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1
00:00:03,780 --> 00:00:07,360
This programme
contains strong language.
2
00:00:10,950 --> 00:00:12,210
Mind your head.
3
00:00:12,230 --> 00:00:14,210
OK. Thanks.
4
00:00:16,870 --> 00:00:18,130
Bye. Bye.
5
00:00:20,900 --> 00:00:22,770
We probab* won't
see each other again, right?
6
00:00:22,790 --> 00:00:24,410
Itts unlikely. Sweet.
7
00:00:26,080 --> 00:00:27,480
MUSIC ON HEADPHONES SWELLS
8
00:00:27,500 --> 00:00:28,520
# O0000h
9
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# Come on
10
00:00:34,060 --> 00:00:35,080
# Ooh, yeah
11
00:00:36,620 --> 00:00:39,240
# Wel* I tried to tell you s0
Yes, I did
12
00:00:39,260 --> 00:00:41,440
# But I guess you didn't know
13
00:00:41,460 --> 00:00:42,790
# As the saddest story goes
14
00:00:43,950 --> 00:00:46,590
# Baby, now I got the flow
15
00:00:46,620 --> 00:00:49,240
# Cos I knew it from the start
16
00:00:49,260 --> 00:00:51,850
# Baby, when you broke my heart
17
00:00:51,880 --> 00:00:54,000
# That I had to come again
18
00:00:54,020 --> 00:00:55,950
# And show you that I 'd win
19
00:00:55,970 --> 00:00:58,870
* You lied to me
20
00:00:58,890 --> 00:01:01,680
# All those times I said
that I loved you
21
00:01:01,700 --> 00:01:03,790
* You lied to me
22
00:01:03,810 --> 00:01:06,770
# Even though you knew
I 'd die for you
23
00:01:06,790 --> 00:01:09,090
* You lied to me
24
00:01:09,110 --> 00:01:11,850
# Yes, I cried
Yes, I cried
25
00:01:11,880 --> 00:01:14,200
* Return of the mack
There it is
26
00:01:14,220 --> 00:01:16,730
* Return of the mack
Come on
27
00:01:16,760 --> 00:01:19,430
* Return of the mack
Oh, my God... #
28
00:01:19,450 --> 00:01:20,840
DOOR CLOSES
29
00:01:20,870 --> 00:01:22,720
MUSIC CONTI NUES THROUGH HEADPHONES
30
00:01:32,460 --> 00:01:34,590
You had sex? Yeah, boy!
31
00:01:35,620 --> 00:01:36,640
W00!
32
00:01:37,790 --> 00:01:39,890
Yes!
33
00:01:39,910 --> 00:01:41,520
Come on!
34
00:01:41,540 --> 00:01:42,560
Ooh!
35
00:01:45,900 --> 00:01:48,360
Do you have the hairbrush?
Uh, I have MY hairbrush.
36
00:01:48,380 --> 00:01:50,230
Oh, come on, I'm going to be late
for work.
37
00:01:50,250 --> 00:01:52,160
Weren't you supposed to start
like an hour ago?
38
00:01:52,180 --> 00:01:54,360
Oh, my God.
Did the clocks change?
39
00:01:54,380 --> 00:01:55,720
Yeah. Last month.
40
00:01:55,750 --> 00:01:57,680
Oh, pathetic.
41
00:01:57,700 --> 00:01:58,850
Oh, there it is.
42
00:01:58,880 --> 00:01:59,880
PHONE CHIMES
43
00:02:03,030 --> 00:02:05,850
Oh! Ooh- h00- h00!
44
00:02:05,880 --> 00:02:08,030
Wel* wel* well.
45
00:02:08,050 --> 00:02:10,090
When it rains, it pours.
What?
46
00:02:10,110 --> 00:02:11,320
# Oh, Danny boy
47
00:02:11,340 --> 00:02:13,390
# The pipes, the pipes
are calling... #
48
00:02:13,410 --> 00:02:16,290
Dan?! No, you cannot see him.
49
00:02:16,310 --> 00:02:19,410
I can't help it if these boys
are obsessed with me.
50
00:02:19,430 --> 00:02:21,070
He's hot but he's a bit naff.
51
00:02:21,090 --> 00:02:23,030
Yeah.
52
00:02:23,050 --> 00:02:25,400
What's he saying then? Nothing.
53
00:02:25,420 --> 00:02:26,710
Oi!
54
00:02:26,740 --> 00:02:29,850
He just asked if I was around
for a drink this afternoon.
55
00:02:29,880 --> 00:02:31,960
You freak. What did you say?
56
00:02:31,980 --> 00:02:33,510
Said I might be.
57
00:02:33,530 --> 00:02:35,320
Yeah.
58
00:02:35,340 --> 00:02:36,760
Hey! Oh, don't...
59
00:02:36,780 --> 00:02:38,960
GRUNTl NG
60
00:02:38,980 --> 00:02:40,760
" L0* yeah."
61
00:02:40,780 --> 00:02:42,680
Mm- hm.
" Keen, keen, keen.
62
00:02:42,700 --> 00:02:45,320
"Where and when? I'm free all day."
63
00:02:45,340 --> 00:02:47,890
It's a casual aftern00n drink.
64
00:02:47,910 --> 00:02:51,150
And if we have sex - I F...
Oh, my God.
65
00:02:51,170 --> 00:02:53,750
...we have sex... Oh, my God.
