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www.tvsubtitles.net
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"You sure about this?"
3
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"Yes, Gabrielle.
4
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OK, I'm gonna let you off here."
5
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"I can't believe you
wanna to without me."
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"I don't want to
go without you,
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but King Lias' message
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said the ceremony is tomorrow.
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I'll have to push Argo pretty hard
10
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to make it there myself."
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"I can follow you.
12
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I'll get there a day later.
13
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Look--
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if they want you there for
security reasons, then maybe there's a
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bigger probem than he's letting on."
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"Gabrielle, relax.
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Enjoy yourself for a couple o' days.
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00:00:42,216 --> 00:00:44,048
I can handle this without you."
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"Hmm. Fine.
20
00:00:46,515 --> 00:00:48,000
Maybe there are a few
problems around here
21
00:00:48,000 --> 00:00:49,657
that I can handle without you."
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"Well, if there are,
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I'm sure you're up to the challenge.
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See you in a couple o' days."
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00:00:56,270 --> 00:00:58,656
"'I'm sure you're
up to the challenge.'
26
00:00:58,906 --> 00:01:01,422
How patronizing can you get?!"
27
00:01:06,286 --> 00:01:07,765
Any time you're ready;
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it's your funeral. Ah-hah!
29
00:01:16,298 --> 00:01:17,391
You're next, Megalopolis.
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I'm gonna cut your
head off and feed
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it to the fishes!
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But first a special move
I'm gonna put on ya."
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00:01:28,863 --> 00:01:31,503
"Hey, Joxer. You all right?"
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"Great! Sh! Sh-Sh!
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I'm just listening to make sure no
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giants tracked me.
37
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Yeah-- and-- they didn't."
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"Mmm-- that's a load off my mind."
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"Yeah-- oh, wait!
Where's Xena?"
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"Ah-- she's off being a hero."
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00:02:00,616 --> 00:02:02,329
"Oh. How come you're
not with her?"
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"'Cause I'm a sidekick--
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obviously expendable,
44
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when push comes to shove."
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00:02:06,658 --> 00:02:07,775
"Hmm. Wait, wait, wait!
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That's great! Don't you get it?
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You're a sidekick without a hero.
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And I'm a hero without a sidekick."
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"Of course. You're a hero.
50
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A hero of what?"
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"I am Joxer the Mighty.
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I'm the greatest hero that ever was.
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I'm Joxer the mighty;
he roams through the country--"
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"Joxer--
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I'm not in the mood for this."
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"What?"
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"You know--
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one day you'll realize
what it really means to be a hero.
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And then you'll change your tune."
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"I am a hero.
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Look-- what would Xena
do in a situation like this?"
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"Like what?"
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00:02:47,563 --> 00:02:48,776
"Like um--
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you know-- walking."
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00:02:52,155 --> 00:02:54,780
"Actually, she would guard our rear."
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00:02:55,928 --> 00:02:57,030
"She would?"
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00:02:57,030 --> 00:02:59,701
"Mmm. And she'd stay _way
back to intercept anybody that
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might follow us."
69
00:03:01,127 --> 00:03:02,532
"Oh, 'cause like if we get
attacked from behind--"
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00:03:02,532 --> 00:03:03,686
"Ah, deadly."
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00:03:03,686 --> 00:03:04,888
"So, I could fight, I could--"
72
00:03:04,888 --> 00:03:06,048
"Yeah-- yep."
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"Great. I'll stay right back here.
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00:03:10,388 --> 00:03:11,497
Don't worry-- no one's
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gonna get _your_ rear."
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00:03:14,499 --> 00:03:16,956
"Cupid?! Where are you?"
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"Yo, Mom-- What up?"
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00:03:23,052 --> 00:03:25,732
"I have an overwhelming
sense of grodiness, Cupid."
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00:03:25,732 --> 00:03:27,200
"Why? What's the problem?"
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00:03:27,411 --> 00:03:29,615
"You did your gooey love
thing on Princess Ileandra and
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00:03:29,615 --> 00:03:31,043
Prince Sarpedon."
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00:03:31,424 --> 00:03:31,906
"Yeah--
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they're a cooking couple--
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it's set."
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00:03:33,495 --> 00:03:35,614
"But their marriage will
unite their two kingdoms!"
86
00:03:36,127 --> 00:03:37,125
"Exactly.
87
00:03:37,331 --> 00:03:38,404
Look, get to the point, Mom.
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00:03:38,404 --> 00:03:39,380
I'm real busy."
89
00:03:39,380 --> 00:03:42,581
"Their fathers plan to dismantle
my temples that line the border.
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00:03:42,581 --> 00:03:43,691
If I lose those temples,
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I'll have fewer than that
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00:03:44,560 --> 00:03:45,936
hagster, Athena."
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00:03:45,936 --> 00:03:47,837
"So you lose a few crummy temples!
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00:03:48,058 --> 00:03:48,858
Bit deal!
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00:03:49,072 --> 00:03:50,056
This is love!"
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00:03:50,056 --> 00:03:51,697
"That's way harsh, Cupid.
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00:03:52,780 --> 00:03:53,968
I'm Aphrodite,
the goddess of love.
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00:03:53,968 --> 00:03:55,373
Temples are my kahunas--
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00:03:55,373 --> 00:03:56,330
the way I know whether
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00:03:56,330 --> 00:03:57,641
I'm happening or not.
101
00:03:57,641 --> 00:03:59,109
Now, I want you to undo this thing."
102
00:03:59,109 --> 00:04:00,522
"No way! They're eloping!
103
00:04:00,522 --> 00:04:01,944
It'll be over before you know it!"
104
00:04:02,989 --> 00:04:05,312
"Oh! This is so not fair!
105
00:04:07,253 --> 00:04:08,614
Ah. You're forcing me to get involved."
106
00:04:08,614 --> 00:04:09,354
"I am not!"
107
00:04:09,354 --> 00:04:10,432
"Yes you are!
108
00:04:10,432 --> 00:04:13,219
I can whip up a major
jealousy rage in no time.
109
00:04:13,763 --> 00:04:14,980
All I need is an accomplice."
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00:04:14,980 --> 00:04:16,514
"You always do this!
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00:04:16,750 --> 00:04:18,483
You're gonna find some hero, right?
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00:04:18,483 --> 00:04:20,575
Like Theseus or Perseus--
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00:04:20,575 --> 00:04:22,056
throw your little lust-spell on 'em,
114
00:04:22,056 --> 00:04:23,045
then, pow!
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00:04:23,045 --> 00:04:24,167
They're your boy-toys."
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00:04:24,167 --> 00:04:25,765
"As if, Cupid.
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I don't need a hero.
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I can do it with anyone."
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"Anyone? I doubt it."
120
00:04:30,531 --> 00:04:32,579
"Well, then, I guess it's time
for the goddess of love to
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00:04:32,579 --> 00:04:33,794
prove to her son just
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how powerful she can be.
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00:04:35,743 --> 00:04:36,603
You name the dude--
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I'll work with him."
125
00:04:40,557 --> 00:04:41,634
"Anyone, huh?"
126
00:04:41,949 --> 00:04:43,337
"Anyone."
127
00:04:46,769 --> 00:04:49,135
"No one's gonna get me from
behind if I walk backwards.
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00:04:49,135 --> 00:04:52,931
Yeah, guard, guard, guard-- guard, guard"
129
00:04:55,136 --> 00:04:56,780
"Hi, there, studmuffin.
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00:04:57,932 --> 00:05:00,917
I mean you, big guy.
131
00:05:01,574 --> 00:05:04,337
I need a strong warrior
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00:05:04,337 --> 00:05:06,185
type to do me a favor.
133
00:05:06,830 --> 00:05:08,055
I'd be ever so grateful.
134
00:05:10,887 --> 00:05:12,949
Take this to Princess Ileandra."
