Original subtitles

[instrumental music]

[crowd applauding]

[bat knocking]

[audience cheering]

[bat knocking]

[crowd cheering]

[instrumental music]

[music continues]

[mellow music]

Hold it, boys.

Steady...that's

it.

- Alright for you, Pete?

- Sure.

Alright, boys, change clothes

if you want to..

- 'But get back to work.'

- And make it snappy.

Well, Mike, what have

you

got for us?

Well, we're starting

spring training

with the same line-up

as last year's

Taylor behind the bat

and Gordon on third.

Goldberg, douse that heater.

[coughs]

Yes, sir.

And to round out the infield,

we're having

that old double-play

combination.

- O'Brien to Ryan to Goldberg.

- Maybe.

Well, you've got Goldberg

alright, but they tell me

O'Brien and Ryan

ain't showing up this

year.

- What?

- Don't make me laugh.

Listen, you can tell your

readers that O'Brien and Ryan

are on their way

right here this minute.

And what's more, they've been

working out all winter.

- And they're in the pink.

- Sure. Okay.

Thanks, fellas.

What did you hear

from O'Brien and Ryan?

Not a word. I sent 10

telegrams,

and they ain't answered one.

Well, here's one they'll

answer.

Where are they?

They're in, uh,

Pottstown, Illinois.

Pottstown, Illinois.

Get a pencil and

paper.

Write this down.

O'Brien and Ryan,

Pottstown,

Illinois.

Who do you guys

think you are?

Stop.

Get your carcass on

the first train to

Florida

or I'll throw you

both

out of baseball.

- "I'll throw.."

- Wait a minute.

Make a change there, uh..

Just say, uh..

Please,

fellas,

we need you.

[dramatic music]

♪ Nelly Kelly

loved baseball games ♪

♪ Knew the players

knew all their names ♪

♪ You could see her there

every day ♪

♪ Shout hooray ♪

♪ When they'd play ♪

♪ Her boyfriend

by the name of Joe said ♪

♪ To Coney Isle dear we'll go ♪

♪ Then Nelly started

to fret and pout ♪

♪ And to him

I heard her shout ♪

♪ Hey! ♪

♪ Take me

out to the ball game ♪

♪ Take me out

with the crowd ♪

♪ Buy me some peanuts

and Cracker Jack ♪

♪ I don't care

if I never get back ♪

♪ Let me root root root

for the home team ♪

♪ If they don't win

it's a shame ♪

♪ 'Cause it's one ♪

♪ Two ♪

♪ Three strikes you're out

at the old ball game ♪♪

[feet tapping]

[instrumental music]

[music continues]

[crowd applauding]

- Give them a bow.

- Huh?

You wanna chase 'em all home?

You wanna?

Yeah, we wanna.

Why don't you stop stealing

bows, why don't you?

Why don't you mind your

own

business, why don't you?

Oh, you bonehead.

I got a notion

to--

- To what?

- Hey, Danny, cut it out.

Will ya?

- Oh!

- Hey, you big lug!

- Now, wait a minute, Eddie.

- Eddie, hold it!

Damn it. Come on, wake up, kid.

We're in a hurry.

- What happened?

- Oh, nothing.

- This happens all the time.

- It does?

Yes, every once in a while

he gets illusions.

- He thinks he's got muscles.

- Hey, you're not pulling out?

- Are you?

- Yeah. We..

We got to catch a train,

we're joining

the ball club in Florida.

- Oh.

- Oh.

Now look..

Goodbye, baby

doll.

- See you next season!

- Goodbye.

Lucky punch,

that's what it was.

Uh-huh, how many times

have I told you

to pick on somebody

your size?

There ain't nobody

my size.

Why, I could've knocked

the big lug for a loop.

It's just that, well,

I didn't wanna hurt my hands.

Oh, sure.

What, you want me to show up

at spring training

with a busted hand, do you?

Hey, you save these

pictures,

don't you?

For the kids

at the park, yeah.

Hey, that's me.

I'd sooner have my

picture

in front of a theater.

Ah, you and your

show business.

Ah.

Gee, it's gonna be great

to get back

in that old ball game again.

I can hear the umps now.

"Batteries for today..

...Rube Waddell

and Ossee Schreck."

Kind of chokes you up,

doesn't it?

Yeah, it chokes

me.

Kehhh!

When I think of

the dames I lost

because I had to be

in bed by 10

o'clock.

Can play a lot

of checkers by 10 o'clock.

No, sir, brother.

Give me

Vaudeville

anytime

and maybe a musical show.

Fifty girls. Fifty.

Maybe even a 100 girls, a 100.

Oh, boy.

Gee, I suppose it would be

more fun than playing

checkers.

You suppose?

Hey, you know, Denny

you're getting old

enough to find out.

Well, to tell you

the truth, Ed, um

lately, I-I have been thinking

a lot about romance

and about girls.

- No.

- Yeah.

[chuckling]

Hey, they smiled at

us.

Let's go talk to

We don't even know them.

But I feel like talking.

I'm a very sociable fellow.

Well, um,

let's go talk

to those fellas

over there, huh?

Denny..

...it ain't the same.

[instrumental music]

Sam, drop our stuff

at the hotel, will you?

Yes, sir, Mr. O'Brien.

How are you?

How you doin', kids?

You gonna cop another

pennant this season?

- How's your throwing arm?

- You got any pictures?

There's the guy

with the pictures.

Got thousands of them.

There you are.

Gee, what a sight, huh?

'Oh, you got to admit,

it's a great thrill.'

Who's knocking it?

Kind of a warm feeling comes

over you, doesn't it?

Happens to me

every spring.

[instrumental music]

- Denny!

- Eddie!

[clamoring]

Hey! Hey, you lugs!

Come here!

It's about time!

Ryan, how are you?

- Good to see you--

- O'Brien!

- Goldberg!

- Hey, Eddie! Dennis!

How are you? Hey!

How you been?

Hey, what about

your

Vaudeville tour?

Oh, it was great.

We worked every town in the USA.

But we didn't work hard.

We had time for play.

The art shows, the bird walks,

the museums were nice.

Denny, tell them

about the girls

the quails, the mice.

- The mice!

- Oh, yeah. The girls!

♪ I kissed a gal

in Old Wyoming ♪

♪ She rode a horse in a wild

west show yee-hoo! ♪

♪ When I said baby

I'm bent on roamin' ♪

♪ She cried

we just got started ♪

♪ And she sighed

we can't be parted ♪

♪ But I left her

broken-hearted ♪

♪ At the rodeo ♪

♪ Oh yes indeed ♪

♪ Yes indeedy ♪

♪ Yes indeed ♪

♪ The boy said no ♪

♪ Yes indeed yes indeedy ♪

♪ I left her broken-hearted

at the rodeo ♪

♪ I kissed a gal

way out in Boise ♪

♪ That's Idaho

where potatoes grow ♪

♪ I went away and

her sobs were noisy ♪

♪ I said

I'll see you later ♪

♪ And I hopped

the nearest freighter ♪

♪ Left her holdin'

a potater ♪

♪ Down in Idaho ♪

♪ Yes indeed ♪

♪ Yes indeedy ♪

♪ Yes indeed ♪

♪ The boy said no ♪

♪ Yes indeed yes indeedy ♪

♪ She's left with her

potatoes

down in Idaho ♪

♪ I kissed a gal

in Old Poughkeepsie ♪

♪ That's where the college

of Vassar's found ♪

♪ She couldn't study

love made her tipsy ♪

♪ Her teachers

wouldn't pass her ♪

♪ So she just

turned on the gas ♪

♪ And now the sweetest

girl at Vassar's ♪

♪ In the cold

cold ground ♪

♪ Yes indeed ♪

♪ Yes indeedy ♪

♪ Yes indeed ♪

♪ The boy's a hound ♪

♪ Yes indeed yes indeedy ♪

♪ The sweetest gal at Vassar's

in the cold cold ground ♪

♪ I met a gal

when we hit Manhattan ♪

♪ A scrumptious babe

dressed in silk and lace ♪

♪ Her eyes were stars

and her skin was satin ♪

♪ I told her

how I'd miss her ♪

♪ Then she murmured

that and this-er ♪

♪ So I thought I'd

try to kiss her ♪

♪ But she

slapped my face ♪

♪ No ♪

♪ Yes indeed ♪

♪ Yes indeedy ♪

♪ Yes indeed

couldn't reach first base ♪

♪ Yes indeed ♪

♪ Yes indeedy ♪

♪ I thought I'd try

to kiss her ♪

♪ But she slapped my face ♪

♪ I kissed a gal

down in Mississippi ♪

♪ A southern belle

name of Emmy Jo ♪

♪ That was her name ♪

♪ I thought for once

love had got me dippy ♪

♪ She called me

lucky seven ♪

♪ Said my kisses

were from heaven ♪

♪ Then I learned

she was 11 ♪

♪ And I had to go ♪

♪ Yes indeedy ♪

♪ Yes indeedy ♪

♪ Yes indeedy ♪

♪ The boy said no ♪

♪ Yes indeedy ♪

♪ Yes indeedy ♪

♪ Her age was just 11

so he had to go ♪

♪ Yes indeed ♪

♪ Yes indeedy ♪

♪ Yes indeed ♪

♪ The boys played hey! ♪

♪ Yes indeed yes indeedy ♪

♪ We're hot

as electric wires ♪

♪ Twice as hot

as forest fires ♪

♪ And the biggest

pair of liars.. ♪

- Liars?

