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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:04,120 (BIRDS TWITTER, DOG BARKS) 2 00:00:04,120 --> 00:00:06,480 (CROCKERY CLANKS) 3 00:00:07,800 --> 00:00:10,480 (CLANKING CONTINUES) 4 00:00:18,200 --> 00:00:19,640 (ARTIE WHIMPERS) 5 00:00:19,640 --> 00:00:21,680 (BLENDER WHIRRS) May, I'm doing juice. 6 00:00:21,680 --> 00:00:23,120 Do you want juice? 7 00:00:23,120 --> 00:00:25,760 What? Juice? Do you want juice? 8 00:00:25,760 --> 00:00:29,440 No. And don't use the juicer, you'll wake Helen. 9 00:00:29,440 --> 00:00:30,760 What?! 10 00:00:35,280 --> 00:00:38,720 (BENDER WHIRRS LOUDLY) 11 00:00:55,480 --> 00:00:57,840 Morning, Helen. How was your weekend? 12 00:00:57,840 --> 00:00:59,440 Yeah. Good, thanks. 13 00:00:59,440 --> 00:01:00,880 What did you get up to? 14 00:01:00,880 --> 00:01:03,000 Um...made some pretty good soup. 15 00:01:03,000 --> 00:01:05,400 That's nice. Yeah. 16 00:01:05,400 --> 00:01:08,320 Brought the leftovers for lunch. Good for you. 17 00:01:10,760 --> 00:01:11,760 Is that all? 18 00:01:13,120 --> 00:01:16,000 I don't know, do you have any questions for me about my weekend? 19 00:01:17,680 --> 00:01:19,080 No. I don't think so. 20 00:01:21,120 --> 00:01:22,680 Alright, then. 21 00:01:25,600 --> 00:01:26,600 What was that about? 22 00:01:26,600 --> 00:01:28,240 Maybe she wanted some of your soup. 23 00:01:29,680 --> 00:01:31,240 Maybe. It's pretty good soup. 24 00:01:35,520 --> 00:01:37,280 RAYMOND: Hey, Fisk, you busy? 25 00:01:37,280 --> 00:01:39,000 Ooh, I feel like that's a trick question. 26 00:01:39,000 --> 00:01:41,240 If I say no, you'll wonder why I'm not busy. 27 00:01:41,240 --> 00:01:42,760 If I say yes, you'll think I'm rude, 28 00:01:42,760 --> 00:01:44,880 'cause I'm kind of saying, "Get out of my office, I'm busy." 29 00:01:44,880 --> 00:01:46,080 You finished? Yep. 30 00:01:46,080 --> 00:01:48,280 There's a Popovitch coming in at 11:00. I want you to take it. 31 00:01:48,280 --> 00:01:50,280 A whatavitch? Popovitch. 32 00:01:50,280 --> 00:01:51,680 Might want to hide your purse. 33 00:01:52,800 --> 00:01:55,640 Purse? I'm not an old woman. Who says 'purse'? 34 00:01:55,640 --> 00:01:57,600 Raymond, I need you to hide my purse. 35 00:01:57,600 --> 00:01:59,680 There's a Popovitch coming in. 36 00:02:03,240 --> 00:02:05,320 GEORGE: Don't really know about the social... 37 00:02:05,320 --> 00:02:07,240 One of each... Yeah. 38 00:02:07,240 --> 00:02:08,720 (DOOR OPENS) 39 00:02:11,480 --> 00:02:12,480 Hey. 40 00:02:12,480 --> 00:02:14,160 Don't look now 41 00:02:14,160 --> 00:02:16,400 but I think there's a clown in reception. 42 00:02:16,400 --> 00:02:17,800 Is it someone's birthday? 43 00:02:17,800 --> 00:02:19,000 I said don't look now. 44 00:02:19,000 --> 00:02:21,360 That's Eileen Popovitch. She's your 11 o'clock. 45 00:02:21,360 --> 00:02:24,480 Is she circus folk? Fun. 46 00:02:24,480 --> 00:02:25,960 Hi. 47 00:02:29,400 --> 00:02:31,480 Alright. Miss Popovitch, 48 00:02:31,480 --> 00:02:33,760 So, I do understand... 49 00:02:33,760 --> 00:02:35,200 Unfortunate... 50 00:02:35,200 --> 00:02:37,120 ..ly. 51 00:02:37,120 --> 00:02:38,120 I... 52 00:02:40,240 --> 00:02:45,040 Sorry, I think you accidentally dropped the spoon into your... 53 00:02:45,040 --> 00:02:46,560 ..purse. Pardon? 54 00:02:46,560 --> 00:02:48,440 Never mind. 55 00:02:48,440 --> 00:02:49,920 What I was saying, the problem is 56 00:02:49,920 --> 00:02:53,000 I can't grant you power of attorney without your mother being present. 57 00:02:53,000 --> 00:02:54,600 But she's demented. Right. 58 00:02:54,600 --> 00:02:57,000 And is that why you want this authority? 59 00:02:57,000 --> 00:02:59,280 So that you can make decisions about her health and wellbeing? 60 00:02:59,280 --> 00:03:03,080 No, no. I need to make the decisions about money. 61 00:03:03,080 --> 00:03:05,680 She can't be trusted. She's demented. 62 00:03:05,680 --> 00:03:08,520 OK. Well, whether your mother is demented or has dementia, 63 00:03:08,520 --> 00:03:11,360 which I believe is the preferred way of saying it, 64 00:03:11,360 --> 00:03:13,080 I can't do anything... 65 00:03:13,080 --> 00:03:15,200 We... I'm sorry. We need to... 66 00:03:15,200 --> 00:03:16,280 That's my... 67 00:03:16,280 --> 00:03:18,160 That's my diary. So... 68 00:03:18,160 --> 00:03:19,840 Did you want to make another appointment? 69 00:03:19,840 --> 00:03:21,560 Yes. Let's make another appointment. 70 00:03:21,560 --> 00:03:22,880 Yeah. 71 00:03:22,880 --> 00:03:24,480 And then you can give me power of attorney. 