135
00:05:13,158 --> 00:05:13,872
"Ileandra."
136
00:05:13,872 --> 00:05:15,574
"It's a wedding present."
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00:05:15,574 --> 00:05:16,563
"Present."
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00:05:16,563 --> 00:05:18,355
"Make sure you deliver it personally."
139
00:05:18,355 --> 00:05:22,762
"Oh, OK. Don't worry.
140
00:05:23,231 --> 00:05:24,293
I won't let you down.
141
00:05:25,875 --> 00:05:27,012
Hey-- you're
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00:05:27,012 --> 00:05:28,778
Aphrodite, aren't you?
143
00:05:33,951 --> 00:05:35,653
Don't worry, I'll bring it!"
144
00:05:53,684 --> 00:05:55,545
"No."
145
00:06:18,082 --> 00:06:19,456
"Break her in half."
146
00:06:27,121 --> 00:06:29,689
"Blood, valor, and victory!
147
00:06:30,207 --> 00:06:35,655
Hah-hah! Ah. Ah! Here you go!
148
00:06:55,578 --> 00:06:57,183
Watch that step."
149
00:07:28,794 --> 00:07:31,155
"He's so strong."
150
00:07:31,612 --> 00:07:33,514
"You saved us."
151
00:07:33,845 --> 00:07:34,861
"My hero."
152
00:07:36,588 --> 00:07:38,277
"My sword is always ready
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to pleasure you, my lady."
154
00:07:40,683 --> 00:07:42,967
"He's so good-looking."
155
00:07:59,242 --> 00:08:01,774
In a time of ancient gods,
156
00:08:03,820 --> 00:08:06,651
warlords, and kings,
157
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A land in turmoil
cried out for a hero.
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00:08:19,529 --> 00:08:21,289
She was Xena,
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00:08:22,026 --> 00:08:23,380
a mighty princess,
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00:08:23,699 --> 00:08:25,633
forged in the heat of battle.
161
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The power...
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00:08:33,343 --> 00:08:36,307
the passion...
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the danger...
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Her courage will
change the world...
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00:08:52,357 --> 00:08:53,655
"Ladies, please, please.
166
00:08:54,042 --> 00:08:55,711
"Excuse me. Excuse me.
Excuse me."
167
00:08:55,991 --> 00:08:57,287
"He's mine, Sister."
168
00:08:57,899 --> 00:08:59,135
"Please--
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00:08:59,135 --> 00:09:00,228
each of you is like a--
170
00:09:00,228 --> 00:09:02,131
rose in the garden of life.
171
00:09:03,163 --> 00:09:05,530
I've come to sample the
fragrance of but one."
172
00:09:06,072 --> 00:09:07,131
"Who?" "Who?"
173
00:09:07,447 --> 00:09:09,635
"Princess Ileandra."
174
00:09:09,845 --> 00:09:12,197
"Me-- that's me.
175
00:09:12,197 --> 00:09:13,740
I'm Princess Ileandra."
176
00:09:14,438 --> 00:09:15,760
"Then I have a gift for you.
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00:09:18,615 --> 00:09:19,943
It's golden finish is but a
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00:09:19,943 --> 00:09:21,239
dim glimmer of the shimmering
179
00:09:21,239 --> 00:09:23,100
radiance of your cream-like skin."
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00:09:23,100 --> 00:09:24,566
"Put it on, quick."
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00:09:28,179 --> 00:09:28,820
"Oh."
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00:09:28,820 --> 00:09:29,678
"Joxer."
183
00:09:29,678 --> 00:09:30,329
"Huh?"
184
00:09:30,329 --> 00:09:31,240
"That was amazing.
185
00:09:31,240 --> 00:09:32,440
What has gotten into you?"
186
00:09:32,440 --> 00:09:34,562
"Ah, ah-- I don't know.
187
00:09:34,562 --> 00:09:36,783
Um-- protecting your rear and uh--
188
00:09:37,365 --> 00:09:39,614
ah, dya-- where am I?"
189
00:09:39,836 --> 00:09:40,786
"Say that thing again--
190
00:09:40,786 --> 00:09:42,206
about my skin and cream."
191
00:09:42,206 --> 00:09:43,872
"Cream and-- skin?
192
00:09:43,872 --> 00:09:46,038
What? I don't know--
193
00:09:46,649 --> 00:09:48,954
who I am, anymore."
194
00:09:49,628 --> 00:09:51,284
"Thank the gods you
two arrived when you did.
195
00:09:51,557 --> 00:09:52,931
I'm Princess Ileandra of Mylon."
196
00:09:52,931 --> 00:09:53,754
"I'm Gabrielle.
197
00:09:54,525 --> 00:09:55,324
Where are you headed?"
198
00:09:55,324 --> 00:09:56,090
"Pyros--
199
00:09:56,090 --> 00:09:57,305
I'm going to elope
with my betrothed,
200
00:09:57,305 --> 00:09:58,493
Prince Sarpedon."
201
00:09:59,016 --> 00:09:59,823
"Mmm-- romantic."
202
00:09:59,823 --> 00:10:02,324
"Romantic, yes-- practical, no.
203
00:10:02,788 --> 00:10:03,808
I had no idea it was so
204
00:10:03,808 --> 00:10:05,245
dangerous outside of the castle.
205
00:10:05,526 --> 00:10:07,196
Would-- you go with us?
206
00:10:07,196 --> 00:10:08,306
I'd be so grateful.
207
00:10:08,306 --> 00:10:10,040
After all, you two
did save our lives."
208
00:10:10,447 --> 00:10:13,041
"Ow! Ah! Oh! Ow!
Ooh! You! Ahh!"
209
00:10:16,325 --> 00:10:19,467
"That is the guy
who saved us, isn't it?"
210
00:10:19,467 --> 00:10:20,874
"That's Joxer.
211
00:10:21,118 --> 00:10:22,158
He saved you."
212
00:10:23,525 --> 00:10:28,107
"I did? I mean, ah, oh,
213
00:10:28,107 --> 00:10:31,477
I did-- I did.
Yes-- umm-- sure,
214
00:10:31,477 --> 00:10:32,419
there must have been,
215
00:10:32,419 --> 00:10:33,562
uh-- twenty of them--
216
00:10:34,243 --> 00:10:36,653
or more-- or less.
217
00:10:37,961 --> 00:10:38,846
Whatever it was, I, you know--
218
00:10:38,846 --> 00:10:40,682
I-- I tore 'em apart with
my bare hands, so--"
219
00:10:42,402 --> 00:10:43,587
"So-- will you help us?"
220
00:10:44,401 --> 00:10:46,666
"Ah, Joxer-- are you up to this?"
221
00:10:47,008 --> 00:10:48,122
"Of course, of course,
222
00:10:48,122 --> 00:10:49,306
it's all coming back to me, now.
223
00:10:49,306 --> 00:10:50,967
They had cross-bows, right?
224
00:10:52,575 --> 00:10:55,461
I mean cata-- catapults? Chariots?
225
00:10:56,189 --> 00:10:56,948
Whatever-- I mean,
226
00:10:56,948 --> 00:10:58,359
I was very fierce when I--
227
00:10:58,359 --> 00:10:59,293
when I took them
228
00:10:59,293 --> 00:11:00,250
out and-- listen,
229
00:11:00,250 --> 00:11:01,731
as far as your
skin is concerned-- ah,
230
00:11:01,731 --> 00:11:03,875
it reminds me of-- cream--
231
00:11:03,875 --> 00:11:05,067
just before it curdles--
232
00:11:05,067 --> 00:11:05,949
'cause that's
233
00:11:05,949 --> 00:11:06,999
when it's the best."
234
00:11:14,490 --> 00:11:16,998
"There's nothing like a wedding
to bring two families together.
235
00:11:17,319 --> 00:11:18,604
To you, Linius.
236
00:11:18,604 --> 00:11:21,008
And peace to both our kingdoms."
