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And where's this?

In the hospital. You broke your arm. You were 6 years old. Don't you remember?

Yeah, sure.

It was winter, I wanted to jump off the snowdrifts and I broke my arm.

- But I don't remember how. - Well, you jumped off the snowdrift.

- It wasn't my fault. - It was the fault of the snowdrift.

(laughter)

(song)

# More, if possible,

# I beg for more every day.

# And although I don't sleep now year round,

# and am always one step behind them,

# More, if possible,

# Love more every day.

Episode 1x01 Holidays at home

Come on!

I'm waiting for a good wind.

- Go! - Look out!

- Hello. - Hi.

Ready!

I understand that it's winter, that conditions are difficult, but...

Be happy, I dissuaded them from the roof.

The wind is good! And... go!

On Monday I can't, because I have a meeting.

- And on Tuesday? - Tuesday...

In the morning yes, but the afternoon is out.

- But... - What, "but"? I have such a job.

You haven't come up with anything.

It turns out, that week I'll be sitting at home.

- But you have Friday free. - Only!

Only! You spend the whole week at home.

You work on commission. You don't have to drive every day to the office.

I understand. But when I don't work, I don't bring in money.

And when you don't work, you still make money.

Is the magic of freelance working beginning to trouble you?

(said ironically) "It may be hard, but I have to be a free man."

And you're making me a slave.

"You work at home, you can take care of the house."

- These are only the holidays. - Only?

Yes, only.

I won't go on vacation just because my husband wants it!

- I have an important position. - Slave driver!

What are you talking about?

Holidays and home. We need to somehow...

We're talking about who will be sitting with you at home.

Aha...

We'll toss a coin. Heads or tails?

- Give me a break. - Let's go! Heads or tails?

- Heads. - Here we go.

Yes! Tails.

- Throw it again. - I won.

- You're cheating. - You need to know how to lose with honour.

- Throw again. Maybe you should get a divorce, huh?

The court would designate who we have holidays with.

And we wouldn't bother you and your careers.

I think it would be better if I stay with the children at home.

I think it will be great.

Somehow we can manage.

Who won?

We won.

(turns on tv)

Dad, when you were little, What did you do during the holidays?

- I studied. - How come?

Such were the times.

All the time?

In the Summer we went to the countryside, and in the winter we sat on our ass at home.

Not like now.

Which means?

Now it's either Christmas, or a long weekend.

You sucked.

Besides, there was no internet, or all the scientific aids.

How did you relax?

We didn't relax.

From the big bell was a private chapel.

You didn't have the Internet, holidays, scientific aids,

or entertainment?

Still you studied hard?

A nightmare. What did you do to not go crazy?

I studied.

Season 1 Episode 1

- Tomek, we're going. - I don't want to.

We're going. Tradition has to be fulfilled.

- Midnight Mass is a tradition too, but we don't go. - Without you there won't be two teams.

- It's me and Kuba against you? - You can barely skate.

- The weather is beautiful. - Have fun.

At your age I would have done anything to play ice hockey with my father.

And I at your age wouldn't want to play with my son.

I know why he doesn't want to go. Because he's gay.

Since when do we judge people in this way?

- He always calls me hurtful names. - Because you're a Mega-gay.

Enough Kuba, don't say that.

Being gay isn't bad.

Whoever calls someone a bad name, he is himself.

Even if Tomek was gay, what difference would that make?

Dad, I'm not gay!

Of course not. I just want to explain to them,

that sexual orientation doesn't matter.

If you were gay, you wouldn't be our daddy.

- Idiot. - You're the idiot!

Quiet!

Whoever's going skating. Let's go.

Kacper, take these.

Tomek, are you coming with us? - No.

Okay.

Son...

I wanted to tell you,

that regardless of what path you choose,

you can always count on us.

The fact that I don't want to play hockey doesn't mean I'm gay!

If I should ever turn gay, I'll inform you about it, okay.

Great. See you later.

(Drone of departing car)

Sylwia, Hi. Will you come over?

I have a free gaff.