72 00:03:24,480 --> 00:03:25,560 We'll get your mother in 73 00:03:25,560 --> 00:03:28,520 and you can just help yourself to some... 74 00:03:28,520 --> 00:03:31,160 ..free stationery items to go with your free teaspoon. 75 00:03:45,920 --> 00:03:47,800 Hey. Hello, Helen. 76 00:03:47,800 --> 00:03:49,200 Hello, Roz. 77 00:03:49,200 --> 00:03:50,880 How's your morning been? Good, thanks. 78 00:03:52,200 --> 00:03:54,040 Sorry, did you want to use the microwave? 79 00:03:54,040 --> 00:03:57,120 No, no. I'm just saying hello, having a friendly chat. 80 00:03:57,120 --> 00:03:58,880 There's nothing wrong with that, is there? 81 00:03:58,880 --> 00:03:59,880 No. 82 00:04:00,200 --> 00:04:02,360 Sorry. I just thought we'd already had our chat this morning, 83 00:04:02,360 --> 00:04:04,920 remember in reception about the soup and the... 84 00:04:04,920 --> 00:04:06,520 ..weekend and stuff. 85 00:04:06,520 --> 00:04:09,280 There's no statute of limitations on friendly chitchat, Helen. 86 00:04:10,320 --> 00:04:13,080 Put a cover on that before you put it in the microwave. 87 00:04:13,080 --> 00:04:14,560 Will do. 88 00:04:26,720 --> 00:04:28,400 Good morning, fine sir. 89 00:04:28,400 --> 00:04:30,400 I am looking for one Ms Helen Tudor-Fisk. 90 00:04:30,400 --> 00:04:32,080 Nice office. 91 00:04:32,080 --> 00:04:35,400 I'm just going to pop a few of these down. 92 00:04:35,400 --> 00:04:37,360 I'm doing a festival nearby. 93 00:04:37,360 --> 00:04:39,800 You might want to come. Yeah. Have one for yourself. 94 00:04:39,800 --> 00:04:40,960 Tell your friends. 95 00:04:40,960 --> 00:04:45,200 'Cause we need ticket sales to go up as well a little bit. 96 00:04:45,200 --> 00:04:48,240 Hey, there's a guy called William in reception to see you. 97 00:04:48,240 --> 00:04:50,520 He says he knows you. Oh, not William Ford? 98 00:04:50,520 --> 00:04:51,760 He just said William. 99 00:04:51,760 --> 00:04:53,600 Handsome black guy? I don't know. 100 00:04:53,600 --> 00:04:55,680 You don't know if he's black or you don't know if he's handsome? 101 00:04:55,680 --> 00:04:57,920 Both. I don't see colour, or handsome. 102 00:04:57,920 --> 00:04:59,880 Do you see age? 103 00:04:59,880 --> 00:05:01,000 How old do you reckon he was? 104 00:05:01,000 --> 00:05:03,480 Pretty old. I reckon maybe, like, 40? 105 00:05:03,480 --> 00:05:04,960 Wow. That's so old. 106 00:05:04,960 --> 00:05:07,840 Did he seem up himself? Yes. Definitely. 107 00:05:07,840 --> 00:05:09,680 He called me "fine sir". (UNDER HER BREATH) Shit. 108 00:05:09,680 --> 00:05:13,080 Fisk, I just met your ex-husband in reception. 109 00:05:13,080 --> 00:05:14,680 He's quite the good-looking rooster. 110 00:05:14,680 --> 00:05:16,320 Mmm... 111 00:05:22,280 --> 00:05:24,840 Helen. Nah. Nah. 112 00:05:24,840 --> 00:05:26,880 Come on. Out of here. 113 00:05:26,880 --> 00:05:28,480 OK. 114 00:05:32,200 --> 00:05:33,720 A little...friendly hug? 115 00:05:33,720 --> 00:05:35,360 Why are you here? What do you want? 116 00:05:35,360 --> 00:05:37,440 Oh, God. That's my boss. Get over here. 117 00:05:37,440 --> 00:05:38,640 It's lovely to see you, too, Helen. 118 00:05:38,640 --> 00:05:40,520 I'm actually here for the literary festival. 119 00:05:40,520 --> 00:05:42,920 I have some complimentary passes. 120 00:05:42,920 --> 00:05:44,880 Oh, please. As if. No. 121 00:05:44,880 --> 00:05:45,920 Quickly, what do you need? 122 00:05:45,920 --> 00:05:48,440 I was going through a few things and I found this. 123 00:05:48,440 --> 00:05:50,920 I ordered it for your birthday last year, but, well, you know... 124 00:05:50,920 --> 00:05:52,560 Then you left me for an older woman. I remember. 125 00:05:52,560 --> 00:05:54,200 To be fair, Hels, you're an older woman. 126 00:05:54,200 --> 00:05:56,200 Oh, h... I'm not 63. 127 00:05:56,200 --> 00:05:58,440 God, you two are like Harold and Maude. 128 00:05:58,440 --> 00:06:00,560 Oh, that's showing your age. Oh, here it is. 129 00:06:02,000 --> 00:06:05,600 Oh... OK. Well, now I feel bad. 130 00:06:05,600 --> 00:06:07,560 That is really nice. It is, isn't it? 131 00:06:07,560 --> 00:06:08,560 Hey, can we get a coffee? 132 00:06:08,560 --> 00:06:10,440 There's a few things I need to talk to you about. 133 00:06:10,440 --> 00:06:12,240 No. I can't. Hels, please, can we get a coffee? 134 00:06:12,240 --> 00:06:14,520 I just want to get a coffee. I can't. I'm banned. 135 00:06:14,520 --> 00:06:15,680 Oh, of course you are. 136 00:06:15,680 --> 00:06:17,600 Did you suggest there should be a limit of three takeaways 137 00:06:17,600 --> 00:06:18,680 per customer? 