237
00:11:21,008 --> 00:11:22,276
"And you, Baris.
238
00:11:22,556 --> 00:11:24,915
Peace between our kingdoms."
239
00:11:25,681 --> 00:11:27,550
"It's a done deal,
Mom-- Give it up."
240
00:11:28,100 --> 00:11:29,696
"It's been a long time coming.
241
00:11:30,115 --> 00:11:31,679
Now, to rid ourselves of
242
00:11:31,679 --> 00:11:33,225
these pesky temples to Aphrodite."
243
00:11:33,225 --> 00:11:35,101
"Pesky!"
244
00:11:35,771 --> 00:11:36,647
"This one on your
245
00:11:36,853 --> 00:11:38,977
land blocks my view of the river."
246
00:11:40,462 --> 00:11:42,159
"Who would wanna look at a stupid river,
247
00:11:42,159 --> 00:11:43,710
when you could look at me?
248
00:11:44,052 --> 00:11:45,441
Tell him, Linius."
249
00:11:47,148 --> 00:11:48,066
"Done.
250
00:11:48,066 --> 00:11:50,659
I've always thought this one was ugly."
251
00:11:50,867 --> 00:11:52,182
"Ugly?!"
252
00:11:52,730 --> 00:11:54,521
"Hey, show some class, Mom.
253
00:11:54,775 --> 00:11:55,636
You can't always have
254
00:11:55,636 --> 00:11:57,115
everything your way.
255
00:12:02,431 --> 00:12:03,427
"King Linius.
256
00:12:03,645 --> 00:12:04,849
It pains me to reveal this.
257
00:12:04,849 --> 00:12:05,690
But I feel it my duty
258
00:12:05,690 --> 00:12:07,401
as a lady of honor to inform you."
259
00:12:07,401 --> 00:12:08,744
"I know what you're gonna say.
260
00:12:09,006 --> 00:12:10,005
They're eloping."
261
00:12:10,005 --> 00:12:10,942
"What?!"
262
00:12:10,942 --> 00:12:14,366
"Yes-- my spies are more
effective than yours, my friend.
263
00:12:14,717 --> 00:12:15,663
Don't be alarmed.
264
00:12:16,246 --> 00:12:18,903
It'll just save us the expense
of a wedding banquet."
265
00:12:18,903 --> 00:12:21,963
"Yes-- yes-- good."
266
00:12:24,146 --> 00:12:24,964
"Careful, Cupid.
267
00:12:24,964 --> 00:12:25,993
You know I always win."
268
00:12:25,993 --> 00:12:27,918
"It's not the elopement I speak of.
269
00:12:27,918 --> 00:12:29,341
I saw Princess Ileandra
270
00:12:29,341 --> 00:12:30,726
in the arms of another man--
271
00:12:31,671 --> 00:12:33,232
a gallant warrior named Joxer."
272
00:12:33,232 --> 00:12:33,837
"Nonsense!
273
00:12:33,837 --> 00:12:34,888
Take it back, woman!"
274
00:12:34,888 --> 00:12:35,812
"Oh, it's true.
275
00:12:35,812 --> 00:12:37,230
My friend saw it, too."
276
00:12:37,230 --> 00:12:39,166
"Then I withdraw my approval
from the marriage!
277
00:12:39,166 --> 00:12:41,778
I can't have my son
marrying a harlot!"
278
00:12:41,778 --> 00:12:43,088
"Who are you calling a harlot?!
279
00:12:43,088 --> 00:12:44,761
This is vicious slander!"
280
00:12:44,761 --> 00:12:45,511
"Perhaps--
281
00:12:45,511 --> 00:12:48,182
but I'm stopping all negotiations
till we get to the bottom of this."
282
00:12:48,182 --> 00:12:51,919
"No! I'm stopping all negotiations
until I get to the bottom of this!"
283
00:12:57,108 --> 00:12:59,012
"Lust versus love.
284
00:12:59,235 --> 00:13:00,763
You're just over your head,Sonny."
285
00:13:01,041 --> 00:13:02,012
"How could you do that?!
286
00:13:02,012 --> 00:13:03,294
That's way not fair!"
287
00:13:03,294 --> 00:13:04,185
"All right--
288
00:13:04,185 --> 00:13:05,829
I suggest we continue
this conversation when
289
00:13:05,829 --> 00:13:07,173
we've both mellowed.
290
00:13:07,986 --> 00:13:09,041
I'm outta here."
291
00:13:18,588 --> 00:13:19,788
"Oh, I guess I love Sarpedon because
292
00:13:19,788 --> 00:13:20,916
he's the most caring,
293
00:13:20,916 --> 00:13:23,119
loving, sensitive man you ever want to meet."
294
00:13:23,119 --> 00:13:24,068
"He's also--
295
00:13:24,068 --> 00:13:25,543
the luckiest man in the world."
296
00:13:27,673 --> 00:13:28,552
"I guess that's--
297
00:13:28,552 --> 00:13:30,212
that's Prince Sarpedon."
298
00:13:33,556 --> 00:13:35,256
"What's he got that I haven't got?"
299
00:13:35,705 --> 00:13:38,884
"Well, Princess Ileandra
for starters, and-- muscles."
300
00:13:39,767 --> 00:13:40,823
"OK, OK, OK."
301
00:13:42,274 --> 00:13:44,842
"Umm-- I'd like you to
meet my new friends.
302
00:13:44,842 --> 00:13:46,275
This is Gabrielle and--
303
00:13:46,824 --> 00:13:48,214
what was your name again?"
304
00:13:48,214 --> 00:13:51,112
"Joxer, for the tenth time."
305
00:13:51,112 --> 00:13:53,680
"Right-- they escorted us safely here."
306
00:13:53,680 --> 00:13:54,844
"I thank you."
307
00:13:55,838 --> 00:13:57,481
"Yes, thank you for everything."
308
00:13:57,481 --> 00:13:59,172
"I'm glad we could bring you together."
309
00:14:00,233 --> 00:14:01,637
"Bye-bye."
310
00:14:01,952 --> 00:14:04,041
"Don't you just love happy endings?"
311
00:14:04,041 --> 00:14:05,604
"Yeah-- but just once,
312
00:14:05,604 --> 00:14:07,791
I'd like to have a happy ending."
313
00:14:12,670 --> 00:14:13,577
"Mmm."
314
00:14:14,016 --> 00:14:14,903
"Wait a minute.
315
00:14:14,903 --> 00:14:16,980
You're saying I fought
all of them and won?"
316
00:14:17,309 --> 00:14:19,480
"Yes-- maybe you hit your head,
317
00:14:19,480 --> 00:14:20,936
and that's why you can't remember."
318
00:14:21,779 --> 00:14:22,798
"I don't think so."
319
00:14:23,265 --> 00:14:23,921
"Mmm."
320
00:14:23,921 --> 00:14:26,246
"I think it was more like a warrior haze."
321
00:14:27,158 --> 00:14:28,375
"A warrior haze?"
322
00:14:28,752 --> 00:14:29,706
"Yeah-- you know?
323
00:14:30,194 --> 00:14:31,361
OK-- enemy's coming at you;
324
00:14:31,361 --> 00:14:32,275
heart's pounding;
325
00:14:32,275 --> 00:14:33,118
your muscles are flexing.
326
00:14:33,118 --> 00:14:34,637
Then your mind shuts down
327
00:14:34,637 --> 00:14:36,126
and lets your body take over."
328
00:14:36,659 --> 00:14:39,474
"Right. Well, you seem fine, Joxer.
329
00:14:40,968 --> 00:14:42,690
And Ileandra's with Sarpedon.
330
00:14:42,690 --> 00:14:44,327
So I guess all's well that ends well."
331
00:14:44,327 --> 00:14:46,519
"Yoo-hoo! Joxer--
332
00:14:47,317 --> 00:14:48,904
over here.
