Original subtitles

Hey! Hallo!

Wake up!

My name's Florian Thomas. This morning, my dick started talking to me.

Hallo!

Wake up!

Come on! It's all down to us.

From now on, we are a team!

- A team? - Yep, you and me.

From that day on, he never stopped talking.

Produced by Bernd Eichinger

Let's go! Look! You can ski down those tits!

And you can wrap those legs round your head three times.

- Paragraphs not counting! - Do you know what? You have a problem,

She looks keen, Hey, we've hit jackpot!

-You see girls as sex objects. -And the problem is?

Have you ever considered more important things, other than sex?

- Like what? - Personality, for example.

-I love girls with personality. -Show me a girl with personality.

Take, for example, that girl. She's got two handfuls of personality.

- What about a sense of humor? - Sense of humor? Let's see.

- That girl! She has tons of humor. - You're a monster!

- Who? Me? - Yes, you!

-I'm your best friend. -Or my worst enemy.

- But listen. I am a part of you! - Not all girls are interested in

... your filthy thoughts. - Of course! They are.

But they are not.

Her name is Maja Paradys. That sounds almost like "paradise".

Only misspelled. She is wise, charming, funny ... Just perfect.

Apart from a tiny problem. - She is not interested in you.

What the heck, look ... Free listing!

I'm fed up with you always putting me in awkward situations.

- Would you, then? - I wish only to have my dream girl.

This particular person. The girl of my dreams. Poets would call her "the only one".

- "Soul partner," lovers call it ... - Or rappers would call her "yo, bitch".

-OK. Go and talk to her.

- What if she won't talk to me? - Wow! At least she'll talk to you.

- She wants you! - Are you crazy?

- She's the new teacher! - So what? Oh-ho-ho-ho!

- What's the big deal? I think it's time to cop a feel. - Cop a feel? With her? Are you mad?

- With what? - What then?

Go behind her and grab her tits. If she turns around and smiles,

she likes it.

Quick, behind!

Bertram...

- Quick, get behind her. - What if she doesn't smile?

All women like it.

Wow, look

A good start. Put your hands on her ass.

- How? - Do as you would push yourself.

- Oh ... 'Sorry. - Great! Now move up to the tits!

Now slowly move your hands around her bells.

- Oh, Hallo Florian. - Hallo, Mrs. Müllerschön.

Did you see her smile? She loves it.

And squeeze them!

Check if they're firm.

Out the way, bitch.

Don't call me bitch, you bitch!

I'll call you what I want. Just shut up.

As in video games,

Women's Field Hockey is the perfect mixture of sex and violence.

Great. Diane is hurt. And who replaces her now?

Here, here! Hallo! Me!

Guys, I'll tell you what: snip your dicks off,

and you can join us here!

Oh!

Shot Training.

The teacher? You must have been desperate.

Hm?

Her tits. Are they real or silicone?

- Oh, real. - No!

I've said it! She with the ashes!

Go on, Maja.

I dream of having a girlfriend like her.

Then I would never look at other girls.

Oh, my God. Maja!

With such a girl, a boy never needs other girls.

Let it not escape. Kiss her now!

Hallo Maja!

Filthy pervert!

According to your school report...

...groping your teacher is not your usual behaviour. Well, Florian ...

This is a typical male fantasy. The first symptom, the men on a ...

fascination of sex, is unable to control his eyes away from female breasts.

The second symptom is to come to womens' legs

Then an uncontrollable admiration for women's feet.

You might know that it is foot fetish.

There is an effective treatment only.

- What? - Castration.

What?

Relax.

A small joke of sex therapists.

I'll give you something to... calm yourself down there a bit.

This funny Sex Doctor probably helps! I wonder when she gives a house visit.

Ah!

It has 3 speeds.

It's the top of the model range, Kung Fu grip.

Best of luck, Florian. And do you think

once you you reach the door, do not hesitate, grab her tits?

Yes! Come on, do it now!

What about us?

Do not forget your medicine.

Next, please.

From now on, Maja and the other girls

will associate Florian with sexual superiority - What?

I'll give you an example. I once knew a gigantic girl.

