All language subtitles for My.Christmas.Love.2016.1080p.BluRay.x264-[YTS.AM]-eng(1)

¶¶¶

We got to go for an exit.

I love it when you get
all Special Forces.

Let's go!

Move it!

You didn't tell me we were
stealing loose change.

It all spends the same.

-You locked it, really?
-Yeah, I didn't want
anyone to steal it.

Hurry up. I'm freezing.

-Look what Santa
got my girl.
-Ah!

-Ah voila !
-Oh that's cute.

[chuckles]

Barbi, baby.

This ride is a joke.

Hey, you know,
I don't have a car.

I had to borrow
this one from work.

Never mind, by tomorrow
night, we'll be in Acapulco.

Did we have to bring him?

Rico sweetheart, he's my
brother and he was dropped
on his head when he was a baby.

Okay.

Plus,

if we need someone
to take the blame,

he'll be perfect.

I love the way you think.

-Are we ready, Neddy?
-You got it, sis.

[playing music from the van]

Ah! Turn that off.

-I-- I-- I-- I can't.
-I said turn it off.

I-- I can't, that
thing is broken.

-I can't.
-I'll break it.

No, no, don't touch it!

I should-- I should have
maybe turned off the
ignition before he did that.

Just take a right
and get on the freeway.

Sorry, Rico.

¶¶¶

[alarm goes off with rock music]

Today, I will hold you in
my arms for the first time.

Hey, look here, world,
Izzy's getting personal
with her guitar poster, again.

Get out of here, before I tell
Cindy you use mom's
concealer on your pimples.

You do that and I won't
take you to the guitar store
when mom and dad forget.

Don't worry. I made
sure they remember.

[alarm goes off]

Izzy!

-Pete, what's wrong?
-Honey, look at this.

[laughing]

Honey, she's just
excited about her guitar.

I have a pitch meeting
this morning and
I can't go in look...

What?

[chuckles]

-I can't believe she would...
-Well, she's just really
excited honey.

[man on TV] That's right, Jason.

A massive storm
is rolling in later tonight
covering some areas

in upwards of twelve
inches of snow.

So, get your shopping done
early, and plan on staying
in for the next couple of days.

[man on TV]
In today's top story,

America's debt crisis continues
to spiral out of control.

Right, right. So, we'll
push the pitch till eleven,

uh, reschedule the lawyers
for Thursday next week.

Right.

Dad, I got it.

Okay.

Hey, have you guys seen
my storyboards?

-Did you check your office?
-Ah, yes, okay.

-[Pete] You still there?
-Yeah, no, those figures--
those are just the estimate.

We'll get the real
numbers next week.

Yeah.

[Izzy] Mom, I'm nine.

I can cut up my own breakfast.

Uh, microwave pizza
isn't exactly breakfast, Izzy.

Yeah.

Hey, did you hear there
was a robbery at the
Salvation Army last night?

They stole a ton of coins.

-Excuse me.
-Hey!

Eat your pizza.

-Ugh!
-Uh, yup got it.

-Um, do you guys know where
my quarterly reports are?
-Over there.

Thank you.

Okay, bye.

Oh, and Izzy, forehead graffiti.

-Remember when you forgot
my last three recitals?
-All right, all right.

I'm sorry about that
but could you find, like,
a less permanent way

to remind your dad and I?

Oh, the milk's already out.

The good news is I don't
have to exfoliate my forehead
for about ten years.

I have to admit, Izzy.

Your spelling is really good.

I can tell you've been
working on that at school.

Dad, I'm nine.

I know how to spell.

Okay.

Listen, um, we know how
important today is, you know,
since you have been reminding us

daily of the one-day-only,
half-off guitar sale for
the last six months.

And your dad and I are
so proud of you that you've
been saving up your money

to buy one yourself, unlike
someone with his new car.

Nick.

-Hello.
-Nick.

-What?
-Headphones.

Oh, Izzy. Don't forget to
take the record back to Ray.

Yeah, yeah. I got it.

So, your mom is going to be
there when school gets out.

No, I'm not honey.

What do you mean?
I've lunch with the Madison's.

-You rescheduled
that for Friday.
-Did I?

-Mm-hm.
-Oh, man. All right.

I'm going to have to make
sure I see that in my calend--

-[cell phone vibrating]
-Sorry, honey.

-[cell phone ringing]
-Hang on one second, honey.

-Hello.
-Hello.

-You're ready to go?
-Hold on.

[Pete] Right. Yeah,
yeah. All right.

-[Heather] Okay, so...
-[Pete] I said we're going to
reschedule that for next week.

[Heather] Yeah, the
numbers haven't changed.

-[Pete] Yeah.
-[Heather] They're the same.

[Pete] Uh, huh.

-[Heather] I'll be
there as soon as I can.
-[Pete] Right.

[Heather] Okay, All right.

Let's go.

Oh!

-Izzy!
-Izzy!

[Izzy] Three o'clock.

¶¶¶

Those air guitar skills
are going to come in
real handy, you know,

when mom and dad forget
to give you the real one.

They're not going to forget.

Can you even hold the guitar?

Yeah. I practice every day at
school with Ray for rock club.

Oh, right. I forgot about guitar
lessons with the janitor,

-"Eddie Van Mop Bucket."
-You should hear him.
He's really good.

-Is it true what they
say about him?
-What?

That he's like an ex-jailbird
running from the FBI?

Have a nice day, Nick.

Hey, if mom and dad
do forget, I'll be at David's.

-With Cindy?
-No, we're just flying drones.

Sure, it's all about the
drones, isn't it, Nick?

Hey!

[girl] My mom got us
tickets for the second row.

No way.

-Hey, Izzy, did you get
your guitar yet?
-This afternoon.

