not telling--

- We were just chilling.

How did this get all weird?

- You made it fucking weird.

You're gonna tell me tomorrow.

Whatever you're not telling me.

[Jen snoring]

- Do you want me to make you squirt?

- Stop.

Stop.

- I'm sorry.

♪ With you I could stay far beyond ♪

♪ When the dawn greets the day

♪ It won't be just another jump in the hay ♪

[Peter knocks]

[door squeaks]

- Good morning!

[Jen laughs]

Welcome, you ready for a big exciting day on The Strip?

Abe is back here.

Abe, say hi!

We've got a busy day planned.

I don't wanna say too much about it

because I want it to be exciting.

But we're gonna get some photos sent to Grams.

Don't let me forget, okay?

- No, of course not.

- Gotta send Grams some photos.

Yeah, hope you're ready to...

Mmh.

[door slams]

[Jen knocking]

Abe.

Abe!

[Jen knocking]

- [Abe] It'll just be a second.

- We gotta get going babe. We got a lot to do today.

Come on buddy.

[Jen knocks]

- [Abe] I hear you.

Just give me a sec.

- What are you doing right now?

We have to get all this done.

You're hiding in the bathroom.

- I'm not hiding.

I'm finding all this really invasive right now.

- Does this have something to do

with what you said last night?

About us just being friends? - Oh God.

I'm not saying anything about us just being friends.

I was kind of fucked up when we had that conversation.

- So we're gonna talk about this.

Hey, we're just gonna be honest.

This is part of the process.

Let's just be honest with me here.

- It's about us and I would rather it not be on camera.

- Oh it's gonna be on camera.

[Abe sighs] Come on.

- Can you just let me have a second here?

Can you just? - What are you gonna do?

What do you need a second for?

Come on, let's go in the other room.

- I just need to wash my face.

Just give me a second.

- Two minutes.

Let's go in there.

Re-set for some good lighting, okay?

- We're really doing this?

- Yes.

- We gotta get this on camera?

- Yes.

You'll be glad you did later.

- Okay.

- Just be honest with me and tell me what's going on.

- The night when you proposed to me.

- Yeah.

- You know I came back a little bit late from work.

- Abe? - Okay.

- A bunch of us went out to get drinks at the wine bar,

and we got snacks and--

- Right.

- I got a ride back to the office.

This was around like 5 o'clock.

- Who gave you a ride back?

- This woman I work with, her name is Murni.

We'd had a few drinks. - Murni?

- Murni is her name.

She is Indonesian.

It's a common name in Indonesia.

I wasn't expecting this to happen but she kissed me.

And I let it go on for a few seconds.

- A few seconds?

- Yeah.

- So you kissed her back?

- You could say that, I did.

- How many seconds?

How many seconds?

- I wasn't clocking it.

I don't know.

But that's all that happened.

We kissed. She kissed me. - Did you guys have sex?

- We did not have sex. We kissed, that's it.

And it's been--

- How drunk were you?

You didn't seem drunk when you came home.

- I was buzzed.

I had a few drinks.

I was feeling--

- You didn't seem drunk at all.

You didn't seem buzzed when you walked in the door.

- Well that was two and a half, three hours later.

I waited.

I had a couple things I had to transcode.

- What did you do in that three hours?

So you--

- I had footage.

I still had to transcode.

It was my last day, I had to make sure all

of it was taken care of before I headed out.

I wasn't expecting you to propose to me that night.

I've been carrying this on my shoulders.

Like literally I've been carrying this

on my shoulders. - I wanna know more of--

Was there tongue?

- No, I feel so bad about this.

When I was driving back I was tearing up.

I felt so bad.

- This is so embarrassing.

- Yeah it is embarrassing that we have cameras rolling

and you wanted me to tell you this like this.

- Well if you wouldn't have made our with Murni.

Murni!

- I'm so sorry.

I'm really sorry.

- If you feel like I'm a piece of shit

and you just don't wanna go on.

- I what?

- I don't know what I'm saying.

- What did you just say? - I feel so--

- What did you just say?

- I feel fucking horrible about it.

I've been holding this on to me this entire time and--

- Just stop, just stop.

- I don't know what you want me to do or say

but you want it on camera so-- - Just shut up.

- There you go.

[Abe sighs]

Fuck.

- Okay, so I'm thinking we do the flamingo shirts first

and we can do the Paris stuff afterwards.

So if you just wanna get this on for me.

- Babe I'm so sorry.

No, I just feel like such a fuck up.

I don't--

- It's fine, let's just--

- I feel like I ruined the trip.

- Just put on the shirt. - I wanted to sit--

- Just put on the shirt please.

- In my mind it was just a kiss.

- Stop. - I'd--

- Okay, all right.

Let's go do this.

- Thank you.

- All right.

- Okay?

- Okay.

- Get excited.

- I'm excited.

[gentle music]

♪ Some days are hard

♪ It's other days are harder to forget ♪

♪ About the things that you've done ♪

- I just don't want it to be something--

- Just stop right now. - I just don't want this--

- Is this your first time to our habitat?

- Yes.

- Yeah, oh cool.

- Where's home?

where you from?

- L.A.

- L.A.

- I've got a whole bunch

of them in here

so just be careful. - Oh my God.

- Different variations, from different--

- [Abe and Jen] Whoah!

- That's so sweet.

- It's much darker and lighter.

- That's so sweet of you. - Then some--

- Thank you!