She told me that she always lit a match...

when it smelled like she'd been to the toilet.

So every time I go for a dump...

I light a match.

So what's the big deal? - No idea.

Well, I think about her, of course! So, I shit at least once a day.

Maybe even twice. That’s it, at least once a day I think of her.

And that's association!

- What's that shit got to do with Flo and Maja? - Think of the association.

Flo kissed her and got a hard on. And Maja saw it.

- So each time she sees a hard on, she'll think of Flo. - That's ridiculous!

- You might tell nonsense! - And it was obvious that she liked it.

- Do you want to lose some more money?

I'll bet any sum,

- In one week, Maja will be falling at Flo's feet. - Agreed. Double or quit.

If we win, you will stand in the middle of town One hour ... naked.

- No problem. She'll never do it. - No, never.

- Can I have a word in this? - No!

- What was that all about? - Man, I would never have put money on it

if I thought it was Mission Impossible. I have a perfect plan,

but first, how did you get on?

I've got the solution here. How about this?

The modern toys brings nothing ... Listen. Your thing, in your pants,

is like a loaded gun. And if you do not use it from time to time

then at some point you will get hurt. I bring you a better thing.

From generation to generation this has been passed in my family

Has never failed, guaranteed Relaxation in any situation.

Just look at those.

Oh, and the ...

And the ...

Wow!

Uäh!

What then?

1953?

Pretty old.

Who cares? The women are great!

Yes, you're right.

- Well, it was really old. - Old? This was an heirloom!

- You know, it's just so .. - Flo, all of these pictures have historical value.

Over the years, they've always saved me. For example, Linda, yes?

This has always healed my sorrow. Just like ... Alison, Sharon and Wendy.

These girls are more than just pictures. They're like ... good old friends.

That's what I mean. Suppose she was 25 in 1953.

It was 50 years ago.

Now, she's 75 years old.

- Boah, that's disgusting! - Yes, and it gets worse.

- No, this cannot be! - But because it came to me

that all those fantastic women were old enough to be grandmothers.

- So, I thought of my grandmother. - Stop it!

But! What would she think in heaven

looking down at her grandson

trousers down and dick out...

- They should die again. - You'd need a crane to get me up!

Well, then, if that is so ...

have another look at the pictures.

Practice makes perfection.

- Is this Maja's house? - Yeah. Now do not worry.

Everything is prepared. Remember. the grandma is very old and helpless.

The family is looking for a nurse, who can look after grandma.

Maja will be in proximity. And in some days, she is perhaps a victim of your charm.

- I do not know. But I'm lying to her.

Everything comes cheap and smeary. I should be more honest.

Do you want her or not?

Hallo. Oh, you must be the new carer. Come in.

Thanks for giving me the opportunity.

- You? - Oh, you know each other already?

Well, then I leave you alone

- What are you doing here? - Wow! Grab her tits! Girls love it!

- Shut up! - What?

I'm the new nurse for your granny.

I think not. This is ironical of you.

Well good, because you are here, this is the grandma's room.

She would be called "Miss Paradis". She is almost 99, in a couple of days.

but you would not say that.

- She is quite tough for her age. - Ah, I am already prepared.

And ... Never give her alcohol. She'll order you to bring her some.

And you are really hard to refuse

Do not worry.

If something goes wrong, the job

is over!

Hallo, grandma

I would introduce you to someone He will from now on be your carer.

Let's go.

At best, you bring her something to eat.

Well, Fra ... Ms. Paradis,

what are you watching? - What's the matter to you?

Good day. My name is Florian Thomas.

- Do you have any beer? - Ts-ts.

Beer, however, is not good for you.

Unlike ... This delicious soup here.

Is it beer soup?

No. I think this is pea soup.

- Definitely pea soup. - Get out of here!

And don't come back, unless you have beer

But that was not nice of you, Ms. Paradis.

- Get out. And don't let the door smack your ass

Ah. Look. We can do this in one of two ways.

The hard way or the easy way. Your choice.

- What should it be, eh? - Oh-oh!

Ah ...

Is everything up there OK?

What happened?

No, nothing ... Old people are like ...

babies and small animals.

They need our care. Men must take care of them.

