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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:01:05,300 --> 00:01:09,200 - Guess how fast we're going now. - I don't care, I'm having a baby! 2 00:01:09,500 --> 00:01:12,400 Hundred and five miles an hour, you believe that? 3 00:01:17,700 --> 00:01:20,400 Reese, you just passed the hospital! 4 00:01:21,800 --> 00:01:25,300 - The baby's coming, he's coming now! - All right, all right, hold on. 5 00:01:25,500 --> 00:01:28,400 - Okay, but I think he might be stuck. - Grab onto something. Ready? 6 00:01:28,400 --> 00:01:30,600 One, two, three! 7 00:01:36,900 --> 00:01:39,400 It's a baby boy. 8 00:01:41,600 --> 00:01:44,600 I'm happy that Waffle House was okay with me coming here... 9 00:01:44,800 --> 00:01:46,900 ...to talk to y'all about my day-to-day. 10 00:01:47,400 --> 00:01:49,900 And, y'all, that's pretty much, in a shell... 11 00:01:50,200 --> 00:01:52,400 ...what it's like to manage a Waffle House. 12 00:01:52,400 --> 00:01:55,000 Ma'am, I don't know what else you want me to say to them. 13 00:01:55,300 --> 00:01:57,600 And I'm also gonna need to know where your commode's at. 14 00:01:57,800 --> 00:02:00,500 Okay, let's give him a round of applause. Thank you. 15 00:02:01,900 --> 00:02:04,500 Okay, next up is Ricky Bobby. Ricky, is your father here? 16 00:02:04,800 --> 00:02:08,000 No, ma'am. I haven't seen my daddy in years. 17 00:02:08,300 --> 00:02:10,400 But my mama say he's out racing cars... 18 00:02:10,400 --> 00:02:12,800 ...and, well, dipping his wick in anything that moves. 19 00:02:14,300 --> 00:02:17,500 Okay, kids, that's enough. We're gonna move on to Brennan. 20 00:02:17,800 --> 00:02:19,500 Don't pay them no mind, Ricky. 21 00:02:19,800 --> 00:02:23,100 Thanks, Cal. Shake and Bake. You'll be my best friend forever. 22 00:02:23,300 --> 00:02:25,000 - His job is like as a prison guard. 23 00:02:26,100 --> 00:02:28,100 Excuse me, darling. I'm Reese Bobby. 24 00:02:28,300 --> 00:02:30,600 I'm here for career day with my son, Ricky. 25 00:02:31,200 --> 00:02:33,400 - Dad! - Hey there, boy! 26 00:02:33,700 --> 00:02:36,500 Man, you got big. How long's it been? Three, four months? 27 00:02:36,700 --> 00:02:38,600 - Ten years. - Ten years? 28 00:02:38,800 --> 00:02:41,000 Man, I gotta lay off the peyote. 29 00:02:41,300 --> 00:02:42,800 Mr. Bobby, there's no smoking in here. 30 00:02:43,000 --> 00:02:44,800 It's all right, I'm a volunteer fireman. 31 00:02:45,100 --> 00:02:48,700 Okay, I am a semi-professional racecar driver... 32 00:02:49,000 --> 00:02:51,500 ...and an amateur tattoo artist. 33 00:02:53,400 --> 00:02:56,800 And the first thing you gotta learn if you're gonna be a racecar driver... 34 00:02:57,000 --> 00:02:58,400 ...is you don't listen to losers... 35 00:02:58,700 --> 00:03:02,000 ...like your know-it-all teacher here. - Okay, I think that's enough. 36 00:03:02,200 --> 00:03:05,200 Your teacher wants you to go slow, and she's wrong... 37 00:03:05,400 --> 00:03:08,900 ...because it's the fastest who gets paid and it's the fastest who gets laid. 38 00:03:11,900 --> 00:03:14,500 Oh, yeah. You know what I'm talking about. 39 00:03:15,200 --> 00:03:17,200 You people are in the wrong on this one! 40 00:03:17,400 --> 00:03:18,400 So in the wrong! 41 00:03:18,700 --> 00:03:22,400 This is egregious, do you hear me? Egregious! 42 00:03:25,800 --> 00:03:29,000 We were cellmates together, Andy. You got payback coming! 43 00:03:31,400 --> 00:03:32,600 Dad! 44 00:03:32,800 --> 00:03:35,300 Don't listen to these people, Ricky. You're a winner. 45 00:03:35,600 --> 00:03:40,400 You got the gift. Always remember, if you ain't first, you're last. 46 00:03:43,500 --> 00:03:47,200 If you ain't first, you're last. 47 00:03:48,000 --> 00:03:50,400 - See you when you're grown up. - Dad! Come back, Dad! 48 00:04:03,600 --> 00:04:05,200 It's a hot one here in Talladega... 49 00:04:05,500 --> 00:04:10,000 ...and this crowd of over 180,000 is enjoying one heck of a day. 50 00:04:24,100 --> 00:04:27,700 Yo, Terry. Terry, we got the caution. Bring it in for a pit. Let's work on it. 51 00:04:39,200 --> 00:04:41,300 All right, fellas, let's go. 52 00:04:41,400 --> 00:04:44,000 Looking good. Yes, come on. 53 00:04:44,300 --> 00:04:45,400 Keep it up, baby. 54 00:04:46,500 --> 00:04:48,800 - All right, way to go. - Go, way to go. 55 00:04:49,400 --> 00:04:50,500 Nice jack work, Ricky. 56 00:04:50,700 --> 00:04:52,500 Hey, Shake and Bake, Cal. 57 00:04:53,100 --> 00:04:55,700 - Shake and Bake! - Terry, it's all on you, bro. You go. 58 00:04:56,000 --> 00:04:58,100 Go, baby, go. Wait, what are you doing? 59 00:04:58,300 --> 00:05:01,000 - I gotta take a piss. - Go, go, go! 60 00:05:01,300 --> 00:05:03,800 It doesn't matter, Lucius. We're in last place. Relax. 61 00:05:04,100 --> 00:05:06,800 Jeez, I gotta go take a whiz. Get off my ass. 62 00:05:07,000 --> 00:05:08,900 You see, this is what I'm talking about. 63 00:05:09,200 --> 00:05:12,600 That's why this group right here is the laughingstock of NASCAR. 64 00:05:12,800 --> 00:05:14,500 Face it, we suck. 65 00:05:14,500 --> 00:05:18,400 It's not always bad to be in last place. Here's some things we can focus on: 66 00:05:18,500 --> 00:05:21,600 One, we tried hard. And two, we're still dear friends. 67 00:05:21,900 --> 00:05:23,200 Glenn, shut up. 68 00:05:23,500 --> 00:05:26,000 I see Terry. He's having a chicken sandwich. 69 00:05:27,000 --> 00:05:31,000 Hey, fellas! These are really good. You should try one. 70 00:05:31,200 --> 00:05:33,000 That place actually makes a nice sauce. 71 00:05:33,300 --> 00:05:35,400 Let me eat this, then I gotta make a phone call... 72 00:05:35,500 --> 00:05:38,400 ...then I'm coming back, all right? - This is the bottom line. 73 00:05:38,400 --> 00:05:40,400 If we don't get that car back on the track... 74 00:05:40,600 --> 00:05:43,200 ...our sponsors are gonna shit a chicken. 75 00:05:43,500 --> 00:05:48,400 Now, is there anyone out there who wants to go fast? Anybody? 76 00:05:50,000 --> 00:05:51,600 I wanna go fast. 77 00:05:51,800 --> 00:05:55,500 Hey, get him a suit. Hurry up, make it snappy. Let's go. 78 00:05:55,500 --> 00:05:57,900 - Hustle up, hustle up. - Hey, man! 79 00:05:58,200 --> 00:06:01,600 Remember when we got kicked out of biology for playing with Matchbox cars? 80 00:06:01,800 --> 00:06:04,300 - Yeah! - Who's retarded now? 81 00:06:04,600 --> 00:06:07,600 - Yeah. - Hey, what are you doing after this? 82 00:06:07,600 --> 00:06:09,200 - After the race? - Yeah. 83 00:06:09,400 --> 00:06:12,400 I don't know, but it feels like we're wasting a lot of time. 84 00:06:12,400 --> 00:06:14,600 No, I know, I know. I'm just excited, man! 85 00:06:14,800 --> 00:06:18,200 - Yeah, I know. Yeah. - Hey! I love you! 86 00:06:18,400 --> 00:06:19,900 - What? - Nothing. 87 00:06:20,800 --> 00:06:22,900 Shake and Bake! Get some! 88 00:06:24,000 --> 00:06:27,300 You're my best friend! You're my best friend! 89 00:06:27,500 --> 00:06:29,200 - Okay, then! - I'm in there with you! 90 00:06:29,400 --> 00:06:31,200 - I gotta get going! - Go, go! 91 00:06:36,300 --> 00:06:38,500 - Yeah! - That's Ricky, baby! 92 00:06:38,700 --> 00:06:40,000 That's my boy, Ricky! 93 00:06:44,400 --> 00:06:46,500 Hey, Ricky, just remember one thing: 94 00:06:46,800 --> 00:06:49,700 If you wreck that car, that's 200 grand out of your pocket... 95 00:06:49,900 --> 00:06:51,900 ...so let's take it nice and slow, okay? 96 00:06:52,100 --> 00:06:55,800 With all due respect, Lucius, I'm gonna do some driving. 97 00:06:59,100 --> 00:07:00,600 Excuse me, coming through. 98 00:07:02,100 --> 00:07:06,000 Apparently, we've got a situation for the Laughing Clown, number 26 car. 99 00:07:06,200 --> 00:07:09,000 Terry Cheveaux is refusing to drive. One of his crew members... 100 00:07:09,200 --> 00:07:10,500 ...has taken the wheel. 101 00:07:10,500 --> 00:07:13,800 Hey, just wanted to share a little piece of personal information with you. 102 00:07:14,100 --> 00:07:15,300 I got a chubby right now... 103 00:07:15,400 --> 00:07:18,600 ...because this is one of the most awesome experiences of my life... 104 00:07:18,600 --> 00:07:20,400 ...because I'm getting to drive a racecar! 105 00:07:20,400 --> 00:07:23,200 I can't believe it! Oh, my God! 106 00:07:40,900 --> 00:07:42,600 Wow, that was cool. 107 00:07:43,500 --> 00:07:44,700 Come on, come on. 108 00:07:53,300 --> 00:07:54,500 The big story from Talladega: 109 00:07:54,600 --> 00:07:58,000 Little-known jack-man Ricky Bobby places third in the Dennit machine. 110 00:07:58,200 --> 00:08:01,400 Ricky, first of all, where did you learn to drive like that? 111 00:08:01,600 --> 00:08:05,600 In a car. Car handle really good. Yeah. 112 00:08:06,200 --> 00:08:07,600 Can you speak up, Ricky? 113 00:08:07,800 --> 00:08:09,600 A car. It handled real good. 114 00:08:09,900 --> 00:08:12,200 So, what do you think, Mr. Dennit? He sure can drive. 115 00:08:12,500 --> 00:08:15,800 He's got guts. Dennit Racing needs a racer like him. 116 00:08:16,100 --> 00:08:17,800 Come on, Dad. He's just a stupid cowboy. 117 00:08:18,000 --> 00:08:19,500 Look how bad he is in that interview. 118 00:08:19,800 --> 00:08:23,500 Junior, driving has got nothing to do with interviews. 119 00:08:23,600 --> 00:08:26,600 I just wish to hell you had a little more stupid cowboy in you. 120 00:08:26,900 --> 00:08:30,400 I felt like I was on a spaceship and... 121 00:08:31,600 --> 00:08:33,100 I'm not sure what to do with my hands. 122 00:08:33,400 --> 00:08:35,200 Be good to hold them down by your side. 123 00:08:35,400 --> 00:08:39,400 We're really happy with what was going on. 124 00:08:39,700 --> 00:08:44,500 And at the end of the day, you know, you gotta be happy. 125 00:08:44,600 --> 00:08:48,600 - What did you say his name was again? - His name is Ricky. Ricky Bobby. 126 00:08:48,900 --> 00:08:51,500 Ricky Bobby? He's got two first names. 127 00:08:51,600 --> 00:08:53,600 Whatever his name is, let's get him over here. 128 00:08:53,800 --> 00:08:56,000 Everything ended up fine. 129 00:08:57,200 --> 00:09:00,400 Yeah, okay, everything was fine. Thanks, thanks. Great job in the car. 130 00:09:00,400 --> 00:09:02,900 Ricky Bobby, a force to be reckoned with, possibly... 131 00:09:03,100 --> 00:09:04,400 ...in the near future. 132 00:09:04,600 --> 00:09:06,600 Ricky Bobby with yet another impressive win. 133 00:09:06,900 --> 00:09:08,500 He is dominating NAS CAR. 134 00:09:08,800 --> 00:09:11,400 First or last, baby, you know it! 135 00:09:11,400 --> 00:09:14,400 I've never seen a driver who wants to win more than this guy. 136 00:09:14,600 --> 00:09:17,000 I could get used to this winning thing! 137 00:09:30,400 --> 00:09:35,800 Dennit Racing Incorporated has decided to field an additional car. 138 00:09:36,100 --> 00:09:38,900 And, at the urging of Ricky Bobby... 139 00:09:39,200 --> 00:09:43,200 ...who's been like a son to me, only better... 140 00:09:43,500 --> 00:09:46,800 ...I'm naming Cal Naughton Jr. As the driver. 141 00:09:49,000 --> 00:09:50,400 All right. 142 00:09:50,700 --> 00:09:52,400 - Cal Naughton. - Hey... 143 00:09:52,500 --> 00:09:55,200 ...we just want to say to all you other drivers out there... 144 00:09:55,500 --> 00:09:58,500 ...if you smell a delicious, crispy smell after the race... 145 00:09:58,500 --> 00:10:01,800 ...it's not your tailpipe, it's a little bit... 146 00:10:02,000 --> 00:10:03,500 ...of shake... 147 00:10:03,500 --> 00:10:06,000 And then bake. 148 00:10:06,300 --> 00:10:07,500 Shake and Bake! 149 00:10:07,800 --> 00:10:10,300 - That's our nickname. - Get used to hearing it. 150 00:10:10,600 --> 00:10:12,300 And Ricky Bobby wins... 151 00:10:12,600 --> 00:10:14,800 ...with Cal Naughton Jr. Finishing second. 152 00:10:15,800 --> 00:10:18,300 - Yeah! - Hey, man! 153 00:10:18,800 --> 00:10:20,700 - Shake... - And bake! 154 00:10:22,500 --> 00:10:25,400 Hey, driver! Drive these. 155 00:10:28,800 --> 00:10:30,400 Please be 18. 156 00:10:40,900 --> 00:10:43,800 You want to make this out to Charlotte? 157 00:10:44,000 --> 00:10:45,500 Hey, excuse me, Ricky. 158 00:10:45,600 --> 00:10:47,600 - Hey, Dale. - Hey, can I get your autograph? 159 00:10:47,600 --> 00:10:50,800 - Sure. Who do I make this out to? - It's for me. I think you're awesome. 160 00:10:51,000 --> 00:10:53,400 - Don't tell the other drivers. - I'm not gonna tell anyone. 161 00:10:53,700 --> 00:10:55,000 I'll see you out there. 162 00:10:55,200 --> 00:10:57,200 Absolutely, ma'am, I'd love to sign your baby. 163 00:10:57,400 --> 00:10:59,400 You're not gonna wanna wash that forehead. 164 00:10:59,700 --> 00:11:03,400 - That's right, Powerade's number one. - Not just for hydration, for vitamin. 165 00:11:03,400 --> 00:11:06,000 No, it's me, it's me, Susan, your assistant. 166 00:11:06,300 --> 00:11:08,300 Gotta watch it when I get into autograph mode. 167 00:11:08,500 --> 00:11:11,400 I know, I'm sorry. It's my fault, I shouldn't have been standing. 168 00:11:11,600 --> 00:11:14,100 I'm Ricky Bobby. Christmas is right around the corner... 169 00:11:14,400 --> 00:11:16,300 ...and what better gift to give a loved one... 170 00:11:16,400 --> 00:11:18,100 ...than the Jackhawk 9000? 171 00:11:18,300 --> 00:11:19,600 Available at Wal-Mart. 172 00:11:20,000 --> 00:11:22,200 When you work on your mysterious lady-part stuff... 173 00:11:22,500 --> 00:11:25,800 ...you should have the right tools too. So that's why you should use... 174 00:11:26,100 --> 00:11:27,900 ...Maypax, the official tampon of NASCAR. 175 00:11:29,700 --> 00:11:30,800 I'm Ricky Bobby. 176 00:11:31,100 --> 00:11:34,300 If you don't chew Big Red, then f*** you. 177 00:11:38,800 --> 00:11:39,900 Prune candy. 178 00:11:42,400 --> 00:11:43,500 - You happy? - I'm very happy. 179 00:11:43,800 --> 00:11:46,200 - Hey, I'm Ricky Bobby. - And I'm Cal Naughton Jr. 180 00:11:46,400 --> 00:11:48,600 Urging you never to travel to Tijuana. 181 00:11:49,100 --> 00:11:50,600 Ricky! Ricky! Ricky! 182 00:11:50,800 --> 00:11:52,900 Okay, I'm starting to get sick. 183 00:11:53,500 --> 00:11:56,800 Dick Berggren in Las Vegas, Victory Lane, for Fox Television. 184 00:11:57,000 --> 00:11:59,900 Ricky Bobby, today's big winner. Heck of a win for you today... 185 00:12:00,200 --> 00:12:04,200 ...but it seems as if you either win or crash the car trying to win. 186 00:12:04,400 --> 00:12:07,500 Well, Dick, here's the deal. I'm the best there is, plain and simple. 187 00:12:07,600 --> 00:12:10,000 I mean, I wake up in the morning and I piss excellence. 188 00:12:10,300 --> 00:12:12,200 And nobody can hang with my stuff. 189 00:12:12,400 --> 00:12:15,500 You know, I'm just a big, hairy, American winning machine. 190 00:12:15,800 --> 00:12:18,600 If you ain't first, you're last. You know what I'm talking about? 191 00:12:18,900 --> 00:12:20,200 That phrase is trademarked... 192 00:12:20,400 --> 00:12:22,800 ...not to be used without permission of Ricky Bobby Inc. 193 00:12:29,900 --> 00:12:33,400 Supper's ready! Come on, y'all! I've been slaving over this for hours! 194 00:12:35,600 --> 00:12:37,500 Dear Lord baby Jesus... 195 00:12:37,700 --> 00:12:41,100 ...or as our brothers to the south call you, Jesus... 196 00:12:41,500 --> 00:12:47,400 ...we thank you so much for this bountiful harvest of Domino's, KFC... 197 00:12:47,500 --> 00:12:50,501 ...and the always delicious Taco Bell. 198 00:12:50,800 --> 00:12:53,500 I just want to take time to say thank you for my family... 199 00:12:53,700 --> 00:12:57,200 ...my two beautiful, beautiful, handsome, striking sons... 200 00:12:57,400 --> 00:12:59,800 ...Walker and Texas Ranger... 201 00:13:00,100 --> 00:13:02,000 ...or T.R., as we call him... 202 00:13:02,300 --> 00:13:05,000 ...and of course, my red-hot smoking wife, Carley... 203 00:13:05,200 --> 00:13:07,000 ...who is a stone-cold fox. 204 00:13:07,300 --> 00:13:10,800 Who if you were to rate her ass on 100, it would easily be a 94. 205 00:13:11,000 --> 00:13:14,400 Also wanna thank you for my best friend, Cal Naughton Jr... 206 00:13:14,500 --> 00:13:16,400 ...who's got my back no matter what. 207 00:13:17,500 --> 00:13:18,600 Shake and Bake. 208 00:13:18,800 --> 00:13:21,900 Dear Lord baby Jesus, we also thank you for my wife's father, Chip. 209 00:13:22,200 --> 00:13:24,400 We hope that you can use your baby Jesus powers... 210 00:13:24,500 --> 00:13:27,400 ...to heal him and his horrible leg. 211 00:13:27,400 --> 00:13:31,200 And it smells terrible and the dogs are always bothering with it. 212 00:13:31,400 --> 00:13:33,000 Dear tiny infant Jesus, we... 213 00:13:33,200 --> 00:13:35,000 Hey, you know, sweetie... 214 00:13:35,700 --> 00:13:37,400 ...Jesus did grow up. 215 00:13:37,400 --> 00:13:39,600 You don't always have to call him "baby." 216 00:13:39,600 --> 00:13:41,400 It's odd and off-putting to pray to a baby. 217 00:13:41,500 --> 00:13:44,500 Well, I like the Christmas Jesus best and I'm saying grace. 218 00:13:44,500 --> 00:13:47,300 When you say grace, say it to grownup Jesus, teenage Jesus... 219 00:13:47,600 --> 00:13:49,000 ...bearded Jesus, whoever you want. 220 00:13:49,200 --> 00:13:50,500 You know what I want? 221 00:13:50,500 --> 00:13:55,200 I want you to do this grace good, so that God will let us win tomorrow. 222 00:13:55,600 --> 00:13:57,200 Dear tiny Jesus... 223 00:13:57,400 --> 00:14:02,200 ...in your golden-fleece diapers, with your tiny, little, fat, balled-up fists... 224 00:14:02,500 --> 00:14:04,800 ...pawing at the air... - He was a man. He had a beard. 225 00:14:05,100 --> 00:14:07,400 Look, I like the baby version the best, do you hear me? 226 00:14:07,700 --> 00:14:09,400 I win the races and I get the money. 227 00:14:09,600 --> 00:14:13,200 Ricky, finish the damn grace. 228 00:14:13,500 --> 00:14:16,200 I like to picture Jesus in a tuxedo T-shirt... 229 00:14:16,400 --> 00:14:19,000 ...because it says, like, "I wanna be formal... 230 00:14:19,300 --> 00:14:21,000 - Right. ...but I'm here to party too." 231 00:14:21,200 --> 00:14:23,500 Because I like to party, so I like my Jesus to party. 232 00:14:23,700 --> 00:14:27,300 I like to picture Jesus as a ninja fighting off evil samurai. 233 00:14:27,400 --> 00:14:31,400 I like to think of Jesus, like, with giant eagle's wings. 234 00:14:31,500 --> 00:14:34,600 And singing lead vocals for Lynyrd Skynyrd... 235 00:14:34,800 --> 00:14:36,600 ...with, like, a angel band. 236 00:14:36,600 --> 00:14:39,500 And I'm in the front row, and I'm hammered drunk. 237 00:14:39,800 --> 00:14:41,500 Hey, Cal? Why don't you just shut up? 238 00:14:41,500 --> 00:14:43,600 - Yes, ma'am. - Okay. 239 00:14:43,900 --> 00:14:49,300 Dear 8-pound, 6-ounce, newborn infant Jesus... 240 00:14:49,700 --> 00:14:51,400 ...don't even know a word yet... 241 00:14:51,700 --> 00:14:55,600 ...just a little infant and so cuddly, but still omnipotent... 