..It means nothing.
66
00:02:53,770 --> 00:02:55,040
Actually come on.
67
00:02:55,060 --> 00:02:58,010
Aftern00n sex is basical*
an errand.
68
00:02:59,260 --> 00:03:00,650
Fine. Do what you want.
69
00:03:00,670 --> 00:03:02,040
But use protection.
70
00:03:02,060 --> 00:03:03,080
Mm- hm.
71
00:03:03,100 --> 00:03:04,720
I'm not child - pr00fing this flat.
72
00:03:04,750 --> 00:03:06,320
OK.
73
00:03:06,340 --> 00:03:08,320
Do you really think
it's a g00d idea?
74
00:03:08,340 --> 00:03:10,880
It's fine. I don't like him -
he's just my friend.
75
00:03:10,900 --> 00:03:13,210
So you're not going to sleep
with him, then?
76
00:03:13,230 --> 00:03:14,800
Oh, n0, I definite* wil* yeah.
77
00:03:14,820 --> 00:03:15,880
Right.
78
00:03:15,900 --> 00:03:18,730
Honest*, I can stay until the end
of the shift if you can't cover.
79
00:03:18,760 --> 00:03:19,890
No, it's fine, it's fine.
80
00:03:19,910 --> 00:03:21,320
I can handle this lot.
81
00:03:21,340 --> 00:03:23,960
Go. Do your thang, girl.
82
00:03:23,980 --> 00:03:25,480
Oh, I've messed it up.
83
00:03:25,510 --> 00:03:27,750
I shouldn't have drawn his teeth.
84
00:03:27,770 --> 00:03:29,120
I don't like him.
85
00:03:29,140 --> 00:03:30,450
Humphrey Bogart? Yeah.
86
00:03:30,470 --> 00:03:31,930
Oh, right.
87
00:03:33,030 --> 00:03:35,040
You know he's in the film
you're about to watch?
88
00:03:35,060 --> 00:03:37,210
He wishes. OK.
89
00:03:37,230 --> 00:03:39,090
Don't you think it's just
hard to be friends
90
00:03:39,110 --> 00:03:42,250
with people you've had sex with?
Wel* we've had sex. We're friends.
91
00:03:42,270 --> 00:03:43,520
Wel* yes.
92
00:03:43,540 --> 00:03:45,730
But that's... That's like, that,
that, that, that...
93
00:03:45,760 --> 00:03:48,480
...that's different. That's like
a different vibe, you know?
94
00:03:48,510 --> 00:03:50,120
Plus, it was 0nly one time.
95
00:03:50,140 --> 00:03:51,250
Barely even remember it.
96
00:03:51,270 --> 00:03:52,880
If anything, I've tried
to block it out.
97
00:03:52,900 --> 00:03:54,890
Oh, my gosh, I've written
"Cavaslanka". Oh...
98
00:03:54,910 --> 00:03:57,480
No, n0, please, please, please,
don't... Oh, no, no, no! No, no!
99
00:03:57,510 --> 00:03:59,650
We can't, we can't, we can't...
We can't... No, no, no!
100
00:03:59,670 --> 00:04:01,240
I, uh... Itts exact money.
101
00:04:01,260 --> 00:04:03,320
It's s0 tiring.
It takes us so long to...
102
00:04:03,340 --> 00:04:04,600
It's such a tiring thing.
103
00:04:11,140 --> 00:04:13,320
Hi ! Oh, my God! Oh!
104
00:04:13,340 --> 00:04:15,030
Hi. That's...
105
00:04:15,050 --> 00:04:16,890
What are you doing?
Pretending to read again?
106
00:04:16,910 --> 00:04:19,390
Yes. That's g00d.
107
00:04:19,410 --> 00:04:21,610
Oh, s0 g00d to see you.
Hi, you look great.
108
00:04:21,640 --> 00:04:22,930
Thank you.
109
00:04:27,140 --> 00:04:28,520
Sorry I'm late.
110
00:04:28,540 --> 00:04:31,110
Oh, it's fine, n0, n0. It's fine,
yeah. No, I've just been...
111
00:04:31,130 --> 00:04:33,650
Haven't been here for long,
so it's fine. Good! C00l.
112
00:04:33,670 --> 00:04:35,160
So how are you?
What's going on?
113
00:04:35,180 --> 00:04:37,730
I'm great. No, yeah, I'm great.
just came from work.
114
00:04:37,760 --> 00:04:39,090
Oh, how's the cinema biz?
115
00:04:39,110 --> 00:04:40,760
Great. Yeah? It's b00ming.
116
00:04:40,780 --> 00:04:43,040
You running the place yet?
Yes! Final*.
117
00:04:43,060 --> 00:04:45,400
No, they actual* let me use
the photocopier now
118
00:04:45,420 --> 00:04:47,810
because I make this, like,
month* newsletter.
119
00:04:47,830 --> 00:04:49,160
Very c00l.
120
00:04:49,180 --> 00:04:51,320
Yes! It's, um, it's actual* main*
just to tell them
121
00:04:51,340 --> 00:04:53,520
not to download porn on 0ur Wi- Fi.
122
00:04:53,540 --> 00:04:54,890
Really? God!
123
00:04:56,330 --> 00:05:00,290
No, it's all right. That was,
that was... That was a joke. Oh!
124
00:05:00,310 --> 00:05:01,730
I mean, that's not a bad idea.