-Oh, cool!
-I know.

We're going straight to the
shop, right after school.

Oh, bye, Izzy.

[boy] Whoa!

Thanks, Izzy.

-Have you landed
that Ollie yet?
-Close.

Can't wait to see it.

[Ray whistling]

Morning, Ray. Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas to you, Izzy.

-Hey!
-You brought Jett.

Hi, girl.

I figured with all the craziness
before Christmas break,
no one would notice.

So, today's the big day.

-You excited?
-Yeah. Oh, and before I forget.

Thanks for the loan.
Hope I haven't worn it out.

Oh, not likely.
I would've done it long ago.

-Ready for a guitar lesson?
-Yeah.

Yeah.

-[laughing]
-Let's get 'em.

All right.

[Ray] Yeah. Here we go.

Ah!

Yeah.

Maybe I'll get a glass case
and mount mine on the wall too.

Huh, kind of hard
to play a guitar with it
mounted in a glass case.

I'll just store it in there
after I'm done with it each day.

Keep the dust
and junk off it, right?

Well, I guess it could work.

How come you never take
Gloria out of her case?

Oh, man.

Holding that guitar brings
back a whole lot of memories,
both happy and sad.

Maybe I should come up
with a name for my guitar.

That is when I get it.

Yeah, you got ten minutes
before school starts.

-You ready to rock?
-Yeah.

[laughing]

Hey, we going to do some
rocking in here this morning.

Yeah.

[man on radio] In case you
hadn't noticed that storm
we were expecting tonight

has decided to arrive
a few hours early.

Snuggle up, campers,
it's starting to come down.

Hey, so this vehicle
is not really rated
for this kind of weather.

Just thinking maybe I want to
find a place where we can just,

kind of, hunker down
and let it pass.

Relax, the further south
we get, the more this
snow is going to let up.

That's right.

Um, South?

Yes, south, as in Acapulco.

-Mexico.
-[both laughing]

Um, Barbi, I don't think
we're going south.

-What are you talking about?
-Well, you said go
right onto the freeway

and that's what I did.

What? I said go right, and then
get on the freeway, going south.

-Are you kidding me?
-Ugh!

We've been going the wrong
way for the last three hours?

Ned, turn this around now.

Okay, let me just find
a spot to--

-Argh!
-Ah! Okay. All right.

Everybody, just sit back.

Here we go.

[Ray laughing]

So, Ray.

How'd you learn
to play so well?

Well, there was a time in
my life when I had a lot
of free time on my hands.

It seems like learning
to play the guitar

was better use of it then,
a lot of other options.

Oh.

Yeah.

Used to make some
of the worst times in my
life a lot easier to take.

That's for sure.

[bell ringing]

Ah, time to go to school.

Ah, Ray, couldn't we
just forget to show up?

It's the day before
Christmas break, all we're
going to do is watch videos.

Oh, come on.

I mean just because
you in rock club, doesn't
mean you can skip class.

Hell, you're trying to get
this old guy in trouble.

Okay, okay.

You can come back at recess.

There can be one last
lesson before break.

I'll be here.

All right.

[teacher] Madison.

Here.

[teacher] Connor.

Here.

[teacher] Aubrey.

Here.

[teacher] Isabelle.

Isabelle.

Oh.

[sighing] Here.

[background video]

-[man on TV] Now then,
who is ready?
-[kids] We are!

-Who is?
-We are.

All right then.

Let's begin.

And if you look at quarter
three, you can see
that costs are down

for the fourth quarter in a row.

Now, if you compare, um, where
we were a year ago, you can
definitely see the difference.

[Izzy] Hey, Ray.

Hey, hey, hey.

That was quick.

For you maybe.

To me, that was the longest
morning of my life.

Hey there's your
guitar over there.

-Are you ready to jam?
-Obviously.

[phone ringing]

Wait a minute here, Izzy.

Yeah, hello.

Oh.

Oh, Mr. Mitchell.

Oh, okay. Yes, yes, Sir.

I'll get to it right away. Okay.

All right.

Hey, I got to cut
this short, Izzy.

Uh, apparently, Miss
Hawthorne has a wicked
draft in the classroom.

-From what?
-One of the covers
fell off one of the vents

from the old heating
system and they didn't
put them on that well anyway,

but I got to go down to the
basement and fix it, okay?

More keys?

Uh, the-- the-- these
are the masters, you know.

The ones I don't use that often.

Okay, I got to go
down to the basement.

Oh, you didn't see
anything, right?

See what?

Atta girl.

Sound effects.

[whirling sound]

Am I in the presence of the
ghost of Christmas yet to come?

[teacher] Wait, stop.
We're missing the fog.

Izzy, where's the fog?
Come on, guys. We
have an audience tonight.

Sorry, sorry.

Okay, let's take
it from the top.

Oh, you've got to be kidding.

One, two, three.

¶ Jingle bells, jingle bells
Jingle all the way ¶

¶ Oh, what fun it is to ride
In a one-horse open sleigh ¶

Hey!

¶ Jingle bells, jingle bells
Jingle... ¶

[headmaster on speaker]
Attention, all teachers
and students,

if you've looked out the window,
you can see the storm

that was predicted
to hit tonight has
gotten here early.

In order to ensure
everyone's safety we've,
unfortunately, decided

to cancel tonight's performance
of "A Christmas Carol."

Sorry, everyone, we will
reschedule it for January.

It's a great story
for New Year's too.

Oh, man.

What happened to Christmas?

All right.

[Barbi] Ugh!

Is there any way to
get any more heat out
of this piece of garbage?

It's an ice-cream truck.

At least, we're headed
somewhere warm.

Finally.

Soon enough, with all this cash,
it'll be unlimited margaritas
for everyone on the beach.

Ah!