242 00:14:55,900 --> 00:15:00,400 ...we just thank you for all the races I've won and the 21.2 million dollars... 243 00:15:02,800 --> 00:15:04,300 Love that money! 244 00:15:04,600 --> 00:15:06,900 - That I have accrued over this past season. 245 00:15:07,200 --> 00:15:09,300 Also, due to a binding endorsement contract... 246 00:15:09,500 --> 00:15:11,900 ...that stipulates I mention Powerade at each grace... 247 00:15:12,200 --> 00:15:14,400 ...I just wanna say that Powerade is delicious... 248 00:15:14,500 --> 00:15:16,700 ...and it cools you off on a hot summer day. 249 00:15:16,900 --> 00:15:22,600 And we look forward to Powerade's release of Mystic Mountain Blueberry. 250 00:15:22,800 --> 00:15:26,200 Thank you for all your power and your grace, dear baby God. Amen. 251 00:15:26,400 --> 00:15:27,500 - Amen. - Amen. 252 00:15:27,700 --> 00:15:29,000 Let's dig in! 253 00:15:29,200 --> 00:15:32,200 That was a hell of a grace, man. You nailed that like a split hog! 254 00:15:32,500 --> 00:15:34,200 I'm not gonna lie to you, it felt good. 255 00:15:34,500 --> 00:15:36,100 Dad, you made that grace your bitch. 256 00:15:36,400 --> 00:15:38,600 Hey, boys, I wanna see some napkins in the lap. 257 00:15:38,800 --> 00:15:40,200 Boys, how was school today? 258 00:15:40,400 --> 00:15:43,400 I threw a bunch of Grandpa Chip's war medals off the bridge. 259 00:15:44,300 --> 00:15:47,000 Sounds like a good day. Texas Ranger, how about you? 260 00:15:47,200 --> 00:15:50,500 Well, the teacher asked me what was the capital of North Carolina. 261 00:15:50,600 --> 00:15:52,600 I said, "Washington, D.C." 262 00:15:52,600 --> 00:15:53,600 - Bingo. - Nice. 263 00:15:53,800 --> 00:15:57,800 She said, "No, you're wrong." I said, "You got a lumpy butt." 264 00:15:58,200 --> 00:16:01,400 She got mad at me and yelled at me and I pissed in my pants. 265 00:16:01,400 --> 00:16:04,400 And I never did change my pee pants all day. 266 00:16:04,400 --> 00:16:06,600 I'm still sitting in my dirty pee pants. 267 00:16:06,800 --> 00:16:10,100 I wet my bed until I was 19. There's no shame in that. 268 00:16:10,400 --> 00:16:14,700 I get emotional because you guys are working so hard. 269 00:16:15,400 --> 00:16:17,900 I'm just so proud of you. You remind me of me... 270 00:16:18,200 --> 00:16:19,700 ...precocious and full of wonderment. 271 00:16:20,000 --> 00:16:21,800 Tell you what, Ricky, you are truly blessed. 272 00:16:22,100 --> 00:16:24,400 - These two are two in a million. - I am. 273 00:16:24,500 --> 00:16:26,600 Just like Carley's tatas. 274 00:16:26,600 --> 00:16:28,900 You won't find another rack like that, I guarantee. 275 00:16:29,200 --> 00:16:30,800 Thank you, Cal. 276 00:16:31,000 --> 00:16:32,500 That's real sweet of you, Cal. 277 00:16:32,600 --> 00:16:35,500 That's real nice. That's one of the nicest things you've ever said. 278 00:16:35,700 --> 00:16:38,300 - Well, I mean it. - Stop, you're gonna make me cry. 279 00:16:38,500 --> 00:16:40,200 It comes from my heart, that's why. 280 00:16:40,700 --> 00:16:42,400 I can't hold my tongue. 281 00:16:42,700 --> 00:16:46,000 These kids are my grandchildren, and you are raising them wrong. 282 00:16:46,200 --> 00:16:47,500 They are terrible boys. 283 00:16:47,500 --> 00:16:50,300 Shut up, Chip, or I'll go ape-shit on your ass! 284 00:16:50,500 --> 00:16:53,000 I'm gonna scissor-kick you in the back of the head. 285 00:16:53,200 --> 00:16:55,100 - Yeah! - Yeah. Turn up the heat. 286 00:16:55,300 --> 00:16:56,800 Go on and get some, boys. 287 00:16:57,000 --> 00:16:59,400 I'm 10 years old, but I'll beat your ass. 288 00:16:59,400 --> 00:17:02,100 Chip, I'm gonna come at you like a spider monkey. 289 00:17:02,300 --> 00:17:04,000 Like a spider monkey! Go on. 290 00:17:04,200 --> 00:17:05,400 Chip, you brought this on. 291 00:17:05,400 --> 00:17:07,400 The greatest generation, my ass. 292 00:17:07,500 --> 00:17:09,200 Tom Brokaw is a punk. 293 00:17:09,400 --> 00:17:10,400 What is wrong with you? 294 00:17:10,400 --> 00:17:12,700 Chip, I'm all jacked up on Mountain Dew. 295 00:17:13,600 --> 00:17:14,600 I love that. 296 00:17:18,500 --> 00:17:21,500 I sure as hell am, Chip. I love the way they're talking to you. 297 00:17:21,800 --> 00:17:24,500 They're winners. Winners get to do what they want. 298 00:17:24,500 --> 00:17:26,200 Hell, you're just a bag of bones. 299 00:17:26,400 --> 00:17:29,100 Only thing you ever done with your life is make a hot daughter. 300 00:17:29,400 --> 00:17:31,300 That's it. That is it! 301 00:17:31,600 --> 00:17:32,600 We wanted us some wussies... 302 00:17:32,900 --> 00:17:35,600 ...we would've named them Dr. Quinn and Medicine Woman, okay? 303 00:17:35,800 --> 00:17:37,900 I work too hard for your bull, Chip. 304 00:17:38,100 --> 00:17:39,900 Come here. You make me hot. Come here. 305 00:17:40,900 --> 00:17:42,400 Everyone just keep eating. 306 00:17:42,400 --> 00:17:45,100 - It's on. - Come here. Come here. 307 00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:48,900 All right. 308 00:17:49,700 --> 00:17:51,500 I'll hold your hair. 309 00:18:03,900 --> 00:18:05,500 - Hey, Stephen. - Hey, Ricky. 310 00:18:05,600 --> 00:18:07,500 Got those two tickets for my special friend? 311 00:18:07,700 --> 00:18:11,400 Yeah, sure do. You know I do, Ricky. Got them right here, buddy. 312 00:18:11,600 --> 00:18:13,800 Great. Hey, how's your mama's hip? 313 00:18:14,000 --> 00:18:16,100 She's gonna be all right, thank you for asking. 314 00:18:16,300 --> 00:18:18,400 - Appreciate it. Hey, good luck today. - Thanks. 315 00:18:18,400 --> 00:18:20,900 That's the saddest thing I've ever seen in my life. 316 00:18:21,200 --> 00:18:23,800 That boy leaves two tickets for his daddy at every race... 317 00:18:24,100 --> 00:18:25,400 ...and he never shows up. 318 00:18:25,400 --> 00:18:27,300 That's a shame. 319 00:18:27,600 --> 00:18:30,500 The human heart is such a mystery. 320 00:18:31,700 --> 00:18:34,000 - Let's sell these bitches, huh? - Hell, yeah. 321 00:18:34,200 --> 00:18:37,000 - Beer money, huh? - There you go. Yes. 322 00:18:38,400 --> 00:18:40,600 As the laps wind down, Jamie McMurray is the leader. 323 00:18:40,900 --> 00:18:43,900 Cal Naughton in second. Ricky Bobby in third. 324 00:18:44,200 --> 00:18:46,600 What's up, Cal? You ready for a little Shake-and-Bake-age? 325 00:18:46,900 --> 00:18:49,600 - Hey, buddy. - Naughton Jr. Is letting Ricky Bobby... 326 00:18:49,900 --> 00:18:53,400 ...draft up to him to make that slingshot move past McMurray. 327 00:18:53,700 --> 00:18:56,200 Can you believe that he would do that for his teammate? 328 00:18:56,500 --> 00:18:58,000 Set him up that way? 329 00:18:59,200 --> 00:19:01,200 Slingshot, engage. 330 00:19:03,500 --> 00:19:05,400 And there goes Ricky Bobby on the outside! 331 00:19:05,400 --> 00:19:06,600 That's how we do it. 332 00:19:06,800 --> 00:19:09,400 Makes his move. Naughton's giving him plenty of room. 333 00:19:09,400 --> 00:19:12,100 What in the hell is he doing, guys? Get him off of me. 334 00:19:12,400 --> 00:19:14,400 They touch! They spin! 335 00:19:15,100 --> 00:19:16,700 Snap! 336 00:19:18,400 --> 00:19:19,700 Come on, man! 337 00:19:23,900 --> 00:19:25,800 See you, wouldn't wanna be you. 338 00:19:36,800 --> 00:19:40,100 Look at that! Ricky Bobby's gonna try to win the race in reverse. 339 00:19:40,300 --> 00:19:42,000 Man, he wants this win bad! 340 00:19:43,800 --> 00:19:45,800 Ricky Bobby wins it in reverse! 341 00:19:46,000 --> 00:19:47,800 Unbelievable! I love that! That is cool! 342 00:19:48,100 --> 00:19:53,000 Jamie, losing's never fun, but here's something to pick your spirits up. 343 00:19:53,200 --> 00:19:55,800 It's real nice. I got it at Target. It's on sale. 344 00:20:01,400 --> 00:20:03,100 Yeah! 345 00:20:09,000 --> 00:20:12,200 - That's it. Another one. Another one. - All right, man. We did it! 346 00:20:12,400 --> 00:20:15,800 I don't wanna be raining on your parade, but I gotta tell you... 347 00:20:16,000 --> 00:20:20,000 ...that was some of the dumbest driving I have ever seen in my life. 348 00:20:20,400 --> 00:20:22,200 - Thank you. - And I know you won the race... 349 00:20:22,400 --> 00:20:23,900 ...but you're not gonna live forever. 350 00:20:24,200 --> 00:20:26,900 I'm not stupid, Lucius. No one lives forever. No one. 351 00:20:27,200 --> 00:20:31,200 But with advances in modern science and my high level of income... 352 00:20:31,500 --> 00:20:35,000 ...I mean, it's not crazy to think I can't live to be 245, maybe 300. 353 00:20:35,200 --> 00:20:38,600 I just read in the newspaper they put a pig heart in some Russian guy. 354 00:20:38,900 --> 00:20:41,200 Know what...? I mean, do you know what that means? 355 00:20:41,400 --> 00:20:44,000 No, I don't know what that means. I guess, longer life. 356 00:20:44,200 --> 00:20:46,000 - Well, no, he didn't live. - He didn't live? 357 00:20:46,200 --> 00:20:48,800 No. It's just exciting that we're trying things like that. 358 00:20:49,200 --> 00:20:51,600 - Ricky? - Hey, Mr. Dennit. 359 00:20:51,900 --> 00:20:53,900 - Cheers. - Yeah. 360 00:20:54,200 --> 00:20:56,500 - She already wasted? - Celebrating. 361 00:20:56,600 --> 00:20:58,800 She's celebrating. You feel pretty good today, huh? 362 00:20:59,100 --> 00:21:01,000 Look, Ricky, early word out of NASCAR... 363 00:21:01,300 --> 00:21:04,000 ...is your little obscene gesture's gonna cost you 100 points. 364 00:21:04,200 --> 00:21:06,500 You know how much that costs us in sponsorship dollars? 365 00:21:06,700 --> 00:21:08,400 With all due respect, Mr. Dennit... 366 00:21:08,700 --> 00:21:13,600 ...I had no idea you had experimental surgery to have your balls removed. 367 00:21:13,900 --> 00:21:15,800 What did you say? What was that? 368 00:21:16,100 --> 00:21:17,900 Well, what? I said, "With all due respect." 369 00:21:18,200 --> 00:21:20,800 That doesn't mean you get to say whatever you wanna say to me. 370 00:21:21,100 --> 00:21:22,700 - It sure as heck does. - No, it doesn't. 371 00:21:22,900 --> 00:21:24,500 It's in the Geneva Convention. Look it up. 372 00:21:24,800 --> 00:21:26,900 I remember your daddy used to love it. 373 00:21:27,200 --> 00:21:31,800 - This is not my dad... This is my team... - Used to love it when I used to win. 374 00:21:32,000 --> 00:21:34,500 Now, I suggest you and your wife, Mrs. Jim Beam... 375 00:21:34,500 --> 00:21:36,700 ...you guys go take a chill pill. Enjoy the win! 376 00:21:36,900 --> 00:21:38,600 - Come on, man! - Yeah, Ricky. Okay. 377 00:21:38,800 --> 00:21:40,500 Baby, photo op, photo op. Come on. 378 00:21:40,800 --> 00:21:42,400 Come on, number one. 379 00:21:43,400 --> 00:21:45,400 Hold my hand, baby. 380 00:21:53,500 --> 00:21:56,600 I'll tell you what, though, guys, that was a hell of a race today. 381 00:21:56,600 --> 00:21:59,500 - Shake and Bake in full effect. - It's always been like that. 382 00:22:01,400 --> 00:22:03,400 Me and Ricky, since we were little kids, man. 383 00:22:03,500 --> 00:22:06,800 We go together like Chinese food and chocolate pudding. Let's face it. 384 00:22:07,000 --> 00:22:09,600 Yeah, but those are two things that don't really go together. 385 00:22:09,900 --> 00:22:12,400 We go together like cocaine and waffles. 386 00:22:12,400 --> 00:22:15,300 No, like, for instance, if I say peanut butter and... 387 00:22:15,900 --> 00:22:17,800 - Ladies, right? - Yep. 388 00:22:18,000 --> 00:22:19,200 - No, jelly. - Am I right? 389 00:22:19,400 --> 00:22:21,500 - Jelly? - You like to put jelly on a lady? 390 00:22:21,800 --> 00:22:24,600 I'm gonna settle this thing. Let's just get ourselves... 391 00:22:24,600 --> 00:22:28,600 ...a whole mess of cocktails, get drunk and work this thing out. 392 00:22:28,900 --> 00:22:30,500 - Work this thing out. - That's right. 393 00:22:31,400 --> 00:22:35,400 So I was talking to Nana on Saturday, and her birthday's coming up... 394 00:22:35,400 --> 00:22:37,800 ...but I don't know what to get her. She's gonna be 88. 395 00:22:38,000 --> 00:22:39,600 Get her a coffin. 396 00:22:45,600 --> 00:22:49,500 Hey, Cal, I'm sorry about wrecking you today. 397 00:22:49,600 --> 00:22:53,600 - I mean, but that was for the team. - No, that's cool. That's cool, I know. 398 00:22:53,600 --> 00:22:56,200 I was thinking, though, one time... 399 00:22:56,400 --> 00:23:01,000 ...it would be really awesome if, like, you could slingshot me in for a win. 400 00:23:01,200 --> 00:23:03,700 Yeah, but... Okay, but if you won... 401 00:23:04,000 --> 00:23:06,300 ...how am I gonna win? - Yeah. 402 00:23:06,600 --> 00:23:09,000 - Think about it. - No, I was thinking about it. 403 00:23:09,300 --> 00:23:11,400 I mean, it's not like you're finishing 18th. 404 00:23:11,400 --> 00:23:14,500 - There's nothing wrong with silver. - Nothing wrong with silver at all. 405 00:23:14,700 --> 00:23:17,000 I'm just kidding you, man. I don't wanna win. 406 00:23:19,000 --> 00:23:20,800 I'll just bury it down inside. 407 00:23:21,100 --> 00:23:23,700 Bury it deep down in there, and never bring it up again. 408 00:23:24,000 --> 00:23:26,200 It's painful, and I love you! 409 00:23:26,400 --> 00:23:28,200 Get her a gigolo. 410 00:23:28,500 --> 00:23:31,100 - What? - A guy to have sex with her. 411 00:23:31,300 --> 00:23:33,200 No, she's gonna be 88 and... 412 00:23:33,400 --> 00:23:36,000 You don't stop liking sex when you're old. 413 00:23:37,400 --> 00:23:40,400 Well, I was thinking more along the line of... 414 00:23:40,700 --> 00:23:45,200 - Like, she likes afghans and quilts. - She's probably got a million of those. 415 00:23:45,400 --> 00:23:48,400 How many dudes does she have coming over to have sex with her? 416 00:23:48,900 --> 00:23:51,700 - None. - Exactly. 417 00:23:52,100 --> 00:23:54,100 Be thoughtful, Glenn. 418 00:23:55,400 --> 00:23:57,000 Don't stop. 419 00:24:03,900 --> 00:24:04,800 What is that? 420 00:24:05,100 --> 00:24:07,600 Someone made a tape of something dying or something. 421 00:24:07,600 --> 00:24:09,600 Hey, turn that crap off. What's going on? 422 00:24:09,800 --> 00:24:11,700 I want this music out of my head. 423 00:24:12,000 --> 00:24:13,500 Hey, turn that off! 424 00:24:14,200 --> 00:24:15,900 Turn that off right now! 425 00:24:21,500 --> 00:24:24,200 Why did you stop the jazz music? 426 00:24:25,900 --> 00:24:28,200 Was it not pleasant for you? 427 00:24:28,400 --> 00:24:31,300 No one plays jazz here at The Pit Stop, okay? 428 00:24:31,500 --> 00:24:33,900 So why is the song on the jukebox? 429 00:24:34,200 --> 00:24:37,400 We keep it on there for profiling purposes. 430 00:24:37,400 --> 00:24:40,500 We also got the Pet Shop Boys and Seal. 431 00:24:41,400 --> 00:24:44,300 My name is Jean Girard... 432 00:24:44,500 --> 00:24:48,000 ...and I am a racing-car driver just like you... 433 00:24:48,300 --> 00:24:51,300 ...except I am from Formula Un. 434 00:24:52,900 --> 00:24:55,800 I am the greatest one in the whole world. 435 00:24:56,000 --> 00:25:01,400 I have been following your career with great interest, Monsieur Bobby. 436 00:25:01,700 --> 00:25:04,200 I can't understand a word you've said the whole time. 437 00:25:04,400 --> 00:25:06,200 Did you eat peanut butter or something? 438 00:25:06,400 --> 00:25:09,400 You sound like a dog with peanut butter on the roof of your mouth. 439 00:25:09,400 --> 00:25:13,100 I think what you are hearing is my accent. 440 00:25:13,300 --> 00:25:15,800 I am French. 441 00:25:16,000 --> 00:25:17,500 You say you're French? 442 00:25:18,600 --> 00:25:21,500 We? No, we are not French. 443 00:25:22,000 --> 00:25:24,900 We're American, because you're in America, okay? 444 00:25:25,100 --> 00:25:26,600 Greatest country on the planet. 445 00:25:26,800 --> 00:25:28,600 Well, what have you given the world... 446 00:25:28,800 --> 00:25:32,800 ...apart from George Bush, Cheerios, and the ThighMaster? 447 00:25:33,200 --> 00:25:35,000 - Chinese food? - Chinese food. 448 00:25:35,300 --> 00:25:36,600 That's from China. 449 00:25:36,600 --> 00:25:38,800 - Pizza. - Italy. 450 00:25:39,000 --> 00:25:41,400 - Chimichanga. - Mexican. 451 00:25:41,700 --> 00:25:44,400 Really, smarty-pants? What did French land give us? 452 00:25:44,400 --> 00:25:48,700 We invented democracy, existentialism... 453 00:25:49,000 --> 00:25:50,200 ...and the blowjob. 454 00:25:51,200 --> 00:25:53,300 - Those are three pretty good things. - Hey. 455 00:25:53,500 --> 00:25:55,000 Well, that last one's pretty cool. 456 00:25:56,200 --> 00:25:59,900 You know, the 69 with the head near the... That bit. 457 00:26:00,200 --> 00:26:01,400 We came up with it. 458 00:26:01,400 --> 00:26:03,900 We created the missionary position. 459 00:26:04,200 --> 00:26:07,700 - You're welcome. - Ricky Bobby... 460 00:26:08,000 --> 00:26:11,000 ...I have come here to defeat you. 461 00:26:11,200 --> 00:26:14,000 Oh, well, there's strikes two and three right there. 462 00:26:14,600 --> 00:26:16,200 Did you hear what he just said? 463 00:26:17,600 --> 00:26:19,700 Well, welcome to America, amigo. 464 00:26:25,000 --> 00:26:27,800 You are fast, Ricky Bobby... 465 00:26:28,400 --> 00:26:30,200 ...but I am faster. 466 00:26:30,500 --> 00:26:34,100 All right, you let go of me, you Formula One jazz nutjob! 467 00:26:34,400 --> 00:26:36,800 Like the frightened baby chipmunk... 468 00:26:37,000 --> 00:26:39,800 ...you are scared by anything that is different. 469 00:26:40,000 --> 00:26:42,400 I will let you go, Ricky... 470 00:26:42,500 --> 00:26:46,800 ...but first I want you to say: 471 00:26:48,400 --> 00:26:51,700 "I love crepes." 472 00:26:52,500 --> 00:26:55,500 Don't you say it, Ricky. These colors don't run. 473 00:26:55,500 --> 00:26:57,300 - I'm not gonna say it. - Good. 474 00:26:57,500 --> 00:26:59,500 Hey, look, Frenchy, I thought about it. 475 00:26:59,800 --> 00:27:02,000 So why don't you go ahead and break my arm? 476 00:27:02,300 --> 00:27:05,400 I do not want to break your arm, Monsieur Bobby... 477 00:27:05,400 --> 00:27:07,100 ...but I am a man of my word. 478 00:27:07,400 --> 00:27:09,400 Here's the deal. He's not gonna break it... 479 00:27:09,500 --> 00:27:12,000 ...because I'm gonna slip out of it right now. Houdini. 480 00:27:12,200 --> 00:27:13,500 Get down, you little pancake. 481 00:27:13,600 --> 00:27:15,200 Someone get me a beer while I'm here. 482 00:27:15,500 --> 00:27:17,500 But you have forced me to do this. 483 00:27:17,800 --> 00:27:20,500 You are now mocking me and making me look ridiculous. 484 00:27:20,700 --> 00:27:22,500 Just say, "I love crepes." 485 00:27:22,500 --> 00:27:26,400 You know, just to put this in there, I had a whole mess of crepes this morning. 486 00:27:26,600 --> 00:27:28,600 They're like pancakes, maybe even better. 