You're awesome! - Thank you so much.

Babe, flamingo feathers.

I just lost one. - You just lost a feather?

- Yeah, it went back in the-- - Babe, stop!

- We got like 30 of them in there.

- She just went and got these for us.

[camera clicks]

[soft music]

- Which is your favorite one?

- Do you have a favorite?

- Tika.

- Which one's Tika?

- And Delilah.

- Nice.

I don't wanna drop this bird.

I don't wanna kill this bird.

That one's good.

- That one's really good.

Because your face is all stupid.

- We'll take the one where the green bird is kissing her.

- [Woman] All right.

[Jen laughing]

[camera clicks]

- This is a good call coming here.

- This was a hotspot for Gram and Gramps.

- These ducks are so cute too.

Look at that one over there,

with the little orange beak.

This wasn't full-on cheating.

This was just a quick thing that happened.

- Okay, it was just a kiss?

You promise it was just a kiss?

- Mmm hmm, yeah.

- Swear.

- I swear it was just a kiss.

- And you promise that you don't have something for her?

- No.

No, no, no, no, no, no.

No no no.

- Tell me that you're sorry,

that it's not gonna happen again,

and we can move on.

It was just a kiss.

- Babe, I'm so sorry.

Nothing like this is ever gonna happen again.

- Tell me that you don't have a thing for her.

- I don't have a thing for her at all.

Not at all. - Okay.

Okay, good.

- You're the one that I want.

[birds chirping]

[lips smacking]

- So my favorite movies are French New Wave

like Godard and Truffaut.

So we're gonna make.

- Is it on my beard?

- Yeah, it looks really bad.

All right, okay. [Jen laughing]

How long is this gonna take?

- I don't know, I still gotta put on the eyes

and the lipstick.

- Lipstick?

- Oh yeah, lipstick.

Oops!

- Lovely, ugh. - Oh God.

Don't eat it, don't eat it.

- We are gonna be in public, like this.

Wow. [Jen laughing]

I would be the worst drag queen.

- Let me see your teeth.

[Abe growls]

You'd be a great drag queen.

What are you talking about?

You're doing a great job.

- Oh, thank you.

- He's all mime. - Mime.

[Peter laughing]

Nice, nice move.

- Thank you.

- All right, now we're wearing makeup.

- We're out in public doing it.

- We're out in public.

We're doing it.

[Abe and Jen laughing]

Shit got weird.

[rock music]

[camera clicks]

[camera clicks]

♪ Rev it up all night

♪ Staring out my little window

[camera clicks]

♪ Running on synthetic

♪ I've been talking to my shadow ♪

♪ Get down

♪ Hallelujah

- Well, one of us looks pretty good.

- [Abe] I look like I shouldn't be around kids.

[Jen laughs]

- You do.

[jazz music]

There's no drinking on the boat.

- No drinking

on the gondola. - We gotta chug.

[Jen and Abe humming]

Shut up.

- Assholes on a boat. - He's wasted.

- Assholes on a boat.

- White girl wasted.

[Gondolier singing]

- Oh.

- Your dad messaged you.

- I see that, thank you.

- You told him about Grams, right?

- Don't bring this up right now.

- No I just, I don't know.

- He already knows.

- I don't wanna leave your dad hanging

if he's trying to reach you. - Stop.

Stop it. - Okay, okay.

[jazz music]

- [Peter] What's up with Jen?

- I don't know.

Her dad was really bothering her on the gondola ride.

Texted her like four times.

She and her Grams are so close

and now Grams is not in a good place.

- No.

- [Abe] Shit.

- You're making things really,

really petty. - You want something from in there?

Maybe some ice cream or something.

- [Peter] Do they have sorbet?

- [Abe] They do. [Jen mumbling]

[head thuds]

[Jen crying]

- What's going on?

- She's bleeding profusely - Oh no, oh my God.

and she's in a coma.

[sad music]

♪ Some days I feel we've got it ♪

♪ Yet other days I feel you're not it ♪

♪ Yet some days are worse

♪ Some days are better than others ♪

♪ Some days I feel we've got it ♪

♪ Some days I fear you're not it ♪

- Mmm.

- Not bad.

- It's really good.

- Yeah.

My hands.

- It's chilly outside.

It's a lot better in here.

- I mean, if you call this better.

- Question.

- What?

- What is a conditional will?

I'm not familiar with that term.

- Conditional will?

- Yeah, what is a conditional will?

- Where are you getting that from?

- I saw your dad texted you, he's been trying to reach you,

and the last text that came through,

said he wanted to talk about a conditional will ASAP.

- Why are you looking at my phone?

- It was right there.

It was on the bed. - Like a creep.

- I saw it.

Like a creep?

Baby.

- Why are you looking at my phone?

Also, let me handle my stuff myself please.

I'll call my dad, I'll deal with it.

- Why are you being all secretive?

I'm just curious.

- It feels a little weird that you would be obsessing

over a will that has to do with me

and money and my family's situation

when my Grams is about to die.

- Whoa, whoa whoa whoa.

- This is stuff I need to talk to my family about.

- No, no, no.

I'm trying to be open and authentic and honest.

This is not a contentious thing at all.

I wanna know what's going on in your life

and you're shutting me out.

That's how it feels.

You want me to open up entirely and you're shutting me out.

It feels shitty.

It feels really shitty.

Can you just tell me what's going on, please?

- Fine, you promise not to freak out?

- Should I?

- I don't know. - Why would I freak out?