This is so beautiful of you.

The guest washroom is over there. You ... you should wash perhaps?

Yes, a good idea.

Pretty hot. I ... go put my bikini on.

That was quite obviously an invitation.

- What? - Well, the thing with a bikini!

- She wanted you to see her putting a bikini on. - Say, are you crazy?

Go! A peek through the keyhole does not hurt. - Yes, but ...

Why she said it if she did not wish you to look?

Go get closer! She is so close; that you can almost touch!

Ah!

- What are you doing? - I ... 've just ...

- admired your doorknob! - My doorknob?

Yes ...

You have 3 seconds before I call the police.

Wanda's savaged Wuppertal.

In Eternal Memory

... Oh yes, oh God ...

Oh, yeah, baby. Hit me on my buttocks. Hustle, my turn.

...

Granny, you said that masturbating is unhealthy.

So now you'd better not look at it

Hey, not now.

What?

Shall I come back later?

... Yes, shake my salad!

No, no ... My hands were dry. So I greased them with cream.

Red, I need your help.

Maja saw your sex magazine

And she thought I was peeping at her granny's ass. She will not speak to me.

- If Plan A fails, you step on Plan B. - Is that better than the first plan?

A player has just been injured. And now they need a new one.

- What does that mean for me and Maja? - Let me just do it. I'll care for you.

Maja will be crazy about you.

Hockey Register Here

Who is Wanda?

Oh, man! - Ah! - Pscht, pscht.

Wanda? Who is Wanda? I do not know Wanda.

- It does not matter if she is not coming. - Here I am.

I'm sorry, I'm too late.

- You're Wanda? - Yes, Wanda ... from Wuppertal.

Wow!

Wanda, Wanda, Wanda ...

Baby! Baby! This is a turkey ass! I love women with some meat to squeeze.

You talk to me?

Only you have a butt so big, the size of Hawaii.

I'd like to get on one knee and make it like a seal in the circus.

- What did you say? - A girl that loves the rough, huh?

You will regret

You have balls of iron?

- You have balls! - True!

Pussy Power!

Wanda! Wanda! Wanda ...

Do you have another round for Wanda?

Wanda. You're just crazy.

Tell us about yourself, Wanda Is there a guy in your life?

Yes. He is everything that a girl dreams of.

You mean he is gentle, sensitive, and may well express his emotions?

- Exactly. And he even sits through...

... those silly romantic films with me.

- Like Love Story? - Ah ...

- What's Love Story? - It is so romantic. Imagine:

A man and a woman fall in love, incredibly perfect for each other,

and overcome all obstacles in the way for their love.

- Yes, and what happens then? - She dies!

Oh! How romantic ...

What a coincidence! That's his favorite movie!

- That sounds like the perfect man - Yes, Wanda, do not let him escape!

Too late. We are just good friends. He is up on both ears

in love with another girl. - Really? Who is the happy girl?

- Well, you. Haven't you noticed? - How ... I? Who is that guy?

- Well, Florian Thomas! - Florian Thomas?

- Florian Thomas is the total sex maniac! - What? You've no idea!

Let me tell you about who the true Florian Thomas is.

Mm, look, she's hot. Tell her you'll tickle her crotch!

Any different thing to say?

I cannot believe that I treated him so incorrectly.

- You should apologize him. - Yes, you are probably right.

Then we drink!

... Like a rock of granite, so like Real Madrid ...

... and so we move to the Bundesliga and we will soon be ...

the German champion ...

Oh! It's time for my "little girl"!

And, all right? What happened? - Flo, ...

It was a totally different world. Paradise!

I was groping more butts and boobs than a towel in a convent.... I'll tell you:

When girls go out, they're wild!

- Yes, but what about Maya? - Tomorrow, you'll come back for her granny!

- Ah! - I don't want soup. I want beer!

Okay. I'm good as new.

All clear?

Yeah. I think it's really great, that you give me a second chance.

And? How's the lovely granny today? - Oh, as usual, full of life.

Change the subject!

Let put your fingers to her cheeky little ass!

What is it?

- This is a beautiful bird! - You love animals?