487 00:27:28,600 --> 00:27:31,500 - Are they the really thin pancakes? - Yeah. 488 00:27:31,500 --> 00:27:34,500 They are the really thin pancakes. It's just a French word for them. 489 00:27:34,800 --> 00:27:37,400 - My God, I love those. - Put any syrups you want on them. 490 00:27:37,400 --> 00:27:40,400 - I'm saying, think about it. - They come with cheese sometimes? 491 00:27:40,400 --> 00:27:42,300 Yes, of course, a fromage-crepe. 492 00:27:42,400 --> 00:27:44,400 Well, why didn't someone yell that right away? 493 00:27:44,700 --> 00:27:46,400 You know what's in the crepe suzette? 494 00:27:46,400 --> 00:27:48,600 - Oh, I love the crepe suzette. - With the sugar... 495 00:27:48,800 --> 00:27:51,400 ...and lemon juice, Grand Marnier. - Sugar and lemon juice. 496 00:27:51,800 --> 00:27:54,200 I wish I could crawl into one of those right now. 497 00:27:54,400 --> 00:27:58,000 - I'd eat my way out from the inside. - They are tasty. 498 00:27:58,200 --> 00:28:00,600 Either way this goes, could we get some after we're done? 499 00:28:00,900 --> 00:28:03,500 - Absolutely. We're gonna do that. - So, what if you just said: 500 00:28:03,700 --> 00:28:08,000 "I love really thin pancakes"? That is a fair compromise, no? 501 00:28:08,200 --> 00:28:10,400 - That is a fair compromise. - Very fair, actually. 502 00:28:10,400 --> 00:28:13,300 No! Because then everyone would know I really meant crepes. 503 00:28:13,500 --> 00:28:15,000 That's a pretty good compromise. 504 00:28:15,200 --> 00:28:18,100 Why do you want me to break your arm so badly? 505 00:28:18,300 --> 00:28:21,400 You don't understand because you don't understand liberty. 506 00:28:21,500 --> 00:28:23,500 You don't understand freedom. 507 00:28:23,600 --> 00:28:27,400 So you put a crack in my arm like the crack in the Liberty Bell. 508 00:28:27,700 --> 00:28:30,500 Hey. This is just between you and me, okay? 509 00:28:30,700 --> 00:28:32,900 I mean, forget all these other guys. 510 00:28:33,200 --> 00:28:35,800 But he did give you a pretty decent out. But it's your call. 511 00:28:36,100 --> 00:28:37,700 What do you think? 512 00:28:38,500 --> 00:28:40,400 - Don't say it. - Yeah. I'm not gonna say it. 513 00:28:40,500 --> 00:28:42,000 Break it, Pepe Le Pew. 514 00:28:42,500 --> 00:28:43,600 As you wish. 515 00:28:46,800 --> 00:28:50,800 - He actually did it! - All right. You did it. Back off. 516 00:28:51,200 --> 00:28:53,000 - I didn't say it! - No, you did not. 517 00:28:53,200 --> 00:28:56,600 Your injury is one of ignorance and pride. 518 00:28:58,900 --> 00:29:01,500 Hold it right there, Mr. Fancy Pants Foreigner. 519 00:29:01,600 --> 00:29:03,100 You just broke my bro's arm. 520 00:29:03,300 --> 00:29:04,800 Now you're about to get Tasered. 521 00:29:06,300 --> 00:29:09,000 - Say hello to Dr. Watts. - Get him, Cal. 522 00:29:11,200 --> 00:29:13,400 I need you all to step away... 523 00:29:13,400 --> 00:29:14,800 ...from my driver. 524 00:29:15,000 --> 00:29:18,000 The hell you talking about, "my driver"? What are you doing with a gun? 525 00:29:18,200 --> 00:29:20,600 Don't you worry about my gun, Ricky. 526 00:29:20,800 --> 00:29:23,700 Jean Girard is my new boy at Dennit Racing. He's here to win us... 527 00:29:24,000 --> 00:29:26,600 ...an overall-points championship, something you apparently... 528 00:29:26,900 --> 00:29:29,600 ...have no interest in. He's gonna usher in a new era. 529 00:29:29,600 --> 00:29:31,400 Mr. Dennit, with all due respect... 530 00:29:31,500 --> 00:29:33,800 And remember, I'm saying, "with all due respect." 531 00:29:34,100 --> 00:29:38,500 - That idea ain't worth a velvet painting of a whale and a dolphin getting it on. 532 00:29:38,700 --> 00:29:41,800 That's good. That's good fun. That's good fun, Ricky... 533 00:29:42,000 --> 00:29:44,900 ...but that doesn't bother me anymore because Jean is the future... 534 00:29:45,200 --> 00:29:46,400 ...Ricky, the past. 535 00:29:46,700 --> 00:29:48,900 So, Jean, introduce me to your new teammates. 536 00:29:49,500 --> 00:29:53,500 Everybody, this is my husband, Gregory. 537 00:29:54,000 --> 00:29:55,500 What? 538 00:29:56,600 --> 00:29:58,200 See you at the track. 539 00:29:58,800 --> 00:30:00,300 Did he just say "husband"? 540 00:30:00,600 --> 00:30:04,900 Sweet Lord. Dennit hired a gay Frenchman as your teammate. 541 00:30:05,200 --> 00:30:07,500 The room's starting to spin real fast. 542 00:30:08,300 --> 00:30:11,000 Because of gayness. 543 00:30:12,600 --> 00:30:16,000 - Cal, I love you. - Ricky? Ricky! Oh, God! 544 00:30:25,200 --> 00:30:30,000 Fans and NASCAR, everyone is talking about this new driver, Jean Girard. 545 00:30:30,200 --> 00:30:33,600 Let's find out a little bit more about him from our reporter, Davey Wesling. 546 00:30:33,800 --> 00:30:37,500 Talented. Eccentric. Dominating. 547 00:30:37,800 --> 00:30:41,200 These are the words that define Jean Girard. 548 00:30:41,800 --> 00:30:46,300 Before each race, Jean Girard spends time with his world-class horses... 549 00:30:46,500 --> 00:30:48,600 ...who are also gay. 550 00:30:48,600 --> 00:30:51,200 Jean's days are filled with sun-drenched walks... 551 00:30:51,400 --> 00:30:53,400 ...with his beloved husband, Gregory. 552 00:30:54,400 --> 00:30:57,300 Though Gregory is no stay-at-home spouse. 553 00:30:57,500 --> 00:31:00,400 He's a world-class trainer of German shepherds. 554 00:31:00,500 --> 00:31:02,800 Rolfe, the Nazi boyfriend. Up on top! 555 00:31:05,000 --> 00:31:07,400 Very nice. Very nice. 556 00:31:07,900 --> 00:31:11,600 Only time will tell if Jean's foray into NAS CAR... 557 00:31:11,800 --> 00:31:13,900 ...will end up in Victory Lane. 558 00:31:34,600 --> 00:31:36,800 Well, kiss my ass on Sunday. 559 00:31:37,600 --> 00:31:40,000 - Lucius, what the hell is going on? - The man can drive. 560 00:31:40,200 --> 00:31:42,000 And check out his crew chief over there. 561 00:31:42,300 --> 00:31:44,500 Won the Nobel Prize for physics back in '93. 562 00:31:44,600 --> 00:31:47,600 Ladies and gentlemen, that is a new track record. 563 00:31:47,800 --> 00:31:51,500 As it stands now, Jean Girard is sitting on the pole, which is, of course... 564 00:31:51,500 --> 00:31:53,800 ...a statement of fact and in no way a comment... 565 00:31:54,000 --> 00:31:55,800 ...on the driver's sexual orientation. 566 00:31:56,100 --> 00:31:58,800 Put a smile on your face? That's the future of Dennit Racing. 567 00:31:59,000 --> 00:32:01,500 - That make you happy? - I'm just thrilled, Mr. Dennit. 568 00:32:01,500 --> 00:32:03,600 I love seeing some French guy break my record... 569 00:32:03,900 --> 00:32:06,700 ...while I got my arm wrapped up like a fricking gordita. 570 00:32:06,900 --> 00:32:08,400 Hello, Ricky Bobby. 571 00:32:09,200 --> 00:32:13,900 What happened last week was very regrettable and unfortunate... 572 00:32:14,800 --> 00:32:17,700 ...and, as a gesture, I would like to... 573 00:32:18,000 --> 00:32:19,500 ...sign your cast, please. 574 00:32:19,500 --> 00:32:22,300 Hell, you know what, get my car off the trailer, guys. 575 00:32:22,500 --> 00:32:24,100 Baby! That's my baby! 576 00:32:24,300 --> 00:32:27,500 Hold on, Ricky. Ricky, Ricky, Rick. What are you talking about? 577 00:32:27,600 --> 00:32:31,300 Look. I wanna drive. My arm's fine. So let's get the car off the trailer. 578 00:32:31,500 --> 00:32:33,400 Don't look at me. Get it off the trailer! 579 00:32:33,700 --> 00:32:37,700 Even with a healthy arm, you don't have a chance against Jean Girard. 580 00:32:38,200 --> 00:32:40,900 All right, fellas. You heard the man. Get the car off. Let's go. 581 00:32:41,200 --> 00:32:42,600 You guys heard it. 582 00:32:43,300 --> 00:32:46,400 - What's going on? - Soon you will know what it is like... 583 00:32:46,400 --> 00:32:51,100 ...to be defeated by the hands of somebody who is truly better than you. 584 00:32:52,900 --> 00:32:56,700 As William Blake wrote, "The cut worm forgives the plow." 585 00:32:56,900 --> 00:32:59,800 Well, let me just quote the late, great Colonel Sanders... 586 00:33:00,000 --> 00:33:03,500 ...who said, "I'm too drunk to taste this chicken." 587 00:33:03,700 --> 00:33:05,600 What's that got to do with this? 588 00:33:05,800 --> 00:33:09,400 I got a message for all of them. Ready? Shake and Bake! 589 00:33:09,700 --> 00:33:13,200 What does that do? Does that blow your mind? That just happened! 590 00:33:13,400 --> 00:33:16,600 What is that, a catch phrase or is that epilepsy? 591 00:33:16,800 --> 00:33:19,400 - Shake and Bake. Shake and Bake. - What? 592 00:33:19,500 --> 00:33:24,300 Listen, you better be careful because tomorrow you're going to get beaten. 593 00:33:24,400 --> 00:33:26,500 Beaten real bad, cowboy. 594 00:33:26,800 --> 00:33:28,200 - Really? - Yes! 595 00:33:28,400 --> 00:33:30,400 - I don't want to know. - That's news to me. 596 00:33:30,600 --> 00:33:34,000 - Tomorrow you'll be in trouble. - I'll rip you a new one. 597 00:33:34,500 --> 00:33:37,500 There's going to be a croissant I'm going to take away. 598 00:33:37,600 --> 00:33:38,800 I play for keeps! 599 00:33:39,400 --> 00:33:42,200 I give you one option, Monsieur Bobby. 600 00:33:42,400 --> 00:33:45,400 As a sign of humility, if you kiss me on the lips now... 601 00:33:45,600 --> 00:33:49,400 ...I will return to Paris and you will never see me again in NASCAR. 602 00:33:49,400 --> 00:33:50,900 The answer is never! 603 00:33:51,100 --> 00:33:53,700 - I close my... - Do you hear me? Never ever! 604 00:33:54,000 --> 00:33:56,600 - Well, yes or no? - That's sick. 605 00:33:59,500 --> 00:34:02,600 Let me tell you, hold on. Shake and Bake. 606 00:34:02,600 --> 00:34:03,900 Yeah! 607 00:34:04,100 --> 00:34:05,900 What does that mean? It makes no sense! 608 00:34:06,100 --> 00:34:07,800 This "Shake and Bake," it's nonsense. 609 00:34:08,100 --> 00:34:11,400 - Hey, baby. You guys are so smooth. - Thanks, darling. 610 00:34:11,500 --> 00:34:14,500 Cal, you could say that 10,000 times and it still wouldn't be enough. 611 00:34:14,800 --> 00:34:17,000 - It fires me up. - I love it. Say it one more time. 612 00:34:17,200 --> 00:34:19,200 - Shake and Bake! - Doesn't that feel good? 613 00:34:19,400 --> 00:34:23,400 Yeah! It rhymes, they're both verbs. It's awesome. 614 00:34:46,300 --> 00:34:49,000 NAS CAR on Fox welcomes you to Lowe's Motor Speedway... 615 00:34:49,200 --> 00:34:51,600 ...where tonight we'll go 500 miles. 616 00:34:52,400 --> 00:34:56,200 The big stories tonight are at both ends of the grid. 617 00:34:56,400 --> 00:35:00,400 Up front, Larry, the surprising French Formula One driver, Jean Girard. 618 00:35:01,600 --> 00:35:05,100 And at the opposite end of the grid, Darrell, Ricky Bobby. 619 00:35:05,300 --> 00:35:08,400 I saw Ricky Bobby last night walking around with a cast on his arm. 620 00:35:08,500 --> 00:35:11,600 Now, I don't know who he conned into letting him start this race. 621 00:35:11,600 --> 00:35:13,400 Just keep a camera on him all night long. 622 00:35:15,100 --> 00:35:16,600 I am so excited. 623 00:35:16,600 --> 00:35:19,400 This is a new era for Dennit Racing, huh? 624 00:35:19,400 --> 00:35:24,400 So serious all the time about your big race team. 625 00:35:24,500 --> 00:35:28,100 - Who cares? - But this is my life. This is my life. 626 00:35:28,400 --> 00:35:31,800 You know what? There's only one good thing about coming to the races... 627 00:35:32,000 --> 00:35:35,800 ...and that is the vibrations from the cars. 628 00:35:36,100 --> 00:35:39,900 Oh, I love when them cars whiz by. 629 00:35:41,400 --> 00:35:43,600 Can feel the motor... 630 00:35:43,800 --> 00:35:46,100 ...running up my legs. 631 00:35:48,600 --> 00:35:51,200 Ricky Bobby, who never met a sponsor he wouldn't push... 632 00:35:51,400 --> 00:35:53,400 ...has a Fig Newton sticker on his windshield. 633 00:35:53,400 --> 00:35:55,400 Think NAS CAR will black-flag him for that. 634 00:35:55,500 --> 00:35:56,900 He sold the windshield! 635 00:35:57,200 --> 00:36:00,800 This sticker is dangerous and inconvenient, but I love Fig Newtons. 636 00:36:02,400 --> 00:36:04,500 Ricky Bobby started this race in the back... 637 00:36:04,600 --> 00:36:07,000 ...but he's making no friends on the way to the front. 638 00:36:07,200 --> 00:36:10,800 I'm all about getting to the front tonight, Lucius. Let's go! Let's move it! 639 00:36:11,100 --> 00:36:13,000 Well, he's driving like a man possessed. 640 00:36:13,200 --> 00:36:17,000 I'm not even sure he realizes how much damage he's doing to his car. 641 00:36:19,600 --> 00:36:24,200 Hey, Ricky. You know you're driving like a pissed-off teenager, okay? 642 00:36:24,400 --> 00:36:26,100 Where is that Frenchy? 643 00:36:30,500 --> 00:36:32,300 I got you, Pepe Le Bitch. 644 00:36:33,900 --> 00:36:35,600 Oh, Ricky Bobby. 645 00:36:37,500 --> 00:36:39,500 Hey, it's me, America. 646 00:36:43,600 --> 00:36:45,100 Yeah, I'm here. 647 00:36:45,400 --> 00:36:47,700 You have spilled my macchiato. 648 00:36:49,500 --> 00:36:50,700 Look at Girard in the 55. 649 00:36:50,900 --> 00:36:54,800 He's made that car three lanes wide, but he's still fast. 650 00:36:55,000 --> 00:36:58,700 No, no, no, my friend. This way also closed. Not this way. 651 00:37:00,400 --> 00:37:02,600 Lucius, what's he doing? He's everywhere at once. 652 00:37:02,600 --> 00:37:05,100 Guy's dangerous, Ricky. He's like a cobra. Back off! 653 00:37:05,400 --> 00:37:07,400 Where's Cal? I need a little support here! 654 00:37:09,500 --> 00:37:11,000 Tell Ricky I'm on my way. 655 00:37:16,600 --> 00:37:18,200 Damn it! 656 00:37:18,500 --> 00:37:20,100 Hey, Ricky, listen. 657 00:37:20,400 --> 00:37:26,200 Cal blew out his engine. You have no backup. Back off! 658 00:37:26,500 --> 00:37:29,500 I ain't backing off. I'm Ricky Bobby, I'm the best there is. 659 00:37:29,800 --> 00:37:32,400 He's too good, Ricky. Lay off! 660 00:37:33,500 --> 00:37:35,500 Bobby's boxed in. There's nowhere to go there. 661 00:37:38,000 --> 00:37:41,400 He's gonna try the outside move again. I don't know if it's gonna work. 662 00:37:41,500 --> 00:37:43,200 Come on, Daddy! 663 00:37:43,500 --> 00:37:45,100 Come on, Daddy! Whoop his butt! 664 00:37:45,300 --> 00:37:47,800 Send that weird man back to Indonesia. 665 00:37:51,600 --> 00:37:53,500 - Come on! - Bobby moves to the outside. 666 00:37:53,800 --> 00:37:55,500 Not a lot of room. He's in the wall! 667 00:37:55,600 --> 00:37:57,800 Bobby is sliding, slamming into the wall. 668 00:38:04,000 --> 00:38:05,800 He's airborne! 669 00:38:07,700 --> 00:38:10,400 Yep. I'm flying through the air. This is not good. 670 00:38:10,400 --> 00:38:13,200 - Ricky! - Cool! 671 00:38:22,600 --> 00:38:24,100 Ricky! 672 00:38:31,200 --> 00:38:32,500 Peaches and cream! 673 00:38:36,100 --> 00:38:38,600 The car comes to rest in a big cloud of smoke. 674 00:38:38,800 --> 00:38:40,700 Ricky Bobby appears to be okay... 675 00:38:41,000 --> 00:38:43,400 ...but that Wonder Bread car is toast. 676 00:38:43,500 --> 00:38:45,300 Fantastic. 677 00:38:45,600 --> 00:38:48,100 Oh, my God! Ricky! 678 00:38:48,600 --> 00:38:51,400 Hakuna matata, bitches. 679 00:38:58,000 --> 00:39:00,900 It's okay, guys, it's just a wreck. Ricky can handle it. 680 00:39:01,200 --> 00:39:04,500 Now, that's one of the nastiest wrecks you'll ever see. 681 00:39:04,600 --> 00:39:06,800 Oh, no, no, no. 682 00:39:07,000 --> 00:39:09,000 It's all right. You're safe. 683 00:39:09,200 --> 00:39:11,100 - You're safe. - We got you. We're here. 684 00:39:11,400 --> 00:39:12,600 I'm on fire. 685 00:39:12,800 --> 00:39:15,100 It's all right. It's all right, you're not on fire! 686 00:39:15,400 --> 00:39:19,100 - You're lying! I'm on fire! - There is no fire. 687 00:39:19,300 --> 00:39:21,800 - I'm on fire. I don't wanna die. - Come back here. 688 00:39:22,000 --> 00:39:25,600 But something looks wrong. I mean, he's running around like he's on fire. 689 00:39:25,800 --> 00:39:29,500 Oh, my God! Help me! I don't wanna die! Stop, drop, and roll! 690 00:39:29,800 --> 00:39:33,200 - You're not on fire, Ricky Bobby! - I'm on fire! 691 00:39:33,500 --> 00:39:34,800 You're not on fire. 692 00:39:35,500 --> 00:39:38,300 But I'm not even sure he even knows where he's at right now. 693 00:39:38,600 --> 00:39:43,400 This makes us all realize the kind of pressure these drivers are under. 694 00:39:43,500 --> 00:39:45,000 Mr. Bobby, come on down here. 695 00:39:45,300 --> 00:39:48,800 Help me, Jesus! Help me, Jewish God! 696 00:39:49,100 --> 00:39:50,600 Help me, Allah! 697 00:39:52,100 --> 00:39:53,400 Help me, Tom Cruise! 698 00:39:53,400 --> 00:39:56,100 But how did he get down to his underwear that fast? 699 00:39:56,400 --> 00:39:59,600 Tom Cruise, use your witchcraft on me to get the fire off me! 700 00:39:59,600 --> 00:40:01,000 Look. Here, help's coming. 701 00:40:01,300 --> 00:40:03,000 - Wait a minute! - It's Cal Naughton. 702 00:40:04,100 --> 00:40:07,400 Oh, God! Please don't let the invisible fire burn my friend! 703 00:40:08,500 --> 00:40:12,000 I got you! I got you, man! I'll help you! 704 00:40:12,300 --> 00:40:16,000 He's jumping on Ricky, trying to put the nonexistent fire out. 705 00:40:16,200 --> 00:40:17,700 Now, that's a teammate right there. 706 00:40:17,900 --> 00:40:19,500 This is going downhill fast. 707 00:40:19,600 --> 00:40:22,500 It would be a great time to go to commercial break. 708 00:40:23,400 --> 00:40:24,800 Help me, Oprah Winfrey! 709 00:40:26,600 --> 00:40:30,600 You know, Larry, there's good days in racing, and there's bad days. 710 00:40:30,800 --> 00:40:34,100 Ricky Bobby just had himself a bad day. 711 00:40:42,600 --> 00:40:44,100 He's suffering from catatonic shock. 712 00:40:44,400 --> 00:40:47,800 His injuries are minor, but right now he can't deal with the trauma of the wreck. 713 00:40:48,100 --> 00:40:51,200 Golly, this is a hard decision. 714 00:40:51,400 --> 00:40:56,300 But I have thought about it, and I want the plug pulled. 715 00:40:56,500 --> 00:40:57,800 Yeah. 716 00:40:58,000 --> 00:41:00,300 Ma'am, your husband's not dying. 717 00:41:00,600 --> 00:41:02,700 He's just taking a nap. 718 00:41:03,400 --> 00:41:05,200 - Just look at him. - No, I'm not lying. 719 00:41:05,400 --> 00:41:07,600 I've never seen him make that noise. Ever. 720 00:41:09,100 --> 00:41:11,300 Got more plugs in him than a Circuit City. 721 00:41:11,400 --> 00:41:16,200 Oh, baby. Mama loves you so much. 722 00:41:16,900 --> 00:41:20,400 Hey, Ricky. It's me, Cal. 723 00:41:20,700 --> 00:41:25,000 Just want you to know, I got your back, bro. No matter what. 724 00:41:25,900 --> 00:41:28,400 There's something I want to get off my chest... 725 00:41:28,500 --> 00:41:32,500 ...and it's about that summer when you went away to community college. 726 00:41:32,500 --> 00:41:36,200 I got a offer to do Playgirl magazine... 727 00:41:37,000 --> 00:41:38,800 ...and I did it. 728 00:41:39,000 --> 00:41:42,200 I did a full spread for Playgirl magazine. 