125
00:05:03,510 --> 00:05:04,810
No!
126
00:05:04,830 --> 00:05:05,830
Yeah.
127
00:05:08,990 --> 00:05:11,200
How's...? How's your work?
How's the cafe?
128
00:05:11,220 --> 00:05:14,010
Still in the cafe with the dusty
cakes in the windows? Yeah, yeah.
129
00:05:14,030 --> 00:05:15,600
Still there.
130
00:05:15,630 --> 00:05:17,680
But it's all chill. I've just been
sort of, um, yeah,
131
00:05:17,700 --> 00:05:20,580
mainly focusing on my music, really.
132
00:05:20,600 --> 00:05:21,680
Sorry, what music?
133
00:05:21,700 --> 00:05:23,800
MY music.
You know about my music.
134
00:05:23,820 --> 00:05:25,880
Yeah. Sorry...
No, sorry when you said...
135
00:05:25,900 --> 00:05:27,010
Yeah. YOUR music.
136
00:05:27,030 --> 00:05:28,610
Yeah. Yes!
137
00:05:28,640 --> 00:05:30,970
I love it. Yeah, I know. Hm. Yeah.
138
00:05:30,990 --> 00:05:33,600
What kind of music is it?
139
00:05:33,630 --> 00:05:36,940
Ooh, at the minute I've been trying
to move away from dub
140
00:05:36,960 --> 00:05:38,400
but, like, it's impossible.
141
00:05:38,420 --> 00:05:40,200
Right. Hm. You know me.
142
00:05:40,220 --> 00:05:42,290
Yeah. I know you.
143
00:05:42,310 --> 00:05:45,250
Right, where is it? Uh...
Oh, bugger!
144
00:05:45,270 --> 00:05:46,800
Oh, dear. Hang on.
145
00:05:46,820 --> 00:05:49,300
There we are. Aw!
146
00:05:49,320 --> 00:05:51,330
Aw! Look at that.
147
00:05:52,430 --> 00:05:53,600
It's nice.
148
00:05:53,630 --> 00:05:57,040
N ice? Oh, piss off!
Thatts fucking romantic, that is.
149
00:05:57,060 --> 00:05:59,880
Side- by-side burial plots.
Shets going to lose her mind.
150
00:05:59,900 --> 00:06:01,680
I thought you said she wanted
a new watch.
151
00:06:01,700 --> 00:06:03,810
No, that was a trap.
See if I tll take the easy route.
152
00:06:03,830 --> 00:06:06,170
Stop distracting me.
I tm trying to find you something.
153
00:06:06,190 --> 00:06:08,800
You're the one who started showing
me burial plots. SHE HUMS A TUNE
154
00:06:08,820 --> 00:06:10,330
Oh, yeah. Here we are.
155
00:06:10,350 --> 00:06:14,680
Now the script is a piece of shit
but the money is 0utrageous.
156
00:06:14,700 --> 00:06:16,480
What's the part?
157
00:06:16,510 --> 00:06:18,010
Todd Emery.
158
00:06:18,030 --> 00:06:22,480
An unlucky- in- love optometrist who
falls in love with a blind girl.
159
00:06:23,830 --> 00:06:25,450
Rachel McAdams is already attached.
160
00:06:25,470 --> 00:06:27,970
OK, this might be a crazy idea,
but how about we try and find
161
00:06:27,990 --> 00:06:30,400
something for me
that's actually g00d?
162
00:06:30,420 --> 00:06:32,760
What? Like a little indie film?
163
00:06:32,780 --> 00:06:33,920
Dunn0. Maybe.
164
00:06:33,940 --> 00:06:36,120
Why? Are you putting on weight?
Oh, forget it.
165
00:06:36,140 --> 00:06:38,370
Are you unwell? Let me see...
Nothing's wrong with me.
166
00:06:38,390 --> 00:06:41,760
Whatts going on with you?
Why are you doing this to me?
167
00:06:41,780 --> 00:06:43,290
So, cut a long story short,
168
00:06:43,310 --> 00:06:45,890
it wasn't their cat s0 I had
to give the money back.
169
00:06:45,910 --> 00:06:49,010
But, um, they asked me
to stay for dinner, so...
170
00:06:49,030 --> 00:06:50,840
That's my Saturday.
171
00:06:53,630 --> 00:06:54,650
What?
172
00:06:57,390 --> 00:06:58,530
I've missed you.
173
00:06:59,640 --> 00:07:01,010
Ooh, OK.
174
00:07:01,030 --> 00:07:02,600
Dan.
175
00:07:02,630 --> 00:07:03,690
Jessie.
176
00:07:03,710 --> 00:07:07,680
Oh, before THIS happens, I just
want to say, I love being friends
177
00:07:07,700 --> 00:07:11,400
and I would love to continue
that friendship.
178
00:07:11,420 --> 00:07:13,090
Yeah? Great. Me t00.
179
00:07:13,110 --> 00:07:15,410
So, uh, 0bvious* we can go back
to my house, but I, uh...
180
00:07:15,430 --> 00:07:18,080
I just want to warn you there is a
weird smell in my room at the moment
181
00:07:18,100 --> 00:07:20,120
but I feel like, if you know the
context of a smel*
182
00:07:20,140 --> 00:07:22,650
then it kind of fee* less weird
when you smell it... Jessie!
183
00:07:22,670 --> 00:07:24,340
Jessie! Wait, I'm...