333
00:14:50,440 --> 00:14:52,381
You disappoint me, Joxer.
334
00:14:52,692 --> 00:14:55,393
I thought you'd cruise the
hero wave with the happy couple.
335
00:14:55,773 --> 00:14:59,124
You know make sure
they get home safely."
336
00:15:00,405 --> 00:15:01,237
"Wait a minute.
337
00:15:01,517 --> 00:15:04,577
You mean, Sarpedon and
Ileandra need my help?"
338
00:15:04,887 --> 00:15:08,310
"Duh! Oh, and one other thing--
339
00:15:13,117 --> 00:15:16,666
"Your beauty inspires me
to do the manliest of deeds."
340
00:15:22,010 --> 00:15:25,182
"Ooh! I am so good;
341
00:15:25,182 --> 00:15:28,021
but when I'm bad, I'm better."
342
00:15:38,455 --> 00:15:39,423
"I'm so happy to be with you.
343
00:15:39,423 --> 00:15:40,706
I never wanna leave."
344
00:15:40,706 --> 00:15:44,254
"Well-- why don't we
just get married now?"
345
00:15:45,240 --> 00:15:45,939
"Here?"
346
00:15:45,939 --> 00:15:47,988
"Sure-- the gods
are smiling on us.
347
00:15:48,204 --> 00:15:48,986
Our friends are here.
348
00:15:48,986 --> 00:15:49,922
Why not?"
349
00:15:49,922 --> 00:15:51,647
"But we need a priest
to bless our union."
350
00:15:52,281 --> 00:15:57,582
"Yeah. Would, um
that one there do?"
351
00:15:57,582 --> 00:16:00,070
"Oh, Sarpedon-- yes."
352
00:16:04,151 --> 00:16:05,925
"Your eyes speak of desire.
353
00:16:05,925 --> 00:16:08,168
Your lips of ecstasy."
354
00:16:08,471 --> 00:16:09,264
"Hi, Joxer."
355
00:16:09,264 --> 00:16:10,173
"Sarpedon.
356
00:16:11,484 --> 00:16:12,650
"You ready, my beloved?"
357
00:16:12,650 --> 00:16:13,724
"Ecstasy."
358
00:16:14,074 --> 00:16:15,388
"Soon, my darling, soon.
359
00:16:18,404 --> 00:16:21,408
Ileandra-- I have waited so long
360
00:16:21,408 --> 00:16:22,826
for this moment, I can barely--"
361
00:16:22,826 --> 00:16:24,335
"Joxer! Hah!
362
00:16:24,335 --> 00:16:27,184
There you are. Sorry."
363
00:16:29,640 --> 00:16:30,997
"Ileandra, my love--
364
00:16:32,062 --> 00:16:33,922
I tell you from the
depths of my soul,--
365
00:16:34,954 --> 00:16:36,303
I love you."
366
00:16:37,022 --> 00:16:37,927
"I love you--
367
00:16:38,641 --> 00:16:41,752
not you-- him."
368
00:16:53,812 --> 00:16:54,204
"Ileandra!
369
00:16:54,204 --> 00:16:55,612
What is the meaning of this?!"
370
00:16:56,302 --> 00:16:57,768
"I think it's as obvious as the--
371
00:16:57,768 --> 00:16:59,084
deep azure which sparkles
372
00:16:59,084 --> 00:17:00,688
in my lady's eyes.
373
00:17:01,486 --> 00:17:04,440
Ileandra-- has made her choice."
374
00:17:04,690 --> 00:17:06,705
"How dare you come between us?"
375
00:17:07,453 --> 00:17:09,002
"Joxer, cut it out!"
376
00:17:09,234 --> 00:17:10,022
"Gabrielle--
377
00:17:10,226 --> 00:17:12,535
a man must do what a man must do."
378
00:17:13,055 --> 00:17:14,891
"Ah-uh."
379
00:17:20,265 --> 00:17:22,328
"You will not take Ileandra from me."
380
00:17:29,363 --> 00:17:32,675
You fight with passion,
my friend-- I like that.
381
00:17:33,190 --> 00:17:34,686
It's too bad you have no skill."
382
00:17:47,001 --> 00:17:48,128
"This necklace--
383
00:17:48,128 --> 00:17:49,655
is it a gift from you?"
384
00:17:50,173 --> 00:17:51,389
"A trinket--
385
00:17:51,389 --> 00:17:54,520
most unworthy of my Ileandra's beauty.
386
00:17:57,929 --> 00:17:58,830
Where?
387
00:17:59,613 --> 00:18:00,940
Who are the-- Gaby?
388
00:18:01,702 --> 00:18:05,097
Ow! No! Stop! Wait!
389
00:18:05,097 --> 00:18:06,287
What's the problem?!"
390
00:18:07,300 --> 00:18:10,418
"You dare to ask me that, after
giving Ileandra a gift of love?"
391
00:18:10,418 --> 00:18:11,859
"Gift-- this?
392
00:18:12,124 --> 00:18:14,151
Here-- take it!
393
00:18:16,073 --> 00:18:18,027
You tangle with the
wrong man, my friend.
394
00:18:29,917 --> 00:18:31,441
Go home, gallant boy--
395
00:18:33,902 --> 00:18:37,707
for your only crime is
that you love too well."
396
00:18:51,728 --> 00:18:53,983
"Oh, you set me on fire."
397
00:18:53,983 --> 00:18:55,210
"I know."
398
00:19:00,524 --> 00:19:01,685
"That sucks.
399
00:19:02,699 --> 00:19:03,787
Well, you've done it, Mom.
400
00:19:04,013 --> 00:19:04,560
You've managed to
401
00:19:04,560 --> 00:19:06,932
mess up yet another one
of my perfect matches.
402
00:19:06,932 --> 00:19:09,528
How can you call yourself
the goddess of love?"
403
00:19:09,528 --> 00:19:12,133
"Oh, get a grip, Cupie!
404
00:19:12,744 --> 00:19:14,762
Love isn't just about
happy endings.
405
00:19:14,994 --> 00:19:18,802
There's also jealous love,
and-- unrequited love,
406
00:19:18,802 --> 00:19:20,007
and tragic love.
407
00:19:20,606 --> 00:19:22,333
And when you strip
away all the tinsel,
408
00:19:22,333 --> 00:19:26,010
it's really just about hormones,
isn't it?
409
00:19:27,118 --> 00:19:29,849
Don't frown--
it'll give you lines."
410
00:19:33,988 --> 00:19:35,772
"No, no, no! No, look!
411
00:19:36,082 --> 00:19:37,613
I don't-- I don't know
what's going on--
412
00:19:37,613 --> 00:19:39,142
whether it's some sort
of sickness or something.
413
00:19:39,142 --> 00:19:40,095
But I'm gonna find out.
414
00:19:40,906 --> 00:19:41,735
And I'm gonna take you back
415
00:19:41,735 --> 00:19:42,831
to the man that you love."
416
00:19:42,831 --> 00:19:43,755
"I'm with the man I love.
417
00:19:43,755 --> 00:19:45,053
Can't you just leave us alone?
418
00:19:45,268 --> 00:19:47,750
We'll set the world
aflame with our passion."
419
00:19:49,566 --> 00:19:50,800
"Don't fight the heart, Gabrielle.
420
00:19:51,141 --> 00:19:53,234
It's a powerful little muscle."
421
00:19:54,597 --> 00:19:55,941
"I want to become one with you."
422
00:19:56,362 --> 00:19:56,858
"Hmm."
423
00:19:56,858 --> 00:19:58,128
"Can't we lose your sidekick?"
424
00:19:58,128 --> 00:19:59,357
"Sure."
425
00:20:00,068 --> 00:20:01,641
"I think I'm gonna be sick."
