Original subtitles

(sudden stinging)

(ominous music)

(ghostly chanting)

- No, ah, no!

(foreboding music)

(ghostly chanting) (maniacal laughing)

- Let the sacrifice begin.

Oh great Lucifer, we--

(thudding) - What was that?

- What is that noise all about, will someone go and check?

- I don't see anything.

(growling)

- What on earth is that?

(anticipatory music) (screaming)

(electronic music)

* Come on girl, you can do it, shock that body nothing to it

* Come on girl, left and right, blast that body outta sight

* Go on girl, twist and turn, take it deep and feel the burn

* Go on girl, you can do it

* Reach around there's nothing to it

* Come on girl, no time for talk, bust into the body shock

* Sweat tonight and feel the heat, keep on turning

* Up the beat, time to sweat, time to moan

* Take me to the danger zone

* Come on take it to the max, bend that body, move that ass

* Come on girl, you can do it, shock that body nothing to it

* Come on girl, no time for talk, bust into the body shock

- Eat your heart out, Jane Fonda.

Gotcha! - Ah what the hell babe!

Watch the quaff! - Like what you see?

- You know it. (moaning)

Oh I like where this is going. - No way Jose.

I gotta get up bright and early and hit the road.

- Oh come on!

You're not really going away for the weekend are you?

- Yeah Brock, it's tradition, plus I convinced Abby to come.

- Crabby-Abby. - Don't call her that.

She just needs to have some fun and relax.

- Yeah but so do I, you can't leave me hanging here babe.

A man has needs.

- Nope you gotta get outta here, before someone hears you

and I get in trouble. - No babe, my needs!

Don't make me beg, Mistress Morgana.

- But begging pleases your mistress.

(ominous music)

(upbeat music)

This tune is totally bitchin', right on.

Come on, let's get this weekend off to a great start.

- Where are you bringing us, Sloane?

It's like civilization ended like over an hour ago.

I mean look what the wind is doing to my hair.

- Well, you know, CFCs are like the biggest cause

of all the pollution, the CFCs in the hairspray alone

is enough to--

- Ugh, (mumbling) Abby.

God stop being such annoyed. - Come on ladies, cool out.

It's the weekend we rented a totally awesome pad,

we're the only people around for miles, which means,

we can party as hard as we want, and no one's gonna stop us.

- Well the pictures looked great in the brochure,

and, the people seemed really sweet on the phone.

- [Sloane] Yeah, plus it has everything a group of sorority

girls could hope for, we each get our own room,

heaps of bathrooms and walking distance to the beach.

- Well we're not all sorority girls, some of us are just,

hangers-on, if you catch my drift.

- Well I can't wait to work on my tan line,

Doug loves it when my butt is as white as a ghost

and the rest of the body is golden like french fries.

- Plus there's a hot tub. - Yes please!

I haven't hot tubbed since the Trilam boys threw that

little shindig, when Mags here up-chucked all over

Trent Scheinheart. - Ugh, don't remind me.

- [Sloane] You can not handle your

Alabama Slammers, girlfriend.

- Ugh I spent the night at Bellevue.

They stuck this super long tube down my throat,

it was like the worst.

- You probably had alcohol poisoning.

You could've died. - Nah, no biggie.

I've been declared dead a bunch of times.

I'm like a cat, I've like nine lives and counting.

- Yeah well, it ain't a real party unless Mags

here flatlined at least once.

- You know it. - Oh my God, we're here!

(anticipatory music)

Let's make a pact ladies...

Let's make this the best weekend ever, agreed?

- Totally. - Sure.

- Why not? (cheering)

- Oh my God I am totally stiff.

- That's what he said? - What?

- Your boyfriend last night? - What?

- What, uhm, nevermind.

- Okay, uhm, oh, can we go in the hot tub, can we?

- Yeah, we can do whatever you want, this is our party.

Let's get started. - Yes!

- Ugh, sure looks good in the brochure, eh Abby?

- Poor gopher, I'm sure you led an awesome

and fulfilling life.

- Don't let this ruin anything, there's still a beach,

and I'm sure it's way better on the inside, right?