138 00:06:18,680 --> 00:06:20,240 No. But that should absolutely be the rule 139 00:06:20,240 --> 00:06:21,600 especially during busy times. 140 00:06:21,600 --> 00:06:23,160 Ooh, I know, did you suggest to the barista 141 00:06:23,160 --> 00:06:25,040 that it's easier to froth and talk at the same time? 142 00:06:25,040 --> 00:06:26,880 Again, not an unreasonable suggestion, you know? 143 00:06:26,880 --> 00:06:28,480 I'm not saying you can't chat to customers, 144 00:06:28,480 --> 00:06:30,800 just keep the line moving, talk and froth, people, talk and froth. 145 00:06:30,800 --> 00:06:32,480 Oh, I know. Did you tell him that his... 146 00:06:32,480 --> 00:06:35,400 Hey. Hey. Could you just get us some takeaways? 147 00:06:35,400 --> 00:06:36,800 Yeah. OK. Thank you. 148 00:06:36,800 --> 00:06:39,320 Oh, hey, I don't... I don't have my wallet. 149 00:06:39,320 --> 00:06:41,440 There you go. Use my money. 150 00:06:43,680 --> 00:06:44,680 It's your favourite. 151 00:06:44,680 --> 00:06:46,400 I'll pay you back. Ooh, I bet. 152 00:06:53,320 --> 00:06:54,960 I think it would be a terrific way to cut through. 153 00:06:54,960 --> 00:06:58,000 People love videos on the internet. Yeah. 154 00:06:58,000 --> 00:06:59,880 I'm not sure people love probate law videos. 155 00:06:59,880 --> 00:07:01,880 Maybe if we did a cat video or...? 156 00:07:01,880 --> 00:07:03,760 Ray, I was just saying 157 00:07:03,760 --> 00:07:06,440 I think Gruber & Gruber should do a promotional video. 158 00:07:06,440 --> 00:07:07,760 Maybe with a cat in it? 159 00:07:07,760 --> 00:07:09,600 Won't be doing anything for Gruber & Gruber. 160 00:07:09,600 --> 00:07:12,120 Just found out we can't trade under that name while you're suspended. 161 00:07:12,120 --> 00:07:13,880 Can you get on to that, George? 162 00:07:13,880 --> 00:07:16,120 Knock one of those Grubers off for me, mate? 163 00:07:16,120 --> 00:07:17,520 Oh, no. You'll need a ladder. 164 00:07:17,520 --> 00:07:19,160 And you might want to start with the second one. 165 00:07:19,160 --> 00:07:22,320 Other it would be "& Gruber", which would look ridiculous. 166 00:07:24,840 --> 00:07:26,200 Yeah. I know. 167 00:07:26,200 --> 00:07:28,400 I know. I know. It's our dream. 168 00:07:33,160 --> 00:07:35,880 I want shared custody of Arthur. 169 00:07:35,880 --> 00:07:37,840 OK. It's 'Artie'. 170 00:07:37,840 --> 00:07:40,320 And how would that work? You live in Sydney. 171 00:07:40,320 --> 00:07:42,520 Well, six months on, six months off. (CHUCKLES) 172 00:07:44,280 --> 00:07:45,680 Oh, my God, you're serious? 173 00:07:45,680 --> 00:07:48,080 You just took him. We never discussed it. 174 00:07:48,080 --> 00:07:49,880 Yeah. He's my dog. 175 00:07:49,880 --> 00:07:52,480 You can't be content with just taking the house 176 00:07:52,480 --> 00:07:53,720 and my self esteem? 177 00:07:53,720 --> 00:07:57,040 You don't get it. I'm an artist, he's my muse. 178 00:07:57,040 --> 00:07:58,200 Well, he's a pretty shit muse. 179 00:07:58,200 --> 00:07:59,920 You haven't written anything for 10 years. 180 00:07:59,920 --> 00:08:00,920 Hurtful. 181 00:08:00,920 --> 00:08:01,920 Alright. 182 00:08:01,920 --> 00:08:05,120 There hasn't been another novel, but I've been doing a lot of poetry, 183 00:08:05,120 --> 00:08:06,600 there's been some journaling, 184 00:08:06,600 --> 00:08:07,920 I'm doing a lot of talks at the library. 185 00:08:07,920 --> 00:08:10,920 Wow. All inspired by my dog? Our dog. 186 00:08:10,920 --> 00:08:13,960 I bought him, remember? For me. You bought him for me. 187 00:08:13,960 --> 00:08:15,280 With my money. 188 00:08:18,920 --> 00:08:20,320 Have you still got my wallet? 189 00:08:22,520 --> 00:08:23,960 Oh... Sorry. 190 00:08:23,960 --> 00:08:25,360 I forgot. 191 00:08:26,400 --> 00:08:28,400 Can I get the receipt for... 192 00:08:28,400 --> 00:08:30,800 I can claim it. It's a business... 193 00:08:33,600 --> 00:08:35,240 Gentle. Gentle. 194 00:08:35,240 --> 00:08:36,880 Is that a butterknife? 195 00:08:36,880 --> 00:08:39,400 (CLANG!) Hello, Helen. 196 00:08:39,400 --> 00:08:41,600 Oh, hello, Roz. 197 00:08:41,600 --> 00:08:44,040 How's the weather out there? It's very good, thanks. 198 00:08:45,200 --> 00:08:48,200 And how is the weather with you? What does that mean? 199 00:08:49,040 --> 00:08:50,560 Have you chipped that? 200 00:08:50,560 --> 00:08:52,480 Only exterior. 201 00:08:54,960 --> 00:08:57,120 Yeah. But why do I have to do chitchat 202 00:08:57,120 --> 00:08:59,000 every time I pass her in the office? 