Hi, Marysia. What's up?

We're sitting, watching television.

And you - what?

You got promoted?!

We have to celebrate. Absolutely.

Regional manager?

That sounds important.

You know what I say?

You've long deserved it.

You've handled everything in the company.

If not for you, everything would grind to a halt.

Well, probably not, thanks to that old bag.

(laughing out loud)

(Tomek turns up the TV)

You're going on a trip.

By plane? (husband turns up the TV)

Can't you see that I'm talking? I can't hear what she's saying to me.

I already am. As always when I'm on the phone,

the guys turn the TV up to full volume.

What, are you still reading?

Go to sleep. Tomorrow you have a hard day.

I don't know if I'll go.

You promised them. Ludwik, you can't do that to them.

I didn't promise that tomorrow I'd take them skiing.

- No, you said tomorrow. - Tomorrow is a relative term.

Tomorrow in the other hemisphere is today.

You're not going to Australia, you're here in Warsaw.

How do you explain to them that tomorrow is not tomorrow?

- Oh! We'll talk about time zones. - What time shall we set the alarm clock?

I don't want to freeze in line to ride 3 times on a doormat.

- The boys will be disappointed. - It's hard. That's life.

- They have holidays once a year. - Why don't you go with them?

Because tomorrow I'm going to work.

I assure you that they'd prefer to rot in front of the computer.

- I don't think so. - You don't know your sons.

- I don't know my sons? - Apparently.

Come on, then. We'll see who doesn't know his sons.

Well, come on!

Impertinence.

Set the alarm for seven.

(phone rings) - Kuba, can you answer it?

- It's Eric. I'll call him later. - Please, answer it.

- Eric. I recognize the signal. - The phone always rings the same, Kuba.

Not for me.

It's Erik calling, yes... (ring tone)

- Ah, I think he has a cold. - I'll answer it.

(voice of child on phone) - Hi Kuba, it's Eryk.

I have a cold and I can't go outside.

Can I come over? - I told you?

- Just a lucky guess. - I have a talent.

(phone rings)

- Who's calling now, Mr. Copperfield? - It's Krystian. I'll take it.

Hi Krystian. Okay, I'll ask.

- Mom, can Krystian come over? - Yes, sure he can.

Okay. Bye.

- I told you? - The blind hen has been hit.

Each of us has a certain talent.

(phone rings)

Now who's calling?

- It's Filip. I think it's something important. - Wait, I'll answer it.

Yes, go ahead

Yes, I'll hand you over.

It's for you.

Hi, Filip.

Okay.

Mom, can Filip come over? His dad got called in to work.

- Yes, tell him it's okay. - Come over. Bye.

It's called telephonepathy.

Teleph...

I wish you could have seen her face. (boys laugh)

Tomorrow we'll call my moms number.

(sound of computer games)

Can you play that silly game a little more quietly?

I'm working here and waiting for an important phone call.

- Son! - Okay, Daddy.

(phone rings)

Hello.

Hello, hello. (phone still rings)

Hello.

Hi, Mom.

I can't now. I'll call you back.

(Kuba) Mom! Will you do us something to eat?

- What? - What is there?

- There's cheese and apples... - And cake?

Okay.

- And juice. - Getting it.

- You know what? - What?

- Do you let him treat you like that? - Like what?

Are you risking your career for them and still serving as a maid?

He just wanted a snack.

Can't he go himself and see what's in the fridge?

You're not helping them.

- You think? - Of course.

Children who learn self-reliance cope better in adult life.

Besides, what is the image of women that you present to them?

- They're still too young for such matters. - You're sparing them in everything.

In this way they think that man is master and ruler,

and that woman are there to do everything for him.

Think about it, because at the moment you're raising a macho goofball.

- Macho goofball? - Who's making dinner?

- Today, I am. - Who cleans up?

- Once me, once Ludwik. - And who does the washing?

I won't make them do the washing.

Let everyone wash their dirty linen.

Maybe so...

The sooner they learn, the better.

It's about their sense of values. What will happen in 15 years?