- Are you surprised? - This is Sebastian,

the pride of my father. He is a very rare species,

the Indonesian Cockatoo. - Well, Dicker. Ah!

You mustn't stick your finger in his cage. He was only defending himself.

- Is it always so aggressive?

No. Only when he sits in his cage. Watch out, usually he is very sweet.

He has never bitten anyone.

- Oh no. Watch out! - Ah!

Don't move, relax! Oh God ...

- This should help. - No!

- Ah! - Oh God! I'm sorry!

- Is this better? - Ah ...

- Sebastian did not mean to be bad. - Okay. You know, I love birds.

Sometimes I spend hours trying to feed the birds in the park.

Honestly? That's beautiful.

I'm always good for birds.

I think that birds are indeed to be outdoors. They'll be much happier.

And that's why I also help a group, to set up a nature reserve.

- So, the animals have a home. - Wow. That sounds exciting.

There is a meeting tonight

- Would you like to go? - Yes, yes, yes. All that is needed.

Yes, of course. Even better!

I've got just the thing for you.

- Blue Sea? What should it be? - Oyster powder.

100 percent natural. Without additives. - My God, what am I to do with it?

That is aphrodisiac. Scatter it on her food or in her glass,

she will immediately think of sex. - Sounds great!

- I do not know. - Do a double for me!

What do you have to lose?

You go fishing but with a bait or not?

- And it always works? - Yep!

When we found Tipsy, he was a poor, abandoned dog,

nobody wanted to have. To survive, he ate rats and small birds.

He was not himself.

And he was so sad that he had a habit of sitting

in the middle of the traffic road

to wait for being rolled over.

But ... thanks to a six-week, extremely expensive treatment,

has enabled us to rehabilitate him fully

from his terrible death yearning to happy living.

And as a symbol for our efforts today, we would like to have Tipsy

auctioned to the highest bidder. The proceeds will, of course,

help other homeless animals. - Let me do this. - What?

I know a trick to raise the price.

So good. The opening bid is €10.

€10 from the young man

I hear €20? Somebody?

Sold to the young man in the forth line for €10!

Flo! That is so sweet of you. I never thought that you liked it

You would even buy it.

Sweet!

The little guy needs a lot running

He is so happy.

Hey, Flo ... tonight was very nice of what you did.

Well, it was nothing. When I saw the little guy, I thought,

I had to do something. Something told me so.

- Hey! - Oh, my God! Flo, do something!

Tipsy! Tipsy!

- Oh God, I daren't look! - Shit!

You have saved him!

Oh, Florian!

Uh ... Way! Bäh ...

Oh ... Haha ...

... Oh, yes. Oh God ...

Yes ... Shaking my salad!

Get lost!

- Hi. - Hi.

- Is Wanda at home? - She is sleeping, because ..

we had our Mum's Birthday celebrated just last night

Ah so. She forgot her pocket last night

Oh, thank you.

- I never knew she had a brother. - We are twins.

- We wonder if Wanda wants to go to a party. - A party?

- Yes. It is funny. Only girls! - Only girls? Is it true?

Yep. It is a kind of tradition. We do some silly girl stuff.

- For example? - I remember last year,

we were so drunk that the next morning, all woke up naked.

- It was madness! - That was the hammer.

That sounds so great! Wanda! I'll get her in short time.

Then she'll come fresh.

Uh ... Wanda? Wanda?

The sleep is still deep.

Set yourself like you are at home.

- Have we disturbed you? - Me? Nope ...

- I was watching ... a movie. - What then?

- Love Story. - Really? - Yes.

I'll go, wake up Wanda, then send her straight down.

Bye!

- Wanda! Your friends are here! - What is it?

- Hurry up and dress you up. - OK.

Oops!

Oh.

You know what? I think I must truly apologize you.

What for?

I thought you were one of those typical guys who just ...

you know, had his brain in his trousers

- But what was so wrong with you? - Me?

Well, with a woman like Ms. Müllerschön, that was rough. Why did you do that?

Well, you know, the truth is ... - Lie! Fast!

I passed crowds. I got dizzy before.

I remember only that I held something.

So that I did not fall over.

- Ah somehow funny. - Really? Do not know. I felt dizzy.

