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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:39,217 --> 00:00:42,050 Dear Jamie, when we're together, 2 00:00:42,050 --> 00:00:45,508 I feel like we're not in high school, 3 00:00:45,508 --> 00:00:48,758 but in our own little Chris-andJamie world. 4 00:00:48,758 --> 00:00:51,133 Whether we're watching "Party of Five" 5 00:00:51,133 --> 00:00:53,675 or practicing our cheers, 6 00:00:53,675 --> 00:00:56,842 I feel like I can just be myself. 7 00:00:56,842 --> 00:01:01,175 Jamie, we've been friends for a really long time, 8 00:01:01,175 --> 00:01:03,175 but I want to be more than that. 9 00:01:03,175 --> 00:01:05,633 I don't think so. 10 00:01:08,175 --> 00:01:10,217 Hoping to be your boyfriend. 11 00:01:10,217 --> 00:01:12,217 Sincerely, Chris Brander. 12 00:01:12,217 --> 00:01:13,883 BFF! 13 00:01:42,800 --> 00:01:45,550 - Get out of my room! - Mom! 14 00:01:45,550 --> 00:01:48,717 Stupid! Anybody ever hear of privacy around here?! 15 00:02:00,092 --> 00:02:01,800 Jamie! 16 00:02:01,800 --> 00:02:03,592 Yeah, I signed your yearbook. 17 00:02:03,592 --> 00:02:06,092 You feel the same way about me? 18 00:02:06,092 --> 00:02:07,717 You want a kiss? 19 00:02:09,717 --> 00:02:12,217 Jamie, I signed your yearbook. 20 00:02:12,217 --> 00:02:14,175 Jamie, I'm opening your gate. 21 00:02:31,592 --> 00:02:33,425 What's up, guys? 22 00:02:33,425 --> 00:02:35,425 Class of '95. 23 00:02:35,425 --> 00:02:38,758 Hey, what's up, Leon, Trevor? Great season. Great. 24 00:02:42,258 --> 00:02:44,258 I love you. 25 00:02:44,258 --> 00:02:47,217 - Hey, guys. - Chris Brander, ladies and gentlemen! 26 00:02:47,217 --> 00:02:49,425 - Happy graduation, Chris. - What's going on? 27 00:02:49,425 --> 00:02:51,467 I thought it was supposed to be just the four of us. 28 00:02:51,508 --> 00:02:53,175 The Palaminos decided to throw Jamie 29 00:02:53,175 --> 00:02:55,758 - a surprise graduation party. - That's just great! 30 00:02:55,758 --> 00:02:58,467 - Tonight's the night. - Where is she? 31 00:02:58,467 --> 00:03:01,175 I think I saw her go in the garage with the football team. 32 00:03:02,383 --> 00:03:05,008 - Sweet. - Hey. No fear, Chris? This is your 33 00:03:05,175 --> 00:03:07,967 - chance to get out of the "friend zone." - Yeah. 34 00:03:07,967 --> 00:03:09,925 Okay. 35 00:03:17,425 --> 00:03:19,925 Jamie. 36 00:03:19,925 --> 00:03:23,008 - Chris! - Yay! 37 00:03:23,008 --> 00:03:26,633 You came, finally! I'm so happy. 38 00:03:26,633 --> 00:03:29,717 Oh, come on, come on! 39 00:03:37,508 --> 00:03:39,967 Oh my God, we graduated! 40 00:03:43,675 --> 00:03:44,883 - God. - Yeah. 41 00:03:44,883 --> 00:03:47,300 What's up? 42 00:03:47,300 --> 00:03:50,342 There's something I've been meaning to say to you. 43 00:03:50,342 --> 00:03:52,592 Jamie! There you are. 44 00:03:52,592 --> 00:03:55,175 - Hey, Tim. - Shut up, chubs. 45 00:03:55,175 --> 00:03:57,592 Funny guy! 46 00:03:57,592 --> 00:03:59,925 Jamie... 47 00:03:59,925 --> 00:04:03,217 - will you sign my yearbook, please? - Can I do it later, Tim? 48 00:04:03,217 --> 00:04:05,967 Can I do you later? 49 00:04:09,342 --> 00:04:10,925 I need a beer! 50 00:04:11,092 --> 00:04:13,550 I can't believe... 51 00:04:13,550 --> 00:04:15,383 - I went out with him. - You went out with him. 52 00:04:15,425 --> 00:04:18,175 Jinx! 1-2-34-5-6-7, can't say a thing till I say... 53 00:04:24,008 --> 00:04:26,425 Come in. 54 00:04:28,717 --> 00:04:31,383 - Hi. Hi, Jamie. - Hey, Dusty. 55 00:04:32,633 --> 00:04:34,883 I was hoping I'd find you here. 56 00:04:34,883 --> 00:04:36,633 I didn't know you played guitar. 57 00:04:36,633 --> 00:04:38,633 I really... 58 00:04:38,633 --> 00:04:41,592 I really want to be a famous musician. 59 00:04:41,592 --> 00:04:44,467 And I wrote you a song. 60 00:04:44,467 --> 00:04:47,842 He wrote me a song! That's so cute. 61 00:04:47,842 --> 00:04:49,592 It's called "Jamie Smiles." 62 00:04:57,133 --> 00:04:58,508 Hold on. 63 00:05:05,675 --> 00:05:07,300 He's crazy. 64 00:05:09,258 --> 00:05:12,258 God damn it! Come on, Dusty! 65 00:05:12,258 --> 00:05:15,883 Dusty, come here. 66 00:05:15,883 --> 00:05:18,008 Maybe you should come back another time when you're... 67 00:05:18,008 --> 00:05:20,258 - Oh, no, I got it. - You can come back 68 00:05:20,258 --> 00:05:22,258 and then play it for us later, okay? 69 00:05:22,258 --> 00:05:24,383 - I really... I've got it. It's beautiful. - Yeah. 70 00:05:24,383 --> 00:05:26,175 - It is. - Bye, Dusty. 71 00:05:27,925 --> 00:05:29,675 Jesus. 72 00:05:29,675 --> 00:05:31,300 Yeah. 73 00:05:31,300 --> 00:05:33,467 I almost forgot. 74 00:05:33,467 --> 00:05:36,717 I got you a little something right here. 75 00:05:36,717 --> 00:05:38,717 Okay. Now I know it's a little dorky, 76 00:05:38,717 --> 00:05:40,717 but I had to do it. 77 00:05:40,717 --> 00:05:42,717 So look at it. 78 00:05:42,717 --> 00:05:44,717 Will you put it on for me? 79 00:05:44,717 --> 00:05:46,592 - Now? - Please, please? Put it on. 80 00:05:46,592 --> 00:05:49,133 - Okay. Quickly. - Okay okay okay okay. 81 00:05:49,133 --> 00:05:50,883 - I think it's gonna fit. - Yeah. 82 00:05:50,883 --> 00:05:53,092 - Let's see. - Okay. 83 00:05:53,092 --> 00:05:54,967 - Here we go. - Okay. 84 00:05:59,842 --> 00:06:01,633 It's a little snug. 85 00:06:01,633 --> 00:06:04,133 Oh my God, isn't that so cute? 86 00:06:04,133 --> 00:06:06,133 "Shakes come and go, 87 00:06:06,133 --> 00:06:07,800 but friends are furrr-ever!" 88 00:06:07,800 --> 00:06:09,967 That's adorable! Let's go show my mom. 89 00:06:09,967 --> 00:06:12,050 She'll love it. Let's go show her. Come on. 90 00:06:12,050 --> 00:06:14,342 - Let's not. No no. Come on. - Chris, she's gonna love it! 91 00:06:14,342 --> 00:06:15,383 Just... just wait. 92 00:06:15,383 --> 00:06:18,508 - Just... we're busy! - Chris, are you okay? 93 00:06:18,508 --> 00:06:20,800 Yes, I'm fine. I just... 94 00:06:22,092 --> 00:06:23,758 I signed your yearbook. 95 00:06:26,383 --> 00:06:29,092 Read it... please. 96 00:06:29,092 --> 00:06:30,175 Okay. 97 00:06:34,342 --> 00:06:36,967 Please, God. 98 00:06:36,967 --> 00:06:40,550 "Stud muffin, getting it on in your love truck was hot!" 99 00:06:40,550 --> 00:06:42,925 Wait! That's not what I wrote! 100 00:06:42,925 --> 00:06:44,842 This is Tim's yearbook. 101 00:06:46,425 --> 00:06:49,050 - Chris? - Oh my God! 102 00:06:49,050 --> 00:06:51,508 Listen to this. Listen to this. 103 00:06:51,508 --> 00:06:53,342 "When we're together, I feel"... 104 00:06:53,342 --> 00:06:55,383 - Gimme! - "Like we're not in high school, but we're 105 00:06:55,383 --> 00:06:58,133 - "in our own Chris-andJamie little world." - Tim... okay. 106 00:06:58,133 --> 00:07:00,258 Okay. 107 00:07:00,258 --> 00:07:02,592 - "You're my best friend..." - Please, don't read that. 108 00:07:02,592 --> 00:07:04,592 "But I want to be more than that"? 109 00:07:06,133 --> 00:07:08,217 "Hoping to be your boyfriend. 110 00:07:08,217 --> 00:07:11,717 Sincerely, Chris Brander, BFF." 111 00:07:11,717 --> 00:07:14,758 It's a joke! That's a joke between me and Jamie! 112 00:07:14,925 --> 00:07:16,675 Holy shit! Check out his shirt! 113 00:07:24,758 --> 00:07:26,925 He's gonna cry. 114 00:07:26,925 --> 00:07:28,633 See ya! 115 00:07:29,842 --> 00:07:31,675 G'bye, fatty! 116 00:07:32,967 --> 00:07:34,550 Chris! 117 00:07:34,550 --> 00:07:37,008 Try a salad! 118 00:07:37,008 --> 00:07:38,883 - Chris! - Leave me alone! 119 00:07:39,050 --> 00:07:41,300 Don't worry about it. It happens to everybody. 120 00:07:41,300 --> 00:07:44,633 Chris! We need to talk about what you wrote. 121 00:07:44,633 --> 00:07:46,633 Is that really how you feel? 122 00:07:46,633 --> 00:07:49,217 I don't know. Maybe. Why? 123 00:07:49,217 --> 00:07:52,175 Because that's the nicest thing anyone's ever written me. 124 00:07:52,175 --> 00:07:54,342 It was? 125 00:07:54,342 --> 00:07:55,758 Yes. 126 00:07:55,758 --> 00:07:57,842 I love you, Chris... 127 00:08:00,925 --> 00:08:03,383 like a brother. 128 00:08:03,383 --> 00:08:07,175 - We're friends, right? - For sure! 129 00:08:09,258 --> 00:08:11,258 You pussy! 130 00:08:11,258 --> 00:08:12,758 Shut up, Tim! 131 00:08:15,050 --> 00:08:17,758 Don't you people have anything better to do?! 132 00:08:17,758 --> 00:08:19,717 God! Just leave him alone! 133 00:08:21,592 --> 00:08:23,717 You jerks! 134 00:08:23,883 --> 00:08:25,717 I'll show you! 135 00:08:25,717 --> 00:08:28,133 I'll show all of you! 136 00:08:28,133 --> 00:08:31,092 This town is full of losers 137 00:08:31,092 --> 00:08:32,842 and I'm pulling out to win! 138 00:08:32,842 --> 00:08:35,050 Chris! Chris, come back! 139 00:08:35,050 --> 00:08:38,508 - My name is Chris Brander! - Chris, let's talk! 140 00:08:38,508 --> 00:08:40,925 You remember that name! 'Cause I'm gonna be somebody! 141 00:09:06,967 --> 00:09:08,633 I don't know what to say. 142 00:09:08,633 --> 00:09:11,092 I mean, the sex is good, 143 00:09:11,092 --> 00:09:12,800 but I'm a person too. 144 00:09:12,800 --> 00:09:15,050 I mean, I have feelings and needs 145 00:09:15,050 --> 00:09:16,467 other than just physical! 146 00:09:16,467 --> 00:09:19,508 Don't you have anything to say for yourself? 147 00:09:20,883 --> 00:09:22,883 I think you've pretty much said it all. 148 00:09:22,883 --> 00:09:25,883 You know what? This just isn't working out. 149 00:09:25,883 --> 00:09:28,550 Have a great life, 'cause Athena's out! 150 00:09:31,425 --> 00:09:33,592 I don't know why you just don't take me serious! 151 00:09:39,883 --> 00:09:41,758 I guess Athena's out. 152 00:09:43,050 --> 00:09:44,383 God, can you believe that? 153 00:09:44,383 --> 00:09:46,383 I get dumped four days before Christmas. 154 00:09:46,383 --> 00:09:48,383 - I saw. - Yeah, and yet, you did nothing. 155 00:09:48,383 --> 00:09:50,133 Technically, that makes you an accomplice. 156 00:09:50,133 --> 00:09:51,633 Guilty as charged. 157 00:09:51,633 --> 00:09:54,342 You know, in some cultures they'd spank you for that. 158 00:09:54,342 --> 00:09:56,342 I love to travel. 159 00:09:57,675 --> 00:09:59,800 - Chris Brander. - I'm Mandy. 160 00:09:59,800 --> 00:10:02,550 Of course you are. You know, I know a song called "Mandy." 161 00:10:05,758 --> 00:10:07,467 He shoots, he scores. 162 00:10:10,800 --> 00:10:14,050 - Nice, nice! - Yeah, Brander! Great job, Brander! 163 00:10:14,050 --> 00:10:17,342 You're the bad bunny. No. No, that's you. 164 00:10:17,342 --> 00:10:19,633 You're the bad bunny. Yeah. 165 00:10:19,633 --> 00:10:21,425 Okay, that's enough out of you. 166 00:10:21,425 --> 00:10:23,508 Next time you call me, you call me collect. 167 00:10:23,508 --> 00:10:25,550 Okay. Bye-bye. 168 00:10:25,550 --> 00:10:28,258 - So how'd it go last night? - Home by 10:00. 169 00:10:28,258 --> 00:10:30,633 Pants off in front of the computer by 10:01. 170 00:10:30,633 --> 00:10:33,133 Nice. What about Sheila? Are you making any headway? 171 00:10:33,133 --> 00:10:35,092 We'll see. I'm taking her to lunch today... 172 00:10:35,092 --> 00:10:37,258 Don't... don't do that. 173 00:10:37,258 --> 00:10:39,008 - Okay? Don't do lunch. - Why? 174 00:10:39,008 --> 00:10:41,217 That's like the express lane to the friend zone. 175 00:10:41,217 --> 00:10:43,592 What the hell's the friend zone? 176 00:10:43,592 --> 00:10:45,800 See when a girl decides that you're her friend, 177 00:10:45,800 --> 00:10:47,425 you're no longer a dating option. 178 00:10:47,425 --> 00:10:49,967 You become a complete non-sexual entity in her eyes, 179 00:10:49,967 --> 00:10:51,800 like her brother. Or a lamp. 180 00:10:51,800 --> 00:10:53,425 I don't want to be a lamp. 181 00:10:53,425 --> 00:10:55,592 Yeah. Well, then don't be her friend, okay? 182 00:10:55,592 --> 00:10:58,800 Take that guy, for example. 183 00:10:58,800 --> 00:11:00,925 - You mean that couple? - No no no. 184 00:11:00,925 --> 00:11:03,550 No, I mean the guy that wishes they were a couple. 185 00:11:03,550 --> 00:11:05,383 - What is your point? - My point is... 186 00:11:05,383 --> 00:11:08,258 call Sheila, Ray. Call her right now. 187 00:11:08,258 --> 00:11:10,175 Move your day date to tonight. 188 00:11:10,175 --> 00:11:13,133 Play the entire thing aloof and no matter what you do, kiss her at the end. 189 00:11:13,133 --> 00:11:16,467 - 'Cause friends don't kiss. - All right. "Aloof." 190 00:11:16,467 --> 00:11:18,925 Hi. 191 00:11:22,550 --> 00:11:24,383 Straight to voicemail. 192 00:11:24,383 --> 00:11:27,050 Hope you're not too late. You may already be girlfriends. 