- Liars?

Mm-hmm.

- What the hey?

- What the hey?

♪ We're the biggest

pair of liars ♪

♪ In the USA ♪♪

[all cheering]

- Hey, Gilhuly!

- Hiya, Mike.

Hiya, Mike. How are you?

Hey, what's ailing him?

I got some bad news

for you, fellas.

- What?

- This just came.

"From the law

office

of Hergenscheimer

Hergenscheimer,

Hergenscheimer.."

Never mind the batting order.

"Gentlemen,

this will inform you

"that according to the will

"of the late

Colonel J.B. Newhouse

"former owner of the baseball

club known as the Wolves

"all rights

and interests in said club

"have been bequeathed

to the late

"colonel's young

and distant relative

"one K.C. Higgins

"who will arrive

in Florida on the 10th instant

"to assert ownership

"and actively participate

"in the management

of said club.

Yours truly,

Joseph Hergenscheimer."

Who's K.C. Higgins?

Whoever he is,

he'll probably wanna pitch.

You mean we gotta take

orders

from some dopey kid

who never swang a bat?

- Looks that way.

- Not to me, it doesn't.

I don't know about

you fellas

but I want us

to win the pennant.

You don't cop any prize money

finishing last place.

You know, a thing like this

happened to Baltimore once.

They had to dig 'em

out of the cellar.

If this guy opens

his trap, I quit.

So do I!

[indistinct chatter]

Wait a second! Wait a second!

Quiet! Quiet. Quiet.

Wait a minute! Wait a minute.

Wait a minute now.

How about a little

fair play here, boys?

You guys don't even

know this Higgins.

Now here's what I say.

He's gonna arrive here

Sunday morning

and until that time,

let's keep an open mind.

And above all, let's not

judge him too hastily..

...the little rat.

You take the back end.

You Mr. Higgins?

K.C. Higgins?

- Higgins?

- No.

Good.

- Either of you Higgins?

- No.

- Oh!

- Oh! I'm so sorry--

- That's alright.

- Gosh, I-I..

I-I never did have

any sense of direction

Miss, uh, K.C..

Uh, Miss Higgins.

- Thank you.

- You're welcome.

Florida Palms Hotel, please.

K.C. Higgins!

He's a girl!

Ha ha ha!

[whistling "Funeral March

of a Marionette"]

Uh, miss..

Are you, uh,

looking

for someone?

Well, uh, yes, I am.

Michael Gilhuly.

He's the manager

of the Wolves.

Uh, could you point him out

to me, please?

Well, it would be

an awful long

point.

He's down at

the railroad

station.

- Oh.

- He went to meet the 12:10.

Well, that's the train

I came in on.

Oh, I must have missed him.

Yeah? Well, I

wonder

how he missed you.

[laughter]

Mike ought to be

along very soon now.

Denny, where are your manners?

Why don't you give the

lady

your seat?

Oh, I'm sorry, ma'am.

Won't you sit down, miss?

One of our very nicest chairs.

Go read your funny papers.

Mike's in a pretty

nasty

temper this morning.

- You're not kidding!

- Boy, is he..

Well, uh, what seems

to be the trouble?

He-he's going to get

the new owner of the

club.

- Well, i-is that bad?

- Bad? Ho-ho-ho!

Say, by the way,

on the trip down

you didn't run into

a fathead

named Higgins, did you?

- A-a little fathead?

- Yeah.

Yeah, some-some lame brain

from Providence, Rhode

Island.

Excuse me, but I have--

Yeah, you better wait

until Mike cools off.

Now-now, look, baby doll, uh,

just put yourself in my hands.

[clicks tongue]

Fast worker, that boy.

Just met her,

and he's rounding third.

Yeah, it's a sad

situation, miss.

Now, picture this,

here we are

the greatest team

in baseball, the champs

and this little fathead

from Providence

is gonna come down here

and teach us the game.

[chuckles]

How do you like that?

- Oh, it's very depressing.

- Yeah.

Don't ever be a ballplayer,

miss.

Well, I'll try to avoid it.

Look, uh, let's talk about you.

Uh, what are you doing

tonight after dinner?

Well, I-I hadn't made any..

- After dinner?

- Yeah.

How about stepping out a little?

Just the two of us, huh?

Well..

Aren't you ball players

supposed

to be in training?

Training? Who, me? Ha!

I don't believe in it.

- You don't say?

- Nah.

Well, uh, what time do

you

usually get in?

Well, uh, we're supposed

to be in by 10 o'clock

but, uh, well, it's alright

for the other fellas

but I usually get in

about midnight.

Oh, except, of course, when

I have an extra-special date.

Then I get in

about, uh, 2:00 or 3:00.

Tonight, I could

stay up till 5:00.

- Really?

- Mm-hm.

Well, won't Mr.

Gilhuly

get mad?

What I always say is,

what the boss

doesn't know doesn't hurt me.

[chuckles]

You get it, sister?

Oh, I get it, brother.

Oh, watch, here he is.

Uh, Mike, how are you, Mike?

I'd like you to meet a

friend

of mine, Miss, uh..

Higgins. K.C. Higgins.

I'm afraid I missed you

at the station.

- I'm sorry.

- That's alright.

We've had a very interesting

chat, Mr. O'Brien and I.

- Haven't we?

- Yeah.

We sure have, Miss Higgins.

Just call me fathead.

[indistinct chatter]

Take it easy, now, Eddie.

Aw! Pop-up!

What's bothering you, Ed?

You swing like a rusty gate.

- He's lost his batting eye.

- Yeah.

Mr. O'Brien, you're

stepping in the

bucket.

- How's that?

- I said..

You're stepping in the bucket.

Oh, thank you.

Maybe you'd like to come over

here and show me how to do it.

Well, if you won't mind..

I'd like to.

Uh, Slappy, would you get

me

the water bucket, please?

May I?

You see, Mr. O'Brien,

here's what's happening.

Instead of stepping

into the ball like this

you're stepping over here

and, uh, into the bucket. Hm?

Now, uh, let me

get this

straight.

Uh, when I stand at the

plate,

I'm like this, hmm?

No, I hold it

a little higher, up

here.

Up here, you see?

And while waiting for the

pitch,

I wiggle a little bit.

Like this.

Just to get myself set.

[stammers]

Yes. Yes,

I've noticed that.

- Now as the ball comes over..

- Uh-huh?

Try stepping into it as you

bring the bat back like..

Ow!

[laughter]

Sorry, Mr. O'Brien.

Would you try it, please?

Pitch to him, would you, Joe?

But easy on that arm.

Yeah, easy on the arm.

Okay.

Hey! What a poke!

Wow! That's four bases

in any ball park!

That's the idea, Eddie,

but don't try to kill them

all.

You know, Charlie Davis

of Cincinnati only hit 279

but he batted in a 102 runs.

Why don't you get

Charlie Davis?

Cut the cracks, Eddie.

Oh, Mr. Gilhuly

I-I seem to have

taken over your

job.

Ha! Not at all, Miss Higgins.

Not at all.

I'm sorry.

Please forgive

me.

I'll see you

back at the

hotel.

Fine. Alright.

Let's get busy in there.

Get around now. Come on, Davis.

You're up.

- Come on.

- Alright, Denny boy..

[indistinct chatter]

- Come on. boys.

- Alright now get a hold of

one!

- Hey!

- Hey, look out!

Gee! Ain't that somethin'?

She's the kind of girl

I've always dreamed about.

Wouldn't it be wonderful

to be married

to a girl who played baseball?

Gee!

[clamoring]

Yeah, I remember this time

last season

we were playing Scranton.

- Yeah?

- Great town. Great town!