203 00:08:59,000 --> 00:09:01,040 It's a tiny office. MAY: It's polite. 204 00:09:01,040 --> 00:09:02,320 It's what people do, Helen. 205 00:09:02,320 --> 00:09:04,600 Well, sorry, mate, I don't have that much chitchat. 206 00:09:04,600 --> 00:09:06,400 Yeah. Course you do. Nah. 207 00:09:06,400 --> 00:09:08,240 You could ask, how'd you sleep last night? 208 00:09:08,240 --> 00:09:10,600 Or, what's on for the weekend or... Bored. 209 00:09:10,600 --> 00:09:12,560 Have you got any suggestions, Graham? 210 00:09:12,560 --> 00:09:14,480 Did you know that many European countries 211 00:09:14,480 --> 00:09:16,720 enjoy their main meal of the day at lunchtime? 212 00:09:16,720 --> 00:09:20,120 No. No. That's not chitchat. That's a fun fact. 213 00:09:20,120 --> 00:09:21,760 I think that's more just a fact, May. 214 00:09:21,760 --> 00:09:23,400 It's got to be casual, like, 215 00:09:23,400 --> 00:09:25,600 "Ooh, I notice you're drinking Earl Grey tea, how delicious. 216 00:09:25,600 --> 00:09:27,720 "But have you tried French Earl Grey? 217 00:09:27,720 --> 00:09:29,320 "'Cause it's a little more subtle." See? 218 00:09:29,320 --> 00:09:30,520 OK. Let me try again. 219 00:09:30,520 --> 00:09:32,840 Did you know that wombat poo is square? 220 00:09:32,840 --> 00:09:35,560 No. Stop. See, you can't start with "did you know", 221 00:09:35,560 --> 00:09:37,040 because that's not chit... 222 00:09:37,040 --> 00:09:38,240 Is their poo really square? 223 00:09:38,240 --> 00:09:40,240 Guys, I'm actually quite tired. 224 00:09:40,240 --> 00:09:41,680 Do you mind if I go to bed? 225 00:09:41,680 --> 00:09:43,200 Yeah. Of course. 226 00:09:43,200 --> 00:09:45,480 Actually, you do look very tired, sweetie. You should go to bed. 227 00:09:50,040 --> 00:09:53,040 It's just...you're on my bed 'cause I'm sleeping on your sofa. 228 00:09:53,040 --> 00:09:56,200 Which is very kind of you. But it means you have to... 229 00:09:56,200 --> 00:09:59,160 ..get out of my room, and I'm sending you to bed. 230 00:09:59,160 --> 00:10:01,200 Go to bed. 231 00:10:01,200 --> 00:10:03,640 Be like toddlers. Go on. 232 00:10:07,680 --> 00:10:09,400 Ready? Go. 233 00:10:13,280 --> 00:10:15,120 Good boy. 234 00:10:23,520 --> 00:10:25,920 Come on in. Let me show you around. 235 00:10:25,920 --> 00:10:30,080 Here at Gruber & Associates, we specialise in wills and probate. 236 00:10:30,080 --> 00:10:31,760 Whether you're looking for a will 237 00:10:31,760 --> 00:10:33,200 or a Helen... Helen? 238 00:10:33,960 --> 00:10:36,280 Morning Roz. 239 00:10:36,280 --> 00:10:38,400 Did you sleep well? Get out of my shot. 240 00:10:38,400 --> 00:10:40,080 Keep moving. I'm working. 241 00:10:40,080 --> 00:10:42,520 Keep walking. Go. Go. Go. Out. 242 00:10:42,520 --> 00:10:44,360 I slept very well, thank you. 243 00:10:44,360 --> 00:10:45,960 Morning, George. Always good to chat. 244 00:10:45,960 --> 00:10:47,440 Start again. 245 00:10:47,440 --> 00:10:49,240 Here. 246 00:10:49,240 --> 00:10:52,000 Don't look at yourself, Roz, look at the barrel, down the barrel. 247 00:10:52,000 --> 00:10:53,720 Is that there or there? I think it's there. 248 00:10:58,880 --> 00:11:02,480 I've just got a couple of teas for you there. 249 00:11:02,480 --> 00:11:03,680 If you need a spoon, 250 00:11:03,680 --> 00:11:06,080 there's probably one in your bag from last time. 251 00:11:06,080 --> 00:11:09,520 And I might just take that back to reception, I think, Mrs Popovitch. 252 00:11:09,520 --> 00:11:11,280 No, no. Finders keepers. 253 00:11:11,280 --> 00:11:13,000 Yep. Yep. Well, I find it, I'm keeping it. 254 00:11:16,560 --> 00:11:18,280 OK. Hide that. 255 00:11:18,280 --> 00:11:19,880 What are these...? Who put these here? 256 00:11:19,880 --> 00:11:22,480 The old guy, the "fine sir" guy, asked if he could put them there. 257 00:11:22,480 --> 00:11:24,240 Oh, no way. That's not happening. 258 00:11:25,640 --> 00:11:26,960 (WHISPERS) Helen. Yeah. 259 00:11:26,960 --> 00:11:28,480 Can you frisk Mrs Popovitch? 260 00:11:28,480 --> 00:11:30,920 I think she's got the lucky waving cat in her pocket. 261 00:11:30,920 --> 00:11:32,840 No. I'm not going to cavity search an old woman. 262 00:11:32,840 --> 00:11:35,440 Cavity search? It's not in her prison pocket. 263 00:11:41,360 --> 00:11:42,800 Alright. 264 00:11:42,800 --> 00:11:44,400 OK... 265 00:11:45,760 --> 00:11:46,960 Finders keepers. 266 00:11:46,960 --> 00:11:50,000 Sure. Knock yourself out. You can have all those. 267 00:11:50,000 --> 00:11:51,320 Now, Mrs Popovitch, have you agreed 268 00:11:51,320 --> 00:11:53,480 to grant your daughter power of attorney? 