184
00:07:24,360 --> 00:07:26,730
Ah! This is awkward.
185
00:07:26,760 --> 00:07:28,170
Uh...
186
00:07:28,190 --> 00:07:30,020
...you know I'm in
a relationship, right?
187
00:07:31,640 --> 00:07:32,650
No, you aren't.
188
00:07:32,670 --> 00:07:34,970
Yeah. I am, big time.
189
00:07:34,990 --> 00:07:36,320
Ooh...
190
00:07:36,340 --> 00:07:38,330
Wh0? Wh0's...? Wh0, who?
191
00:07:38,350 --> 00:07:39,970
Claire.
192
00:07:39,990 --> 00:07:42,640
Claire. Claire!
193
00:07:42,660 --> 00:07:44,020
Oh, wow!
194
00:07:44,040 --> 00:07:46,810
Claire from the cafe.
195
00:07:46,830 --> 00:07:49,890
Old Claire. Old Claire
with the, um, sh...
196
00:07:49,910 --> 00:07:51,610
...fringe! She's got a fringe.
197
00:07:51,640 --> 00:07:53,730
How do you know she's got a fringe?
Oh, you know.
198
00:07:53,760 --> 00:07:56,090
Anyone who follows her on I nstagram
knows that she's...
199
00:07:56,110 --> 00:07:58,380
It's been a big transition for her.
200
00:07:58,400 --> 00:08:00,410
Real* big year,
so that's kind of...
201
00:08:00,430 --> 00:08:01,630
No, n0, um, I ...
202
00:08:01,650 --> 00:08:04,610
That's s0 c00l cos you and Claire
both have fringes.
203
00:08:04,640 --> 00:08:05,810
Why are you being like this?
204
00:08:05,830 --> 00:08:08,490
Like, you literally just said that
you just want to be friends.
205
00:08:08,520 --> 00:08:10,170
I ... No, n0, n0.
Sorry. No, I ...
206
00:08:10,190 --> 00:08:11,920
And I stand by that.
I total* stand by...
207
00:08:11,940 --> 00:08:14,460
I want to be your friend
but I just feel like you sort of
208
00:08:14,480 --> 00:08:18,250
getting int0 a proper relationship
is sort of a step too far
209
00:08:18,270 --> 00:08:22,560
and, um, quite rude...and u*imate*
uncalled for...
210
00:08:22,580 --> 00:08:25,810
Wel* l00k... I mean, we're pretty
much 0pen anyway, s0...
211
00:08:25,830 --> 00:08:27,840
Oh! Oh, OK, c00l.
212
00:08:27,860 --> 00:08:28,990
C00* dude.
213
00:08:29,010 --> 00:08:30,840
Nice!
214
00:08:30,860 --> 00:08:33,650
This is not '967. Honest*.
215
00:08:33,670 --> 00:08:36,330
Why are you lashing out at me?
I am not lashing out.
216
00:08:36,350 --> 00:08:38,610
The way I'm reacting to this
is entire* consistent
217
00:08:38,640 --> 00:08:40,090
with my personality.
218
00:08:40,110 --> 00:08:42,050
Jessie, come on! Oh! Sorry...
219
00:08:42,070 --> 00:08:43,410
My ride is tw0 minutes away.
220
00:08:43,430 --> 00:08:45,690
Erm, give my love to Fringe.
221
00:08:45,710 --> 00:08:47,200
Right, well... It's Claire.
222
00:08:47,220 --> 00:08:48,640
Yeah, whatever.
223
00:08:48,660 --> 00:08:49,960
You do you.
224
00:08:51,230 --> 00:08:53,610
Do you know what I mean?
It's like...
225
00:08:53,640 --> 00:08:57,040
I tm telling you, I think itts
cancer. I dontt have long.
226
00:08:57,060 --> 00:08:58,640
Cath, you don't have eye cancer.
227
00:08:58,660 --> 00:09:01,400
How do you know? Youtre not a
doctor? I tve got all the symptoms.
228
00:09:01,420 --> 00:09:03,810
Look. That's not a...
You're just twitching your eye.
229
00:09:03,830 --> 00:09:05,130
That's not a symptom.
230
00:09:07,550 --> 00:09:10,480
Thank you. No worries.
231
00:09:10,510 --> 00:09:12,610
It was delicious, by the way.
232
00:09:12,640 --> 00:09:14,850
Wow, I'm...I'm real* glad.
233
00:09:16,430 --> 00:09:17,850
Thank you.
234
00:09:17,870 --> 00:09:19,170
No worries.
235
00:09:20,940 --> 00:09:23,290
Have a g00d night.
Thanks. You t00.
236
00:09:25,770 --> 00:09:27,360
No.
237
00:09:27,390 --> 00:09:29,360
What? You cantt fuck civilians.
238
00:09:29,390 --> 00:09:30,410
Sh...
239
00:09:32,520 --> 00:09:33,850
I should fire you.
240
00:09:33,870 --> 00:09:36,450
Oh, youtre not going to fire me.
I Star- Is- Borntd you.
241
00:09:36,470 --> 00:09:38,330
You can't call PEOPLE civilians.
242
00:09:38,350 --> 00:09:40,170
To you, thatts what they are.
243
00:09:40,190 --> 00:09:42,690
These girls know lots more about you
than you know about them.
244
00:09:42,710 --> 00:09:44,610
Itts not normal.
