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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:01:09,600 --> 00:01:12,271 - Sure you don't wanna go to my room? - No. Why? 2 00:01:12,354 --> 00:01:15,023 My roommate's already moved out. We'll be all alone. 3 00:01:15,107 --> 00:01:16,691 - all right. - The door is locked. 4 00:01:16,775 --> 00:01:18,653 - Okay, Jim, relax. Relax. - Okay, yeah, sure. 5 00:01:18,736 --> 00:01:21,863 No strings attached, okay? lt's just friendly goodbye sex. 6 00:01:21,946 --> 00:01:24,450 Yeah, right. Right, right, right, right. 7 00:01:25,535 --> 00:01:28,078 But you see, it's just that... 8 00:01:28,161 --> 00:01:31,082 we've never even had friendly hello sex. 9 00:01:31,165 --> 00:01:34,794 - So do you not wanna do this? - Oh, no, no, no. 10 00:01:34,920 --> 00:01:38,467 Oh, I do. Yeah. No, I definitely do. 11 00:01:39,256 --> 00:01:41,133 It's just that... 12 00:01:41,218 --> 00:01:43,554 you see, this is actually my first time. 13 00:01:43,637 --> 00:01:46,723 Well, not my first. It's my first time... 14 00:01:46,807 --> 00:01:49,353 since my first time. 15 00:01:50,437 --> 00:01:52,605 So, technically, that's my second time. 16 00:01:52,689 --> 00:01:55,859 And I don't... I don't wanna suck at it. 17 00:01:55,943 --> 00:01:58,361 So if I'm not up to par, performance-wise... 18 00:01:58,987 --> 00:02:02,116 Jim, this isn't exactly a turn-on. 19 00:02:02,198 --> 00:02:04,910 I mean, girls like a guy with confidence. 20 00:02:06,329 --> 00:02:07,622 Hey, I'm confident. 21 00:02:07,705 --> 00:02:11,877 Oh, I am... I'm absolutely, totally confident. 22 00:02:13,337 --> 00:02:15,130 - Let's get naked. - Okay. 23 00:02:18,132 --> 00:02:21,762 Seems like just yesterday my dad picked me up after my first year at college. 24 00:02:22,931 --> 00:02:24,974 We popped a couple of beers... 25 00:02:25,058 --> 00:02:27,393 and he said, ''Now, you're a man.'' 26 00:02:27,476 --> 00:02:29,813 And today I get to say the same thing to my son. 27 00:02:29,896 --> 00:02:31,982 Honey, your speeches embarrass him. 28 00:02:32,066 --> 00:02:35,237 So, try and do what the kids say, and just be cool. 29 00:02:35,320 --> 00:02:38,947 I think I bring new meaning to the word ''cool,'' honey. 30 00:02:39,030 --> 00:02:40,699 That's his dormitory up ahead. 31 00:02:56,552 --> 00:02:58,135 Turn over. 32 00:03:05,727 --> 00:03:08,064 - Can't bring alcohol in the dorms. - Good. 33 00:03:08,147 --> 00:03:12,276 Thank you, Matt. I'm just here to surprise my son Jim. 34 00:03:12,359 --> 00:03:14,487 - Now pin my leg up. - What? 35 00:03:14,570 --> 00:03:17,072 Pin my leg up, like this. 36 00:03:20,451 --> 00:03:22,913 Maybe you can help me out, you know. 37 00:03:26,875 --> 00:03:28,461 Is that the one? No. 38 00:03:28,544 --> 00:03:29,461 There! 39 00:03:33,592 --> 00:03:34,927 Now I remember. 40 00:03:37,135 --> 00:03:39,471 I didn't do this for you. 41 00:03:39,555 --> 00:03:41,141 Thanks, dude. 42 00:03:42,684 --> 00:03:45,312 - Where's my big guy? - Oh, my God! 43 00:03:50,108 --> 00:03:52,696 - Jesus! - Jim, we got here a little early. 44 00:03:52,779 --> 00:03:54,948 - Dad, get out! - I'll wait in the car. 45 00:03:55,033 --> 00:03:56,533 Go, Dad! Oh, my... 46 00:03:58,201 --> 00:03:59,660 - Jeez! - Was that your dad? 47 00:03:59,953 --> 00:04:02,163 - I'm so sorry. - For your own edification... 48 00:04:02,247 --> 00:04:03,623 son, I'm not embarrassed. 49 00:04:03,706 --> 00:04:04,750 I am! 50 00:04:04,834 --> 00:04:08,880 It's a perfectly normal thing for two human beings to do. 51 00:04:08,963 --> 00:04:11,048 This is human nature... human nature at its best. 52 00:04:11,131 --> 00:04:15,344 Son, everybody does it. Your mother and I... Well, not so much any more. 53 00:04:15,427 --> 00:04:17,806 Got your favourite. Oh, my God! They're fucking! 54 00:04:17,889 --> 00:04:21,101 Honey, honey, listen. I'm gonna take her... 55 00:04:21,185 --> 00:04:23,895 - Please just go! - Actually, if you wouldn't mind. 56 00:04:23,979 --> 00:04:26,399 Honey... I'll take her to the car. 57 00:04:28,484 --> 00:04:30,195 - Hi, Mama. - What? 58 00:04:30,278 --> 00:04:31,530 Natalie! 59 00:04:31,614 --> 00:04:33,032 I'm Jim's dad. 60 00:04:33,116 --> 00:04:34,698 You must be the parents of this young lady. 61 00:04:35,198 --> 00:04:38,036 I'm sorry I didn't get her name, but hopefully my son did... 62 00:04:38,454 --> 00:04:40,039 because I have not been here the whole time. 63 00:04:40,123 --> 00:04:42,333 Natalie, get dressed! 64 00:04:42,416 --> 00:04:45,087 - Beer? - Avert your eyes! Turn around! 65 00:04:45,170 --> 00:04:47,254 - Thanks, Jim. Don't believe in locks? - Oh, my God! 66 00:05:07,694 --> 00:05:08,987 Hey, fuckface. 67 00:05:09,070 --> 00:05:12,948 - Mornin', dude. - Come on, Ozzy. It's show time. 68 00:05:15,869 --> 00:05:18,331 Before you go to Ann Arbor to pick up Heather... 69 00:05:18,415 --> 00:05:20,375 I wanna show you what you're missing. 70 00:05:22,126 --> 00:05:24,838 See what they are today, dude. See what they are today. 71 00:05:24,921 --> 00:05:27,174 Okay, here we go. Moment of truth. 72 00:05:31,304 --> 00:05:33,972 - There's little hearts on her panties! - Super. 73 00:05:34,055 --> 00:05:36,892 There's little hearts on her panties! Come on, look, you pussy. Look. 74 00:05:36,976 --> 00:05:39,394 What the fuck, man? Come on! 75 00:05:39,479 --> 00:05:40,981 I'm disappointed in you. 76 00:05:41,064 --> 00:05:43,985 Here it is, the end of our freshman year and you screwed one girl. 77 00:05:44,068 --> 00:05:46,152 One. 78 00:05:46,235 --> 00:05:48,154 You're a disgrace to men everywhere. 79 00:05:48,238 --> 00:05:51,243 Look at the Stifmeister. I got laid 23 times this year... 80 00:05:51,326 --> 00:05:54,703 and I'm not counting the hummer I got in the library stacks, baby. 81 00:05:54,787 --> 00:05:57,498 All right, here's a new idea for you, Stifler, okay? 82 00:05:57,582 --> 00:05:59,750 You find a girl. You two become best friends. 83 00:05:59,833 --> 00:06:02,713 You don't bother counting how many times you have sex with each other. 84 00:06:02,796 --> 00:06:06,425 - You laugh at the people who do count. - Here's a new idea for you. 85 00:06:06,509 --> 00:06:08,928 I'll get you a spoon so you can eat my ass. 86 00:06:13,390 --> 00:06:16,102 I'm never even gonna think about political science again. 87 00:06:16,185 --> 00:06:18,187 Hey. How'd you do? 88 00:06:18,271 --> 00:06:20,398 - Fine. - Yeah? 89 00:06:20,481 --> 00:06:24,195 Can't believe I'm going abroad for summer. Last thing I need is more classes. 90 00:06:24,278 --> 00:06:27,198 - You're gonna have a great time. - Hello, summer! 91 00:06:28,450 --> 00:06:31,201 - Did that exam blow or what? - Yeah, it sucked. 92 00:06:32,285 --> 00:06:34,163 - Kev, what's up, man? How are you? - Good. 93 00:06:34,246 --> 00:06:36,416 Put your party hat on. 94 00:06:36,500 --> 00:06:38,960 - We got 12 weeks of immortality ahead. - Yes, sir! 95 00:06:47,846 --> 00:06:49,389 Weird. 96 00:07:05,906 --> 00:07:08,743 The one that got away, huh, son? 97 00:07:15,918 --> 00:07:17,918 Well, evidently you two... 98 00:07:18,003 --> 00:07:20,589 made quite the handsome couple on the Internet. 99 00:07:23,592 --> 00:07:25,094 I didn't see it. 100 00:07:25,177 --> 00:07:28,683 It was brought up at a PTA meeting. 101 00:07:28,766 --> 00:07:31,642 Anyway, my point is... 102 00:07:31,725 --> 00:07:34,562 these little sexual debacles should not get you down... 103 00:07:34,646 --> 00:07:36,314 because you know what? 104 00:07:36,398 --> 00:07:38,150 It happens to the best of us. 105 00:07:38,234 --> 00:07:40,486 In fact... 106 00:07:40,570 --> 00:07:43,531 the first time your mother and I... 107 00:07:43,614 --> 00:07:45,283 got together... 