269 00:11:53,480 --> 00:11:54,760 Yes. She has. No. I haven't. 270 00:11:54,760 --> 00:11:56,760 OK. Now, she's just said she hasn't. 271 00:11:56,760 --> 00:11:58,040 She doesn't understand. 272 00:11:58,040 --> 00:11:59,960 Let me tell her. OK. 273 00:11:59,960 --> 00:12:04,000 I'm getting power of attorney today, Mother, remember? We agreed. 274 00:12:04,000 --> 00:12:05,000 OK. 275 00:12:06,040 --> 00:12:09,040 Do you understand what power of attorney means, Mrs Popovitch? 276 00:12:09,040 --> 00:12:10,480 Yes. I do. 277 00:12:10,480 --> 00:12:13,880 She wants my money because she's addicted to the eBay. 278 00:12:15,160 --> 00:12:18,480 Do you know what eBay is? It's the devil's department store. 279 00:12:18,480 --> 00:12:20,160 Don't say that about eBay. 280 00:12:21,520 --> 00:12:22,680 I'll let... 281 00:12:22,680 --> 00:12:24,640 Oh... No. No. 282 00:12:24,640 --> 00:12:27,040 No. No. No. No. Can't have that. That's my phone. 283 00:12:27,040 --> 00:12:28,240 I like the dog. 284 00:12:28,240 --> 00:12:31,320 Well, you know what? You can have the dog. I don't care about that bit. 285 00:12:31,320 --> 00:12:32,360 There you go. 286 00:12:32,360 --> 00:12:33,920 Finders keepers. 287 00:12:33,920 --> 00:12:35,920 Is that your dog? Yeah. That's my dog. 288 00:12:35,920 --> 00:12:37,280 Best dog in the world. That's Artie. 289 00:12:37,280 --> 00:12:39,240 I used to have a dog. Aww... 290 00:12:39,240 --> 00:12:41,280 No... She didn't. OK. 291 00:12:41,280 --> 00:12:43,640 Eileen, do you have a medical certificate 292 00:12:43,640 --> 00:12:45,440 that says your mother has dementia? 293 00:12:45,440 --> 00:12:46,520 Yes. 294 00:12:46,520 --> 00:12:48,200 OK. Well, can I see that? 295 00:12:48,200 --> 00:12:49,440 No. She ate it. 296 00:12:49,440 --> 00:12:50,920 I didn't. You did, Mother. 297 00:12:50,920 --> 00:12:52,440 You just don't remember. 298 00:12:52,440 --> 00:12:55,000 OK. Let's just stop for a minute. Can I ask your mother a question? 299 00:12:55,000 --> 00:12:57,560 Do you know what day it is today, Mrs Popovitch? 300 00:12:57,560 --> 00:12:59,560 No, she doesn't. OK. I'm not asking... Just, let's... 301 00:12:59,560 --> 00:13:01,080 Let her answer. Tuesday. 302 00:13:01,080 --> 00:13:02,320 Good. OK. 303 00:13:02,320 --> 00:13:04,320 Now, was that just a lucky guess? Yes. 304 00:13:04,320 --> 00:13:05,400 OK. 305 00:13:05,400 --> 00:13:08,160 She thinks every day is Tuesday. 306 00:13:10,880 --> 00:13:13,600 Do you make many conference calls, Mrs Popovitch? 307 00:13:13,600 --> 00:13:14,600 Mm-hm. 308 00:13:14,600 --> 00:13:16,320 Alright. 309 00:13:16,320 --> 00:13:17,720 Calling lots of people? 310 00:13:17,720 --> 00:13:19,480 Pope Francis. 311 00:13:19,480 --> 00:13:21,280 Is he a good friend? 312 00:13:21,280 --> 00:13:23,760 Mmm. Yes. 313 00:13:26,640 --> 00:13:28,560 Let's have a look, Roz. 314 00:13:28,560 --> 00:13:30,360 Come on in. Let me show you around. 315 00:13:30,360 --> 00:13:33,160 Need a will? You've come to the right place. 316 00:13:33,160 --> 00:13:37,480 Here at Gruber & Associates we specialise in wills and probate. 317 00:13:37,480 --> 00:13:41,880 And this, right here, is our 'state of the heart' meeting room. 318 00:13:41,880 --> 00:13:44,080 And, yes, you heard me right. 319 00:13:44,080 --> 00:13:45,600 I said "state of the heart" 320 00:13:45,600 --> 00:13:48,440 Jesus Roz, I've got motion sickness. 321 00:13:48,440 --> 00:13:50,160 Well, I had to film it myself. 322 00:13:50,160 --> 00:13:51,640 Yeah. I'm glad you're keeping busy. 323 00:13:51,640 --> 00:13:53,440 But the problem is you can't be the face of the company. 324 00:13:53,440 --> 00:13:54,560 Fine, then you do it. 325 00:13:54,560 --> 00:13:56,080 I can't do it either. 326 00:13:56,080 --> 00:13:59,360 Our whole angle is the mature lady. It has to be a woman. 327 00:13:59,360 --> 00:14:02,080 Ask Fisk to do it. Helen can not be the face. 328 00:14:02,080 --> 00:14:03,880 Why not? She's a woman, she's got a face. 329 00:14:03,880 --> 00:14:07,040 Raymond, she always looks unhappy. She never smiles. 330 00:14:07,040 --> 00:14:11,720 No, I think it's just that thing, what's it called? 331 00:14:11,720 --> 00:14:13,560 Angry lady face. 332 00:14:13,560 --> 00:14:15,600 You mean bitchy resting face. Exactly. 333 00:14:15,600 --> 00:14:17,320 Yeah. What you're doing now. 334 00:14:17,320 --> 00:14:20,240 Your hair looks beautiful in this, by the way. 335 00:14:20,240 --> 00:14:21,240 It does. 336 00:14:22,240 --> 00:14:23,800 That's your invoice. 