Yeah, I still don't feel good
about stealing money
from the Salvation Army.

That's supposed to be for
poor people at Christmas.

Don't worry, Ned.
It's all insured.

Like banks.

Really? Oh!

Oh! That's great.

[music playing from van]

[man on radio]
Authorities may have a break
in that robbery this morning.

A witness who may
have seen the crooks had
described the getaway vehicle

as-- [laughing] get this,
an ice-cream truck.

This group of criminals
is now being dubbed as
"The ice-cream truck bandits."

-Oh, fantastic!
-Uh, this storm
may come in handy.

After all this snow, the police
are going to have their hands
full with accidents all day.

I'm thinking we should get off
the road at least until dark.

Excellent thinking, Rico.

[bell ringing]

Merry Christmas, everyone.

And have a good
Christmas break, okay?

Where are they?
Where are they?

Wait. Oh, my phone! Mom!

[doorbell ringing]

-Hey, man.
-[David] Yo, he
brought the parts.

Get out of this weather, man.

[background hip hop music]

Hi, Nick.

Hey, Cindy.

Uh, I didn't know you
were going to be here.

Yeah, well.

Someone ought to keep
you boys out of trouble.

Great.

I mean that's cool.

Oh, Izzy.

They're late again, aren't they?

Oh, no. I just talked to
them. They're on their way.

I guess the snow is slowing
everybody down.

-They're on their way?
-Yeah, like, ten minutes away.

Make sure they take
you straight home
after you get your guitar.

This entire town
is shutting down soon.

Uh, speaking of, don't
you have a gig to get to?

Yeah, I better hit the road.

But I can't leave you
out here all alone.

Don't worry.
They're on their way.

-You don't want
to miss your set.
-No.

Uh, but you can't wait out
here in the freezing snow.

Come on inside.

There you go, baby.

I thought Jett liked the snow.

Yeah, she loves snow,
but-- but-- I don't love
wet dog smell in my car.

-Have a great
Christmas, Ray.
-You too.

Something wrong?

You sure I can't take you to
meet your parents somewhere?

Nah, they'll be here any minute.

Now, if anything changes,
you just call me, okay?

Okay, and I'll come and
get you. Gig or no gig.

You hear?

Yeah.

Ah! Have a great
Christmas break.

Come on here, girl.
Come on, Jett.

Okay.

They're just stuck in traffic.

They'll be here.

They'll be here.

Sorry, I didn't want to disturb
you, but I'm heading out

and I wanted to wish
you a Merry Christmas.

Oh, Merry Christmas
to you too, Mindy.

-I'm sorry I was so...
-I know.

Crazy day.

Yeah.

Before I go, one question.

Mm-hm. Sure.

What's with the three
on your hand?

Uh...

Merry Christmas, Mindy!

-Hey, honey.
-Pete, we did it again!

-No!
-Yes!

No!

I can't believe this is
happening! Why me?

Are you there?

I thought you were
picking her up.

Okay, I'll meet
you in the lobby.

[both] Oh!

-Let's go!
-Let's go!

Come on, Izzy.

-[rock music playing]
-[exhales]

-Oh!
-Crap.

-Really?
-Yes.

We better hurry.
It's going to get dark soon.

Ugh!

[Izzy on speaker]
Well, boys and girls,
it's that time once again.

No, I'm not talking
about Christmas.
That only happens once a year.

But being forgotten by my
parents happens all the time.

So, what do I do now?
Well, I may be here
all by myself, but--

I'm here all by myself!

¶¶¶

[screaming]

Oh, yeah!

Mm, maybe not.

The school phone line is out.

Oh, man!

You know what?
I'm going to try Ray.

-Who's Ray?
-Oh, that's Izzy's guitar
teacher, slash, school janitor.

Oh, oh.

[phone ringing]

Hey, hey, hey, Heather.

Merry Christmas to you.

Thank you.
Merry Christmas to you, too.

Listen, have you seen Izzy?
I have her phone, so, we haven't
been able to get a hold of her.

Well, Izzy's back at the school.
No one's picked her up yet?

Uh, you know, what? We're on our
way, but with the snow, it's,
uh, it's really slowed us down.

So, we should get there soon.

Okay, I just left
there a while ago.

I'll head back and make
sure she has some company
till you guys get there.

- Okay?
-Oh, thank you so much.

I really appreciate it.
We'll get there
as soon as we can.

Oh, okay. Okay.

Well, girl. We got
to go back. Okay.

-Nick?
-Yeah.

[cell phone ringing]

-Hey, mom, what's up?
- Nick.

Uh, thank goodness.

-Where are you?
-At David's, why?

Well, your sister, she's
stuck at school, we think.

You think? Are you kidding
me? You forgot her again?
Today, of all days?

I know. I know.

We really feel terrible about
it, but uh, we're on our way.

I could try to get there, but
the weather's bad here, too.

I haven't even
plowed yet, but...

No, no, no. You know
what? You stay there.

I don't want you driving.
It's too dangerous.

Your dad and I, we just
wanted to check on you,
make sure you were okay.

Mom.

Call me when you find her.

I will and don't worry,
I won't tell Izzy that
you're worried about her.

Yeah, I'm going to hang up now.

Okay. Got a hold of him.

-This is getting bad out.
-This is intense.

I know.

I hope we get there soon.

[music from van playing]

Ah, Acapulco,

Acapulco, Acapulco.

Hey, what are you doing?

-Shut up! I'm visualizing.
-[music dies down]

We need to get out
of this truck, pronto.

And go where? There's nothing
out here except for that
abandoned school over there.

Wait what?

It's not abandoned, just closed
for Christmas break probably.

It's perfect! Pull over.

Might even be some grub
there for my Barbi.

Not now.