Well, anyway, there's a

dame

there named Maxine

who's kind of sweet on me

a very refined,

artistic little

chick

with plenty on the ball.

A cooch dancer

from the circus.

That's what I mean!

Hey, Goldberg,

give me the

bread.

Anyway, this minx

is really warm for

me

and one night she's walking

me

home after the show.

And all of a sudden, I hear

a flute playing a cooch

dance

you know, like this..

[humming cooch tune]

- Good evening, boys.

- Good evening.

- Evening, Miss Higgins.

- Hello, Denny.

Sit down.

What do you think it

is,

a formal affair?

She gonna eat with us, too?

Hey, watch your

language, fellas

and your table manners, too.

Gee, she called me Denny.

This may not be such

a good idea, Miss

Higgins.

You're kind of

cramping

their style.

Yeah. They're not used

to eating with skirts.

I-I mean ladies.

Look, Mike, the sooner they

get

used to seeing me around

the better it's going

to be for all of us.

Yes, ma'am.

Uh, would someone be so kind as

to pass me the bread, please?

- Yes, indeed.

- With pleasure.

Thank you.

Mind your manners.

[slurping]

- Shh!

- What's the matter?

I had my pinkie out, didn't I?

Temper, Mr. Zalinka.

Temper, temper!

Have you boys

seen the fashion page

in this week's

"Vanity Fair?"

[gasps]

Well, there's

the cutest pair of pants

with a pegged top

and a narrow bottom..

[gasps]

If you'll pardon

the expression, and there's--

Hey, Eddie, look, we're

plastered all over the paper!

- Hey! Pretty nice!

- What's it say?

- Yeah, what's it say?

- What's it say?

- Yeah, what's it say?

- Shall we tell 'em?

- Shall we?

- By all means.

♪ O'Brien ♪

♪ To Ryan ♪

♪ To Goldberg ♪

♪ What a great double play! ♪

♪ The other team never

can get to score ♪

♪ In every inning ♪

♪ We keep 'em

from winning ♪

♪ Each time that they try

for a rally ♪

♪ That's when we

save the day ♪

♪ Someone's on first,

and the game is in doubt ♪

♪ The guy up at bat

hits a tenable clout ♪

♪ The dust clears away

and they're both of them out ♪

♪ O'Brien ♪

♪ To Ryan ♪

♪ To Goldberg ♪

♪ O'Brien ♪

♪ To Ryan ♪

♪ To Goldberg ♪

♪ Packs 'em into the park ♪

♪ The crowds in the bleachers

are there at dawn ♪

♪ They treat us royal ♪

♪ Gee whiz

but they're loyal ♪

♪ One game lasted 17 innings ♪

♪ It was way after dark ♪

♪ We couldn't see

a darn thing anymore ♪

♪ We thought that the crowd

had gone home good and sore ♪

♪ When out of the black

came a deafening roar ♪

♪ O'Brien to Ryan

to Goldberg ♪

♪ Who is the guy

who scoops up the ball ♪

♪ And whips it

to second base? ♪

♪ O'Brien ♪

♪ O'Brien O'Brien

O'Brien O'Brien ♪

♪ O'Brien O'Brien

O'Brien O'Brien ♪

♪ O'Brien O'Brien

O'Brien O'Brien ♪

♪ O'Brien O'Brien

O'Brien ♪

♪ And who is the guy

who sends on the pill ♪

♪ To first at an awful pace? ♪

♪ Ryan ♪

♪ Ryan Ryan Ryan Ryan ♪

♪ Ryan Ryan Ryan Ryan ♪

♪ Ryan Ryan Ryan Ryan ♪

♪ Ryan Ryan Ryan ♪

♪ And who is the guy

who tags 'em at first ♪

♪ With a pitying look

on his face? ♪

♪ Mrs. Goldberg's baby boy ♪

♪ Hi hi hi hi ♪

♪ Hey ♪

♪ Goldberg Goldberg

that's the boy for us ♪

♪ Hi hi hi hi ♪

♪ Hey ♪

♪ My mother always wanted me

to play the violin ♪

[violin music]

♪ That dainty

little instrument ♪

♪ Just didn't fit my chin ♪

♪ The night of my recital

I played Ich Liebe Du ♪

[violin music]

♪ When suddenly,

a voice rang out ♪

"Hey, throw that cat a fish!"

♪ And then a ripe tomato

was hurled in rude attack ♪

♪ I swung my fiddle wildly

and batted it right back ♪

♪ That moment started off

my new career ♪

♪ And now the sweetest music

to my ear ♪

♪ Is ♪

♪ O'Brien to Ryan

to Goldberg ♪

♪ What they all come to see ♪

♪ Shortstop to second

and then to first ♪

♪ Just 1-2-3,

oh the unholy trio ♪

♪ The way that we move

on the diamond ♪

♪ It is sheer poetry ♪

♪ Winning the games

from the spring to the fall

♪

♪ It's just

all for one ♪

♪ And it's just

one for all ♪

♪ The three musketeers

of the bat and the ball ♪

♪ O'Brien ♪

♪ Hey ♪

♪ To Ryan ♪

♪ Hey ♪

♪ To Gold ♪

♪ Hey ♪

♪ Berg ♪

♪ Hey hey! ♪♪

[applause]

[laughter]

Hey, how about a game of

checkers before we hit the

hay?

- Checkers? That's for

firemen.

- Firemen?

That's for ballplayers, too

if you know what's good for you.

I know what's good for me.

Don't lock the door.

I'll be in around 2:00.

Uh, Mike, what's the

fine

for breaking training?

Twenty five dollars. Why?

Well, let's make

it

50, shall we?

The little dears do

need

their rest, you know.

How much money

have you got on you?

Well, in round

figures,

exactly 38 cents.

You?

Checkers.

- I didn't say nothing.

- That's a quarter you owe me.

You know, this

could

go on all season.

- What's eating him, anyway?

- The call of the wild,

junior.

- The call of the wild.

- Oh, that.

Something's gotta be done!

Something's gotta be done!

Wow! Hey, fellas!

[clicks

tongue]

Take a look.

[KC humming]

- Beautiful, isn't she?

- Yeah.

Not bad for a dame who can

field a hot grounder.

♪ Dum de da da da dee dum ♪

♪ Dum de da da the crowd ♪

♪ Buy me some peanuts

and Cracker Jack ♪

♪ I don't care

if I never get back ♪

♪ Let me root root root

for the home team ♪

♪ If they don't win

it's a shame ♪

♪ 'Cause it's one two

three strikes you're out ♪

♪ At the old ball game ♪

♪ On two

three strikes you're out ♪

♪ At the old ball game ♪♪

[snaps]

Boys, I've got it.

This is what we do.

First, we..

Hey, fellas!

Come here.

Hey, come here.

There's one way

we can break training

without getting into a jam.

- How's that?

- Take her out on a date.

We'll get two other girls,

and we'll go stepping.

Denny, I've got a hunch

that girl is human.

- No.

- Yes!

And guess who

she's crazy about.

- You!

- Me, personally? You think

so?

Sure, Denny, this is it.

If she's a dame,

she wants romance.

And she's a dame.

Denny, here's your chance.

A touch of the hand,

a subtle caress

a few tender little nothings

whispered in the moonlight.

Aw! Denny, it's up to you.

But I don't know any

tender little nothings, Ed.

It's been my experience

the athletic-type

girl like Higgins

might go

for the caveman approach

like this, "Come here!"

[grunting]

Wham!

Handle her rough, Denny.

Rough, huh?

No. No.

Well, what do you

want me to do?

First go out

on that

balcony.

Let her see you. Then let

nature take its course.

Be nonchalant.

But I don't know

about nonchalant

and things like that.

Oi, sit on the rail.

Look up at the moon.

- Hm?

- Look up at the moon.

Okay. Never mind the moon.

Never mind the moon.

Well, make up your mind.

Attract her attention.

Cough.

[coughing]

Shh! Softly, you dope.

[coughing]

- Hello, Denny!

- Uh, hello, Miss Higgins.

Katherine's the name.

Uh, hello, Katherine.

What do I do next?

What did you say, Denny?

I said, what do I do now..

I mean..

Talk to her.

Say something.

- Go down and talk to her.

- How can I get there?

- Go get down the tree.

- The tree?

The tree. Go down..

Go on. Don't stop now.

[Katherine laughs]

Well!

- Hello, Miss Higgins.

- Katherine.

Katherine. It's a lovely

night,

ain't it?

Yes, it is, Denny.

And that's a great big moon,

ain't it?

Yes, it certainly is.

It's a lovely moon.

How's that?

I said it's a lovely moon.