Oh, God!
245
00:09:44,640 --> 00:09:47,840
All I tm saying is, there is a reason
actors date 0ther actors.
246
00:09:47,860 --> 00:09:49,090
Itts just easier.
247
00:09:49,110 --> 00:09:50,680
Wow, you're a true romantic, Cath.
248
00:09:50,700 --> 00:09:52,260
Well, itts easier for everyone.
249
00:09:52,280 --> 00:09:54,290
I mean, ha* the time
these p00r people dontt know
250
00:09:54,310 --> 00:09:56,080
what theytre getting into
with your lot.
251
00:09:56,100 --> 00:09:59,280
I mean, look at
Reese Withersp00nts husband.
252
00:09:59,300 --> 00:10:00,620
What about him?
253
00:10:00,650 --> 00:10:02,280
He died.
254
00:10:02,300 --> 00:10:04,130
No, he didn't. He didntt?
255
00:10:05,270 --> 00:10:07,330
Well, who am I thinking of?
256
00:10:07,350 --> 00:10:08,850
Always a pleasure, Cath.
257
00:10:08,870 --> 00:10:10,360
I dontt mean to scare you.
258
00:10:10,390 --> 00:10:13,180
I tm not being dramatic,
but I will say this.
259
00:10:13,200 --> 00:10:17,540
Dating someone like you will most
likely ruin a girlts life forever.
260
00:10:17,560 --> 00:10:18,700
Wow! OK.
261
00:10:18,720 --> 00:10:20,080
Or worse - yours.
262
00:10:20,100 --> 00:10:22,250
Or, by extension - mine.
263
00:10:22,270 --> 00:10:23,620
So... Yeah.
264
00:10:25,360 --> 00:10:27,090
Just a few things to think about.
265
00:10:27,110 --> 00:10:28,330
Mm- hm. OK? OK.
266
00:10:28,350 --> 00:10:29,830
I love you. Love you, t00.
267
00:10:29,850 --> 00:10:32,140
I tm going to skedaddle.
268
00:10:32,160 --> 00:10:33,410
Oh, and listen...
269
00:10:33,430 --> 00:10:37,370
...if you think about eating bread,
call me and I tll talk you down.
270
00:10:38,870 --> 00:10:39,890
No bread.
271
00:10:40,940 --> 00:10:41,980
Say it.
272
00:10:43,020 --> 00:10:44,970
No bread. Got it?
273
00:10:46,860 --> 00:10:47,980
Fucking hell!
274
00:10:53,480 --> 00:10:55,010
So youtre on a corner?
275
00:10:55,030 --> 00:10:56,410
Youtre on a corner.
276
00:10:56,430 --> 00:10:58,190
WHISPERS: Fuck 0ff.
277
00:11:06,520 --> 00:11:09,440
No, I dontt want to cancel, because
then thatts how they get your money.
278
00:11:09,460 --> 00:11:12,690
They do the cancellation fees and...
Uh, n0, not you. I mean, like,
279
00:11:12,710 --> 00:11:15,480
the fat cats higher up.
You sound lovely. You sound great.
280
00:11:15,510 --> 00:11:17,010
So, I dontt just...
281
00:11:17,030 --> 00:11:20,120
If you come around the, um,
block and I tll meet,
282
00:11:20,140 --> 00:11:22,850
I tll meet you on the corner.
I tm on the corner,
283
00:11:22,870 --> 00:11:24,820
if that is any help. Itts just...
284
00:11:24,840 --> 00:11:27,460
Yeah, OK, I tll see you then.
Gre...
285
00:11:27,480 --> 00:11:30,450
I mean, super excited to
meet you, man. I mean...
286
00:11:30,470 --> 00:11:33,440
...this is going to be great.
All right, g00dbye.
287
00:11:38,790 --> 00:11:39,800
Jessie?
288
00:11:41,580 --> 00:11:43,970
H uh! Wow, hi.
289
00:11:43,990 --> 00:11:48,770
I just, I saw you through the
window. C00l. Yeah. Yes.
290
00:11:48,790 --> 00:11:52,330
It's been a while. Yeah, I tm just
waiting for a car, s0, uh...
291
00:11:52,350 --> 00:11:54,570
...thatts why I tm here. Oh, OK.
292
00:11:54,590 --> 00:11:56,540
Yeah, are you following me?
293
00:11:56,560 --> 00:11:59,050
No. Cos obviously I tm
not following you cos, you know...
294
00:11:59,070 --> 00:12:01,700
Jess...you were the one that came
and said hi from the window.
295
00:12:01,720 --> 00:12:03,060
Oh, God.
296
00:12:03,080 --> 00:12:04,800
H i. Ah.
297
00:12:05,920 --> 00:12:07,090
You forgot your b00k.
298
00:12:07,110 --> 00:12:09,200
Great. Thank you.
That's all right.
299
00:12:10,880 --> 00:12:12,700
Dan, this is Tom. Tom, this is Dan.
300
00:12:12,720 --> 00:12:15,050
Hey. Fuck 0ff!
301
00:12:15,070 --> 00:12:18,410
It's... You're that dude
from...from what's- it-called?
302
00:12:18,430 --> 00:12:21,810
Mate, I'm such a big fan. Are you?
Yeah! Hey, l00k, I know
303
00:12:21,830 --> 00:12:23,980
it's a bit awkward,
but can I get a phot0 with you?