-Pick up the pace, Ned. Come on.
-Come on, Ned.

I'm so sorry.

I can hear her tummy
growling. Let's go.

Show's over, folks.
Thanks for coming.

[Ned] It's moving.

Let's do this.

[Barbi] Oh-oh-oh.

Let's see what you got.
Break that window.

-What kind of a man are you?
-I'm a man.

A good man.

You're a disgrace.

I'll show you disgrace.

Rico, I am so sorry.

I got you good.

Ugh!

There!

You sack of... Oh!

Rico.

Great teamwork, guys.

I'm so sorry, Rico.

-Can you see okay?
-No.

-Because I can't see anything.
-I can't focus here.

I know you need to focus
but the roads it's like
really icy and slippery.

-I know you need to focus.
-Honey, you just--
you just need to stop.

-Okay?
-Okay.

Look out!

I knew I should have driven.

[turning on car]

[Pete] I got this.

Let me go check this out.

-[Heather] I can't
even open the...
-[Pete Don't worry, I got it.

-[Heather] No.
-[Pete] You stay here.

[Heather] Well, I don't
have much choice.

Oh, it's cold!

Be careful.

Okay.

Oh, man.

Oh-ho.

No.

Oh!

Okay.

-Honey, are you okay?
-Yeah.

I've got good news
and bad news.

If we stay in here, we've
got about one or two
hours before we freeze.

-What's the good news?
-That is the good news.

What's the bad news?

If we want to get Izzy, we got
to go out there, start walking.

Let's go. I have to go out your
side because my door won't open.

-All right. I'll help.
-Okay, please do.

-Oh, it's slippery.
-I know, be careful.

Okay, come on.

¶ On Christmas Eve
In the morning ¶

¶ I saw three ships come
Sailing in, on Christmas Day ¶

Let's keep moving.

Oh, there's a truck.
I'm going to go flag him down.

-Oh, honey!
-Help me!

Oh!

Snow angels?

Right.

Come on, we got to go.

This is where our
kids get this from.

Ah, come on, girl.

Come on.

There you go.

Hey, Jett! Where you going?

Izzy?

Izzy!

Hey, Jett. What are
you doing here, girl?

And

where's Ray?

[Rico] Stop squirming.

Did you guys bring
some buddies back?

Take it easy, take it easy.

This looks worthless.

The longer you guys stay
here, the more chances
you take of getting caught.

The cops come by and check
on the school all the time.

Oh, please.

The police are far too busy
with the blizzard outside
to check on an empty school.

So, Mr. Janitor...

The name's Ray.

Like it matters.

We have a cozy little classroom
in a closed-off school.

So, if I were you, I would go
ahead and get comfortable

because you're
not going anywhere.

Oh, but don't worry,
we're not going to hurt you.

Speak for yourself.

We just need a place
to hide out for a moment.

-What for?
-Oh, we're robbers.

We just pulled off
a big old heist.

Oh, so you're the ones who
robbed the Salvation Army store.

Guilty as charged.

Yeah, stealing from
the poor at Christmas.

Very classy.

Listen pal, you keep
your opinions to yourself,

or I'm going to make things
a lot harder for you.

Oh, I can see that you--

you guys are dangerous.

Maybe what-- I should have
found a safe place to hide,

you know, real safe
until you guys just left.

Too late now.

So, you just sit
there and shut up.

Same goes for you, Johnny.

Johnny?

That's right.

Johnny.

It's Ned.

I was trying to give you
a fake name, so, he wouldn't
know who we were exactly.

Sorry, Rico.

-Ah!
-Okay, never mind-- just
all of you, just be quiet.

I need to think.

-Are you all right?
-Yeah, I'm just thinking
warm thoughts.

-Like what?
-Mm-mmm, us by a fire
with Izzy and Nick.

Ooh, that's a warm
thought all right.

Honey, what happened
to our family?

Life.

Oh.

-Find anything?
-Signing the Constitution.

Nothing valuable.

It's a shame we don't
pay our teachers more.

I know. They're hardly
worth stealing from.

-These your friends?
-Huh?

Oh? Well, that one is my sister.

She's a sweetheart.
And that is her boyfriend.

Um, I don't know if
we're friends or not.

You know I always wanted
to have a family and friends,

but if they were anything
like these two, I guess
I should count myself lucky.

Ah.

I'm hungry.

[Rico] Looky here.

Keys to the school.

Cafeteria can't be far.

Perfect.

Go find the cafeteria
and get us some food.

By myself?

It's an empty school.

What are you afraid of?

I'm not afraid.

I just--

I don't care much
for old buildings.

They smell funny.

Fine. We'll both go
together in the funny
smelling, old building.

Maybe we should lock the money
up? You know, for safekeeping.

Okay, fine. Whatever.

I am hungry and you know
how I get when I'm hungry.

I lose my sunny disposition.

Right. You, sunny?

I mean, I hate
when that happens.

Don't.

Wow!

Big wow!

Come on, Jett. Over here.

Let's find a place
where there's no windows.

What are we gonna do about Ray?

-Who?
-The janitor.

Oh.

I'm still thinking about it.

No windows here.

Voila!

Okay.

I think we should
just get rid of him.

Problem solved.

[both laughing]

Look at you getting all
commando on me again.

Okay, three bad guys.

They have Ray and, clearly,
no one is coming to help us.

We got to save Ray, girl.

[Pete] Oh, wow!

-I can't believe this.
-Oh, my gosh I'm so cold.

Oh, honey look!
I think that's a barn.

Oh, honey. What if a car comes
by while we're down there?

You know what? My toes are about
to fall off, they're so cold.

-Just for a minute.
-The barn, yeah. Good idea.

What's up, man?

You all right?

Izzy's stuck at
school. All alone.