See? (foreboding music)

- Ugh, thank God, I was honestly seconds away from

skinning you three alive for bringing me to this hellhole.

- You need to loosen up, relax, get your nose out of

those books and life a little.

- I live like all the time.

- I've known you since you were seven Abby,

you're in college now, if I didn't invite you out with us,

you'd have absolutely no social life whatsoever.

- Well what's wrong with that?

- I invited you over here so you could hang out with us.

See if the sorority could be a good thing for you.

Stop being so miserable all the time.

There'll be lots of time for that,

after you get married and have kids.

Feel free to get off your tush and help Lulu.

- Ugh, you know my parents said we can have Consuela

for the weekend, right?

- I think we can survive a weekend without your maid

helping us do everything.

- Well I know we can, but do we really want to?

- Just go get some bags and help, please?

- Ugh, you guys suck!

- Obviously I get the master suite, but each of you

has to pick a stick to see who gets what room.

We'll go by age, so Lulu, then Margot and then Abby.

- If I pull the short stick! - Just do it.

- That's how it's done ladies.

- Margot?

- Nice and long...

- Woohoo, I'm having so much fun I can't even stand it.

- It's not that bad, so, Lulu you get the room on the left,

Margot, you're on the right, and Abby you can choose

whatever's left.

- Don't worry, it'll be easier to stumble into bed

once you're drunk, am I right?

- Hey, what are you doing? - Hey, uh, nothing!

Nothing, nothing, what's up?

- Uhm, you're on your period right?

- Yeah, actually last day, how could you tell?

- You're just really bloated and irritating.

Anyhoodle, can I borrow a tampon?

- Oh, oh sure yeah, uhm...

- Thanks, uhm, have you ever thought about,

losing the glasses and getting some contact lenses?

- No, sticking my fingers in my eyes every day

would like totally freak me out, and besides I've read

like all these sites about the amount of bacteria--

- Yeah that's the worst, uhm, you should probably think

about ditching those Sally Jessy Raphael monstrosities,

and getting some contact lenses, toodles.

- Well look at you, talk about va-va-va-voom!

- Stop, don't, don't do that. - Do what?

I think you look awesome without glasses.

We're heading down to the lake, you in?

- Uh... - Come on!

(foreboding music)

- Well Ted, what the heck's going on out there?

- It looks like the cottage down the way is being used

by a group of college kids this weekend.

- What, I thought Kenny said he wasn't renting to

college kids anymore. - Money is money.

- I know but they're so darn noisy.

- I hear you Jane, not much we can do about it now.

- [Jane] Damn college kids.

- The whole point of the beach is to wear

as little as possible, not to put on layer on layer.

- At this hour, the sun is at its highest and the rays

are at their peak, you know as well as I do!

- Yes, yes, mother, bla bla bla.

You're wearing like SPF a million, right?

- Yeah.

- So peel off those layers, nobody likes an unpeeled onion,

right? - I guess so.

- Oh wow, you can really rock that mom look, did I miss

something, or is this look coming back.

- Rock that bod, you're a total Betty.

(surf music)

Hey you. - Oh, hey Sloane.

- What are you doing? - Not much.

- Not much, what are you doing?

- Just catching up on some reading.

- Reading, what if instead you got caught up on your fun.

Books aren't going anywhere, the beach season is only

a couple of months of the year.

- I know, I just--

- Is this about what Lulu said back at the house?

- Maybe. - Don't let it bother you.

She thinks she's totally bitchin', but the truth is,

she's totally a bitch. (laughing)

- Thanks, I know, I just...

I haven't always had a lot of friends.

I guess, I guess I've just been afraid to get close

to people, I had a rough time growing up you know,

without Dad. - I know, your dad died.

- It was Christmas time, we were all so excited

for the holidays, my parents had me make a list of

all the toys I wanted, so I sat down with

the store catalog and flipped through it page by page,

just jotting down all the toys I liked.

My mom and I went down to the mailbox,

and mailed the letter to Santa, I was so happy,

and so excited for Christmas Eve.

What I didn't know was my dad had a really special

surprise planned for that year.

He had gotten every gift on that list,

and he even bought a Santa suit.

