Original subtitles

Kazaf, do you like it here?

-It's not bad. -Oh, so you're the boss.

You got pretty good taste. We can sign the lease later today, if you like.

You will only speak to me, then I will speak for you to my master.

-Am I clear? -Yes, quite.

Mr. Prada, in that case, when would you like the lease to commence?

I don't. We don't care to rent. We're going to be buying.

You can take it with you and count it. Let me know if it's at all short.

Prada. Watch the girls.

We're members of the royal family. Don't forget it.

We have to behave like it. We drink...

...the blood. Am I clear? No sucking.

Yes, sir. There's just one little detail:

We're vampires and we're buying a church. It's a bit offbeat.

Prada, let's get with the times, man.

We're the next generation. Just deal with it. Capisce?

Let's do it.

Hey.

Here's to you and l. We make the perfect team.

-Wait here. Be ready. -Okay.

When I need you, I'll let you know.

See you.

Reeve!.

Lila was my third partner in the Anti-Vampire Federation.

I couldn't bear the thought of losing another one.

I wanted to work alone, but I knew the Federation wouldn't allow it.

Sooner or later, they'd send me a new partner.

It was just a matter of time.

-Here you go, sir. -Thank you.

Don't you think it's a bit crowded?

Give us a minute, will you?

Listen to me, baby.

I'm taking a huge risk having dinner with you here tonight. I'm serious.

You're still afraid of--

Whatever you do, don't mention her. You say her name, there she is.

I just don't get it. It's like clockwork.

You got a bit too much Helen on the mind.

It figures I'd find you here.

You know what to do.

You swore if you ever cheated on me, you would cut something off.

-Shall I call the police? -No.

Wait.

Can I have a sip of your wine?

Not this, please. We'll get you something.

Hey. Bottle of your finest wine for me, huh?

-Why can't I drink this? -I've had the flu.

-Prada. -I don't wanna see her get sick.

I cared for him. I really did.

I didn't mean for all this to happen.

How could he be so cold like that anyway?

I'm okay.

In fact, I think it's good it's over.

Helen!

I didn't tell you my name. It's Kazaf. So can I call you?

I'm at 986-69.

-You don't approve of her? -I think she's trouble.

We can't trust human beings, especially women.

They're always so erratic. And so touchy.

Didn't you notice? First she was crying, then she was laughing? She's a psycho.

Maybe that's what I like about her. She's weird. You know what I mean?

-You ever met a vampire like that? -Okay.

Assuming you find her, you know that humans aren't about to accept us.

You need to get a regular girl.

A vampire, of course. A simple glance of the eyes....

She'll be all yours. That's that.

It's too easy like that. I want more.

I think I get it.

You've fallen in love with supper.

I'm not sure infatuation with food is too healthy.

You ever see someone fall in love with a bag of pork rinds?

If you're hungry, simply have a bite.

That's true, but I like this girl. I don't need her blood.

Besides, my dad sends this. Fresh blood every week.

-Hello? -Hello?

-Could I please talk to Helen? -Speaking.

Helen! I told you I would call.

Are you crazy? Do you know what time it is?

Wake up.

How do you use this?

Flight 23 arriving at gate 14.

Parking in the white zone is not permitted.

Parking in the white zone is not permitted.

The hero.

Hi. It's an honor.

So how come I didn't see you come out?

Because I wanted to see you in action. So I booked an earlier flight.

Really?

I know your entire history. You hunt vampires full-time now.

In five years you've killed 1 23 vampires.

You're the top hunter in the whole league.

-You really did your homework. -Let me get it.

Wait. Wait!

I got it.

As my assistant you need to remember two things:

Always do what I tell you, and don't argue with me.

You mean, just follow you around?

That's right. Like Batman and Robin.

Vampire blood extract.

Once you drink it, you grow strong, just like an ox.

-What's it taste like? -The taste doesn't matter.

It'll save your life. Now...

...you have to understand the effects of this only last an hour and a half.

If we don't take the antidote by then, we'll become vampires.

Which brings me to this. If one of us becomes a vampire, what do we do?

There's only one answer: this.

Well, is there an antidote?

Right here. Check it out.

It's an extract.

Banana. Not a bad decoy, don't you think?