193 00:11:27,050 --> 00:11:30,467 - Really? How will I know? - Look. It doesn't matter, okay? 194 00:11:30,467 --> 00:11:34,342 If you feel yourself going there, walk away. 195 00:11:34,342 --> 00:11:36,092 Where'd you come up with this theory? 196 00:11:36,092 --> 00:11:38,925 Some chick f'd me up in high school bad. 197 00:11:38,925 --> 00:11:41,300 Excuse me. Excuse me. 198 00:11:41,300 --> 00:11:42,842 Excuse you! 199 00:11:42,842 --> 00:11:44,508 I saw you flirting with me out there. 200 00:11:44,508 --> 00:11:46,758 How could you do that to your boyfriend? 201 00:11:46,758 --> 00:11:49,050 Who, him? We're just friends. 202 00:11:51,800 --> 00:11:54,633 Oh, no no no, I never said that, Lindsay. I wouldn't do that. 203 00:11:54,633 --> 00:11:56,800 No, I'm driving through a tunnel. 204 00:11:56,800 --> 00:11:59,342 Okay. One second here. Hey, Francine, you look great. 205 00:11:59,342 --> 00:12:02,758 - Thanks. - That color really brings out your legs. 206 00:12:02,758 --> 00:12:05,800 Hey, I don't even know you. Yeah.. 207 00:12:05,800 --> 00:12:07,467 That's great. Merry Christmas. 208 00:12:07,467 --> 00:12:09,675 I can still see it. I can still... rub harder! 209 00:12:09,675 --> 00:12:11,383 Don't dab at it! Rub it. 210 00:12:11,383 --> 00:12:13,592 Rub, rub it, rub it! 211 00:12:13,592 --> 00:12:15,842 Look, honestly, these pants make me look fat? 212 00:12:15,842 --> 00:12:17,675 - Well... - You're fired! 213 00:12:17,675 --> 00:12:19,592 - What? - I'm kidding. 214 00:12:19,592 --> 00:12:22,217 Who's got a Christmas present? 215 00:12:22,217 --> 00:12:23,842 I do. 216 00:12:23,842 --> 00:12:25,842 How you doing, boss? Merry Christmas. 217 00:12:25,842 --> 00:12:27,842 - I look fat in these pants? - Hell no. 218 00:12:27,842 --> 00:12:29,883 Excellent! So you're seeing your family 219 00:12:29,883 --> 00:12:32,092 - for the holidays. - Well, as a matter of fact... 220 00:12:32,092 --> 00:12:33,467 - Wait. You want anything? - No. 221 00:12:33,633 --> 00:12:36,425 Go! Wait. 222 00:12:36,425 --> 00:12:38,383 - Family. - Parents are separated. 223 00:12:38,383 --> 00:12:40,675 - Jersey's not my idea of a good time, so... - Fabulous. 224 00:12:40,675 --> 00:12:42,467 - Check this out. - Yeah. Great. Good. 225 00:12:42,467 --> 00:12:45,467 First up tonight, you've seen her in the pages of magazines, 226 00:12:45,467 --> 00:12:47,467 and well, the opening of practically anything, 227 00:12:47,467 --> 00:12:49,717 but what what you may not know about this "it" girl... 228 00:12:49,717 --> 00:12:51,508 is her humanitarian side. 229 00:12:51,508 --> 00:12:53,133 Hey, everyone. I'm Samantha James 230 00:12:53,133 --> 00:12:54,633 and I'm here with Mr. Cluck Cluck 231 00:12:54,633 --> 00:12:56,675 and my new best friend Wafoofi 232 00:12:56,675 --> 00:12:59,008 and we're part of a kick-ass humanitarian effort 233 00:12:59,008 --> 00:13:01,717 to help promote vegetarianism in third world countries, 234 00:13:01,717 --> 00:13:03,467 which is really really important. 235 00:13:03,467 --> 00:13:06,508 Okay, and speaking of really really important... 236 00:13:06,508 --> 00:13:09,175 I have some good news. 237 00:13:09,175 --> 00:13:10,967 I've been recording for my new album 238 00:13:10,967 --> 00:13:12,967 which I hope to have out early next... 239 00:13:14,467 --> 00:13:17,300 - I want that album. - What?! 240 00:13:17,300 --> 00:13:18,800 - Samantha James? - Yeah. 241 00:13:18,800 --> 00:13:20,883 No no no no. Listen to me very carefully now. 242 00:13:20,883 --> 00:13:23,175 Samantha James is a crazy person. 243 00:13:23,175 --> 00:13:25,342 Hey, you're the one that used to diddle her, not me. 244 00:13:25,342 --> 00:13:28,425 It was one date! And I ended up in the hospital. 245 00:13:28,425 --> 00:13:31,008 Have you seen this poster? Have you seen... 246 00:13:31,008 --> 00:13:32,842 - this poster? - Yeah, with the fruit. 247 00:13:32,842 --> 00:13:35,550 This is the hottest-selling poster in the United States. 248 00:13:35,550 --> 00:13:37,633 People love her. They love her! 249 00:13:37,633 --> 00:13:39,550 Who loves her? 250 00:13:39,550 --> 00:13:42,133 MTV just got her a new reality show next year. 251 00:13:42,133 --> 00:13:45,717 We time the CD release with the show, we got a guaranteed hit 252 00:13:45,717 --> 00:13:47,217 plus free promotion. 253 00:13:47,217 --> 00:13:49,800 - She's recording over... - I know where she's recording. 254 00:13:49,800 --> 00:13:53,092 Good. Good. Make me happy. 255 00:13:53,092 --> 00:13:54,925 Go away. Wait. Not you. 256 00:13:54,925 --> 00:13:56,842 Wait! 257 00:13:56,842 --> 00:13:59,883 You don't make me happy, I'm gonna find somebody else to make me happy. 258 00:13:59,883 --> 00:14:02,300 Loud and clear. Yeah. Clear as a bell. 259 00:14:02,300 --> 00:14:03,300 - Good. - Okay. 260 00:14:03,300 --> 00:14:04,842 What are you still doing here? 261 00:14:04,842 --> 00:14:06,092 Go! Go get me lobster! 262 00:14:06,092 --> 00:14:07,800 Go! Run! Lobster! 263 00:14:07,800 --> 00:14:09,717 Run away! Run! Daddy want a fish! 264 00:14:54,425 --> 00:14:57,342 Cut! Cut! 265 00:14:58,883 --> 00:15:01,967 Okay, Ron, which jokester changed the key on me? 266 00:15:01,967 --> 00:15:03,758 No one, Samantha. 267 00:15:03,758 --> 00:15:06,258 It's been the same key for the last 43 takes. 268 00:15:06,258 --> 00:15:09,883 Well, something's off then, because I'm just not feeling it, okay? 269 00:15:09,883 --> 00:15:11,758 God, I need my guitar. 270 00:15:11,758 --> 00:15:14,467 - We need to mix the tracks separately. - No! 271 00:15:14,467 --> 00:15:18,967 My lyrics say "dancing free with my guitar," Ron. 272 00:15:18,967 --> 00:15:21,175 So, I'm gonna be real, okay? 273 00:15:21,175 --> 00:15:23,633 I'm not gonna let you and Hong Kong Phooey up there 274 00:15:23,633 --> 00:15:27,300 turn me into some poppy bubblegum wannabe. 275 00:15:27,300 --> 00:15:29,300 Okay? I need to transcend! 276 00:15:29,300 --> 00:15:31,133 Are you guys even listening to me? 277 00:15:39,133 --> 00:15:41,092 She's all yours. 278 00:15:41,092 --> 00:15:43,258 Chris! 279 00:15:47,175 --> 00:15:49,883 Hey! 280 00:15:49,883 --> 00:15:53,175 I can't hear you, Samantha. I can't hear you, Samantha. 281 00:15:54,258 --> 00:15:55,425 Can't hear you. 282 00:15:55,425 --> 00:15:59,258 Light bulb. There you go. 283 00:16:02,467 --> 00:16:04,675 Oh my God, I don't believe it! 284 00:16:04,675 --> 00:16:06,800 God, I've missed you. 285 00:16:06,800 --> 00:16:08,717 Okay. 286 00:16:12,592 --> 00:16:15,508 Wait a minute. Are you here because you miss me, 287 00:16:15,508 --> 00:16:18,217 or are you just here because your boss wants to sign me? 288 00:16:20,008 --> 00:16:22,092 Both? 289 00:16:22,092 --> 00:16:24,842 That's cool. Guess I missed you too. 290 00:16:26,092 --> 00:16:28,175 God, I want to lick your skin off! 291 00:16:28,175 --> 00:16:30,300 - I prefer you didn't. - But I want to. 292 00:16:30,300 --> 00:16:32,633 Don't. 293 00:16:35,967 --> 00:16:38,633 You're gonna get it. You're gonna get it, baby. 294 00:16:38,633 --> 00:16:42,050 - I don't want it. - Bad kitty. Meow, meow. 295 00:16:42,050 --> 00:16:44,217 - Okay. - Listen, what're you doing 296 00:16:44,217 --> 00:16:46,675 - over the holidays? - I'm going to Santa Barbara... 297 00:16:46,675 --> 00:16:47,925 'Cause Paris is throwing a Christmas bash in Paris. 298 00:16:47,925 --> 00:16:49,508 Okay, Paris isn't gonna work for... 299 00:16:49,508 --> 00:16:51,675 I'm gonna call my assistant and we're gonna go tonight. 300 00:16:51,675 --> 00:16:54,008 We can work and play. Mreow. 301 00:16:54,008 --> 00:16:56,258 Oh my God! I just wrote a new song. You have to hear it! 302 00:16:59,925 --> 00:17:01,758 This one's called "Forgiveness." 303 00:17:42,092 --> 00:17:44,383 So what did you you think? 304 00:17:46,550 --> 00:17:49,342 I mean, my God! 305 00:17:49,342 --> 00:17:51,383 Oh my God, you're sweet. 306 00:17:52,758 --> 00:17:55,342 - What is that? - This is a taser gun. 307 00:17:55,342 --> 00:17:57,842 My publicist gave it to me to ward off stalkers. 308 00:17:57,842 --> 00:18:00,092 Bam! 309 00:18:00,092 --> 00:18:03,675 Ahi tuna. 310 00:18:03,675 --> 00:18:06,508 - You want some? Yummy yummy. - I'll pass. 311 00:18:06,508 --> 00:18:08,883 Ahi! 312 00:18:08,883 --> 00:18:11,717 I'm so glad KC got us back together. 313 00:18:11,717 --> 00:18:13,592 Yeah, you're awful. 314 00:18:13,592 --> 00:18:16,175 Hey, I have a great idea. 315 00:18:16,175 --> 00:18:18,508 What if on our way to Paris we stop off in Ireland 316 00:18:18,508 --> 00:18:20,383 and find out where U2 lives? 317 00:18:20,383 --> 00:18:23,258 What if we got someone like Bono to sing backup? 318 00:18:28,758 --> 00:18:30,800 Wouldn't that be amazing? 319 00:18:30,800 --> 00:18:33,550 What if I added more vibrato? 320 00:18:53,633 --> 00:18:56,425 Okay. Who's the genius behind this? 321 00:18:56,425 --> 00:18:58,758 The container said "microwavable." 322 00:18:58,758 --> 00:19:00,342 But the aluminum foil wasn't. 323 00:19:00,342 --> 00:19:02,925 Well, I'm not supposed to worry about stuff like that. 324 00:19:02,925 --> 00:19:04,425 I'm the talent. 325 00:19:04,425 --> 00:19:06,842 Daddy, we're down. 326 00:19:06,842 --> 00:19:08,842 Not exactly warm out here, is it? 327 00:19:08,842 --> 00:19:11,925 - How long till we're airborne again? - Nice plane! 328 00:19:11,925 --> 00:19:14,592 - Not till tomorrow. - Terrific. Where are we? 329 00:19:14,592 --> 00:19:16,217 Not happy! 330 00:19:16,217 --> 00:19:19,050 We're on a private field an hour outside of Trenton. 331 00:19:19,050 --> 00:19:22,050 Jersey? We're in New Jersey? 332 00:19:22,050 --> 00:19:25,092 Hey, wait a minute. Am I being Punk'd? 333 00:19:25,092 --> 00:19:27,050 Where's Ashton? 334 00:19:27,050 --> 00:19:28,092 Ashton! 335 00:19:28,092 --> 00:19:30,092 My God! 336 00:19:30,092 --> 00:19:32,092 You totally got me! 337 00:19:32,092 --> 00:19:33,842 Ashton? 338 00:19:36,050 --> 00:19:38,675 I love it that you're taking me home to meet your mom. 339 00:19:38,675 --> 00:19:40,633 Was this one of your clever little plans? 340 00:19:40,633 --> 00:19:42,883 Yes. I planned you setting the plane on fire. 341 00:19:44,050 --> 00:19:46,925 Surprise! 342 00:19:51,592 --> 00:19:54,092 Oh, my little boy. 343 00:19:57,925 --> 00:19:59,800 Be right down. 344 00:20:47,425 --> 00:20:49,800 I do not remember Jersey being this cold. 345 00:20:49,800 --> 00:20:52,342 Well, it's been uncommonly cold this month. 346 00:20:52,342 --> 00:20:55,675 We've gone through seven bags of rock salt. 347 00:20:55,675 --> 00:20:57,425 Your house is just so quaint, Mrs. Brander, 348 00:20:57,425 --> 00:20:59,967 I mean, Chris, you never told me you were so provincial. 349 00:20:59,967 --> 00:21:02,342 It's like a true rags to riches story, 350 00:21:02,342 --> 00:21:05,008 but I've always found the middle class to be just so much more real. 351 00:21:06,342 --> 00:21:08,717 I mean, isn't Chris great? 352 00:21:08,717 --> 00:21:10,717 Yeah, he is a nice boy. 353 00:21:10,717 --> 00:21:14,050 You know, he usually flies us out to Los Angeles. 354 00:21:14,050 --> 00:21:16,050 It's been... 355 00:21:16,050 --> 00:21:18,425 nine, 10... 356 00:21:18,425 --> 00:21:20,633 - It's 10 years. Yeah. - 10? 357 00:21:20,633 --> 00:21:23,008 10 years since he's been home. 358 00:21:23,008 --> 00:21:25,508 - All right. Good job, Dougie. - Hi, honey! 359 00:21:28,592 --> 00:21:30,342 Oh my God. 360 00:21:30,342 --> 00:21:33,342 - Mikey. - Oh my God! 361 00:21:34,967 --> 00:21:38,258 - Is that my Christmas present? - Sam, my younger brother Mike. 362 00:21:38,258 --> 00:21:40,967 - Samantha James. - Samantha James. 363 00:21:40,967 --> 00:21:43,342 Mike Brander. It is an honor. 364 00:21:43,342 --> 00:21:45,633 I have your poster on my wall, 365 00:21:45,633 --> 00:21:48,883 - but you are way hotter in person. - I know! 366 00:21:49,050 --> 00:21:51,592 - You have her poster on your wall? - Yeah. 367 00:21:51,592 --> 00:21:53,717 I slapped the ham to it like an hour ago. 368 00:21:53,717 --> 00:21:55,758 What ham did you slap? 369 00:21:55,758 --> 00:21:58,342 Not the ham that I just bought? 370 00:21:58,342 --> 00:22:01,467 Oh, Mrs. Brander, do you have anything else besides ham? 371 00:22:01,467 --> 00:22:03,258 Because I'm on the Perricone diet 372 00:22:03,258 --> 00:22:05,133 and I need salmon like now. 373 00:22:05,133 --> 00:22:08,675 I love salmon. It's the prettiest color for bedrooms. 374 00:22:08,675 --> 00:22:11,758 - So relaxing. - I'm gonna start drinking. 375 00:22:11,758 --> 00:22:13,758 Does anybody want anything? Some coffee? 