He was planning to climb up the chimney and--

- Well, well it's boring.

It's summertime Abby, why bring the mood down

with your depressing story. - I know, I'm sorry.

- It's okay, I'm excited you're here,

and I'm excited that you're gonna be part of the sorority.

- I, technically no!

You've gotta know none of this is official.

I can't officially be part of the sorority if it takes

place off-campus, this is all just for show.

- What did I just say about being boring?

- You're right, go on.

- I know it's just for show, I don't care if it's on the

record or official, whatever, you're my sister,

and Lulu and Margot are my sisters also, and I just want you

to come together and be my sorority, you're all

the sorority in my heart. - Ach, puff-o-rama!

- Shut your facehole, come on let's get in the water.

- Okay. (calming music)

(moves into foreboding music)

- Watch out for mountain lions and bears and stuff.

- Oh and Bigfoot, he loves to hang around

in places like this. - Will do.

- What a dork.

- What is that?

(eerie music)

- If you're watching this, I'm probably already dead.

Hopefully those little bastards suffer the same fate,

I thought I'd be able to trap them down here

and make my escape, but, things didn't work out

as I'd hoped, so, here I am, relaying this message

in hopes that others may understand what's come to pass.

I don't know what they are, but they came from outer space,

I saw it with my own eyes.

Landing right here in a nearby field, damn them all to hell.

You can't let them get out.

They're here for one thing, and one thing alone.

To destroy and devour every man, woman and child,

and take over our planet, it's just like they said

in the sci-fi magazines.

I wasn't able to stop them, and I wasn't able to escape

and now I'm trapped down here, all alone.

Why God, why have you forsaken me?

If those creatures are still alive, blow those little

bastards to where they came from, and save the human race.

- It must be some kind of sci-fi flick.

Looks cheap though.

(sudden sting) (ominous mulling)

Oh, Abby you're such a klutz, wow!

(mumbling) access hatch.

What do you know.

Lame. - Hey Abby what are you doing?

- Oh hey, nothing. - We think the power went out.

We could use that thing on your head.

- I'm coming.

(eerie music)

You guys aren't gonna believe what I just...

Hello, Sloane?

- Turn off your light, stupid. - What?

- Turn off your light. - But I thought you needed?

- Turn it off! - Geez, okay.

Enter our circle and await judgment, pledge.

- But Sloane, I'm not even a real--

- Silence, get over here already.

- Okay, okay, fine.

- We're gathered here to honor our sisterly tradition

and commence the initiation, Abby Fisher, your membership

has been approved by the highest of the high,

we have conferred and we've decided, I accept your pledge.

- I accept your pledge.

- I accept your pledge.

- You've been selected to join

the Delta Alpha Kappa sorority and further be known as

a Delakap Girl.

Do you accept? - I don't know.

- Do you accept? - Fine, okay, sure!

- One of us, one of us!

- Honestly, I'm having a pretty good time,

thanks for dragging me along in this thing.

- I told you, and the best is yet to come,

now we drink the patented cocktail of the Delakap Girls,

in honor of our newest member.

- It's just Long Island Iced Tea with orange juice.

What, she's one of us now, she can know our secrets.

- No, no no no it was Lance. - That's right, Lance uhm...

Crowbus? - Sir Lancelot?

- Oh he had the biggest ears. - Hmm, that's not all.

- Gross, we were like 10 years old.

- I'm just yanking your crank, it was tiny.

- You are so bad.

- First guy who ever felt me up.

Not that there was anything to feel back then.

- First guy whoever felt me up was my cousin Roger.

He was the type of guy who liked to eat ice cream

with his hands, you know what I mean.

So his hands were always like sticky.

- Eww, that's not a real thing Mags.

- It was for Roger.

Most of that side of the family too,

big on hand-eating you know.

I guess they have something against utensils.

- I just wanna make a little toast.

- Okay, make it quick, these beverages aren't gonna

drink themselves, wait, wouldn't that be totally awesome?

- As I was saying, Abby, I've known you since you were

a little girl, I've been waiting two whole years

for you to start university, and I know it took

a lot of convincing for you to pledge, but I am

super-stoked that you did, I've always considered you

a sister, and now it's official, so to Abby,

and to ever Delakap Girl that is, and ever shall be.