- Well, fortunately you were unhurt. - Wow, you're really on top of lie.

Keep it on!

This is not Love Story.

... Yes, shake my salad!

- Hi, girls! - Hi, Wanda!

Let's party!

Excuse me in short time? I need times for small girls.

- This is classic. - Yes. Then go behind her!

Calm down! You're not going to ruin this evening.

Why should I want to foul you? Nobody wants you to succeed more than me.

Now! Hurry up and shoot that Oyster powder on her food.

- Stop it! Why should I do so? - Yes, on the safe side

or you will later regret. Hurry up before she comes back!

Okay. A little will not hurt.

More! Come on ... The bit is not enough! More!

That's better. Ah, I'm on starvation!

- Bon appetit. - What is that?

Uh ...

Ah, that's probably cheese. - Well, exactly.

Mh, delicious! It's a good idea, with the cheese.

- Want a taste? - No, no.

Wow. I have never been in a bar, just for ladies.

What a good idea!

- Yes. This place is our tradition. - Well! In the tradition!

I did not know that Red Bull is your brother.

Really? Yes.

- What a pity! - I've heard that he's a real asshole

No ... Well, actually ... he is very cool.

You need to know the truth of him

And he knows so much about everything.

- What, for example? - For example, on the ...

ancient secrets, women take the climax. Yes.

- Really? - Yes. Listening

At 10, he had the Kamasutra memorized and 15, the tantric sex

And last week, he has just refined the Taoist Chinese method.

What is the Taoist method?

Oh, that's the one where the man satisfies the woman in a whole week

and at the end of the week, he has a single orgasm only.

Are men like that real?

- That sounds too good to be true. - Oh yes, this is it. And I'll tell you:

If he was not my brother,

I would all day long only have dirty sex with him.

- OK, Wanda. Are you ready? - Ready for what?

It is a surprise.

I love surprises. If so, go on

- Another surprise for you. - Ready?

The bad Wanda is ready for all outrages.

Except for that.

You know, many people have prejudices against me.

I know exactly your real problem. That is so unfair!

As for me, so many people have prejudices too.

- What do you mean? - Because I don't have a boyfriend

People said that I was jammed or incapable of, cold.

It's not true. You know, I want to find the right guy,

close with him before we can be together ... really be in love with each other.

- Yes, exactly. - In fact,

in a relationship, there are 3 things totally important. The first is honesty.

Yes. Well, honesty is with me even on the very top, before anything else.

- Well, faithfulness is equally important. - Sure, in any case.

- Uh ... and the third thing? - No sex before marriage.

Huh?

That was just a joke.

You should have seen your face!

Ah!

Bitch.

Urg ...

Wanda, please! I'm sorry.

It was. I'm not one of those girls!

It did not mean evil. It was just our tradition with new girls.

- Great tradition! - Oh, Wanda ...

Do not be angry, OK!

Actually, you should feel flattered.

The guy was totally on you. The guys are professionals!

I've never seen one of those guys getting hard

Hmm, somehow I like this. I'm getting horny.

Horny?

Ah ... ah!

Mh ..

Ah ...

Ah ...

Ah ... mh ...

Ah, ah ...

Ah, ah ...

Ah ... Ah ...

Ah!

Oh ...

Finally!

Come to Papa!

Ah!

Hey! My money! What about my money?

- That is so romantic here. - Yes.

Oh man! The oyster powder does not work! I've got it! Shoot it into her glass more!

Drive her somehow. - Do you know what I've read today?

Today there are many shooting stars. - Really? - Yes.

More ... More! - I see nothing. - More!

- There is one on the top! - Oh, come on?

I've heard that a wish under a shooting star would come true.

Have you got a wish?

Yes.

- What is it? - Your nose...

Oh, oh God, it is embarrassing!

Hopefully I will not drool.

Sorry! Were there any seafood in the food?

No.

It's funny. I am totally allergic to seafood.

Aha. So how about oysters?

Oysters? They are the worst. In child times, I almost died because of them.

Oh God, this is embarrassing.. Well, so what?

Why ruin a nice evening? It's probably nothing.

- Bottom up! - No!

Ambulance!