376 00:22:13,925 --> 00:22:15,592 Maybe some salmon or something? 377 00:22:15,592 --> 00:22:17,592 Just gonna... 378 00:22:17,592 --> 00:22:19,300 yeah. 379 00:22:19,300 --> 00:22:21,008 Mike! Good to be home. 380 00:22:29,175 --> 00:22:32,883 Oh, boy. Okay. 381 00:22:32,883 --> 00:22:36,425 Hi. Yes, I know, very exciting. 382 00:22:36,425 --> 00:22:39,092 Hi. Hi. 383 00:22:39,092 --> 00:22:41,092 Chris, let's get it to go. 384 00:22:41,092 --> 00:22:43,133 People are staring at me. 385 00:22:44,717 --> 00:22:46,717 Oh my God... plastic menus! 386 00:22:46,717 --> 00:22:49,508 Well, this isn't gonna work, is it now, Chris? 387 00:22:49,508 --> 00:22:50,467 Chris? 388 00:22:53,592 --> 00:22:55,633 Excuse me, but I was wondering if you think 389 00:22:55,633 --> 00:22:57,758 America will ever switch to the metric system? 390 00:22:57,758 --> 00:22:59,508 Well, that's a very interesting... 391 00:23:01,175 --> 00:23:04,800 - Oh my God! Chris! - I don't believe this! 392 00:23:04,800 --> 00:23:08,050 - God, you look great! - I don't... you look great! 393 00:23:08,050 --> 00:23:10,592 - Well, thank you! How you been? - We're married. 394 00:23:10,592 --> 00:23:12,758 - You're married! - Married? 395 00:23:12,758 --> 00:23:15,383 - Oh, yeah, we're married, we got a kid. TJ. - We have a son. TJ. 396 00:23:15,383 --> 00:23:17,592 - TJ! - He looks like me. He's got Clark's eyes... 397 00:23:17,592 --> 00:23:19,633 Oh my God! Where does the time go? 398 00:23:19,633 --> 00:23:22,592 He's like the creative mind kid, he's like, brilliant and you can meet him. 399 00:23:22,633 --> 00:23:24,842 - That's great! - God, look at those teeth! 400 00:23:24,842 --> 00:23:26,800 Those are some nice veneers you got, my friend. 401 00:23:26,800 --> 00:23:28,842 - Don't tell me that you're a dentist. - A dentist? 402 00:23:28,842 --> 00:23:32,633 - I totally sold out, dude. - Hey, you and me both, buddy. 403 00:23:32,633 --> 00:23:35,508 Hey, lover, aren't you gonna introduce me? 404 00:23:35,508 --> 00:23:37,175 Yes! 405 00:23:37,175 --> 00:23:38,967 Samantha, these are my old friends. 406 00:23:38,967 --> 00:23:41,217 This is Clark, this is Darla. 407 00:23:41,217 --> 00:23:44,300 Your names are "Clark" and "Darla"? 408 00:23:44,300 --> 00:23:45,508 Yeah. 409 00:23:45,508 --> 00:23:48,258 Oh my God, that is so cute! 410 00:23:48,258 --> 00:23:50,258 I just wanna eat you both up! 411 00:23:52,092 --> 00:23:55,050 Okay, I am gonna go to the little girl's room. 412 00:23:55,050 --> 00:23:57,008 - Good. - And then we're outie. 413 00:23:57,008 --> 00:23:59,842 - Okay. - Okay. 414 00:23:59,842 --> 00:24:02,800 She's... incoming. 415 00:24:02,800 --> 00:24:04,675 Oh my God. 416 00:24:04,675 --> 00:24:07,050 Check out that girl's ass. Huge! 417 00:24:08,508 --> 00:24:10,508 It was so nice meeting you. 418 00:24:12,300 --> 00:24:15,758 Darla. 419 00:24:19,633 --> 00:24:21,800 She's adorable. 420 00:24:21,800 --> 00:24:24,133 - And affectionate. - Christ sakes. 421 00:24:24,133 --> 00:24:27,217 - Chris Brander, ladies and gentlemen! - Yes! You guys, so good... 422 00:24:27,217 --> 00:24:29,592 Chris Brander? Chris Brander? 423 00:24:29,592 --> 00:24:31,217 Holy... 424 00:24:31,217 --> 00:24:34,883 I saw you at the Grammys sitting next to P. Diddy! 425 00:24:35,967 --> 00:24:37,717 It's me Tim. You remember? 426 00:24:37,717 --> 00:24:39,092 How could I forget you, Tim? 427 00:24:39,092 --> 00:24:41,092 Hey, you got $5 428 00:24:41,092 --> 00:24:43,175 that I can, like, have? 429 00:24:44,258 --> 00:24:46,300 Yeah. 430 00:24:46,300 --> 00:24:48,092 You keep living the dream, Tim. 431 00:24:48,092 --> 00:24:49,050 Done! 432 00:24:49,050 --> 00:24:50,258 Buh-bye now. 433 00:24:50,258 --> 00:24:53,300 - Class of '95! - Class of '95! 434 00:24:53,300 --> 00:24:55,092 Here's your money, bitch! 435 00:24:55,092 --> 00:24:57,383 - He looks good. - Man, I can't believe... 436 00:24:57,383 --> 00:24:59,592 wha... like what happened? Where did you go? 437 00:24:59,592 --> 00:25:02,425 Hey, you know... just migrated west. 438 00:25:02,633 --> 00:25:05,217 You know, I'm living the dream out there, I guess. 439 00:25:05,217 --> 00:25:07,342 I just stayed with my dad for awhile, and... 440 00:25:07,342 --> 00:25:10,758 yeah, hocked my soul for a record executive job... 441 00:25:10,758 --> 00:25:13,925 and started... I mean I had an internship first 442 00:25:13,925 --> 00:25:15,300 - a couple of years. - Right. 443 00:25:17,842 --> 00:25:20,133 Jamie. 444 00:25:24,217 --> 00:25:25,633 Jamie? 445 00:25:27,050 --> 00:25:29,717 - Chris, hi! - Hi! 446 00:25:29,717 --> 00:25:32,675 What are you doing down there? 447 00:25:32,675 --> 00:25:35,633 I'm just busted! 448 00:25:35,633 --> 00:25:39,217 How are you? Oh, shit. Hold on. 449 00:25:42,342 --> 00:25:44,133 Look at you! 450 00:25:44,133 --> 00:25:45,800 Oh my God, 451 00:25:45,800 --> 00:25:48,133 I can put my arms around you. 452 00:25:49,967 --> 00:25:52,633 - You look so great! Look at this body! - Thank you. 453 00:25:52,633 --> 00:25:54,425 - You're like a new man! - Yeah. 454 00:25:54,425 --> 00:25:57,425 These arms and your belly, 455 00:25:57,425 --> 00:25:59,508 and look at... pecs, and... 456 00:25:59,508 --> 00:26:02,133 Chris Brander. 457 00:26:02,133 --> 00:26:04,967 God. Jamie Palamino. 458 00:26:08,175 --> 00:26:11,092 So... so how long are you in town for? 459 00:26:11,092 --> 00:26:13,300 Just the night, actually. 460 00:26:13,300 --> 00:26:15,592 Just one night, really? You can't stay any longer? 461 00:26:15,592 --> 00:26:18,842 No. I wish I could, but I... 462 00:26:18,842 --> 00:26:20,758 Let's go, Chris. There's pee on the floor. 463 00:26:23,550 --> 00:26:27,175 - Yeah. - Okay... 464 00:26:27,175 --> 00:26:29,842 all right, well... 465 00:26:29,842 --> 00:26:33,467 - it's really great to see you again. - You too. 466 00:26:40,717 --> 00:26:42,633 Just give me a call sometime. 467 00:26:42,633 --> 00:26:44,758 I'm living with my parents. 468 00:26:44,758 --> 00:26:47,633 I know. I'm living with my parents. 469 00:26:49,050 --> 00:26:50,717 Okay, bye. 470 00:26:52,050 --> 00:26:53,967 - Bye. - Bye. 471 00:26:56,467 --> 00:26:59,633 Jamie Pal. 472 00:26:59,633 --> 00:27:01,133 She's like a box of fine wine. 473 00:27:01,133 --> 00:27:03,925 You would know. 474 00:27:03,925 --> 00:27:06,633 You know, in high school you'd never get a girl like that. 475 00:27:06,633 --> 00:27:08,592 And now you get whoever you want. 476 00:27:10,717 --> 00:27:13,467 I bet you could definitely hit Jamie Pal. 477 00:27:13,467 --> 00:27:15,925 - Definitely. - Okay. Okay. 478 00:27:20,842 --> 00:27:22,592 - Excuse me. - Oh yeah. 479 00:27:22,592 --> 00:27:24,883 You go! 480 00:27:24,883 --> 00:27:27,217 - Hey! - Hey! 481 00:27:27,217 --> 00:27:30,592 Look, there is a chance that my flight might be delayed an extra day. 482 00:27:30,592 --> 00:27:33,092 - What are you doing tomorrow? - Nothing. 483 00:27:33,092 --> 00:27:35,883 - Do you want to meet for lunch? - You mean like a day date? 484 00:27:35,883 --> 00:27:37,883 Yeah. 485 00:27:37,883 --> 00:27:39,383 Great! 486 00:27:39,383 --> 00:27:41,383 Chris! Chris! 487 00:27:41,383 --> 00:27:43,967 - I'll pick you up at noon. - Chris! Chris! 488 00:27:43,967 --> 00:27:47,217 - Chris! Chris! Chris! - Awesome, I'm really... 489 00:27:47,217 --> 00:27:50,508 - I'm busy! - I'm busy! Stupid dick! 490 00:27:50,508 --> 00:27:53,217 - That sounds awesome. I'll see you then. - Bye. 491 00:27:55,592 --> 00:27:57,383 Let's go. 492 00:27:59,300 --> 00:28:00,842 - What was that all about? - Nothing. 493 00:28:00,842 --> 00:28:02,467 It's just an old friend saying hi. 494 00:28:02,467 --> 00:28:04,467 Yeah, well, let's keep it that way. 495 00:28:04,467 --> 00:28:07,467 - It's not a handball. - My handball. 496 00:28:07,467 --> 00:28:09,800 Meow. Meow. 497 00:29:11,175 --> 00:29:12,550 Hey! Dumb-ass. 498 00:29:13,633 --> 00:29:14,883 Wake up. 499 00:29:14,883 --> 00:29:16,883 Hey, wake up. 500 00:29:16,883 --> 00:29:18,467 Morning. 501 00:29:21,467 --> 00:29:23,050 What? 502 00:29:23,050 --> 00:29:24,717 I need you to do me a favor. 503 00:29:24,717 --> 00:29:26,717 What do you want from me?! 504 00:29:26,717 --> 00:29:28,467 I ran into Jamie Palomino last night. 505 00:29:28,467 --> 00:29:30,550 Here we go again. 506 00:29:30,550 --> 00:29:32,883 I'm not the same person I was in high-school, pal. 507 00:29:32,883 --> 00:29:34,592 You'll always be fat to me, Chris. 508 00:29:34,592 --> 00:29:36,883 What do you want from me?! 509 00:29:36,883 --> 00:29:39,425 I need you to detain Samantha. 510 00:29:39,425 --> 00:29:40,967 I could do that. 511 00:29:41,342 --> 00:29:44,717 - Chris, wait! - It's a beautiful day. 512 00:29:44,717 --> 00:29:46,842 What about Paris? 513 00:29:46,842 --> 00:29:49,675 Look, Paris can wait. This is important. You don't wanna be 514 00:29:49,675 --> 00:29:51,842 - out of touch with your audience, do you? - No. 515 00:29:51,842 --> 00:29:53,842 No, well then, you need to connect with your audience, 516 00:29:53,842 --> 00:29:55,217 you need to feed off their energy. 517 00:29:55,217 --> 00:29:57,675 After all, they're the ones who're gonna be buying your album. 518 00:29:57,675 --> 00:29:59,717 The problem is where in New Jersey are we gonna find 519 00:29:59,717 --> 00:30:01,842 a proper cross-section of your fans? 520 00:30:03,175 --> 00:30:05,300 - The mall? - A mall! 521 00:30:05,300 --> 00:30:06,758 That's a great idea! 522 00:30:08,425 --> 00:30:10,383 - We have so much in common! - I know! 523 00:30:10,383 --> 00:30:12,383 - God. - Let's do it to it! 524 00:30:12,383 --> 00:30:14,217 I am not going with him! 525 00:30:14,217 --> 00:30:17,383 Look, what better way to relate to your fans than to go with one? 526 00:30:17,383 --> 00:30:19,383 In we go. 527 00:30:19,383 --> 00:30:21,925 Hey! You're not coming with me? 528 00:30:21,925 --> 00:30:24,342 No, sweetie. You need to do this alone. 529 00:30:24,342 --> 00:30:26,092 - I can't be your crutch. - But I... 530 00:30:26,092 --> 00:30:27,550 Watch your face! 531 00:30:27,550 --> 00:30:29,342 Buckle up! 532 00:30:35,592 --> 00:30:37,633 Great. That's good. 533 00:30:37,633 --> 00:30:39,133 That's looking good. 534 00:30:42,842 --> 00:30:45,717 Great, guys. Really good. 535 00:30:47,842 --> 00:30:50,258 Mr. Palamino, how you doing? 536 00:30:50,258 --> 00:30:52,133 Well well well, 537 00:30:52,133 --> 00:30:55,383 if it isn't Mr. Valentine's Day! 538 00:30:55,383 --> 00:30:58,758 This guy, every Valentine's Day, he'd buy Jamie like a dozen roses. 539 00:30:58,758 --> 00:31:01,633 Used to drive all her boyfriends nuts! 540 00:31:01,633 --> 00:31:04,592 Till we explained, of course, it was just her little friend Chris. 541 00:31:04,592 --> 00:31:06,633 Yeah, I remember that. 542 00:31:06,633 --> 00:31:09,092 You prick. 543 00:31:09,092 --> 00:31:12,050 I see you still have the best Christmas display in town, sir. 544 00:31:12,050 --> 00:31:14,258 - Hey! In the state! - Hey, Chris! 545 00:31:14,258 --> 00:31:16,008 I'll be right out. 546 00:31:16,008 --> 00:31:18,925 So, how'd you lose all that weight? 547 00:31:18,925 --> 00:31:21,592 Like that retard from Subway? 548 00:31:21,592 --> 00:31:22,967 It was great talking to you, sir. 549 00:31:25,467 --> 00:31:27,467 Are you kidding me? 550 00:31:27,467 --> 00:31:29,425 I rented the nicest Porsche in New Jersey. 551 00:31:29,425 --> 00:31:31,217 I'm just gonna play this whole thing aloof 552 00:31:31,217 --> 00:31:33,717 and she's gonna be eating out of the palm of my hand in no time. 553 00:31:33,758 --> 00:31:35,758 Gotta go. 554 00:31:35,758 --> 00:31:37,592 Hey. 555 00:31:37,592 --> 00:31:41,133 Porsche. Girls must love this. 556 00:31:41,133 --> 00:31:43,842 I hate this stupid thing too. It's a rental. 557 00:31:43,842 --> 00:31:46,842 So ostentatious. It's all they had left. 558 00:31:52,092 --> 00:31:55,133 - God, this place hasn't changed a bit. - I know. 559 00:31:55,133 --> 00:31:57,258 Are you sure that you don't want to go someplace else? 560 00:31:57,258 --> 00:32:00,300 - No, we can't leave. We have history here. - History. 561 00:32:00,467 --> 00:32:04,342 Oh my goodness, I remember you two. 562 00:32:04,342 --> 00:32:07,592 You're not a chubby bunny anymore. 563 00:32:07,592 --> 00:32:10,633 - Oh, my personal space. - I'll be right back. 564 00:32:10,633 --> 00:32:13,592 I've got a little surprise for you. 565 00:32:13,592 --> 00:32:15,925 Can't wait. 566 00:32:15,925 --> 00:32:17,467 Chubby bunny! 