- We'll see what you do.

- Why would I freak out? - I don't know.

It's a little bit of a weird situation.

Do you wanna hear it?

All right, let's do it, on camera, let's go.

Set up for another shot.

It's shitty in here.

- Peter, are you getting the beach club?

[bird chirping]

I love it.

- Go ahead.

It's okay, come on up. - It's all good.

- It's all right.

We're just having a revelatory moment here.

[Chuckles]

- Okay, so, my Grams and I had a special bond.

We had a lot in common.

She and I are way closer than she was to my cousins.

She knew I was a wild child.

She had kind of the same experience with depression

and not getting married till later

and she wanted to be married by age 30.

And so she basically said that I would get some extra money

if I was married by 30.

- Some extra money.

So how much money are you talking about?

- That's the conditional will.

- Okay.

So you get more money than the rest of you family

if you get married by 30?

- Yes, but she has to die before the money happens

which is why I'm getting all these phone calls

from my dad.

- So you're incentivized to get married by 30?

- But that has nothing to do

with why I asked you to marry me.

I want to marry you.

I wanna be with you.

- Why are you even saying that?

That's a weird thing to say.

I mean, I didn't doubt that.

I wanna know about the conditions of the will.

- I just told you.

- How much money is this?

- Well, I'm not gonna say that on camera.

- Why not? - That's like insane.

- We're being authentic, we're being raw,

we're being honest.

Why don't you say what it is?

- They're just people.

People are going by.

We're in a public space. - Yeah, I don't care.

- People are gonna walk by.

How much are you set to inherit?

I'm just curious.

Is this something that's--

- I'll talk to you about it when we're not on camera.

- You're acting really strange.

- No, I'm not.

I'm not gonna tell people what my blood type is on camera.

- How much money is it? - Or what's in my account.

- Why don't you just tell me how much money it is. - No!

I'll tell you when we're on our own.

Why are you obsessing?

Now it sounds like you want my money.

Now that's what it sounds like.

- I feel a lot of tension in my neck.

I'm gonna go stretch out.

You and the cameraman can have fun making your reality show.

- Yeah, we will.

- [Abe] Bye dude.

- It's gonna be a hit!

- [Abe] Weird!

- Don't, what are you doing?

[birds chirping]

[upbeat music]

Fucking key.

[door clicks]

What are you doing?

- Just doing stretches.

- Why'd you leave me down there?

[door bangs]

- Because my back and neck are bothering me

and there's nothing else to say.

- I think there are other things to say.

You're being a jerk.

- How am I being a jerk?

You're not being honest with me.

You want me to be totally honest and raw with you

and you're being hypocritical.

It's not cool.

- How am I not being honest?

I just told you everything.

- How much money are you set to inherit?

- Oh my God, the amount of money.

There's a reason why people don't talk about numbers

of how much money they have on camera.

Hello, everyone that wins the lottery,

they fucking die.

People murder them.

- You want me to act really authentic,

you want me to act very honest,

and then I'm asking you to be clear with me

and you're not being.

- Well, fine. We'll just cut this part out.

It's three million.

- You're gonna inherit $3,000,000?

- Yeah.

- If you get married by 30 when Grams dies.

- If Grams dies, yeah.

- It's not that much money.

- $3,000,000 is a lot of money!

- No, it's not.

- That's like 30 years of a person with a good salary.

How's that not,

in what world is that not a lot of money?

- That's like enough to buy a house in our neighborhood

and go on some cruises.

- What are you talking about?!

- It sounds like you care about money a lot right now.

- I care about you being honest with me.

You're gonna inherit $3,000,000?

When were you gonna tell me this?

- I don't know.

I didn't wanna think about Grams dying, that's for sure.

I don't know.

- How am I supposed to feel about this?

It's got me feeling like--

- That's not why I asked you to marry me, okay?

- Well, it feels like it's awfully convenient

that you want me to marry you now.

I don't know.

- No, babe.

You know I'm a boss bitch, okay?

- What are you talking about?

- I go after what I want.

I asked you to marry me because I want you to be my husband.

Are you just playing to the camera right now?

- Can you just be honest with me?

Are you playing a character "Jen"

or are you actually Jen right now?

- Excuse me.

I asked you to-- - Do you even wanna marry me?

Do you actually wanna marry me,

or do you wanna get money?

- I did!

I don't know.

I'm not really sure.

This from the guy who fucking cheated on me!

- I didn't cheat on you!

Someone kissed me.

- And you weren't honest about that.

- I've been totally honest with you about all of that.

- You've been 100% honest with me?

I don't know if I buy that.

I bet there's something else going on.

- You know what, my back and neck--

- I'd like to know more about this Murni person.

- I'm going to get some ice.

I'm gonna get some ice. - Oh, where are you going?

You're gonna go get some ice? You're gonna walk away again?

Because that's what you do, you just walk away, when--

- Actually, I forgot the ice bucket.

Let me get the ice bucket.

Yeah, I'm walking away because I don't wanna deal with this right now.

- Because you're the honest guy!

The honest guy.

The honest guy. - Yeah, I am the honest guy.

- He walks away!

Anytime he's uncomfortable!

- Oh my God, grow up! - Honest guy!

So totally honest!

[door bangs]

I want you to show me her Instagram.

- Oh, come on.

- I wanna see what she looks like.

Here.

- This woman right here, in the center.

- What?!

Okay, well I'm a feminist,

so I'm not gonna say anything negative about how she looks.