-Smells like banana. -Well, I put some on the bottle.

-Just one more test. -What's that?

-Just one more test. -What's that?

My sister.

I wanna be sure you both get along. It's important.

She just broke up with her boyfriend, and she's a little touchy right now.

She's up on the roof. Why don't you go up and introduce yourself?

You jerk.

I wanted to keep you around.

But you look just like that fat idiot.

Forget it.

What are you doing with my things?

-lt was in the rubbish. Take it easy. -It's not rubbish. It's my bear.

-Finders keepers, then. -Whatever. Give it here.

Stop!

What are you fighting about? Come on, Helen.

Wait.

-What was that? -Here.

That hurt.

Who's gonna clean up?

Hi.

-What? -Hi.

Hey, Helen. You lonely?

I was just making sure your phone was charged.

-Oh, I get it. Yeah, it's full. -So is mine.

Sounds to me like you're bored.

I'm just in a bad mood, that's all.

-Why's that? -None of your business.

I'm just kind of sad.

Well, how about a joke then? Knock, knock.

Okay. See you at noon tomorrow then. All right. Bye.

-You are seeing her tomorrow? -Yeah. Is there a problem?

The sun?

-Oh, that's right. -You'll fry to a crisp. Like a pork rind.

What am I gonna do?

You could reschedule for midnight.

No, I can't. I promised her.

Bats. Looks like we're in business. Be careful.

Now.

They got my report, but didn't seem surprised.

Don't be upset about it. We'll still find it.

Well, I'm not sure that's all we'll find.

European vampires are rare around here.

When I got my orders earlier, I thought they were wrong.

But this-- Here, read it for yourself.

Only one prince is left after the assassination of the entire family.

The vampire king and five of the princes were killed.

The duke's been killing the princes one by one.

Extracting their blood essence, each in turn.

Honorable Prince. As you know, the Duke has betrayed your family.

"At your father's request, please protect this treasure at all cost."

There's nothing about sending blood this week either. That's kind of weird.

The five princes were killed for blood essence.

-So that the Duke could open the book. -Day for Night?

-ls that it? -Day for Night. It's a beautiful antique.

What a perfect decoration on the new coffee table.

Day for Night is the holy doctrine of vampires.

Inside you'll find the blood of the ultimate vampire.

The vampire who consumes it can go out in the sun.

Well, what does that have to do with the princes?

Apparently, the only way to open the book...

...is with the blood essence of those princes.

-So he's the last one then? -Yeah, and the duke needs him.

Two thousand years ago, Sir Nicholas of Poland tried it.

Well, what did he use?

According to ancient legend, he had a sun cream that he put on his skin.

It allowed him to go in the sun and take an occasional swim.

Where can I get this stuff? I'll pay anything. I don't care.

I'm afraid it can't be purchased, but we could make some.

Start with some absinthe juice, one more drop.

Add olive oil. Extra virgin is imperative.

Throw in a little red wine.

Now we add a slight touch of sesame glue.

Potassium. Good for the skin.

Now just a little face cream.

-Are you just guessing? -All science starts with testing.

Yeah, that's true. Okay, now what?

It's getting warm. Excellent.

Now we just let it settle.

Then put it in the oven for about an hour and place it in the sun.

For how long?

-About a century. -Gotta be kidding me!

The longer it cooks, the better it works.

You can put it under the sun for three hours, but it won't be as good.

-Well, have you ever tried it? -I'm not crazy.

-Has anyone tried it? -Nobody but Sir Nicholas. So what?

Helen. Helen.

-Who are you? -Kazaf.

-You look ready for a date. -Really?

Wait. Are you mad at me?

If you don't want to date me, just say so. You look ridiculous.

I thought you liked it.

It's called sarcasm, in case you hadn't heard.

Okay. Honestly, I've had a blood problem since I was a kid.

I can't go out in the sun.

I'm risking my life to come out here.

Dummy. So we could have met at midnight.

I made a vow. I wanna keep it.

-Oh, hi. -How are you? Hi.

Sorry we're late. It's all his fault. He's going to a costume party.

-Sorry. -And you two are...?

-lvy's cousin. -Of course. They'll be over by the tent.