- [Trio] Delta Alpha Kappa.

- You have to say it too.

- [Group] Delta Alpha Kappa!

- Would you like another? - Sure.

- You know, I was so scared when I pledged.

I didn't know anyone, it was a horrifying ordeal,

you're lucky you have such a great friend,

Sloane totally rocks.

- Yeah, nothing is gonna stop that girl, thank you.

- I'm glad you joined, we need a girl like you.

- Really, wait, right, because I'm like so hideous

or whatever that I make the rest of you guys look good.

- No, because we need beauty and brains,

so everyone doesn't think we're just bunch or ditzy girls,

you know, you have everything, consider yourself lucky Abby.

- Thanks, I guess.

What about all that mean stuff you were saying.

- Oh don't worry about what I say.

Everyone just thinks I'm some rich bitch

and that's what I'm comfortable being, so that's what I am.

But you should probably consider retiring that outfit,

unless you like looking like a homeless person.

(anticipatory music)

- What the hell dude, where's the stupid road already?

- Hey buddy wait, geez, can't get a break tonight.

(eerie chirping)

- Oh shit! (anticipatory music)

No way dude.

Great, just great.

A scratch, oh damn it, oh my dad's gonna kill me.

Oh this day couldn't get any worse!

Stupid animals, stay the hell off the road.

You dumb idiots.

(eerie music) (chirping)

(knife brandishing)

(laughing)

My face, my beautiful face!

(anticipatory music) (blood gushing)

- Hey, do you have anything from that guy

who like turns into a zombie but then also turns

into a werewolf I think or something, oh, that video

is so confusing.

- Do you even listen to yourself when you speak?

- Duh, all the time lamebrain, I'm not deaf.

(twig snapping) - What was that?

- Probably just some animal. - Maybe a raccoon.

- Ugh yuck you know those things are full of diseases right?

(twig snapping) What was that?

- It isn't a raccoon.

- Do you think it's smart to be out here with some like

rabid raccoons running wild. - It isn't a raccoon.

- Bigfoot, is it Bigfoot? - Probably not, Margot.

- Boo! - Boo!

- Dude! - Sorry.

I thought you meant three, then go.

- You total toolbags, what are you doing here?

Not so fast Mr. Bigshot.

- Hey Abby. - Hey Brock.

- Come on Babe, we drove all this way and you're not

gonna give me any sugar, God, hella neighborly of you.

- Oh you better have a sweet tooth.

(moaning)

- You remember my bro Pete, right?

- I've only met him like a hundred times.

- Hey Pete. - Hi.

- Yeah but people say he's totally forgettable.

- Only my real good friends it seems.

- See, I told you it was some rabid animals.

- Lulu, Mags, you guys got some mega-cool dance moves

in there. - Thanks Brock.

15 years of jazz ballet will teach you the good ones.

- [Brock] No doubt.

- So how long were guys spying on us?

- Long enough to know that you guys weren't gonna have

a pillow fight in your bras and panties anytime soon.

Pfft, talk about boring. - What a shame, Brock.

Had you held on for just five more minutes.

- Yeah we were just about to change into our sexy PJs,

and Margot here was just gonna get the pillows.

- No I wasn't.

Oh!

- Bummer, so, you chicks gonna let us party with you

or what?

- This was supposed to be girls only Brock, you know that.

- Yeah babe but you know I can't spend more than

two nights away from you, who's gonna do that thing

that helps me fall asleep, you know.

- Ugh, gag me with a spoon, what a perv.

- Ah he has a fused vertebrae, Lulu.

- And she's majoring in massage therapy,

get your mind outta the gutter would you.

(animal screeching)

- Maybe we should go inside.

- No, no, no, no, I say, we crack open some brewskies

and you guys let me and Pete here show you

how to build a real bonfire. - Totally.

- Go and check. - I will not go and check.

- Find out what the noise is all about.

- We know what it's about, it's those students down

at the other cottage.

- Yeah well their music's too darn loud.

- That's what it's like to be a youngfolk these days.