What it--

Oh my God!

She's in Las Vegas right now?

- She plays poker professionally.

- No no no no no!

- She comes out here like every other weekend.

- First of all, what? - Oh, come on.

- What does it matter?

- Ew, she does all the follow for follow,

tags for likes.

Hashtag sexy.

Hashtag girl.

Ew, Abe. - Okay, come on.

Okay, we don't have much longer.

Let's just go out,

and let's get dressed and get some more content

for our video.

I don't wanna deal with this anymore. - I don't wanna go out.

- This is ridiculous.

[beeping]

This is so ridiculous.

- Yeah, it is ridiculous.

I don't wanna go out tonight. You can go out.

Do your thing.

I don't wanna go out tonight.

- Well, maybe you should go meet up with Ernie, or Murni.

Marnie.

- I'm not trying to meet up with anyone.

I just don't feel like doing this right now.

This is absurd.

- Yeah, go find her.

Ooh, she's at Planet Hollywood like a loser.

Have fun.

- Okay, real mature.

♪ It must be love

♪ Or else I'm drunk

♪ These foolish, fleeting thoughts I've thunk ♪

- Hey guys, here we are on The Strip.

We're headed to The Cosmo.

Let's check out what we've got.

♪ I can't believe how much loving ♪

- I'm out here by myself because my fiance ditched me.

♪ It must be love or else

- Planet Hollywood is to the left. It sounds like a dump to me.

I'm gonna be honest with you.

Big fan of Vegas.

♪ With you I can stay far beyond ♪

- Full of really nice people, you know?

♪ Meets the day

[Jen exhales]

♪ It won't be just another jump in the hay ♪

- Yeah, I love Vegas.

It's really good.

It's great.

Pretty epic bridge that we're on, guys.

It's pretty amazing.

There's Hell's Kitchen.

Huge Gordon Ramsey fan.

- [Man] Hey Jen. - Would bang.

- Hey, what's going on?

- Oh my, Hunter!

[Jen laughs]

- Hey, how are you doing?

- Hi!

- What is this?

- It's been a long time.

- Yeah, yeah.

- Yeah, I'm recording-

It's for my engagement thing.

It's like an engagement video.

- An engagement video?

Yeah. - Awesome.

- How are you?

- Me, I'm great.

I'm running this club, inside the ARIA.

- Really?

- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

- I didn't realize you lived here.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Kind of been doing the investment thing,

kind of been doing that a lot. - You look great.

- Thank you, thank you.

When was the last time I saw you?

- It's been, it was Burning Man.

- Yeah.

[Jen laughing]

Where's your fiance?

You guys are out?

- Oh yeah.

I guess he didn't feel like coming out.

He isn't feeling well.

- In Vegas?

Friday night? I'm gonna do a little show,

for myself.

- By yourself?

- Yeah.

- I'm kinda just chillin', waiting for the club to open.

We could do something.

- Show me around, you know it here.

- You wanna do Vegas? You know I know this place.

- I used to when I was a kid.

I don't know what's going on, show me.

- Let's do it. - Okay.

- This way.

- Cool. You don't mind being filmed, right?

- Yeah.

Uh, sorry. Sorry, sorry.

[rock music]

♪ I found your leaves had fallen ♪

♪ I found your wings are covered ♪

♪ By the sound of starting over ♪

- How long have you been here?

This is such a crazy place to live.

- I know, it's a little nuts.

I'm going through a bit

of a mid-life renaissance?

- Renaissance?

- I worked in finance for a little while

and I just kinda went off the other end.

- Busted out?

- That's when you met me five years ago at Burning Man

and I was sort of at the other end of it.

- You were just coming out of finance?

- Well, I had been on a bit of a sojourn, if you will.

I got some buddies who run this club, help them out.

I made a little bit of money off cryptocurrency.

- Super nerd.

- Yeah, super nerdy. - Good for you.

- And just sort of living the dream. I don't know.

- Cool.

- Yeah.

- Do you ever sleep?

- I sleep all the time between 8 a.m. and 2 p.m.

[Jen laughing]

- That's insane.

- All right.

Have you ever seen the fountain show at the Bellagio?

- It's like my favorite thing.

- No way.

- We can take these outside, right? - Oh yeah.

[soft music]

♪ I found you

- Do you have any coins?

- What?

- So I can throw a coin.

- Coin?

In the water?

You know what?

Today is your lucky day

because someone got a Slurpee at the gas station

and has a Slurpee quarter.

- You got a Slurpee?

- Yeah, blue ice.

- Shh!

- Wait, wait, wait, wait.

What are you gonna wish for?

- Just say, on the count of three say, for Grams.

One, two, three.

Grams! - Grams!

- It went in.

[Jen laughs]

It went in.

[Hunter mumbling] I think that's as long as it goes in.

I think that means something good.

[Jen laughing]

Okay.

- Totally uncool, sorry.

Let's go to the club.

- I was actually really,

I'm so happy I saw you.

I'm so happy I saw you.

Peter, let's go.

- I'm so sorry I did that.

I just was kind of feeling--

- It was really nice.

I have to go.

Peter, come on.

I'll text you or something, okay?

Thank you!

Peter!

[gentle music]

Babe, it's me.

I've just been filming on The Strip

and I'm gonna go over to Fremont Street

and I'm hoping you'll come meet me.

Please.

Maybe like the front entrance.

I can be there in like 45.

I miss you.