Okay.

-You always crash weddings? -It's important to do research.

-Nice to see you. -Jackie, congratulations.

Hold on. I may look like the eligible bachelor here.

Sorry, but I'm not Jackie.

Oh, look. Here's the one you want.

-Congratulations. -Thank you. Thank you.

Not really used to this, you know? Kind of nervous.

Calm down, son. You'll be fine.

When I had a penalty shot in the championship match...

...now that was real pressure. But I wasn't scared.

-Did you score? -Jackie, I can't seem to find lvy.

-Lost the game, but I wasn't scared. -Where did she go?

-Try-- -Your bride disappeared?

I gotta go look for her. I'll see you later. Enjoy.

-Okay. -Bye.

-This guy's your boyfriend? -Yeah.

Why's he so slimy?

-Where is she? -She's drinking.

-Wait. Why are you drinking now? -Give me that. Give me that.

I learned a new drinking game. Wanna see it? Okay.

Vodka, gin, champagne, rum In the mouth, past the gums

Look out stomach, here it comes!

-lsn't that funny? -How much have you drank?

-Not much. Couple cases of wine. -That's not much? Look.

I just told my father what an incredible lady you are.

Oh, that's right, a lady. I forgot.

-Look, honey-- In a minute. -Now you know I love you.

-Hold on. -Wait, wait.

Now watch for the diamond ring Jackie gives me. Six carats!

Isn't she great?

-Jackie, can we talk? -But, lvy--

-We'll drink to that. -Watch her.

-Jackie. -What is it?

Well, we've been friends a long time.

And I'm proud to have first introduced you to lvy.

Oh, yeah. I do appreciate it, pal.

-You're the best man. -You're welcome.

So if I messed up, or made a mistake of some kind...

...you find it in your heart to forgive me?

-What's going on? -No biggie, really.

I've just lost the six-carat ring.

-This is just a joke, isn't it? -No, it's really missing. Sorry, Jackie.

-You! -I think you should stay calm.

-Wait. Have you looked everywhere? -I swear I did.

-Do you have it? -No.

-I'm dead. I'm dead. -Could be. Could be. Could--

All right. No matter what, you get another ring.

-Okay, yeah, sure. I'll take care of it. -Remember, don't tell her. Okay?

Come on. I already looked there.

I'm dead now, do you understand? Idiot, how could you do this to me?

Let's eat.

What looks good?

Come on. Help yourself. It's free.

You gotta eat something. Aren't you hungry?

I....

-How's this? -They're good.

-Yeah. I love bananas. They're great. -Oh, really? You love bananas, huh?

Okay, then. Take some home.

You won't believe what I heard.

Somehow the groom just lost that expensive wedding ring.

-What? -You're kidding. Does lvy know?

I'd just like to say welcome, and let's have a nice hand for the couple.

Congratulations, Jackie.

-These two were friends for years. -Come up with a plan?

As a matter of fact, they met seven years ago today.

That's why they chose this day to marry.

To bring them the greatest joy and happiness.

And they want all to join in that joy...

...as they stand together for the first time as husband and wife.

I know you're all anxious to see the ring.

-I need this. -Wait.

And you can bet he put a lot of time and thought into the decision.

-Not to mention a lot of money. -I'm busy!

-Here, take this. -Okay.

-Here, take this. -It's now time to exchange the ring.

What's this?

-It's a bat ring. -It's not the one I wanted!

Look, I'll give you the other ring later. After the wedding, I promise.

-Okay, you two, this calls for a toast. -Yeah.

Wait a minute. Wait.

-No more to drink, okay? -Give me that. Come on.

Oh, great! Now look.

Wait. Wait. Wait a minute!

No. Wait. Stop! Wait!

Please, no more.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

No. No.

Wait.

That's enough. You have had too much to drink!

I'm sorry. I didn't mean to yell.

Don't marry him. Come with me.

Ivy.

Good one. Let's drink.

I thought the food was good and the men looked nice.

I didn't like the bride's dress. Although, the parents were cute.

Hey! You're burning up.

What do you mean?

-My sunscreen isn't working anymore. -Okay, okay.

Why are you staring at my back?

I don't know. But it is handsome.

My back?