Oh, yes.

Did you ever stop to think

that a-a lovely night like

this

and a, and a great big moon

and a-a girl like, uh..

The right girl, Denny.

Oh, sure. Sure.

How would you be able

to tell, Denny?

Oh, I could tell.

- Right away?

- Mm-hm.

Right from the very first time.

♪ I'll hear heavenly music ♪

♪ I'll hear bells

start to chime ♪

♪ I'll hear thunder

and I'll be struck with wonder

♪

♪ But I won't have to look

a second time ♪

♪ If her voice is a song ♪

♪ And her walk is a dance ♪

♪ And if her laugh

is warm and free ♪

♪ If I suddenly seem ♪

♪ To be seeing a dream ♪

♪ She's the right girl

for me ♪

♪ If the glow in her eyes

and the light in her smile ♪

♪ Could charm a bird

right off a tree ♪

♪ I'll be charmed as a bird ♪

♪ And I'll know in a word ♪

♪ She's the right girl

for me ♪

♪ She'll have a simple

sweet appeal ♪

♪ That wins my affection ♪

♪ She'll be the kind

who'll make me feel ♪

♪ She needs my protection ♪

♪ If the sight of her face ♪

♪ And the touch of her hand ♪

♪ Can make me happy

as can be ♪

♪ If my heart says come in ♪

♪ Darling where have you been ♪

♪ She's the right girl

for me ♪

♪ She's the right girl ♪

♪ For me ♪♪

That was beautiful,

Denny,

beautiful.

Gee, Miss Higgins,

you're wonderful.

Th-the way you picked up that

grounder was just wonde--

[laughs]

Denny!

Hey! The kid's alright.

Yeah. It's gonna be

a gay social season.

Say, there's some little

red books in my drawer.

Get me volume three.

Volume three.

One...three. Yipe! Wow!

Here, give me that. Now look,

we'll get two other girls.

That'll make it a party of six

till we get to town

then it's every man

for himself.

Let's see now..

Alice, Stella..

Hey, how about Stella?

- Nothing.

- Nothing, huh?

Jessie Davis, I think

she owned a horse and Buggy.

Eddie, I don't think

we're going out

tonight.

What do you mean?

There's the bag.

Come on now. Hit it hard.

- You're out!

- Got you.

See if you can get it.

Hold on a sec. I got it.

- Ooh!

- Out!

Oh, that's fun, Denny

but, gee, it is

getting

a little late.

I think I'd better

be going.

Goodnight.

Goodnight.

Of all the stu..

He's probably coming back

for his baseball bat.

What a spot for

a pinch hitter.

Pinch hitter? Oh, no, not me.

I'm poison to her.

We got to get out of

here.

The social season.

The little red

book,

remember?

Attaboy.

She's wonderful!

She's beautiful!

Did you see her figure?

Did we see her figure?

Hey! Wait a minute!

What are you gonna do?

Taking up where you left off!

Fine pal he turned out to be.

Come on.

Quit

worrying.

He's just gonna fix

it up

for you.

He is, Nat? Really?

[humming]

♪ If I suddenly seem

to be seeing a dream ♪

♪ She's the right girl

for me ♪♪

Who is it?

It's me! O'Brien!

May I come up?

I hope you'll pardon me,

Miss Higgins, but I..

Well, there's

something

on my mind, and I..

- Well..

- Yes?

I'd like to

apologize

for, uh, well..

For everything

that's happened,

I..

I've been behaving

like

an idiot, haven't I?

- Yes, you have.

- Mm.

Well, I just wanted

you

to know I was sorry.

- Fine. Was there anything

else?

- What?

'Cause it's getting

kind of late.

Oh, Miss Higgins,

don't go in yet.

- Well, why not?

- Well, uh..

- Don't spoil it.

- Spoil what?

Well, uh, the whole picture.

The-the moonlight on the ocean

and the-the garden and the night

and, uh, you on a balcony.

Why, Mr. O'Brien, you're very

poetic for a shortstop.

Call me Edward.

Edward.

By the way, uh, what will I

call

you, Miss, uh, K.C. Higgins?

[laughs]

Well, no.

What does the K stand for?

- Katherine.

- Katherine? That's nice.

What does the C stand for?

- Catherine.

- Ca..

Two Katherines?

They, uh, couldn't

decide

which way to spell it

so they named you twice.

Oh-ho-ho!

[laughs]

That's right.

You sure they're

talking about me, Nat?

Positive. They're

laughing, aren't

they?

Yeah. The..

Look, uh, Katherine

Catherine,

we're wasting time.

Why don't we go for a stroll

on

the beach in the moonlight?

Well, don't you think

it's a little late?

- No.

- Well, I do.

Oh. Well, uh, how

about

tomorrow night?

Perhaps, but you'd

better go now, huh?

Okay.

Oh, the stairs, please.

[chuckles]

Goodnight.

Goodnight and uh,

sweet dreams, baby doll.

Kissing her hand, the dirty

double-crossing rat!

Calm down, will you?

He's just kissing her for you.

Then what,

I suppose she'll kiss him

then he'll come back

and kiss me, huh?

Well, I know I won't

like it. The dirty..

Oh, Edward!

Yes!

You broke training tonight

just to speak to me.

You risked a fine.

I'd risk my life.

You would?

Well, then, I'm sure

you won't mind.

Mind what?

It's going to cost you

50 bucks, baby doll.

'Goodnight.'

He's only

trying

to help you.

Looks like

he's helping himself.

Wise guy, ain't you?

Trying to beat my time, huh!

- Forget her, will you,

Denny?

- Forget, my eye!

You climbed the wrong

balcony

this time!

- Go away!

- Put up your dukes!

Oh, oh, gee, Denny! Gee, you

walked right into it. I'm--

Hey! What's all this noise

about?

You guys should be in be..

Hey!

- What's the matter with him?

- Well, nothin', I..

They were just showing me

their new vaudeville act.

Yeah, the new vaudeville act.

Yeah.

"Romeo, Romeo, wherefore

art thou, Romeo?" Uh..

"Deny thy father

and refuse thy name.

"If thou wilt not

be but sworn, my love

and I no longer be

a cap.. a cap.."

Go to bed, Goldberg,

and you, too, Juliet!

[dramatic music]

[music continues]

Alright, boys!

That's it! Come on!

[dramatic music]

What's going on

out there, Mike?

Oh, the boys like to

do

a little clowning

once in a while.

They do it before every

game.

The fans eat it up.

[laughing]

Looks like the Senators to me,

Joe. Got the right odds.

Three to two.

I'll take $2,000 worth.

You got it, Nick.

Who's that skinny little runt?

Denny Ryan,

the second baseman.

Gee, he's cute.

And so active

for a little fella.

[crowd laughing]

[whistles]

What you doing?

[dramatic music]

[crowd cheering]

Hey, Denny! Hiya!

Pleased to meet you.

My name's Shirley.

Hey, what's the

matter?

Didn't you like it?

I don't like to mix

clowning with baseball.

Maybe I ought

to give up

baseball

and stick to clowning.

Mr. President, would you

mind posing with this big

stick?

Thank you, sir.

Alright, boys.

De-lighted.

[dramatic music]

Put a nice one

in there now.

[crowd cheering]

Get back! Get back!

Safe!

Alright, nice work, Nat.

Alright!

Hit 'em around now,

boys!

Hit 'em around now!

'Come on, boys!'

Strike.

- Would you like my opinion?

- Play ball!

- Strike.

- Hey! What's the matter?

You blind?

Keep your eyes open!

Watch them, you robber!

Cut it out, O'Brien.

- Cut what out?

- Riding the umpire.

Miss Higgins says

you-you're antagonizing him.

So what? He's an

umpire,

ain't he?

Guess she's afraid

we'll hurt his feelings.

[crowd cheering]

Slide that!

Safe!

That's the old boy!

Way to go!

Now we're going!

He looks like

the winning run.

It's one out, and he's still

a long way from home.

(male #1)

'Alright! Hit 'em around now,

boys! Hit 'em around!'

- Strike!

- What?

O'Brien,

lay off the umpire!

[chuckling]

Oh, so sorry. I almost

lost

my temper, sir.

You'll pardon

the suggestion,

sir

but I have a cousin

in the optical trade

who can get you the

finest

pair of spectacles

wholesale. Bifocals, too.

Play ball!

Yeah, why don't you give that

big mouth of yours a rest?

I beg your pardon, but I was

not

addressing you, stupid.

- Ball!

- Oh, thank you, sir.

Even you could see that.

Come on! Come on!

[indistinct chatter]

Hit the dirt!