729 00:41:42,800 --> 00:41:46,600 I mean spread, man. I pulled my butt apart and stuff... 730 00:41:47,300 --> 00:41:51,200 ...and I was totally nude, and it was weird. 731 00:41:51,400 --> 00:41:53,100 You probably didn't hear about it... 732 00:41:53,300 --> 00:41:55,500 ...because I went under the name of Mike Honcho. 733 00:41:55,800 --> 00:41:57,400 But I just wanted you to know that. 734 00:41:57,600 --> 00:42:01,400 If you could hear me, if it got into your brain somehow... 735 00:42:01,600 --> 00:42:03,800 ...that I spread my butt cheeks as Mike Honcho. 736 00:42:04,100 --> 00:42:06,900 "Are you there, God? It's me, Margaret. 737 00:42:07,200 --> 00:42:11,000 Gretchen, my friend, got her period. I'm so jealous, God. 738 00:42:11,300 --> 00:42:14,200 I hate myself for being so jealous, but I am. 739 00:42:14,400 --> 00:42:16,500 I wish you'd help me just a little. 740 00:42:16,800 --> 00:42:21,300 Nancy's sure she's going to get it soon too. And if I'm last..." 741 00:42:21,700 --> 00:42:24,500 Hey, Ricky. Ricky! 742 00:42:24,900 --> 00:42:26,700 Come on, man, wake up. 743 00:42:27,000 --> 00:42:28,600 Are you faking it? 744 00:42:31,500 --> 00:42:35,400 Are you faking it? Fake it! 745 00:42:39,900 --> 00:42:43,400 I don't know how much longer I can take seeing you like this. 746 00:42:44,200 --> 00:42:48,000 I am not gonna let you die here... 747 00:42:48,300 --> 00:42:50,200 ...like some kind of vegetable. 748 00:42:50,500 --> 00:42:52,600 I'm gonna put an end to this right now. 749 00:42:52,900 --> 00:42:54,500 Get all this crap off you. 750 00:42:54,800 --> 00:42:56,800 You don't need any of this crap. 751 00:42:59,600 --> 00:43:02,200 This is it. This is how it ends. 752 00:43:02,500 --> 00:43:03,900 This is how Shake and Bake ends. 753 00:43:04,400 --> 00:43:06,800 It's shadow time, buddy. 754 00:43:09,400 --> 00:43:11,800 It's time to go home to Jesus. 755 00:43:12,700 --> 00:43:14,600 Goodbye, buddy. 756 00:43:19,000 --> 00:43:20,500 Oh, wow, you definitely... 757 00:43:20,600 --> 00:43:23,100 You definitely still got some fight in you. 758 00:43:26,000 --> 00:43:27,600 Okay, maybe we give this another day. 759 00:43:28,500 --> 00:43:31,400 Middle. I'll go up to the middle. Let's play some defense! 760 00:43:33,600 --> 00:43:36,400 I just wanna say thanks, doc, for taking care of our boy here. 761 00:43:36,700 --> 00:43:39,800 - Oh, shit. - That's a foul! That's a foul! 762 00:43:40,100 --> 00:43:41,500 Doc, give it to me straight. 763 00:43:41,600 --> 00:43:43,900 Is he ever gonna be able to walk again? 764 00:43:44,200 --> 00:43:47,000 Oh, I'm sorry, I thought someone had told you. He's fine. 765 00:43:47,200 --> 00:43:48,900 He found that wheelchair in the hallway. 766 00:43:49,100 --> 00:43:52,000 His paralysis is entirely psychosomatic. 767 00:43:52,200 --> 00:43:55,800 But we all need to go along with this, because he's in a delicate state. 768 00:43:56,000 --> 00:43:59,400 So when you say psychosomatic, you mean, like... 769 00:43:59,700 --> 00:44:02,200 ...he could start a fire with his thoughts? 770 00:44:02,400 --> 00:44:04,400 No, not at all. It means it's all in his mind. 771 00:44:04,500 --> 00:44:08,300 I'm saying, sometimes you get a knock on the head, you get special powers. 772 00:44:08,500 --> 00:44:10,800 It happens all the time. Read a comic book, okay? 773 00:44:11,000 --> 00:44:12,600 Everyone's real friendly. 774 00:44:12,600 --> 00:44:15,600 It doesn't hurt being Ricky Bobby. I'm not gonna lie to you. 775 00:44:15,800 --> 00:44:17,400 So how's the physical therapy going? 776 00:44:17,600 --> 00:44:20,500 Oh, I gave that up. Yeah, I gave that up... 777 00:44:20,700 --> 00:44:23,800 ...after maybe the first day. Within the first hour, I gave that up. 778 00:44:24,000 --> 00:44:26,100 I'm through lying to myself, you know? 779 00:44:26,300 --> 00:44:29,700 It's time to be mature about this and just face facts. 780 00:44:29,900 --> 00:44:32,400 I bought myself a hundred-thousand-dollar... 781 00:44:32,500 --> 00:44:33,900 ...handicap-accessible van... 782 00:44:34,100 --> 00:44:37,800 ...with the captain's chairs and the DVD plasma screens in the back for the kids. 783 00:44:38,000 --> 00:44:40,400 - You all paid up on that? - Yeah. That's all paid in full. 784 00:44:40,600 --> 00:44:43,600 It's parked out there. And then the next thing I gotta do... 785 00:44:43,800 --> 00:44:47,800 ...is I just gotta have a sit-down with Carley and just let her know... 786 00:44:49,300 --> 00:44:54,000 ...that it's okay for her to seek the comfort of other men. 787 00:44:54,400 --> 00:44:58,300 Because she's gotta run wild. You can't keep something like that back. 788 00:44:58,400 --> 00:44:59,800 Hold on, man. Hold... 789 00:45:00,500 --> 00:45:02,300 - We gotta tell him. - Now? 790 00:45:02,400 --> 00:45:05,300 No, I don't care what the doctor said, we gotta tell him now. 791 00:45:05,600 --> 00:45:07,000 Ricky, the doctor told us... 792 00:45:07,300 --> 00:45:10,000 ...that we should let you work it out in your own sweet time... 793 00:45:10,200 --> 00:45:11,400 ...but, Ricky, you can walk. 794 00:45:11,700 --> 00:45:13,500 What did you just say? 795 00:45:13,600 --> 00:45:16,700 He's telling you the truth, man. It's all in your head. 796 00:45:19,600 --> 00:45:22,400 You sick sons of bitches! 797 00:45:22,600 --> 00:45:24,400 I mean, you walk in that door... 798 00:45:24,600 --> 00:45:28,100 ...on your two legs, all fat and cocky... 799 00:45:28,400 --> 00:45:32,800 ...and looking at me in my chair, and you tell me it's all in my head? 800 00:45:33,000 --> 00:45:35,000 I hope that both of you have sons. 801 00:45:35,300 --> 00:45:40,200 Handsome, beautiful, articulate sons who are talented and star athletes... 802 00:45:40,500 --> 00:45:42,300 ...and they have their legs taken away! 803 00:45:42,500 --> 00:45:44,400 I pray you know that pain and that hurt. 804 00:45:44,500 --> 00:45:46,800 Don't you put that evil on me, Ricky Bobby! 805 00:45:47,100 --> 00:45:51,500 Don't you put that on us! You are not paralyzed! 806 00:45:51,600 --> 00:45:53,400 I am so paralyzed! 807 00:45:53,500 --> 00:45:57,000 - No, no, no! No, he needs to know! - Getting a little rough on him. 808 00:45:57,200 --> 00:45:59,500 - He's always crying! - Tough love, it is. Tough love. 809 00:45:59,800 --> 00:46:02,600 - Wake up, idiot! - You wanna know what I am?! 810 00:46:02,600 --> 00:46:05,100 You wanna see what my life is?! 811 00:46:05,400 --> 00:46:06,400 Don't do it. 812 00:46:06,700 --> 00:46:10,700 - You wanna see what's going on here? - Don't you stick that knife in your leg. 813 00:46:19,400 --> 00:46:22,000 - Man! - Hold on, hold on. 814 00:46:23,200 --> 00:46:25,600 - Hold on, now. Walk it off. - Oh, that hurts. 815 00:46:25,600 --> 00:46:27,000 - Oh, my...! - Walk it off. 816 00:46:27,200 --> 00:46:29,000 Stretch, stretch. Stretch it out. 817 00:46:29,200 --> 00:46:31,600 Hey, man. You can walk! You can walk! 818 00:46:31,800 --> 00:46:33,500 I can walk! 819 00:46:34,200 --> 00:46:36,600 - I think I touched a nerve. - Right there. 820 00:46:36,600 --> 00:46:39,500 All right, we got it, we got it. Hold it right there. 821 00:46:39,500 --> 00:46:40,900 Maybe don't touch it. 822 00:46:41,100 --> 00:46:43,000 - Can you feel it? - I can! 823 00:46:43,300 --> 00:46:45,500 We'll use this knife to pry it out. We'll pull it out. 824 00:46:45,800 --> 00:46:48,400 - Now we got two in there. - Just don't think about it. 825 00:46:48,500 --> 00:46:50,800 - We're going down a bad path. - Cut around the meat. 826 00:46:51,000 --> 00:46:52,700 I'll cut right here. Stretch it out. 827 00:46:52,900 --> 00:46:55,200 Just take out a plug of meat. Just like a deer. 828 00:46:55,500 --> 00:46:58,200 We gotta wiggle it a little bit. That's it. Can you feel that? 829 00:46:58,400 --> 00:47:00,200 - Yeah, I feel that. - You are back! 830 00:47:00,400 --> 00:47:01,900 I love you guys! 831 00:47:02,500 --> 00:47:06,300 Hey, I'm sorry, guys. I mean, I hope your boys don't lose their legs. 832 00:47:06,500 --> 00:47:09,600 - Thanks, buddy. - So when do I get to drive again? 833 00:47:09,900 --> 00:47:12,900 Well, that's the thing. The doctor said you suffered major trauma... 834 00:47:13,100 --> 00:47:15,500 ...and he thinks you should take it slow for a while. 835 00:47:15,600 --> 00:47:19,400 Yeah, so, I was thinking, like, while you're resting up and stuff... 836 00:47:19,500 --> 00:47:22,400 ...maybe you could let me win a few. - Well, there you go. 837 00:47:22,600 --> 00:47:24,400 Yeah, that ain't gonna happen. 838 00:47:25,000 --> 00:47:28,000 Yeah. I'm Ricky Bobby. I mean, you know how I play it. 839 00:47:28,200 --> 00:47:30,400 - Yeah. - First or last, right, baby? 840 00:47:30,400 --> 00:47:32,900 - Don't know what I was thinking. - Besides... 841 00:47:33,200 --> 00:47:36,000 ...Dennit Jr. Must be freaking out. All the money he's losing? 842 00:47:36,200 --> 00:47:37,700 Without me on the track? 843 00:47:37,900 --> 00:47:39,200 I mean, I just laugh... 844 00:47:39,400 --> 00:47:42,300 ...thinking about him whining all the time, bitching and moaning: 845 00:47:42,600 --> 00:47:44,400 "Damn, I wish Ricky was here." 846 00:47:44,600 --> 00:47:46,200 You know what I mean? 847 00:47:50,100 --> 00:47:52,100 What? 848 00:47:52,400 --> 00:47:54,700 Frenchy can drive. 849 00:47:58,400 --> 00:47:59,800 Oh, no. 850 00:48:27,800 --> 00:48:29,400 Very good. 851 00:48:29,700 --> 00:48:31,800 C'est la vie and que sera, sera. 852 00:48:32,100 --> 00:48:35,100 It looks like the NASCAR has gone French. 853 00:48:35,600 --> 00:48:37,000 Well, in other news, Ricky Bobby... 854 00:48:37,200 --> 00:48:40,300 ...is going to be running some test laps this weekend at Rockingham... 855 00:48:40,600 --> 00:48:42,700 ...in an attempt to come back from his grisly crash. 856 00:48:44,400 --> 00:48:46,400 It's one of the hardest things to do in racing. 857 00:48:46,500 --> 00:48:49,300 To try to bounce back after a devastating, violent wreck. 858 00:48:49,500 --> 00:48:51,800 Ricky Bobby was traumatized during the incident. 859 00:48:52,100 --> 00:48:53,400 All right, baby. Come on, now. 860 00:48:53,400 --> 00:48:56,800 But today he gets to strap back into a racecar for the first time since... 861 00:48:57,100 --> 00:48:59,200 ...to try to show he can still get the job done. 862 00:48:59,500 --> 00:49:02,600 - He's gonna be great. Yep. - He's gonna be great, sure. 863 00:49:02,800 --> 00:49:05,500 Would you stop staring at me like that, Susan? I swear... 864 00:49:05,800 --> 00:49:08,300 ...you are the weirdest little girl I've ever seen. 865 00:49:08,600 --> 00:49:11,200 Okay, I'm really gonna open it up! 866 00:49:14,400 --> 00:49:17,500 I missed you, Mama Speed. Ricky Bobby's back. 867 00:49:17,500 --> 00:49:19,400 Wait, how fast is he going? 868 00:49:19,400 --> 00:49:21,100 Twenty-six miles an hour. 869 00:49:23,500 --> 00:49:26,900 What were those things? Were those the other cars? 870 00:49:32,500 --> 00:49:34,900 Oh, God. So fast. 871 00:49:35,100 --> 00:49:36,800 Go, baby! There you are. 872 00:49:37,200 --> 00:49:38,800 Am I on fire? I'm on fire. 873 00:49:39,000 --> 00:49:41,000 - No, no, you're not on fire. - Stretch it out. 874 00:49:41,200 --> 00:49:42,700 - It's okay, baby. - Take it easy. 875 00:49:44,400 --> 00:49:47,000 - Oh, God, I'm gonna get sick. - Oh, God. 876 00:49:47,300 --> 00:49:51,000 - Oh, he's in his underwear again. - Ricky! Please put your clothes on. 877 00:49:51,300 --> 00:49:53,400 He's in his underwear again. Go get him, fellas. 878 00:49:53,600 --> 00:49:54,900 Oh, Lord. 879 00:49:55,200 --> 00:49:58,000 You know who's gonna be number one at Dennit Racing? 880 00:49:58,700 --> 00:50:01,600 - Not Ricky? - I'm gonna windmill you. 881 00:50:01,600 --> 00:50:04,500 Mr. Cal Naughton Jr. 882 00:50:04,700 --> 00:50:07,400 - Come back at him. It's the only way. - Who are you? 883 00:50:07,500 --> 00:50:09,200 - Number one. - No. 884 00:50:09,500 --> 00:50:12,800 - Oh, yes, ma'am. - Ricky! Come on, man! 885 00:50:13,100 --> 00:50:14,600 It's embarrassing. 886 00:50:14,600 --> 00:50:18,400 The ninjas are trying to get me. The ninjas are trying to get me. 887 00:50:18,600 --> 00:50:20,500 - Oh, my God. - What happened? 888 00:50:20,600 --> 00:50:23,000 What happened? He's done. He's done. 889 00:50:23,300 --> 00:50:25,700 That's what's happened. It's over. He's finished. 890 00:50:26,000 --> 00:50:27,500 What's gonna happen to me? 891 00:50:27,700 --> 00:50:30,700 I feel like I was riding inside an asteroid or a comet or something. 892 00:50:31,000 --> 00:50:33,000 Yeah, you were going fast. 893 00:50:33,200 --> 00:50:35,300 - Look at that. - What are we gonna do? 894 00:50:35,600 --> 00:50:38,000 This is ugly. This is bad for all of us. Look at that. 895 00:50:38,300 --> 00:50:41,200 - I gotta go check on cuckoo bird. - No, cuckoo's okay. 896 00:50:41,400 --> 00:50:44,100 Why don't you get over there and settle down Carley for me? 897 00:50:44,300 --> 00:50:46,400 - Could you do that for me? - Yes, sir. 898 00:50:46,400 --> 00:50:48,000 There you go. 899 00:50:49,400 --> 00:50:51,400 What began as a day of hope and optimism... 900 00:50:51,400 --> 00:50:54,800 ...for Ricky Bobby and his race team has ended here in sad disappointment. 901 00:50:55,000 --> 00:50:56,300 There we go, boy. 902 00:50:56,500 --> 00:50:58,400 - I lost all muscle control. - Yeah, you did. 903 00:50:58,400 --> 00:51:01,900 - He just lost his muscle control is all. - I lost my muscle control. 904 00:51:02,600 --> 00:51:05,600 He's fine. He just can't control the muscles. 905 00:51:15,000 --> 00:51:17,500 - Thanks for the lift, Hershell. - Yeah, no problem. 906 00:51:23,400 --> 00:51:24,600 Jenga! 907 00:51:26,600 --> 00:51:27,900 I love you, Cal. 908 00:51:29,400 --> 00:51:31,700 - Good one, kiddo. - What the hell's going on? 909 00:51:32,000 --> 00:51:34,100 Hey, Ricky, nice of you to stop by for a visit. 910 00:51:34,300 --> 00:51:37,100 What do you mean, a visit? This is my house. 911 00:51:37,400 --> 00:51:38,800 Baby... 912 00:51:39,000 --> 00:51:41,200 ...shoot. I'm so sorry. 913 00:51:41,400 --> 00:51:43,500 I really... I didn't want it to be this way. 914 00:51:43,800 --> 00:51:46,200 Hey, what happened to the family portrait? 915 00:51:46,900 --> 00:51:49,100 You just crudely pasted your face over mine. 916 00:51:49,400 --> 00:51:51,200 We're getting married, Ricky. 917 00:51:51,400 --> 00:51:53,800 And we're getting matching leprechaun tattoos. 918 00:51:54,000 --> 00:51:55,900 Isn't that cute? With a little pot of gold. 919 00:51:56,200 --> 00:51:58,400 Is this some kind of joke? You guys putting me on? 920 00:51:58,400 --> 00:52:02,400 I was gone three hours. Dennit just fired me from the team. 921 00:52:03,300 --> 00:52:04,600 Ricky, you and I... 922 00:52:04,800 --> 00:52:08,500 ...we both know that this marriage has been over for a long, long time. 923 00:52:08,600 --> 00:52:11,400 No! I honestly did not know that! 924 00:52:11,800 --> 00:52:16,300 Ricky, you can't race no more. 925 00:52:17,600 --> 00:52:21,400 I'm not going back to being poor and dancing at the Wizard's Den. 926 00:52:21,500 --> 00:52:23,400 You know, my old boyfriend Greg? 927 00:52:23,400 --> 00:52:25,600 He still works there and he was crazy. 928 00:52:25,800 --> 00:52:27,800 Baby, stop. 929 00:52:28,400 --> 00:52:32,400 Wait. Hold on. Hold on. Just a second. Let me make sure I got this straight. 930 00:52:33,400 --> 00:52:35,100 Are you asking me for a divorce? 931 00:52:35,300 --> 00:52:37,800 - Yay! Two Christmases! - Yay! Two Christmases! 932 00:52:38,000 --> 00:52:39,800 Cal? 933 00:52:40,100 --> 00:52:41,900 How could you do this to me, man? 934 00:52:42,100 --> 00:52:45,600 Ricky, your marriage was a hollow shell. 935 00:52:45,900 --> 00:52:47,500 It was a cruel charade. 936 00:52:47,700 --> 00:52:49,800 She just gave me the 411 on the whole deal. 937 00:52:50,000 --> 00:52:53,500 And you know what else? You never let me win one time. 938 00:52:53,600 --> 00:52:56,000 I thought we had a good thing going. Shake and Bake. 939 00:52:56,200 --> 00:52:58,900 You're doing great. You just keep it up. Keep it up. 940 00:52:59,100 --> 00:53:02,100 And Mr. Dennit told me that it's my time now. 941 00:53:02,300 --> 00:53:04,400 - Oh, really? - That Shake and Bake is dead. 942 00:53:04,400 --> 00:53:07,000 And we just came up with a new nickname. 943 00:53:07,300 --> 00:53:09,600 - It's so good. It's so good. - I got a new nickname. 944 00:53:09,900 --> 00:53:12,700 The Magic Man. Now you see me... 945 00:53:13,600 --> 00:53:15,100 ...now you don't. 946 00:53:15,400 --> 00:53:17,600 That is the stupidest nickname I've ever heard. 947 00:53:17,600 --> 00:53:19,400 Is it, Ricky? 948 00:53:19,400 --> 00:53:21,800 Because I think you wish you thought of it. 949 00:53:24,000 --> 00:53:26,500 All right. You got me. That's an awesome nickname. 950 00:53:26,600 --> 00:53:28,700 I've always had a lot of great ideas. 951 00:53:29,000 --> 00:53:32,900 I also think I might design a car that's in the shape of a rabbit. 952 00:53:33,200 --> 00:53:36,700 It might poop out little real rabbits out the back that'll run around the track. 953 00:53:37,000 --> 00:53:39,300 You have live rabbits being pooped out onto a track? 954 00:53:39,500 --> 00:53:42,200 If I win, I might do a special thing with David Copperfield... 955 00:53:42,400 --> 00:53:44,600 ...where he hides in my car in the passenger seat... 956 00:53:44,800 --> 00:53:47,100 ...and he just flings magic stuff out the window. 957 00:53:47,600 --> 00:53:49,200 Did you run any of this by NASCAR? 958 00:53:49,400 --> 00:53:53,000 Watch the mail for that invitation to the wedding, because I want you there. 959 00:53:53,200 --> 00:53:54,500 - What?! - I know it... 960 00:53:54,600 --> 00:53:57,500 ...that some bad stuff happened just now, but in time... 961 00:53:57,600 --> 00:53:59,500 The wedding's not for a couple of weeks. 962 00:53:59,600 --> 00:54:01,400 Why would I come to your guys' wedding? 963 00:54:01,600 --> 00:54:03,600 - You're gonna get over it and be my best man. 964 00:54:03,800 --> 00:54:05,300 I'm not gonna be your best man! 965 00:54:05,600 --> 00:54:07,500 Baby, he's not gonna come to the wedding. 966 00:54:07,500 --> 00:54:11,500 Cal, do you realize the implications of your actions right now? 967 00:54:11,800 --> 00:54:13,200 What's "implication" mean? 968 00:54:13,400 --> 00:54:14,700 We are no longer friends. 969 00:54:15,000 --> 00:54:17,600 - Why? - What do you mean, "Why?" 970 00:54:18,600 --> 00:54:19,900 You're wrecking my life! 971 00:54:20,200 --> 00:54:22,800 You just lost your wife. You just lost your job. 972 00:54:23,000 --> 00:54:25,600 Don't throw out your best friend because of your anger. 973 00:54:26,300 --> 00:54:29,400 - That's absolutely ridiculous, man. - Ricky... 