Please come meet me.

I love you.

Let's just go.

Let's get a car.

[gentle music]

♪ When the truth gets the best of you ♪

♪ You don't know what to say

♪ All you can do is just run away ♪

♪ When the truth gets the best of you ♪

♪ And lies are all you know

♪ And you have no time to rewrite your wrongs ♪

♪ Was it all of this

♪ To lose it all

♪ Was it all this

♪ To lose it all

♪ When the truth gets the best of you ♪

♪ And you see all you've done

♪ And you have no time to run back home ♪

♪ And you raise your glass to the sky ♪

♪ And see back at all the lies

♪ And we had a good time

♪ Yes she was a good time

♪ Just run away

♪ And don't ask me to stay

♪ 'Cause it won't work anyway

♪ Oh just run away

[Jen laughs]

- When I'm in Vegas I choose Shmooly.

- The official hot sauce of Fremont Street.

♪ Was it always

♪ To lose it all

♪ Was it always

♪ To lose it all

♪ Say what you say

♪ Don't mean a thing

♪ Your empty lies and schemes

♪ Oh yeah

♪ Say what you say

♪ Don't mean a thing

- Great work.

- Mmm hmm.

[Abe's lips smack]

- That was great.

- I can't keep a camera straight.

- Want some help? - Yeah, you can take it.

- Okay.

[Abe sighs]

[Jen laughing]

- That was great.

- You're good.

That was fun, that was fun. - That was good.

That was fun.

- Fremont is fun.

- That was good.

[Abe sighs]

There's one thing I wanted to just run by you.

I think it will kinda put us both at peace.

- What?

- Maybe we just put together a prenup?

Maybe we get a prenuptial agreement?

[Jen laughing] No, serious.

I'm serious.

[Jen laughs]

[Abe chuckles]

- I'm the one that should be asking for a prenup.

- Exactly, I'm thinking about you here.

[Jen laughs]

- Yeah, it's fine.

- We should go back out. - You can go back out.

I'm not going back out.

- You wouldn't wanna get some cigars?

Get some whiskey.

We need to go back out and go to the cigar bar.

- Cigar bar!

- Cigar bar!

Cigar bar!

[lips smacking]

♪ In a world where such treasures are few ♪

♪ I have finally found someone who ♪

♪ Can make me feel amazing

♪ Sets my heart ablazing

♪ You adorable, lovable, wonderful, huggable ♪

♪ You, adorable you

- [Peter] You guys ready?

One, two, three.

- [Everyone] Schatzamore!

- Whooo!

♪ In a world where such treasures are few ♪

♪ I have finally found someone who ♪

- You want pizza right now? We already ate.

I love it. - I'm starving.

- Okay, let's get something else to eat then.

There should be pizza down this way.

We can get it over here.

- Abe!

- Oh, hey.

- It's funny, running into you guys.

- Who the fuck is this guy?

- We're just documenting our trip here to Vegas.

- We talked earlier about this situation.

- I'm Murni, nice to meet you.

- I'm sorry?

- I'm Murni.

- Oh, Murni.

- Yeah.

- Murni.

- Yeah, we used to work together, and yeah.

And you are?

- I'm Abe's fiance, Jen.

- Yeah, we got engaged.

We are documenting our engagement,

we're taking engagement photos around Vegas.

- You're a lot smaller than I thought.

She's really small.

It's nice to meet you.

- Why don't we just keep it moving.

- Can you shut up for a second?

[Abe chuckles]

I have a question for you?

Can you tell me why you would try to kiss my boyfriend

when you know you that he has a girlfriend?

- Let's not do this.

- What?

He told me that you guys kissed.

- This is not the time or place for this. - He told me that--

- Jen, I told you what happened.

- Can you just tell me what happened, please?

Because this has been an issue for us.

I'd like to know, honestly.

- It was nothing.

I mean, we bought a bottle of wine

and we went to his car and we just made out

for like five minutes.

- It wasn't like five minutes.

We made out for like--

- Two minutes, two minutes.

- And?

- It wasn't five minutes.

I mean--

- Is there anything else that happened?

Can you just fucking be honest with me?

This is killing me right now.

Can you just be honest with me?

- You really wanna know?

- Yes.

- I gave him a handjob.

- That's...

Okay, if we're gonna be totally honest,

she gave me a handjob.

- Wait a second.

What kind of slut gives someone a handjob

when you know that he has a girlfriend?

You know that he has a girlfriend?

- I don't even know you exist!

- Let's go, let's go.

- I didn't wanna tell you

because I thought it would not be cool.

Would you rather me have told you?

- Shut up!

Piece of shit.

[Jen breathing heavily]

[jazz music]

- Hey.

Can we talk about this?

- Did you cum?

- Did I cum?

What does that have to do with anything?

- Fucking tell me if you came.

- It doesn't matter if I--

- It does. I wanna know exactly what happened.

You've been lying to me.

I wanna know what happened.

I want a mental picture.

- Okay.

We made out in the car.

- Did you?

- Yes, I came.

What does it matter though?

- Where'd the jizz go?

- What?

- What'd you do with it?

- This is the most important thing to you right now.

Where did the jizz go?

- I wanna see if you can be honest with me. Where did it go?

- She had a shirt or sports bra in the back of her car.

Come on, there's no need to get into that now.

- You lied to me.

You said over and over again it was just a kiss.

Over and over again.

What is wrong with you?