- You're out!

- What?

- Boo!

- Boo!

- Boo!

- But I was safe for a mile!

- I say you're out!

- And I say you're a liar.

Of all the dirty, rotten,

low-down decisions

that's the worst

I've ever seen!

- You big, blind robber!

- Are you gonna take that?

Miss Higgins, you don't

belong

on this field.

Umpires always know

best,

Miss Higgins.

You've been calling them

wrong all day

you-you-you big burglar, you!

That's a very

libelous remark, sir.

I don't have to listen to

that.

Get off the field!

You can't put me off!

Oh, yes, you can, can't you?

Get off.

And you're fined

$50.

Well, I'm not going to pay

it,

you crook, you thief!

- You robber--

- Make it a 100.

A $100!

And you keep out of this!

- Hey, you, what did I say?

- Play ball!

Cert-certainly, sir.

- Ball!

- What?

Shut up, you, or I'll

put you off the field, too.

That was right over

the plate.

I couldn't even reach

that

with Teddy's big stick.

Well, you could use it to

match

that big head of yours.

- What did you say?

- You heard me.

Your ears don't lap over.

Your nose don't either,

but I could arrange it.

- Yeah?

- Yeah.

- Yeah?

- Play ball!

Hey! Hey, Ryan!

Come back!

- Yeah!

- Hey, don't..

What do you wanna start

something, buddy?

- Sure!

- Hey!

Knock it off.

Knock it off! Play ball!

[clamoring]

He's hurt!

They'll trample

him!

Jimmy, give me the ball!

You're out!

(Shirley)

Give him air! He's hurt.

Break it up!

Break it up!

Alright, boys, the game is over.

Twenty seven, twenty

eight,

twenty nine..

- There's 3,000.

- Better luck next time,

Joe.

Well, the season's just started.

[laughing]

Well, look who's here!

Easy, now. There.

Poor kid.

He's out

cold.

Here, I'll make him come around.

Why, you!

Gee, I didn't know you were

stuck on the guy.

Who's stuck on him?

I ain't stuck on

him.

It's just

the mother

instinct.

That's what it

is,

the mother

instinct.

Hey, you.

Let me have

that.

Well, he's a nice-looking

little fella.

Bring him over to the cafe

sometime if he ever wakes up.

He's waking up

now.

Denny!

- Denny?

- Mr. Ryan!

Denny, Denny, what happened?

Are you alright?

Who are you, anyway?

- She owns him.

- What?

She owns me, too.

Can you do that?

What, what happened to me?

Who are you?

- Me? I'm--

- She wants to be your mother.

She wants to be my..

I'll have to take it up

with my father.

[laughing]

[instrumental music]

Hey!

♪ It's time

you made your mind up ♪

♪ Not to stall with me ♪

♪ Start playing

ball with me ♪

♪ Your future isn't

changeable or shapeable ♪

♪ It's inescapable ♪

♪ If you should run to China

or to Turkey or Sweden ♪

♪ Or Herzegovina

or Mars ♪

♪ It wouldn't matter

where you'd be ♪

♪ A force would pull

you back to me ♪

♪ It's written

in the stars ♪

♪ It's fate baby

it's fate ♪

♪ And it's knocking

at our door ♪

♪ It's fate baby

and that's the reason ♪

♪ You're mine

and I am yours ♪

♪ Don't wait baby

don't wait ♪

♪ It'll happen anyhow ♪

♪ Don't wait baby

to do next season ♪

♪ What you can do

right now ♪

♪ There's a plan for

every woman and every man ♪

♪ Each was made

for the other ♪

♪ Don't treat me

like a brother ♪

♪ Too late baby

too late ♪

♪ So accept your destiny ♪

♪ It's fate baby ♪

♪ That you were meant

to fall ♪

♪ In love with me ♪

[instrumental music]

♪ I've gone and studied up

on my astrology ♪

♪ I'm really knowledgy ♪

♪ It doesn't matter

if you are Aquarius ♪

♪ Or Sagittarius ♪

♪ Or Gemini or Scorpio

or Taurus the bull ♪

♪ Capricornus or

Pisces the fish ♪

♪ Winter summer

spring or fall ♪

♪ As long as you were

born at all ♪

♪ Mister

you're my dish ♪

♪ It's fate baby

it's fate ♪

♪ Can't I even

put up a fuss? ♪

♪ It's fate baby

the stars have written ♪

♪ That you and me is us ♪

♪ It's right baby

so right ♪

♪ I can see it

in the cards ♪

♪ Don't fight baby

take off that mitten ♪

♪ 'Cause you and me

is pards ♪

♪ Listen Mack it's all

arranged in the zodiac ♪

♪ Got you coming

and going ♪

♪ Hey bud

your future's showing ♪

♪ Too late baby

too late ♪

♪ This feeling in me stirs ♪

♪ It's fate baby

so let's start buying towels

♪

♪ Marked his and hers ♪♪

[train chugging]

[instrumental music]

[crowd cheering]

[train chugging]

[music continues]

[crowd cheering]

[music continues]

[instrumental music]

Yoo-hoo!

Denny! Denny!

Come here. I want

to talk to you.

I'm sorry.

I'm very busy

now.

Why doesn't she

leave me alone?

I got to see

you

just for a

minute.

I can't now.

I'm busy.

Denny, why don't you

talk to the lady?

She ain't no lady, she's been

sending me candy and flowers

and she's been

writing

me and phoning me.

What does she want

from me? Gee whiz!

Hey! you can't drive a horse

up on the sidewalk.

- Denny!

- Shirley.

- You crazy or something?

- You come here, Denny!

What are you, what are you

running away for?

- What's the matter with you?

- She just wants to mother

you.

What, with a whip in her hand?

What are you crazy or

something?

You bad boy, I got a good

notion

to take you on my knee.

You mean over

your knee, don't

you?

I know what I mean.

What do you want

with me, anyway?

I got an invitation for you,

all of you, the whole team!

- Oh?

- You, too, I guess.

An invitation to what?

Joe Lorgan's

throwing a big party

Saturday night after the game,

down at Gibby's Wharf.

And he wants the whole team

to come.

Well, I don't know.

Are you afraid the boys

might enjoy themselves?

Oh, you'll love it.

There will be beer

and food, music

and dancing and clams!

A clambake!

Well, look

away!

- Look away!

- Look away!

♪ Look away! Look away! ♪

♪ It's a lovely day

today in the USA ♪

♪ Like a great big

strawberry shortcake ♪

♪ Or a turkey

on Thanksgiving Day ♪

♪ Like the 4th of July ♪

♪ Or apple pie ♪

♪ It's strictly USA ♪

♪ Like a hot dog

covered with mustard ♪

♪ Or an amateur

hometown play ♪

♪ Like a circus parade ♪

♪ Or lemonade ♪

♪ It's strictly USA ♪

♪ Go to a picnic ♪

♪ Go to a clambake ♪

♪ Go to a barn dance ♪

♪ Or county fair ♪

♪ You'll see

the happy residents ♪

♪ Raising kids to be

the future presidents ♪

♪ Take a man

like Abraham Lincoln ♪

♪ Take a state like Iowa ♪

♪ Take

a sugar-cured ham ♪

♪ A candied yam ♪

♪ Or take your favorite

Uncle Sam ♪

♪ And shout

a big hooray! ♪

♪ It's strictly ♪

♪ USA ♪

♪ You never can

know a country ♪

♪ Till you know

the folks ♪

♪ See 'em in their

native locales ♪

♪ If you want to see young

acorns growing into oaks ♪

♪ You gotta see

the fellas and gals ♪

♪ And as the sweetest

extra-special ♪

♪ Bunch of merchandise ♪

♪ The all-American gal

wins the prize ♪

[tapping]

[instrumental music]

♪ The all-American man

is a hunk of man ♪

♪ He's a handyman

in a pinch ♪

♪ And maybe he can't

make love like Aladdin can ♪

♪ Still he's quite

a guy in a clinch ♪

♪ The all-American fella

wears a coat of high finance ♪

♪ But the all-American girl

wears the pants ♪

[tapping]

♪ Like the bell

on a little red schoolhouse ♪

♪ Or a vote

on election day ♪

♪ Like a brass spittoon

or Daniel Boone ♪

♪ It's strictly USA ♪

Back east,

it's "Hey, bud."

Down south,

it's "Hi, y'all."

Cowboys say "Howdy."

Injuns say "How."