974 00:54:29,500 --> 00:54:34,400 ...remember, the field mouse is fast, but the owl sees at night. 975 00:54:38,300 --> 00:54:40,000 That's kind of creepy, ain't it? 976 00:54:43,600 --> 00:54:46,600 - Hey, Ricky, I'll call you tomorrow. - Shut up. 977 00:54:46,600 --> 00:54:49,400 - Bye, kids. I'll see you next weekend. - Bye. 978 00:54:54,000 --> 00:54:57,700 Ricky! Boys! Is everything all right? 979 00:54:58,000 --> 00:55:01,600 Mama, we got nowhere to go. Carley and Cal took everything. 980 00:55:01,800 --> 00:55:03,800 Well, you're home now, and you got your mama. 981 00:55:04,000 --> 00:55:05,200 Get in here, boys. Come on. 982 00:55:05,500 --> 00:55:08,100 Come on. Get in this house. 983 00:55:15,000 --> 00:55:17,200 Hey, Ricky. Are you on fire? 984 00:55:18,000 --> 00:55:21,300 - Nice denim shorts, dude. - Hey, shut up, man. 985 00:55:33,800 --> 00:55:35,300 Hump me! 986 00:55:39,300 --> 00:55:41,200 Now, you watch yourself. 987 00:55:41,400 --> 00:55:44,600 Yes, sir. I'm sorry. I promise it won't happen again. 988 00:55:51,500 --> 00:55:53,000 Hey, sorry, man. 989 00:56:02,000 --> 00:56:03,400 Hey. 990 00:56:03,700 --> 00:56:05,600 I lost my license. 991 00:56:05,600 --> 00:56:07,900 That's why I'm on the bus. I'm delivering pizzas. 992 00:56:08,200 --> 00:56:10,400 Motherfucker, what makes you think I care? 993 00:56:10,700 --> 00:56:13,500 Shut the fuck up! 994 00:56:14,400 --> 00:56:16,200 I was just telling you that because... 995 00:56:16,500 --> 00:56:19,600 Like I said, I lost my license. I've been having a lot of problems lately. 996 00:56:19,900 --> 00:56:22,400 Problems? I don't wanna hear about your damn problems. 997 00:56:22,600 --> 00:56:24,200 Everybody got problems. 998 00:56:24,500 --> 00:56:26,600 My mama got problems. She just lost her leg. 999 00:56:26,600 --> 00:56:30,400 My cousin Pookie just lost a testicle. My dog threw up somebody's finger. 1000 00:56:30,700 --> 00:56:32,200 That's a problem. 1001 00:56:32,400 --> 00:56:35,300 I really regret opening my mouth and talking to you. 1002 00:56:37,500 --> 00:56:40,200 - Sorry. Sorry. - Get out of the road! 1003 00:56:40,500 --> 00:56:43,400 Hey, come on, man. I'm on a bike. Relax. 1004 00:56:43,500 --> 00:56:45,800 - Hey, shut up! - Idiot! 1005 00:56:49,800 --> 00:56:51,400 It's open. 1006 00:56:53,600 --> 00:56:55,400 Hugalo's Pizza. We are pizza. 1007 00:56:57,500 --> 00:57:00,500 - You are pizza? - Yeah, we are pizza. I gotta say it. 1008 00:57:02,800 --> 00:57:06,100 Either close the door or come in. I got weed in here, cowboy. 1009 00:57:12,100 --> 00:57:15,200 You got three pizzas that haven't been eaten just sitting over there. 1010 00:57:15,400 --> 00:57:18,100 I know. I've been calling them all day trying to get you... 1011 00:57:18,400 --> 00:57:20,600 ...but they keep sending me different delivery people. 1012 00:57:20,900 --> 00:57:22,600 Trying to get me? Why? 1013 00:57:22,800 --> 00:57:24,400 Because I'm your daddy, that's why. 1014 00:57:26,200 --> 00:57:29,300 - What did you just say? - I said, I'm your daddy. 1015 00:57:29,500 --> 00:57:31,000 I'm Reese Bobby. 1016 00:57:31,200 --> 00:57:36,000 Me and your mama did it in a Rustler Steak House bathroom when I was 17. 1017 00:57:36,200 --> 00:57:38,000 And then you showed up. 1018 00:57:44,700 --> 00:57:46,600 Hey, son. 1019 00:57:46,800 --> 00:57:50,200 - Son! Son, did this go good? - No! 1020 00:57:50,400 --> 00:57:53,400 - Seems to me like it went pretty good. - You're not my dad. 1021 00:57:53,400 --> 00:57:55,800 - It got a little heated, but... - Stop talking to me! 1022 00:57:56,000 --> 00:57:59,100 Hey, is that a Huffy? That's a nice-looking bike, boy. 1023 00:57:59,400 --> 00:58:01,100 I can't believe it! 1024 00:58:01,400 --> 00:58:04,500 I mean, he's been blowing me off for 25 years... 1025 00:58:04,600 --> 00:58:07,200 ...and now he wants to get to know me? 1026 00:58:07,500 --> 00:58:09,300 How the hell did he even find me? 1027 00:58:09,500 --> 00:58:10,700 I called him. 1028 00:58:10,900 --> 00:58:13,800 Are you kidding me? Mama, why did you go do that? 1029 00:58:14,000 --> 00:58:15,700 Son, you need help. 1030 00:58:15,900 --> 00:58:18,500 - I know he's a son of a bitch. - He's scary. 1031 00:58:18,600 --> 00:58:22,500 But you're a grown man. You're delivering pizzas on a bike. 1032 00:58:22,800 --> 00:58:25,400 How'd you even get hooked up with him in the first place? 1033 00:58:25,700 --> 00:58:28,400 You probably couldn't tell by looking at him now... 1034 00:58:28,800 --> 00:58:31,200 ...but your daddy used to be a real charmer. 1035 00:58:31,500 --> 00:58:36,300 And that night in the ladies' room of the Rustler Steak House, he chose me. 1036 00:58:36,600 --> 00:58:41,100 - In a ladies' room? - Shut up in here! I'm trying to sleep! 1037 00:58:41,300 --> 00:58:44,200 One of you turds is about to get smacked in the mouth! 1038 00:58:44,400 --> 00:58:47,700 Hey, stop yelling at me, okay? I'm your dad. You're 7 years old. 1039 00:58:48,000 --> 00:58:49,600 Don't talk like that. 1040 00:58:52,000 --> 00:58:53,400 Hey. Hey there, Lucy. 1041 00:58:53,700 --> 00:58:55,500 How you doing? 1042 00:58:56,800 --> 00:58:59,400 Oh, hey there, Ricky. Look, son... 1043 00:59:00,200 --> 00:59:02,600 ...I know you don't want me to be here... 1044 00:59:02,800 --> 00:59:06,800 ...but I saw what happened to you on the television. You saw the fear. 1045 00:59:07,000 --> 00:59:09,000 - I can help you with that, son. - Really? 1046 00:59:09,200 --> 00:59:12,400 What do you care about me or us? You never even met your grandkids. 1047 00:59:12,600 --> 00:59:15,800 - What are you looking at, Popeye? - Shut up, you little pot-licker. 1048 00:59:16,000 --> 00:59:17,400 I'll put you in a microwave. 1049 00:59:17,500 --> 00:59:19,200 Now, you show me the DNA test... 1050 00:59:19,400 --> 00:59:22,400 ...and then maybe I'll say hello to these swamp rats. 1051 00:59:22,400 --> 00:59:27,300 You people shut the hell up! I got a wife in an oxygen tent trying to sleep. 1052 00:59:27,500 --> 00:59:30,500 You better shut up or I'll come over there and rip a hole in that tent. 1053 00:59:30,800 --> 00:59:32,000 Yeah, shut up, Frank! 1054 00:59:32,200 --> 00:59:34,600 Go shave your balls, you dusty old fart! 1055 00:59:34,800 --> 00:59:37,300 Okay, I guess they are my grandkids. 1056 00:59:39,500 --> 00:59:42,400 I know you, son. I know you well. 1057 00:59:42,700 --> 00:59:45,900 You're just like me. Talladega's coming up in a couple of weeks... 1058 00:59:46,100 --> 00:59:48,800 ...and I know you wanna win that thing. - No, I don't. 1059 00:59:49,400 --> 00:59:51,100 Listen, Ricky. 1060 00:59:51,300 --> 00:59:55,200 I'm 55 years old and all I got to my name is a car... 1061 00:59:55,500 --> 00:59:59,300 ...and a duffle bag full of underwear, and sweet, stinky weed. 1062 00:59:59,500 --> 01:00:01,500 How much you selling that weed for, old man? 1063 01:00:01,700 --> 01:00:04,100 I know I screwed up raising you as a boy... 1064 01:00:04,400 --> 01:00:06,400 ...but just let me help you as a man. 1065 01:00:07,600 --> 01:00:11,100 - Do it, Dad. Get your balls back. - Go fast again. 1066 01:00:12,500 --> 01:00:14,400 Fine. I'll do it. 1067 01:00:15,600 --> 01:00:18,800 - But I ain't calling you Daddy. - Well, what you gonna call me? 1068 01:00:19,000 --> 01:00:21,700 All right, Professor Dickweed. What's the plan? 1069 01:00:21,900 --> 01:00:25,000 Well, basically, what happened to you is that you saw the fear. 1070 01:00:25,400 --> 01:00:28,500 So before you can even think about any real driving... 1071 01:00:28,500 --> 01:00:32,500 ...you gotta make friends with that fear. So get in the car. 1072 01:00:39,400 --> 01:00:42,000 What the hell?! There's a goddamn cougar in the car! 1073 01:00:42,300 --> 01:00:44,300 I know there's a cougar, I put it in there. 1074 01:00:44,600 --> 01:00:47,500 You gotta learn to drive with the fear. 1075 01:00:47,500 --> 01:00:51,400 Ain't nothing more damn frightening than driving with a cougar in the car. 1076 01:00:51,400 --> 01:00:53,500 - God, where'd you get that thing? - I trapped it. 1077 01:00:53,800 --> 01:00:56,600 Been keeping it in my bathroom at the motel, feeding it old pizza. 1078 01:00:56,900 --> 01:01:00,100 - Now get back in that car, you hear me? - No, I'm not getting in that car. 1079 01:01:00,400 --> 01:01:05,100 Hey, listen to me. If you're calm, that wondrous big cat will be calm too. 1080 01:01:05,300 --> 01:01:06,700 But if you're scared... 1081 01:01:07,000 --> 01:01:10,500 ...that beautiful death machine will do what God made it to do... 1082 01:01:10,600 --> 01:01:13,400 ...namely, eat you with a smile on its face. 1083 01:01:13,600 --> 01:01:15,600 God, he's just following me wherever I go. 1084 01:01:15,900 --> 01:01:17,300 Well, he's just looking at you. 1085 01:01:17,600 --> 01:01:20,100 You're saying if I just calm down, the cougar will be okay? 1086 01:01:20,400 --> 01:01:23,600 - You got it. - Damn it. Okay. 1087 01:01:23,600 --> 01:01:25,600 Come on, son. You can do it. Come on. 1088 01:01:25,900 --> 01:01:27,400 Oh, come on. 1089 01:01:28,400 --> 01:01:29,600 That's it. 1090 01:01:30,500 --> 01:01:34,400 - And no sudden moves. - Like, is this too fast? Oh, man. See? 1091 01:01:34,400 --> 01:01:36,600 - That's a little quick. - You see what he did? 1092 01:01:36,600 --> 01:01:39,100 You gotta be a little more deliberate in your movement. 1093 01:01:39,300 --> 01:01:41,900 I'm just gonna get in there. I'm just gonna grab the handle. 1094 01:01:42,200 --> 01:01:44,600 I'm gonna get in and drive that car. I'm gonna do it calm. 1095 01:01:44,900 --> 01:01:48,400 - Calm. Piece of cake. - I was just trying to stay calm. 1096 01:01:50,600 --> 01:01:53,000 - Oh, man! - Sometime today, son. 1097 01:01:53,200 --> 01:01:55,600 Okay, here we go. I'm getting in. 1098 01:01:55,600 --> 01:01:57,400 Oh, God, help me! 1099 01:01:58,500 --> 01:02:00,900 - Ricky! Control your heart rate. - Oh, my God! 1100 01:02:03,100 --> 01:02:04,500 Hey, Mama. 1101 01:02:06,600 --> 01:02:09,000 Well, hey there, Ricky. How'd it go? 1102 01:02:09,200 --> 01:02:11,600 Well, I was mauled by a cougar... 1103 01:02:11,800 --> 01:02:15,000 ...learned nothing about driving, and my Crystal Gayle shirt was ruined. 1104 01:02:15,300 --> 01:02:17,000 But other than that, it went fine. 1105 01:02:17,300 --> 01:02:18,400 Where are the boys at? 1106 01:02:18,700 --> 01:02:22,100 I dropped them off at Sunday school at my church about 10 minutes ago. 1107 01:02:22,300 --> 01:02:23,400 Anarchy! 1108 01:02:23,700 --> 01:02:26,800 - Anarchy! Anarchy! - Anarchy! 1109 01:02:27,100 --> 01:02:30,500 - There they are. - What in tarnation? 1110 01:02:30,600 --> 01:02:33,800 - Anarchy! - I don't even know what that means... 1111 01:02:34,000 --> 01:02:36,200 ...but I love it! 1112 01:02:38,000 --> 01:02:40,200 - What in the hell? - That is it! 1113 01:02:40,400 --> 01:02:43,100 That puts the lid right on the jar! 1114 01:02:43,800 --> 01:02:45,200 - Mama! Mama! - No, Ricky, no. 1115 01:02:45,500 --> 01:02:48,800 I will not have my grandbabies acting like shiftless, wild hobos. 1116 01:02:49,100 --> 01:02:52,000 All right, now, you boys listen up, and you listen good. 1117 01:02:52,200 --> 01:02:55,600 Now, I am declaring Granny Law. 1118 01:02:55,600 --> 01:02:59,600 And if you do not obey Granny Law... 1119 01:02:59,600 --> 01:03:02,200 ...I will paint your back porch red. 1120 01:03:02,500 --> 01:03:04,600 Sorry, Granny, but you're shit out of luck. 1121 01:03:04,800 --> 01:03:07,200 We make the rules, not you. 1122 01:03:08,500 --> 01:03:10,400 Hey! 1123 01:03:11,600 --> 01:03:14,300 You're gonna break us like wild horses, ain't you? 1124 01:03:14,800 --> 01:03:17,600 It's the beginning of a new age. 1125 01:03:19,600 --> 01:03:21,600 Hey, Derek, it's Ricky. 1126 01:03:21,600 --> 01:03:24,100 Just wondering if you can ditch school... 1127 01:03:24,400 --> 01:03:27,100 ...and take over my shift at the pizza place... 1128 01:03:27,400 --> 01:03:29,500 ...because I got strep throat. 1129 01:03:29,600 --> 01:03:32,200 And it's bad. I don't wanna give it to everyone else. 1130 01:03:32,500 --> 01:03:34,600 So call me back. You know the number. 1131 01:03:36,000 --> 01:03:37,000 Hello. 1132 01:03:37,400 --> 01:03:40,300 Hey, man. How's it going? You wanna come over and party? 1133 01:03:40,600 --> 01:03:41,900 Did you just say "party"? 1134 01:03:42,200 --> 01:03:44,600 You know what? No. Because I still hate you, okay? 1135 01:03:44,900 --> 01:03:47,900 - What are you so mad about? - What do you think I'm mad about? 1136 01:03:48,100 --> 01:03:50,400 Come on, man, that was last week. 1137 01:03:50,700 --> 01:03:53,200 What about the time you ran over my leg with a car? 1138 01:03:53,500 --> 01:03:57,100 - I let that go that day. - Yeah, I remember. 1139 01:03:57,600 --> 01:03:59,100 Wind is kicking up. 1140 01:04:00,000 --> 01:04:01,600 Are you in the hot tub? 1141 01:04:01,800 --> 01:04:04,800 Answer me this: When you're in spa mode... 1142 01:04:05,500 --> 01:04:08,200 ...how come the water level drops in the spa? 1143 01:04:08,400 --> 01:04:11,900 Are you pressing the buttons in the back panel or in the kitchen? 1144 01:04:12,200 --> 01:04:15,400 - I just started pressing stuff. - Hey, don't press all those buttons. 1145 01:04:16,400 --> 01:04:19,100 I'm getting bored. You wanna come over and play G.I. Joes? 1146 01:04:19,300 --> 01:04:20,900 I would love to. No! 1147 01:04:21,400 --> 01:04:24,100 Come on. You know what? Screw you, man. 1148 01:04:24,300 --> 01:04:27,000 Ricky, man, you gotta cross over the anger bridge. 1149 01:04:27,200 --> 01:04:29,100 Come back to the friendship shore. 1150 01:04:29,400 --> 01:04:32,900 - "Cross over the anger bridge"? - Yeah, that's where you're at. 1151 01:04:33,200 --> 01:04:34,800 You're stuck on an anger bridge. 1152 01:04:35,100 --> 01:04:37,800 Can you not see why I'm stuck on the anger bridge? 1153 01:04:38,300 --> 01:04:41,500 Look, I don't know why I'm talking to you, okay? What is it? 1154 01:04:41,600 --> 01:04:45,100 They got bottomless nachos at Bennigan's. 1155 01:04:45,700 --> 01:04:48,000 God, a whole mess of nachos sounds good right now. 1156 01:04:48,300 --> 01:04:50,600 I don't have a car no more. Can you come get me? 1157 01:04:50,800 --> 01:04:54,500 I'll get you. Which one of your cars do you miss the most? I'll bring that one. 1158 01:04:54,800 --> 01:04:56,800 - I miss the Hummer. - I'm coming in the Hummer. 1159 01:04:57,000 --> 01:04:58,500 - Are you ready? - Yeah. No, wait. 1160 01:04:58,800 --> 01:05:01,200 Okay. Our friendship is done. All right? 1161 01:05:01,400 --> 01:05:03,400 - You hear? - You wanna hang out in your house. 1162 01:05:03,500 --> 01:05:05,600 - Come on. - Screw you, dude. I'm hanging up. 1163 01:05:05,900 --> 01:05:07,700 Okay, that's it. Bye. 1164 01:05:08,400 --> 01:05:12,200 Oh, man, this is absolutely crazy. I mean, this is borderline reckless. 1165 01:05:12,400 --> 01:05:16,000 Don't you get it? You don't drive with your eyes, you drive with your heart. 1166 01:05:16,300 --> 01:05:18,100 This is just dumb. I can't see a thing. 1167 01:05:18,400 --> 01:05:22,200 You gotta feel the road. You gotta let it live inside you. 1168 01:05:22,500 --> 01:05:25,000 - Are you feeling anything now? - I'm feeling a little bit. 1169 01:05:25,200 --> 01:05:27,200 What do you feel? Tell me what you're feeling. 1170 01:05:27,400 --> 01:05:30,400 I'm feeling the worn wood of the steering wheel. 1171 01:05:30,400 --> 01:05:32,500 - Yeah. What else? - A little bit of heat. 1172 01:05:32,600 --> 01:05:35,000 That's you and the car melded together. 1173 01:05:35,200 --> 01:05:38,600 Yeah, now I'm really feeling it. I feel like the car could drive itself. 1174 01:05:38,900 --> 01:05:40,700 I bet it could. Start her up. 1175 01:05:41,000 --> 01:05:42,900 I'm gonna start this car up. 1176 01:05:43,200 --> 01:05:45,400 Attaboy. All right, son. 1177 01:05:45,400 --> 01:05:47,400 Drive. 1178 01:06:04,900 --> 01:06:07,300 I'm embarrassed. I really thought I could feel it. 1179 01:06:07,500 --> 01:06:10,600 You know what? We better hightail it out of here. Frank's gonna be pissed. 1180 01:06:10,900 --> 01:06:12,500 All right. 1181 01:06:12,600 --> 01:06:15,100 No, no, Ricky. No blindfold. 1182 01:06:17,100 --> 01:06:19,500 Get this highway clean, come on. 1183 01:06:19,800 --> 01:06:22,500 I gotta tell you, Granny, this blows. 1184 01:06:22,600 --> 01:06:25,100 - How much more of this? - I don't know. 1185 01:06:25,300 --> 01:06:29,000 How many more times are you gonna toss me the radio in the bathtub? 1186 01:06:38,700 --> 01:06:40,800 - Hello? - Hey, man. You up? 1187 01:06:41,100 --> 01:06:43,400 - No. - Wake up. I need to talk to you. 1188 01:06:43,700 --> 01:06:45,300 I think your house is haunted. 1189 01:06:45,400 --> 01:06:47,600 Hey, come on. It's 2:30 in the morning. 1190 01:06:47,600 --> 01:06:51,300 I can't sleep in here, man. I'm scared. 1191 01:06:51,400 --> 01:06:54,100 Look, there's nothing to be scared of. It's a new house... 1192 01:06:54,400 --> 01:06:56,600 ...there's a lot of creaks and moans and groans in it. 1193 01:06:56,800 --> 01:07:00,700 - Put on... You got your TV on? - Well, yeah, I fell asleep with it on. 1194 01:07:01,300 --> 01:07:04,700 - Turn on channel 42. - Forty-two? 1195 01:07:04,900 --> 01:07:08,200 - Look at them buns. - Well, that is a set of buns. 1196 01:07:08,600 --> 01:07:10,200 And down, and down, and... 1197 01:07:10,400 --> 01:07:12,800 What's she doing exercising at 2:30 in the morning? 1198 01:07:13,000 --> 01:07:14,900 Oh, yeah, that's a really good point. 1199 01:07:15,100 --> 01:07:18,500 I don't know why I'm talking to you. Do you remember that I hate you? 1200 01:07:18,600 --> 01:07:21,200 Hey, man, you know what I was thinking? 1201 01:07:21,600 --> 01:07:24,000 - You're lucky. - I'm lucky? 1202 01:07:24,200 --> 01:07:26,100 - How so? - Well, check it out. 1203 01:07:26,400 --> 01:07:30,900 I'm sitting here in this enormous haunted mansion, can't sleep. 1204 01:07:31,200 --> 01:07:33,400 You're hanging out at your mom's. That's awesome. 1205 01:07:33,400 --> 01:07:37,400 - That's, like, the opposite of awesome. - Well, this is like a hotel room... 1206 01:07:37,600 --> 01:07:39,300 ...with someone else's junk in it. 1207 01:07:39,500 --> 01:07:43,800 Okay, yeah, well, that someone else's junk, that used to be my stuff. 1208 01:07:44,000 --> 01:07:47,600 I'm just having a hard time, man. I'm just calling up for some support. 1209 01:07:47,600 --> 01:07:50,700 Do you...? Do you know how crazy that sounds? 1210 01:07:51,000 --> 01:07:52,600 - Hey, one more thing. - Yeah? 1211 01:07:52,900 --> 01:07:57,200 When you have the stereo on at the same time as the TV... 1212 01:07:57,500 --> 01:07:59,400 ...how do you control the volume on the TV? 1213 01:07:59,700 --> 01:08:02,300 Why do you want to listen to the TV with the stereo on? 1214 01:08:02,500 --> 01:08:04,300 Because I like to party. 