- Yeah well they can their MTV and stick it

where the sun don't shine.

- You're so colorful when you're drinking schnapps.

- Don't sweet-talk me, where's the dog?

- He's probably chasing something out in the woods.

He'll be fine.

- Oh man where is this stupid house.

Who orders pizza in the middle of frigging nowhere?

This is ridiculous.

(eerie hawking) (ominous music)

Stupid piece of crap car, why don't they ever break down

when you're near a mechanic, no, they gotta wait

until your out in the middle of nowhere

surrounded by dirt roads and trees and fricking nothing.

And it sucks.

Oh man, how am I gonna get home after I deliver this pizza?

I should've waited by the stupid car and let those

dumb hicks do without their stupid pizza, dumb move dude.

(laughing)

(twig snapping) Who's that, who goes there?

Are you a bear?

Yeah like it's a bear, like it's gonna be like,

"Yes, I'm a bear."

Oh shit, I'm holding food!

I'm walking around in the middle of nowhere

holding food, I'm a frigging bear buffet.

It's over there bear, go get it.

Or maybe it's a person, if you're a person,

maybe you could give me a hand, if you're a bear,

don't bother, oh what am I talking about,

I gotta keep moving.

Wow, what are you supposed to be?

(frolicking music)

Look if you're hungry the pizza's over there.

(laughing)

You like pizza don't you?

Okay, well I'm gonna go, so,

I'll catch you later, creepy little dude, oh crap.

Okay guys, I gotta go.

But I'll wait until the next car comes

and then I'll thumb a ride, you know, thumb.

(groaning) (laughing)

- So I hear you're an official member of Delta Alpha Kappa

now, congrats.

- Yeah uh, all my dreams and aspirations finally come true.

- Well that's some pretty heavy stuff you got there.

- I guess, I'm studying to become a mechanical engineer,

like my dad. - Oh right on.

So like, fixing cars and stuff?

- No, not, not really.

So what about you, what are you studying?

- Nada, no I decided to take a year off, you know,

starting to feel like I had spent my whole life in school

working towards something my parents wanted for me,

not really what I wanted, so, yeah I'm hoping to

figure some stuff out. - Wow.

I wish I had the nerve to do that.

Take time off, maybe travel somewhere far like Egypt

or France.

- You should totally do that, traveling is sweet.

I'm driving down to South America at the end

of the summer, and go scope out some bodacious waves.

You should totally come.

- Wow uhm, yeah, I don't know, maybe.

- Hey handsome, you're gonna miss the best part.

- Oh, well think about it.

Hey are you gonna come dance?

- Maybe after I finish this chapter.

- You snooze, you lose Abby. - Sweet!

(eerie music) - Fozzie, Fozzie!

Where are you at, stupid dog.

First no pizza and now the damn dog goes missing.

I'll swear this evening is going to heck in a hand basket.

- Hey are you sure Doug's coming?

I tried calling him on his car phone but he wouldn't answer.

- Dude said he had to close up the shop,

his dad's been really ragging on him to stick around

and learn the family business.

- It's a surf shop, what's to learn?

- Then he should've been here by now right?

- Yeah, yeah, but that guy could get lost in his own house.

Maybe his dad is right for ragging on him.

- I always tell him he'd lose his head if it wasn't tied on.

Why do I always fall for the flaky guys.

- Just keep trying Margot, dude's bound to pick up

sooner or later. - Yeah you're right.

(ominous music)

- She honestly said that to your face?

- Where else is she gonna say it to?

- That's cold, she's a (mumbling).

- I've been doing a lot of stress eating.

- Who wouldn't, your daughter's getting married Vinnie,

that's a very stressful situation, the wedding to plan,

floral arrangements, seating assignments.

- It's horrible, I eat because I'm stressed and now

I am stressed because I eat, it's a vicious cycle.

- Don't pay any attention to what Tina says,

she's seven, and she's caught up in the whirlwind

of her big sister's wedding, she's bound to lash out

here and there, and take it from me,

you don't look anything like a big tub of goo.

- Thanks Frank, so what have we got here?

- Looks like a car broke down.