108 00:07:45,366 --> 00:07:46,618 I used a condom. 109 00:07:46,702 --> 00:07:50,622 Well, she referred to it as ''shrink wrapping.'' 110 00:07:53,124 --> 00:07:54,918 But I got over it. 111 00:07:55,002 --> 00:07:57,212 Anyway, keep your chin up. You keep plugging... 112 00:07:57,295 --> 00:07:59,840 and good things will happen. 113 00:07:59,925 --> 00:08:02,469 Good to have you home, son. 114 00:08:06,348 --> 00:08:08,933 It's good to be home, Dad. 115 00:08:09,600 --> 00:08:11,854 It's gonna be nice to hit Stifler's tonight after exams. 116 00:08:11,937 --> 00:08:15,190 - Did you get through 'em? - There's the mystery man! 117 00:08:15,274 --> 00:08:16,942 Finch, how are you? 118 00:08:23,742 --> 00:08:25,160 It's Japanese. 119 00:08:25,244 --> 00:08:28,495 It means ''hello.'' Hello. 120 00:08:28,578 --> 00:08:33,127 - Finch, what happened to Latin? - Met a Japanese girl at the art museum. 121 00:08:33,210 --> 00:08:35,254 Changed majors. 122 00:08:35,337 --> 00:08:37,507 Wanted to understand the things she was moaning. 123 00:08:37,591 --> 00:08:40,427 - You got laid in an art museum? - The Met. 124 00:08:40,510 --> 00:08:43,972 - And the Guggenheim with Francesca. - The Guggenheim? 125 00:08:44,056 --> 00:08:47,099 And then my social-psych professor in Baskin-Robbins. 126 00:08:47,183 --> 00:08:48,685 All right, enough. 127 00:08:48,768 --> 00:08:52,690 But I'll tell you, none of these women even compare to... 128 00:08:52,773 --> 00:08:54,274 Stifler's mom. 129 00:08:55,693 --> 00:08:57,862 Stifler's mom is a goddess. 130 00:09:02,825 --> 00:09:05,746 How about some more of Stifmeister's collegiate concoction? 131 00:09:05,829 --> 00:09:09,583 This thing is like half alcohol. You're just trying to get me drunk. 132 00:09:10,543 --> 00:09:13,087 Mary, would I do that? 133 00:09:13,170 --> 00:09:17,717 - My name's Christy. - Christy, right. Beautiful name. 134 00:09:17,801 --> 00:09:19,261 Like it matters. 135 00:09:19,345 --> 00:09:21,304 Hey, how you doing? 136 00:09:21,388 --> 00:09:23,558 Howdy-howdy, fuckin' partners! 137 00:09:23,641 --> 00:09:26,100 Johnny C., how's it going? Good to see you. 138 00:09:27,185 --> 00:09:29,313 Looks like someone gained the freshman 15. 139 00:09:29,396 --> 00:09:31,399 - This'll help. - You're an asshole. 140 00:09:31,482 --> 00:09:32,733 Missed you too. 141 00:09:32,816 --> 00:09:36,697 All right, everybody having a good time? Ladies? 142 00:09:37,823 --> 00:09:40,158 Fellas! How's it going? 143 00:09:40,241 --> 00:09:42,786 The keg's back there as always. Enjoy. 144 00:09:42,871 --> 00:09:48,125 Ladies, I'm Steve Stifler and I have an 11 -inch penis... 145 00:09:48,209 --> 00:09:50,336 around! 146 00:09:50,419 --> 00:09:53,672 Think about it. Sherman! 147 00:09:53,756 --> 00:09:56,843 Okay, Stifler, take your shot. Ha, ha. 148 00:09:56,928 --> 00:09:59,931 Come on, man. I'm really happy to see you. 149 00:10:01,139 --> 00:10:02,516 All right. 150 00:10:02,599 --> 00:10:04,436 You stupid fuck! 151 00:10:06,227 --> 00:10:09,044 Back at Stifler's. It's just like old times. 152 00:10:09,128 --> 00:10:12,131 One difference. We're college men now. 153 00:10:12,214 --> 00:10:14,633 Some of these girls are from the grade below us. 154 00:10:14,717 --> 00:10:16,886 I might actually have a chance. 155 00:10:17,846 --> 00:10:19,848 Hey, I remember you. 156 00:10:22,268 --> 00:10:23,728 Do you now? 157 00:10:23,812 --> 00:10:26,396 You're that guy who blew his load on the Internet. 158 00:10:28,231 --> 00:10:31,151 Splat. ''Oh, wait, Nadia, don't go.'' Splat. 159 00:10:32,987 --> 00:10:34,698 - Pathetic. - Loser. 160 00:10:35,324 --> 00:10:37,367 It's exactly like old times. 161 00:10:40,161 --> 00:10:42,832 - I'm gonna miss you. - I'll miss you. 162 00:10:44,832 --> 00:10:46,919 I'll call you when I get in, okay? 163 00:10:47,003 --> 00:10:48,337 Go have fun. 164 00:10:49,422 --> 00:10:50,840 Bye. 165 00:11:03,645 --> 00:11:05,522 I can't believe those two girls, Kevin. 166 00:11:05,606 --> 00:11:07,525 Jim, it's not a big deal. 167 00:11:07,608 --> 00:11:10,028 They toyed with my emotions. 168 00:11:11,194 --> 00:11:13,281 - Hello. Hello. - See? There's other girls. 169 00:11:13,364 --> 00:11:17,244 - How are you? - You got nothing to worry about, man. 170 00:11:17,327 --> 00:11:19,329 Jessica's here. 171 00:11:20,540 --> 00:11:21,917 With Vicky. 172 00:11:22,585 --> 00:11:26,879 And Vicky got hot! 173 00:11:26,962 --> 00:11:29,549 What's that supposed to mean? 174 00:11:29,632 --> 00:11:30,884 Look at her. 175 00:11:30,967 --> 00:11:34,554 - Yeah, Jim, I see her. - Hey, Kevin. 176 00:11:35,597 --> 00:11:37,474 I'll be right back. 177 00:11:40,187 --> 00:11:42,813 - Hey, Vic, how are you? - What's up? 178 00:11:42,896 --> 00:11:44,857 - I'm okay. - Yeah, I'm good. 179 00:11:44,941 --> 00:11:45,984 That's good. 180 00:11:46,067 --> 00:11:48,278 - It's good to hear. - Yeah, you too. 181 00:11:49,570 --> 00:11:51,155 Wow. 182 00:11:51,239 --> 00:11:54,035 Well, this is about as comfortable as a high colonic in Tijuana. 183 00:11:54,118 --> 00:11:57,163 And I would know. Okay. 184 00:11:57,247 --> 00:12:00,166 - I'm gonna get a drink. - She's right. 185 00:12:00,250 --> 00:12:03,669 - Why is this so weird? - Actually, I have no idea. 186 00:12:03,752 --> 00:12:07,173 See, I knew it. I knew you'd be mature about this. 187 00:12:07,257 --> 00:12:09,426 You know, and we could still be friends, right? 188 00:12:10,510 --> 00:12:12,429 I miss you, Kev. 189 00:12:15,891 --> 00:12:17,018 Whoa. 190 00:12:18,603 --> 00:12:21,190 Friends, right? 191 00:12:21,271 --> 00:12:25,819 Yeah, right. I mean, I know you said friends and I... I just... 192 00:12:26,695 --> 00:12:29,280 I'm sorry. I was... It was just... 193 00:12:29,364 --> 00:12:32,201 an old habit... a friend kiss. 194 00:12:32,284 --> 00:12:33,744 Are you sure? 195 00:12:33,828 --> 00:12:36,538 Vic, why wouldn't I wanna be friends with you? 196 00:12:36,622 --> 00:12:40,044 Look, we'll... we'll just do this, okay? 197 00:12:41,294 --> 00:12:43,004 - Friends. - Friends. 198 00:12:51,117 --> 00:12:53,371 Stifler's mom's room. 199 00:13:08,552 --> 00:13:11,181 How did you do that magic you did? 200 00:13:29,702 --> 00:13:31,287 Tantra. 201 00:13:36,208 --> 00:13:38,379 What the fuck are you doin' in here? 202 00:13:39,005 --> 00:13:41,214 - Just relax. - You get out of my house! 203 00:13:41,297 --> 00:13:43,799 - Jesus Christ! - Come back here, you little fucker! 204 00:13:43,882 --> 00:13:46,052 Come back here, you son of a bitch! 205 00:13:47,137 --> 00:13:49,473 Easy! That's enough. 206 00:13:49,556 --> 00:13:52,268 Okay, guys, we went through this last summer, all right? 207 00:13:52,351 --> 00:13:54,646 Finch got a black eye and Stifler got six stitches. 208 00:13:54,728 --> 00:13:56,105 'Cause he fuckin' bit me! 209 00:13:56,188 --> 00:13:57,649 You touch me, I bite. 210 00:13:57,733 --> 00:14:01,027 - You two relax and shake hands. - Shake this. 211 00:14:05,032 --> 00:14:06,449 I need a drink. 212 00:14:06,532 --> 00:14:09,495 Why is everybody taking a piss right now? 213 00:14:09,578 --> 00:14:13,207 - Line's too long. I ain't gonna make it. - You'll be okay. Relax. 214 00:14:13,291 --> 00:14:16,837 Hey, bro. Hey, man, you're the guy who boned Stifler's mom. 215 00:14:16,921 --> 00:14:19,880 - Hey, you are a god. - Holy shit, dude. 216 00:14:19,963 --> 00:14:23,802 If I didn't have to hold my dick 'cause I gotta piss, I would shake your hand. 217 00:14:23,885 --> 00:14:26,346 - I'm honoured, guys. - Don't leave. 