My parents were supposed
to call when they found
her, but they haven't.

So, she's probably still there.

All alone.

She's probably
freaking out by now.

Oh, man.

Look outside, dude.

No one's going
anywhere in this.

I know, but I can't
just sit here.

Seriously? You're going
to go outside in that?

I think it's very cool
that you're worried.

How can I help?

Uh...

Okay. I have an idea.

We're going to do what we came
here to do in the first place.

Stupid.

Okay. There's no
homes, nothing inside.

Just the woodshed and the barn.

-It's locked, but...
-I know.

I think I found something.
Come on, follow me.

Oh, Pete. I'm so cold.

Get this thing started, we can
ride it right on out of here.

-Honey, have you ever
ridden one of these?
-No, no.

-Well, I don't think--
-But I've seen it on TV.

Well, I've watched doctor
shows, and I wouldn't
perform surgery.

This isn't ours though, honey.
I don't think you
should turn this on.

-Honey, it can't be that
much different than a car.
-Oh my gosh!

All right. Hop on.

Woo!

All right, you need to go
slow though because
you've never ridden

one of these, okay?

-Okay, you ready?
-Yeah, but go slow.

-All right, here we go.
-Go slow, please.

[both screaming]

I think we just busted
someone's snowmobile.

And a shed.

Let's go get them.

[banging on door]

-[Pete] Okay, let's get in here.
-[Heather] Oh, my gosh.

Oh, my goodness. It's so cold.

-Are you okay?
-Yeah.

Well, I guess we owe
him a little lock too.

Oh, well put it on our tab.

That's right.

Oh, the shed and the snowmobile.

[Heather] Oh, gosh.

-Wow! I'm going to go
have a look around.
-Okay.

Hey, do you have any service?

-Honey, do you have
cell service?
-Hold on!

-Pete?
-Oh, man.

What do you think? We could
just jingle all the way there.

-Have you ever ridden a sleigh?
-Well, come on, honey.

The horse knows a way
to carry the sleigh.

We just uh, you know, we'll
hold on and you know, steer like
they do in the movies, right?

Yeah, I mean, at least
horses won't go in reverse.

Ah, yeah. There's that.

I think maybe we find
another option.

Oh, I feel good about this.

Honey, check this out.

Yeah, come!

Good girl. Good girl.

Yeah.

Whoa! Whoa! Okay, sit.

Yeah, honey she's not a dog.

Why don't you tie her
up to that right there,

you know, like what
you've seen in the movies.

-Funny!
-You'll figure it out.

You're a real comedian.

All right, all right.

Got it. Yee-haw!

There now, easy girl.

-I wouldn't stand
right behind her.
-Your chariot awaits.

-[horse neighing]
-Pete!

Oh!

Oh, my goodness.

Are you okay?

I'm doing great.

-Are you sure?
-Yeah.

Alright. Then get up.

-Work in progress.
-No, get up.

-This is where I can't
escape this from.
-Oh no.

Why don't you listen? You're
going to start listening to me.

Just gotta come up
with another plan.

-No, your plans...
-I'm a plan kind of guy.

I'm really starting
to think there's something
wrong with you.

You love it.

[Ned] There was
a time in my life when

cookies and chocolate
pudding for dinner would have
been a dream come true.

[Barbi] When was that, Neddie?

Last week?

[Pete] Maybe we should
just eliminate him now.

No, hey, I didn't-- no.
You didn't say anything
about eliminating.

-Barbi, I'm not gonna...
-Relax, Ned.

Rico is just being dramatic.

Right, Rico?
The janitor's tied up.

There's nothing he can do.

Give me another dip.

Oh, great.

I hate the dark.

Bad things happen in the dark.

Probably the storm.

Yeah, it's probably
the storm, right?

I guess we're stuck,
sitting in the dark.

Yeah, just sitting in this
dark, creepy, old school.

Would you shut up?

I'm like really cold.

-Are you guys freezing?
-I am fine.

I felt that kind of cold before.

That bone-chilling,
heart-stopping,
soul-freezing cold.

Hmm.

It's not from the storm, folks.

What's it from?

Why are you even talking to him?

Hey, janitor, I told
you to shut up.

You know this building
wasn't always a school.

Fifty years ago
it was a prison.

What?

Yeah.

They say that condemned
still walk the halls at night.

And still paying the price
of the crimes they committed
half-century ago.

Don't listen to him.

This is a story, of course,

but you have to wonder

there's no windows open.

Where is this unnatural
cold coming from?

Dude, think it'll work?

Well, we'll find
out pretty soon.

Can't believe you're doing
all this for your little sister.

David, you have a little sister.

What would you do if she was
stuck somewhere all by herself?

Yeah, I guess I'd help her.

In the meantime,
you can help me with mine.

Spencer could use
a hand with the stabilizer.

Don't worry, it'll work.

[soft groaning]

-What is that?
-Just relax.

It's the heater, or the,
the wind or something.

Barbi, I think we need
to get out of here.

Would you relax? You want
to go out there in that mess?
We would freeze to death.

Yeah, but, that's not natural.

-That's, that's...
-Maybe a little unnerving.

-Yeah.
-Yeah.

Like something
beyond the grave.

Exactly.

-It's a ghost or something.
-Stop it.

Something that freezes
the blood in your veins.

Okay, that's enough out of you.

Go find out what that is.

What? Me?

Yes, you.

Who do you think should do it?

I just-- I don't really think
we need to know
where that's coming from.

What's the matter, Rico?

Are you scared?

No.

No, I'll--

Okay, alright.

You stay.

I'll go.

-Any last words?
-Yeah, how about shut up?

-You know...
-Don't say a word.

Go.

[groaning continues]

It's just the wind.

It's only the wind.

It's only the wind.