- I didn't expect to have cameras put in my face

and two shots set up grilling me from afar.

Like what the hell?

You want me to tell you about a handjob on camera?

For your show?

I mean, come on.

I'm sorry.

- I can't trust you.

- Well, I can't totally trust you either.

You're set to inherit $3,000,000.

You can't tell me about that?

When were you planning on telling me about that?

- I was gonna tell you!

I don't want my grandma to die.

I don't know what's going on.

- I mean, it feels to me you're just trying to plug someone into your plan

to inherit money when Grams dies.

That's what it feels like.

- I'm not like that. [Jen sobbing]

- That's what it feels like.

- I mean, how do I even know Grams is really sick?

Or is that all a fucking make-believe thing?

Yeah, yeah, how do I know?

[hand smacks]

Ugh, okay.

It's gonna go like that?

That was a shitty slap, by the way.

If you're gonna slap me, why don't you slap me for real?

[Jen sighs] - Fuck!

[Jen breathing heavily]

- I'm keeping my distance.

Can we just talk this out? Please?

- Fuck off.

- Come on.

Can we just talk this out, please?

Come on.

Come on!

- I have more important things to deal with.

- I'm sorry for what I said about Grams.

- I have more important things to deal with than you!

No, it's not fucking fair.

That's not what it says.

That's not what it says.

You can't just do this because--

Holy fuck.

You're so fucked.

[Jen chuckles]

- You all right?

- No, I'm not all right.

- What's--

- That was my dad.

That was my fucking piece of shit dad.

And he is, because grandma can't speak

for herself right now,

he's turning the will into this thing

where he's gonna get the money if I'm not married

by the time she dies.

You see? This is what I've been dealing with.

This is my family, Abe.

- No, no, I'm so sorry

you're dealing with this. - This is my life!

- What do you wanna do?

Just tell me what you wanna do.

- I have to get married.

I have to get married.

He can't do this.

He can't do it.

We have to get married.

[man speaking foreign language]

We have to.

I can't fucking let him do this.

- Okay, then let's go lock down the prenup.

[guitar music]

♪ Comes down like rain

♪ Ashes out the flames

♪ Respirate in vain

♪ Hold me now

♪ It's all right

♪ It's all gonna be all right

- To Grams.

- To Grams!

[glasses clanking]

- To Grams.

- To Grams.

- How old is Grams?

Fuck.

[Abe coughs]

- 81.

[bartender mumbling]

- Oh!

- Thank you!

Thanks.

- 81 is not a bad run.

- Don't fucking do that right now.

- [Abe] Thank you, sir.

- You really gotta work on empathy. [beeping]

- I know, I try. - There's something missing.

- It doesn't come out the way I intended.

- Do you have Asperger's maybe?

- Okay, all right.

- Asperger's or something?

- All right, okay.

- No, really they have like--

- I don't have fucking Asperger's.

- They have a lack of empathy. I just--

- Yeah, no I have a lot of empathy

for everything that you're going through.

- It doesn't feel like it. - Okay.

- It hasn't felt like it.

It was just a sincere question.

- Okay.

I don't even know how to respond to that.

- I mean, it's not that unusual.

- No, I mean,

if this is just gonna be a business arrangement

what do you think is a fair percentage?

- What are you thinking?

- Let me think about that.

I can't really think about that right now.

- We only have to pretend to be a real deal

for like a year. - Where the fuck is my card?

Yeah, you don't wanna,

I don't know.

Maybe your dad wouldn't believe it

if we just got it annulled.

He seems like [Jen mumbles]

that much of a piece of shit.

- He is.

[Jen mumbles]

Okay.

[gentle music]

All right, Abe. Why don't we figure this out?

Come on.

- Are there any places still open to get married now?

I don't even know.

- Well, let's see.

I'm sure that the chapels are open

but we have to actually get a marriage license.

- There's this place where Michael Jordan got married.

That could be kinda funny.

- I don't really care what's funny,

just what's fast and cheap.

- Okay.

- And what opens the earliest.

- We also have to figure out prenup agreement here.

- Okay.

- Let me see.

- How much were you thinking?

[Jen laughs]

- I was thinking like 15%.

I think that would be fair.

- How much is that, total?

- 450.

$450,000.

- Wow, that's a little generous for yourself

don't you think?

- I was thinking of 5%.

- 5%?

- Yeah, 150?

- Let me think about that.

I'm gonna find a template.

We just need to sign our names.

- Okay.

- What about 12%?

I haven't done that math but-

- It's more than 300.

Why don't we just meet in the middle?

- 300, $300,000?

- 10%.

- Okay, I'll agree to that.

- Okay.

- $300,000?

- Married a year though.

- Married a year?

Okay.

That section right there, would make sense.

- Okay, okay, okay.

And your signature.

Pawn shop, rings

marriage bureau to get the license,

Michael Jordan's wedding chapel.

We're good here, thanks.

Thank you.

Pleasure doing business.

You're not staying here tonight, by the way.

- What?

What are you talking about?

We have two beds.

- We have a whole another hotel room.

You're gonna stay with Peter.

[Abe breathing loudly]

- Dude, can you just stop recording me, please?

- [Peter] Dude.

- I'm gonna break your camera

in the middle of the night.

♪ Jumping down the alley

♪ And down to where, nowhere

♪ Just thinking about the last words ♪

♪ That you told yourself

♪ And if you really even

♪ If you really even care

♪ Because now you're down and out ♪

- So, I wasn't forthcoming about one thing.