218 00:14:26,429 --> 00:14:29,183 You must teach me. How? 219 00:14:29,267 --> 00:14:30,142 How? 220 00:14:31,935 --> 00:14:34,063 Look what I found, Christy. 221 00:14:35,148 --> 00:14:36,817 What a coincidence. 222 00:14:40,779 --> 00:14:43,908 I've been saving this for a special occasion... 223 00:14:43,990 --> 00:14:47,285 for a special girl, just like you. 224 00:14:48,246 --> 00:14:50,790 - You're so sweet. - That's what they say. 225 00:14:50,873 --> 00:14:52,292 Weird. 226 00:14:53,376 --> 00:14:55,671 - Oh, my God. - I spilled some on you. 227 00:14:55,754 --> 00:14:58,005 - Maybe I should mop that up. - Thanks. 228 00:14:58,088 --> 00:14:59,382 No problem. 229 00:14:59,466 --> 00:15:01,135 Whoa! Whoa, hey. 230 00:15:01,218 --> 00:15:04,388 - Take it slow. Come on. - Right. 231 00:15:04,471 --> 00:15:07,808 You know, they warn us about these situations in college. 232 00:15:08,602 --> 00:15:12,898 Now, you may be intoxicated. 233 00:15:12,981 --> 00:15:14,942 Oh, yeah. 234 00:15:15,026 --> 00:15:17,777 Are you certain that you wish to engage in consenting... 235 00:15:17,860 --> 00:15:20,405 Hey, don't count your chickens, buster. 236 00:15:20,489 --> 00:15:24,701 - I'm just playing by the rules, baby. - I make the rules. 237 00:15:24,786 --> 00:15:27,038 That's a pretty good fucking rule. 238 00:15:31,835 --> 00:15:34,589 Dude, the line's too long. I'll never make it. 239 00:15:34,672 --> 00:15:36,589 It's gotta happen now. Get my back. 240 00:15:44,098 --> 00:15:46,017 - Clamp it off. - Hello. 241 00:15:47,435 --> 00:15:49,771 - How are you? - Awesome. 242 00:15:50,981 --> 00:15:52,900 - How are you? - I'm really good. 243 00:15:52,983 --> 00:15:56,445 How 'bout I give you a little champagne? 244 00:15:56,528 --> 00:15:58,405 Go downstairs and get us some beers? 245 00:15:58,656 --> 00:16:01,827 I've got a surprise for you. Close your eyes and get ready. 246 00:16:01,909 --> 00:16:03,535 I'm ready. 247 00:16:05,705 --> 00:16:08,209 - You want a beer? - Yeah, all right. 248 00:16:12,588 --> 00:16:14,048 Okay, go. 249 00:16:17,217 --> 00:16:19,887 This is kind of kinky, and I like that. 250 00:16:25,477 --> 00:16:28,271 That's it. Bathe the Stifmeister. 251 00:16:31,901 --> 00:16:33,653 Oh, that's great! 252 00:16:33,737 --> 00:16:35,904 That's great. 253 00:16:35,987 --> 00:16:38,032 How did you get it so nice and warm? 254 00:16:42,078 --> 00:16:44,164 I can taste the bubbles. 255 00:16:47,334 --> 00:16:48,586 Actually, I can't. 256 00:16:54,048 --> 00:16:55,759 Much better. 257 00:16:58,763 --> 00:17:00,015 Wait a second. 258 00:17:00,099 --> 00:17:02,892 - Let's go. - Thanks, man. 259 00:17:05,103 --> 00:17:06,771 Christy? 260 00:17:08,983 --> 00:17:10,986 Oh, fuck! 261 00:17:13,051 --> 00:17:14,717 Okay, now... 262 00:17:14,800 --> 00:17:17,262 do these high school kids think we're cool... 263 00:17:17,345 --> 00:17:19,390 because they're at a college party... 264 00:17:19,473 --> 00:17:22,643 or are we those weird older guys... 265 00:17:22,727 --> 00:17:25,272 that try to hang out with high school kids when we come home? 266 00:17:25,355 --> 00:17:28,525 No way. We're definitely not those guys. 267 00:17:28,608 --> 00:17:29,985 Cops! Cops! 268 00:17:31,446 --> 00:17:33,155 Break it up. Party's over. 269 00:17:33,947 --> 00:17:35,283 Let's go. 270 00:17:35,366 --> 00:17:37,576 Ostreicher, Myers. 271 00:17:37,660 --> 00:17:39,328 Welcome back. 272 00:17:39,411 --> 00:17:41,622 Where's Steve Stifler? 273 00:17:47,796 --> 00:17:49,757 I got peed on. 274 00:17:51,175 --> 00:17:54,052 No, man, Stifler's got shut down. 275 00:17:54,135 --> 00:17:56,973 We can't party anywhere any more. 276 00:17:57,056 --> 00:17:59,518 And things are... 277 00:17:59,601 --> 00:18:02,895 - Getting weird? - Yeah, a little bit. 278 00:18:02,979 --> 00:18:05,398 First summer back from college. 279 00:18:05,482 --> 00:18:08,277 Yep, things are gonna get weirder. 280 00:18:08,360 --> 00:18:11,737 - What are you talkin' about? - Well, times change, people change. 281 00:18:11,820 --> 00:18:13,740 lt's just what happens, you now. 282 00:18:13,824 --> 00:18:17,412 Kev, listen. Go into my old room. 283 00:18:17,495 --> 00:18:21,083 My friends and I knew that it was up to us to stick together. 284 00:18:21,166 --> 00:18:24,919 You remember my first college summer? We rented the lake house in Grand Harbour. 285 00:18:25,002 --> 00:18:28,132 We treated every day out there lie it was a post-prom party. 286 00:18:28,215 --> 00:18:31,094 Hell of a time. We capped it all off with a massive blow-out. 287 00:18:31,175 --> 00:18:33,262 Best ever. it was legendary. 288 00:18:33,346 --> 00:18:35,682 My advice is do that. By the end of the summer... 289 00:18:35,765 --> 00:18:38,642 you're gonna see the big picture. 290 00:18:53,576 --> 00:18:57,080 - She's on the phone. It's long-distance. - Who? 291 00:18:57,164 --> 00:18:58,789 - Nadia! Nadia! - What? 292 00:18:58,873 --> 00:19:02,586 New York. Hello. Yes, dear, he's right here. 293 00:19:02,669 --> 00:19:04,713 - Here. Wait. - Now remember... 294 00:19:04,796 --> 00:19:07,968 Yes, I am sure to go see the Lion King. 295 00:19:08,052 --> 00:19:11,136 Right. and don't ride the subway after midnight. 296 00:19:11,220 --> 00:19:14,974 I know they've done wonderful things with that city, but, you know, for me... 297 00:19:15,058 --> 00:19:18,186 - Dad! - He's right... Hang on. 298 00:19:23,442 --> 00:19:26,446 - How was college? - College was excellent. 299 00:19:26,530 --> 00:19:29,491 Yeah. Yeah, it was... it was really excellent. 300 00:19:29,573 --> 00:19:32,201 You have not forgotten about me, have you? 301 00:19:32,286 --> 00:19:35,622 No. I... Absolutely not. 302 00:19:35,706 --> 00:19:39,001 - l definitely didn't. - Good, because guess what. 303 00:19:39,085 --> 00:19:41,296 I'm coming to see you at the end of summer. 304 00:19:41,379 --> 00:19:43,923 l hope you're ready for me... 305 00:19:44,007 --> 00:19:48,637 because l have not forgotten about you either, you sexy boy. 306 00:19:48,721 --> 00:19:51,347 - Shit. - Jim, you can eat hot dogs tomorrow. 307 00:19:51,431 --> 00:19:54,810 No, Finch, it's not the hot dogs. 308 00:19:54,894 --> 00:19:56,811 Nadia called me this morning. 309 00:19:56,894 --> 00:20:00,065 She's coming here at the end of the summer and she wants to see me. 310 00:20:00,150 --> 00:20:03,319 - That's killer. - Yeah, that's a good thing. 311 00:20:03,403 --> 00:20:06,281 No, not ''good thing.'' Not ''killer.'' 312 00:20:06,365 --> 00:20:08,490 I'll never be able to do it. 313 00:20:08,573 --> 00:20:12,453 Nadia is gonna be expecting filet mignon. 314 00:20:12,537 --> 00:20:17,042 Okay, and all I'm gonna be able to give her... 315 00:20:17,126 --> 00:20:18,712 is rump roast. 316 00:20:20,463 --> 00:20:22,298 Come on. 317 00:20:22,381 --> 00:20:24,843 Jim, you've had experience since Nadia. 318 00:20:24,926 --> 00:20:26,846 Ah, yes, you would be referring to... 319 00:20:26,929 --> 00:20:30,306 the flute-fetish band geek that made me her bitch, then ditched me after prom. 320 00:20:30,391 --> 00:20:32,476 Yes, that's great experience. 321 00:20:32,559 --> 00:20:36,062 You just gotta find the right girl, Jimbo. 322 00:20:36,146 --> 00:20:38,149 - Brings it all together. - I had the right woman. 323 00:20:38,233 --> 00:20:42,321 She just sells her cottage and takes off to parts unknown. 