Oh, holy crap!

Okay, that was it.

There aren't any...

[groaning gets louder]

[screams like a woman]

-What was that?
-Don't worry about it.

Everything is fine.

Right, everything's fine.

That's what the captain
of the Titanic said.

I love Leonardo DiCaprio.

One down.

Okay honey, let's go.

We got this.

I'm coming.

-Come on. Okay, you ready?
-Yeah.

Okay.

Get up!

Get up! Get up!

Come on!

Let's go!

Come on! Ha-ya! Ha-ya!

Honey, are you sure they
use goats for sleighs?

I don't know, honey.

Not sure of anything.

-Do I look like
a goat rancher to you?
-No.

-Why do people
even buy goats for?
-Milk.

It's okay.

[car approaching]

-Do you hear that?
-I do.

Oh my God, it's a car.

It's a car!

[laughing and cheering]

¶ ...or two ago
I thought I'd take a ride ¶

-Stop!
-Stop!

¶ Pa pa pa... ¶

What?

-Stop!
-Stop!

Oh, we are so glad to see you.

What are you guys doing
out here in this weather?

Could you please
help us with the ride?
Our daughter's all alone.

Come on in.

Thank you so much.

Come on Jett, let's go.

[humming]

You guys mind if I
stand up for a minute?

This old back of mine
doesn't handle sitting
too well anymore.

Yes, I do mind.

What are you doing?
He is our prisoner.

Hey, thanks.

-Do you know what
your problem is?
-No.

You're soft, Ned.

Your will is soft, so is your
brain, so is your body.

Well, maybe you're right, Barbi.

I wonder what's
taking Rico so long.

You poked me real hard.

I can't stand the
thought of Izzy waiting
outside in this cold.

Honey, we're gonna
be there very soon.

I know.

-Are we terrible parents?
-No.

No, really, are we?
I mean we forget about
Izzy's stuff all the time.

It's not just once in
a while, it is all the time.

Honey, we're-- we're working.

-So what?
-Both of us are working.

-That's not an excuse, honey.
-You know.

I mean sometimes things are
gonna fall through the cracks.

Yeah, our kids falling through
the cracks into an abyss of
mom and dad not being there.

You know what? We used to do
stuff together as a family and
now we do everything apart.

-We really do.
-Yeah. I feel like we are
losing touch with Izzy.

And Nick.

You know, why don't from now on
let's start being a real family.

I-- we have to. We really
need to take the time.

Chris, thank you so much
for helping us out.

Yeah, thank you.

You know, this isn't
really any of my business

but I got a feeling
your girl's just fine.

Okay, something is wrong, Barbi.

-Rico should be back by now.
-He will be back soon enough.

[sound of chains]

What was that?

-That sounded like...
-Like chains.

Yeah.

Oh, no, he's come back.

-Who-- who-- who's come back?
-The worst of them all.

Um,

Clarkson.

That-- that-- that's
what this is.

Lewis Clarkson.

He died in his chains.

As-- as cold of a man
as there ever was.

He stole the last meal of a man
headed to electric chair.

Oh, yeah, I just hope he--
he doesn't-- he doesn't get to
your missing friend, old Lewie.

-What?
-Don't-- don't listen to him.

You... shut...

What happened?

Is he dead?

-What?
-[Ned] You look worried.

I am not worried one bit.

I should be in Acapulco!

I don't believe this,
not for a single second.

You're right, probably not.

-Barbi, can we please
just get out of here?
-No.

Okay, fine.

I'll go check it out.

-Can I just say one thing?
-No.

He collects jewelry, rings,
necklaces, things like that.

If you feel something cold
on your throat, just-- Him.

Quiet.

Can I-- can I make a point?

-Is there a ghost observation?
-You're not

very much like your sister.

No, she's assertive, I guess.

I mean, you're not soft.

I mean you're just a,

a nice person.

Thank you.

You don't like to hurt people.

You don't like stealing
from the poor.

Are you sure you're
cut out for this?

Yes, I am a robber, Ray.

This is easy to fix.

Well, I disagree.

Oh, look, I've made
mistakes in my life.

I followed others, you know.

And then one day what
happens, I end up in prison.

-In prison?
-Yeah.

But believe me, it's something
you don't want to experience.

Every minute the world
gets further and
further away from you.

In the end, what prison takes
from you cost more than
what you stole is worth.

The money.

Come out, come out,
whoever you are.

Jett, come on, help me!

Alright, open the door!
Right now!

[Izzy] Two down.

[Barbi] Open this door!

The noise has stopped.

Maybe it's satisfied.

There were never any
ghosts in here, were there?

Yeah, you got more to be afraid

in your two partners than
any ghost in this place.

-Hey, they-- they are not--
-Yes, so Ned.

I've had two
miracles in my life.

The first was discovering
the guitar when I was in prison.

Without it I don't know
what I'd be now.

Maybe in the cell next
to the one that's--
that's gonna be for you.

And the other miracle
was when I found someone

who saw the part of me
I thought was long gone.

And she was a singer in a
band that I auditioned for.

We became friends and--
and then more than that and,
eventually, she married me.

Her name was Gloria.

She passed away
about five years ago.

Why-- why are you
telling me all this?

Because you need to know

that there's a life worth
living on the other side.

I am so sorry for us
laying our guilt upon you.

Oh, don't you worry about that.

You know I'm something
of a student of human nature.

I know who's naughty
and I know who's nice.

Wow, that sounds like
something in a fortune cookie.

Maybe that's where I heard it.

-We're ready?
-[David] Yeah.

I programmed the school's
GPS coordinates and it looks
like the blizzard stopped.

So that should give you clear
visibility on the way there.

We'll be watching. But the
drones will fly on autopilot
until they reach the school,

then they'll land themselves.