567 00:32:17,467 --> 00:32:20,217 Thanks for reminding me I was fat. 568 00:32:22,175 --> 00:32:24,217 So why did you disappear on me 10 years ago? 569 00:32:25,467 --> 00:32:27,758 Listen, about that... 570 00:32:27,758 --> 00:32:29,383 Where you that mad at me? 571 00:32:29,383 --> 00:32:32,800 Come on, Jamie. It was like 100 years ago, all right? 572 00:32:32,800 --> 00:32:35,175 I'm not that pathetic little dweeb anymore. 573 00:32:35,175 --> 00:32:38,967 You were never a dweeb, Chris. 574 00:32:38,967 --> 00:32:42,008 - So, tell me about your job. - Oh my God. 575 00:32:42,008 --> 00:32:44,425 You know, once you get over all the glamour, you know, it's... 576 00:32:44,467 --> 00:32:46,258 it's nothing but total insanity. 577 00:32:46,258 --> 00:32:49,008 You know, if it's not Pink calling you, then you got Good Charlotte... 578 00:32:49,050 --> 00:32:52,217 it's Jay Z's birthday party, you know, and I'm totally name-dropping right now 579 00:32:52,217 --> 00:32:54,800 and I'd really like to stop. Mick Jagger. How 'bout you? 580 00:32:54,800 --> 00:32:57,550 You know, what happened to you? How'd you end up working at The Maple? 581 00:32:57,592 --> 00:32:59,467 I don't work at The Maple. 582 00:32:59,467 --> 00:33:02,092 I mean, I work at The Maple but I don't really work at The Maple. 583 00:33:02,092 --> 00:33:03,717 - Yeah. - I'm studying to be a teacher 584 00:33:03,717 --> 00:33:05,300 so I'm living at home and I'm working... 585 00:33:05,300 --> 00:33:07,508 It's the coast. Be right back. 586 00:33:10,675 --> 00:33:12,758 What happened to him? 587 00:33:20,717 --> 00:33:22,467 This is gonna be a great song. "Mall People." 588 00:33:22,508 --> 00:33:24,217 "Mall people, they come and go... 589 00:33:24,383 --> 00:33:26,425 small people, they just don't know." 590 00:33:26,425 --> 00:33:29,050 - How's it goin'? - Fantastic. 591 00:33:29,050 --> 00:33:30,925 - How's it going with Jamie? - Treating her like 592 00:33:30,967 --> 00:33:32,967 - every boyfriend she's ever had. - You da man! 593 00:33:32,967 --> 00:33:35,342 - So I wanna run an idea by you. - No. 594 00:33:35,342 --> 00:33:38,717 Since you're trying to hook up with Jamie, what if I went to Paris with Samantha 595 00:33:38,717 --> 00:33:40,508 - instead of you? That way you... - No. 596 00:33:40,508 --> 00:33:42,300 - You haven't heard the whole thing yet! - No. 597 00:33:42,342 --> 00:33:44,842 You know what, just... just think about it and get back to me. 598 00:33:48,758 --> 00:33:51,633 - Oh my God! - I gotta go. 599 00:33:57,967 --> 00:34:00,258 - So, how's the coast? - Super. 600 00:34:00,425 --> 00:34:02,800 Here we go! 601 00:34:02,800 --> 00:34:05,508 One grilled cheese with ranch on the side 602 00:34:05,508 --> 00:34:09,717 and one Sugar Mountain Supreme for the chubby bunny. 603 00:34:09,717 --> 00:34:12,383 Excuse me, 604 00:34:12,383 --> 00:34:14,550 this-this... this isn't gonna work for me. 605 00:34:14,550 --> 00:34:17,258 But this is what you always order. 606 00:34:17,258 --> 00:34:20,258 Yeah. 10 years ago, when I was a whale. 607 00:34:20,258 --> 00:34:23,092 The pancakes are fine. He's just kidding. 608 00:34:23,092 --> 00:34:24,633 What? 609 00:34:26,342 --> 00:34:29,383 - Be more rude! - She's rude! She's rude! 610 00:34:29,383 --> 00:34:31,800 I haven't had sweets in 10 years, okay? Do you know 611 00:34:31,800 --> 00:34:34,300 - what this would do to my stomach? - Relax, little girl. 612 00:34:34,300 --> 00:34:37,258 I'll have the pancakes and you can have my sandwich, okay? 613 00:34:38,508 --> 00:34:40,842 I'll just enjoy this glass of water. 614 00:34:43,758 --> 00:34:45,467 I'm stuffed. 615 00:34:51,633 --> 00:34:54,550 Good times. Good times! 616 00:34:54,550 --> 00:34:56,092 - Yeah. - Yeah. 617 00:34:56,092 --> 00:34:58,133 - Thanks again for lunch. - I'll get your door. 618 00:34:58,133 --> 00:35:00,217 Okay. 619 00:35:00,217 --> 00:35:01,592 Shit. 620 00:35:06,883 --> 00:35:08,800 Yeah. 621 00:35:11,175 --> 00:35:13,633 Well, it was great seeing you again. 622 00:35:13,633 --> 00:35:15,133 You too. 623 00:35:15,133 --> 00:35:16,633 Yeah, glad I ran into you last night. 624 00:35:16,633 --> 00:35:18,633 Yeah, it was a surprise. 625 00:35:18,633 --> 00:35:20,633 Big surprise. Yeah. 626 00:35:20,633 --> 00:35:22,258 It's cold out here. 627 00:35:22,258 --> 00:35:24,300 Yeah, it is. It's like the South Pole. 628 00:35:24,300 --> 00:35:27,133 It's like the deep South Pole if there was one. 629 00:35:27,133 --> 00:35:28,925 There isn't, though. 630 00:35:28,925 --> 00:35:30,675 Thanks for walking me to my door. 631 00:35:30,675 --> 00:35:33,592 Yeah. Again, it was great seeing you... 632 00:35:33,592 --> 00:35:34,592 again. 633 00:35:34,592 --> 00:35:36,467 - You, too. - Yeah. 634 00:35:36,467 --> 00:35:38,758 Take care. 635 00:35:38,758 --> 00:35:40,967 Yeah, you too. 636 00:35:43,550 --> 00:35:45,383 That's good. 637 00:35:49,175 --> 00:35:51,508 - Take care. - You too. 638 00:36:15,967 --> 00:36:19,300 Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! 639 00:36:19,300 --> 00:36:21,092 What the hell?! 640 00:36:24,175 --> 00:36:26,092 God! 641 00:36:30,633 --> 00:36:32,467 Oh my God! 642 00:36:32,467 --> 00:36:35,175 It's the South Pole! It's the deep South Pole? 643 00:36:35,175 --> 00:36:37,217 It's the South Pole. The deep South Pole! 644 00:36:37,217 --> 00:36:39,342 I don't think there is one, but if there was one 645 00:36:39,342 --> 00:36:41,342 I bet it would be in the south! 646 00:36:50,800 --> 00:36:53,842 I left my gloves in the car. 647 00:37:00,592 --> 00:37:01,967 - There you go. - Thanks. 648 00:37:14,258 --> 00:37:16,133 Hey, look who's here! What's up, Hollywood? 649 00:37:16,133 --> 00:37:17,883 - How the big date go? - It was terrible. 650 00:37:17,883 --> 00:37:20,258 I went in for a kiss, but she wants a hug, okay? 651 00:37:20,258 --> 00:37:22,883 Then I get caught in a sort of kiss-hug limbo type thing. 652 00:37:22,883 --> 00:37:26,842 I don't know what that is, then I ended up shaking her entire body. 653 00:37:26,842 --> 00:37:29,633 So y-you gave her a body shake? 654 00:37:29,633 --> 00:37:32,967 Oh, God! I should've just kissed her! What am I doing? 655 00:37:33,133 --> 00:37:35,717 It looks like you picked up right where you left off. 656 00:37:35,717 --> 00:37:37,258 You're back in the friend zone. 657 00:37:38,342 --> 00:37:39,758 Oh, F... 658 00:37:54,425 --> 00:37:56,425 What? 659 00:37:56,425 --> 00:37:58,133 Little problem. 660 00:37:58,467 --> 00:38:01,217 Okay, she's got a bit of a headache. 661 00:38:01,217 --> 00:38:03,342 It's not that bad.! 662 00:38:05,217 --> 00:38:06,342 Oh my God! 663 00:38:06,342 --> 00:38:08,800 What the hell happened to her? 664 00:38:08,800 --> 00:38:11,300 Long story short, she fell. 665 00:38:11,300 --> 00:38:13,175 Samantha, are you okay? 666 00:38:13,175 --> 00:38:14,925 I'm gonna make bubble. 667 00:38:14,925 --> 00:38:16,717 Dude, she's fine! 668 00:38:16,717 --> 00:38:19,592 Look at her. She's having a good time. She's got her toothpaste. 669 00:38:19,592 --> 00:38:22,550 All you had to do was watch her for a few hours. What did you do to her? 670 00:38:22,550 --> 00:38:25,342 Nothing! She's just all loopy from all the Vicodin. 671 00:38:25,342 --> 00:38:27,592 Where did you get the Vicodin? 672 00:38:27,592 --> 00:38:29,633 Mom. 673 00:38:29,633 --> 00:38:31,508 Blueberry! 674 00:38:31,508 --> 00:38:33,967 Okay. I'm gonna kill you. 675 00:38:33,967 --> 00:38:35,758 What?! You said detain her! 676 00:38:35,758 --> 00:38:37,717 - You're a dead man, Mike! - She's detained! 677 00:38:41,175 --> 00:38:42,592 My balls! 678 00:38:44,758 --> 00:38:47,175 You're dead. 679 00:38:47,175 --> 00:38:49,175 No, Chris! No! 680 00:38:49,175 --> 00:38:51,175 Chris... 681 00:38:51,175 --> 00:38:52,883 Chris, no! 682 00:38:54,592 --> 00:38:56,300 - My boss! Truce! - Truce! 683 00:38:56,300 --> 00:38:57,925 - Truce! - Okay. 684 00:38:57,925 --> 00:38:58,883 - Hello? - Nyah! 685 00:38:59,050 --> 00:39:00,925 Hey, Chrissy! 686 00:39:00,925 --> 00:39:02,925 How's my future star doing? 687 00:39:02,925 --> 00:39:04,675 Great. She's doing great, sir. 688 00:39:04,675 --> 00:39:06,967 So let me... let me... let me say hi to her. 689 00:39:06,967 --> 00:39:09,175 She's a little incapacitated at the moment. 690 00:39:09,175 --> 00:39:12,383 A little incapacitated, that's my baby, that's my boy! 691 00:39:12,383 --> 00:39:16,217 Look, when you two get back, I've got this incredible marketing campaign 692 00:39:16,217 --> 00:39:18,925 lined up for the spring quarter. Our number one priority: 693 00:39:18,925 --> 00:39:22,258 - Samantha James! - Awesome. 694 00:39:22,258 --> 00:39:25,050 Three two, one! 695 00:39:28,050 --> 00:39:31,467 - Yeah! Yeah! - Merry Christmas! 696 00:39:31,467 --> 00:39:33,592 It's a Palamino Christmas! 697 00:39:33,592 --> 00:39:35,550 Again! 698 00:39:38,383 --> 00:39:40,383 - Hello? - Jamie. 699 00:39:40,383 --> 00:39:42,633 - Hey. - What's up? 700 00:39:42,633 --> 00:39:45,592 Listen, you're never gonna believe this, but I can't get a flight out. 701 00:39:45,592 --> 00:39:47,925 I'm stuck here another day. 702 00:39:47,925 --> 00:39:49,467 I want to apologize for earlier. 703 00:39:49,467 --> 00:39:51,133 - Let me make it up to you. - I taste good. 704 00:39:51,175 --> 00:39:53,050 Do you want to go ice skating? 705 00:39:53,050 --> 00:39:55,633 - I thought you hated ice skating. - I used to, 706 00:39:55,633 --> 00:39:58,633 but you know, I'm actually pretty damn good now. 707 00:39:58,633 --> 00:39:59,967 I'm the MVP in my league, in fact. 708 00:39:59,967 --> 00:40:02,133 Come on, it'll be like old times. 709 00:40:03,675 --> 00:40:06,675 - Hello, Joyce? - Mom? I'm on the phone. 710 00:40:06,675 --> 00:40:10,467 Well, Chris, what are you doing over at Joyce's? 711 00:40:10,467 --> 00:40:13,342 No, Mom. I'm in the living room, 10 feet away from you 712 00:40:13,342 --> 00:40:15,258 and I'm on the phone. 713 00:40:15,258 --> 00:40:16,758 Well, you know, I was wondering 714 00:40:16,758 --> 00:40:19,550 while I have you on the phone, what would you like for dinner? 715 00:40:19,550 --> 00:40:23,300 We-we have a choice between chicken chow mein or pot roast. 716 00:40:23,300 --> 00:40:25,425 Mom. Please. 717 00:40:25,425 --> 00:40:27,592 Mom! 718 00:40:27,592 --> 00:40:30,175 - Mom! - What is it, peanut? 719 00:40:30,175 --> 00:40:31,425 Where are my ice skates? 720 00:40:31,425 --> 00:40:34,175 Oh, honey, I gave those away years ago. 721 00:40:34,175 --> 00:40:36,175 Are you serious? I need them. 722 00:40:36,175 --> 00:40:39,425 Well, honey, why would I keep them? You're never here. 723 00:40:39,425 --> 00:40:42,008 Besides, you-you weren't terribly good at ice skating. 724 00:40:42,008 --> 00:40:44,008 Well, I'm good now! 725 00:40:44,008 --> 00:40:46,467 And I need my skates to show off my talents. 726 00:40:46,467 --> 00:40:49,967 Well, honey, I'm sure you can rent a pair. 727 00:40:49,967 --> 00:40:52,592 Besides, you don't have to show off for Jamie. 728 00:40:52,592 --> 00:40:55,050 Just... just be yourself. 729 00:41:02,967 --> 00:41:06,342 Now, come on! Mikey and I are making snow angels! 730 00:41:08,008 --> 00:41:09,925 I don't want to be myself. 731 00:41:12,300 --> 00:41:13,967 My snow globe collection. 732 00:41:26,217 --> 00:41:29,050 Stupid rental skates. 733 00:41:29,050 --> 00:41:31,967 You know what? You're a lot better than before. 734 00:41:31,967 --> 00:41:34,925 - I'm wearing figure skates from the '30s. - Here, let me help you. 735 00:41:34,925 --> 00:41:37,092 Okay, I can do it myself, okay? I'm good. I'm good now. 736 00:41:37,092 --> 00:41:39,425 Hey. 737 00:41:41,092 --> 00:41:42,925 - So... - So... 738 00:41:42,925 --> 00:41:47,050 - How's the love life? - Lame. 739 00:41:47,050 --> 00:41:50,842 - Marty and I broke up a year ago. - Another jerk? 740 00:41:50,842 --> 00:41:52,925 - "Another jerk?" - I'm kidding... 741 00:41:52,925 --> 00:41:54,925 I'm just saying you dated a lot of jerks 742 00:41:54,925 --> 00:41:56,883 back in high school, that's all. 743 00:41:56,883 --> 00:42:00,633 So how about you? You in love with anyone besides yourself? 744 00:42:00,633 --> 00:42:03,842 No. 745 00:42:03,842 --> 00:42:06,675 I've really just been dating, you know? 746 00:42:06,675 --> 00:42:09,050 Just trying to look for my soulmate. 747 00:42:09,050 --> 00:42:10,300 You didn't buy that, did you? 748 00:42:10,300 --> 00:42:12,508 Maybe you should try harder. 749 00:42:12,508 --> 00:42:15,633 Or I could try this. 750 00:42:19,967 --> 00:42:22,675 Hey guys, it's Miss Palamino! 