♪ No matter where

you're meetin' folks ♪

♪ It's the real American way

of greetin' folks ♪

♪ Take a gallery

of Bingham ♪

♪ Take an oyster

from Chesapeake bay ♪

♪ Take our ice-cream cones ♪

♪ Or Casey Jones ♪

♪ Take Mr. Tambo

and Mr. Bones ♪

♪ They're really here

to stay ♪

♪ 'Cause it's strictly ♪

♪ USA ♪♪

- Yay!

- Yay!

[cheering]

[instrumental music]

So we're entertaining

a bunch of ballplayers.

Well, I don't get it.

Another thing I don't get

these boys are a cinch

to win the pennant.

You switched and bet

a chunk of dough against them.

Well I happen to like the

odds.

They're 4-to-1.

- Yeah, but they're

unbeatable.

- Yeah.

So was one-round Doug until he

was knocked cold in the second.

You know that fight

was fixed! You, yourself--

You don't say.

You sure need

fattening up.

Oh, I don't

need anything.

Just bones.

She don't feed you

enough, that one.

- What one?

- The one that owns you.

She doesn't own me,

and she feeds me plenty.

Then she ought

to change your formula.

- Is she your girl?

- Yes. No.

I-I mean, I don't know.

If I was your girl,

you'd know.

Some people just

never appreciate.

Appreciate what?

Oh, just appreciate.

You know, Dennis,

come to think of it

she's really not

your type girl at all.

Look, will you do me a

favor

and don't think about it?

She's wonderful.

Sometimes a person thinks

a person is his type of person

and all of a sudden he meets

another type person

who turns out to be

really his type person.

You know what I mean?

No, and I

don't

believe you.

Beside when, when the right one

comes along, I'll know.

I'll wait.

Say, uh, what's

with

you and Denny

or am I too personal?

Well, yes, you

are.

Much too.

Well, I have a reason

for wanting to know

a personal reason.

Oh?

You've been

keeping me awake nights.

I have?

You have.

- Indirectly, of course.

- Well..

Denny talks about you

in his sleep

keeps waking me up.

Oh.

Like last night,

for instance.

All of a sudden,

he woke up yelling

"slide, Katherine, slide."

Denny even dreams

baseball.

He wasn't dreaming

about baseball.

How do you know?

Because when I leaned over

to wake him up

he embraced me, like this..

...and then

he kissed me like this.

You're-you're right.

It couldn't have

been about

baseball.

That's what I said.

(Goldberg)

Okay, Eddie, okay.

Boy, I got to hand it

to you. You win.

Win what, Nat?

Oh, uh, nothing,

Miss Higgins.

Come on, Nat.

What is it? Tell

me.

Oh, something personal

between us.

I bet him a dollar that I'd

kiss

you before the dance was over.

You know something, Eddie?

Sometimes I don't get you.

- Sometimes I don't get

myself.

- What did you tell her for?

- I didn't intend to.

- Then why did you?

Because she's got poor Denny

crazy about her

and she doesn't care

that much about him.

How do you know?

From the way

she kissed me.

Say, uh, you're kind of

mixed-up, ain't you, fella?

Yeah. kind of.

[instrumental music]

- Gee. At last.

- At last what, Denny?

Oh, you know, Katherine.

You must know.

Oh, no-no, Denny.

Please.

Honest, Katherine, from the

minute you picked that grounder

and threw to third,

I-I knew it was love.

- No, Denny.

- No?

I-It's just that I don't want

you to build up any false

hopes.

I like you very

much,

Denny, but, well..

Oh, you mean, maybe

when the season's over, huh?

Or after

we win the pennant?

Well, we'll-we'll

talk about it then.

Oh, good.

Denny, Denny,

will you do me a favor?

Well, sure.

Will you kiss me

right now, hard?

Kiss you now?

Here? Now?

Right here.

No kick in it, huh?

No. I'm sorry, Denny.

I'm really sorry.

Oh, sure, it's

alright.

I understand.

Sometimes a person

thinks a person

is her type of

person,

and all of a sudden

she finds that-that person's

really not her type of person

but another one

is her type of

person.

It doesn't always

work that way, Denny.

- It doesn't always work?

- Mm-mmm.

What are you doing

spying on me?

Who's spying?

I was just

watching.

Some people just

never appreciate.

Come here, you.

Well, come here.

Kiss me.

[music continues]

Have any kick in it?

Uh-huh.

Good.

I was beginning

to worry a little bit.

[music continues]

Hello, Shirley.

Hi.

[music continues]

[applause]

Oh, Dennis, you shouldn't

have kissed me

in front of all

these people.

Look.

[instrumental music]

Hey, what's wrong with

Mrs. O'Briens boy Eddie?

Heart trouble. It looks like

heart trouble to me.

Sure, what kind of an Irish

lad

that can sit here

while fiddlers are fiddling,

fifes are fifing

and colleens smiling

like it was their wedding

night?

Well, you should be

leaping in the air

knocking your heels together!

Doing the handsome proud.

Come on.

- Come on!

- This way..

[music continues]

[tapping]

[laughing]

Go to it,

Michael, me boy!

Fine, fine.

The Gilhulys were the greatest

dancers in all Ireland!

[claps]

[music continues]

This is the step

me uncle taught me

the night of the big wind.

[crowd cheering]

Now you can see

why the O'Briens

were the first kings

of Ireland.

[cheering]

Little hoofer,

that O'Brien.

Not a bad shortstop,

either.

Ah, that infield

wouldn't be

much good without him.

[instrumental music]

Where did you

get that hat?

Where did you

get that hat?

♪ Where did you

get that hat? ♪

♪ Where did you

get that hat? ♪

♪ Folks ask me every day ♪

♪ Isn't it a nifty one

you often hear them say ♪

♪ Put it on it's funny ♪

♪ Can't you see

the people smile? ♪

♪ It keeps me busy

tellin' them ♪

♪ The history

of this tile ♪

♪ It's the hat ♪

♪ Me dear old father wore ♪

♪ Upon St. Patrick's day ♪

♪ Now talk about respect ♪

♪ With his head erect ♪

♪ As he marched down

old Broadway ♪

♪ Sure not a man in line

looked half as fine ♪

♪ Me dear old mother

used to say ♪

♪ As your father did

in his old-time lid ♪

♪ Upon St. Patrick's day ♪

♪ It's the hat

me dear old father wore ♪

♪ Upon St. Patrick's day ♪

♪ Talk about respect ♪

♪ With his head erect ♪

♪ As he marched down

old Broadway ♪

♪ Sure not a man in line

looked half as fine ♪

♪ Me dear old mother

used to say ♪

♪ As your ♪

♪ Father did

in his old-time lid ♪

♪ Upon St. Patrick's day ♪

Hey!

[instrumental music]

[tapping]

[tapping]

[instrumental music]

[instrumental music]

♪ It's the hat

me dear old father wore ♪

♪ Upon St. Patrick's day ♪

♪ Talk about respect ♪

♪ With his head erect ♪

♪ As he marched down

old Broadway ♪

♪ Not a man in line

looked half as fine ♪

♪ Me dear old mother

used to say ♪

♪ Than your father did

in his old-time lid ♪

♪ Upon St. Patrick's day ♪♪

[tapping]

[tapping]

[music continues]

[crowd cheering]

What a wonderful night.

What a wonderful clambake.

The most wonderful

clambake there ever was.

Yeah. Wonderful.

What's eating you?

Oh, as if I didn't

know.

Look, I told you, I'm not

interested in Katherine.

You got a clear

field.

She's not my type.

She's not my type, either.

Forget it.

Sure, I'll forget it

but you

can't

forget it.

Why don't you

quit

fighting it, Ed?

After all, Katherine

is beautiful and

smart--

And she's got

a great throwing arm.

Great throwing arm?

You just didn't

look

any further.

Remember the night we saw her

swimming in the pool?

- Remember?

- No.

"No," he says.

In that gold

bathing suit.

Mmm..

Hey, you're drooling.

[chuckles]

Yeah, but Shirley 's my type.

Yeah, she's kind of

timid

and sort of shy.

You should have seen me

sweep her off her feet.

That's what they

like,

the rough stuff.

Yes, siree. You got

to treat them rough.

Cave man stuff.

Yeah. They like

that cave man

stuff.

So she hits me over the head

with her own club

slings me over

her shoulder

carries me out of the cave

into the woods.

Then what did you do?

I don't know.

I was unconscious.

You dope, you missed

the best part of the

dream.

You think so?

[knock on door]

- Good morning.

- Oh, hello, boys.

Hello, Mr. Lorgan,

how are you?

Fine. I'd like to have

a little chat with you,

Eddie.

Say, I'm gonna get a newspaper.

I'll be back in few minutes.