Person wandered off.

Probably went in this direction.

Or maybe this direction.

They might've been drunk, or not, there are so many

possibilities in a situation like this.

- Yeah. Tell me about it.

I'll call it in. - Good idea.

Hey we should probably bike up to the old Springer place,

there are always kids coming up from university causing

problems there.

- I'll let Sheila know we've got a 10-50 off Spinny Road.

- Okay, and put your badge on.

- [Vinnie] Ah there's my badge and right next to a perfectly

good hunk of pizza, who could've lost this out here,

well, waste not want not.

Ah man that's good, and still hot.

(swanky music)

- I think we should head to bed if you know what I mean.

- [Sloane] Yeah I'm beat, we're going to bed.

- All right I guess we'll see you guys in the morning.

- Not if we see you first. - Good night.

- Don't let the bed bugs et cetera, et cetera...

- Oh my vertebrae.

- Oh let Mama make it all better.

(groaning) (upbeat music)

- Boy these old houses don't have good sound-proofing.

- And somehow the acoustics in these woods are amazing.

- Great...

- That's great baby, now I'm nice and loose,

like a long neck gander. (soft moaning)

- Wait a second, I had a feeling you would show up here.

I brought this.

- Oh you read my mind.

- And this. - Oh baby artichoke artichoke!

- Sorry sweetie, you know you're safe with me.

- You've gotta ease into it. - Yeah I will.

Let me get changed. - Right.

Oh, I brought something for you too.

- Oh really what is it? - Oh, I left it in the car.

You stay here, I'll be right back.

- [Sloane] Okay.

(calming music)

- What the hell was that?

(laughing)

No way, freaky-deaky, you all right there little guy huh?

(groaning) (screaming)

Hey little dude...

(screaming)

- Brock?

Oh yuck I can't believe I didn't notice that before.

Oh that's better, hurry up Brock.

Mistress does not like to be kept waiting.

(foreboding music)

Babe your hands are so cold, and slimy.

(screaming) (anticipatory music)

(groaning) (screaming)

- Geez get a room already.

- Maybe we can turn up the tunes.

- Yeah I don't know about you, but I'm not exactly a fan

of listening to people, you know, doing it.

- Tell me about it, I heard my parents porking when

I was a kid, I still have to go to therapy twice a week.

- He's faking it.

- Well, honestly I think I'm gonna call it a night.

- Yeah probably a good idea.

- Do you want me to show you to your room.

- Well actually, all the rooms here in the hall

are full so the only empty one is right beside mine.

- Okay, would you mind showing me?

- Yeah not at all. - Great, thanks Abby.

- I really had an awesome time playing that game tonight

and I'm sorry that kicking my butt wasn't more of

a challenge.

- No don't worry about it, even if you're an expert,

you probably wouldn't have won, taking blocks from

the bottom and putting them on top is like kinda my thing.

- Okay, cool, well, good night.

- Yeah you too. - All right.

- Oh my, sorry, sorry, I, my room's that way.

(muttering)

Ugh, smooth move, what was all that about?

(swanky music)

Brains and beauty huh?

- Too easy.

Eww, too challenging.

Oh, just right.

- Okay, okay you got this.

Hey Pete, I was just in the neighborhood and...

No that's...

Great.

- Knock knock. - Lulu?

- You look like you could use a nightcap.

- Oh uh, thanks for the offer, but I really should be

getting to bed. - Uh Pete I already opened it.

You can't just close good alcohol, it goes bad.

- Right...

Thanks, now--

- Ssshht!

Like a good whiskey, I don't go down easy.

- Wow Lulu, what are you doing?

- What does it look like I'm doing, it's pretty

self-explanatory isn't it?

- Listen, you're a really cool chick,

I really think that, but, I'm just not interested.

Maybe you should leave. - Really, honestly?

You're kicking me out?

Fine, you're gonna regret this, bub.

- Maybe, but I doubt it.

(foreboding music) - Ugh what a total loser.

He doesn't know what he's missing, this body is as tight

as they come, ugh damn it, perfect, just perfect.

Hey, hey, hey stupid raccoon, that's my whiskey.

Oh, you're one ugly motherf...