751 00:42:22,842 --> 00:42:24,925 Yay! 752 00:42:24,925 --> 00:42:27,050 Hi, guys. 753 00:42:27,050 --> 00:42:30,008 Sarah and Joey and Brett. Hi! 754 00:42:30,008 --> 00:42:32,883 - What, you... you know these kids? - Yeah, I substitute teach 755 00:42:32,883 --> 00:42:35,592 - their class. - Hey, we're having a pickup game. 756 00:42:35,592 --> 00:42:38,217 We could use some more bodies. You guys play? 757 00:42:38,217 --> 00:42:40,883 You know Chris is a great player, but he has rentals. 758 00:42:40,883 --> 00:42:44,383 - A good skater can skate in anything. - Yeah! 759 00:42:44,383 --> 00:42:46,175 I'm in. 760 00:42:47,800 --> 00:42:52,092 Okay, guys. Keep it clean. 761 00:42:52,092 --> 00:42:53,342 Shoot it! 762 00:42:53,342 --> 00:42:55,925 Get it in! And goal! 763 00:42:58,008 --> 00:43:01,175 - What was that?! - You're pathetic! 764 00:43:01,175 --> 00:43:03,175 I'm sorry, okay? 765 00:43:03,175 --> 00:43:05,467 It's just these damn rental skates. 766 00:43:05,467 --> 00:43:08,633 It's fine. Just don't cuss in front of the children. 767 00:43:08,633 --> 00:43:10,342 Potty mouth. 768 00:43:11,925 --> 00:43:14,633 Get him, Terry! 769 00:43:17,008 --> 00:43:19,133 He hacked me! 770 00:43:19,133 --> 00:43:20,842 Wanna fight, punk? 771 00:43:20,842 --> 00:43:23,425 - What, are you kidding me? - Fight! 772 00:43:23,425 --> 00:43:26,050 Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! 773 00:43:26,050 --> 00:43:29,258 All right, all right, break it up, break it up. 774 00:43:29,258 --> 00:43:32,092 What is your problem? She's just a child. 775 00:43:32,092 --> 00:43:34,467 - That's a girl? - Pussy! 776 00:43:40,217 --> 00:43:43,467 - Yeah! - All right! 777 00:43:47,717 --> 00:43:50,092 Okay, listen. We're getting creamed out there. 778 00:43:50,092 --> 00:43:52,633 - It's his fault. - You suck, Brander. 779 00:43:52,633 --> 00:43:55,008 - Hey. - I brand you "Suckster." 780 00:43:55,008 --> 00:43:56,883 - Oh my... that's enough. - Hey. 781 00:43:56,883 --> 00:43:59,383 Now Chris is trying his best here. 782 00:43:59,383 --> 00:44:02,008 Sorry, Miss Palamino, but he's just so terrible. 783 00:44:02,008 --> 00:44:05,300 - I'm not terrible. - Suckster! Suckster! Suckster! Suckster! 784 00:44:05,300 --> 00:44:07,675 - Maybe you should call it a day. - No, I can do this! 785 00:44:07,675 --> 00:44:10,217 - Suckster! Suckster. Suckster! Suckster... - Hey! 786 00:44:10,217 --> 00:44:12,050 I'm a really good skater, little girl! 787 00:44:12,050 --> 00:44:15,550 Watch! You might learn something! 788 00:44:15,550 --> 00:44:17,258 I'm taking this one. 789 00:44:21,217 --> 00:44:23,592 Me? 790 00:44:31,133 --> 00:44:33,800 Chris, no! 791 00:44:45,592 --> 00:44:48,967 No! 792 00:44:50,675 --> 00:44:53,300 No slap shots! 793 00:45:05,050 --> 00:45:06,967 Suckster! Suckster! 794 00:45:06,967 --> 00:45:10,133 Suckster! Suckster! Suckster! 795 00:45:10,133 --> 00:45:12,258 Suckster! Suckster! 796 00:45:12,258 --> 00:45:15,842 - What a schmuck. - Don't worry, Chris. You're gonna be fine. 797 00:45:23,300 --> 00:45:25,425 Well, it looks like I was 798 00:45:25,425 --> 00:45:28,175 - in the right place at the right time, Miss... - Yeah. 799 00:45:28,175 --> 00:45:31,133 Palamino? Jamie Palamino. 800 00:45:31,133 --> 00:45:33,925 - Dusty Dinkleman? - Yeah. 801 00:45:33,925 --> 00:45:36,508 Actually, I go by "Dusty Lee" now, but yeah. 802 00:45:36,508 --> 00:45:39,300 - "Dutty Nee?" - Thanks for saving me. 803 00:45:39,300 --> 00:45:41,800 Yay, Dusty! 804 00:45:41,800 --> 00:45:44,050 - You remember Chris Brander? - Eeh. 805 00:45:44,050 --> 00:45:46,425 - Boo... - Oh, yeah. 806 00:45:46,425 --> 00:45:49,133 Seen better days, I guess, pal? 807 00:45:49,133 --> 00:45:51,467 Hey, listen, I don't want to make this weird, 808 00:45:51,467 --> 00:45:53,425 but you look incredible. 809 00:45:53,425 --> 00:45:56,258 - So do you. - Really glad you dropped in. 810 00:46:05,342 --> 00:46:07,217 Cool... 811 00:46:09,258 --> 00:46:12,592 Sorry about that, buddy. 812 00:46:12,592 --> 00:46:14,425 Here we go. 813 00:46:16,467 --> 00:46:18,508 Late '20s. Male Caucasian 814 00:46:18,508 --> 00:46:21,758 with multiple lacerations on lower mandible and possible concussion. 815 00:46:21,758 --> 00:46:23,508 Transport en route, over. 816 00:46:23,508 --> 00:46:25,633 - 104. - So, Jamie, 817 00:46:25,633 --> 00:46:28,383 - you still living in town? - Oh, yeah, I just moved back. 818 00:46:28,383 --> 00:46:30,425 Oh, really? Me too. 819 00:46:30,425 --> 00:46:32,883 - It's a small world. - No kidding. 820 00:46:32,883 --> 00:46:34,217 Jeez, you know, 821 00:46:34,217 --> 00:46:37,092 I cannot get over how great you look. 822 00:46:37,092 --> 00:46:39,800 Me? Look at you! 823 00:46:39,800 --> 00:46:42,050 Yeah, I guess my skin cleared up 824 00:46:42,050 --> 00:46:43,758 and I lost my stammer, 825 00:46:43,758 --> 00:46:45,925 but I still play a mean guitar. 826 00:46:45,925 --> 00:46:48,550 I'm actually only doing this part-time till I can make it in music. 827 00:46:48,592 --> 00:46:51,675 You know, Chris is in the music business too. He could probably help you. 828 00:46:51,675 --> 00:46:54,508 Hey. Easy there, Gretzky. 829 00:46:56,883 --> 00:47:00,425 You know, we should hang out, you know, have lunch sometime? 830 00:47:01,508 --> 00:47:04,342 I would love to have lunch. 831 00:47:04,342 --> 00:47:06,175 Where can I give you my phone number? 832 00:47:06,175 --> 00:47:07,633 Just write it on this. 833 00:47:12,425 --> 00:47:14,717 Jamie Palamino. 834 00:47:14,717 --> 00:47:16,383 This is bullshit! 835 00:47:16,383 --> 00:47:17,967 You haven't aged a peep. 836 00:47:21,883 --> 00:47:25,675 What do you know about Dusty Dinkleman? 837 00:47:25,675 --> 00:47:27,050 - You mean Dusty Lee? - Yeah. 838 00:47:27,050 --> 00:47:29,092 Works in the building, drives ambulance. Why? 839 00:47:29,092 --> 00:47:32,675 Well check this out. So I'm out with Jamie again... 840 00:47:32,675 --> 00:47:34,467 Another day date? 841 00:47:34,467 --> 00:47:36,967 Yes. Anyway, 842 00:47:36,967 --> 00:47:38,675 we're having a great time 843 00:47:38,675 --> 00:47:41,050 and then Dusty shows up out of nowhere, 844 00:47:41,050 --> 00:47:43,550 and then Jamie gives him her number. 845 00:47:43,550 --> 00:47:46,967 Hey, didn't Dusty have like a huge crush on Jamie? 846 00:47:46,967 --> 00:47:49,425 Yeah, you got some 847 00:47:49,425 --> 00:47:51,800 competition there, Chris. I mean, Dusty is a really nice guy. 848 00:47:51,842 --> 00:47:54,383 Yeah, well Jamie doesn't date nice guys. 849 00:47:54,383 --> 00:47:56,050 She puts them in the friend zone 850 00:47:56,050 --> 00:47:58,008 and then tortures the shit out of them. 851 00:47:58,008 --> 00:48:00,508 I don't know. Jamie's come a long way since high school. 852 00:48:00,508 --> 00:48:03,175 I think she might be maturing. 853 00:48:03,175 --> 00:48:04,675 Maturing? 854 00:48:06,383 --> 00:48:08,342 So that's why she went with Dusty. 855 00:48:08,342 --> 00:48:10,300 She wants a sensitive guy... 856 00:48:10,300 --> 00:48:12,300 more like the old me. 857 00:48:12,300 --> 00:48:14,133 Well, if she wants Mr. Rogers, 858 00:48:14,133 --> 00:48:16,133 then I'm going to show her 859 00:48:16,133 --> 00:48:18,092 the biggest pussy she's ever seen. 860 00:48:18,092 --> 00:48:20,008 Yeah. 861 00:48:20,008 --> 00:48:22,300 Okay, we're done. Now... 862 00:48:22,300 --> 00:48:24,758 you're gonna need to wear this for the next few days 863 00:48:24,758 --> 00:48:27,842 until those stitches are ready to come out. 864 00:48:27,842 --> 00:48:30,508 And here you go. Just like your old yearbook picture. 865 00:48:35,842 --> 00:48:38,050 Come in! 866 00:48:38,050 --> 00:48:40,717 - Can I come in? - I just said that. 867 00:48:42,967 --> 00:48:45,133 I brought magazines. 868 00:48:45,133 --> 00:48:47,175 These are old. 869 00:48:47,175 --> 00:48:50,300 - Flowers? - Those are daisies. 870 00:48:50,300 --> 00:48:53,633 - How about snacks? - Carbs? Are you kidding me? 871 00:48:53,633 --> 00:48:55,133 I can't eat that crap. 872 00:48:55,133 --> 00:48:57,425 I'm just trying to be helpful. 873 00:48:57,425 --> 00:49:01,133 Well you're not. So vamoose. 874 00:49:01,133 --> 00:49:04,550 - I guess I'll just leave you now. - No, wait wait. 875 00:49:04,550 --> 00:49:07,175 I'm sorry I'm being such a biatch. 876 00:49:07,175 --> 00:49:09,717 It's just that I'm supposed to be in Paris and I'm not, 877 00:49:09,717 --> 00:49:12,842 and I'm going out of my mind with boredom! 878 00:49:12,842 --> 00:49:15,800 I mean, my Sidekick broke and I... 879 00:49:15,800 --> 00:49:20,050 I haven't had sex in, like, forever. 880 00:49:20,050 --> 00:49:21,758 And I'm so horny. 881 00:49:21,758 --> 00:49:24,800 I'm horny. 882 00:49:24,800 --> 00:49:27,133 Wait a minute. 883 00:49:28,425 --> 00:49:32,342 - How old are you? - I'm 22... 20... 19... 884 00:49:32,342 --> 00:49:34,258 I'm... I'm 18. 885 00:49:34,258 --> 00:49:36,133 Eighteen. 886 00:49:38,758 --> 00:49:41,883 So do you really have my poster on your wall? 887 00:49:41,883 --> 00:49:45,383 - Yeah. - Do you ever like... 888 00:49:45,383 --> 00:49:47,383 All the time. 889 00:49:47,383 --> 00:49:49,175 How many times in a day? 890 00:49:49,175 --> 00:49:51,800 - Eight. - Eight?! 891 00:49:56,217 --> 00:49:58,467 Eight? Oh my God, that's hot. 892 00:49:58,467 --> 00:50:01,842 - You're hot. - I know, I know. 893 00:50:04,717 --> 00:50:07,633 Are you okay? 894 00:50:07,633 --> 00:50:09,717 Oh, my back is killing me. 895 00:50:09,717 --> 00:50:12,258 I could give you a massage. 896 00:50:12,258 --> 00:50:14,592 Would you mind? 897 00:50:14,592 --> 00:50:17,592 Not at all. 898 00:50:17,592 --> 00:50:21,258 - Oopsie, I'm naked. - You're naked. 899 00:50:21,258 --> 00:50:23,342 Do you have any oil? 900 00:50:23,342 --> 00:50:25,842 Right back. 901 00:50:30,592 --> 00:50:31,967 What took you so long? 902 00:50:35,175 --> 00:50:37,800 - Show me what you've got, baby. - Okay. 903 00:50:37,800 --> 00:50:39,800 Baby! 904 00:50:39,800 --> 00:50:41,675 More more! 905 00:50:44,217 --> 00:50:45,883 - Okay, enough. Enough! - Okay. 906 00:50:45,883 --> 00:50:48,342 Oh, yeah. 907 00:50:52,883 --> 00:50:54,592 Hey hey. Merry Christmas, neighbor. 908 00:50:59,300 --> 00:51:01,050 Gee... hey! 909 00:51:01,050 --> 00:51:03,050 - Yeah. - Mikey likey, 910 00:51:03,050 --> 00:51:06,592 - Mikey likey, Mikey likey, Mikey likey... - Yeah... 911 00:51:08,467 --> 00:51:10,550 Where the hell have you been?! 912 00:51:10,550 --> 00:51:12,383 I was getting you food. 913 00:51:12,383 --> 00:51:14,675 - Are you wearing braces? - It's not braces. 914 00:51:14,675 --> 00:51:17,550 It's a retainer and it's not that bad. 915 00:51:17,550 --> 00:51:21,133 - You look like a doofus! - Doofus! 916 00:51:22,342 --> 00:51:24,800 Doofus! Doofus! 917 00:51:24,800 --> 00:51:27,883 Doofus! Doofus! Doof... 918 00:51:29,633 --> 00:51:31,342 Chris? 919 00:51:31,342 --> 00:51:34,050 Mommy. 920 00:51:34,050 --> 00:51:36,925 So pretty. 921 00:51:36,925 --> 00:51:40,133 Honey, look what just came for you. 922 00:51:40,133 --> 00:51:42,842 It's a "Get well soon" card from Jamie. 923 00:51:46,175 --> 00:51:48,758 - Boo. - Oh yeah? 924 00:51:48,758 --> 00:51:50,342 What do you think of that? 925 00:51:50,342 --> 00:51:53,175 It's hugs and kisses, dude. Mom writes that on my cards. 926 00:51:53,175 --> 00:51:56,383 That's because I love you both so much. 927 00:51:57,883 --> 00:51:59,675 Thanks, Mommy. 928 00:52:08,258 --> 00:52:10,300 Oh, God. 929 00:52:17,467 --> 00:52:19,883 Truce! 930 00:52:21,092 --> 00:52:23,133 Total pussy. 931 00:52:23,133 --> 00:52:26,175 You're the biggest pussy on planet Earth. 932 00:52:26,175 --> 00:52:28,175 It's you. 933 00:52:31,300 --> 00:52:34,175 - Hello? - Jamie! 934 00:52:34,175 --> 00:52:37,342 - Chris! How are you feeling? - So much better. 935 00:52:37,342 --> 00:52:39,050 Listen, I know it's Christmas Eve, 936 00:52:39,050 --> 00:52:42,217 - but do you have any plans tonight? - No. 937 00:52:42,217 --> 00:52:44,050 Well... 938 00:52:44,050 --> 00:52:46,092 the revival theater in town 939 00:52:46,092 --> 00:52:48,175 is showing Nicholas Sparks's "The Notebook." 940 00:52:50,342 --> 00:52:53,342 - Hello? I'm on the phone. - Really you want to see "The Notebook"? 941 00:52:53,342 --> 00:52:55,717 Yes, because I love sentimental tear-jerkers. 942 00:52:55,717 --> 00:52:57,675 I'm gonna friggin' puke. 943 00:52:57,675 --> 00:52:59,383 Just a second. 944 00:53:04,133 --> 00:53:06,758 - You are so dead. Do you hear me? - Whatever, dude. 945 00:53:06,758 --> 00:53:08,967 - What're you doing over there? - Faggot. 