324 00:20:43,364 --> 00:20:45,991 My romantic life has passed its peak. 325 00:20:46,074 --> 00:20:48,243 Take me out to the pasture and shoot me. 326 00:20:48,326 --> 00:20:53,040 Super start to a super summer, fellas. Welcome home. 327 00:20:54,750 --> 00:20:58,505 Guys, I got it. Pack your bags. 328 00:20:58,588 --> 00:20:59,840 For what? 329 00:20:59,924 --> 00:21:02,008 We're moving to the lake. 330 00:21:05,305 --> 00:21:08,473 We're gonna be the shit. Everybody on the beach is gonna know us. 331 00:21:08,556 --> 00:21:11,268 Plenty of opportunities to practise for Nadia. 332 00:21:11,351 --> 00:21:14,606 Throw a huge party at the end of the summer to cap it all off. 333 00:21:14,689 --> 00:21:18,319 Dude, that's a great idea. That way we'll be able to welcome Heather back... 334 00:21:18,402 --> 00:21:21,446 and we'll be able to prepare for Nadia's big arrival. 335 00:21:21,529 --> 00:21:25,159 This is it. This is my summer of love. 336 00:21:25,243 --> 00:21:27,452 Just thought I'd say goodbye to you animals. 337 00:21:27,535 --> 00:21:29,789 Hey, Mr Levenstein. How are you, sir? 338 00:21:31,207 --> 00:21:34,126 - All packed up, I see. - We're all set, Dad. 339 00:21:34,210 --> 00:21:36,713 Don't worry, okay? I'll be fine. 340 00:21:36,797 --> 00:21:38,758 Come on and give your old man a hug. 341 00:21:50,478 --> 00:21:52,064 Keep it real, homies. 342 00:21:52,147 --> 00:21:54,356 You too, sir. Have a good summer. 343 00:21:55,399 --> 00:21:57,653 All right, let's go. 344 00:21:57,736 --> 00:21:59,571 I've been running these numbers here... 345 00:21:59,654 --> 00:22:02,199 and I don't think the four of us can afford this place. 346 00:22:02,284 --> 00:22:06,035 - Not on summer jobs. - Well, I kinda thought of that. 347 00:22:06,703 --> 00:22:10,249 So, I invited someone else. 348 00:22:12,544 --> 00:22:16,465 Oh, yeah! The Stifmeister's coming back to Grand Harbour! 349 00:22:16,549 --> 00:22:19,050 Deck the halls! Bye-bye, Great Falls! 350 00:22:19,134 --> 00:22:21,387 Wipe my ass and lick my balls! 351 00:22:21,471 --> 00:22:23,766 It's Stifler time, baby! 352 00:22:37,863 --> 00:22:42,410 Stifler, if you're gonna be living with us, you gotta behave yourself. 353 00:22:42,494 --> 00:22:46,372 All right, you and Finch just stay out of each other's way. 354 00:22:46,455 --> 00:22:49,209 Kevin, Stifler's stench is unavoidable. 355 00:22:49,293 --> 00:22:51,377 Finch, fist yourself. 356 00:22:53,547 --> 00:22:55,632 That's right, baby. We're here. 357 00:22:56,301 --> 00:22:58,428 Yeah, baby, we're here! 358 00:23:25,707 --> 00:23:28,585 - It's a palace. - It's a temple. 359 00:23:31,505 --> 00:23:33,424 Isn't this great? 360 00:23:34,509 --> 00:23:36,260 Are you kidding me? 361 00:23:52,570 --> 00:23:54,197 This just won't do. 362 00:24:27,942 --> 00:24:29,401 Guys. 363 00:24:31,863 --> 00:24:34,616 Check this out. This is it. 364 00:24:45,879 --> 00:24:48,506 Will you idiots tell me what this fucker's doin'? 365 00:24:55,305 --> 00:24:57,016 Don't touch me while I'm tantric. 366 00:24:57,099 --> 00:25:00,601 ''Tantric?'' What the fuck is tantric? 367 00:25:00,684 --> 00:25:02,353 It's a Buddhist discipline. 368 00:25:02,437 --> 00:25:07,109 You learn to channel your body's energies... your chakras. 369 00:25:07,193 --> 00:25:11,073 When you can do that, you can have sex for hours, even days. 370 00:25:11,156 --> 00:25:12,700 And this stuff's for real? 371 00:25:12,783 --> 00:25:15,201 It's been around for centuries. 372 00:25:15,285 --> 00:25:17,663 With tantra you can make an entire session of sex... 373 00:25:17,746 --> 00:25:20,665 feel like one giant orgasm. 374 00:25:20,750 --> 00:25:24,587 Eventually, you can sustain that feeling by meditating. 375 00:25:24,670 --> 00:25:27,923 - Maybe you can teach me sometime? - Very doubtful. 376 00:25:28,007 --> 00:25:30,218 - True. - Come on, Jim. 377 00:25:30,301 --> 00:25:33,556 - You can't possibly be that bad. - Oh, no? 378 00:25:33,639 --> 00:25:35,850 No way. 379 00:25:35,933 --> 00:25:39,728 I guess there's only one person that really knows for sure, huh? 380 00:25:39,811 --> 00:25:42,398 Oh, yeah? Where is she this summer? 381 00:25:56,290 --> 00:25:59,582 Hey, are you here for the mid-session performance? 382 00:25:59,665 --> 00:26:01,793 Guests go in the amphitheatre. You can't be here. 383 00:26:01,877 --> 00:26:03,838 Do you know where I could find Michele Flaherty? 384 00:26:03,921 --> 00:26:06,925 Guests bring food. Food attracts animals. This one time... 385 00:26:07,008 --> 00:26:09,387 a bear came, and then the bear had to be destroyed... 386 00:26:09,471 --> 00:26:12,389 which means they shot it in the head with a rifle and killed it and it died. 387 00:26:13,140 --> 00:26:15,059 You must know Michele. 388 00:26:15,142 --> 00:26:17,312 One, two, three, four. 389 00:26:35,623 --> 00:26:37,459 That's a lot of flutes. 390 00:26:42,130 --> 00:26:44,217 Good luck. Thanks. 391 00:26:44,299 --> 00:26:47,010 Good job. Have fun at your next class. 392 00:26:53,184 --> 00:26:55,104 Jim. Holy potatoes! 393 00:26:55,938 --> 00:26:58,397 You're really here? 394 00:26:58,480 --> 00:26:59,607 Oh, shoot! 395 00:26:59,691 --> 00:27:01,776 We're not supposed to have visitors... 396 00:27:02,528 --> 00:27:05,113 'cause this one time, here... 397 00:27:05,531 --> 00:27:07,409 this kid had these cookies... 398 00:27:07,492 --> 00:27:10,285 Let me guess. A bear came. 399 00:27:10,369 --> 00:27:11,454 Cool. 400 00:27:11,537 --> 00:27:13,790 It's like you know all our stories. 401 00:27:15,710 --> 00:27:17,669 Was that a question? 402 00:27:17,753 --> 00:27:19,796 I don't know. Maybe. 403 00:27:19,881 --> 00:27:22,132 Do you wanna answer it anyway? 404 00:27:23,466 --> 00:27:27,973 I left you like... like three messages after prom. 405 00:27:28,056 --> 00:27:29,349 Really? 406 00:27:29,432 --> 00:27:32,185 You didn't think I was weird... 407 00:27:32,269 --> 00:27:34,771 because of the way I acted that night? 408 00:27:34,855 --> 00:27:37,523 Weird, no. 409 00:27:37,607 --> 00:27:39,694 Surprising, yes. 410 00:27:39,777 --> 00:27:42,155 I get nasty when I'm horny. 411 00:27:42,239 --> 00:27:44,739 That's kind of why I'm here. 412 00:27:46,284 --> 00:27:49,704 You remember, was I any good that night? 413 00:27:49,787 --> 00:27:52,833 Wow.Jeez. 414 00:27:52,917 --> 00:27:54,669 How could I forget? 415 00:27:54,752 --> 00:27:58,630 You sucked. You didn't know what the hell you were doing. 416 00:27:58,713 --> 00:28:02,301 But wasn't it fun even though you were so terrible? 417 00:28:02,384 --> 00:28:05,305 - I'm sorry. ''Terrible?'' - I've had worse. 418 00:28:07,975 --> 00:28:09,100 Sorry. 419 00:28:09,183 --> 00:28:12,396 I could give you some pointers if you want. 420 00:28:12,480 --> 00:28:13,815 Really? 421 00:28:15,606 --> 00:28:19,319 Shoot. Okay, wait here. I'll meet you in an hour, okay? 422 00:28:19,402 --> 00:28:21,280 - Yeah. - Wait. 423 00:28:21,364 --> 00:28:23,491 Cool idea. 424 00:28:32,669 --> 00:28:34,961 What are you doing? 425 00:28:37,464 --> 00:28:40,594 You're all right. Here we go. You know you're not supposed to be here now. 426 00:28:40,677 --> 00:28:44,598 Everyone's supposed to be in the amphitheatre. All right, come on. 427 00:28:44,681 --> 00:28:47,100 It's piss-poor to be this late. I'm very angry right now. 428 00:28:47,184 --> 00:28:50,104 You can tell by the tone of my voice I'm angry. I'm pissed off. 429 00:28:50,187 --> 00:28:52,441 Here they are. Got him home. 430 00:28:52,524 --> 00:28:54,523 Wait a minute. Are you Petey? 