337 00:14:23,800 --> 00:14:26,000 Invoice. Yes. Put it in the post. 338 00:14:26,000 --> 00:14:27,640 We enjoy getting post. 339 00:14:27,640 --> 00:14:28,920 No. 340 00:14:28,920 --> 00:14:31,120 Ray said they can't leave without paying the bill. 341 00:14:31,120 --> 00:14:33,240 They're not all... Where's the other one gone? 342 00:14:33,240 --> 00:14:36,040 No. No. No. No. No. Mrs Popovitch, I'm going to take that from you. 343 00:14:36,040 --> 00:14:37,600 Just make her take it. 344 00:14:37,600 --> 00:14:38,640 Come on. 345 00:14:38,640 --> 00:14:41,000 Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. That doesn't go... 346 00:14:41,000 --> 00:14:43,720 No. Don't take the elephant. 347 00:14:43,720 --> 00:14:45,680 George, she needs to... 348 00:14:45,680 --> 00:14:47,840 She needs to pay that before she leaves. 349 00:14:47,840 --> 00:14:48,920 No. 350 00:14:48,920 --> 00:14:51,600 No! Don't take the furniture. Actually... 351 00:14:51,600 --> 00:14:52,960 OK? 352 00:14:52,960 --> 00:14:54,320 No. No. No. 353 00:14:55,600 --> 00:14:57,200 Really? I like these. 354 00:14:57,200 --> 00:14:59,720 Do you? Finders keepers. 355 00:15:00,720 --> 00:15:03,920 Do you want to give me a hand? Or are you protecting the pamphlets? 356 00:15:03,920 --> 00:15:05,920 Yeah. I had to protect this area. 357 00:15:05,920 --> 00:15:08,800 You couldn't protect me from the Darrell Lea ladies? 358 00:15:36,440 --> 00:15:38,120 I really don't want to be on camera, Roz. 359 00:15:38,120 --> 00:15:40,320 Oh, well, I don't want you to be on camera either. 360 00:15:40,320 --> 00:15:44,240 But by the time I jazz it up with some music and graphics 361 00:15:44,240 --> 00:15:45,680 we'll hardly notice you. 362 00:15:45,680 --> 00:15:47,600 So...here, try and have a read. 363 00:15:47,600 --> 00:15:49,480 Try selling it to me. 364 00:15:49,480 --> 00:15:50,960 Here we go. And... 365 00:15:50,960 --> 00:15:52,520 Action. 366 00:15:53,560 --> 00:15:55,840 At Gruber & Associates we specialise in wills and probate. 367 00:15:55,840 --> 00:15:58,160 Whether you need to make a will or you've lost a loved one... 368 00:15:58,160 --> 00:15:59,920 Alright. Let me stop you. 369 00:15:59,920 --> 00:16:02,680 What is...? I mean, you look angry or is it annoyed? 370 00:16:02,680 --> 00:16:05,360 Roz, it's just my face. It's just my face. 371 00:16:05,360 --> 00:16:07,040 Try smiling. 372 00:16:08,880 --> 00:16:10,560 Add some teeth. 373 00:16:10,560 --> 00:16:12,480 Take the teeth away. 374 00:16:12,480 --> 00:16:14,920 No, now you just look constipated. 375 00:16:14,920 --> 00:16:16,680 Well, I eat a lot of cheese, Roz. 376 00:16:16,680 --> 00:16:18,040 So... 377 00:16:19,040 --> 00:16:20,760 ..that's what happens. 378 00:16:27,120 --> 00:16:29,040 (PHONE RINGS) 379 00:16:31,160 --> 00:16:32,640 May? Graham? 380 00:16:34,000 --> 00:16:36,920 Hang on, shh, shh. I can't... 381 00:16:36,920 --> 00:16:40,520 Graham, tell May to shush, I can't hear you. What are you saying? 382 00:16:40,520 --> 00:16:43,320 When? No. How long ago? 383 00:16:43,320 --> 00:16:45,080 Jesus Christ. OK. 384 00:16:45,080 --> 00:16:46,560 Graham, are you crying? 385 00:16:46,560 --> 00:16:49,120 OK. Just calm down. Take a breath. 386 00:16:50,280 --> 00:16:51,920 Yeah. I'm leaving the office now. 387 00:16:51,920 --> 00:16:54,440 Alright? Just... Hang on. I'll call you back. 388 00:16:55,520 --> 00:16:58,480 My portrait can stay up. It doesn't say I'm partner. 389 00:16:58,480 --> 00:17:00,960 Ray, can I go, please? I have to... 390 00:17:02,240 --> 00:17:04,280 Oh, hi, Roz. How is your afternoon going? 391 00:17:04,280 --> 00:17:05,920 How's the weather outside? 392 00:17:05,920 --> 00:17:07,360 Are you drinking tea? Is that Earl Grey tea? 393 00:17:07,360 --> 00:17:08,880 Have you tried French Earl Grey tea? 394 00:17:08,880 --> 00:17:11,040 I believe it's a little more subtle and therefore delicious 395 00:17:11,040 --> 00:17:12,040 Fisk. Yeah. 396 00:17:12,040 --> 00:17:13,360 Are you having a stroke? No. 397 00:17:13,360 --> 00:17:14,960 Do you know, many European... George. 398 00:17:14,960 --> 00:17:17,040 I think she's stroking out. No, I'm not. I'm chatting. 399 00:17:17,040 --> 00:17:18,880 You're really not. What's the problem? 400 00:17:18,880 --> 00:17:21,160 Can I please leave early? I have a family emergency. 401 00:17:21,160 --> 00:17:23,720 Yes. Go. Please. Thank you. Thank you. 402 00:17:26,520 --> 00:17:28,160 Do you have any plans for this evening, Roz? 403 00:17:28,160 --> 00:17:29,520 Go. Yep. 404 00:17:34,160 --> 00:17:36,920 To the left. Drop it. 405 00:17:41,800 --> 00:17:43,080 May, it's me. What's happening? 