I bet that you're a guy who likes his women to walk behind him.

-ls that it? -I'm not like that.

You wait here. I'll handle it.

Let me do it!

-I'll get him! -No, he's gone.

I said, he's gone.

Never mind, he's gone.

You think?

-Antidote. -You brought it.

No, you did. Now, get it.

I brought it?

Here it is.

-This is banana. -That felt nice.

-lt taste like banana? -No, I made a batch with no flavor.

Why?

Yeah, yours has banana in it.

What is it?

How did you know I was in here anyway?

I followed you home, that's how.

Do you always do that?

You don't like it?

All right.

Why do you live in a church anyway?

Oh, you're religious!

I've been to church once.

By the way, here's a cake if you're hungry.

It's banana, you'll like it.

-My master and I are both hungry-- -Prada, no!

-Sir, l-- -No.

Are you hungry? Here, have some cake.

-I made it myself. -Come on, let's go.

Why is there a coffin in here?

-I sleep in it. -You sleep in a coffin?

Actually, it's a family business. This is one I designed.

-Did you really? -Yeah.

Wow, it's gorgeous. So shiny!

Can I look inside?

Sure.

Wow!

You're talented.

Can I try it out?

Wow! I love the lighting.

So high-tech.

Yeah, I guess.

Hey.

Someone said earlier they were hungry.

Yeah.

Here.

It's fresh. Your favorite.

Relax, there's plenty more.

I don't believe it. We're out of the antidote.

-Wait! Wait! -What?

-Do you smell that? -I'm busy.

I smell bananas!

Look! Look!

-Your sister must've used the antidote. -She hates banana.

What's the matter? What's the matter?

Must be the vampire effect.

Take this.

If I become a vampire, your orders are to kill me.

These cakes must be loaded with the antidote.

-What? -Here, eat this.

And this one.

Does it make you feel anything?

-I'm a little stuffed. -You want water?

Thanks.

Bye. The cake was great.

-Your coffin is real comfortable. -Bye-bye.

How dare you!

I accept your apology. See you, bye.

I....

Good call on the cake.

I owe you one.

I can see that you've fallen in love with that girl.

Tell me. Do you think you've got what it takes to be a vampire?

Or, more importantly, to be the prince?

Are you qualified to seek the throne?

-Is this another lecture? - Tell her you're a vampire.

See if she loves you enough to give you her blood.

Well? There's something you wanted to say?

What?

It's a bit complicated, bizarre.

I prefer if you say it face to face.

So, what's wrong?

I'm not a human, exactly.

You're not acting like one now.

What are you, then?

-The undead. -Yeah!

Check out the eyes.

Contact lenses. Very becoming.

You're being a jerk!

Can I see your neck?

Don't be so polite. You gotta be mean.

Let go. Let go!

I know what this is all about.

You just want to dump me. Right?

You don't get it, do you? I'm a vampire.

Do you realize what that means?

So you're a vampire. You still can fall in love!

I get it.

You think I'm too pushy and got a big mouth.

Most girls are like this and you'd know it if you weren't a loner.

Go out and see for yourself.

I dare you.

I have a dog...

...and a cat at the house.

A vampire isn't so strange.

Just--

See, I gotta clear it with my brother.

I'm not really any good at this.

Actually, I suck as a vampire too.

Hey! Hey! What's the matter?

I haven't eaten for days. I need blood.

-What's happening? -You said you need to eat.

You stay here. I think I better get it.

You'll come back?

Look at this.

I heard something funny, let's go.

What's the matter? Did you get caught?

-Can you hear that? -What is it?

Vampire bats.

So vampires are here as well. We should hurry. They're close.

Why is the hospital alarm going off?

-Has there been a robbery? -Just a false alarm.

Who would steal from a hospital?

But thieves are stealing everything nowadays.

Some are even stealing identities.

-Wow. Check this out. -What is it?

What are you doing in here?

I was at your wedding I gave you the ring.

-Remember? My friend needs help. -Well, looks to me like he's terminal.

I know! He needs help! Come on! You can do it!

-We need a ride to a clinic. -I've got a call to take.

But you're our last chance! Come on.

Aren't you supposed to help ones that need it?

We're running out of time.