Perfect.

-You think this will work?
-I hope so.

-Good luck, Nick.
-Thanks.

When all this is over, you and
I should go fly drones sometime.

Yeah, we should uh--
we should do that.

Okay.

Alright. Here we go.

-It works!
-It worked!

It works! Okay, okay.

I'm next.

Whooo! Yeah!

He's doing this.

Let's go Nick!

Whooo!

[Barbi stumbling]
Where's my stupid phone?

Come on, come on, pick up
the phone, you moron.

[cell phone ringing]

Rico Sanders, personal
bodyguard to the stars.

Rico!

-Barbi?
-It's not a ghost, you idiot.

It's a kid!

Okay, okay, I'm coming.

[Barbi] Really?

Go check on Ned.

I don't trust him.

-Where are you going?
-I am going to end
this nightmare.

Hey.

[laughing]

So, are the knots too tight?

I'll manage.

But you can solve all that
by just letting me go, Ned.

Ray, I can't.

My sister...

Okay, we can just tell
them that you escaped
and then if they catch me,

then I'll just pretend like you
knocked me down or something.

-[Rico] What do you
think you're doing?
-Rico.

I'm-- I can't do this, okay.

This is wrong.

I should have never
let you guys talk me
into it in the first place.

[Barbi on speaker]
Attention, students.

This is your principal speaking
and I am here to give
a message to the little creep

responsible for all the games
we've been playing today.

The games are over
and I have one because
I have something you want.

So if you want your
friend back in one piece,

then you better give me
my money back.

Oh, and you have five minutes.

And believe me when I tell you-

that what's his name-- Ray,
well Ray is gonna lose big time.

The clock is ticking.

Tick-tock, tick-tock,
tick-tock, tick-tock.

I hate kids.

I hate kids!

What's going on here?

I caught your brother here
trying to let the janitor go.

I should have known
I couldn't trust you.

You've always been
such a disappointment.

Always questioning
me when I ask you
to do something.

Always whining
[in childish voice] about not
wanting to hurt innocent people.

So as of right now,

you are no longer my brother.

Best news you heard
in a long time, Ned.

What are we going
to do about this reject?

Ah...

Same thing as we
always plan to do.

Just a little sooner.

And what exactly is that?

You'll find out soon enough,
both of you. [laughing]

Well, it looks like your friend
cares more about money than you.

My kind of people.

[Izzy] You're wrong.

Izzy, run! Run!

[Barbi] There you are.

You want to make a deal?

I'll give you your money.

Just let Ray go.

Listen here, you little brat!

I am through playing
games with you.

So you take me to my
money right now or things
are gonna get nasty.

Just take me but don't hurt her.

Oh, wouldn't you like that?

Move.

[Chris] We are almost there.

Good.

You know, you look
really familiar, Chris.

Do I?

Where are you from?

I'm from up north, way up north.

Can I ask you a question?

What?

Does it bother you
stealing from poor people,
especially this time of year?

What does the time of year
have anything to do with it?

When somebody has
something I want, I take it.

Geez, where'd you get an
attitude like that? Didn't your
parents teach you anything?

Parents?

Never had much use for parents.

Speaking of, where are yours?

They get busy sometimes.

Busy?

Busy is just an excuse.

Busy is something
they tell us when they have
more important things to do.

Congratulations, kid,
you just learned one of life's
most disappointing lessons.

Well?

Hey, Rico, I guess now
that Barbi has disowned me

as her brother I can tell you
what I really think of you.

This ought to be good.

Go ahead.

Well, quite frankly,
I don't like you

and I never have

and I never did.

And you're a bad guy.

You are-- you're also
an awful person. So...

Oh wow, that--

that really hurt.

How will I ever go on?

Is that it?

No. I have one
more thing to tell you.

Hmm, can't wait. What is it?

You're really good
at tying people up.

Not.

Let me show you
how to tie a real knot.

[Barbi] Alright, enough
of the life lessons, kid.

-Where's my cash?
-[Izzy] Right up here.

But there's one
thing I have to say.

Do I have to hear this?

Sure. My parents are busy
but they're not out having
fun and messing around.

They're working hard to take
care of me and my brother.

Ooh, that is a very,
very touching story, kid.

But stop stalling and tell
me where my money is.

Oh, I wasn't stalling you,
I was distracting you.

From what?

Her.

I would probably let go
of me very slowly.

This is Jett.

She also loves me.

But, as you can see, she
doesn't like you very much.

So if I were you, I'd just
stand there till I get back.

Where are you going?
Get back here!

Good dog. Good dog.

Shh.

Would you like a cookie?
Do you want a cookie?

Good girl. Good girl.
Cookie. Cookie.

-Izzy, you alright?
-Yeah.

I'm sorry about lying to you
about my parents coming but-

Wait, aren't you a bad guy?

Not anymore. It's a long story.

Where's Barbi?

Jett's guarding her. Come on.

Oh, alright.

[Pete] Okay, let's go get her.

-[Heather] Okay.
-You guys check the front.

-I'll go and take
a look out back.
-Okay.

-Thank you.
-Thank you, Chris.

Merry Christmas.

[Heather] Merry
Christmas to you, too.

Alright, come on, honey.

Izzy!

-Jett, you let Barbi get away
for some cafeteria cookies?
-[Ray] Oh, shame on you.

This dog gonna walk over my
dead corpse for that milk bone.

So, where is my ex-sister?

Oh, hey, hey! Excuse me.

Have you seen
our daughter Izzy?

That's your daughter?
[laughing] Good luck, buddy.

That was weird.

-Where is she?
-I don't know.

Okay.

Ice-cream truck bandits.

[struggling]

Hey, the school
is closed, buddy.

I don't think so.