426
00:20:01,912 --> 00:20:03,935
"And you allowed
this man to disarm you--
427
00:20:03,935 --> 00:20:04,947
and steal Ileandra?
428
00:20:04,947 --> 00:20:06,147
"He was an excellent swordsman,
Father.
429
00:20:06,147 --> 00:20:07,539
Perhaps even better than you."
430
00:20:09,222 --> 00:20:10,911
"He must be a hired man.
431
00:20:11,460 --> 00:20:12,864
Perhaps King Baris didn't favor
432
00:20:12,864 --> 00:20:14,211
your marriage, after all."
433
00:20:14,211 --> 00:20:15,338
"He was fierce and passionate.
434
00:20:15,338 --> 00:20:17,311
A man like that can't be bought."
435
00:20:17,311 --> 00:20:18,894
"Can you be certain of that?
436
00:20:21,237 --> 00:20:22,467
We will attack at dawn."
437
00:20:22,467 --> 00:20:28,325
"No! Ileandra went with him willingly.
438
00:20:29,535 --> 00:20:31,285
She has feelings for this warrior.
439
00:20:32,231 --> 00:20:34,403
She's made her choice.
440
00:20:35,136 --> 00:20:35,751
I'm not gonna stand
441
00:20:35,751 --> 00:20:37,236
in the way of her happiness."
442
00:20:48,951 --> 00:20:50,626
"Prepare the men!"
443
00:20:50,833 --> 00:20:52,827
"For an attack on Baris' kingdom?"
444
00:20:52,827 --> 00:20:54,581
"No, for an all-out search--
445
00:20:54,988 --> 00:20:57,201
for the warrior named-- Joxer."
446
00:20:57,201 --> 00:20:58,652
"Yes, sir."
447
00:21:02,817 --> 00:21:05,020
"No one humiliates my son--
448
00:21:05,225 --> 00:21:06,958
and gets away with it!"
449
00:21:07,957 --> 00:21:09,221
"Now, let's go over this again."
450
00:21:09,443 --> 00:21:10,953
"I already told you--
451
00:21:11,598 --> 00:21:13,149
I know nothing of this bumbling idiot
452
00:21:13,149 --> 00:21:14,115
of whom you speak.
453
00:21:14,115 --> 00:21:15,208
I am the one and only Joxer."
454
00:21:15,208 --> 00:21:16,194
"Isn't he magnificent?"
455
00:21:16,877 --> 00:21:17,595
"Mmm."
456
00:21:17,595 --> 00:21:18,940
"Ileandra-- Joxer--
457
00:21:19,610 --> 00:21:21,875
look! Now--
458
00:21:21,875 --> 00:21:23,853
it has something to
do with the necklace.
459
00:21:24,132 --> 00:21:25,497
Every time it rings, you change.
460
00:21:25,914 --> 00:21:28,361
How about some cold water?
461
00:21:30,232 --> 00:21:31,698
This is ridiculous.
462
00:21:32,892 --> 00:21:34,170
Don't touch her, Joxer.
463
00:21:45,622 --> 00:21:47,578
Cut it out!"
464
00:21:58,652 --> 00:22:00,326
"Come here."
465
00:22:07,811 --> 00:22:09,783
"Guys, stop it!
466
00:22:11,384 --> 00:22:12,932
I've had enough of-- oh!
467
00:22:13,369 --> 00:22:14,869
It's gonna be a long night.
468
00:22:15,591 --> 00:22:17,627
Oh, this is so sick!"
469
00:22:24,722 --> 00:22:26,440
"He never needs a
place to hide--
470
00:22:26,440 --> 00:22:28,964
with Gaby as his sidekick."
471
00:22:28,964 --> 00:22:30,440
"Sire, we'll find him!"
472
00:22:31,363 --> 00:22:33,916
"Sounds like a small army."
473
00:22:43,376 --> 00:22:44,861
"It's probably King Linius.
474
00:22:45,093 --> 00:22:46,077
He'll be furious I cancelled my
475
00:22:46,077 --> 00:22:47,470
wedding with Sarpedon."
476
00:22:48,233 --> 00:22:49,332
"Don't be afraid, my love."
477
00:22:49,660 --> 00:22:50,519
"Ileandra's right.
478
00:22:51,407 --> 00:22:52,250
They're looking for someone.
479
00:22:53,270 --> 00:22:53,708
Now, come on--
480
00:22:53,708 --> 00:22:55,240
maybe we can find
another way out of here."
481
00:22:55,598 --> 00:22:56,819
"You're not suggesting
we run, are you?"
482
00:22:57,594 --> 00:22:58,657
"Have you got a better idea?"
483
00:22:59,015 --> 00:23:01,827
"Hmm-- we stand and fight."
484
00:23:01,827 --> 00:23:04,082
"Joxer-- I don't think that's wise."
485
00:23:04,592 --> 00:23:07,429
"Whatever happens--
our love will never die."
486
00:23:08,891 --> 00:23:10,297
"No, but he might."
487
00:23:28,894 --> 00:23:29,925
"Hold up!"
488
00:23:30,996 --> 00:23:34,804
"Look no further-- I am Joxer."
489
00:23:36,100 --> 00:23:37,568
"Stay together!
490
00:23:37,568 --> 00:23:40,082
He's a dangerous man. Forward!"
491
00:23:43,211 --> 00:23:48,932
"Come! Your destiny lies
at the point of my sword.
492
00:23:50,191 --> 00:23:53,519
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha."
493
00:23:54,240 --> 00:23:55,695
"Joxer, what are you doing?
494
00:23:57,725 --> 00:23:58,851
Don't be a fool."
495
00:24:01,794 --> 00:24:04,138
"Oh, sold-- oh, oh."
496
00:24:06,726 --> 00:24:07,613
"Uh-oh."
497
00:24:09,540 --> 00:24:10,600
"Joxer!"
498
00:24:13,556 --> 00:24:14,826
"Take them back to Amphis
499
00:24:14,826 --> 00:24:15,871
They're to be executed for
500
00:24:15,871 --> 00:24:17,043
threatening the peace."
501
00:24:17,043 --> 00:24:19,495
"Wait! They're my friends."
502
00:24:19,495 --> 00:24:22,666
"You're lucky I don't sentence
you to the same fate--
503
00:24:22,666 --> 00:24:23,977
you harlot!
Take them!"
504
00:24:26,286 --> 00:24:28,255
"Joxer!"
505
00:24:29,567 --> 00:24:30,660
"Up you go!"
506
00:24:31,067 --> 00:24:31,981
"Joxer!"
507
00:24:35,166 --> 00:24:36,208
"It was all a mistake."
508
00:24:36,208 --> 00:24:37,552
"Yes, and the mistake was yours.
509
00:24:37,552 --> 00:24:38,682
You toyed with my son's
510
00:24:38,682 --> 00:24:39,677
heart when all the while,
511
00:24:39,677 --> 00:24:40,833
you loved another."
512
00:24:40,833 --> 00:24:41,708
"Please, King Linius,
513
00:24:41,708 --> 00:24:42,583
let me try to explain."
514
00:24:42,583 --> 00:24:43,388
"Don't bother!
515
00:24:43,388 --> 00:24:44,307
You obviously chose that...
516
00:24:44,307 --> 00:24:45,413
I won't let my
517
00:24:45,413 --> 00:24:46,978
son be humiliated this way!"
518
00:24:46,978 --> 00:24:49,787
"Wow-- did you hear that?
519
00:24:49,787 --> 00:24:51,354
Ileandra's really
in love with me.
520
00:24:52,795 --> 00:24:54,841
She chose me over Sarpedon."
521
00:24:55,536 --> 00:24:56,748
"No, Joxer.
522
00:24:57,347 --> 00:24:59,577
She chose the other
one the other Joxer.
523
00:24:59,982 --> 00:25:02,357
The one who just stupidly beat
Sarpedon in Battle,
524
00:25:02,357 --> 00:25:04,700
and then romanced Ileandra
from under his nose."