Was nowhere on the same level

as what you weren't telling me about.

Let's be honest about that. - That I have inheritance

when my Grammy dies.

That's so insane!

My Grams didn't give a fucking handjob, you freak!

- Okay, all right.

[Jen chuckles]

- Yeah, I didn't decide how much money I get.

I didn't decide any of that.

- But you did decide to marry someone by 30.

You did decide to pick me--

- Let me finish!

- Fine go, say what you have to say.

- It sounds like you're the one

that's really concerned about the money.

Because you're in a bind.

You want the money.

- Of course I want the money.

If you're gonna put me in this situation.

- You made me fucking deal with that bitch

in front of everybody.

She fucking humiliated me.

- You wanted to just plug a fucking person

into your life and you chose me

because you thought I was a nice guy.

Well, you know what? - You're not a nice guy.

Surprise.

- Maybe I'm not a nice guy.

Maybe I'm not a nice guy.

- Yeah, guess not.

This is strictly a business arrangement.

- Yeah, no shit.

- I wish you could just fucking apologize

for putting me through what you just put me through

in front of a lot of people.

- I did apologize, profusely.

- [GPS] Proceed to the route.

Use the left lane

to make a U-turn.

- Sorry, you gotta make a U-turn.

- Could you just put this here?

This is what this is for.

- Okay, hold on.

I can't rely on you.

- If my Grams wasn't about to die,

I would not be going through with this with you.

- Yeah, I get it.

- You're not even acknowledging that that's happening,

and I'm dealing with that.

- Of course I don't want your Grams

to die. - Stop.

We're done.

This is done.

- I want this to be done. - Stop!

Stop talking. - This is done.

This a financial arrangement right now.

- Just shut your fucking mouth.

[door thuds]

♪ I'd have stayed away

♪ Because the day that you left me ♪

♪ I love you, I miss you

♪ It's all the same

♪ If I knew you could kill me

♪ I would've stayed away

♪ So, I need her so bad

♪ So, I need you

- [Jen] Do you want the money?

- [Abe] Why are you--

- [Jen] Do you want it or not?

- [Abe] Okay, we're in public right now.

Why don't you just pipe down a little bit?

How do you want me to act?

I'll be like that on camera. - You keep questioning me,

I'm saying let's have fun.

We're gonna have fun and we're excited about it. Okay?

- So you want excitement from zero to 10.

What level to you want me to be at?

Just tell me and I'll be that way.

- Whatever you can manage.

We got it!

- We're getting married.

- Off to the chapel, woohoo!

- Let's do it.

[introspective music]

♪

♪

♪

[camera clicks]

♪

[camera clicks]

♪

[camera clicks]

♪ [camera clicks]

♪

♪

- Hi.

- [Abe] Hi.

- Good, how are you?

- How are you doing?

- Getting married?

- So what are the different packages that we can get?

- [Woman] Sure, we have the lover's package,

which is our most popular package.

- Okay.

- [Woman] Courtesy limousine.

Courtesy if it's available.

You'll get the chapel indoors.

You get a bouquet of flowers, boutonniere.

It's $230 plus tax. - Okay.

- And then you have the option of the gazebo

if you'd like to take a look at that.

Or the pink Cadillac, sit in the back seat.

- Oh, okay. - There's a wedding going on.

If you wanna wait till they're done

and you can look at the main chapel

where Britney Spears got married.

- Britney Spears? - Oh!

- Britney Spears got married in the main chapel.

Michael Jordan go married in the smaller chapel.

Here's a picture of Michael Jordan

and his first wife Juanita, right here.

- Yeah.

- There's Sharon Osbourne in our gown and tux area.

- [Jen] Amazing.

- [Woman] We've had Frank Sinatra to Mia Farrow,

Elizabeth Taylor, Joan Collins, Leon Spinks.

The list goes on and on. - [Peter] This is so funny.

- My name is Abe and this is Jen.

- [Woman] And now Abe and Jen.

[Jen laughing] [Abe chuckles]

- Kevin Federline and Britney Spears got married here?

- Yeah, K-Fed.

- That seems appropriate.

That seems really appropriate.

- I'm gonna be right back.

[woman coughs]

- So how much is it for the drive-through again?

- [Woman] $50.

- $50.

- And then after every ceremony,

the minister will give you an envelope that looks like this

for their donation, it's not included.

- Okay.

- [Woman] And then that doesn't include any flowers

or photos, that's just the drive-up.

And then we have photos, flowers if you wanna add on.

DVD, live-streaming.

Congratulations.

- Thank you so much for your help.

- Are you guys checking in? Are you getting married?

[man speaking off-mic]

- Okay, cool.

Thank you so much we're gonna go figure out everything else.

I'm gonna see what happened--

Where she just went off to.

- [Woman] And we'll see you soon. Congratulations.

- Thank you, I will.

Thank you.

- [Woman] You're welcome.

Hi John, how are you?

[Jen laughing]

- Hey.

- I'm so glad you're okay.

I'm so glad.

[Jen laughs]

Well, you sound great.

- Who are you talking to?

- I knew you'd be okay.

- Is that Grams?

- Yes, I will.

Yes.

I will, just in a couple of days, okay?

I'll come see you.

I'm so happy.

Thank you.

I will.

I love you too.

Okay, bye Grams.

- What's going on?

- She made this miraculous recovery.

Surgery was great.

She's okay.