They'll be screw-ups, dependent on their mothers, wives, sisters...

Lack of independence leads to low self-esteem.

You know what happens to a guy who has a mind in such a state?

He becomes brutal. - I think you exaggerate.

Kuba! Ready!

I exaggerate?

Okay, you may not believe me.

But this is scientifically proven.

You think you're making innocent sandwiches,

but on your own breast you raise a beast!

- Here, honey. - Thank you, Mom.

I love you.

My son...

- Be careful not to fall on the stairs. - Okay.

You were saying something?

- No, nothing. Will you make me a coffee? - Sure.

- Good morning. - Morning, I'm Piotrus's dad.

- Come on. - Cool!

Take care. Behave yourself.

- Nice boy. - Thank you very much.

- I'm glad they're getting together. - I'm sorry, I have to get a move on.

It's my turn to take care of my son.

I understand.

There's pajamas, toothbrush, change clothes and medicine.

- Medicine? - For asthma.

He has asthma?

Yes, but he only has attacks when he's stressed out.

- And I packed the diapers just in case. - In case of what?

Sometimes he has nightmares, especially when sleeping away from home.

(car horn) I have to fly.

Ultimately, you have to use holidays. We need to have something from this life.

- I hear you. - We're going to the SPA to recuperate.

You gotta do what you gotta do.

Goodbye.

Oh, I almost forgot.

Piotrus has a nut allergy. I packed the injections.

That's great.

Good day.

- Why don't you come in for a moment? - I have to go.

They're going to the SPA.

Too bad, because I just prepared chicken with walnuts.

- Next time. Goodbye. - See you.

It's rare indeed such a caring father.

Chicken with walnuts...

(loud music)

Hello.

Is anyone here?

Kuba! Tomek!

- What, Mom? - Maybe someone can move this?

I can't get in the house.

I'm coming.

Boys, go upstairs and play.

Let's play sharpshooters.

- Here. - Thanks.

- But you have it right. - With what?

You have children, your family... such great happiness.

- Yesterday you said something different. - As I look at you, I envy you.

- Oh, you're just pissed off today. - No!

I also want children, to make dinner and I want to wash men's socks.

- There's still time. - I'm 40 years old.

There are many women who have a child at your age.

You have a position, money. You lack only a child.

I don't know.

You look good, you have no trouble with guys...

It's okay in the short term. But finding yourself this way for life?

Guy's my age still wanting to have a baby? There are none.

There are a whole bunch of guys who want to start a family.

A forty-year-old either already has a family, or he didn't want one.

You need to find someone responsible.

There aren't many Ludwik's in this world.

- Hi, Marysia. - Hello, Ludwik.

- Whats up, precious. - Hi, honey.

(Ludwik mumbles under his breath)

(drinks loudly)

(Ludwik burps twice)

Sorry.

(burp) - Sorry - Sweet Jesus...

- Mom, can we watch TV? - But not too long.

Okay.

Come on! Mom agreed!

(yelling, screeching boys)

(uproar)

(sound of TV)

I think it would be cheaper to go for a week to a warmer country.

Its finally the end. The kids are asleep.

And tomorrow everything will return to normal. School starts.

At Monopoly and Scrabble I no longer have to watch.

Stop. It wasn't that bad.

Next year we go to a hotel with swimming pool and lifeguards.

If the children drown, we'll drag them through the courts.

You're horrible.

- One room for them, another for us. - Why?

Because Daddy will want to stay with Mommy.

- And what will Daddy do? - Daddy will recharge your battery.

Mommy wants her Daddy to shave.

Daddy is doing it macho today.

(phone rings)

Wait a minute.

Hello.

Yes, I'm listening

No no...

I only gave him macaroni with butter.

And what happened?

Aha, I understand.

I'm so sorry.

Thank you. Good night.

- What's happened? - That was Piotrus's Dad calling.

The little one is vomiting all the time.

Apparently the stomach flu.

(sound of vomiting boys)

Subtitles by Squashy Hat (2017)

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