1215 01:08:04,600 --> 01:08:06,400 Why am I still talking to you? 1216 01:08:06,400 --> 01:08:08,400 Come on. We were doing good there, man. 1217 01:08:08,500 --> 01:08:10,700 I'm taking care of your house good. 1218 01:08:11,000 --> 01:08:14,200 I keep snapping back into it. It's like a trick you're pulling on me. 1219 01:08:14,500 --> 01:08:18,500 - All right. I'll talk to you tomorrow. - All right, man. Talk to you tomorrow. 1220 01:08:21,500 --> 01:08:23,500 Shit. 1221 01:08:23,800 --> 01:08:26,400 Get out. 1222 01:08:33,600 --> 01:08:35,400 Where did stock-car racing come from? 1223 01:08:35,400 --> 01:08:36,600 What? 1224 01:08:37,600 --> 01:08:40,900 - Hey, stop doing that. - How did stock-car racing get its start? 1225 01:08:41,200 --> 01:08:44,800 Bootleggers in Prohibition had to have cars fast enough to outrun the Feds... 1226 01:08:45,000 --> 01:08:47,700 ...then they started racing each other. - That's right. 1227 01:08:48,000 --> 01:08:51,100 If I was right, why'd you throw another bucket on me? 1228 01:08:51,400 --> 01:08:55,100 I filled up three. Now, there's nothing like driving to avoid jail. 1229 01:08:55,400 --> 01:08:58,900 Nothing hones your mind and your instincts like necessity. 1230 01:08:59,200 --> 01:09:02,400 So I taped a kilo of cocaine underneath the car and called the boys in blue. 1231 01:09:02,600 --> 01:09:05,400 Now, the way I figure it, you got about two minutes... 1232 01:09:05,600 --> 01:09:09,100 ...before they show up and you do five to 10. 1233 01:09:09,300 --> 01:09:13,100 So, what's it gonna be? Fear or prison? 1234 01:09:13,400 --> 01:09:16,600 - What the hell are you talking about? - Real simple, son. 1235 01:09:16,600 --> 01:09:17,900 Cops are coming. 1236 01:09:18,100 --> 01:09:23,200 There's a kilo of Colombian bam-bam under the car. Time to be a man. 1237 01:09:23,500 --> 01:09:27,400 - You got hair on your peaches or what? - You're not kidding, are you? Man. 1238 01:09:28,800 --> 01:09:30,800 You crazy creep! 1239 01:09:38,200 --> 01:09:40,100 Come on, son. What's it gonna be? 1240 01:09:40,400 --> 01:09:42,000 Speed or jail? 1241 01:09:51,600 --> 01:09:54,100 Grandpa, would you like to take us fishing... 1242 01:09:54,400 --> 01:09:57,600 ...and tell us life lessons and stories about your childhood? 1243 01:09:57,900 --> 01:09:59,200 I got a better idea. 1244 01:09:59,400 --> 01:10:02,200 Why don't you boys go dig a hole and I'll get another beer? 1245 01:10:02,500 --> 01:10:06,500 Someone didn't love you enough when you were little, did they? 1246 01:10:06,600 --> 01:10:09,500 Good call. Here, that's worth a nickel. 1247 01:10:09,600 --> 01:10:10,800 Tragic. 1248 01:10:17,500 --> 01:10:19,800 Son of a bitch, son of a bitch, son of a bitch. 1249 01:10:21,200 --> 01:10:23,200 Oh, man. Oh, man! 1250 01:10:26,000 --> 01:10:28,400 One-sixteen. One-sixteen! 1251 01:10:28,700 --> 01:10:31,100 I'm going fast again! 1252 01:10:50,900 --> 01:10:52,500 Pull over! Pull over! 1253 01:10:52,700 --> 01:10:56,500 Pull over? I'll pull over for you. How about this? 1254 01:11:31,600 --> 01:11:33,600 Where are you? 1255 01:11:37,200 --> 01:11:39,000 Gotcha. 1256 01:11:49,400 --> 01:11:51,300 "Feels good going fast, doesn't it? 1257 01:11:51,500 --> 01:11:56,400 By the way, don't try and snort these Lucky Charms. Reese." 1258 01:11:58,400 --> 01:12:00,000 Okay. 1259 01:12:01,100 --> 01:12:02,500 Okay. 1260 01:12:15,200 --> 01:12:16,500 There you go, little man. 1261 01:12:27,400 --> 01:12:28,800 Hey, Ricky! 1262 01:12:29,000 --> 01:12:30,400 How you doing? 1263 01:12:34,400 --> 01:12:38,400 - Oh, Nana, not my prison shank. - In the can. 1264 01:12:47,400 --> 01:12:50,200 There's your mother-flipping driving test. 1265 01:12:50,500 --> 01:12:53,300 Mr. Bobby, you are magnificent. 1266 01:12:55,200 --> 01:12:59,200 Down, Karen! Get down! Get down, Karen! 1267 01:12:59,400 --> 01:13:01,100 It's all right. It's gonna be okay. 1268 01:13:09,900 --> 01:13:13,400 Well, son, you are looking good behind that wheel. 1269 01:13:13,600 --> 01:13:17,400 Thanks, Daddy. I gotta tell you, I feel good. Heck, you know what? 1270 01:13:17,700 --> 01:13:20,400 Let's go out tonight, you know, the whole family. 1271 01:13:20,900 --> 01:13:23,800 I'm talking about sitting down, enjoying a gourmet meal... 1272 01:13:24,100 --> 01:13:26,400 ...at a place that's real special. 1273 01:13:26,500 --> 01:13:29,800 - Hi. Those plates are hot. Enjoy. - You got your own skillet. 1274 01:13:30,100 --> 01:13:32,500 - Be back to check on you in a minute. - Thank you. 1275 01:13:32,600 --> 01:13:34,900 Oh, gooder than grits. 1276 01:13:35,100 --> 01:13:36,500 Let us pray. 1277 01:13:38,400 --> 01:13:40,200 Dear Lord baby Jesus... 1278 01:13:40,400 --> 01:13:43,400 ...lying there in your little ghost manger... 1279 01:13:43,400 --> 01:13:46,900 ...just looking at your Baby Einstein developmental videos... 1280 01:13:47,200 --> 01:13:49,200 ...learning about shapes and colors and... 1281 01:13:49,500 --> 01:13:51,800 We just have so much to be thankful for. 1282 01:13:52,000 --> 01:13:54,400 First off, my sons no longer act... 1283 01:13:54,400 --> 01:13:56,700 ...like retarded gangbangers. - Amen. 1284 01:13:57,000 --> 01:13:59,500 Also, I got my balls back behind the wheel of a car. 1285 01:13:59,500 --> 01:14:01,700 And most importantly, we thank you... 1286 01:14:02,000 --> 01:14:05,900 ...for bringing back our nasty, delinquent, pot-dealing daddy to us. 1287 01:14:06,100 --> 01:14:09,100 For he was lost, but now he is found. Amen. 1288 01:14:09,400 --> 01:14:11,500 - Amen. - Amen. 1289 01:14:11,800 --> 01:14:13,200 Son, that was lovely. 1290 01:14:13,500 --> 01:14:15,200 - What a lovely meal. - It sure is. 1291 01:14:15,500 --> 01:14:17,500 It certainly does look delicious. 1292 01:14:17,800 --> 01:14:20,800 I gotta tell you, this is about a damn perfect evening right now. 1293 01:14:21,100 --> 01:14:23,600 It is, isn't it? 1294 01:14:23,900 --> 01:14:25,800 You know what we should do? 1295 01:14:26,000 --> 01:14:29,000 Every week, we should come back to this Applebee's... 1296 01:14:29,300 --> 01:14:32,500 ...and sit at this table, and have a family meal. 1297 01:14:32,600 --> 01:14:35,000 - That's a great idea, Mama. - And order the same stuff. 1298 01:14:35,300 --> 01:14:38,200 - That would be great. - And I would be delighted, Reese... 1299 01:14:38,400 --> 01:14:42,400 ...if you would accompany me to ballroom dancing on Tuesday nights. 1300 01:14:42,800 --> 01:14:44,500 - Tuesday night? - It's a lot of fun. 1301 01:14:44,500 --> 01:14:47,300 - I think you'd have a good time. - How's everybody doing here? 1302 01:14:47,600 --> 01:14:50,500 - Dolly, it's so good. - Oh, it's really, really good. 1303 01:14:50,600 --> 01:14:55,100 You know, I just... I hate to be a pain, darling... 1304 01:14:57,900 --> 01:15:00,600 ...but I asked for no onions on my Bourbon Steak. 1305 01:15:01,000 --> 01:15:03,100 I am so sorry. I thought you asked for onions... 1306 01:15:03,400 --> 01:15:05,200 Okay, okay, maybe don't interrupt me. 1307 01:15:05,400 --> 01:15:08,500 - I'm sorry, I didn't mean to. - Yeah, well, I think you did mean to... 1308 01:15:08,600 --> 01:15:12,600 ...and I also think that you meant to put the damn onions on my steak. 1309 01:15:13,100 --> 01:15:14,800 - Okay, Reese. - Grandfather... 1310 01:15:15,000 --> 01:15:18,000 ...can't we resolve this conflict without anger? 1311 01:15:19,500 --> 01:15:22,600 - I'm a veteran and a diabetic! - Dad! 1312 01:15:23,200 --> 01:15:26,800 - Dad! Why are you doing this? - Applebee's has rats! 1313 01:15:27,000 --> 01:15:29,200 I found a whole rat in my Cobb salad! 1314 01:15:29,500 --> 01:15:30,700 Dad, where are you going? 1315 01:15:30,900 --> 01:15:33,200 Come on, frat boy, you wanna go? 1316 01:15:33,400 --> 01:15:36,700 - What's going on, man? - Ricky, let him go! 1317 01:15:37,000 --> 01:15:40,400 - Things were going good, weren't they? - That's exactly why I had to blow it up. 1318 01:15:40,700 --> 01:15:42,500 I don't know what organ or bone people have... 1319 01:15:42,800 --> 01:15:45,600 ...that makes them act right, but I was born without it. I'm no good. 1320 01:15:45,800 --> 01:15:50,300 All those races I won, that was for you, you know that? 1321 01:15:50,600 --> 01:15:55,200 I did just like you told me: "If you ain't first, you're last." 1322 01:15:55,500 --> 01:15:57,100 What the hell are you talking about? 1323 01:15:57,300 --> 01:15:59,900 What you told me that day at school for career day. 1324 01:16:01,800 --> 01:16:05,400 You came in and you said, "If you ain't first, you're last." 1325 01:16:07,200 --> 01:16:10,200 Oh, hell, Ricky, I was high when I said that. 1326 01:16:10,400 --> 01:16:12,100 That doesn't make any sense at all. 1327 01:16:12,400 --> 01:16:16,300 "You're first or last." You can be second, you can be third, fourth. 1328 01:16:16,500 --> 01:16:18,300 Hell, you can even be fifth. 1329 01:16:18,500 --> 01:16:23,000 What are you talking about? I lived my whole life based on that. 1330 01:16:23,500 --> 01:16:25,400 Well, now what the hell am I supposed to do? 1331 01:16:27,400 --> 01:16:30,700 Well, that's the million-dollar question, isn't it? 1332 01:16:34,400 --> 01:16:36,400 Good luck to you, son. 1333 01:16:37,400 --> 01:16:38,900 Hey, Dad! 1334 01:16:40,400 --> 01:16:41,700 Where are you going? 1335 01:16:42,700 --> 01:16:44,600 Does it matter? 1336 01:17:15,700 --> 01:17:17,100 Here we go. 1337 01:17:19,100 --> 01:17:20,400 Hey, don't bump me. 1338 01:17:21,700 --> 01:17:24,000 Oh, man, I'm flying. 1339 01:17:28,600 --> 01:17:31,500 Game over. Come on, reset. 1340 01:17:31,600 --> 01:17:34,400 Boy, you are a terrible driver, no? 1341 01:17:34,400 --> 01:17:36,300 How'd you get on a video game so fast? 1342 01:17:36,500 --> 01:17:40,200 Is your name, by chance, Ricky Bobby? 1343 01:17:40,400 --> 01:17:43,500 Hey, screw you, man! I got nothing because of you! 1344 01:17:46,400 --> 01:17:48,800 - I hate you! - Hey, Ricky. 1345 01:17:49,000 --> 01:17:52,000 I am on fire. I am on fire. 1346 01:17:52,800 --> 01:17:54,000 Susan? 1347 01:17:54,200 --> 01:17:57,100 And so then I got a marketing job with NASCAR. 1348 01:17:57,400 --> 01:18:00,300 - Really? - Yeah, it's great. It's great. 1349 01:18:00,600 --> 01:18:04,100 Well, gosh, you look fantastic. 1350 01:18:04,400 --> 01:18:07,700 - Thank you. - I mean, you've always looked good. 1351 01:18:08,800 --> 01:18:12,500 I mean, I'm just... I'm happy for you. 1352 01:18:13,400 --> 01:18:14,700 Thank you. 1353 01:18:16,000 --> 01:18:17,600 But what about you? 1354 01:18:17,600 --> 01:18:19,800 How have you been? What have you been doing? 1355 01:18:20,000 --> 01:18:23,700 Well, they want me to race at Talladega next weekend, but I'm not gonna do it. 1356 01:18:24,000 --> 01:18:26,500 Because I'm done. I'm done with the racing, with driving. 1357 01:18:26,800 --> 01:18:29,600 - Why would you do that? - Because I've really moved on. 1358 01:18:29,700 --> 01:18:32,200 I've sent in my application to The Real World... 1359 01:18:32,400 --> 01:18:33,800 ...so I'm hoping to hear back. 1360 01:18:34,100 --> 01:18:37,600 I'm putting a lot of my eggs into that basket, the MTV basket. 1361 01:18:37,600 --> 01:18:41,000 I'm also thinking about getting a gun and dealing crack. 1362 01:18:41,200 --> 01:18:45,000 Being a crack dealer, but not like a mean crack dealer, but like a... 1363 01:18:45,200 --> 01:18:47,300 You know, like a nice one. 1364 01:18:47,600 --> 01:18:49,600 Just kind of friendly, like, "Hey... 1365 01:18:49,600 --> 01:18:52,000 ...what's up, guys? You want some crack?" 1366 01:18:52,200 --> 01:18:55,500 I'm just waiting on those two things to kind of flesh themselves out. 1367 01:18:55,600 --> 01:18:56,600 You know what, Ricky? 1368 01:18:56,800 --> 01:19:00,800 I have kept my mouth shut for a really, really long time. 1369 01:19:01,000 --> 01:19:03,500 And I just don't think that I can keep it shut anymore. 1370 01:19:03,600 --> 01:19:06,500 I just have to tell you that I think you are making a big mistake. 1371 01:19:06,700 --> 01:19:08,500 - Really? - Yes. 1372 01:19:08,500 --> 01:19:12,100 Why is it that you always fall for people who leave you? 1373 01:19:12,400 --> 01:19:14,200 Have you noticed that? 1374 01:19:14,400 --> 01:19:19,500 Like Carley and your dad and your sponsors. 1375 01:19:19,800 --> 01:19:23,300 And you always have to prove yourself. Wh...? 1376 01:19:24,800 --> 01:19:27,600 Well, you gotta listen to me here, okay? 1377 01:19:27,600 --> 01:19:31,600 You gotta win to get love. Everyone knows that. 1378 01:19:32,100 --> 01:19:34,400 I mean, that's just life. 1379 01:19:37,300 --> 01:19:40,500 Look at Don Shula, legendary coach. 1380 01:19:40,500 --> 01:19:44,000 Look at that Asian guy who holds the world record... 1381 01:19:44,200 --> 01:19:46,100 ...for eating all those hot dogs in a row. 1382 01:19:46,400 --> 01:19:50,000 Look at Rue McClanahan from The Golden Girls. 1383 01:19:50,900 --> 01:19:54,200 All three people, all great champions, all loved. 1384 01:19:54,500 --> 01:19:56,900 Do you wanna know why I think that you should race again? 1385 01:19:58,000 --> 01:19:59,200 Sure. Why? 1386 01:19:59,400 --> 01:20:03,400 Okay. It's because it's what you love, Ricky. 1387 01:20:04,100 --> 01:20:06,800 It is who you were born to be. 1388 01:20:07,000 --> 01:20:10,400 And here you sit, thinking. 1389 01:20:10,400 --> 01:20:15,500 Well, Ricky Bobby is not a thinker. Ricky Bobby is a driver. 1390 01:20:15,700 --> 01:20:18,100 He is a doer. And that's what you need to do. 1391 01:20:18,400 --> 01:20:20,200 You don't need to think, you need to drive. 1392 01:20:20,400 --> 01:20:24,200 You need speed. You need to go out there, and you need to rev your engine. 1393 01:20:24,400 --> 01:20:25,500 You need to fire it up. 1394 01:20:25,500 --> 01:20:28,400 You need to grab hold of the line between speed and chaos... 1395 01:20:28,400 --> 01:20:31,300 ...and you need to wrestle it to the ground like a demon cobra. 1396 01:20:31,600 --> 01:20:34,300 And then, when that fear rises up in your belly, you use it... 1397 01:20:34,600 --> 01:20:37,400 ...and you know that fear is powerful because it has been there... 1398 01:20:37,500 --> 01:20:41,500 ...for billions of years! And it is good, and you use it, and you ride it. 1399 01:20:41,800 --> 01:20:44,600 You ride it like a skeleton horse through the gates of hell... 1400 01:20:44,800 --> 01:20:46,400 ...and then you win! You win! 1401 01:20:46,400 --> 01:20:49,300 You don't win for anybody else, you win for you. You know why? 1402 01:20:49,500 --> 01:20:51,600 Because a man takes what he wants, he takes it all. 1403 01:20:51,800 --> 01:20:54,400 And you're a man, aren't you? Aren't you? 1404 01:20:55,500 --> 01:20:57,400 Susan, I've never heard you talk like that. 1405 01:21:00,900 --> 01:21:02,800 Are we about to get it on? 1406 01:21:03,100 --> 01:21:05,800 Because I'm as hard as a diamond in an ice storm right now. 1407 01:21:09,600 --> 01:21:11,600 - This is awesome. - Yes, it is. 1408 01:21:11,800 --> 01:21:14,700 - Are you climbing on the table now? - Yes, sir. 1409 01:21:20,300 --> 01:21:22,600 I can't believe this. 1410 01:21:22,800 --> 01:21:28,600 This is like that Whitesnake video where the girl crawls on... 1411 01:21:28,800 --> 01:21:31,700 Yeah. Just like that. What's her name? 1412 01:21:31,900 --> 01:21:34,000 Tawny Kitaen. She's really good. 1413 01:21:34,200 --> 01:21:36,200 - She's great. - She's fantastic. 1414 01:21:37,400 --> 01:21:38,900 Everyone, turn away. 1415 01:21:39,100 --> 01:21:43,100 Things are gonna get crazy. We're gonna make animal noises. 1416 01:22:18,500 --> 01:22:20,600 - Looks good, damn good. - Yeah. That's good, guys. 1417 01:22:20,900 --> 01:22:23,600 Yeah, Ricky, it's good to be back. 1418 01:22:23,600 --> 01:22:25,400 - Talladega. - Talladega. 1419 01:22:25,600 --> 01:22:27,600 I missed you dudes. 1420 01:22:27,800 --> 01:22:29,100 Even you too, Glenn. 1421 01:22:30,800 --> 01:22:35,900 I didn't have a whole lot of money left, but what I did I put into the car. 1422 01:22:36,100 --> 01:22:39,000 We got some lower-end sponsors, so it's nothing to shout about... 1423 01:22:39,200 --> 01:22:41,400 ...but at least we got something to run in. 1424 01:22:41,600 --> 01:22:42,900 Let's see what we got, guys. 1425 01:22:44,500 --> 01:22:47,500 What are we looking at? "Julio's thongs for men"? 1426 01:22:47,500 --> 01:22:49,700 Come on, what kind of dude wears a thong? 1427 01:22:49,900 --> 01:22:51,900 Yeah, that's messed up. 1428 01:22:52,400 --> 01:22:53,500 Perverts, you know? 1429 01:22:55,200 --> 01:22:56,500 It's not the best car, but it'll move. 1430 01:22:57,900 --> 01:23:01,500 Hold on, now, baby. Let's just see what this thing's got under the hood. 1431 01:23:03,500 --> 01:23:06,300 - There she is. - Looks like the Pep Boys threw up. 1432 01:23:06,600 --> 01:23:08,300 - Damn. - Like I said, work in progress. 1433 01:23:08,600 --> 01:23:12,100 All right, I tell you what we gotta do. Since we got no corporate money... 1434 01:23:12,400 --> 01:23:14,200 ...we have to build this engine ourselves. 1435 01:23:14,400 --> 01:23:18,400 I want you to hit up every independent driver out there for spare parts. 1436 01:23:18,600 --> 01:23:20,600 Yeah, Lucius, that's crazy. 1437 01:23:20,800 --> 01:23:24,100 Well, crazy is all we got right now, okay? So do it. 1438 01:23:24,400 --> 01:23:25,400 Now, where you going? 1439 01:23:25,700 --> 01:23:28,000 I wanna tell Gerard Depardieu we're coming for him. 1440 01:23:28,200 --> 01:23:30,800 There you go, baby. Give him hell. 1441 01:23:31,100 --> 01:23:34,400 Get this engine built. Get it built. 1442 01:23:40,800 --> 01:23:42,700 I have not finished. 1443 01:23:50,600 --> 01:23:54,400 Monsieur Girard, Ricky Bobby is here to see you. 1444 01:23:54,400 --> 01:23:58,400 This is the one I was talking about, Ricky Bobby. 1445 01:23:59,700 --> 01:24:02,200 Thank you, Bacco. Go. 1446 01:24:02,900 --> 01:24:05,300 You're a tough man to find. You know that, buster? 1447 01:24:05,500 --> 01:24:08,000 I prefer solitude the day before a race. 1448 01:24:08,300 --> 01:24:11,200 I am being so incredibly rude, Monsieur Bobby. 1449 01:24:11,500 --> 01:24:13,800 Let me introduce you to my lunch guests. 1450 01:24:14,000 --> 01:24:17,400 This is my dear old friend Elvis Costello. 1451 01:24:17,400 --> 01:24:21,300 Delightful to meet you, Mr. Robert. I thought you were dead. 1452 01:24:21,800 --> 01:24:28,000 And next to him is hip-hop artist, poet and my brother-in-law, Mos Def. 1453 01:24:28,300 --> 01:24:30,900 I like your driving style. I'm more of a Tony Stewart man... 1454 01:24:31,200 --> 01:24:32,600 ...number 20 car, myself. 