406 00:17:43,080 --> 00:17:44,760 I couldn't understand a word Graham said. 407 00:17:44,760 --> 00:17:45,800 I'm so sorry, Helen. 408 00:17:45,800 --> 00:17:48,160 He said he was only going to a half an hour. 409 00:17:48,160 --> 00:17:50,280 Oh, my God, have you got me on speaker? One of you speak at a time. 410 00:17:50,280 --> 00:17:51,280 May, you talk. 411 00:17:51,280 --> 00:17:53,280 He said he was only going to be in town for a couple of days 412 00:17:53,280 --> 00:17:55,120 and he wanted to take Artie for a walk. 413 00:17:55,120 --> 00:17:56,920 It was William. She knows it was William. 414 00:17:56,920 --> 00:17:59,720 He was wearing a checked shirt. No. I would have said plaid. 415 00:17:59,720 --> 00:18:02,000 He looked very handsome. I don't care what he was wearing. 416 00:18:02,000 --> 00:18:04,640 Just, what time was it? When did he take him? 417 00:18:04,640 --> 00:18:06,720 Oh, about three hours ago. Four hours ago. 418 00:18:06,720 --> 00:18:08,720 OK. It's fine. It's fine. I know where he's going to be. 419 00:18:08,720 --> 00:18:10,960 No. I think it was more like three, Helen. 420 00:18:10,960 --> 00:18:12,600 Helen? 421 00:18:12,600 --> 00:18:14,800 Oh, I think she's dropped out. You'll have to call her back. 422 00:18:44,320 --> 00:18:45,560 Here we go. 423 00:18:47,480 --> 00:18:51,600 Now, Akiko, your poetry has been made into a film, 424 00:18:51,600 --> 00:18:54,160 can you speak to that experience? 425 00:18:54,160 --> 00:19:00,040 The film was a dialogue between a mother and her unborn child. 426 00:19:00,040 --> 00:19:02,080 WOMAN: Helen. Helen. Helen. 427 00:19:02,080 --> 00:19:03,520 Helen. 428 00:19:03,520 --> 00:19:05,760 My poems were used Helen. 429 00:19:05,760 --> 00:19:07,400 as the thoughts of the foetus. 430 00:19:07,400 --> 00:19:08,960 What a beautiful idea. Helen. 431 00:19:08,960 --> 00:19:11,240 Go on. Helen. 432 00:19:11,240 --> 00:19:12,760 Sorry, I... Helen. 433 00:19:12,760 --> 00:19:15,040 Yes? We got in for free. 434 00:19:15,040 --> 00:19:16,040 Did you? Good. 435 00:19:16,040 --> 00:19:17,600 No. I lost my train of thought. 436 00:19:18,800 --> 00:19:21,680 Take a moment while I turn to William. 437 00:19:21,680 --> 00:19:24,960 William, your book has won a lot of awards. 438 00:19:24,960 --> 00:19:27,000 Was it 14 in total? 439 00:19:27,000 --> 00:19:30,760 It was actually 15, Lindy, if you include the FUBA, 440 00:19:30,760 --> 00:19:33,080 - the Favourite Ukrainian Book Award. 441 00:19:33,080 --> 00:19:36,000 (AFFECTS ACCENT) Apparently I'm very popular in the Ukraine. 442 00:19:36,000 --> 00:19:38,240 (LAUGHTER) 443 00:19:39,680 --> 00:19:41,560 (MOCK LAUGHS) 444 00:19:41,560 --> 00:19:44,360 I think we've just found the promo for our podcast. 445 00:19:44,360 --> 00:19:46,560 (LAUGHTER) 446 00:19:46,560 --> 00:19:49,040 I'm sorry, Madam, we'll do questions at the end. 447 00:19:49,040 --> 00:19:52,560 William, could you talk about the, uh, the process? 448 00:19:52,560 --> 00:19:55,240 Madam, could you please put your hand down? 449 00:19:55,240 --> 00:19:57,000 Where's my dog? 450 00:19:57,000 --> 00:19:58,880 Quite the existential question. 451 00:19:58,880 --> 00:20:01,960 But as I am this session's interlocutor, 452 00:20:01,960 --> 00:20:04,800 what I would like to know is... William. Where's my dog? 453 00:20:04,800 --> 00:20:06,640 AUDIENCE MEMBER: Shh. You shoosh. 454 00:20:06,640 --> 00:20:09,160 Valerie, have we called security? 455 00:20:09,160 --> 00:20:11,400 He's my dog. Where is he? I want him back. 456 00:20:11,400 --> 00:20:13,120 It's still Tuesday, Helen. 457 00:20:13,120 --> 00:20:15,000 I know. Well done, Mrs Popovitch, it is Tuesday. 458 00:20:15,000 --> 00:20:16,560 Madam. Yeah. Alright. 459 00:20:16,560 --> 00:20:18,040 Valerie, is it? 460 00:20:18,040 --> 00:20:20,120 I might take this opportunity to... I want my dog back. 461 00:20:20,120 --> 00:20:21,680 ..continue the conversation. 462 00:20:21,680 --> 00:20:23,600 Yeah. Alright. Well, you go first. 463 00:20:23,600 --> 00:20:28,840 Perhaps to help us reset, I might ask Akiko if you would 464 00:20:28,840 --> 00:20:32,480 improvise one of your famous haikus for us? 465 00:20:32,480 --> 00:20:33,720 He's a dog thief. 466 00:20:33,720 --> 00:20:36,360 Why don't you put that in your podcast? Arsehole. 467 00:20:36,360 --> 00:20:38,360 Not you, Lindy. 468 00:20:38,360 --> 00:20:39,800 Not you, Akiko. 469 00:20:39,800 --> 00:20:41,080 Just you. 470 00:20:41,080 --> 00:20:43,000 I'm going, Valerie. God. 471 00:20:43,000 --> 00:20:44,480 Ready. 