Oh, would you have a

chair,

Mr. Lorgan?

- Oh, thanks.

- What's on your mind?

You know, I liked the way

you handled yourself

last night at the clambake.

Yes, sir,

I liked it a lot.

Oh, thank you, Mr. Lorgan,

but what are you leading up

to?

Oh, a job.

I'm thinking of

opening up a cafe

big, swanky place

for the carriage trade.

You know, I could use

you in the show.

Gee, that's swell,

but, uh, what about

Dennis?

He's my partner, you know.

Oh, I think

we can work that out.

Good. How much

will you pay?

Well, you've been getting

a lot of publicity lately.

I can double your last

Vaudeville salary.

- It's a deal.

- Good. When can you start?

Well, not until after

the baseball season's

over.

Oh, not till then?

Oh, no, you don't think I

could

walk out now, do you?

We practically got

the pennant

cinched.

Well, I'm not interested

in baseball.

You see, I got a big chorus

of girls waiting

ready to start to rehearse.

Thirty of them.

Gee, 30 girls.

Yeah. A bevy of beauties.

Well, I'm sorry

you can't make it.

Oh, wait a minute. Look.

Couldn't you hold

off

for a while?

The baseball

season's

practically over.

I'll tell you

what I'll do.

Well, you gonna be

in town for a while?

Sure. The season

finishes here.

Well, couldn't you arrange

to get away

at nights for rehearsals?

No, no, I couldn't do that.

Well, then there's no use

in talking anymore.

- So long, Eddie.

- Wait a minute!

Look, I'll do it, but..

I'll do it,

but keep it quiet, will

you?

Oh, sure. I wouldn't want

to get you in a jam.

I'll tell you what I'll do,

I'll call you tomorrow.

And let you know

when we start rehearsals.

- Yeah.

- So long.

So long.

- So long, fellas.

- So long.

How do you know

it will work?

With Eddie?

Oh, it's a cinch.

You just see his face

when I told him

there were going to be

30 chorus girls, 30 of them?

[laughs]

Look what one dame

did to a guy named Samson.

Who was he, a fighter?

So, you see, I'm all set.

I'll get the act framed

and then when

the season's over, you're

in.

Of course, I'll have

to sneak out every

night.

You'll cover up

for me, won't

you?

What else can I do?

I'm your pal, ain't I?

Attaboy.

You can't rehearse all night

and play ball the next day,

Eddie.

Why, with a few bad breaks,

we can lose the pennant.

Quit worrying, will

you?

I can handle it.

I'm in great shape.

[instrumental music]

[crowd booing]

[music continues]

Pass me the milk,

will you, Ed?

"Wolves continue slump

in game with Chicago.

"The wolves dropped another

game today to Chicago

"who swept

to a 6-5

victory

"aided by a flurry

of last-inning hits

and three

startling

errors by.."

By shortstop

Eddie O'Brien!

Go ahead. Read it!

What's gotten into him,

anyway?

The kid's lost his pep,

no coordination, no zip.

He plays like

a tired old man.

Ah, he ain't tired.

He's been hitting the

hay

early every night.

In fact, too early.

Yes, that's very

unusual for O'Brien.

- I should say so.

- Something's eating him.

Well, what do the other boys

say? Have they got any ideas?

Well, no, not exactly.

Well, come on.

What is it?

Oh, it's

nothing.

It's nothing.

Look, boys, if O'Brien

stays in this slump

we can kiss

the pennant good-bye.

So, if you have any ideas,

open up. Come on.

Tell her, Slappy.

Well, uh, it's really

got two angles, see?

You, well, you

take,

like, a racehorse.

He's going great,

winning every out

but all of a sudden, well,

he really starts looking

around.

He's getting restless. See?

What has O'Brien

got to be restless about?

Well, it's like Slappy says

you take that racehorse.

When he starts

looking around

he's looking

at another nag.

Yeah. With a

ribbon

in her hair.

That sounds like

a pretty silly reason

for losing ball games

but if O'Brien wants

to chase the girls, let him.

Who's stopping him?

As long as he keeps

decent hours.

Well? Oh, oh, yes.

That other angle.

What else is bothering

our little racehorse?

- You.

- Me?

Miss Higgins,

you're the other

nag.

- I'm the--

- Hm-hmm.

Really?

Oh, so you want me

to play up to O'Brien

so we'll win the pennant,

is that it?

Can you think of

a better reason?

No. No, of course not.

But personally,

I'm-I'm only interested

in his batting average.

Look, Joe, I can't

rehearse all night

and play ball

in the afternoon.

I need some rest.

You gotta get

someone else, Joe. I'm

through.

You'll have

all next week to rest up.

I don't care what it's doing

to your ball-playing!

I gotta get this show set!

And I got to play baseball!

I feel like a heel

letting the team down, Joe.

That pennant means

extra dough to those guys.

Listen, I don't like

that kind of talk.

Don't threaten me, Joe!

No! I'm not coming down,

not tonight or any night!

I think that boy needs

a little talking-to.

- Hello, Eddie.

- Oh, hiya.

Uh, what's your hurry?

Well, I'm tired.

I'm gonna hit the hay.

Eddie, wait a minute.

Let-let's have

a little talk,

huh?

Just you and me.

Come on, Eddie.

Look, if it's about

my batting average

there's nothing left

to talk about.

That's why I want

to get some sleep.

Well, that's just it, Eddie.

M-maybe you're getting

too much sleep.

That can happen, too,

you know.

You see,

it's this way, Eddie.

You're, well,

you're just like a horse

I mean, a racehorse.

You're all nerves,

you're too finely trained

and, all of a sudden,

after you win a race

well, you start

looking around.

Yeah? What am I looking at?

Well, don't you know?

It's a long time since

I've been a racehorse.

Well, anyway, Eddie,

what I'm trying to say

is that well,

maybe you're getting restless.

You should relax more

uh, get out and just

bust out, you know?

I-I really think it might

do you some good.

Uh, get yourself

a girl, maybe

and just bust out.

Uh-huh.

And, uh, what

girl

am I gonna

bust out with?

Well, I don't know

but well, if you can't find one

there-there's always me.

You?

You want to go

out

with me?

You're asking me?

I-i-it's for the team.

Well, sure. The team.

Your-your batting average,

you know.

Sure. I know.

You-you've been making errors.

- Am I making one now?

- Unh-unh.

Oh, Miss Higgins

you're the prettiest

manager in baseball.

You're certainly

the prettiest shortstop.

Oh, I've been

a foul ball up to

now

but it's all gonna

be

different from here

in.

Goodnight,

Miss

Higgins.

Well, Eddie, wait.

Don't-don't you want

to bust out?

Right now, all that

counts

is winning that

pennant.

I'll take a rain

check

on the other.

Oh, I'm gonna

lay that

pennant

right at your feet.

Baby, when I do,

we're going to bust

out

in every town

in this

league.

Oh, Eddie.

Hello, Eddie. Well,

I hope I'm not intruding.

Good evening,

Miss Higgins.

Look, honey, run along, will

you? I'll see you tomorrow.

So, this is why you had to

miss the rehearsal tonight,

huh?

I thought you said

you needed a rest.

Rehearsal?

What's he talking about,

Eddie?

- Doesn't she know?

- Honey, I'll tell you

tomorrow.

Why, he's been

rehearsing

every night

for the past

couple weeks.

Rehearsing every night?

Yes, for a show

that I'm putting

on.

Oh, the girls are

gonna

miss you tonight.

They need you badly, Eddie.

- The girls?

- Listen, Katherine.

I'll explain

all this tomorrow.

From now on,

they can have him

and the team can

get along without him

for the rest of the season.

Personally, I can

get along without him

for the rest of my life.

Well, I guess I can get along

without you, too, Eddie,

from now on.

Oh, it's beginning to

penetrate my thick skull.

You must have bet a big chunk

of dough against the Wolves.

[chuckles]

The little boy's

beginning to get smart.

So you played me

for a sucker,

huh?

Well, I had to protect

my investment.

I guess there's no point

in me giving you the

routine

about baseball

being

a great game.

We gotta keep it clean,

especially for the kids.

No. You'd just be

wasting your time.

That's what I thought.

[grunting]

Come on!

[intense music]

[kids clamoring]

[thud]

[kids clamoring]

[instrumental music]

[indistinct]

[music continues]

[music continues]

[whistles]

[instrumental music]

Alright, folks! Get a program

before the game starts!

Programs! Programs!

We want O'Brien!

We want O'Brien!

- Louder.

- We want O'Brien!

We want O'Brien!

We want O'Brien!

This is the guy

they need in there.