525
00:25:05,034 --> 00:25:07,058
"Wow, I really did that.
526
00:25:08,294 --> 00:25:09,565
No wonder they put
me in these chains.
527
00:25:09,565 --> 00:25:12,311
There's no telling
what I might do! Wow,
528
00:25:12,311 --> 00:25:13,515
this warrior haze is really great.
529
00:25:13,811 --> 00:25:14,812
I'm gonna put myself
under again."
530
00:25:18,022 --> 00:25:18,976
"Knock it off!"
531
00:25:18,976 --> 00:25:20,182
"Ooh! Oww!"
532
00:25:20,442 --> 00:25:21,712
"You can't control it, Joxer.
533
00:25:21,981 --> 00:25:23,089
You're under some sort of--
534
00:25:23,089 --> 00:25:25,321
hypnotic spell, or something.
535
00:25:25,574 --> 00:25:27,453
Any bell ringing transforms you.
536
00:25:27,453 --> 00:25:28,664
Not just the necklace.
537
00:25:30,100 --> 00:25:31,016
Where did you get it?"
538
00:25:31,261 --> 00:25:32,074
"I don't remember."
539
00:25:32,665 --> 00:25:33,619
"Well, think about it.
540
00:25:34,290 --> 00:25:35,215
Did anything unusual happen
to you that morning?"
541
00:25:37,673 --> 00:25:39,890
"Uhhh-- I woke up, and I ate breakfast."
542
00:25:40,389 --> 00:25:41,202
"After that?"
543
00:25:42,130 --> 00:25:45,298
"Um-- um-- yeah, I, ah--
544
00:25:45,537 --> 00:25:47,677
found you-- um-- guarded your rear,
545
00:25:48,202 --> 00:25:49,780
met Aphrodite, had a pomegranite--
546
00:25:49,780 --> 00:25:50,805
it had a lot of seeds.
547
00:25:50,805 --> 00:25:52,136
- I don't like the kind with--"
- "Wait a minute.
548
00:25:52,136 --> 00:25:53,637
Did you say you met Aphrodite?"
549
00:25:53,637 --> 00:25:55,619
"Yeah-- she was hot, too."
550
00:25:55,619 --> 00:25:59,119
"Well, she must want to break up
Ileandra and Sarpedon.
551
00:25:59,119 --> 00:26:01,423
And she's using you to do it.
552
00:26:02,794 --> 00:26:04,229
I'm gonna find her."
553
00:26:04,229 --> 00:26:05,840
"Hey! I know what you're gonna do.
554
00:26:05,840 --> 00:26:07,230
You're gonna find a bell to ring,
555
00:26:07,230 --> 00:26:09,408
so I can get out of
these chains, aren't you?"
556
00:26:09,408 --> 00:26:10,653
"Hah. No, no, no.
557
00:26:11,058 --> 00:26:12,514
No-- you're becoming a super-sexy
558
00:26:12,514 --> 00:26:14,385
warrior is what got us into this mess."
559
00:26:15,302 --> 00:26:16,984
"I'm disappointed in you, Gabrielle."
560
00:26:17,280 --> 00:26:18,050
"What?"
561
00:26:19,074 --> 00:26:20,198
"I think you're jealous.
562
00:26:20,198 --> 00:26:21,261
I can understand that.
563
00:26:21,261 --> 00:26:21,964
I mean--
564
00:26:21,964 --> 00:26:23,465
you wanna be the hero so bad,
565
00:26:23,465 --> 00:26:24,816
you can't stand the thought of me
566
00:26:24,816 --> 00:26:25,889
saving the day.
567
00:26:27,420 --> 00:26:30,811
Gabrielle, there's nothing
wrong with being a sidekick."
568
00:26:31,018 --> 00:26:32,176
"Glad you like it, Joxer.
569
00:26:32,176 --> 00:26:33,500
You'll make a great sidekick.
570
00:26:33,500 --> 00:26:35,370
Just-- hang in there and keep the faith."
571
00:26:35,370 --> 00:26:38,205
"I'm not a sidekick; I'm a hero!
572
00:26:42,449 --> 00:26:44,092
Joxer the Mighty
573
00:26:44,092 --> 00:26:45,861
roams through the countryside,
574
00:26:45,861 --> 00:26:47,576
he never needs a place to hide.
575
00:26:47,794 --> 00:26:49,810
With Gaby as his sidekick,
576
00:26:49,810 --> 00:26:51,223
fighting with her little stick.
577
00:26:51,223 --> 00:26:53,607
Righting wrongs and singing songs.
578
00:26:53,904 --> 00:26:56,374
Being mightly all day long.
579
00:26:56,374 --> 00:26:58,841
He's Joxer, he's Joxer the Mighty.
580
00:26:58,841 --> 00:27:01,468
Oh, he's Joxer the Mighty,
581
00:27:01,468 --> 00:27:02,786
he's really tidy.
582
00:27:02,786 --> 00:27:04,437
Everybody likes him
583
00:27:04,437 --> 00:27:05,990
'cause he has a funny grin.
584
00:27:05,990 --> 00:27:08,789
Joxer! He's Joxer the Mighty!
585
00:27:21,349 --> 00:27:22,675
"Enter!
586
00:27:25,778 --> 00:27:27,295
Do you have word of Ileandra?"
587
00:27:27,295 --> 00:27:28,319
"Yes, King Baris.
588
00:27:28,319 --> 00:27:30,451
The Princess has been taken to Amphis
589
00:27:30,451 --> 00:27:31,655
by King Linius and his personal guard."
590
00:27:31,655 --> 00:27:32,585
"His guard?
591
00:27:32,585 --> 00:27:33,620
Why did he need soldiers?
592
00:27:33,620 --> 00:27:34,938
And where is Sarpedon?
593
00:27:34,938 --> 00:27:37,542
Prepare my horse!
594
00:27:38,356 --> 00:27:40,471
I'm going to Amphis
to get my daughter."
595
00:27:50,250 --> 00:27:51,400
"Aphrodite? Aphrodite.
596
00:28:00,211 --> 00:28:02,203
I'd-- I'd like to talk to you.
597
00:28:03,954 --> 00:28:04,894
If you can hear me--"
598
00:28:07,535 --> 00:28:10,332
"Could you be any more clumsy?!
599
00:28:10,332 --> 00:28:15,014
This is like a brand-new antique."
600
00:28:15,779 --> 00:28:16,924
"Aphorodite."
601
00:28:19,177 --> 00:28:21,780
You're that goody-two
shoes that hangs around my boy,
602
00:28:21,780 --> 00:28:23,038
Joxer."
603
00:28:23,366 --> 00:28:24,189
"Gabrielle."
604
00:28:24,530 --> 00:28:25,343
"Mmm."
605
00:28:25,343 --> 00:28:27,514
"Ah, Joxer is the reason that I'm here.
606
00:28:28,519 --> 00:28:30,365
Look, you have got to
take the spell off of him--
607
00:28:30,365 --> 00:28:31,603
and everybody else."
608
00:28:32,020 --> 00:28:33,016
"Why should I do that?"
609
00:28:34,311 --> 00:28:36,381
"Now, I'm sure there's a reason
why you're doing this.
610
00:28:36,381 --> 00:28:39,171
But it can't be worth breaking
up Ileandra and Sarpedon.
611
00:28:39,739 --> 00:28:40,836
They're in love.
612
00:28:41,485 --> 00:28:43,691
That _is_ what matters
to you most, isn't it?"
613
00:28:43,691 --> 00:28:46,159
"Ah, gosh-- she sounds
like you, Cupid."
614
00:28:47,221 --> 00:28:51,563
"Cupid-- can you talk
her out of this?"
615
00:28:52,024 --> 00:28:53,785
"What's your name, little girl?"
616
00:28:54,352 --> 00:28:55,397
"Gabrielle."