What the hell?

You're the ugliest raccoon I've ever seen.

Ugh, this weekend blows.

The only action I'm getting is from these stupid raccoons.

(chirping)

Get outta my face before I rip you limb from limb.

What you got something to say?

(laughing) (gasping)

- Another noun? - Armadillo.

- And an adjective. - Squishy.

- Oh man this is so good.

- Well come on read it out loud, don't just laugh at it

quietly to yourself.

- All right here we go, the little old cappie who lived

in the speaker decided one day to shoot

a tree house he found, it was the first time Satan

managed to puke all the way to the top, once there,

he scratched out onto a meatloaf and said,

"What an aquamarine day we're having."

The farts that lived in the wasps' nest, told him to say

hello to his armadillo, they always appreciated

how squishy she was to them.

Oh man these things totally make my day.

- I can't think of a better way to pass the time, can you?

(ominous music)

- Where's everybody?

Hello? Ah, stupid phone!

- Jesus Christ, Margot, you scared the crap outta me.

- Sorry Abby, are you sleeping?

- Well obviously not now.

- I haven't heard from Doug in a while,

and the phone's acting all screwy.

- Okay, and? - Can you take a look at it?

- Sure, yeah.

- This isn't like him though, if he was driving up

he would've answered his car phone.

And now, I can't even reach from here, so, who knows?

- What's up?

- [Both] Oh Jesus Christ!

- Sorry! - Don't do that!

- Sorry didn't mean to scare you.

- Oh my God. - What's wrong?

- Nothing, nothing Margot just said the phone

was acting weird.

- I haven't been able to reach Doug and I'm starting

to get worried.

- Hmm, it's no dial tone.

- That is weird.

- Yeah well I'm gonna go check up on Sloane and Brock then.

- Never a dull moment huh?

- [Margot] Hey sorry to wake you guys.

(screaming)

- What happened, oh my God.

- What the hell's going on here?

- Is this some kind of a prank, first the phone now this.

- I don't know, Brock is nuts, but this is

a little over the top.

- Lulu we gotta...

- Where's Lulu?

- I don't know. - What are we gonna do?

- I don't know Margot.

- You don't think she had anything to do with this do you?

- I don't know, I'm sorry, I just...

I mean she's gotta be here somewhere, right?

- Yeah, probably.

- Well what happened after she left your room?

- Nothing, I, I tossed and turned, I got up and I made

myself a sandwich. - Did you hear anything?

- [Pete] No.

- What was Lulu doing in your room?

- Nothing she came in, with a bottle of whiskey

and I kicked her right out. (growling)

What the hell is that?

- Rats or something.

- I'm started to get freaked right out.

- Me too, I think we need to call the police, come on.

- The phones aren't working.

- Okay, grab your keys, we passed a small town

about 20 minutes back, and they're bound to have

a police station or something. - Okay you got it.

- Okay I'll be right back. (eerie music)

What's wrong?

- There's something under the couch.

- Come on I think we need to get outta here.

Hey! - Wait Margot!

Margot!

- Jesus, go in the house!

What the hell was that thing?

- I don't know it looked like...

- Oh shit! - Run!

(ominous music)

Hurry!

(laughing)

(foreboding music)

- Hey, you wanna do a good cop bad cop routine?

Scare them a little? - Why not?

Kids these days have no respect for authority.

- Rock, paper, scissors. - Okay.

(groaning)

- Great minds huh, come on.

Haha doofus, I'm the bad cop. - Fine.

- Who's that?

- Maybe no one's home?

- Looks like they were having a party.

They trashed the couch, savages.

- Probably passed out drunk somewhere,

let's not waste our time.

You know, for just once, I would love for something

cool to happen around here. - I hear you brother.

I didn't become a cop just for this awesome uniform

and that rad cycle. - Me neither.

But what are you gonna do, small town like this,

not much goes on, a few drunks over at PJs

and once in a while a domestic dispute.

- Yeah, wait a minute!

Lookie, lookie chocolate cookie.

This tabaccy be wacky.

- Probable cause.

- Someone's gonna get a rude awakening.

- What should we do?