1455 01:24:32,900 --> 01:24:34,800 How he gets into those straightaways. 1456 01:24:35,100 --> 01:24:36,500 Gets it in the paint. Get her done! 1457 01:24:36,800 --> 01:24:39,500 And across from Monsieur Def... 1458 01:24:40,600 --> 01:24:41,800 ...is Breeze. 1459 01:24:42,100 --> 01:24:45,200 Hey. You're Breeze or you're Breeze? Which one of you is Breeze? 1460 01:24:45,500 --> 01:24:47,800 Together we are Breeze. 1461 01:24:48,100 --> 01:24:51,800 They are like twins, born from different wombs. 1462 01:24:52,400 --> 01:24:53,700 - Right. - They are God's most... 1463 01:24:53,900 --> 01:24:56,200 ...beautiful mistake. 1464 01:24:56,500 --> 01:25:00,000 They do everything together. Everything. 1465 01:25:00,300 --> 01:25:02,500 They read the same books. 1466 01:25:02,800 --> 01:25:06,600 They do Pilates together. 1467 01:25:07,600 --> 01:25:10,000 They walk, talk, sleep... 1468 01:25:10,400 --> 01:25:12,200 ...even go make toilet. 1469 01:25:12,400 --> 01:25:14,300 Okay, you're starting to creep me out, man. 1470 01:25:14,600 --> 01:25:16,000 A single plop. 1471 01:25:16,300 --> 01:25:17,800 One single plop. 1472 01:25:19,700 --> 01:25:21,400 I don't need to hear about doing a toilet. 1473 01:25:21,700 --> 01:25:23,200 You want more examples? 1474 01:25:23,400 --> 01:25:26,400 - No, you listed like 8000. - Less than that. 1475 01:25:26,600 --> 01:25:28,500 - It's none of my business. - More like... 1476 01:25:28,700 --> 01:25:30,500 ...I don't know, between five and 10. 1477 01:25:30,500 --> 01:25:32,600 Look, I need to talk to you. 1478 01:25:33,000 --> 01:25:34,500 Walk with me, Ricky Bobby. 1479 01:25:34,800 --> 01:25:37,000 - You have a good lunch. - Take care, man. 1480 01:25:37,700 --> 01:25:39,800 - Goodbye, Ricky. - Goodbye. 1481 01:25:40,100 --> 01:25:42,900 Holding hands with a man makes me terribly uncomfortable. 1482 01:25:43,100 --> 01:25:46,200 It is a sign of friendship in many countries. 1483 01:25:46,500 --> 01:25:48,100 Well, not in ours. 1484 01:25:48,400 --> 01:25:50,900 There's nothing sexual about it. 1485 01:25:51,200 --> 01:25:53,400 Please don't be worried at the fact I have an erection. 1486 01:25:53,700 --> 01:25:56,400 - It has nothing to do with you. - Hey, come on. 1487 01:25:56,700 --> 01:26:01,500 Look. Here's the deal. I came here to tell you one thing. 1488 01:26:01,600 --> 01:26:04,400 All right? Tomorrow, I'm coming for you. 1489 01:26:04,500 --> 01:26:07,500 Do you know why I came to America, Ricky Bobby? 1490 01:26:08,300 --> 01:26:11,400 Public schools, health-care system, giant water parks. 1491 01:26:11,500 --> 01:26:13,700 I mean, the same reason anyone comes to America. 1492 01:26:15,100 --> 01:26:18,400 I came here for you to beat me. 1493 01:26:19,000 --> 01:26:22,000 - What the hell are you talking about? - My husband, Gregory, and I... 1494 01:26:22,200 --> 01:26:26,000 ...wish only for that which every other couple wishes for: 1495 01:26:26,200 --> 01:26:30,200 To tame Komodo dragons in Sri Lanka... 1496 01:26:30,400 --> 01:26:33,500 ...and teach them to perform Hamlet. 1497 01:26:33,600 --> 01:26:35,200 But before I can do that... 1498 01:26:35,400 --> 01:26:37,900 - That's dumb. - It's not dumb. 1499 01:26:38,200 --> 01:26:40,000 - It is dumb. - Why is it dumb? 1500 01:26:40,200 --> 01:26:42,100 - I don't know. - But before I can do that... 1501 01:26:42,400 --> 01:26:46,400 ...I must be beaten by a driver who's truly better than me. 1502 01:26:46,900 --> 01:26:49,100 So you're gonna lose to me on purpose? 1503 01:26:49,400 --> 01:26:51,000 - No. - No? 1504 01:26:51,300 --> 01:26:52,400 No! 1505 01:26:53,600 --> 01:26:56,300 I will battle you with the entirety of my heart. 1506 01:26:56,500 --> 01:26:58,300 And you will probably lose. 1507 01:26:58,900 --> 01:27:03,300 But maybe, just maybe... 1508 01:27:04,000 --> 01:27:06,300 ...you might challenge me. 1509 01:27:06,600 --> 01:27:08,000 God needs the devil. 1510 01:27:08,300 --> 01:27:11,200 The Beatles needed the Rolling Stones. 1511 01:27:11,400 --> 01:27:14,800 Even Diane Sawyer needed Katie Couric. 1512 01:27:16,000 --> 01:27:18,800 Will you be my Katie Couric? 1513 01:27:21,300 --> 01:27:23,500 I feel like I'm in Highlander. 1514 01:27:26,600 --> 01:27:28,200 What's the Highlander? 1515 01:27:28,500 --> 01:27:29,500 It's a movie. 1516 01:27:29,800 --> 01:27:31,600 - Any good? - Very good. 1517 01:27:31,800 --> 01:27:33,800 - It won the Academy Award. - Oh, for what? 1518 01:27:34,000 --> 01:27:35,600 For best movie ever made. 1519 01:27:35,800 --> 01:27:39,000 I just want you to know I came here today to tell you one thing. 1520 01:27:39,200 --> 01:27:42,000 That come race time tomorrow, I'm coming for you, all right? 1521 01:27:43,000 --> 01:27:45,100 - May God be with you. - Yeah. 1522 01:27:45,400 --> 01:27:48,400 Because although today I am friendly... 1523 01:27:49,400 --> 01:27:54,000 ...tomorrow will be war! 1524 01:27:55,000 --> 01:27:56,000 All right. 1525 01:28:01,300 --> 01:28:04,900 Ladies and gentlemen, pull up a chair, drop the kids off with their aunt... 1526 01:28:05,100 --> 01:28:07,900 ...and take the phone off the hook because it's race day here... 1527 01:28:08,100 --> 01:28:10,300 ...at the Talladega Superspeedway. 1528 01:28:20,500 --> 01:28:22,500 Hey, guys. 1529 01:28:24,900 --> 01:28:26,800 - Why so down? - Ricky... 1530 01:28:27,100 --> 01:28:29,500 ...we were up all night working on the car. 1531 01:28:29,800 --> 01:28:31,800 And then something happened. There was a fire. 1532 01:28:32,100 --> 01:28:33,500 Did you say "fire"? 1533 01:28:33,600 --> 01:28:35,100 Glenn is dead, Ricky. 1534 01:28:36,200 --> 01:28:39,500 I mean, he died last night in my arms... 1535 01:28:39,500 --> 01:28:41,200 ...as I held him. - Oh, man. 1536 01:28:41,400 --> 01:28:44,000 He was so scared, because you know how little he is. 1537 01:28:44,200 --> 01:28:46,500 And death was coming for him, and he stood there... 1538 01:28:46,500 --> 01:28:50,200 ...and with a tear coming out his eyes, he said, "Tell Ricky, win for me." 1539 01:28:50,400 --> 01:28:53,100 That's all that little bastard wanted, was for you to win. 1540 01:28:53,400 --> 01:28:54,500 I wish you could've seen him. 1541 01:28:54,700 --> 01:28:57,400 I wish you could've felt his little heart fluttering. 1542 01:28:57,500 --> 01:28:58,900 Sweet Jesus. 1543 01:28:59,400 --> 01:29:01,400 Poor Glenn. 1544 01:29:03,600 --> 01:29:06,600 Hey, what the hell, man. Hey, Glenn. Glenn! 1545 01:29:08,900 --> 01:29:12,300 - I see you. - Glenn, what did I say? 1546 01:29:12,600 --> 01:29:15,100 - I said, "Wait till after the race." - Was he crying? 1547 01:29:15,300 --> 01:29:18,700 I'm sorry, Ricky. We were just trying to give you a little extra motivation. 1548 01:29:18,900 --> 01:29:21,700 Well, that is just sick, guys. 1549 01:29:22,000 --> 01:29:24,900 It's okay, Susie. I appreciate it, guys. 1550 01:29:25,200 --> 01:29:26,600 Just trying to help out... 1551 01:29:26,600 --> 01:29:29,500 ...even though it was weird and perverse. 1552 01:29:29,600 --> 01:29:32,000 They're just trying to help, Ricky. We're a team here. 1553 01:29:32,300 --> 01:29:34,500 - I appreciate it. - Let's see what's under the hood. 1554 01:29:34,600 --> 01:29:36,700 All right, let's have a look. 1555 01:29:42,500 --> 01:29:45,700 Hot dog. I mean, that's like looking up Bridgette Wilson-Sampras' skirt. 1556 01:29:45,900 --> 01:29:49,300 We were up all night working on it. Like I said, a lot of teams gave parts. 1557 01:29:49,500 --> 01:29:50,600 Nice work, guys. 1558 01:29:50,800 --> 01:29:54,500 And your sponsors weren't doing very much, so... 1559 01:29:54,500 --> 01:29:56,500 ...well, we repainted the car. 1560 01:29:56,700 --> 01:29:59,000 Well, take a look. Come on, guys. 1561 01:30:01,800 --> 01:30:05,100 Well, I like the cougar, but what company is "M.E."? 1562 01:30:05,400 --> 01:30:07,500 "Me" is you... 1563 01:30:07,800 --> 01:30:09,500 ...because it's just you out there. 1564 01:30:09,600 --> 01:30:12,600 We don't have any corporate sponsors. 1565 01:30:12,600 --> 01:30:14,800 We don't have any fancy team owners. 1566 01:30:15,100 --> 01:30:16,600 We have you... 1567 01:30:16,800 --> 01:30:19,700 ...and this car, and this cougar... 1568 01:30:20,000 --> 01:30:22,800 ...which symbolizes the fear that you have overcome. 1569 01:30:23,000 --> 01:30:24,800 It's all there for you. 1570 01:30:25,300 --> 01:30:30,400 Ricky, this car is like your Excalibur, the mighty sword King Arthur used... 1571 01:30:30,500 --> 01:30:33,000 ...to bring together the Knights of the Round Table... 1572 01:30:33,200 --> 01:30:37,900 ...until Lancelot betrayed him by laying with his queen, in the biblical sense. 1573 01:30:38,200 --> 01:30:39,700 Okay, Glenn. 1574 01:30:40,000 --> 01:30:43,000 Everything cool that Susan said, you wrecked it. 1575 01:30:44,700 --> 01:30:46,900 Guys, let's go win ourselves a race, all right? 1576 01:30:47,100 --> 01:30:49,200 - There you go. Yeah! - Right? 1577 01:30:49,400 --> 01:30:51,700 Let's get out there and win a race. 1578 01:31:05,900 --> 01:31:07,400 From Provence, France... 1579 01:31:07,500 --> 01:31:11,200 ...driver of the number 55 Perrier car... 1580 01:31:11,500 --> 01:31:14,500 ...Jean Girard. 1581 01:31:21,900 --> 01:31:24,400 From West River, North Carolina... 1582 01:31:24,500 --> 01:31:27,700 ...driver of the number 47 Old Spice car... 1583 01:31:28,000 --> 01:31:31,200 ...Cal Naughton Jr. 1584 01:31:40,300 --> 01:31:42,100 Hey, Carley. 1585 01:31:42,300 --> 01:31:45,800 - Hey, Ricky. - Carley! Hey, baby. 1586 01:31:47,800 --> 01:31:49,400 Baby. 1587 01:31:49,500 --> 01:31:51,400 Oh, hey, Ricky. 1588 01:31:51,700 --> 01:31:54,400 Hey, man. We missed you at the wedding. 1589 01:31:54,400 --> 01:31:57,400 - You missed me at the wedding? - Oh, man, it was so classy. 1590 01:31:57,600 --> 01:32:01,100 We had a Styx cover band and a nacho fountain. 1591 01:32:01,300 --> 01:32:04,300 Check it, it was a nacho fountain with six kinds of cheese on it. 1592 01:32:04,500 --> 01:32:07,600 - Liquid cheese? It cascaded down? - Yeah. 1593 01:32:07,800 --> 01:32:10,000 - Are you serious? - Amazing. Six different kinds. 1594 01:32:10,200 --> 01:32:11,600 Swiss, Havarti. What was the other one? 1595 01:32:11,900 --> 01:32:13,000 - Gouda. - Cheddar, Gouda. 1596 01:32:13,200 --> 01:32:15,100 That's the greatest thing I ever heard of. 1597 01:32:15,400 --> 01:32:17,200 Bean buffet in front of it. It was awesome. 1598 01:32:17,400 --> 01:32:20,600 Don't listen to him. And remember one thing, he's the competition. 1599 01:32:20,800 --> 01:32:23,600 You're not very focused right now. I need you to focus. 1600 01:32:23,900 --> 01:32:25,300 - Hey. - What? 1601 01:32:25,500 --> 01:32:27,600 - I'm the Magic Man now. Okay? - Yeah, I know. 1602 01:32:27,900 --> 01:32:30,800 So get ready for some tricks up these sleeves, all right? 1603 01:32:31,100 --> 01:32:32,400 Watch your buns, pal. 1604 01:32:32,400 --> 01:32:35,400 Baby, that is real good talk. Like we practiced last night. 1605 01:32:35,400 --> 01:32:37,900 I got something to tell you, you mangy piece of trash. 1606 01:32:38,100 --> 01:32:40,700 - What? - I'm sorry. 1607 01:32:42,900 --> 01:32:46,400 I took you for granted, Cal, and you were a really good friend to me... 1608 01:32:46,600 --> 01:32:49,800 ...and I never gave you your due. It was my fault. 1609 01:32:51,000 --> 01:32:54,400 I'll tell you the truth. I'm a little confused by your tactics. 1610 01:32:54,500 --> 01:32:57,500 - Tactics? - Yeah. I'm gonna keep acting tough... 1611 01:32:57,500 --> 01:32:59,700 ...until I figure it out. All right? 1612 01:33:00,500 --> 01:33:02,200 See you on the track. 1613 01:33:02,400 --> 01:33:04,700 - Come on, baby. - I love you. 1614 01:33:04,900 --> 01:33:06,500 I love you too. Come on. 1615 01:33:06,800 --> 01:33:08,700 Abracadabra, homes. 1616 01:33:12,800 --> 01:33:15,500 Hi, Bill Weber, along with Wally Dallenbach and Benny Parsons. 1617 01:33:15,800 --> 01:33:19,500 Thanks for having us. Today, Talladega, NASCAR's biggest track... 1618 01:33:19,600 --> 01:33:21,500 ...where the big concern is the big wreck. 1619 01:33:21,600 --> 01:33:23,700 And it's not if it happens, it's where and when. 1620 01:33:23,900 --> 01:33:27,100 We have a guy in the race today that'll probably cause it, Ricky Bobby. 1621 01:33:27,400 --> 01:33:29,400 Starting in the rear of the field, underfunded... 1622 01:33:29,500 --> 01:33:32,100 ...and the last time we saw him, he caused a big crash. 1623 01:33:32,400 --> 01:33:35,700 A lot of big stories and some big questions here at Talladega. 1624 01:33:48,500 --> 01:33:50,700 All right, go get them. 1625 01:34:04,800 --> 01:34:06,700 You must decide, Ricky Bobby. 1626 01:34:07,000 --> 01:34:10,600 Is it foolish pride, or is it greatness for you? 1627 01:34:18,800 --> 01:34:21,500 - Hey, Jarvis! - Go ahead, Cal. 1628 01:34:21,800 --> 01:34:24,900 If you slept with your best friend's wife... 1629 01:34:25,100 --> 01:34:28,700 ...why would he apologize to you? - Yeah, I know. That's weird. 1630 01:34:29,000 --> 01:34:32,600 That's what I'm saying. My head's all tied up like a pretzel. 1631 01:34:32,900 --> 01:34:34,400 I got a pretzel in my head. 1632 01:34:39,400 --> 01:34:40,700 - Ricky! - Come on, Dad! 1633 01:35:07,600 --> 01:35:09,500 I've got some big investors coming by. 1634 01:35:09,600 --> 01:35:11,600 These guys are big-money power players. 1635 01:35:11,600 --> 01:35:15,000 If things go right, they could have us owning half the cars in NASCAR. 1636 01:35:15,200 --> 01:35:17,000 So I want you... No, I want you to behave. 1637 01:35:17,200 --> 01:35:18,500 - Oh, really? - Quiet. 1638 01:35:18,500 --> 01:35:20,900 Should I not tell them after 14 years of marriage... 1639 01:35:21,100 --> 01:35:23,200 ...you're still afraid to let me see you naked? 1640 01:35:23,400 --> 01:35:25,400 That's not a fear thing, it's a trust thing. 1641 01:35:25,900 --> 01:35:28,800 Hey! I was wondering where you guys got off to. 1642 01:35:29,100 --> 01:35:31,200 Baby, this is Ted Beamen from Halliburton. 1643 01:35:31,400 --> 01:35:33,500 - Nice to meet you. - Over here... 1644 01:35:33,500 --> 01:35:36,500 ...is Dick Tangfield from Dynacorp. 1645 01:35:36,500 --> 01:35:38,500 - Back there is... - You have beautiful teeth. 1646 01:35:38,800 --> 01:35:40,600 Yes, he does. Get yourselves down there. 1647 01:35:40,600 --> 01:35:42,400 - Adorable. - Make yourselves at home... 1648 01:35:42,500 --> 01:35:46,000 ...grab something to eat, over here... - Sweetheart, sweetheart. 1649 01:35:46,200 --> 01:35:47,600 You're a sweetie pie. 1650 01:35:47,800 --> 01:35:50,500 She's very affectionate. She suffered a recent loss... 1651 01:35:50,800 --> 01:35:52,100 You taste good too. 1652 01:35:52,400 --> 01:35:54,200 - So she's a little emotional. 1653 01:35:54,400 --> 01:35:58,400 Okay, that's fine. Go ahead, find a seat. Can we get these guys something? 1654 01:35:58,800 --> 01:36:02,100 Jean Girard started from the pole and is out to a big lead. 1655 01:36:02,400 --> 01:36:04,600 As you know, Bill, he's been doing that all year. 1656 01:36:07,100 --> 01:36:11,700 Where are you, Ricky Bobby? Come face your destroyer! 1657 01:36:12,000 --> 01:36:14,500 "Come face your destroyer"? Listen to how I sound. 1658 01:36:14,600 --> 01:36:16,400 I sound like a massive prick. 1659 01:36:18,600 --> 01:36:20,200 Come on, baby! Yeah, that's it. 1660 01:36:20,500 --> 01:36:23,300 All right, Lucius. Time to let the cougar loose. 1661 01:36:25,600 --> 01:36:27,400 Here we go, boys. 1662 01:36:35,200 --> 01:36:37,600 Ricky Bobby, in the 62 car, on the move. 1663 01:36:37,800 --> 01:36:40,000 He's gone from 26th to 18th place. 1664 01:36:40,300 --> 01:36:43,800 Now let's go to John Hannafin, in the stands with a country-music legend. 1665 01:36:44,100 --> 01:36:47,300 Thank you, Sean. I'm here with one of the greatest country-music stars... 1666 01:36:47,400 --> 01:36:49,200 ...of all time, Kenny Rogers. 1667 01:36:49,500 --> 01:36:53,400 - What do you think of the race so far? - It's good. They're going really fast. 1668 01:36:53,500 --> 01:36:55,600 John, that's not Kenny Rogers. 1669 01:36:55,800 --> 01:36:58,400 In the song "The Gambler," you sang: 1670 01:36:58,400 --> 01:37:01,600 "You gotta know when to walk away and know when to run." 1671 01:37:01,800 --> 01:37:04,400 Should Ricky Bobby have stayed away from racing? 1672 01:37:04,400 --> 01:37:09,600 Mr. Bobby's very competitive. If he wants to race, he should race. 1673 01:37:10,000 --> 01:37:13,800 Well, this is John Hannafin with Kenny Rogers. And now back to you, Bill. 1674 01:37:14,000 --> 01:37:15,900 Well, that, of course, was not Kenny Rogers. 1675 01:37:16,200 --> 01:37:17,100 Not even close. 1676 01:37:18,200 --> 01:37:20,300 Ricky, you've got Brian Wavecrest... 1677 01:37:20,400 --> 01:37:22,900 ...the guy that replaced you at Dennit, dead ahead. 1678 01:37:23,200 --> 01:37:25,800 Bobby working really hard to pass the Wonder Bread car. 1679 01:37:26,000 --> 01:37:27,800 That's his old ride, of course. 1680 01:37:34,400 --> 01:37:36,700 We've passed the halfway mark with Ricky Bobby... 1681 01:37:37,000 --> 01:37:40,000 ...now three car lengths behind the leader. 1682 01:37:40,200 --> 01:37:43,400 Maybe subconsciously you slept with Ricky's wife... 1683 01:37:43,500 --> 01:37:45,300 ...as a way of getting back at him... 1684 01:37:45,600 --> 01:37:48,300 ...for making you come in second all those years. 1685 01:37:48,600 --> 01:37:52,600 I know one thing, Carley was definitely unconscious every time we had sex. 1686 01:37:54,400 --> 01:37:56,600 Lucius, I got Cal Naughton dead ahead of me. 1687 01:37:59,900 --> 01:38:02,600 Hey, Cal, you should pay attention. I think he's passing you. 1688 01:38:02,800 --> 01:38:05,000 Is Ricky passing me in my subconscious? 1689 01:38:05,300 --> 01:38:08,100 No, he's actually passing you. That's happening right now. 1690 01:38:08,500 --> 01:38:10,800 Go, Ricky! Go! 1691 01:38:11,000 --> 01:38:12,500 Let's go back to our John Hannafin... 1692 01:38:12,800 --> 01:38:16,300 ...who's in the stands with an NBA legend, Larry Bird. 1693 01:38:16,600 --> 01:38:18,900 Folks, I'm here with one of the great NBA superstars... 1694 01:38:19,100 --> 01:38:20,800 ...a real legend, Larry Bird. 1695 01:38:21,000 --> 01:38:24,200 I almost didn't recognize you with the sunglasses. What are you up to? 1696 01:38:24,500 --> 01:38:26,000 Come on, John, pay attention. 1697 01:38:26,300 --> 01:38:28,400 I'm concerned. He might have had a stroke. 1698 01:38:28,500 --> 01:38:31,100 Didn't Ricky Bobby used to drive for you? 1699 01:38:31,400 --> 01:38:33,300 - Oh, yeah, yeah. - He's doing quite well. 1700 01:38:33,500 --> 01:38:36,500 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Richard! 