431 00:28:56,318 --> 00:28:57,695 Yeah, sure. 432 00:28:57,779 --> 00:29:00,240 Petey! Well, that explains everything. 433 00:29:00,324 --> 00:29:02,951 All right. Well, always something with these kids. Go! 434 00:29:03,034 --> 00:29:07,247 We are just so thrilled to have you. None of my kids are at your calibre. 435 00:29:07,331 --> 00:29:09,374 But we are just so overjoyed... 436 00:29:09,459 --> 00:29:11,795 to have someone with your kind of talent here. 437 00:29:11,878 --> 00:29:13,587 Here you go. 438 00:29:13,670 --> 00:29:15,798 Look at this. Your old best friend. 439 00:29:15,882 --> 00:29:17,759 I know it's not yours... 440 00:29:17,842 --> 00:29:19,928 but you are going to make beautiful music. 441 00:29:20,011 --> 00:29:22,097 This is fantastic. I'm very excited. 442 00:29:22,180 --> 00:29:25,559 You just own this and break a leg. 443 00:29:43,453 --> 00:29:45,331 What was he doing wandering unsupervised? 444 00:29:45,415 --> 00:29:47,166 Who knows? 445 00:29:47,249 --> 00:29:50,796 I'll tell you something. I'm about fed up with these Tall Oaks North kids. 446 00:29:57,386 --> 00:30:00,347 Kids, entertain yourselves. Play along with Petey. 447 00:30:00,430 --> 00:30:03,267 No, no, no, Petey. Here we go. 448 00:30:03,351 --> 00:30:05,810 All right, all right. Come on, now. A little encouragement. 449 00:30:08,731 --> 00:30:11,402 Folks, he's just a little nervous. 450 00:30:12,443 --> 00:30:14,279 This isn't right. 451 00:30:14,363 --> 00:30:16,281 Just blow on it, kid. All right. 452 00:30:16,364 --> 00:30:17,950 Here we go. 453 00:30:29,838 --> 00:30:32,006 Play! Do something. 454 00:30:43,144 --> 00:30:45,146 Special, my ass. 455 00:30:45,230 --> 00:30:47,525 Come on. Give the little guy some support. 456 00:30:49,903 --> 00:30:52,904 Come on, Petey. You're doing great, partner. 457 00:30:54,322 --> 00:30:56,450 Come on, honey. You can do it. 458 00:30:56,534 --> 00:30:58,160 Come on, Petey. 459 00:31:00,246 --> 00:31:01,832 What the hell. 460 00:31:05,919 --> 00:31:07,421 All right! 461 00:31:07,504 --> 00:31:11,466 All right, Petey! Come on, now! Come on! 462 00:31:12,509 --> 00:31:14,344 Rock and roll! 463 00:31:57,475 --> 00:31:58,393 Thank you! 464 00:32:01,396 --> 00:32:03,315 Thank you, Tall Oaks. You're beautiful. 465 00:32:08,655 --> 00:32:10,573 My name is Petey! 466 00:32:11,657 --> 00:32:14,119 Thank you! 467 00:32:14,911 --> 00:32:17,122 And I have gigantic balls! 468 00:32:34,849 --> 00:32:36,350 Not now! Come back later. Go! 469 00:32:40,314 --> 00:32:42,650 Hey, hey, hey. Come back here! 470 00:32:42,733 --> 00:32:45,987 - I wanna talk to you! - You are so sweet. 471 00:32:46,071 --> 00:32:48,988 He is special. 472 00:32:49,406 --> 00:32:51,534 He's my bitch. 473 00:32:53,328 --> 00:32:55,705 Well, Michele has confirmed it. 474 00:32:55,788 --> 00:32:59,211 - I suck. - What? 475 00:32:59,294 --> 00:33:02,087 I gotta get some practice. 476 00:33:02,170 --> 00:33:05,509 Don't worry about it. I mean, that's why we got the house, Jimbo. 477 00:33:05,592 --> 00:33:09,888 We plop a keg on the deck and the girls come in off the beach. 478 00:33:09,971 --> 00:33:13,058 It's like a hummingbird feeder. 479 00:33:13,141 --> 00:33:16,061 - You think so? - I know so. 480 00:33:16,144 --> 00:33:18,064 Guaranteed hotties. 481 00:33:18,439 --> 00:33:20,775 Fellas, nice pad. 482 00:33:20,858 --> 00:33:23,819 Good view, but... 483 00:33:23,904 --> 00:33:27,323 the Sherminator sensors detect no female life forms in the vicinity. 484 00:33:27,406 --> 00:33:31,745 High likelihood of a sausage fest in progress. 485 00:33:31,829 --> 00:33:34,206 The girls are coming. I made some calls. 486 00:33:36,542 --> 00:33:39,795 The Sherminator's got a point, Kev. 487 00:33:39,879 --> 00:33:43,884 Since when do you start listening to the Sherminator? 488 00:33:43,968 --> 00:33:47,845 Since he made me realize there's an abundance of wiener here. 489 00:33:47,929 --> 00:33:50,473 I mean, look around, dude. 490 00:33:50,557 --> 00:33:52,767 All right, now it's your turn. 491 00:33:52,851 --> 00:33:54,812 Come on. There's nothing to tell. 492 00:33:55,855 --> 00:33:58,400 Hey, what's up? What are you guys talking about? 493 00:33:58,483 --> 00:34:00,694 You know, we're just trading war stories about college... 494 00:34:00,777 --> 00:34:03,196 who hooked up with who, who slept with who... 495 00:34:03,280 --> 00:34:05,491 So, Vicky? 496 00:34:05,572 --> 00:34:09,577 Well, there was this one guy. How 'bout you? 497 00:34:09,661 --> 00:34:12,288 You know, there was a few girls... 498 00:34:12,371 --> 00:34:13,373 three. 499 00:34:13,456 --> 00:34:16,336 Look at you. You stud. 500 00:34:17,755 --> 00:34:19,965 All right, Oz. Now that Kevin told us, what about you? 501 00:34:20,048 --> 00:34:23,511 You haven't had the slightest bit of attraction to any girl at school? 502 00:34:23,594 --> 00:34:26,471 Don't you fuckin' say no. I know you did. 503 00:34:27,389 --> 00:34:29,475 Even if I did... 504 00:34:29,558 --> 00:34:32,687 it wouldn't be anything more than just a momentary thing. 505 00:34:32,770 --> 00:34:35,773 Very uninteresting. 506 00:34:35,857 --> 00:34:38,819 How about you, Jessica? How many chicks did you sleep with this year? 507 00:34:38,902 --> 00:34:40,738 Gee, wouldn't you like to know. 508 00:34:42,323 --> 00:34:43,783 Fuck yeah, I would. 509 00:34:45,658 --> 00:34:46,993 Come on, Ozzy. 510 00:34:47,077 --> 00:34:49,497 Yeah, man. Ball. Pool's yours. 511 00:34:49,580 --> 00:34:52,500 - Hey, Vic, you wanna play? - Yeah, sure. You wanna break? 512 00:34:58,339 --> 00:35:00,509 Where are the fuckin' females? 513 00:35:01,177 --> 00:35:05,305 Jim, can't you leave your shirt on? You're scaring the chicks away. 514 00:35:05,764 --> 00:35:07,600 Dude, give him a break. 515 00:35:09,351 --> 00:35:10,852 Ozzy, go deep. 516 00:35:10,936 --> 00:35:13,523 - Yeah, bro. You playing? - No. 517 00:35:15,984 --> 00:35:18,404 No, keep going. Flank pattern. 518 00:35:18,487 --> 00:35:20,948 - What are you doin'? - Fishin'. 519 00:35:28,623 --> 00:35:29,999 Are you okay? 520 00:35:31,708 --> 00:35:35,464 - You okay? - I'm so sorry. Is everybody okay? 521 00:35:42,556 --> 00:35:43,930 Amazing. 522 00:35:46,809 --> 00:35:49,062 The Force is strong in that one. 523 00:35:50,355 --> 00:35:51,439 Whoa. 524 00:35:52,483 --> 00:35:57,195 The Sherminator detects serious heat at a distance of two metres. 525 00:35:57,279 --> 00:35:59,240 Preparing to deploy beer. 526 00:36:02,367 --> 00:36:05,914 Dude, let me give you a valuable piece of advice, okay? 527 00:36:05,997 --> 00:36:07,623 Drop the whole ''Sherminator'' thing. 528 00:36:07,707 --> 00:36:09,834 Please repeat previous statement. 529 00:36:09,917 --> 00:36:12,796 Look, I know your last name is Sherman, right? 530 00:36:12,921 --> 00:36:15,466 And that rhymes with The Terminator... 531 00:36:15,549 --> 00:36:17,968 which was a big hit movie ten years ago. 532 00:36:18,051 --> 00:36:20,888 But you can't tell me a girl's ever really gone for it. 533 00:36:21,766 --> 00:36:24,976 System overload. Hasta la vista, Jessica. 534 00:36:28,230 --> 00:36:29,481 Freak. 535 00:36:31,775 --> 00:36:34,654 Vic, hey, you guys are leaving? 536 00:36:34,738 --> 00:36:38,491 You know, we barely had a chance to hang out, you know, catch up. 537 00:36:38,575 --> 00:36:41,910 - What are you doing this weekend? - I can get together. 538 00:36:41,994 --> 00:36:44,246 - Cool. Let's hang out. - All right. 539 00:36:44,330 --> 00:36:46,917 - Bye, Kev. - See ya, Jess. 540 00:36:50,129 --> 00:36:52,924 No, no, that's all wrong. 