(anticipatory music)

- This is the police, we have reason to believe

there may illegal narcotics on the premises,

come out of your rooms or other hiding places

in an orderly fashion, with your hands above your heads,

or we'll be forced to take extreme measures.

- It's the cops.

Hey, we're over here, hey, hey we're here.

- What was that?

(mumbling)

Hey, what's that over there?

(laughing)

- I don't know...

- There's another one over here.

- Wow look at the size of that thing.

- And there's one here too.

(chirping)

- Hey check it out, we're surrounded.

(laughing)

- Oh no, watch out for the tiny creatures.

(screaming)

- [Frank] Wait, wait, how about we talk this over?

(guns firing)

- There goes the cavalry. (screaming)

Oh no! (gun clicks)

- I'm going, I'm going.

Goddammit, what are you stupid kids doing out here.

- Sorry mister I thought you were one of those things.

- Oh what things for heaven's sakes?

- These ghastly little creatures, they attacked me

and they killed all my friends.

There's one now! (gun fires)

(chirping)

Good shot. - Oh goddammit.

Look at what you made me do!

- No you got it.

- My God I thought it was some sort of wild animal.

- These things are worse, that's one of the things

that killed my friends. - Well they gotta eat to live.

- They what?

- They're carnivores, they eat people.

- And you know this how? - They're my friends.

Look at what you made me do. - Your friends?

- Yeah yeah you don't move a muscle now listen, okay?

Come on boys, time to eat up, that's right, eat up boys!

(laughing)

- No stop it!

Stop it, stop it!

- I told you we should've dealt with those college

kids sooner. - I know you did.

What should we do with this one?

- Well the little ones have already had a lot to eat

tonight, so, save this one for later.

- All right, walk this way.

- What are you gonna do with me?

- Oh I think you know honey. - Get in.

- Get in there? - You heard him.

- But what are you gonna do with me?

- Us, we're not gonna do anything to you dear.

(laughing) (energy beaming)

- What in blue blazes is going on up there?

(laughing)

(anticipatory music)

(laughing)

(chirping)

(muttering)

(surprised chirping)

(laughing)

(gun fires)

(laughing)

(laughing)

(muttering) (chirping)

(bomb exploding)

(chirping)

(screaming) (rock tumbling)

(gun fires) (laughing)

(upbeat music)

* What's that sound coming from under that bed

* It could be all in your head, yeah probably nothing at all

* Nothing at all, what's that thing

* Lurking over there under the rocking chair

* It's probably just a doll, just a doll

* What's that ship hovering up above

* It's coming to attack, groovy to the max

* Why God, why have you forsaken me

* They came out of the sky, stick a needle in my eye

* Did you ever wonder why, all your best friends had to die

* Come on gag me with a spoon, we're on a road to ruin

* These things are coming here

* From an intergalactic hemisphere

* We creatures, super strong

* But let's (mumbling)

* That's why I wrote this song, so ghastly

* Tear 'em up beneath the knees

* Hiding out inside the trees

* Anyway they're here to stay, they're Ghastlies

* What's that sound coming from under that bed

* It could be all in your head, yeah probably nothing at all

* Nothing at all, what's that thing

* Lurking over there under the rocking chair

* It's probably just a doll, just a doll

* What's that ship hovering up above

* Coming to attack, it's groovy to the max

* I don't know what they are

* But they came from outer space, I saw it with my own eyes

* Damn them all to hell

* They came out of the sky

* Stuck a needle in his eye

* Did you ever wonder why, all your best friends had to die

* Come on gag me with a spoon, we're on a road to ruin

* Beasties are coming here from an intergalactic hemisphere

* We creatures, super strong

* But let's (mumbling)

* That's why I wrote this song, so ghastly

* Anyway they're here to stay, they're Ghastlies

* They're here for one thing and one thing alone

* To destroy and devour every man, woman and child

* And take over our planet

* Did you ever wonder why, all your best friends had to die

* These things are super gross and nasty

* Did you ever wonder why, all your best friends had to die

* Never gonna give you up like Astley

* They came from outer space, to annihilate the human race

* Anyway they're here to stay, they're Ghastlies