304
00:12:24,000 --> 00:12:26,770
My brother's like, he'd freak if,
if he knew I was with you.
305
00:12:26,790 --> 00:12:29,560
No, that's, that's c00l.
Are you sure?
306
00:12:29,580 --> 00:12:31,000
Jessie.
307
00:12:31,020 --> 00:12:32,920
Oh...
308
00:12:32,940 --> 00:12:35,210
Oh, great. Great, OK.
309
00:12:35,230 --> 00:12:38,370
Ha- ha! Didntt know this one
had a camera. This is mad.
310
00:12:38,400 --> 00:12:40,360
How'd you tw0 know each 0ther, then?
OK, great.
311
00:12:40,390 --> 00:12:43,130
Well, there we go, because my carts
here, actually.
312
00:12:43,150 --> 00:12:45,850
Good to see you, Tom. Good to see
you, Dan. Thatts me, s0...
313
00:12:45,870 --> 00:12:47,080
Oh, my God ! Literally insane!
314
00:12:47,100 --> 00:12:48,410
Sorry, sorry, can I get a phot0?
315
00:12:48,430 --> 00:12:49,780
What?! Yeah, of course.
316
00:12:49,800 --> 00:12:50,970
Loved you in the Avengers.
317
00:12:50,990 --> 00:12:53,500
I wasn't in that. Yes, you were. OK.
318
00:12:53,530 --> 00:12:57,210
OK, s0, uh, I've got like
ha* a pint left in the pub,
319
00:12:57,230 --> 00:12:59,140
s0 I'm going to bounce, all right?
OK.
320
00:12:59,160 --> 00:13:02,370
Oh, actually, l00k, dude,
do you want a...little drink?
321
00:13:02,400 --> 00:13:04,780
No, you're g00d, mate.
Sure? All right, c00l.
322
00:13:04,800 --> 00:13:06,850
Hey, this was nice, right?
323
00:13:06,870 --> 00:13:08,580
No, it wasntt. Yeah, true.
324
00:13:08,600 --> 00:13:10,360
All right, man, see you later.
325
00:13:12,990 --> 00:13:14,650
Can you take a phot0? Oh.
326
00:13:14,670 --> 00:13:17,980
Then I can take yours... No, n0,
n0, it's OK. No, n0, it's fine.
327
00:13:18,000 --> 00:13:19,860
Oh, my God ! OK.
328
00:13:24,520 --> 00:13:26,570
Hey, say hi
to your gir*riend for me.
329
00:13:26,590 --> 00:13:31,360
What? You heard. Oh. I don't have
a gir*riend. Yes, you do.
330
00:13:31,390 --> 00:13:33,690
Stop ruining my cool moment
with the window.
331
00:13:33,710 --> 00:13:35,450
Can we just get a drink?
332
00:13:36,820 --> 00:13:38,060
No.
333
00:13:38,080 --> 00:13:39,690
QUIZ CALLER ANNOUNCES I N BACKGROUND
334
00:13:39,710 --> 00:13:42,420
Wait, so you broke
up on your birthday? Yep.
335
00:13:42,440 --> 00:13:44,210
You said that you broke up
on New Yearts Eve.
336
00:13:44,230 --> 00:13:46,450
That is my birthday. Oh.
337
00:13:47,430 --> 00:13:49,370
I tm so sorry. Yeah.
338
00:13:49,400 --> 00:13:51,690
So, do you combine parties,
or do you...
339
00:13:51,710 --> 00:13:54,360
...you just do another thing
on another day?
340
00:13:54,390 --> 00:13:56,970
Are you sorry about me breaking up
or about my birthday
341
00:13:56,990 --> 00:13:59,440
being on New Year's Eve?
Mainly the birthday th...
342
00:13:59,460 --> 00:14:02,370
Yeah, mainly the birthday thing.
Yeah, me t00, actually.
343
00:14:02,400 --> 00:14:04,060
Oh, really? Yeah.
344
00:14:04,080 --> 00:14:08,520
Itts funny cos we... Well, I, um,
I nearly made the Daily Mail,
345
00:14:08,540 --> 00:14:11,850
uh, the morning that you,
um, well, that we...
346
00:14:11,870 --> 00:14:14,440
Yeah. Shit, I'm s0 sorry.
No, n0, itts fine.
347
00:14:14,460 --> 00:14:16,440
It was funny.
It was, it was quite funny.
348
00:14:16,460 --> 00:14:19,410
They thought I was the cleaner
s0...youtre safe.
349
00:14:19,430 --> 00:14:22,090
I mean, the speed
at which they assumed that was...
350
00:14:22,110 --> 00:14:24,620
...was pretty offensive.
Wel* that's ridiculous.
351
00:14:24,650 --> 00:14:27,520
I mean, if anything,
you left a real mess.
352
00:14:31,040 --> 00:14:35,140
Oh, my God.
Oh, yeah, um, OK.
353
00:14:35,160 --> 00:14:36,490
Mm- hm.
354
00:14:36,520 --> 00:14:39,650
I didntt even put a towel down -
that was a...that was a bold move.
355
00:14:39,670 --> 00:14:42,530
My bed l00ked like a Jackson Pollock
painting. Shut up.
356
00:14:42,550 --> 00:14:45,500
I had to burn my sheets.
No, you... No, you didntt.
357
00:14:45,530 --> 00:14:48,610
No, I didn't. I put them
in the freezer as a keepsake.