617
00:28:55,397 --> 00:28:56,784
"Gabrielle.
618
00:28:57,190 --> 00:28:58,487
Well, Gabrielle,
619
00:28:58,487 --> 00:28:59,578
when the goddess of love
620
00:28:59,578 --> 00:29:02,135
decides to do something
petty and spiteful,
621
00:29:02,135 --> 00:29:05,109
she can be a tad difficult
to reason with."
622
00:29:07,252 --> 00:29:07,865
"So you're going to
623
00:29:07,865 --> 00:29:09,394
let an innocent man die?"
624
00:29:09,394 --> 00:29:10,814
"Oh, come on!
625
00:29:11,095 --> 00:29:12,408
No one's really innocent.
626
00:29:12,617 --> 00:29:15,266
Well-- maybe you.
627
00:29:16,206 --> 00:29:18,595
Besides-- I can't break the spell.
628
00:29:18,595 --> 00:29:19,477
If I did, everyone would
629
00:29:19,477 --> 00:29:21,876
think I was pressured
into it by some mortal.
630
00:29:22,180 --> 00:29:23,455
My goddess stock
would plummet."
631
00:29:23,455 --> 00:29:24,158
"But--"
632
00:29:24,158 --> 00:29:25,522
"I gotta bail.
633
00:29:25,522 --> 00:29:28,390
Bodacious waves at Naxos.
Later."
634
00:29:31,978 --> 00:29:33,445
"If I can get her to break the spell,
635
00:29:33,655 --> 00:29:35,298
can you set everything
straight again?"
636
00:29:35,298 --> 00:29:36,199
"Sure, but--
637
00:29:36,199 --> 00:29:38,074
there isn't anything
you can do about it."
638
00:29:38,718 --> 00:29:39,713
"Oh, no.
639
00:29:40,465 --> 00:29:42,471
Get those arrows of yours ready."
640
00:29:49,087 --> 00:29:49,996
"Hey, where're you taking me?!"
641
00:29:59,254 --> 00:30:00,472
"How could you do
this to me, Joxer?"
642
00:30:00,692 --> 00:30:01,147
"What?!"
643
00:30:01,147 --> 00:30:03,205
"How could you steal the
only woman I have ever loved?"
644
00:30:03,456 --> 00:30:04,504
"I didn't mean to."
645
00:30:06,115 --> 00:30:07,455
"Yeah-- sure.
646
00:30:07,455 --> 00:30:09,079
That's what all you great warriors say, but
647
00:30:09,079 --> 00:30:10,992
you always have to end up
with the most beautiful women,
648
00:30:10,992 --> 00:30:12,681
don't you?
Tell me, Joxer,
649
00:30:12,681 --> 00:30:13,805
what's your secret?"
650
00:30:14,010 --> 00:30:16,834
"Well, I-- try to eat right,
exercise, although, uh-- I do
651
00:30:17,161 --> 00:30:20,050
get a little constipated
sometimes. You know?"
652
00:30:20,610 --> 00:30:23,863
"Having found the accused guilty
of threatening the peace--
653
00:30:24,197 --> 00:30:26,581
I hearby sentence him to public
execution
654
00:30:27,377 --> 00:30:30,534
pubishment to be
carried out forthwith."
655
00:30:30,782 --> 00:30:32,125
"Oh, ah, ah-- listen.
656
00:30:32,331 --> 00:30:33,768
Why don't we talk about this? I um--
657
00:30:33,768 --> 00:30:34,676
we could have lunch.
658
00:30:34,676 --> 00:30:36,596
There's a great place right
near Akmar the meat man.
659
00:30:36,596 --> 00:30:39,099
Gabrielle, where are you?!"
660
00:30:42,694 --> 00:30:43,613
"Sarpedon, please--
661
00:30:44,093 --> 00:30:45,298
stop this insanity.
662
00:30:46,501 --> 00:30:47,579
I don't love Joxer.
663
00:30:47,579 --> 00:30:48,595
I never did.
664
00:30:48,846 --> 00:30:50,082
I love you and only you."
665
00:30:50,470 --> 00:30:53,456
"You would say anything to
save Joxer's life right now.
666
00:30:53,958 --> 00:30:55,646
I have seen you with him, Ileandra.
667
00:30:56,346 --> 00:30:57,502
I know you love him."
668
00:30:57,502 --> 00:30:59,648
"No-- it was all a mistake."
669
00:30:59,648 --> 00:31:00,563
"Wait, wait!
670
00:31:00,563 --> 00:31:01,646
I have a last request.
671
00:31:01,929 --> 00:31:03,177
I'd, um-- love to hear
672
00:31:03,177 --> 00:31:04,537
to the sound of a bell ringing.
673
00:31:04,537 --> 00:31:05,947
Call me sentimental, but, ah--"
674
00:31:05,947 --> 00:31:06,961
"Denied!"
675
00:31:06,961 --> 00:31:08,336
"What a gip--no last request.
676
00:31:08,336 --> 00:31:10,038
I'm gonna notify the
executioners' guild!"
677
00:31:10,309 --> 00:31:12,916
"Off with his head!"
678
00:31:15,276 --> 00:31:15,900
"Excuse me."
679
00:31:37,590 --> 00:31:39,657
"Wait! I regret--
680
00:31:40,476 --> 00:31:42,525
that I have but one life to give for,
681
00:31:43,264 --> 00:31:46,358
for--whatever it is I'm giving it for!
682
00:31:46,945 --> 00:31:48,538
Oooh! Hah!
683
00:32:33,576 --> 00:32:35,328
You've gotta work on
your aim, my friend."
684
00:32:35,779 --> 00:32:37,091
"Perhaps you used the wrong end.
685
00:32:40,138 --> 00:32:40,981
Hah-hah!
686
00:32:59,705 --> 00:33:01,333
For inspiration."
687
00:33:14,049 --> 00:33:16,063
"Excuse me. Hello."
688
00:33:18,584 --> 00:33:19,393
"I'm sorry.
689
00:33:19,669 --> 00:33:21,181
My love, for you is still as strong.
690
00:33:21,181 --> 00:33:22,734
I would gladly die for you."
691
00:33:22,939 --> 00:33:23,905
"Oh, you're so noble.
692
00:33:24,110 --> 00:33:25,601
But, would you mind moving?
693
00:33:25,802 --> 00:33:27,367
I really must watch him fight."
694
00:33:38,428 --> 00:33:39,750
"Enough of this play."
695
00:33:45,723 --> 00:33:47,799
"Are you all right? What--?"
696
00:33:47,799 --> 00:33:49,489
"Don't even bother."
697
00:34:05,426 --> 00:34:07,992
"Well-- King Linius.
698
00:34:09,534 --> 00:34:10,457
What an honor it is to meet a man
699
00:34:10,457 --> 00:34:12,459
known as the greatest
swordsman in the kingdom.
700
00:34:15,222 --> 00:34:17,871
I do hope that reputation
is not-- unwarranted."
701
00:34:22,630 --> 00:34:23,832
"You've met your match."
702
00:34:28,083 --> 00:34:29,463
"You're right.
703
00:34:29,989 --> 00:34:32,768
You're able to-- parry
anything I-- throw at you--
704
00:34:33,002 --> 00:34:35,353
with my left hand.
705
00:34:38,720 --> 00:34:40,044
But I'm right-handed, you see.
706
00:34:53,416 --> 00:34:54,153
Well--
707
00:34:54,548 --> 00:34:55,712
this makes it interesting.
708
00:35:06,560 --> 00:35:07,823
Missed me! Hah-hah!"
709
00:35:07,823 --> 00:35:09,370
"Take the fight into the temple!"
710
00:35:14,262 --> 00:35:15,525
"As you wish."
711
00:35:20,885 --> 00:35:22,451
"Ahhh! That was scary."