Is it getting worse?

Bite me if it'll do any good.

-I'm okay. -Well, maybe just take a little then.

Sort of like an appetizer, okay?

Jackie, hurry! Vampires!

What's going on?

Who are they?

Please help!

Keep straight!

Oh, but I can't drive!

There's a truck!

Look out!

You okay?

Who the hell are you?

-I just ran someone over! -Don't worry.

-They were already dead. -They were?

He can fly!

Come on.

-Throw me some more blood. -Okay.

Type AB. They'll love it!

You sure they're dead?

Hey, it's working.

-What did you give them? -Antidepressant.

It controls mood swings.

-They're in a better mood. -All we need is music.

Hit the radio.

Hey.

Hello.

I see that Reeve's got you ironing his clothes now, huh?

I don't mind ironing his clothes.

Yeah, nice going.

At least you found someone.

-I thought you met someone. -Yeah. He's great!

I got nothing to complain about.

It's just that he's got, you know, issues.

I'm trying to figure the whole thing out.

Anyway...

...there's one problem.

Like what?

-Well.... -What is it?

Well, you know, just....

He's that thing you guys hunt.

He's one of the undead?

But he's a really good undead!

-How can sucking blood be good? -My guy's gentle.

He wouldn't suck anyone's blood. He's like a little kitty.

Gypsy...

...maybe you could talk to Reeve for us?

He and I hunt vampires.

Please?

Oh, pretty please, just try.

But we're in-laws.

At least, we're gonna be.

And sisters-in-law gotta stick together, right?

Well, that's true.

All right.

I'll discuss it with your brother for you.

I knew all along that my brother was lucky.

One look at you and I could tell you were so nice.

He doesn't deserve a girl like you.

-Hey. Going on a date, huh? -What do you think?

That's how it smells.

Okay, we can go now.

Is my dress okay?

How pathetic to find a vampire living here.

In a church.

Now, where is the fifth prince?

-A present. -Let's see.

What is it?

-It's a wedding dress. It's black. -How come?

Wait, how about this? You go over there.

I'm gonna check here.

Hey, why did you tell me to go over there?

Don't go. Let them be.

Why did you do that?

Can't you see that they're in love? Come on.

That's my sister dating a vampire.

Remember why we joined the Federation?

When I took my oath I wasn't in love.

Now I know what it's like. Falling in love makes you blind.

Can't you tell? Look at my dress.

All right, look. You said you were ready.

I'll wait here till you get back.

Reeve.

Right where you are least expected.

Good to see you again, old friend.

Maybe we should talk.

-What's the matter? -Someone's here.

Hey, you're a little early.

We have to go.

-What's the matter? -It's Reeve.

They've got him.

And your boyfriend is the only one who can save him.

Kazaf. How long have I waited for this moment.

I didn't come for you. Let Reeve go.

You still dare to act like royalty?

Bow to me and I may grant you an easy death.

You still need my blood.

If I spill it myself, it's worthless to you.

Let him go.

Why should l?

Your friends have already gone to rescue Reeve.

Perhaps...

...I should free this one instead.

It's Reeve!

Drop the knife and he shall be free.

No chance. Release him.

No!

Let him go.

It's me, your sister. Helen.

So I see you are stronger than your brothers.

Reeve, no!

Oh, Reeve.

Gypsy!

In this world, there are still vampires.

But now there are three more vampire hunters.

One of them is me. One is my sister-in-law. And the other one?

Well, he's a vampire, but let's just say, he's on our side now.

The real estate papers are right here.

Okay?

Your neck is so attractive.

You want a termite inspection?

I thought you might like this.

It's the property history. It's pretty old.

I'm having a little problem.

You might want to look at this. It's the original deed to....

It can wait.

That tickles.

I've never had a client like you.

Do I get a discount on the commission?

It's still six percent.

Oh, but I just told Daddy that you're a wonderful, wonderful...

...you're wonderful.

I've screwed it up. That's two times I did that. Twice.

Third time's a charm. Here we go.

Let's try it again.

I have to deliver to the clinic. That guy's making me laugh.

Did you see that? Peppy. Oh, si, senor. I'm Senor Peppy.

We need to do the scene again. I should break that hand.