Hey.

- Stop! - She stole my 200 euros

Yes! Huh ...

- She's mine. - But not here in front of audience!

You see money I paid? You see money I paid?

- I'm afraid the news is not good. - No!

- Can I openly speak with you? - Please.

Because of her age, there are few options. I would recommend to pull the plug off.

What?

Yes! If she lives, she'll spend a vegetable life.

- Oh, my God. - If she even survives,

I believe she will slowly and painfully lose herself over the next few days.

- I'll never forgive myself, doctor! - This is a difficult decision,

- Mr Mueller, but ... - What? - Hmm?

I'm not Mr. Mueller.

Oh. I'm sorry.

Oh, my God!

Oh, great. We are alone. Let us begin with the treatment!

- What did you do? Again? - The poor girl suffered so much

- We should cuddle her. - What?

- Should I rape her during her sleep? - No! Just sit next to her

and be a bit nice to her.

A relaxing breast massage is exactly what she needs now.

It pleases her definitely. Trust me!

Did you see that? She will thank you later.

Why did you put oyster powder in my food?

Maja, let me explain.

You have explained enough

Goodbye.

- What the heck! How to win a girl. - Do you know it's time to muzzle in 10 minutes?

The nurse's tits were the hammers!

Shut up, I said!

- I'm sorry. - My pleasure.

- Quick, follow her. What are you waiting for? - No! I love Maya!

I love Maja ... She hates you.

You can be more like a weakling begging forgiveness.

Then you won't get any sex. Or you can be a man now

and take your fate to her ass

Hallelujah!

What can I do for you? Come into my office.

To be honest, I do not know if I really want this. I'm sorry.

Just because ... I love another.

Ah!

Help!

Help!

Hallo. Excuse me, can you loose me?

Help! Can you give me maybe ...

You know what? You're really disturbing.

- No. No! Maja, wait! - What?

Wait!

- I, I must talk with you! - Speak

- Can you loose me first? - Nope.

OK ... Wait!

Listen! I, I've never so fallen in love with a girl before.

I'm so in love with you that I do not know what I do.

Do you understand? For the first time in my life ...

And what do I do? All power in my body makes me foul.

Ah ... oh!

If I could not win your trust. It's now or never. I accept that.

And then I'll miss the only chance of happiness in my life.

- That's why you wanted to poison me? - I did not want to poison you.

I thought that you liked me, that would not be enough.

Therefore, I put oyster powder in your food. It was aphrodisiac.

- Not for me. - Yes, I made a mistake.

- Can you forgive me again? - Did you really want me so much?

Do you know you look really silly there?

Do you want to go to a party with me?

Flo. This is your night. It can be no better opportunity to do it.

as the 99th birthday of Maja's grandma, in order to impress her family and friends.

- Hey, you bum! - But on the other hand ...

if you are again a sex offender, then you will never see Maja.

We must under no circumstances allow it. Wait

- Here. The answer to your problem. - What is this?

- A pocket pussy. - What? - A Plastic Pussy!

- With pimples! - Uh! The thing has beard!

It's easy to use. Just moisten, strictly stick and pump!

It's easier than riding a bicycle. And funnier!

- Hi. - Hi ... You look really nice.

Thank you. You also look good.

- What's that? - What? - Well, behind you?

- You mean, behind me? There is nothing there. - Clearly there is something.

Oh God, how sweet.

The small Tipsy. Tipsy. Yes, you sweet!

He's been following you.

We thought that we lost you, eh.

Tipsy! ... Shit!

We must find him before my father sees him.

He is allergic to dogs just as I am allergic to oysters!

Oh!

... Oh yeah, baby. Yes! Shake my salad!

Look!

How many times have I told you, you should not wank!

Wanking make you get very hairy hands!

Ah! Ah ...

Ah!

Watching Love story again?

- No, I've only ... - Speed up and get your sister.

OK.

Hallo, my sugar doll!

- Papi, this is Florian. - My great pleasure to know you.

I am also very pleased, Mr. Paradis.

Oh dear. I'm sorry.

- No problem. - Strange.

Are there any dogs?

Nope.

Sorry, Florian.

Never mind.