472 00:20:44,480 --> 00:20:46,520 AUDIENCE MEMBER: Shoosh. Oh, shoosh off. 473 00:20:46,520 --> 00:20:48,320 Oh, we are in for a real treat, everyone. 474 00:20:48,320 --> 00:20:50,600 Disruption 475 00:20:50,600 --> 00:20:53,480 Thunder-faced woman 476 00:20:53,480 --> 00:20:57,720 Shouting, crazy, "Where's my dog?" 477 00:20:57,720 --> 00:21:00,680 Lady, please. Get out. 478 00:21:00,680 --> 00:21:02,360 Fine. (APPLAUSE) 479 00:21:03,520 --> 00:21:05,320 So accurate. 480 00:21:21,640 --> 00:21:24,400 Artie. Artie. 481 00:21:24,400 --> 00:21:26,280 It's my dog. 482 00:21:46,520 --> 00:21:48,000 Did you want the milk? 483 00:21:48,000 --> 00:21:49,120 No. Thanks. No. 484 00:21:57,040 --> 00:21:59,400 Would you like some honey, sweetie? No. I'm fine. 485 00:21:59,400 --> 00:22:02,120 Oh, I'm so sorry about Artie, Helen. 486 00:22:02,120 --> 00:22:03,480 It's not your fault. It's not your fault. 487 00:22:03,480 --> 00:22:06,760 He had a good life. He's not dead, Graham. 488 00:22:19,640 --> 00:22:21,680 GEORGE: Hey, Helen. Hey, webmaster. 489 00:22:21,680 --> 00:22:23,800 Roz asked me to film that video with you today. 490 00:22:23,800 --> 00:22:25,440 Yeah. Fine. Whatever. 491 00:22:25,440 --> 00:22:26,960 Just come and get me when you're ready. 492 00:22:33,160 --> 00:22:35,760 (ON VIDEO) Losing a loved one is always difficult. 493 00:22:35,760 --> 00:22:37,720 They can be stolen away without warning. 494 00:22:37,720 --> 00:22:39,040 And when that happens 495 00:22:39,040 --> 00:22:42,640 it can be hard to find the energy to do anything but be sad. 496 00:22:42,640 --> 00:22:46,000 And that's where Gruber & Associates can help. 497 00:22:46,000 --> 00:22:50,560 We take care of business, so you can take time to grieve. 498 00:22:50,560 --> 00:22:53,040 Now, imagine when I put some music on that. 499 00:22:53,040 --> 00:22:55,520 Something in a minor key. Play it again, George. 500 00:22:55,520 --> 00:22:59,360 Hello, I'm Helen Tudor-Fisk. (HUMS IN THE BACKGROUND) 501 00:22:59,360 --> 00:23:05,120 Here at Gruber & Associates, we specialise in wills and probate. 502 00:23:05,120 --> 00:23:07,840 Is it going to be music or annoying humming? 503 00:23:07,840 --> 00:23:09,080 And what about the cat? 504 00:23:09,080 --> 00:23:11,600 I thought you said there was going to be a cat. 505 00:23:17,040 --> 00:23:19,760 Hey, Helen, Popovitch alert. Popovitch alert. Come quickly. 506 00:23:19,760 --> 00:23:21,240 I can't leave the station. 507 00:23:22,680 --> 00:23:24,000 Oh, my favourite. 508 00:23:24,000 --> 00:23:25,200 Finders keepers. 509 00:23:25,200 --> 00:23:28,600 Oh, Mrs Popovitch. I'm going to take that. Thank you. 510 00:23:28,600 --> 00:23:29,720 Hello. Hello, Helen. 511 00:23:29,720 --> 00:23:31,360 It's Wednesday. I know. 512 00:23:31,360 --> 00:23:32,680 I found something for you. 513 00:23:32,680 --> 00:23:35,480 OK. She's got a strong grip. 514 00:23:35,480 --> 00:23:36,840 Are we taking the cactus? Yes. 515 00:23:36,840 --> 00:23:38,160 OK. We're taking the cactus. 516 00:23:44,120 --> 00:23:45,200 What? (GASPS) 517 00:23:45,200 --> 00:23:46,600 It's Artie. 518 00:23:48,000 --> 00:23:50,280 And a lovely stool. 519 00:23:50,280 --> 00:23:52,920 I found them at the festival. 520 00:23:52,920 --> 00:23:54,960 Hey, Artie. 521 00:23:54,960 --> 00:23:56,800 Finders keepers. Finders keepers. 522 00:23:59,520 --> 00:24:01,080 Finders keepers. 523 00:24:03,360 --> 00:24:04,920 Hello. 524 00:24:05,760 --> 00:24:07,360 How are you? 525 00:24:32,760 --> 00:24:34,800 (SENTIMENTAL MUSIC PLAYS) 526 00:24:41,400 --> 00:24:43,800 Hello. I'm Helen Tudor-Fisk. 527 00:24:43,800 --> 00:24:48,840 And here at Gruber & Associates we specialise in wills and probate. 528 00:24:48,840 --> 00:24:52,320 Losing a loved one is always difficult. 529 00:24:52,320 --> 00:24:55,280 They can be stolen away without warning. 530 00:24:55,280 --> 00:24:57,120 And when that happens, 531 00:24:57,120 --> 00:25:02,160 it can be hard to find the energy to do anything but be sad. 532 00:25:02,160 --> 00:25:05,160 And that's where Gruber & Associates can help. 533 00:25:05,160 --> 00:25:07,720 (UPLIFTING PIANO MUSIC) 534 00:25:14,760 --> 00:25:16,800 We take care of business 535 00:25:16,800 --> 00:25:19,280 so you can take time to grieve. 536 00:25:20,840 --> 00:25:22,840 (SENTIMENTAL MUSIC CONTINUES) 537 00:25:25,720 --> 00:25:27,160 Miaow. 538 00:25:33,880 --> 00:25:35,640 Captions by Red Bee Media 539 00:25:35,640 --> 00:25:37,640 Copyright Australian Broadcasting Corporation 37351

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