946 00:53:08,967 --> 00:53:10,842 - Nothing. - That's my call-waiting. One second. 947 00:53:10,883 --> 00:53:12,258 - So, anyway... - Hello? 948 00:53:12,258 --> 00:53:14,717 - Hey, Jamie. It's Dusty. - Hey, Dusty. 949 00:53:14,717 --> 00:53:15,842 Hey, listen, just... 950 00:53:17,717 --> 00:53:19,383 Dude, I think she left you hanging. 951 00:53:19,383 --> 00:53:22,717 It's probably just an important business call. Get off the phone. 952 00:53:22,717 --> 00:53:25,925 - What, the bar ran out of curly fries? - Get off the phone. 953 00:53:25,925 --> 00:53:28,050 Dude, are you gonna boink Jamie tonight? 954 00:53:28,050 --> 00:53:30,008 Yes. Are you happy now? 955 00:53:30,175 --> 00:53:33,050 All right. 956 00:53:33,050 --> 00:53:36,133 - Dude, "The Notebook" 's so gay. - Get off the phone! 957 00:53:36,133 --> 00:53:39,675 - Sorry about that. - That's okay. 958 00:53:39,675 --> 00:53:41,925 - So anyway, what do you say? - About what? 959 00:53:41,925 --> 00:53:43,925 Going to a movie tonight? Then maybe later 960 00:53:43,925 --> 00:53:47,383 we can go for some herbal tea. 961 00:53:47,383 --> 00:53:49,758 Okay, sure. 962 00:53:49,758 --> 00:53:52,175 You know what? You're on my way to the theater. 963 00:53:52,175 --> 00:53:53,758 Why don't I pick you up at like 7:30? 964 00:53:53,758 --> 00:53:55,258 - It's a date. - Homo. 965 00:53:55,258 --> 00:53:56,925 - Bye for now. - Bye. 966 00:54:00,633 --> 00:54:03,842 Mom! Mom! Truce! 967 00:54:05,758 --> 00:54:10,050 Paris, here we come! 968 00:54:10,342 --> 00:54:13,550 - But I'm not ready to play a gig. - Of course you are. 969 00:54:13,550 --> 00:54:16,550 No. No. 970 00:54:16,550 --> 00:54:18,092 No! 971 00:54:18,092 --> 00:54:22,550 - This is a bad idea, Chris. - God, I'm so stupid! 972 00:54:22,550 --> 00:54:25,967 - No you're not, baby. - Here I am, trying to nurture this artist, 973 00:54:25,967 --> 00:54:30,050 yet you're this pop bubblegum sensation, 974 00:54:30,050 --> 00:54:33,092 and that's okay. 975 00:54:33,092 --> 00:54:34,967 Paris, here we come! 976 00:54:36,592 --> 00:54:39,383 But I am an artist. I am an artist! 977 00:54:39,383 --> 00:54:42,175 Hey! I am an artist! 978 00:54:42,175 --> 00:54:44,967 - Let's go do this. - Are you ready for this? 979 00:54:44,967 --> 00:54:47,842 I was born ready, bitch. 980 00:54:47,842 --> 00:54:50,133 - I'm really excited about this. - Yeah, me too. 981 00:54:50,133 --> 00:54:52,467 - Yeah. - Okay, let's do this. 982 00:54:52,467 --> 00:54:56,217 Yeah. 983 00:54:56,217 --> 00:54:59,383 - Hey! Wait! You're not coming with me? - Of course I am. 984 00:54:59,383 --> 00:55:01,133 Mike's just giving you a ride to the gig. 985 00:55:01,133 --> 00:55:03,550 I'm gonna stay here, I'm gonna do some administrative work 986 00:55:03,550 --> 00:55:05,217 and I'm gonna meet you there. 987 00:55:05,217 --> 00:55:06,925 It's open mic night at The Coffee House. 988 00:55:06,925 --> 00:55:09,342 Coffee House is lame, dude. Come on... 989 00:55:09,342 --> 00:55:11,008 all right! 990 00:55:11,008 --> 00:55:13,008 Think fast. Boop! 991 00:55:36,508 --> 00:55:38,467 Showtime. 992 00:55:49,425 --> 00:55:51,758 Come on! How long does it... 993 00:55:54,092 --> 00:55:56,133 - Mistletoe. - Hello. 994 00:55:56,133 --> 00:55:58,842 - Oh my God! - Jamie! How are you? 995 00:55:58,842 --> 00:56:02,133 You've grown into such a beautiful young woman, 996 00:56:02,133 --> 00:56:04,383 hasn't she, Chris? 997 00:56:07,425 --> 00:56:09,050 Ding-dong. 998 00:56:10,675 --> 00:56:13,175 Dusty. Hey. Why? 999 00:56:13,175 --> 00:56:15,717 Are you kidding, man? I love "The Notebook". 1000 00:56:15,717 --> 00:56:17,467 I mean, listen, I know it might sound 1001 00:56:17,467 --> 00:56:19,467 a little corny, maybe even a little femme, 1002 00:56:19,467 --> 00:56:21,217 but I find something so resplendent 1003 00:56:21,217 --> 00:56:24,050 in the simplicity of Nicholas Sparks' writing, you know what I mean? 1004 00:56:24,050 --> 00:56:27,508 Nice outfit, by the way. Rock and roll. 1005 00:56:27,508 --> 00:56:29,383 Carol? 1006 00:56:29,383 --> 00:56:32,050 Oh my God. 1007 00:56:32,050 --> 00:56:34,258 - Carol... - Dusty, oh my goodness. 1008 00:56:34,258 --> 00:56:37,050 - This is old-home week. - Oh, absolutely. 1009 00:56:37,050 --> 00:56:41,175 - Is it okay that Dusty came? - It's awesome that Dusty came. 1010 00:56:41,175 --> 00:56:43,258 - Thank you. - Okay. 1011 00:56:43,258 --> 00:56:45,050 - In the hospital. We got... - Dust! 1012 00:56:45,050 --> 00:56:47,592 Hey, let's hit the road. 1013 00:56:47,592 --> 00:56:49,258 Well, you kids have fun. 1014 00:56:49,258 --> 00:56:51,008 Carol, why don't you come join us? 1015 00:56:51,008 --> 00:56:54,092 She's vacuuming. 1016 00:56:54,092 --> 00:56:57,550 W- well, I'd love to, but I... I wouldn't want to impose. 1017 00:56:57,550 --> 00:57:01,717 - Oh, no imposition at all! - No. 1018 00:57:01,717 --> 00:57:03,842 We'd love to have you, wouldn't we, Chris? 1019 00:57:03,842 --> 00:57:07,050 Yeah, rad. Awesome. 1020 00:57:07,050 --> 00:57:08,800 Mom's coming. That's good. 1021 00:57:08,800 --> 00:57:11,258 - There's a group now. - Yes! 1022 00:57:11,258 --> 00:57:13,967 - It was us. It was us. - Oh, my darling. 1023 00:57:13,967 --> 00:57:16,592 Oh my sweetheart. 1024 00:57:16,592 --> 00:57:19,050 I love you so much. 1025 00:57:25,675 --> 00:57:29,842 - How much time do we have? - I'm not sure. 1026 00:57:29,842 --> 00:57:32,258 Last time it was no more than five minutes. 1027 00:57:34,175 --> 00:57:36,467 I love you, angel. 1028 00:57:38,967 --> 00:57:40,675 What happened to me? 1029 00:57:40,675 --> 00:57:42,675 This is so gay. 1030 00:57:50,300 --> 00:57:53,967 Oh, Dusty... 1031 00:57:57,258 --> 00:58:01,592 Son of a bitch! 1032 00:58:01,592 --> 00:58:04,633 Peanut. 1033 00:58:08,425 --> 00:58:11,383 Oh, no. 1034 00:58:17,467 --> 00:58:19,383 Show us your tits! 1035 00:58:22,717 --> 00:58:23,967 Forgive this! 1036 00:58:25,092 --> 00:58:27,092 Dusty, what kind of car is this? 1037 00:58:27,092 --> 00:58:30,467 Carol, this little Japanese princess here is called the Prius. 1038 00:58:30,467 --> 00:58:32,217 I think it's so neat that you kids 1039 00:58:32,217 --> 00:58:34,217 care about the environment. 1040 00:58:34,217 --> 00:58:37,883 - I love the environment. - But honey, don't you drive 1041 00:58:37,883 --> 00:58:40,842 a Range Rover? Aren't those bad? 1042 00:58:40,842 --> 00:58:43,008 Well, I had a really nice time tonight, 1043 00:58:43,008 --> 00:58:44,675 and I hope we can do it again soon. 1044 00:58:44,675 --> 00:58:46,842 Hey, Dusty, thanks for comin'. 1045 00:58:46,842 --> 00:58:49,050 Listen, man, it was my pleasure, really. 1046 00:58:49,050 --> 00:58:52,092 Thank you all for having me. It was so nice. 1047 00:58:52,092 --> 00:58:54,217 And hey, before I forget, make sure 1048 00:58:54,217 --> 00:58:56,592 that you rinse that thing at least twice a day, okay? 1049 00:58:56,592 --> 00:58:59,675 Your mouth is a disgusting open cesspool 1050 00:58:59,842 --> 00:59:02,175 with germs and bacteria. Now put that back! 1051 00:59:02,175 --> 00:59:04,258 - Christopher, put that back. - Put it back! 1052 00:59:06,008 --> 00:59:07,550 Thanks. 1053 00:59:07,550 --> 00:59:09,633 Hey, anyone want some cocoa? 1054 00:59:09,633 --> 00:59:12,550 Oh, Carol, you are so sweet! 1055 00:59:12,550 --> 00:59:15,508 And I would love to do that, except I volunteered at the hospital 1056 00:59:15,508 --> 00:59:17,675 so that Paul could spend Christmas Eve with his family. 1057 00:59:17,675 --> 00:59:20,383 So, I kinda gotta get going. 1058 00:59:20,383 --> 00:59:22,217 That's a drag. God! 1059 00:59:22,217 --> 00:59:24,008 Hey, Jamie, what about you? 1060 00:59:26,008 --> 00:59:28,425 - Ready? - Give me a Cougar roar. Cougar roar! 1061 00:59:31,508 --> 00:59:35,300 Cookie Monster says the Cougars are 1062 00:59:35,300 --> 00:59:38,508 great big cookies 1063 00:59:38,508 --> 00:59:40,675 at the top of the jar. 1064 00:59:40,675 --> 00:59:43,633 Ladies and Gentleman, the amazing Chris Brander. 1065 00:59:43,633 --> 00:59:45,633 Oh my gosh, I remember this. 1066 00:59:45,800 --> 00:59:50,217 He juggles three tennis balls, but gets bored very quickly 1067 00:59:50,217 --> 00:59:52,633 and wants something else. 1068 00:59:52,633 --> 00:59:56,133 Clear! 1069 00:59:56,133 --> 00:59:58,883 Clear! 1070 00:59:58,883 --> 01:00:01,133 No kissing! 1071 01:00:01,133 --> 01:00:03,550 That's right, Jamie Palamino, 1072 01:00:03,550 --> 01:00:05,675 you're my best friend! 1073 01:00:05,675 --> 01:00:07,633 I love you, Chris Brander. Mwha! 1074 01:00:07,633 --> 01:00:10,508 Mwha, mwha, mwha! 1075 01:00:10,508 --> 01:00:14,300 Your mom's car. You see, this is more like you. 1076 01:00:14,300 --> 01:00:17,342 Yeah, I'm gonna take it back to I.A. 1077 01:00:20,925 --> 01:00:23,550 - What? - Guess what I found? 1078 01:00:23,550 --> 01:00:27,217 - No, the tape I made you? - 1995. 1079 01:00:27,217 --> 01:00:29,717 - "The Summer of Like." - Put it in. 1080 01:00:45,258 --> 01:00:47,592 Oh, God. 1081 01:00:47,592 --> 01:00:49,633 My God, 1082 01:00:49,633 --> 01:00:51,717 I just peed a little. 1083 01:00:51,717 --> 01:00:55,217 - Good night, guys. - Good night, Chris. 1084 01:00:59,050 --> 01:01:01,300 What's up? 1085 01:01:01,300 --> 01:01:03,258 - Little problem. - Where are you? 1086 01:01:03,258 --> 01:01:05,175 - The Metal Shop. - What?! 1087 01:01:05,175 --> 01:01:08,175 Hey! Hey!! 1088 01:01:08,175 --> 01:01:10,258 - That's it, bitch. It's on! - Come on! 1089 01:01:10,258 --> 01:01:13,925 I'm gonna kill you! Not so funny now, bitch?! 1090 01:01:13,925 --> 01:01:15,842 - Not so funny now?! - I'm sorry! I'm sorry! 1091 01:01:18,842 --> 01:01:20,967 Kudos on the Christmas cookies, Mom. 1092 01:01:20,967 --> 01:01:23,217 Thanks, pumpkin. I'll be back in an hour. 1093 01:01:38,133 --> 01:01:40,425 - What's up, Dude? - Quiet, she's sleeping. 1094 01:01:40,425 --> 01:01:42,175 I'm going over to Jamie's. 1095 01:01:42,175 --> 01:01:44,050 - Did you boink her yet? - Shut it. 1096 01:01:44,050 --> 01:01:46,133 If she wakes up, tell her I went to meet Bono. 1097 01:01:46,133 --> 01:01:48,800 - You're gonna meet Bono? I wanna come. - No, you walking void, 1098 01:01:48,800 --> 01:01:51,633 it's a lie, but if she wakes up just tell her I'll be back in a bit. 1099 01:01:51,633 --> 01:01:53,592 - Fine! - Fine! 1100 01:01:55,008 --> 01:01:56,592 - I love you. - I love you too. 1101 01:02:13,425 --> 01:02:16,175 Oh, God! 1102 01:02:25,758 --> 01:02:27,842 This is pathetic! 1103 01:02:59,383 --> 01:03:01,383 Thank you, guys. Thank you. 1104 01:03:01,383 --> 01:03:03,383 Encore! Encore! Encore! 1105 01:03:03,383 --> 01:03:05,383 Okay, all right, one more time. 1106 01:03:05,383 --> 01:03:07,925 - One more time. Okay. - Oh yeah! 1107 01:03:07,925 --> 01:03:11,800 Here we go. You guys, you know, 1108 01:03:11,800 --> 01:03:13,467 Christmas is the time for giving. 1109 01:03:13,467 --> 01:03:15,842 And the most precious gift that you can give... 1110 01:03:15,842 --> 01:03:19,092 is your heart. 1111 01:03:19,092 --> 01:03:21,550 Jamie Palamino, this is my gift to you. 1112 01:04:06,342 --> 01:04:09,092 - Where's Chris?! - I'll never tell you anything! 1113 01:04:09,092 --> 01:04:12,175 Oh yeah? 1114 01:04:27,967 --> 01:04:30,467 Dude, Jamie's outside. What are you doing up here? 1115 01:04:30,467 --> 01:04:32,592 I'm getting my butt kicked by Dinkleman, 1116 01:04:32,592 --> 01:04:34,133 that's what I'm doing up here. 1117 01:04:34,133 --> 01:04:37,717 You see him play that guitar? It's like he has 15 fingers. 1118 01:04:37,717 --> 01:04:41,175 Everybody loves him. I can't compete with this guy. 1119 01:04:41,175 --> 01:04:44,717 You can't compete with this... are you kidding me? 1120 01:04:44,717 --> 01:04:47,842 You're Chris Brander! You're Hollywood. You date models! 1121 01:04:47,842 --> 01:04:50,550 He's Jersey. He skis in his jeans! 1122 01:04:50,550 --> 01:04:52,300 It's Dinkleman. 1123 01:04:52,300 --> 01:04:54,592 It's Dusty Dinkleman. 1124 01:04:56,008 --> 01:04:58,717 - Dinkleman. - Dinkleman. 1125 01:04:58,717 --> 01:05:01,592 - Dinkleman. - Dinkleman! 1126 01:05:01,592 --> 01:05:04,675 - Dinkleman. - Dinkleman's going down. 1127 01:05:04,675 --> 01:05:07,342 Dinkleman... Is going way down. 1128 01:05:07,342 --> 01:05:09,133 Atta boy. 1129 01:05:09,133 --> 01:05:11,592 Now you get out there and you tell Jamie how you feel! 1130 01:05:11,592 --> 01:05:14,592 - Let's do this. - Atta boy. 1131 01:05:14,592 --> 01:05:18,133 Good ol' Chris Brander, ladies and gentlemen! 