541 00:36:53,006 --> 00:36:56,176 Thank you. Have a nice day. 542 00:36:56,260 --> 00:36:59,180 - So what does he mean, ''meet up''? - You know, like hang out... 543 00:36:59,264 --> 00:37:00,806 grab lunch, whatever. 544 00:37:00,890 --> 00:37:04,520 I told you, we're just friends now. And he totally understands. 545 00:37:04,603 --> 00:37:08,231 - I'm sure he understands quite well. - He does. 546 00:37:08,314 --> 00:37:12,613 Oh, no, sir. These are all wrong for you. I mean, seriously. 547 00:37:13,946 --> 00:37:15,699 Sure. Well, we're friends. 548 00:37:15,783 --> 00:37:19,286 But it's not like I see her making plans with anyone else. 549 00:37:19,369 --> 00:37:22,997 I don't see her with a boyfriend. I think that puts me on deck. 550 00:37:24,124 --> 00:37:27,795 Hey, Vicky only slept with one guy since we went out. 551 00:37:27,878 --> 00:37:32,300 I mean, that like makes me 50% of her entire guy-related life. 552 00:37:32,384 --> 00:37:34,344 You dipshit. 553 00:37:34,427 --> 00:37:37,598 She didn't sleep with one guy. She slept with at least three. 554 00:37:37,681 --> 00:37:39,309 What? 555 00:37:39,392 --> 00:37:41,475 When a girl tells you how many guys she slept with... 556 00:37:41,559 --> 00:37:43,562 multiply it by three and that's the real number. 557 00:37:43,645 --> 00:37:46,649 Didn't you fuckers learn anything at college? 558 00:37:48,129 --> 00:37:52,488 - Kevin did not sleep with three girls. - Why would he lie to me? 559 00:37:52,696 --> 00:37:55,658 It's not a lie. It's an adjustment. The rule of three. 560 00:37:56,076 --> 00:37:58,016 - The rule of what? - Three. 561 00:37:58,121 --> 00:38:01,414 If a guy tells you how many girls he's been with, it's not even close to that. 562 00:38:01,519 --> 00:38:04,960 Take that number and divide it by three. Then you get the real total. 563 00:38:05,065 --> 00:38:09,110 So, if Kevin's saying it's been three girls, it's more like one, or none. 564 00:38:09,216 --> 00:38:11,425 - None? - Rule of three. 565 00:38:11,531 --> 00:38:14,325 It's an exact science, consistent as gravity. 566 00:38:27,068 --> 00:38:28,653 Oh, my God! 567 00:38:30,489 --> 00:38:33,451 Guys, check it out. 568 00:38:34,076 --> 00:38:36,496 Lesbians. 569 00:38:36,579 --> 00:38:38,390 Lesbians live here. 570 00:38:38,495 --> 00:38:40,999 You know, Mr Homophobic Wizard... 571 00:38:41,082 --> 00:38:45,254 that it is possible for women to hold hands and not be gay. 572 00:38:45,337 --> 00:38:46,923 Friends can hold hands. 573 00:38:47,006 --> 00:38:50,135 Hey, Finch, I don't wanna hear about you and your boyfriends. 574 00:38:50,218 --> 00:38:53,430 - Go jerk off. - Unnecessary. 575 00:38:53,514 --> 00:38:55,975 Tantra teaches you to hold an orgasm over time... 576 00:38:56,059 --> 00:38:58,518 in anticipation of an ultimate moment... 577 00:38:58,602 --> 00:39:01,022 to release it upon the world. 578 00:39:01,106 --> 00:39:03,357 I'm filling up to the brim. 579 00:39:03,441 --> 00:39:07,862 That's fucking disgusting! I'm gonna throw up. 580 00:39:15,455 --> 00:39:17,205 Hey, Heather. You're in! 581 00:39:18,582 --> 00:39:20,126 How's the studying going? 582 00:39:20,209 --> 00:39:22,171 I'd hardly call it studying. 583 00:39:22,254 --> 00:39:24,172 I've been going to the Picasso museum... 584 00:39:24,255 --> 00:39:26,633 hanging out at Sagrada Familia... 585 00:39:26,716 --> 00:39:29,136 going with Pierre to the Parc Guell. 586 00:39:29,220 --> 00:39:31,722 - Who's Pierre? - One of the guys in the programme. 587 00:39:31,806 --> 00:39:34,643 He's got a girlfriend back in France, so we've kind of got something in common. 588 00:39:34,727 --> 00:39:36,395 That sounds cool. 589 00:39:36,479 --> 00:39:40,732 Yeah, I've overheard them on the phone at night. 590 00:39:40,815 --> 00:39:44,569 And, well, it made me think. 591 00:39:44,652 --> 00:39:48,532 Hey, Oz, l'm reaching under my shirt and l'm rubbing myself. 592 00:39:50,284 --> 00:39:53,580 Oz, come on. It's phone sex. Help me out here. 593 00:39:53,664 --> 00:39:55,123 Okay. 594 00:39:58,042 --> 00:40:01,004 I'm going over to my bed. 595 00:40:02,088 --> 00:40:04,424 and l'm lying down. 596 00:40:04,508 --> 00:40:06,969 And I'm slowly... 597 00:40:07,053 --> 00:40:10,431 reaching downstairs. 598 00:40:10,515 --> 00:40:12,266 Grab it. Tell me how big it is. 599 00:40:13,644 --> 00:40:16,854 Listen, Heather, I'm feeling kind of awkward. 600 00:40:16,937 --> 00:40:20,693 If we can't be with each other, then we have to learn to be more vocal. 601 00:40:20,776 --> 00:40:23,195 - Right? - Right. Okay. 602 00:40:23,278 --> 00:40:27,951 Okay, here we go. I'm reaching in my pants now. 603 00:40:28,034 --> 00:40:29,744 And I'm rubbing it for you, Heather. 604 00:40:29,828 --> 00:40:32,623 And it feels so good. 605 00:40:32,706 --> 00:40:34,998 - Yeah, me too. - Oh, yeah. 606 00:40:35,081 --> 00:40:36,917 I got... 607 00:40:37,001 --> 00:40:38,211 Call waiting. 608 00:40:39,296 --> 00:40:41,006 Shit. Hello? 609 00:40:43,300 --> 00:40:44,761 Wrong number. 610 00:40:45,887 --> 00:40:47,805 Hey. Hello. Wrong number. 611 00:40:50,182 --> 00:40:53,395 All right, look, man. I got my hand on my dick right now, okay... 612 00:40:53,479 --> 00:40:55,981 and I'm trying to have sex with my girlfriend over the phone. 613 00:40:57,023 --> 00:40:58,984 Good for you, man. 614 00:41:03,489 --> 00:41:06,034 Sorry about that. Where were we? 615 00:41:06,117 --> 00:41:08,453 I think you were reaching for something. 616 00:41:08,537 --> 00:41:10,621 Oh, yeah. 617 00:41:10,705 --> 00:41:15,668 Oh, yeah, Heather. I'm rubbing it and it feels so good. 618 00:41:16,629 --> 00:41:20,424 Hey, Oz, I'm touching myself. What else do you want me to do? 619 00:41:20,508 --> 00:41:22,926 Heather, baby. 620 00:41:23,010 --> 00:41:25,806 Why don't you tell me my dick is as big as Stifler's. 621 00:41:25,889 --> 00:41:26,973 Stifler, get off! 622 00:41:27,057 --> 00:41:30,228 I am getting off just listening to the two of you guys. 623 00:41:30,311 --> 00:41:33,106 - Keep going. - We should try this another time. 624 00:41:33,189 --> 00:41:36,107 Yeah, all right. Bye. I love you. 625 00:41:36,191 --> 00:41:39,446 - I love you. - Come on you, guys. I was almost there! 626 00:41:39,529 --> 00:41:42,532 - Nice talking with you, Steven. - Stifler, man! 627 00:41:44,034 --> 00:41:45,535 Repressed. 628 00:41:55,295 --> 00:41:56,839 Check it out. 629 00:41:56,922 --> 00:41:59,257 Potential lesbians leaving the building. 630 00:42:07,643 --> 00:42:09,561 All right. Now is my chance. 631 00:42:09,645 --> 00:42:12,271 I need confirmation. 632 00:42:12,355 --> 00:42:14,441 Stifler. Hey, man, what are you doing? 633 00:42:15,046 --> 00:42:16,236 Go get him. 634 00:42:16,319 --> 00:42:17,779 You ass. Stifler, get out. 635 00:42:24,411 --> 00:42:27,999 Shit, dude! I found a dildo! 636 00:42:29,083 --> 00:42:31,211 Big blue rubber dicks for everyone! 637 00:42:31,357 --> 00:42:34,714 - The people demand rubber dicks! - Finch, help. 638 00:42:34,797 --> 00:42:37,259 Dildo, dildo, dildo! 639 00:42:39,177 --> 00:42:42,264 - What are you doing? - Looking for more lesbian artefacts. 640 00:42:43,641 --> 00:42:45,642 - Where'd you get this? - Finch's ass. 641 00:42:46,935 --> 00:42:48,855 Shit! Guys, they're back. 642 00:42:51,481 --> 00:42:52,483 Stall 'em! 643 00:42:54,110 --> 00:42:55,444 Come on. Come on! 644 00:42:55,527 --> 00:42:58,531 - Come on. Come on. - This is awesome! 645 00:42:58,614 --> 00:43:00,868 Danielle, Amber, hi. 646 00:43:00,951 --> 00:43:03,955 Just needed the paper, huh? 647 00:43:06,416 --> 00:43:10,045 - Which room? - I can't remember. I was too excited. 