- We must get rid of Tipsy! - Maja, Florian!

- It is nice to see you. - Good evening, Ms. Paradis.

Oh. This is my sister. Eva, Florian.

- Nice to know you, Florian. - The party can finally begin!

Come on, we'll be around, eh?

- She's a horny bitch! As usual... - Oh, really?

Really?

Hallo, my love. - Good evening. Hallo.

- The dressing rooms are over there. - Where is your granny?

I hope she does not drink much. It is not good for her heart.

It also makes flatulence. First, we must find Tipsy.

Yes.

- People said it was because of time? - No, only a bit

We sould do this more often. Tomorrow night or something.

Oh, Silke. I do not know when was the last time I had so much fun.

Me neither.

Michaela has a sweet little ass.

I think I'm jealous.

Hey, girls. Louise is in the pool. The water is warm! Come along!

The last one will lose!

Come on, it is nice.

Oh, swim?

- Tipsy! - Tipsy!

- Shit! Tipsy! - Tipsy!

Could you two children go in the garage and pick an ice pack?

- Sure, Ms. Paradis. - Thank you.

No! It's Ferrari!

My father would swap me, my mother and his bird for that car.

Oh, a bit messy.

Perhaps we should simply pick the ice and then go out.

- Someone left it open? - Ah!

It is all melted.

Sorry, but you look so funny.

- What? - Titillate her. It works!

Stop it.

Perfect time. Now grab her!

Maja. In the last few days I had ... Oh!

Wow. You really know where it's is. Fast, spur it on!

- It feels great, Maja. - But I do nothing.

Yet. Crazy! Oh!

Tipsy!

Ah!

Super jump, Louise! Great attitude, Michaela!

Silke, toddleee!

I bet you dare not be naked under water!

Oops! I got wrong.

- Wanda, come here. The water's great! - No, my body shape is not as beautiful as yours.

And I have a great view up here !

Wow! Uh!

My God, Wanda, I never knew your boobs were so big.

You have at least triple-Ds!

Oops! There was at least half of the pool in them!

What is going on here?

Flo had a small accident.

With Ice Cream!

Health, Papi.

I can not help. I smell a dog here!

- Use the bathroom on the first floor. - OK.

I must find Tipsy.

- Oh my God, my Muschi bag! - Your what?

Oh. What do we have here?

- Oh. - Hallo.

- Oh, dear God, thank you! - That's not the work for a man.

Hey. Wait a minute.

Hallo. Hi. I am here down below! - Why are they just so messy, young man?

Small accident. 'Sorry,

- Can I take them back? - Oh! Is there someone totally excited?

- No! I want my pants back! - And what is that?

That's me!

Oh!

Oh! Hallo! Maja, treasure, your friends are here! Come in.

If you come here! Oh, hi, guys.

- Oh, kookoo! - Hi. We celebrate Wanda admitted, is it OK?

Sure, come in

Where is your lover, girlfriend?

Oh.

Hoppala.

- Go! Get ready for me! - No! No!

- I did not mean to disturb. Sorry. - Maja! Wait.

Let her go, she'd better go away

No! You don't understand. I love her.

- Shit! - Where were we?

- Open it! I need it! - Oh, my God! It's granny!

If she sees us together, she'll get a heart attack!

- Quick, hide yourself! - What? Here?

- Faster! Do it! - What is going on? Damn it!

- What, what's this? - Keep it!

Open the damn door! Damn it!

Open it!

Stupid cow!

- Do you know what I would wish? - Hmm?

I would hope just one typical man, who simply says that

he wants to put me over the knees, slap my ass and rip my clothes off.

No fairy tale, just the truth.

That would be so refreshing. Do you agree?

Yes.

Wanda, your brother Red Bull looks like he is that sort of guy.

The one who knows what girls want, the deeds and not mediocrity.

A pity that he is not here tonight.

Oh, how clumsy of me. I'll be back.

Come on, get out of here, Aunt Eva is looking for you! - Shut up.

At last!

Damn! It's blocked! Where is the plunger?

Hey, hey, watch out.

- Maja. What is happening? - Wanda! Men are such pigs!