1132 01:05:34,092 --> 01:05:36,050 What the... 1133 01:05:43,675 --> 01:05:45,883 The jig is up! Run! 1134 01:05:45,883 --> 01:05:47,925 You son of a bitch! 1135 01:05:47,925 --> 01:05:51,508 Samantha! You're here! Shit! 1136 01:05:51,508 --> 01:05:53,675 There she is. There's the little slut 1137 01:05:53,675 --> 01:05:55,550 you've been banging behind my back! 1138 01:05:55,550 --> 01:05:57,883 - Me? - Not you, wrinkles. Her! 1139 01:05:57,883 --> 01:06:00,467 Who are you? 1140 01:06:00,467 --> 01:06:03,300 - I'm Samantha James, bitch! - Don't shove me! 1141 01:06:03,300 --> 01:06:06,133 - You're a whore! Santa's little whore! - Get off! 1142 01:06:06,133 --> 01:06:08,050 - Santa's little whore! - Cat fight! 1143 01:06:09,717 --> 01:06:11,842 - Get out! - You're gonna pay for this. 1144 01:06:11,842 --> 01:06:13,467 I'm gonna get you fired! 1145 01:06:13,467 --> 01:06:16,008 Hope you enjoy unemployment, dickweed! 1146 01:06:16,008 --> 01:06:17,842 Get off me, God boy! 1147 01:06:17,842 --> 01:06:21,133 But Samantha, What about the words to your song? "Forgiveness"! 1148 01:06:21,133 --> 01:06:23,800 Forgive this, asshole. 1149 01:06:26,467 --> 01:06:29,175 I hate this town! 1150 01:06:29,175 --> 01:06:31,717 Call me. 1151 01:06:41,175 --> 01:06:42,800 - Chris? - Yeah. 1152 01:06:42,800 --> 01:06:46,217 Little problem. 1153 01:06:47,342 --> 01:06:49,008 Duck! 1154 01:06:52,467 --> 01:06:56,092 No! Not Santa! 1155 01:07:11,258 --> 01:07:13,342 Flaming reindeer. 1156 01:07:18,467 --> 01:07:21,925 You don't see that every day. 1157 01:07:24,508 --> 01:07:27,092 Hey Chris, it's Samantha. I just talked to my sponsor 1158 01:07:27,092 --> 01:07:29,050 and I owe you an apology. 1159 01:07:29,050 --> 01:07:30,758 It's Samantha... Call me... 1160 01:07:30,758 --> 01:07:32,550 It's Samantha! 1161 01:07:32,550 --> 01:07:35,467 Hello, Joyce? 1162 01:07:35,467 --> 01:07:38,133 Joyce? 1163 01:07:44,467 --> 01:07:46,467 Go away. 1164 01:07:46,467 --> 01:07:48,592 Go away! 1165 01:07:50,342 --> 01:07:52,592 Mom, I said I have a tummy ache. 1166 01:07:54,925 --> 01:07:56,967 Well that was an interesting Christmas. 1167 01:07:56,967 --> 01:07:59,758 I'm sorry. I'll pay for everything. 1168 01:07:59,758 --> 01:08:01,592 I'm not here to collect. 1169 01:08:01,592 --> 01:08:03,258 What are you doing here? 1170 01:08:03,258 --> 01:08:06,092 I want to talk to the guy who wrote me this. 1171 01:08:11,425 --> 01:08:15,758 - Want some more? - No. Gallon's my limit. 1172 01:08:15,758 --> 01:08:18,133 Excuse me if I'm not one of your stick models. 1173 01:08:18,133 --> 01:08:21,008 "I'm Chris Brander. I hang out with Good Charlotte and Pink. 1174 01:08:21,008 --> 01:08:23,592 - "I go to Jay Z's birthday party..." - Okay, okay. All right. 1175 01:08:23,592 --> 01:08:26,300 - Thank you very much. I get it. I was lame. - Yeah. 1176 01:08:26,300 --> 01:08:30,133 Actually, I was nervous, but more importantly, 1177 01:08:30,133 --> 01:08:32,092 does this hat make me look fat? 1178 01:08:36,800 --> 01:08:39,425 So... 1179 01:08:39,425 --> 01:08:42,467 is your life everything you'd hoped it'd be? 1180 01:08:42,467 --> 01:08:45,550 I always thought that if I had a huge career 1181 01:08:45,550 --> 01:08:47,883 and famous clients and tons of money 1182 01:08:47,883 --> 01:08:49,967 that I'd be happy. 1183 01:08:49,967 --> 01:08:52,092 And the truth is... 1184 01:08:52,092 --> 01:08:54,092 I was right. 1185 01:08:54,092 --> 01:08:56,508 I love it. Especially the money. 1186 01:08:56,508 --> 01:08:59,758 You're so bad! 1187 01:08:59,758 --> 01:09:01,592 What about you? 1188 01:09:01,592 --> 01:09:03,258 Let's put you in the hot seat? 1189 01:09:03,258 --> 01:09:05,050 Where do you see yourself in 10 years? 1190 01:09:06,217 --> 01:09:09,758 Well, I see myself teaching. 1191 01:09:09,758 --> 01:09:13,175 And I see myself getting married 1192 01:09:13,175 --> 01:09:14,758 and raising a family. 1193 01:09:17,383 --> 01:09:18,800 What? 1194 01:09:22,008 --> 01:09:24,508 It's gettin' late. 1195 01:09:24,508 --> 01:09:26,925 Why don't I take you home? 1196 01:09:26,925 --> 01:09:28,925 Or... 1197 01:09:28,925 --> 01:09:30,842 I could sleep over like old times. 1198 01:09:48,800 --> 01:09:50,467 God. 1199 01:09:55,592 --> 01:09:58,342 Hi. 1200 01:10:07,300 --> 01:10:09,008 - Here we are. - Yeah. 1201 01:10:09,008 --> 01:10:11,633 Yeah. 1202 01:10:22,508 --> 01:10:24,175 This is it. 1203 01:10:24,175 --> 01:10:27,217 You're finally gonna have sex with Jamie Palamino. 1204 01:10:27,217 --> 01:10:31,592 Oh God, look at that face. Look at that body. 1205 01:10:31,592 --> 01:10:34,925 Why are you smiling like a friggin' idiot? 1206 01:10:34,925 --> 01:10:37,300 Go on, make a move. 1207 01:10:37,300 --> 01:10:39,425 Make a move! 1208 01:10:41,508 --> 01:10:43,508 What's on your mind? 1209 01:10:43,508 --> 01:10:45,342 Bush. 1210 01:10:46,550 --> 01:10:49,592 President Bush, The First Family, really. 1211 01:10:57,342 --> 01:11:00,258 Dude, you're killing me! 1212 01:11:00,258 --> 01:11:03,467 This is the girl of your dreams. Ravish her! 1213 01:11:03,467 --> 01:11:05,675 But what if she doesn't want to be ravished? 1214 01:11:05,675 --> 01:11:08,300 What if she wants to stay friends? Friends don't ravish each other? 1215 01:11:08,342 --> 01:11:10,550 Friends watch "New Year's Rockin' Eve." 1216 01:11:10,550 --> 01:11:12,342 I wonder who's hosting this year? 1217 01:11:12,342 --> 01:11:15,633 Chris, can you put your feet on mine? They're freezing. 1218 01:11:15,633 --> 01:11:17,383 Yeah. 1219 01:11:17,383 --> 01:11:19,550 Hell yeah. Her feet aren't even cold. 1220 01:11:19,550 --> 01:11:21,467 This is it. 1221 01:11:21,467 --> 01:11:24,717 Don't even think about how weird tomorrow's gonna be. 1222 01:11:27,967 --> 01:11:32,133 - Chris. - Oh, God. Oh, God. 1223 01:11:32,133 --> 01:11:34,717 What're you doing? Where're you going? 1224 01:11:34,717 --> 01:11:37,133 - Is everything all right? - Everything's fine. 1225 01:11:37,133 --> 01:11:39,925 Yeah. You okay? You need another blanket or anything? 1226 01:11:39,925 --> 01:11:41,633 No, I'm fine. 1227 01:11:41,633 --> 01:11:44,800 You're not gonna make a move, are you? 1228 01:11:44,800 --> 01:11:47,508 - Good night, Jamie. - Good night, Chris. 1229 01:11:47,508 --> 01:11:50,258 You don't deserve a penis. 1230 01:11:52,592 --> 01:11:54,383 God, and we had this great night 1231 01:11:54,383 --> 01:11:56,508 and we were laughing 1232 01:11:56,508 --> 01:11:59,008 and we were showing each other old pictures and... 1233 01:11:59,008 --> 01:12:00,967 - Did he try anything? - No! 1234 01:12:00,967 --> 01:12:04,425 - Did you try anything? - No, but I put myself out there. 1235 01:12:04,425 --> 01:12:06,800 I mean, I wore the sexy white shirt 1236 01:12:06,800 --> 01:12:10,425 and I did the whole cold-feet move and we slept in the same bed. 1237 01:12:10,425 --> 01:12:13,217 What the hell is wrong with you? I mean, why didn't you sleep with her? 1238 01:12:13,258 --> 01:12:15,133 - I know. I had her. - I mean, are you two 1239 01:12:15,133 --> 01:12:17,217 on the same menstrual cycle yet or what? 1240 01:12:17,217 --> 01:12:20,925 I don't know, I don't know, I don't know. 1241 01:12:20,925 --> 01:12:23,383 Maybe I just don't compare to these I.A. Girls. 1242 01:12:23,383 --> 01:12:25,675 Look, the timing just wasn't right, you know? 1243 01:12:25,675 --> 01:12:30,133 I'm... I'm laying there. I'm about to make my move 1244 01:12:30,133 --> 01:12:32,592 and then suddenly it just hits me. 1245 01:12:32,592 --> 01:12:34,592 Where's this going? 1246 01:12:34,592 --> 01:12:36,675 What happens after we sleep together? 1247 01:12:36,675 --> 01:12:38,758 Does she move to I.A.? Do I move back here? 1248 01:12:38,758 --> 01:12:41,758 Jesus, Dude. I thought you just wanted to sleep with her. 1249 01:12:41,758 --> 01:12:44,425 Maybe he just wants to be friends. 1250 01:12:44,425 --> 01:12:47,175 Maybe he's gay. 1251 01:12:47,175 --> 01:12:49,758 I can't just sleep with Jamie Palamino. We have a history. 1252 01:12:49,758 --> 01:12:51,967 - We're... we're... we're... we're... - Friends. 1253 01:12:53,967 --> 01:12:55,967 God damn it! 1254 01:12:55,967 --> 01:12:58,217 I'm right back in high school again, you know? 1255 01:12:58,217 --> 01:13:01,967 I gotta follow my own advice. I gotta just walk away. 1256 01:13:01,967 --> 01:13:03,467 No, put me on the 3:00. 1257 01:13:03,467 --> 01:13:05,467 The sooner I get out of here, the better. 1258 01:13:05,467 --> 01:13:08,258 - You sure about this? - No. 1259 01:13:27,258 --> 01:13:29,592 Hey listen. I gotta hang out 1260 01:13:29,592 --> 01:13:31,467 with my friends over there, okay? 1261 01:13:31,467 --> 01:13:34,342 I'll talk to you tonight. 1262 01:13:36,133 --> 01:13:39,467 - What's up, homies? - You tell me. 1263 01:13:39,467 --> 01:13:41,342 - What's with the nurse? - Oh, Janice. 1264 01:13:41,342 --> 01:13:43,842 Another bee in the hive, my friend, 1265 01:13:43,842 --> 01:13:46,967 - just another bee. - Well, what about Jamie? 1266 01:13:46,967 --> 01:13:48,758 What about her? I mean, hey, 1267 01:13:48,758 --> 01:13:51,342 it's great, right? Two biggest geeks back in the day 1268 01:13:51,342 --> 01:13:53,758 now finally have a shot with the hottest chick in high school? 1269 01:13:53,758 --> 01:13:56,592 - You can't write that stuff, my friend. - Hey, are you kidding me? 1270 01:13:56,592 --> 01:13:59,092 Oh, come on, man. Cut the nice guy routine. 1271 01:13:59,092 --> 01:14:01,342 I know what you're up to and I am all for it. 1272 01:14:01,342 --> 01:14:03,800 I mean it is gonna be sweet revenge on Jamie Palamino 1273 01:14:03,800 --> 01:14:05,842 for keeping us in the friend zone all those years. 1274 01:14:05,842 --> 01:14:08,550 Oh, yeah, you wish you were in the friend zone. 1275 01:14:08,550 --> 01:14:10,883 I was in the friend zone. Friend zone's mine. 1276 01:14:10,883 --> 01:14:13,842 - Dusty, popcorn's ready. - Copy that, I'm mobile. 1277 01:14:13,842 --> 01:14:15,675 - Listen, I gotta run. - The man's juice! 1278 01:14:15,675 --> 01:14:17,758 You guys have a nice time. It's been nice seeing you. 1279 01:14:17,758 --> 01:14:20,967 Have fun with Jamie. I know I will. Clark, always a pleasure. 1280 01:14:20,967 --> 01:14:22,883 - Dinkleman. - Son of a bitch. 1281 01:14:24,925 --> 01:14:27,175 So we're looking at day cares. 1282 01:14:27,175 --> 01:14:29,758 And Darla's got this one picked out for TJ and it's great. 1283 01:14:29,758 --> 01:14:32,383 And you know, don't get me wrong, I want the best for my kid. 1284 01:14:32,383 --> 01:14:34,258 I mean he deserves the best 1285 01:14:34,258 --> 01:14:37,842 but Tiny Tots is just too... oh, Mariah Carey! 1286 01:14:41,675 --> 01:14:43,675 What the hell are you doing?! 1287 01:14:43,675 --> 01:14:46,300 This is a Pontiac Grand Prix! 1288 01:14:46,300 --> 01:14:48,300 I'm sorry, okay?! 1289 01:14:48,300 --> 01:14:51,092 But I can't let Dinkleman get away with this! 1290 01:14:51,092 --> 01:14:54,883 I refuse to sit back and let Jamie get used by another asshole! 1291 01:14:54,883 --> 01:14:58,425 You could've asked! I.A. Guys are so dramatic. 1292 01:14:58,425 --> 01:15:00,883 - I'm sorry! - Okay. 1293 01:15:07,175 --> 01:15:10,217 You know, one good snowfall and you won't see any of this. 1294 01:15:17,800 --> 01:15:19,925 Hi, Mr. Palamino. How are you? 1295 01:15:19,925 --> 01:15:22,300 Come to destroy the rest of the house? 1296 01:15:22,300 --> 01:15:25,050 Look, I'm really sorry about yesterday. 1297 01:15:25,050 --> 01:15:28,675 And that. 1298 01:15:28,675 --> 01:15:31,758 Look, I know you hate me, but I need to speak with Jamie. Where is she? 1299 01:15:31,758 --> 01:15:34,717 - She's gone off with Mr. Lee. - Dry cleaner? 1300 01:15:34,717 --> 01:15:38,050 - No. Dusty, you jackass. - Where are they? 1301 01:16:12,217 --> 01:16:14,800 - Chris, what're you doing here? - I need to talk to you. 1302 01:16:18,383 --> 01:16:19,425 Dusty! 1303 01:16:20,842 --> 01:16:21,883 Yes! 1304 01:16:24,342 --> 01:16:26,592 - I really need to speak with you! - This next number 1305 01:16:26,592 --> 01:16:28,925 - is for your favorite teacher and mine. - Let's go. 1306 01:16:28,925 --> 01:16:31,092 She put this wonderful concert together for all of us. 1307 01:16:31,092 --> 01:16:34,133 Give a big round of applause to Miss Jamie Palamino. 1308 01:16:45,258 --> 01:16:47,675 God, I still can't believe he wrote me that song. 1309 01:16:47,675 --> 01:16:50,842 I can. He's been working on that song since high school, remember? 