(male #1)

'No. He went

all to pieces.'

What do you mean,

all to pieces?

Anybody's entitled to a slump

once in a while.

Hey! Look!

- We want O'Brien!

- Louder.

We want O'Brien!

We want O'Brien!

We want O'Brien!

We want O'Brien!

It's Eddie O'Brien,

fellas! Right here!

[clamoring]

Why don't get in there

and play, Eddie?

Nobody asked me.

I can't walk out--

We'll carry you

if it'll do any good.

- Yeah!

- Yeah!

[clamoring]

Holy smokes!

Look, it's Eddie.

Hey, Eddie!

What do you know?

That-a boy, Eddie!

What are you going

to do about him, Miss

Higgins?

Nothing. There's

nothing to be done.

It wouldn't hurt

to talk to him.

Mike, there's nothing

to talk about.

Besides, he's probably in

no condition to play anyhow.

Why don't you

put him out there and

see?

Yeah, we have plenty of

time

before the game starts.

No!

But you can talk to him

if you want to.

Attaboy,

Eddie!

Get in there!

If he goes in, we can

kiss our 20,000 good-bye.

Ah, you fellas

give up too easy.

What are you talking

about? What 20,000?

Have you boys been

betting against--

Shut up!

O'Brien mustn't

play today, boys.

- That's it.

- Okay.

A change in the line-up

for today's game!

O'Brien at shortstop

for the Wolves!

[crowd applauding]

Denny.

Denny, come here.

Hi, honey.

What are you doing here?

Listen, they're

going to get

him.

- Get who?

- Eddie.

- They're out to get him.

- What?

I heard Lorgan

and his men

talking.

They bet a lot of

money

against the Wolves.

They're a bad lot, Denny.

They won't stop at

anything.

You got to tell

Eddie not to

play.

Oh, he'd play anyway.

You got to stop

him

from playing.

Sure, sure.

Stop him from playing.

Yeah. Yeah,

I'll stop him.

Hey, Ed, pal.

How about giving them

the old routine? The gag?

Sure. You got the softball?

- Right there.

- Let's go! Come on!

[clamoring]

[applauding]

[instrumental music]

[thud]

[people laughing]

[whistles]

[mouthing]

(Eddie)

'Come on.

Let me have it.'

Hurry up.

Let me have it.

[instrumental music]

[laughing]

[applause]

Eddie! Eddie!

Hey, fellas, come here!

- You alright? Eddie!

- Get a doctor!

So our boy was really hurt.

Yeah, what do you know?

- I'm Dr. Winston.

- Come on, right here, doc.

Open up, boys. Come on.

Better get him

to the locker room right

away.

- Get him up.

- Take him easy, now.

- Go ahead.

- Nice and easy, boys.

Take it easy.

Nice and easy.

Well, I guess there's

ain't nothing left for us to

do.

Well, wait. Maybe he's only

stunned for a few minutes.

We gotta keep him out.

- Karl, Steve.

- Yeah?

They don't know you two,

go down there

tell them you're couple

of doctors

and keep O'Brien out.

- He'll be out, Joe.

- Okay.

Take it easy now, boys.

- Put him right down here.

- Careful. Very careful.

Give me room, boys.

Give me room.

- I'm Dr. Karl.

- I'm Dr. Stevens.

- How is he?

- Can't be sure yet.

- May be a concussion.

- A concussion?

So you fellas better

get out of here.

- We can take care of him.

- Alright, boys.

- Back in the field.

- Come on, Miss Higgins.

He'll be alright.

I don't suppose you have

a stethoscope with you?

Just cut me short, doc.

Say, why don't you run

along?

We don't all

have to be here.

Well, thank you very much.

I would like to see the game.

- Hmm..

- Well, what is it?

Uh? Oh, it's 10

minutes

after 2:00, doc.

Run along, doc, will you

and enjoy the game.

That's a nice fellow.

[groaning]

Say, he's a light

sleeper,

ain't he?

Yeah.

- Call it.

- Heads.

You win.

[instrumental music]

He's safe.

[music continues]

[thud]

[crowd cheering]

He's safe!

- How is he?

- Them doctors won't let me

in.

They say they may have

to operate.

What?

Denny, Denny, what's this

about gambling?

Who said anything

about gambling?

- Shirley did.

- Shirley, you didn't--

Now don't you start that.

I know you knocked him out,

you did it on purpose.

Now, look, I was on a spot.

Now you don't want a dead

shortstop on your hands, do

you?

Why didn't you call the cops?

They're all over the place.

I was too scared to.

Why didn't you tell

me?

How did I know you were gonna

bean him with a hard ball?

Oh, Denny!

Mike, how's he?

Have you seen him?

No, but he's still out.

Them two doctors

won't let me in.

They're saying they're

gonna operate.

Operate! In-in

there?

That's impossible!

Well, that's what

they're saying.

Well, I'm going in there!

Gee, is it that bad?

You hit him next time, will

you?

My knuckles is getting sore.

Hey, you can't come in here.

Why not?

Doctor's orders,

and I'm the doctor.

This man's been hurt

very bad.

Now shut the door

and get out of here.

Those two aren't doctors.

Come on! Quick!

(Karl)

'You can't come in here!'

[clamoring]

[grunting]

[whistling]

[people clamoring]

[thud]

Run it out!

Run it out!

Stay, stay.

Hold it! Hold it! Hold it!

- Get back!

- He's safe!

- Good boy, old boy.

- Alright, watch his pitch.

There they are, officers!

Come on, now!

Wait a minute, Joe!

What's your hurry?

Stop him!

Somebody, stop him!

Denny, stop him!

Just a second.

Buddy.

[all gasping]

Oh, why, I

hardly

touched him.

I guess I don't

know

my own strength.

Take him away, fellas.

Come on, boys.

Alright, boys! Play ball!

Batter up!

Denny! Denny, come on,

get in there, kid.

Get in there, kid.

Send Goldberg around!

- Slappy, is he still out?

- Yeah.

I don't think he's

seriously

hurt, Miss Higgins.

He's merely stunned.

Eddie, darling.

Darling, please look at me.

Oh, Eddie, can you talk?

How do you feel?

I feel fine.

- Oh, darling.

- I feel wonderful.

Now, you just lie right here

and don't you move.

Who's moving?

Oh, darling,

I was so worried

when Dennis hit your,

the head with the ball.

Dennis!

Where is he?

Where is he?

Move it, I'll murder him!

I'll kill him!

- Eddie! Eddie, wait!

- Let me go!

He did it on purpose!

No, Eddie! He

didn't!

Oh, Eddie!

[instrumental music]

[thud]

Get in there, boy.

Get in there.

Wait a minute, wait a minute.

Where is he?

Let me at him!

Let me at him!

Let me at him!

I want him!

I'll tear him apart!

Alright, get a hit!

You can catch him!

Yeah! Yeah! Give me a bat!

Give me a bat!

[instrumental music]

Honest, Eddie, I can

explain the whole thing.

Let's go, Eddie!

Come on, Eddie!

[instrumental music]

[thud]

[dramatic music]

Eddie! Eddie, stop!

Stop!

- Wait! Eddie, stop!

- Eddie!

Eddie, wait!

Eddie!

[people cheering]

♪ Keep your seats

hold your hats ♪

♪ It's not the finish

of the show ♪

♪ The love scene

must be played out ♪

♪ Before

the final fade-out ♪

♪ Sinatra gets Garrett ♪

♪ Kelly gets Williams ♪

♪ For that's the plot

the author wrote ♪

♪ So turn this duet

into a quartet ♪

♪ And end it

on a happy note ♪

[tapping]

♪ Like a Philadelphia

scrapple ♪

♪ Like a Washington expose ♪

♪ Like the St. Louis blues

or the Dallas news ♪

♪ It's strictly USA ♪

♪ Like a Saturday night

on main street ♪

♪ Like a Ford or a Chevrolet ♪

♪ Like potato chips

or comic strips ♪

♪ It's strictly USA ♪

♪ Take Judy Garland ♪

♪ Take Kathryn Grayson ♪

♪ Take Mr. Crosby ♪

♪ Or Fred Astaire ♪

♪ Don't let the movie

set them up ♪

♪ 'Cause they look so pretty

when we pin 'em up ♪

♪ Like the annual

Elks convention ♪

♪ Like a Rotary Club soiree ♪

♪ Like masonic halls

or firemen's balls ♪

♪ Like honeymooning

at Niagara falls ♪

♪ They're really

here to stay ♪

♪ 'Cause it's strictly ♪

♪ USA ♪♪

[instrumental music]

[instrumental music]