712
00:35:32,915 --> 00:35:34,634
"Exsqueeze me!
713
00:35:34,940 --> 00:35:36,558
There's no fighting in my temple!
714
00:35:54,722 --> 00:35:56,568
That was a statue of me!"
715
00:35:57,018 --> 00:35:58,021
"Not anymore.
716
00:35:58,789 --> 00:35:59,757
You can end this."
717
00:36:01,074 --> 00:36:03,425
"The only way to end it is
to take the spell off Joxer."
718
00:36:03,926 --> 00:36:04,612
"Well?"
719
00:36:05,052 --> 00:36:05,978
"Dream on."
720
00:36:06,632 --> 00:36:08,708
"Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha."
721
00:36:35,884 --> 00:36:38,307
"Not my vase from Thrace!"
722
00:36:38,307 --> 00:36:39,864
"Take off the spell.
723
00:36:52,314 --> 00:36:53,737
Take off the spell.
724
00:36:54,528 --> 00:36:56,119
You're the goddess of love.
725
00:36:56,344 --> 00:36:57,857
Love is soft and gentle.
726
00:36:57,857 --> 00:36:59,843
It's not violent and cruel."
727
00:37:01,974 --> 00:37:04,257
"You don't know much
about love, do you?"
728
00:37:04,257 --> 00:37:05,678
"I know it's not war.
729
00:37:05,678 --> 00:37:07,038
Now, look what they're
doing to your temple."
730
00:37:07,038 --> 00:37:07,729
"All the more reason
731
00:37:07,729 --> 00:37:09,535
I don't wanna lose my other temples."
732
00:37:10,240 --> 00:37:11,268
"If you don't stop this,
733
00:37:11,268 --> 00:37:13,923
I'll take Joxer on a tour
of all your temples."
734
00:37:29,315 --> 00:37:30,520
"All right, I give.
735
00:37:36,372 --> 00:37:38,188
He's the idiot full time, again."
736
00:37:38,188 --> 00:37:39,515
"Where am I?"
737
00:37:53,029 --> 00:37:53,957
"Gabrielle.
738
00:37:55,762 --> 00:37:56,855
Thank you for everyting."
739
00:37:56,855 --> 00:37:58,045
"You're a real hero."
740
00:37:58,576 --> 00:38:00,409
"I'm just an over-achieving sidekick.
741
00:38:01,809 --> 00:38:03,856
Remember, that love
is about trust and giving.
742
00:38:04,367 --> 00:38:05,333
It's not about--
743
00:38:05,333 --> 00:38:07,183
anger and jealousy."
744
00:38:07,476 --> 00:38:09,880
"She really doesn't get it, does she?"
745
00:38:09,880 --> 00:38:11,958
"Maybe, she gets it better than any of us."
746
00:38:17,102 --> 00:38:18,995
"Hey-- where'd this come from?
747
00:38:20,336 --> 00:38:21,436
I'm sorry-- is this yours?"
748
00:38:25,063 --> 00:38:25,630
"Goodbye."
749
00:38:25,630 --> 00:38:26,858
"Congratulations."
750
00:38:28,840 --> 00:38:29,790
"Are they afraid of me?"
751
00:38:30,626 --> 00:38:31,405
"They are."
752
00:38:32,009 --> 00:38:34,261
"Oh-- No, they're not.
753
00:38:34,666 --> 00:38:36,170
They're disgusted with me."
754
00:38:36,463 --> 00:38:37,225
"Oh."
755
00:38:38,549 --> 00:38:39,159
"You know--
756
00:38:40,280 --> 00:38:41,904
now I know what it's
like to be admired by
757
00:38:42,146 --> 00:38:43,483
beautiful women
and brave men.
758
00:38:44,231 --> 00:38:45,294
Now that things are
back to normal,
759
00:38:45,622 --> 00:38:46,629
I know what I am--
760
00:38:46,629 --> 00:38:48,172
I'm a big phoney."
761
00:38:48,826 --> 00:38:49,704
"That's not true."
762
00:38:50,314 --> 00:38:51,391
"Stop it, Gabrielle.
763
00:38:51,960 --> 00:38:53,925
You're the hero here
even I know that.
764
00:38:54,652 --> 00:38:55,963
I don't even rate great sidekick.
765
00:38:58,027 --> 00:38:59,503
Go on back to Xena.
766
00:39:01,220 --> 00:39:02,751
I don't know why I'm
hanging out with you guys.
767
00:39:03,778 --> 00:39:04,307
I don't know why
768
00:39:04,307 --> 00:39:06,202
I convinced myself I ever could."
769
00:39:21,609 --> 00:39:22,353
"Hi, Joxer."
770
00:39:23,735 --> 00:39:24,684
"Hi, Xena.
771
00:39:25,079 --> 00:39:26,643
Come to get a laugh at my expense?
772
00:39:27,548 --> 00:39:28,380
I can't blame you if you did--
773
00:39:28,380 --> 00:39:29,658
that's all I'm good for."
774
00:39:29,658 --> 00:39:31,630
"Gabrielle told me all
about what happened.
775
00:39:32,509 --> 00:39:32,776
You did some
776
00:39:32,985 --> 00:39:34,002
very brave things."
777
00:39:34,376 --> 00:39:35,564
"Yeah, but that wasn't me."
778
00:39:36,087 --> 00:39:37,148
"That's where you're wrong."
779
00:39:39,926 --> 00:39:40,760
"What do you mean?"
780
00:39:40,760 --> 00:39:43,130
"The gods can't give us anything
that isn't in our hearts.
781
00:39:43,662 --> 00:39:45,720
Aphrodite just used
what was already there.
782
00:39:46,347 --> 00:39:48,834
The real Joxer may not be
the best swordsman around,
783
00:39:48,834 --> 00:39:50,871
but he's always had the heart of a lion."
784
00:39:53,277 --> 00:39:55,064
"You're just saying that
to make me feel better."
785
00:39:56,245 --> 00:39:57,744
"You calling me a liar?"
786
00:40:03,003 --> 00:40:03,955
"No."
787
00:40:04,429 --> 00:40:06,867
"Well, then-- like I said."
788
00:40:18,777 --> 00:40:19,503
"How'd it go?"
789
00:40:20,088 --> 00:40:21,336
"I cheered him up."
790
00:40:21,551 --> 00:40:23,150
"Good-- I hated
to see him so sad.
791
00:40:23,572 --> 00:40:24,693
You know-- now that
he knows the truth,
792
00:40:24,693 --> 00:40:27,435
I guess he'll never be as deluded
as he used to be. Huh!"
793
00:40:29,332 --> 00:40:32,231
"Joxer the lion-hearted
is ready for action!"
794
00:40:33,835 --> 00:40:34,599
"Maybe not."
795
00:40:34,834 --> 00:40:36,037
"Joxer the Mighty;
796
00:40:36,254 --> 00:40:37,971
he's very tidy.
797
00:40:37,971 --> 00:40:39,949
Everyone admires him.
798
00:40:39,949 --> 00:40:41,786
He's so handsome, it's a sin.
799
00:40:41,786 --> 00:40:43,260
If you're in jeopardy,
800
00:40:43,994 --> 00:40:45,700
don't call the cavalry.
801
00:40:45,700 --> 00:40:47,496
There's a better remedy.
802
00:40:47,496 --> 00:40:49,432
(Although he doesn't work for free!)
803
00:40:49,432 --> 00:40:51,246
He's every man's trustee;
804
00:40:51,246 --> 00:40:53,058
he's every woman's fantasy.
805
00:40:53,058 --> 00:40:54,902
Plus, he's good with company.
806
00:40:54,902 --> 00:40:56,310
It's Joxer--
807
00:40:56,310 --> 00:40:58,728
I'm Joxer the Mighty! Hah-hah!"
808
00:40:58,728 --> 00:41:01,015
Captioned by Grantman Brown
53896
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