1310 01:16:50,842 --> 01:16:52,675 It's like the stalker's national anthem. 1311 01:16:52,675 --> 01:16:54,967 Not to mention I already heard that song today, 1312 01:16:54,967 --> 01:16:57,092 only it was Janice's eyes that made him smile. 1313 01:16:57,092 --> 01:16:59,925 - Janice? Who's Janice? - A nurse with really big boobs 1314 01:16:59,925 --> 01:17:03,425 that works at the medical center. A girl I saw him kissing earlier tonight. 1315 01:17:03,425 --> 01:17:06,175 Dusty's a Jersey player, Jamie! 1316 01:17:06,175 --> 01:17:07,592 He's out for revenge on you 1317 01:17:07,592 --> 01:17:09,633 for putting him in the friend zone in high school. 1318 01:17:09,633 --> 01:17:11,425 What are you talking about? 1319 01:17:11,425 --> 01:17:13,467 The guy's looking for the anger bang! 1320 01:17:13,467 --> 01:17:16,425 Amazing! That's exactly what he said about you. 1321 01:17:16,425 --> 01:17:18,550 - Don't you see what's happening here? - I don't know. 1322 01:17:18,717 --> 01:17:20,967 The guy's just out-playing me, that's all. 1323 01:17:20,967 --> 01:17:23,217 It's about you! Now he's out-playing you! 1324 01:17:23,217 --> 01:17:25,217 - W-what am I, a game? - No! 1325 01:17:25,217 --> 01:17:27,050 Would you guys like to join us in a carol 1326 01:17:27,050 --> 01:17:29,675 - to celebrate the birth of our Lord? - No! 1327 01:17:34,050 --> 01:17:37,925 My God, don't! Dusty! Don't! 1328 01:17:37,925 --> 01:17:40,175 - Dinkleman! - What is the matter with you? 1329 01:17:40,175 --> 01:17:42,383 This is a Christmas concert for children! 1330 01:17:42,383 --> 01:17:45,092 - You liar! - Suckster's not your boyfriend, is he? 1331 01:17:45,092 --> 01:17:48,550 - No, he's not! - 'Cause we like Dusty. 1332 01:17:48,550 --> 01:17:50,800 Dusty! Dusty! Dusty! Dusty! 1333 01:17:50,800 --> 01:17:52,592 Dusty! Dusty! Dusty...! 1334 01:17:54,425 --> 01:17:56,842 I'm being framed! I'm being framed! 1335 01:17:58,133 --> 01:18:01,217 - Dusty! - Dinkleman! 1336 01:18:01,217 --> 01:18:04,258 Man, when you come back to town, you come back to town! 1337 01:18:04,258 --> 01:18:08,050 Look, don't sweat it. 1338 01:18:08,050 --> 01:18:10,175 We'll go to The Maple tonight 1339 01:18:10,175 --> 01:18:11,883 You can apologize to Jamie 1340 01:18:11,883 --> 01:18:15,425 and everything will be just... just peachy. 1341 01:18:15,425 --> 01:18:17,758 Okay, yep, good. Thanks, Clark, for everything. 1342 01:18:17,758 --> 01:18:20,133 See you in another 10 years. Guess not. 1343 01:18:22,342 --> 01:18:24,842 How'd it go with Jamie last night? You boink her? 1344 01:18:24,842 --> 01:18:27,258 That would be a no. 1345 01:18:27,258 --> 01:18:29,508 Raise you hand if your brother's a homo! 1346 01:18:30,883 --> 01:18:33,217 All right. Keep in touch! 1347 01:18:37,717 --> 01:18:42,008 You believe that? Not one taxi, not one. 1348 01:18:42,008 --> 01:18:44,592 Stupid town. I gotta take the bus! 1349 01:18:44,592 --> 01:18:46,133 Dude, bus sucks! 1350 01:18:47,800 --> 01:18:50,758 Yes! I am outta here! 1351 01:18:52,675 --> 01:18:56,425 So long, Sucktown! Kiss my ass! 1352 01:18:58,133 --> 01:19:00,633 Hey, Mr. Bus Driver Man. 1353 01:19:00,633 --> 01:19:02,342 Hey... 1354 01:19:02,342 --> 01:19:05,842 pull my finger. Come on, pull my finger. 1355 01:19:31,883 --> 01:19:35,383 - Great. - Jamie! 1356 01:19:35,383 --> 01:19:38,092 - Whoa, miss, miss. - What? What, what, wha... 1357 01:19:38,092 --> 01:19:40,425 - what, Chris? What do you want? - I just want to apologize. 1358 01:19:40,467 --> 01:19:42,300 I'm sorry. I was out of line, okay? 1359 01:19:42,300 --> 01:19:44,758 - You're an asshole. - Oh, my... I was... 1360 01:19:44,758 --> 01:19:47,300 Hey, I'm gonna get you a cab and take you home? 1361 01:19:47,300 --> 01:19:50,550 - She's so sensitive! - You blew it. I'm winning. 1362 01:19:50,550 --> 01:19:52,883 - You're the Devil. - So go ahead, just go sleep it off. 1363 01:19:52,883 --> 01:19:54,967 You'll be right as rain in the morning, brother. 1364 01:19:54,967 --> 01:19:57,883 Chris, you're drunk! Go home! 1365 01:19:57,883 --> 01:20:00,342 I'm not drunk. What's this? 1366 01:20:01,467 --> 01:20:04,842 "Simply Dusty" 1367 01:20:04,842 --> 01:20:06,925 Is there any other kind? That's adorable. 1368 01:20:06,925 --> 01:20:08,925 Do you know what else is adorable? You two. 1369 01:20:08,925 --> 01:20:11,883 Hey! Stop bringing Dusty into your problems, okay? 1370 01:20:11,883 --> 01:20:13,883 Dusty and I are fine. 1371 01:20:13,883 --> 01:20:16,508 - Dusty and I are friends. - Right! 1372 01:20:16,508 --> 01:20:19,342 - Not for too long, I hope. - Yeah... 1373 01:20:19,342 --> 01:20:20,883 Wait, what? 1374 01:20:20,883 --> 01:20:22,758 Slow down. What did you just say? 1375 01:20:22,758 --> 01:20:25,050 Jamie, listen, I've been meaning to talk to you. 1376 01:20:25,050 --> 01:20:27,050 I... about our relationship. 1377 01:20:27,050 --> 01:20:29,717 Maybe we could take the next step or something? 1378 01:20:29,717 --> 01:20:31,217 Dusty, can I be honest with you? 1379 01:20:31,217 --> 01:20:33,967 - I think you're a really nice guy. - Thank you. 1380 01:20:33,967 --> 01:20:36,258 I think you're funny and charming and sweet, 1381 01:20:36,258 --> 01:20:39,342 and I just don't have those feelings for you. 1382 01:20:39,342 --> 01:20:41,258 - You're kidding. - No. 1383 01:20:45,758 --> 01:20:48,925 Okay, 'cause... cause I wrote you that song and everything, 1384 01:20:48,925 --> 01:20:50,842 you know, and I worked really hard on it 1385 01:20:50,842 --> 01:20:53,967 and what kind of girl would you be if you didn't put out for the guy that wrote 1386 01:20:53,967 --> 01:20:55,925 you that song, you know what mean? 1387 01:20:57,592 --> 01:21:00,050 F- this. I'm mobile. 1388 01:21:05,675 --> 01:21:08,008 I'm gonna miss him! 1389 01:21:09,717 --> 01:21:12,133 What? 1390 01:21:14,758 --> 01:21:16,758 Get off me, Chris! Why are you here? 1391 01:21:16,758 --> 01:21:18,342 Why do you keep messing with my head? 1392 01:21:18,508 --> 01:21:20,592 I messed with your head for three days. 1393 01:21:20,592 --> 01:21:23,633 You've been torturing me since the sixth grade! 1394 01:21:23,633 --> 01:21:25,425 So that's what this is about? 1395 01:21:25,425 --> 01:21:28,258 Because I wouldn't screw you in high school? Get over yourself! 1396 01:21:28,258 --> 01:21:31,675 After years of you being the biggest tease, 1397 01:21:31,675 --> 01:21:34,342 trust me, I'm so over myself. 1398 01:21:34,342 --> 01:21:36,050 So now I'm the tease. 1399 01:21:36,050 --> 01:21:37,633 I practically throw myself at you 1400 01:21:37,633 --> 01:21:39,300 the other night and you did nothing! 1401 01:21:39,300 --> 01:21:42,925 And now you know how it feels. 1402 01:21:42,925 --> 01:21:44,883 I'm outta here. 1403 01:21:44,883 --> 01:21:47,217 Yeah, there you go. Just walk away like you always do! 1404 01:21:47,217 --> 01:21:48,967 Oh, no no no. I'm-I'm not walking away. 1405 01:21:48,967 --> 01:21:51,050 I'm running back to my great life in I.A.! 1406 01:21:51,050 --> 01:21:53,592 - Great. Well, have fun. - You have fun... 1407 01:21:53,592 --> 01:21:55,842 being the girl who peaked in high school. 1408 01:21:55,842 --> 01:21:58,883 - Ooohh! - You slap like a cheerleader. 1409 01:21:58,883 --> 01:22:00,925 Bye, Chris. 1410 01:22:02,842 --> 01:22:04,758 And stay out! 1411 01:22:09,842 --> 01:22:11,425 I've always wanted to say that. 1412 01:23:21,842 --> 01:23:23,425 How did you get in here? 1413 01:23:23,425 --> 01:23:25,758 My bodyguard let me in. 1414 01:23:25,758 --> 01:23:28,508 I was making cookies. 1415 01:23:28,508 --> 01:23:30,217 I was trying to be all domesticated 1416 01:23:30,217 --> 01:23:32,467 like that skank you were banging behind my back. 1417 01:23:32,467 --> 01:23:33,925 Please leave me alone. 1418 01:23:35,050 --> 01:23:37,050 No! 1419 01:23:37,050 --> 01:23:38,717 Hugs and kisses! 1420 01:23:38,717 --> 01:23:42,133 It's all good, baby, it's all good. 1421 01:23:42,133 --> 01:23:45,217 By making me jealous on purpose you inspire me to write the best songs, 1422 01:23:45,217 --> 01:23:47,050 you know, full of angst and hate! 1423 01:23:47,050 --> 01:23:49,842 You like that. You and I are gonna be 1424 01:23:49,842 --> 01:23:51,925 the greatest musical manager team 1425 01:23:51,925 --> 01:23:54,300 since Jessica Simpson and her father... 1426 01:23:54,300 --> 01:23:56,383 only we get to "mreow" and they can't, 1427 01:23:56,383 --> 01:23:58,967 'cause it's illegal. I looked it up. 1428 01:23:58,967 --> 01:24:02,550 This is the new and improved "Forgiveness." 1429 01:24:15,633 --> 01:24:18,050 Are you sorry? 1430 01:24:24,425 --> 01:24:26,175 - No. - No? 1431 01:24:26,175 --> 01:24:29,175 - No more. - But I've forgiven you! 1432 01:24:29,175 --> 01:24:31,383 It's just like the song... 1433 01:24:31,383 --> 01:24:34,800 This isn't about you. 1434 01:24:34,800 --> 01:24:37,175 It's cool, you can have other girls. I like girls. 1435 01:24:37,175 --> 01:24:39,050 Darla! 1436 01:24:39,050 --> 01:24:41,133 I don't want other girls. 1437 01:24:41,300 --> 01:24:42,842 I want one girl. 1438 01:24:44,258 --> 01:24:46,217 That's not you. 1439 01:24:51,883 --> 01:24:53,258 Look. I'll call... 1440 01:25:01,717 --> 01:25:04,133 - Why don't you like me? - It's a little hard to answer 1441 01:25:04,133 --> 01:25:06,133 with a taser in my balls! 1442 01:25:06,133 --> 01:25:08,842 This is about Santa's little whore, isn't it? 1443 01:25:12,550 --> 01:25:14,592 Yeah, it's go time. 1444 01:25:14,592 --> 01:25:15,925 Hey, hey, hey! It's not go time! 1445 01:25:15,925 --> 01:25:17,925 This isn't how it works, Samantha. 1446 01:25:17,925 --> 01:25:21,508 You can't force or-or torture someone into liking you. 1447 01:25:21,508 --> 01:25:23,133 The big speech. 1448 01:25:23,133 --> 01:25:24,925 No! You just have to put yourself out there 1449 01:25:24,925 --> 01:25:26,217 and hope that they like you back. 1450 01:25:26,217 --> 01:25:28,092 This isn't a game! This is my life! 1451 01:25:28,092 --> 01:25:30,008 Oh, yeah, well, this is my life! 1452 01:25:30,008 --> 01:25:31,925 Okay? I'm sorry. 1453 01:25:31,925 --> 01:25:35,050 I'm not the most boring person ever! 1454 01:25:35,050 --> 01:25:36,633 Okay? I'm sorry I'm not poor! 1455 01:25:37,717 --> 01:25:39,550 I'm sorry... 1456 01:25:39,550 --> 01:25:42,967 I'm sorry I don't have a fat ass! 1457 01:25:42,967 --> 01:25:45,633 I'm sorry I'm not... where're you going? 1458 01:26:02,758 --> 01:26:04,217 Hey! Hey, where is she? 1459 01:26:20,008 --> 01:26:22,008 Hi. 1460 01:26:22,008 --> 01:26:24,133 Jamie. Look, Jamie! 1461 01:26:26,050 --> 01:26:28,175 I said a lot of really crappy things the other night 1462 01:26:28,175 --> 01:26:31,217 and I'm sorry about that. 1463 01:26:31,217 --> 01:26:33,800 I haven't been a very good friend to you and I'm sorry, okay? 1464 01:26:33,800 --> 01:26:37,842 I just... the truth is I'm-I'm afraid to be your friend 1465 01:26:37,842 --> 01:26:39,675 'cause I'm always gonna want more. 1466 01:26:40,800 --> 01:26:42,550 But then I got to thinking that-that 1467 01:26:42,550 --> 01:26:45,300 I'd rather have you in my life as a friend than not at all. 1468 01:26:48,717 --> 01:26:50,633 You know what? That's a lie too. 1469 01:26:55,050 --> 01:26:56,842 Why are you back here? 1470 01:26:58,800 --> 01:27:00,592 Because I want to take you on a date. 1471 01:27:02,633 --> 01:27:05,508 And I don't care if it's in the day or at night 1472 01:27:05,508 --> 01:27:08,967 or whenever, as long as it's a real date. 1473 01:27:08,967 --> 01:27:12,133 And I want to tell you how beautiful I think you are inside and out. 1474 01:27:13,300 --> 01:27:15,592 And I want to have babies with you 1475 01:27:15,592 --> 01:27:18,550 and I want to marry you and I love you. 1476 01:27:20,008 --> 01:27:22,050 Jamie, I always have. 1477 01:27:28,258 --> 01:27:30,467 Sorry. Just... 1478 01:27:30,467 --> 01:27:32,383 20 years all at once! 1479 01:27:54,633 --> 01:27:55,758 Unbelievable! 1480 01:27:55,758 --> 01:27:57,842 Suckster's making out with Mrs. P! 1481 01:27:57,842 --> 01:28:00,133 What is she thinking? 1482 01:28:00,133 --> 01:28:03,342 - Hey, Sarah, do you want my last cookie? - Thanks, Brett! 1483 01:28:03,342 --> 01:28:05,550 Hey, Joey, do you want some of my cookie? 1484 01:28:05,550 --> 01:28:07,217 Don't mind if I do. 1485 01:28:07,217 --> 01:28:10,508 - You're such a good friend, Brett. - The bestest! 1486 01:28:11,842 --> 01:28:12,592 Oh, shit! 1487 01:28:13,842 --> 01:28:17,800 Blu-ray authoring: Wojciech Janio & Agata Wactawiak 102738