358
00:14:48,640 --> 00:14:49,990
SHE LAUGHS
359
00:14:50,010 --> 00:14:52,490
Sorry, I just have to make
a quick call, um... Uh...
360
00:14:53,910 --> 00:14:56,420
Hello, Metropolitan police?
I need...
361
00:14:56,440 --> 00:14:58,160
Yeah... OK, no, I tll hold.
362
00:14:58,180 --> 00:15:00,610
Wh0 played the titular Father Ted?
363
00:15:00,640 --> 00:15:03,140
Dermot Morgan. Remember, guys,
this one is worth five points.
364
00:15:03,160 --> 00:15:07,220
What? The quiz. It is Dermot Morgan.
365
00:15:07,240 --> 00:15:09,010
Oh! You got it right.
366
00:15:09,030 --> 00:15:12,160
I love pub quizzes. I n a healthy
way, not in a psych0 way.
367
00:15:12,180 --> 00:15:14,580
Yeah, me too. I love them.
I mean, people would say
368
00:15:14,600 --> 00:15:16,610
I tm quite competitive when I do it,
but I dontt...
369
00:15:16,630 --> 00:15:18,700
ZSA ZSA GABOR. Way t00 loud.
370
00:15:18,720 --> 00:15:20,290
What was that? I tm sorry. I tm sorry.
371
00:15:20,310 --> 00:15:22,850
Uh, just a reminder that
teams need to pay the five quid to
372
00:15:22,870 --> 00:15:24,300
participate in the quiz.
373
00:15:24,320 --> 00:15:25,600
BOTH: Sorry.
374
00:15:25,620 --> 00:15:28,890
Question nine, name three members
of the cast
375
00:15:28,910 --> 00:15:31,700
from the '983 film The Outsiders.
376
00:15:31,720 --> 00:15:34,360
C Thomas Howell, patrick Swayze,
Ralph Macchi0, Emili0 Estevez,
377
00:15:34,390 --> 00:15:36,570
Tom Cruise, Rob Lowe, Matt Dillon.
378
00:15:36,590 --> 00:15:38,370
How do you know that?
379
00:15:38,400 --> 00:15:41,250
Oh, I, um, I used to be a virgin.
HE LAUGHS
380
00:15:41,280 --> 00:15:43,880
OK. That's gross.
381
00:15:43,900 --> 00:15:45,140
Itts gross?
382
00:15:45,160 --> 00:15:47,360
I ... You can't say that.
I can say that.
383
00:15:47,390 --> 00:15:49,780
That... Wel* OK. No, no, no. What?
OK.
384
00:15:49,800 --> 00:15:52,420
I have a good one. Very good one.
OK.
385
00:15:52,440 --> 00:15:55,450
OK, I ... The options are...
Give it to me.
386
00:15:55,470 --> 00:15:58,730
...either you can kill a chicken
with your bare hands,
387
00:15:58,750 --> 00:16:03,860
or you can live
with the chicken for a year.
388
00:16:03,880 --> 00:16:05,500
Live with the chicken?
389
00:16:05,530 --> 00:16:08,810
No, sorry, uh, it has to live
inside. Why can't it live 0utside?
390
00:16:08,830 --> 00:16:10,930
Because the chickents paying rent.
391
00:16:10,950 --> 00:16:13,810
Do you...do you want to be that
kind of landlord? Ah.
392
00:16:13,830 --> 00:16:17,220
Really? Yeah, OK, then kill him.
Oh! Yeah. C00l.
393
00:16:17,240 --> 00:16:18,660
I td do the same.
394
00:16:18,680 --> 00:16:20,930
Um, this is where I live.
395
00:16:20,950 --> 00:16:23,610
Oh. L00ks nice.
396
00:16:23,630 --> 00:16:25,410
It is, yes, it is.
Itts very nice.
397
00:16:25,430 --> 00:16:28,700
Itts, um, the ninth
of it that is 0urs is pretty cosy.
398
00:16:28,720 --> 00:16:29,730
Right.
399
00:16:32,440 --> 00:16:33,700
So...
400
00:16:36,190 --> 00:16:37,880
...I tll see you later.
401
00:16:37,900 --> 00:16:39,700
Actually, um... Uh- huh.
402
00:16:39,720 --> 00:16:43,140
...probably not.
Uh, I'm away for a bit now.
403
00:16:43,160 --> 00:16:45,490
Oh! Oh, cool, yeah. Yeah.
404
00:16:45,520 --> 00:16:48,810
Where you going? Prague.
Wow.
405
00:16:48,830 --> 00:16:51,580
You cantt just make up
a country, Tom.
406
00:16:51,600 --> 00:16:54,930
Just so you dontt...
ttOK, I tm going to Prague. tt
407
00:16:54,950 --> 00:16:57,580
Great. Wel* yeah, I am. Yeah, OK.
408
00:16:57,600 --> 00:16:59,380
Well...thatts good.
409
00:17:03,090 --> 00:17:05,380
Could I use your l00, actually?
Yes, totally. Yeah?
410
00:17:05,410 --> 00:17:08,180
No, of course, yes. C00l.
Should have said earlier, yeah.
411
00:17:08,200 --> 00:17:09,660
THEY WHISPER
412
00:17:09,680 --> 00:17:11,880
J ust...J ust be very quiet...
413
00:17:11,900 --> 00:17:15,250
SHOUTl NG: Where have you been?!