1701 01:38:37,400 --> 01:38:39,700 Get Cal Naughton's crew chief on the radio right away. 1702 01:38:41,500 --> 01:38:45,500 I believe you have some tickets waiting for me. My name's Reese Bobby. 1703 01:38:46,000 --> 01:38:47,400 Reese Bobby. 1704 01:38:49,000 --> 01:38:52,500 Mister, these tickets have been waiting for you for a long time. 1705 01:38:59,500 --> 01:39:01,800 Who needs two? I got tickets! 1706 01:39:02,100 --> 01:39:04,200 Tickets, right here, 60 bucks a pop. 1707 01:39:11,500 --> 01:39:15,500 All right, Girard, I found you. Now let's see where this goes. 1708 01:39:16,000 --> 01:39:17,600 Bobby's gotten around Naughton... 1709 01:39:17,600 --> 01:39:21,300 ...and now he's right behind Girard, but Girard's gonna block the track. 1710 01:39:21,500 --> 01:39:23,600 Man, he's scary good. 1711 01:39:23,600 --> 01:39:25,800 Ah, Ricky Bobby. 1712 01:39:26,000 --> 01:39:30,500 Now we shall dance, and yes, it will be a slow jam. 1713 01:39:36,800 --> 01:39:39,200 Damn it. Come on, man. 1714 01:39:42,100 --> 01:39:44,600 I was wrong about you, Ricky Bobby. 1715 01:39:44,600 --> 01:39:47,100 You are not the one to defeat me. 1716 01:39:50,900 --> 01:39:52,300 I can't get around him, man. 1717 01:39:56,400 --> 01:39:58,900 You tell Cal Naughton to take Ricky Bobby out. 1718 01:39:59,200 --> 01:40:03,200 Hey, Cal, listen. I hate to add to your tremendous moral confusion... 1719 01:40:03,400 --> 01:40:04,700 ...but I just heard from Dennit. 1720 01:40:05,000 --> 01:40:08,000 He said to take Ricky Bobby out of the race or you're fired, buddy. 1721 01:40:08,300 --> 01:40:09,600 What are you talking about? 1722 01:40:09,800 --> 01:40:13,400 Tell him if he doesn't do it, he's done. That's right, he'll be driving a tour bus. 1723 01:40:13,700 --> 01:40:18,200 Well, you tell Mr. Dennit that Ricky Bobby is my best friend. 1724 01:40:18,400 --> 01:40:21,200 - And it's Shake and Bake time. - Cal, I don't like the way... 1725 01:40:21,400 --> 01:40:24,800 ...you're talking out there. - Damn the torpedoes! 1726 01:40:33,000 --> 01:40:37,000 Come on, man, slingshot it. Slingshot, come on. 1727 01:40:37,400 --> 01:40:40,400 I can't believe it. If it isn't Mike Honcho himself. 1728 01:40:40,700 --> 01:40:42,100 Shake and Bake, buddy! 1729 01:40:42,400 --> 01:40:44,200 Shake it before you bake it. 1730 01:40:45,100 --> 01:40:48,600 Here I come. Slingshot engaged. 1731 01:40:51,700 --> 01:40:53,400 Yeah! 1732 01:40:54,200 --> 01:40:55,600 I love you, Cal! 1733 01:40:55,900 --> 01:40:58,600 - What are you doing? - Can't believe it. Now I've seen it all. 1734 01:40:58,900 --> 01:41:03,600 Cal Naughton from Dennit Racing just helped a rival driver pass a teammate. 1735 01:41:05,600 --> 01:41:09,900 Darrell, you tell Brian Wavecrest to take out Cal Naughton right now. 1736 01:41:10,100 --> 01:41:12,400 Right now, you do it. You do it! 1737 01:41:13,300 --> 01:41:14,400 Yes, sir. 1738 01:41:22,200 --> 01:41:25,200 And the 26 car just ran Naughton into the wall. 1739 01:41:31,300 --> 01:41:32,700 Oh, man. 1740 01:41:38,600 --> 01:41:40,600 Damn you, Wavecrest! 1741 01:41:44,200 --> 01:41:48,200 The entire field was in that wreck, and we've only got six laps to go. 1742 01:41:48,500 --> 01:41:51,500 Only Ricky Bobby and Jean Girard got away clean. 1743 01:41:54,000 --> 01:41:56,500 It's just Jean and Ricky. 1744 01:42:00,800 --> 01:42:05,500 And now the matador shall dance with the blind shoemaker. 1745 01:42:07,500 --> 01:42:10,600 Race officials have completed an extensive cleanup of the track. 1746 01:42:10,900 --> 01:42:12,500 We're ready to get back to racing. 1747 01:42:12,500 --> 01:42:16,000 The 200,000 fans are on their feet, and the green flag is in the air. 1748 01:42:25,400 --> 01:42:27,800 Bobby and Girard are dueling each other for the lead. 1749 01:42:28,100 --> 01:42:30,400 No one seems to have the edge. 1750 01:42:30,500 --> 01:42:32,600 Go, go, go! Come on, come on, go! 1751 01:42:32,800 --> 01:42:35,600 Ladies and gentlemen, this is the final lap. 1752 01:42:38,700 --> 01:42:42,500 By the way, Ricky, I watched the Highlander movie. 1753 01:42:42,800 --> 01:42:44,200 It was shit. 1754 01:42:46,000 --> 01:42:48,400 Hang on, baby Jesus, this is gonna get bumpy. 1755 01:43:15,300 --> 01:43:17,300 I've seen a lot of big crashes at Talladega... 1756 01:43:17,600 --> 01:43:19,400 ...but this is the longest one I've ever seen. 1757 01:43:19,600 --> 01:43:22,400 Let's take a quick commercial break and we'll be right back. 1758 01:43:22,500 --> 01:43:24,500 Hungry for both steak and shrimp? 1759 01:43:32,400 --> 01:43:36,200 Welcome back to Talladega, where the long one continues. 1760 01:43:43,600 --> 01:43:47,500 No, no! Jean Girard and Ricky Bobby have wrecked in the last lap... 1761 01:43:47,800 --> 01:43:49,500 ...on the straightaway. What a shame. 1762 01:43:49,700 --> 01:43:51,500 Oh, God. 1763 01:43:52,600 --> 01:43:56,500 It looks like neither Girard or Bobby will finish this race. 1764 01:43:56,500 --> 01:43:59,800 We'd like to thank you for joining us for NBC's coverage of NAS CAR. 1765 01:44:00,000 --> 01:44:03,000 Coming up next, it's Ice Dancing to the Hits of Motown. 1766 01:44:22,600 --> 01:44:25,400 Wait a minute, there's something going on on the track down there. 1767 01:44:25,700 --> 01:44:27,900 Oh, my God, they're racing each other on foot. 1768 01:44:28,200 --> 01:44:29,400 These men will not quit. 1769 01:44:29,700 --> 01:44:31,800 Go! Go! 1770 01:44:34,400 --> 01:44:37,100 Ricky, Ricky. He's going, he's going, he's going. Look! 1771 01:45:14,600 --> 01:45:16,400 He did it! 1772 01:45:23,000 --> 01:45:25,100 Well, I'll be damned. 1773 01:45:26,500 --> 01:45:28,500 Good for you, Ricky Bobby. 1774 01:45:34,500 --> 01:45:36,600 Yeah! Yeah! 1775 01:45:36,800 --> 01:45:38,200 Ricky Bobby wins! 1776 01:45:38,400 --> 01:45:40,900 You'll never see anything like that in a hundred lifetimes. 1777 01:45:41,200 --> 01:45:44,700 It was completely illegal and in no way will count, but that was something. 1778 01:45:45,000 --> 01:45:47,400 It was. That was really good. 1779 01:45:49,900 --> 01:45:53,600 Monsieur Bobby, by defeating me today... 1780 01:45:53,600 --> 01:45:56,200 ...you have set me free. 1781 01:45:56,400 --> 01:45:58,800 And for that, I thank you. 1782 01:46:00,800 --> 01:46:04,400 I will never shake your hand, ever. 1783 01:46:06,400 --> 01:46:08,500 But I will give you this. 1784 01:46:29,800 --> 01:46:34,600 Sir, you taste of America. 1785 01:46:35,900 --> 01:46:37,800 Thank you. 1786 01:46:42,800 --> 01:46:45,900 No, once was good. Once was good. 1787 01:46:50,400 --> 01:46:53,300 Boy, that Halliburton. Halliburton's taken off, haven't they? 1788 01:46:53,500 --> 01:46:54,800 Yeah, yeah, we're doing well. 1789 01:46:55,000 --> 01:46:57,700 Now there's some stock I'd like to get my hands on. 1790 01:46:58,000 --> 01:47:00,000 Ladies and gentlemen, NASCAR fans... 1791 01:47:00,200 --> 01:47:02,700 ...your eyes on Talladega's famed Victory Lane... 1792 01:47:03,000 --> 01:47:04,800 ...as we get ready for trophy time here... 1793 01:47:05,000 --> 01:47:08,200 ...following an exciting running of the Talladega 500. 1794 01:47:08,400 --> 01:47:10,600 First, a very brief explanation. 1795 01:47:10,800 --> 01:47:15,400 Because the drivers that finished first and second got out of their cars... 1796 01:47:15,400 --> 01:47:18,000 ...they have officially been disqualified. 1797 01:47:18,200 --> 01:47:21,900 So now the winner, he was third, he's now number one: 1798 01:47:22,600 --> 01:47:26,000 Cal Naughton Jr.! 1799 01:47:27,200 --> 01:47:28,800 Yeah, come on, guys! 1800 01:47:31,500 --> 01:47:34,500 - Give me that thing. - Cal, you're number one! 1801 01:47:34,500 --> 01:47:37,200 I've been waiting a long time for you to say my name, man. 1802 01:47:37,400 --> 01:47:40,400 I know it's a technicality, but I tell you what... 1803 01:47:40,600 --> 01:47:43,900 ...you try to take this away from me, I'll sock you in the face. 1804 01:47:44,200 --> 01:47:45,900 Ricky. 1805 01:47:46,200 --> 01:47:47,800 Give me that thing. 1806 01:47:50,600 --> 01:47:53,800 I can't believe it. I can't believe it! 1807 01:47:54,400 --> 01:47:57,400 - Cal! - Put me down. 1808 01:47:57,500 --> 01:47:59,200 I'm proud of you! 1809 01:47:59,400 --> 01:48:02,900 Get up here, man. No, you come up here. 1810 01:48:03,200 --> 01:48:04,400 You come up here. 1811 01:48:07,700 --> 01:48:10,100 - Cal Naughton! Cal Naughton. - Oh, my God. 1812 01:48:10,400 --> 01:48:13,200 For this to happen... Am I dead, man? 1813 01:48:13,500 --> 01:48:15,600 You won the Talladega 500, all right? 1814 01:48:17,200 --> 01:48:18,600 I owe you an apology. 1815 01:48:19,200 --> 01:48:21,500 - Come on. - Man, I'm sorry about Carley. 1816 01:48:21,800 --> 01:48:24,600 She walked straight up to me and grabbed me in the crotch. 1817 01:48:24,900 --> 01:48:28,400 - It's like a tractor beam of hotness. - I know. 1818 01:48:29,700 --> 01:48:31,600 Shake and Bake? 1819 01:48:33,000 --> 01:48:36,200 No. Never again. 1820 01:48:38,200 --> 01:48:42,200 You're right. I was a total dick, man. 1821 01:48:42,600 --> 01:48:44,700 From now on... 1822 01:48:46,000 --> 01:48:48,200 ...it's Magic Man... 1823 01:48:48,400 --> 01:48:49,800 ...and El Diablo. 1824 01:48:50,800 --> 01:48:52,500 What's "Diablo" mean? 1825 01:48:52,700 --> 01:48:54,000 It's like, you know... 1826 01:48:54,200 --> 01:48:56,400 It's like Spanish for, like, a fighting chicken. 1827 01:48:56,500 --> 01:48:58,000 - That's awesome. - I know. 1828 01:48:58,200 --> 01:49:01,300 - With the claws. - With the claws and the beak. 1829 01:49:01,600 --> 01:49:02,800 Where did you think of that? 1830 01:49:03,100 --> 01:49:04,600 You just... Sometimes things click. 1831 01:49:05,400 --> 01:49:07,700 - I love you, bro. - I love you too. 1832 01:49:09,400 --> 01:49:13,200 Oh, my God! Oh, my God, I can't believe it! 1833 01:49:14,000 --> 01:49:17,500 Excuse me, guys. Nice job. 1834 01:49:17,500 --> 01:49:19,000 Hey, Ricky. 1835 01:49:19,600 --> 01:49:20,700 Hey, Carley. 1836 01:49:21,000 --> 01:49:24,600 I've decided I can love you again. You're a winner. 1837 01:49:25,200 --> 01:49:27,500 - Yeah, I don't think so. - Really? 1838 01:49:27,600 --> 01:49:32,600 Are you prepared to walk away from these pearls... 1839 01:49:33,900 --> 01:49:35,200 ...of delight? 1840 01:49:39,600 --> 01:49:43,300 Well... Yeah, this is tough. How would it work? 1841 01:49:43,600 --> 01:49:45,200 - Would Cal move out? - Yep, gone. 1842 01:49:45,500 --> 01:49:47,400 Kids move back in? 1843 01:49:47,600 --> 01:49:50,800 - Can I just have a little refresher? - Of course, baby. 1844 01:49:52,400 --> 01:49:54,400 This is why you fell in love, don't forget. 1845 01:49:54,400 --> 01:49:56,800 Yeah, I'm in. I'm moving in right now. 1846 01:49:57,000 --> 01:49:58,900 I'll drive 100 miles an hour to your house. 1847 01:49:59,100 --> 01:50:00,800 - Our house. Our house. - Our house, yeah. 1848 01:50:01,000 --> 01:50:03,400 No, I'm not. Come on. It's gonna be awkward. 1849 01:50:03,400 --> 01:50:05,100 - Hey, baby. - Hey. 1850 01:50:07,300 --> 01:50:09,000 Wait a minute. 1851 01:50:09,300 --> 01:50:12,500 You are ready to walk away... 1852 01:50:12,600 --> 01:50:16,300 ...from FHM magazine's number seven hottest ass... 1853 01:50:16,600 --> 01:50:20,300 ...for the girl who forgets to get your dry cleaning? 1854 01:50:20,600 --> 01:50:21,900 - Yeah. - Yeah? 1855 01:50:22,300 --> 01:50:24,800 - Yeah. - Good luck, weirdoes. 1856 01:50:25,100 --> 01:50:26,800 - Carley, come back here. - Yes, Susie Q? 1857 01:50:27,000 --> 01:50:30,000 There's something I've wanted to tell you for a really long time. 1858 01:50:31,300 --> 01:50:34,500 Thank you. Maybe one together? 1859 01:50:35,400 --> 01:50:38,400 - Susie Q, are those real? - Yeah. 1860 01:50:38,600 --> 01:50:41,500 Well, girl, you got some game. 1861 01:50:43,400 --> 01:50:45,400 - We'll see you on down the road. - Yeah. 1862 01:50:45,400 --> 01:50:47,400 - You seen Cal? - He's somewhere around here. 1863 01:50:47,400 --> 01:50:50,500 Hey, Cal! Baby, I'm coming. Thanks, baby. 1864 01:50:51,500 --> 01:50:54,200 - Maybe one more? - Oh, boys. 1865 01:50:54,400 --> 01:50:55,800 - She's crazy. - Oh, thank you. 1866 01:50:56,200 --> 01:50:57,600 - You did good. - Thanks, Mama. 1867 01:50:57,900 --> 01:50:59,400 He's amazing. 1868 01:50:59,400 --> 01:51:01,500 That was one heck of a day, I gotta say. 1869 01:51:01,800 --> 01:51:04,500 That's some nice driving there, cowboy. 1870 01:51:04,800 --> 01:51:07,500 - Hey, Daddy. - Well, hello, Reese. 1871 01:51:07,700 --> 01:51:12,400 Well, if it isn't our old mangy, transient grandfather. 1872 01:51:12,700 --> 01:51:15,500 Well said, grandson. Take that as a compliment. 1873 01:51:15,600 --> 01:51:18,700 Hey, Ricky, let me ask you a question. 1874 01:51:21,700 --> 01:51:23,500 Who did you win that race for? 1875 01:51:23,600 --> 01:51:25,700 Well, I sure as hell didn't win it for you. 1876 01:51:26,400 --> 01:51:27,800 I like hearing that. 1877 01:51:28,900 --> 01:51:31,500 I guess if I really gotta think about it... 1878 01:51:31,900 --> 01:51:34,500 ...I just went out there and drove. 1879 01:51:34,800 --> 01:51:37,000 And knew that no matter what happened... 1880 01:51:37,600 --> 01:51:43,200 ...my boys, my mama, and my lady would love me. 1881 01:51:44,500 --> 01:51:47,500 Hi, I'm his lady, I'm Susan. 1882 01:51:47,600 --> 01:51:50,400 I painted the car, I... We had sex. 1883 01:51:50,500 --> 01:51:52,400 - Is that right? - Yeah. 1884 01:51:52,600 --> 01:51:54,600 Well, I wish I could've been there for that. 1885 01:51:54,800 --> 01:51:57,400 Son, I'm proud of you. 1886 01:51:58,800 --> 01:52:03,300 Yep. Yeah, I think... I guess things are... 1887 01:52:04,400 --> 01:52:06,400 ...just pretty much perfect right now. 1888 01:52:08,500 --> 01:52:10,500 It's making me a little itchy. 1889 01:52:12,300 --> 01:52:15,400 Well, what do you say we get thrown out of an Applebee's? 1890 01:52:15,700 --> 01:52:18,100 - That sound like a good idea? - You read my mind, son. 1891 01:52:18,400 --> 01:52:20,800 - You can cuss at Applebee's. - Everybody pile in. 1892 01:52:21,000 --> 01:52:22,800 How does one get thrown out of Applebee's? 1893 01:52:23,000 --> 01:52:25,400 - You're about to find out. - Okay. 1894 01:52:25,700 --> 01:52:27,600 Watch, the doors actually open. 1895 01:52:59,000 --> 01:53:01,400 - Hey, I'm Ricky Bobby. - And I'm Cal Naughton Jr. 1896 01:53:01,700 --> 01:53:05,000 We just want to take a moment to talk to you about snow blindness in cats. 1897 01:53:05,300 --> 01:53:07,400 It's affecting more and more cats every year. 1898 01:53:07,600 --> 01:53:10,300 And it scares the living shit out of us. 1899 01:53:11,500 --> 01:53:14,400 Ninety-eight percent of us will die at some point in our lives. 1900 01:53:14,400 --> 01:53:17,500 The darkness is creeping towards you, whether you know it or not. 1901 01:53:17,500 --> 01:53:19,200 A little planning can go a long way. 1902 01:53:19,500 --> 01:53:21,400 Listen, leaving your big old corpse behind... 1903 01:53:21,500 --> 01:53:23,600 ...for your loved ones to deal with ain't cool. 1904 01:53:23,800 --> 01:53:26,300 That's why you should call McCreedy Funeral Service. 1905 01:53:26,500 --> 01:53:30,300 McCreedy's. They'll find the hole and build the box. 1906 01:53:30,600 --> 01:53:33,800 Bodies that look so good, you're gonna wanna talk to it. 1907 01:53:37,500 --> 01:53:39,600 We like to have a lot of laughs on the racetrack... 1908 01:53:39,800 --> 01:53:42,200 ...but today we wanna talk about something serious: 1909 01:53:42,400 --> 01:53:46,400 Packs of stray dogs that control most of the major cities. 1910 01:53:48,600 --> 01:53:52,600 That's packs of wild, vicious dogs that are controlling most of... 1911 01:53:52,600 --> 01:53:53,600 Sorry. 1912 01:53:54,200 --> 01:53:57,200 I like to picture Jesus like a mischievous badger. 1913 01:53:57,500 --> 01:53:59,500 Like a muscular trapeze artist. 1914 01:53:59,700 --> 01:54:03,100 Like a shapeshifter or a changeling, like that guy. 1915 01:54:03,300 --> 01:54:04,900 You ever hear of that TV show Manimal? 1916 01:54:05,200 --> 01:54:08,200 I like to think of Jesus as a figure skater... 1917 01:54:08,500 --> 01:54:10,100 ...who wears, like, a white outfit... 1918 01:54:10,300 --> 01:54:13,700 ...and he does interpretive ice dances of my life's journey. 1919 01:54:14,000 --> 01:54:15,900 Like a dirty old bum. 1920 01:54:16,100 --> 01:54:19,400 He comes up to me, I'm about to sock him one because he's a dirty old bum. 1921 01:54:19,500 --> 01:54:22,000 Then I said, "Wait a minute, I better not sock this guy. 1922 01:54:22,200 --> 01:54:23,600 Something special about him." 1923 01:54:23,600 --> 01:54:26,000 - Yeah, and it turns out it's Jesus. - Yeah. 1924 01:54:26,500 --> 01:54:28,400 One, two... Oh, God. 1925 01:54:28,700 --> 01:54:32,100 - Not again! No go. No go! - It's stuck. It's stuck. 1926 01:54:32,600 --> 01:54:34,200 We got two knives in my leg. 1927 01:54:34,500 --> 01:54:37,700 I know, but one is a safety knife. One is a safety. 1928 01:54:40,000 --> 01:54:41,600 It's coming out. It's coming out. 1929 01:54:41,600 --> 01:54:43,100 I'm choking on my own spit. 1930 01:54:43,400 --> 01:54:45,800 It hurts so bad I'm choking on my own spit. 1931 01:54:46,200 --> 01:54:48,400 Good night, guys. I'm losing a lot of blood. 1932 01:54:48,600 --> 01:54:50,400 - Just relax, man. - Good night. 1933 01:54:50,600 --> 01:54:53,300 Ricky! Wake... 1934 01:54:54,900 --> 01:54:59,900 Sometimes, when it's late at night, I dress up like Donna Summers. 1935 01:55:00,200 --> 01:55:04,700 You know, I put on the skirt and the four-inch heels, man. 1936 01:55:05,000 --> 01:55:06,400 I love it. 1937 01:55:16,100 --> 01:55:17,900 Sorry. Sorry. 1938 01:55:19,500 --> 01:55:22,800 I would be honored if you would let me sign your cast. 1939 01:55:23,000 --> 01:55:25,400 And I would be honored if you'd sign my balls. 1940 01:55:25,700 --> 01:55:28,200 - Oh, baby, that is a good one. - Hey, what are you doing? 1941 02:00:45,600 --> 02:00:49,000 "Don't touch a one of them. They're mine." 1942 02:00:51,600 --> 02:00:54,500 So, what do you think that story was about? 1943 02:00:54,800 --> 02:00:57,500 Doesn't the bear symbolize the old South... 1944 02:00:57,800 --> 02:01:01,800 ...and the new dog, the encroaching industrialization of the North? 1945 02:01:02,100 --> 02:01:07,000 Duh. But the question is, should the reader feel relief or sadness... 1946 02:01:07,200 --> 02:01:08,800 ...at the passing of the old South? 1947 02:01:09,000 --> 02:01:10,600 Well, how about both? 1948 02:01:10,800 --> 02:01:13,800 Oh, I get it. Moral ambiguity. 1949 02:01:14,100 --> 02:01:18,500 The hallmark of all early 20th-century American fiction. 1950 02:01:18,500 --> 02:01:21,600 - Great analysis, Walker. - Thank you. 161723