You are not getting away with
that Christmas money, Curly.

[music playing from van]

Piece of junk!

[music dies down]

Hi.

Yeah, I think I might have
found those stolen coins.

[buzzing sound approaching]

Sorry.

I don't know where else to go.

Mom! Dad!

-Izzy!
-Izzy!

-[Heather and Pete] Izzy!
-Mom! Dad!

Thank you.

[radio chatter]

I could have been
a police officer.

-There you are!
-He is the one who did it!

-It was all his fault!
He made me do it!
-You left me behind.

Shut up.

-Don't put him in my car.
-You left me.

Don't put him in my car!

I loved her!

-Don't put him in here!
-I loved you!

-Shut up!
-Now I hate you
'cause you're an ugly liar!

Hey, Mike, can I have
a minute with Ned here?

I suppose.

I told the police everything,
how you saved me and
how you helped Izzy.

Well, thanks, but I deserve
everything I get, so.

Yes, you do.

But don't worry, the district
attorney is the bass
player in my band.

They clear things up
pretty quick if he thinks
he's doing the right thing.

Yeah.

Listen to me.

I meant what I said in there.

You have a friend
on the outside.

Me.

And how'd you like
a job as my assistant?

Yeah, I can use the help.

I would love that, Ray.

Alright, Ned.

[Barbi] No! I say
clear this punk out!

So you tricked one
of them into thinking you're
a ghost and he fainted?

Yep.

And you lured the other
one into a janitor's closet
and locked her inside?

Yep.

I can't believe
you did all that.

I keep telling you guys,
I'm nine years old.

I'm not a little kid anymore.

Oh, do you realize
that this is the first time
we've all been out together

as a family in I don't
even know how long.

You know what, I-- I say
we go have dinner right now,

unless you just want
to eat more pudding.

[exhales]

Things are gonna change,
okay? We promise.

Starting this Christmas.

In fact, let's call the
office in the morning

and tell them Christmas
vacation has already started.

[Heather] That's perfect.

A fresh start.

Hey, mom, dad.

-Mm-Hm?
-While we're on the
topic of fresh starts,

maybe there's
something else we can do.

Ah.

Hey, Ray.

Um, if you don't have plans
for Christmas, we'd love to
have you celebrate with us.

Thank you.

-Yeah, yeah, sure.
-Oh, great.

Yeah, yeah.

[laughing and playing]

Oh my gosh.

Ah, what a great Christmas.

Yeah. Hey, and what's Christmas
without goofy slippers.

Yeah, I second that.

We're not quite
finished yet, mom.

Here you go, Izzy.

Nick, thanks!

Oh!

[Pete] Nice.

Okay, I know we didn't
buy a guitar on the one
day half off sale but

figured that'll come in
handy when you do get it.

And I think that we've got
one more present for Izzy.

Yes.

Just wait one second here.

Is this--

I know, the empty case isn't
much now but that guitar
is gonna look great in it.

I'm so sorry we didn't
make it to the guitar sale

but dad and I, we are
gonna get you a new
guitar after Christmas.

Don't anyone move, okay?

This is for you, Izzy.

[gasping]

[Izzy] Gloria!

This time I took her
out of that case and
gave her a new home.

I think she'll
really like it here.

Wow.

Yesterday I didn't
even have a guitar.

Now I have enough
gear to go on tour.

Slow down, okay, rock star?

You know, maybe
you should finish
elementary school first.

Well, there's only
one thing left to do.

What's that?

[all] Play something.

[rock music]

[man] Take one.

[Izzy] Ooh!

[man] Cut! Cut!

[Rico] What are we
gonna do about Ray?

-[Barbi] Who?
-[Rico] The janitor.

What are we gonna do about Ray?

Who?

The janitor.

Who?

The actor from Lethal Weapon.

[man] Cut!

[laughing]

That's right, Jason,
a massive storm is
rolling in later tonight,

kind of like these biceps.

Isabelle!

Tim Allen, this is for you.

[burping]

Yeah.

-Oh, honey!
-Help me!

-[Heather] Funny it just
got real, it's silly.
-[man] Alright.

Action!

Throw.

-[man 2] Reset.
-[man] Oh, boy.

Ugh, so close.

So close.

Action.

[man 2] Oh, sorry!

-What is wrong with her?
-Oh, my gosh.

You know what?
This-- this is from you.

Yeah. Anything--

Sorry.

[man] 121, daycare.
Take two. Mark.

[Barbi] What's the matter, Rico?

This is ridiculous!

[laughing] Alright.

It's okay.

Are you scared?

No.

Oh.

No.

[man] Apple, fifteen apple,
take five. Mark.

[man 2] Rolling.

Whoa!

I just do whatever
you tell me to do.

You wear the pants
in this family.

Yes, I do.

Are you kidding me?

We've been going...

Are you kidding me?

We've been going...

I can't believe this.

[Ned] You have to believe.

[Ned] I'm your own worst enemy.

[all laughing]

Come on, come on, baby.

[man] Cut!

[Izzy] You know
she's not gonna fall.

[man] Wow!

We're gonna do what we came
here to do in the first place.

[man] Wiggle for just a second.

No, let's cut
with all that noise.

[man] 121 Charlie,
take two. Mark.

Whoa!

This is for you, Owen Wilson.

Wow!

[all laughing]

You do that and I'm
not taking-- [mumbling]

I can hear her tummy growling.

Let's go.

That's not her tummy.

[man] Cut!

Whoa!

Sorry.

You know I was Charlize
Theron's bodyguard.

I guess my chances of becoming
a police officer are over.

You kind of remind
me of my father.

He was a cop.

-[Heather] Look out!
-Oh!

[laughing]

Was that too much?

Whoa!

Sorry.

¶¶¶

[music ends]