648 00:43:10,128 --> 00:43:12,671 - I'm in a lesbian stronghold. - Was it in here? 649 00:43:12,754 --> 00:43:16,093 - Why you asking me so many questions? - Was it in here? 650 00:43:16,177 --> 00:43:18,886 - Maybe. - Was it or was it not here? 651 00:43:18,970 --> 00:43:21,807 Happy painting, boys. 652 00:43:23,268 --> 00:43:25,310 You gotta get out of there. They're inside. 653 00:43:25,395 --> 00:43:26,646 Oh, shit, balls! 654 00:43:32,067 --> 00:43:35,405 - Very original, Steven. - Don't call me Steven. 655 00:43:48,963 --> 00:43:51,255 I can wear that little leopard bikini of mine. 656 00:43:51,339 --> 00:43:54,008 I love that one. It's so cute on you. 657 00:43:54,092 --> 00:43:55,636 Help me zip, please. 658 00:43:58,347 --> 00:44:02,477 - Did I show you my cute pink shoes? - Does it match your pink bikini? 659 00:44:02,560 --> 00:44:04,521 They're getting naked. 660 00:44:08,400 --> 00:44:09,942 - Cute. - Thank you. 661 00:44:17,743 --> 00:44:19,620 Shit. She's de-pantsing. 662 00:44:19,703 --> 00:44:21,498 Oh, man. 663 00:44:21,581 --> 00:44:25,711 Wait. They can't hear us inside? We won't cross over their radio? 664 00:44:25,795 --> 00:44:28,963 No, man. These work on a CB frequency. 665 00:44:29,046 --> 00:44:30,882 This girl is so hot. 666 00:44:35,887 --> 00:44:38,850 Two possible lesbians in their bras and panties. 667 00:44:38,934 --> 00:44:40,060 Lesbians? 668 00:44:41,560 --> 00:44:43,647 Did you say lesbians? 669 00:44:43,730 --> 00:44:45,149 Hot lesbians! 670 00:44:48,380 --> 00:44:50,425 This is not gonna fit. Look at you and look at me. 671 00:44:50,508 --> 00:44:53,762 - Too big. - I'll get you the blue stringy number. 672 00:44:56,556 --> 00:44:58,434 Johnny West is missing. 673 00:45:00,019 --> 00:45:02,146 Maybe you kicked it under the bed. 674 00:45:04,232 --> 00:45:05,566 Okay, let me look. 675 00:45:05,651 --> 00:45:08,485 Wait. Didn't you have it when we were downstairs? 676 00:45:08,568 --> 00:45:09,987 Maybe. 677 00:45:13,826 --> 00:45:16,912 Guys, get the hell out of there right now. 678 00:45:18,998 --> 00:45:19,916 Come on! 679 00:45:19,999 --> 00:45:22,418 - It's clear! - Go, go, go! 680 00:45:28,048 --> 00:45:29,383 They're coming back. 681 00:45:35,140 --> 00:45:38,395 I'm just so glad I found him. He's my favourite collectible. 682 00:45:38,478 --> 00:45:39,937 I know. 683 00:45:43,065 --> 00:45:45,986 Holy shit! There's a dildo in my drawer. 684 00:45:46,070 --> 00:45:47,528 Oh, my God! 685 00:45:47,612 --> 00:45:49,740 You could have asked me if you wanted to borrow it. 686 00:45:50,907 --> 00:45:52,493 Stop it. 687 00:45:54,828 --> 00:45:58,041 - What the hell was that? - I don't know. Call 9 11 . 688 00:46:01,712 --> 00:46:03,297 - No 9 11 . - Don't call the police. 689 00:46:03,380 --> 00:46:07,258 - My God, it's the painting kids. - I'm still calling the cops. 690 00:46:07,342 --> 00:46:09,303 Okay, no, no, no. This isn't right. 691 00:46:09,386 --> 00:46:12,639 - Look. Stifler did break in here. - You dick! 692 00:46:12,723 --> 00:46:15,309 But we just followed him in to get him out. 693 00:46:16,936 --> 00:46:19,605 I just wanted proof that you chicks are really lesbians. 694 00:46:24,320 --> 00:46:27,279 You wanna mess with 'em? 695 00:46:27,364 --> 00:46:29,283 Yeah, it'll be fun. 696 00:46:29,366 --> 00:46:31,494 Let's do it. 697 00:46:32,536 --> 00:46:34,956 You guys like that? 698 00:46:42,882 --> 00:46:45,634 Ozzy, stand by for confirmation. 699 00:46:47,261 --> 00:46:49,889 That's a big 10-4 on the confirmation. 700 00:46:52,016 --> 00:46:55,061 Sounds like your little friends outside wanna play too. 701 00:46:59,462 --> 00:47:01,380 You won't be needing this. 702 00:47:02,591 --> 00:47:04,550 Who wants me to touch Amber? 703 00:47:05,864 --> 00:47:07,116 l do, l do. 704 00:47:07,178 --> 00:47:09,703 - Who the hell is that? - Who's this? 705 00:47:09,786 --> 00:47:13,289 This is John... Smith. 706 00:47:13,372 --> 00:47:17,502 I'm turning off my radio now. 707 00:47:17,586 --> 00:47:21,842 Okay. Where should I touch Amber? 708 00:47:21,925 --> 00:47:24,300 Ass, baby. Feel that ass! 709 00:47:29,266 --> 00:47:30,224 That's nice. 710 00:47:33,938 --> 00:47:37,273 I know. You feel his ass first. 711 00:47:38,651 --> 00:47:39,568 Excuse me? 712 00:47:39,651 --> 00:47:42,489 Yeah, I like that. That's good. 713 00:47:42,572 --> 00:47:45,824 I got some painting I should... 714 00:47:45,908 --> 00:47:48,786 Jim, hold on. I can handle it. 715 00:47:48,870 --> 00:47:51,164 - What? - I'm comfortable with my sexuality. 716 00:47:51,247 --> 00:47:53,709 And I would love to see that show. 717 00:47:53,792 --> 00:47:55,962 Bravo! 718 00:47:59,423 --> 00:48:02,219 One finger on the cheek. 719 00:48:02,302 --> 00:48:04,387 We want... 720 00:48:04,470 --> 00:48:07,182 palm grasping. 721 00:48:08,267 --> 00:48:10,268 That's too much. No, no, no. 722 00:48:10,352 --> 00:48:12,395 You don't touch, we don't touch. 723 00:48:12,479 --> 00:48:15,941 - Squeeze his ass, son. You'll like it. - Come on, boys. 724 00:48:16,024 --> 00:48:19,654 - Jesus Christ. - Oh, shit. 725 00:48:22,075 --> 00:48:24,074 I'm touching his ass. I'm touching his ass. 726 00:48:25,660 --> 00:48:27,704 Red Leader, what's your position? 727 00:48:27,788 --> 00:48:30,707 l'm touching his ass. l'm touching his ass. 728 00:48:30,791 --> 00:48:31,709 Mommy! 729 00:48:32,960 --> 00:48:34,086 You can go. 730 00:48:34,170 --> 00:48:36,088 That really wasn't bad. 731 00:48:36,171 --> 00:48:38,675 - I wanna go home. - That's too bad. 732 00:48:40,511 --> 00:48:43,388 Never mind. I'm staying. 733 00:48:43,471 --> 00:48:45,932 Danielle is feeling my breasts. 734 00:48:48,518 --> 00:48:50,478 No way, dude! 735 00:48:50,562 --> 00:48:52,273 Her breasts are so luscious. 736 00:48:52,356 --> 00:48:54,859 What a wonderful Christmas gift you bought the boys. 737 00:48:54,942 --> 00:48:57,403 My nipples are so hard. 738 00:48:58,238 --> 00:49:00,240 I think I can fix these. 739 00:49:06,747 --> 00:49:08,373 Sweet Jesus. 740 00:49:10,500 --> 00:49:11,586 Your turn. 741 00:49:12,795 --> 00:49:14,255 Oh, yeah! 742 00:49:14,339 --> 00:49:15,882 No, no, no. 743 00:49:18,052 --> 00:49:19,095 Him. 744 00:49:23,431 --> 00:49:24,641 Kiss. 745 00:49:24,724 --> 00:49:27,144 Dude, no. 746 00:49:27,227 --> 00:49:30,648 - Wait. What? - You want more? 747 00:49:30,732 --> 00:49:33,234 We want more. Go get him, tiger. 748 00:49:33,318 --> 00:49:36,112 - You're gonna love it. - Do it for us. 749 00:49:39,242 --> 00:49:41,284 Okay, dude. 750 00:49:43,412 --> 00:49:45,372 One, two... 751 00:49:46,748 --> 00:49:48,667 three. 752 00:49:48,918 --> 00:49:51,839 - That doesn't even count. - That totally counted. 753 00:49:51,922 --> 00:49:54,424 - That's how you kiss your mother. - Don't you say anything! 754 00:49:54,674 --> 00:49:57,678 Make it real. You do that... 755 00:49:57,762 --> 00:50:00,012 we'll do anything you want. 756 00:50:00,096 --> 00:50:01,473 Anything? 757 00:50:01,556 --> 00:50:02,975 Anything. 758 00:50:06,145 --> 00:50:08,939 - You better like it. - Promise. 759 00:50:09,023 --> 00:50:10,943 I wouldn't lie. 760 00:50:17,826 --> 00:50:20,410 That is what I'm talking about. 761 00:50:20,493 --> 00:50:23,372 Kev, you can look. 762 00:50:27,377 --> 00:50:29,255 That's it. 763 00:50:29,338 --> 00:50:31,130 Where's your tongue? 764 00:50:36,763 --> 00:50:38,265 Good boys. 765 00:50:38,348 --> 00:50:41,142 - Very good. - Dude, you're a fucking lousy kisser. 