I've been texting you I...
414
00:17:18,230 --> 00:17:21,330
Hey. I'm Kate. Tom.
415
00:17:21,350 --> 00:17:22,660
Yeah. Nice to meet you.
416
00:17:22,680 --> 00:17:26,600
Tom. Uh... Tom, Tomts, um, here to
use the, uh, the bathr00m.
417
00:17:26,620 --> 00:17:28,650
OK, c00l. Great, yeah.
418
00:17:28,670 --> 00:17:30,680
Uh, love it, it's great up there.
419
00:17:32,710 --> 00:17:35,060
THEY ALL SPEAK AT ONCE
I could show you, if...
420
00:17:35,080 --> 00:17:38,580
Itts... just on the left.
..just on the left, yeah. OK.
421
00:17:48,440 --> 00:17:50,420
DOOR BANGS UPSTAl RS
422
00:17:50,440 --> 00:17:52,730
WHISPERS: What the fuck?! Shut up.
What's he doing here?
423
00:17:52,750 --> 00:17:54,500
I thought you were
supposed to be with Dan.
424
00:17:54,530 --> 00:17:56,890
Well, I was with Dan and then Tom
was there for some reason,
425
00:17:56,910 --> 00:17:59,250
and then Dan is now going out
with Claire, and Claire has
426
00:17:59,280 --> 00:18:01,610
a fringe now. And just a lot has
happened. Oh, my God!
427
00:18:01,630 --> 00:18:04,500
When it rains, it absolute*
pisses itse*.
428
00:18:05,700 --> 00:18:08,290
What the fuck?!
We're out of fucking tea.
429
00:18:08,310 --> 00:18:10,970
Will he have whisk y? We have
ice cream. What's the vibe?
430
00:18:10,990 --> 00:18:13,650
Thatts the thing, I dontt know what
the vibe is because he was like,
431
00:18:13,670 --> 00:18:16,050
tt Do you want to go for a drink?tt
We went for a drink, and then
432
00:18:16,070 --> 00:18:18,310
he was like, tt I tll walk a
little bit of the way with you,tt
433
00:18:18,330 --> 00:18:20,970
and then hets walked all the way
here, and then now hets in here
434
00:18:20,990 --> 00:18:23,860
and hets upstairs at the bathroom
and I dontt know what that is...
435
00:18:23,890 --> 00:18:25,320
...as a vibe.
436
00:18:25,350 --> 00:18:30,320
OK, s0 the vibe is that he has made
some bul*hit excuse to come over to
437
00:18:30,350 --> 00:18:34,210
our house because he's in love with
you and you are going to have sex.
438
00:18:34,240 --> 00:18:36,890
Stop it. Stop it. Shut up. Oh!
439
00:18:36,920 --> 00:18:40,520
You're going to go to the Oscars!
Sh. Shut...
440
00:18:40,550 --> 00:18:44,260
MUFFLED RAISED VOICES
441
00:18:46,320 --> 00:18:49,600
RUNNl NG WATER DROWNS MUFFLED SPEECH
442
00:18:53,390 --> 00:18:54,960
MUFFLED VOICES GET LOUDER
443
00:18:56,600 --> 00:18:58,600
Have you seen how hot he is?
444
00:18:58,630 --> 00:19:01,210
Calm down. You don't understand.
Youtre going to embarrass me.
445
00:19:01,240 --> 00:19:03,560
Youtre going to embarrass me.
This is the best thing ever.
446
00:19:03,590 --> 00:19:05,090
That's why I'm freaking out.
447
00:19:05,120 --> 00:19:06,720
MUFFLED RAISED VOICES CONTI NUE
448
00:19:09,430 --> 00:19:10,810
What are you doing?
449
00:19:14,550 --> 00:19:16,930
You are making this horrible.
I'm going to do whatever...
450
00:19:16,960 --> 00:19:18,930
FOOTSTEPS APPROACH
You dontt get... Hey.
451
00:19:18,960 --> 00:19:21,500
How did every...?
How was everything up there?
452
00:19:21,520 --> 00:19:24,930
You were right - it's a real
party in there. Oh, thank you!
453
00:19:24,960 --> 00:19:26,610
I 'd better be 0ff.
454
00:19:26,640 --> 00:19:28,010
Oh, are you sure? Because...
455
00:19:28,040 --> 00:19:30,380
Yeah, no, of course, yeah, yes.
456
00:19:30,400 --> 00:19:32,260
It was lovely to meet you.
457
00:19:32,280 --> 00:19:34,300
It was love* to meet you, Tom.
458
00:19:43,410 --> 00:19:46,210
I tm sorry. She...
It was great to see you, pal.
459
00:19:46,240 --> 00:19:48,140
You too, yeah.
SHE CHUCKLES
460
00:19:49,770 --> 00:19:51,520
Um, I tll sh...
I tll show you out, sorry.
461
00:19:51,550 --> 00:19:53,090
Uh, yeah. I'll just...
462
00:20:02,710 --> 00:20:05,160
I'll see you around. Yeah, totally.
463
00:20:08,910 --> 00:20:11,250
Go0dnight. N ight.
464
00:20:33,320 --> 00:20:36,610
Pal. pal?
465
00:20:36,640 --> 00:20:38,380
Yeah, it's not great.
466
00:20:46,560 --> 00:20:48,330
Fucking pal.
37609
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