- Oh, wow. [Jen laughs]

I'm glad Grams is okay.

- Oh my God.

She sounded so good.

She sounded so good.

[Jen laughs]

Wow, okay, we can go.

[Jen laughs]

- Wait, what do you wanna do?

[Jen breathing heavily]

- What?

- What do you wanna do?

I mean, we've got the marriage license.

- What do I wanna do?

- Well, you need to get married by 30.

That's approaching. - Oh, honey.

I mean this, we know this isn't gonna happen.

I'll find somebody else.

It's okay, come on.

You know you don't want this.

What about everything we just said?

You don't want this.

- We had an arrangement, we had a deal here.

- It's done.

It's done, okay?

Let's go.

I can get you a car back.

I don't give a shit. [Jen laughing]

- You know what?

- We don't have to do this.

- Fuck you, seriously fuck you.

You're a bitch.

You are a conniving bitch.

I've known it since the day I met you, but you're hot.

So that's why I stayed with you.

Fuck you, I hate you.

- Bye!

Good luck with Shmooly!

[horns blaring]

And we're back.

I'm here at the Historic Downtown Farmers Market.

I'm with Peter.

Peter, say hi.

- [Peter] What it do!

- The footage that we shot in Vegas actually turned out to be really good.

Like we have a legit movie.

It's crazy.

- I can't get Abe to sign a release.

I've been calling him, I've been texting him,

I've sent him DMs, nothing.

And he just posted to his Shmooly Instagram

that he's here, downtown at this market,

looking for peppers for his hot sauce.

So we're gonna track his ass down and get him to sign this.

Let's see.

There he is, in the yellow Shmooly shirt.

We got him.

Come on, let's go.

- How much are the pears? - Abe!

- [Vendor] $3 a pound.

- $3?

- Abe!

- What are you doing here?

- Hey.

- Hey.

- I've been trying to call you, and text you,

and you haven't been getting back to me.

- That's true, yeah.

You got Peter here, just bum rushing me?

- [Peter] What's up bro! - Yeah.

We had to come find you.

- You like stalking my Instagram or something?

- Yeah, yeah, I did.

I need you to sign this.

- What is that?

- It's a release, for our movie.

- Can we not get into this here, now?

- We just need to go talk.

Can we go talk?

Please?

[Abe sighs]

Let's go sit down.

- Okay fine.

I'll sit down, okay.

- Come on, come on.

It's okay.

How do we look?

Light good?

- [Peter] Looks perfect.

- It's good to see you.

- It is good to see you.

- You look great!

- You look really good.

- Thanks.

- You look beautiful as always, to be totally honest.

- Thank you.

I have to ask.

Why have you been ignoring me?

Like what the hell?

- Honestly, I'm really regretful

about the way everything played out

and I said some really shitty things.

And that the fact that that's all, I don't know

fuckin' recorded somewhere is scary

and I've been trying not to think about it

to be honest.

Yeah, just been trying to move on.

- I get that.

I was really shitty too.

- Yeah we were pretty shitty to each other.

- I'm really sorry.

- You're sorry?

- Yeah, I'm sorry it got as bad as it did.

That's not what I wanted at all.

- What exactly are you sorry about?

- Sorry for being mean to you.

- I'm definitely sorry for being that mean to you.

I think it was really unwarranted

and maybe even having the camera there,

made us act a little differently.

- Sure.

- It got pretty fucked up.

- I do wanna say though,

it made a really good movie.

Yeah, like Peter shot it so well.

This could go to like festivals, dude.

You have to see it.

- So us being shitty to each other

in Vegas could go to festivals?

- I'm just saying, I don't want Grandma getting sick

and our relationship going to shit to be for nothing.

- Well, a big part of me feels like

we should take the footage and set it on fire

and show it to no one because we are so shitty in it.

- This could be good for Shmooly,

this would be good for you, I promise.

The content is dope.

I just need you do sign this,

and we can move forward with it.

I think--

[Abe laughing]

It's just a release.

- I'll take a look at the footage

and if it's not the worst thing ever, maybe.

- I'm happy to show it to you, seriously.

You're great in it. [Abe laughs]

Also, I would love it if you edited, just to give some--

- Now it all makes sense.

Okay you want me to edit the footage.

- Well no, just to give some of your perspective on it.

So it's coming from both of us. I wanna be partners on this.

- Okay, I will take a look at the footage,

and we can go from there.

I'm not gonna sign anything but show me the footage.

- You're gonna like it.

- I'm sure I'm gonna have some kind of response to it.

- And honestly, I do really care about you,

and I am very sorry that it turned out like this,

and I do want us to be friends.

Seriously.

- I meant that, when I said that.

I think that would be cool.

And I don't hate you.

- I don't hate you either.

- I mean in the moment I felt that.

I was like, fucking A

I hate her in that moment.

But I don't feel that. - Just give me a hug.

- Okay.

- Just give me a hug please.

- It's definitely good to see you.

♪ Though I'm tanked as a fish

♪ And I'm buzzed bombed and blitzed ♪

♪ I found love really exists

♪ I found love when we kissed

♪ It must be love or else I'm drunk ♪

♪ These foolish fleeting thoughts I've thunk ♪

♪ Must be a dream, those lips I've kissed ♪

♪ Though I'm tanked as a fish

♪ And I'm buzzed, bombed and blitzed ♪

♪ I found love really exists

♪ I found love when we kissed

♪ I found love really, really, really exists ♪

♪ What a kiss