- What happened, Sweetie? - I caught my aunt and Flo

holding a vibrator in the bathroom.

Oh, not bad! I mean, how bad!

Men are so faithless, mendacious, sex obsessed cheaters!

Ah, but you know what people say: Guys are just guys.

Ah!

Oh, Silke, you are here? What a surprise.

Yes. Your sister and I, we have just talked about you.

Oh. What a coincidence.

- Strange. She was still here. - You know, Silke, I've thought of me,

it would be very refreshing,

- and if I tell you what I really think. - You really think about what?

To be honest, I'm not a man of the many words. The fact is

I know what a girl wants and prefer to let deeds speak.

Well, Silke, this is so: I like to put you across my knees,

slap your ass and rip your clothes off. - You pig!

- Thank God! Flo, you are here! - Yes.

- Has anyone accidentally seen Maja? - That can wait.

- I need your help now. - Yes, of course. But only if Maja ...

No. I need you now in a moment. Do me a favor.

Sit in the fireplace room with grandma. With all the alcohol in the blood,

she is not mentally good. Pay attention that she does not do silly, yes?

And remember: We rely on you.

Thank you!

Well, Ms. Paradis. Remember me? This is such an honor ...

Miss Paradis?

Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you ...

That is not what it looks!

Happy birthday to y. ..

Oh! I ... my ... Oh God.

I am so terribly sorry. I, I know no more ...

- No! - Oh.

Tipsy, out!

Tipsy!

Get out of my house!

Give me beer!

Out!

Florian!

- Maja, I'm ... - Wait. Let me first talk this time.

When I knew you, I thought you were interested in sex only.

Then I got to know you better, I thought

that you really loved me and with us that was special.

And then I saw you with my aunt

Sure, there were some misunderstandings and I am not perfect.

But what should this be?

Boah! Aunt Eva looks delicious to bite.

You are hopeless! I never want to see you again!

What the heck. Let us seek Aunt Eva.

Now that's enough! You said for the last time!

What do you mean?

Au! What should this be?

- That's enough. I've got enough with you monster! - Hey, don't be so hasty.

- We can certainly discuss! - There is nothing to discuss!

That incident with my teacher was bad enough.

Because of you I would have my girl, that I love, almost poisoned.

The girl that can save me! And then you led me with her aunt

in her house, on her granny's birthday! - Accidents happened

They were no accidents! You just want to have sex.

Every day. Every hour! All the time! - But what's so wrong?

What is wrong? You have my life ruined. Without Maja, you are nothing.

I want no other girl! If I do not have Maja,

I need you no more! - I will change, I promise.

I will be honest. Trust me! - It is now too late.

But ... - Say goodbye!

Stop!

Is he ...

I'm still here.

- Maybe we'll need him. - Phew!

Oh!

I've heard everything, what you said.

What is it? Don't you like me? - No ... But!

I mean, Maja, I love you.

It's just... wait! I'll be back in a moment.

What's your problem? Isn't this what you wanted?

Not just with one girl. Well, it is strange

This is your thing, not mine. I'm too young for monogamy!

Just give me peace for a year. Three months. - 3 months. - 8 months.

4 months. - 6 months! 6 months? - Yes!

OK. But only 6 months.

Good day!

Wow!

Wow!

Should I stay here or can you apologize me for?

Are you still angry? I thought things were over.

I thought your behaviour wasn't that bad, after all.

- Really?

You were just honest, weren't you?

Yes, yes.

Moreover, your "sister" told me. Well... from your studies

- My sister? - Wanda, you know what I mean.

- Nee. - It's the Chinese way...

Also called the Taoist method.

Uh ...

Talk Chinese to me, you dog!

- What's the surprise? - Exactly!

- Yes, you'll see in a second. - We've got something for your information.

Flo, it is not a surprise? Your favorite movie!

That's so romantic.

... David, I want to help you.

- Wendy is dead - I'm sorry.

Love means not to say sorry.

Translated from German by Q. (Also referred to Dutch and Norwegian versions)

Herr Doctor? How's my wife?

- Well. Who are you? - Mr. Mueller.

Oh.

German subtitles by Vicomedia in 08/02. Ripped by SkyFury