766 00:50:41,225 --> 00:50:43,185 What? I wasn't trying! 767 00:50:43,269 --> 00:50:45,145 That's not fair! 768 00:50:45,229 --> 00:50:47,231 I wasn't trying there! 769 00:50:47,315 --> 00:50:49,026 No judgment. 770 00:50:49,985 --> 00:50:51,903 Wait a second. You were trying? 771 00:50:51,988 --> 00:50:54,448 - Fuck no! - You were trying! 772 00:50:55,783 --> 00:50:59,369 - I kissed Jim! - Silence! 773 00:50:59,453 --> 00:51:01,581 - Ladies. - Yes? 774 00:51:01,664 --> 00:51:03,750 As you were. 775 00:51:05,543 --> 00:51:07,503 - Here we go. - Let's do it. 776 00:51:22,374 --> 00:51:24,919 - Honey, come on. Food's ready. - I'm not hungry! 777 00:51:27,797 --> 00:51:30,507 - Oh, God. - It was worth it. 778 00:51:32,344 --> 00:51:35,848 - I want more. - Hell, yeah. I want more too, baby. 779 00:51:37,724 --> 00:51:41,896 We're gonna get more physical as soon as we get some... 780 00:51:43,313 --> 00:51:45,733 - Hand jobs. - Okay! 781 00:51:47,610 --> 00:51:48,946 Hand jobs. 782 00:51:50,864 --> 00:51:54,159 You do him. We love to watch. 783 00:51:55,411 --> 00:51:56,494 I'm sorry? 784 00:51:56,578 --> 00:51:58,747 - You go. - We go. 785 00:52:03,544 --> 00:52:05,462 Don't be a wimp. 786 00:52:08,759 --> 00:52:11,219 Okay. It's okay. 787 00:52:11,303 --> 00:52:13,181 I know what I have to do. 788 00:52:13,890 --> 00:52:16,265 I need to keep this party goin'. 789 00:52:17,350 --> 00:52:19,603 I'm takin' one for the team. 790 00:52:20,688 --> 00:52:22,107 Mother of God! 791 00:52:22,190 --> 00:52:23,774 Come on, you pussies! We had 'em! 792 00:52:23,858 --> 00:52:26,528 - I am not touching that. - Put that thing away, Stifler. 793 00:52:26,612 --> 00:52:29,864 Why can't you guys be team players, huh? 794 00:52:29,947 --> 00:52:31,868 I was the one doin' all the sacrificing'. 795 00:52:32,764 --> 00:52:34,516 Now, wait just a minute. 796 00:52:34,600 --> 00:52:37,519 Stifler wanted to give you two hand jobs? 797 00:52:37,602 --> 00:52:41,440 No. Stifler wanted one from us. 798 00:52:41,523 --> 00:52:43,441 What? Bullshit. 799 00:52:43,525 --> 00:52:45,319 He did. And it was horrible. 800 00:52:45,403 --> 00:52:47,114 Very horrible. 801 00:52:47,197 --> 00:52:49,658 You guys, you wanna play some ''asshole''? 802 00:52:49,741 --> 00:52:52,411 Just watching the game, Kev. 803 00:52:52,494 --> 00:52:54,580 I just wanna do something together. 804 00:52:54,661 --> 00:52:58,959 We just did something together. Very together. 805 00:52:59,043 --> 00:53:02,004 Ho, ho, ho. Stifler Claus is here. 806 00:53:02,087 --> 00:53:04,966 Now, just so there's no confusion... 807 00:53:05,049 --> 00:53:08,469 Santa Porn has just brought us some heterosexual entertainment. 808 00:53:10,180 --> 00:53:11,098 Here you go. 809 00:53:12,266 --> 00:53:14,103 All right. Here. 810 00:53:14,183 --> 00:53:16,937 And the Stifmeister's provided us some complimentary lubricant. 811 00:53:17,020 --> 00:53:18,980 Whack away, Jim. 812 00:53:19,064 --> 00:53:20,857 Does this stuff really make a difference? 813 00:53:20,941 --> 00:53:23,737 - Oh, yeah! - Really? 814 00:53:29,451 --> 00:53:31,871 Stifmeister's palace of love... 815 00:53:31,954 --> 00:53:33,540 straight love. 816 00:53:34,706 --> 00:53:37,584 Oh, hey. Yeah, I'm fine. 817 00:53:37,667 --> 00:53:39,378 - How about you? - That's Stifler's mom. 818 00:53:39,462 --> 00:53:40,879 Silence. 819 00:53:40,963 --> 00:53:42,965 I didn't really think you were gonna be in Michigan this summer. 820 00:53:43,049 --> 00:53:45,052 Yeah, you're more than welcome to be here. 821 00:53:45,135 --> 00:53:48,555 Okay, stop by in a couple of weeks. We're having a big party. 822 00:53:48,639 --> 00:53:50,266 Okay, bye. 823 00:53:50,349 --> 00:53:51,725 Stifler, was that... 824 00:53:55,270 --> 00:53:56,855 She's coming. 825 00:54:01,569 --> 00:54:03,654 Stifler's mom is coming here. 826 00:54:06,741 --> 00:54:08,786 Efforts must be doubled. 827 00:54:10,163 --> 00:54:12,165 ''Efforts must be doubled.'' 828 00:54:14,541 --> 00:54:15,876 Absolutely. 829 00:54:23,344 --> 00:54:25,262 Jenny, where'd you put my clarinet? 830 00:54:25,345 --> 00:54:27,848 - I think I shoved it in your box. - Thanks. 831 00:54:27,932 --> 00:54:31,977 Bad man. I'm a bad, bad man. 832 00:54:35,816 --> 00:54:37,817 Jim, what are you doing here? 833 00:54:37,900 --> 00:54:40,361 Well, I thought you had said... 834 00:54:40,444 --> 00:54:43,365 You can't just stand out here. 835 00:54:43,448 --> 00:54:47,329 Loo, l need your help. 836 00:54:47,412 --> 00:54:51,540 Nadia's coming back and I don't... 837 00:54:51,623 --> 00:54:53,709 I don't wanna be this awkward... 838 00:54:53,792 --> 00:54:56,881 bumbling, nervous guy with her. 839 00:54:56,964 --> 00:54:58,548 I don't wanna seem like a dork. 840 00:54:58,632 --> 00:55:00,842 Well, I know that feeling. 841 00:55:00,926 --> 00:55:03,054 Spend your life playing in the band... 842 00:55:03,137 --> 00:55:07,183 it doesn't exactly give you the ultra-cool hipster image. 843 00:55:07,266 --> 00:55:10,936 - I think you're pretty cool. - Seriously? 844 00:55:15,316 --> 00:55:18,695 Michele, why did you ditch me after prom? 845 00:55:18,779 --> 00:55:22,783 I didn't ditch you. I just... 846 00:55:22,867 --> 00:55:24,326 Our date was over. 847 00:55:25,202 --> 00:55:27,455 I mean, did you want some... 848 00:55:27,539 --> 00:55:30,126 funky, weird, next-morning goodbye? 849 00:55:31,917 --> 00:55:35,546 It's not like I wanted you to pretend you were in love with me or something. 850 00:55:35,630 --> 00:55:37,507 Why would I pretend that? 851 00:55:37,590 --> 00:55:39,301 Guys do that. 852 00:55:40,636 --> 00:55:44,265 Yeah, well, I'm not like other guys. 853 00:55:45,308 --> 00:55:47,018 I know. 854 00:55:47,102 --> 00:55:50,228 Okay, I'm gonna help you. 855 00:55:50,312 --> 00:55:52,232 Really? 856 00:55:52,315 --> 00:55:55,027 Yeah, I feel bad for saying that you sucked... 857 00:55:55,110 --> 00:55:58,155 even though you kind of did. 858 00:56:02,910 --> 00:56:04,829 Let's just get started. 859 00:56:05,914 --> 00:56:08,418 - Now, I'm a hot girl. - Right. 860 00:56:08,501 --> 00:56:11,419 - Okay, what do you wanna do? - I wanna feel your boobs. 861 00:56:11,502 --> 00:56:13,547 No, you dingbat. 862 00:56:13,630 --> 00:56:16,008 You don't just go groping away. 863 00:56:16,550 --> 00:56:19,762 You gotta preheat the oven before you stick in the turkey. 864 00:56:23,307 --> 00:56:24,851 Kiss me, here. 865 00:56:31,066 --> 00:56:33,109 Good. Okay, now... 866 00:56:33,192 --> 00:56:34,737 the collarbone... kiss. 867 00:56:39,492 --> 00:56:42,078 Good, Jim. 868 00:56:42,161 --> 00:56:43,664 You're making me wet. 869 00:56:43,747 --> 00:56:45,123 Holy shit. Really? 870 00:56:45,207 --> 00:56:47,376 No, I was just saying that so you could practise. 871 00:56:49,210 --> 00:56:50,712 Of course. 872 00:57:11,318 --> 00:57:15,865 Does direction matter, like clockwise, counter clockwise? 873 00:57:15,948 --> 00:57:18,410 Okay, Jim, this is what I'm talking about. 874 00:57:18,493 --> 00:57:22,789 Your main problem is you're so uptight. 875 00:57:23,999 --> 00:57:27,460 Do I seem uptight about my sexual stuff? No. 876 00:57:27,544 --> 00:57:30,757 The biggest pointer I could give you is... 877 00:57:30,840 --> 00:57:35,386 you have to feel comfortable in any situation. 878 00:57:35,469 --> 00:57:36,847 Stand up. 879 00:57:37,764 --> 00:57:38,682 Stand up. 880 00:57:40,059 --> 00:57:43,770 - Now, this is a fucked-up situation. - What happened to preheating? 881 00:57:43,854 --> 00:57:46,483 - We're skipping a few chapters. - Oh, okay. 882 00:57:46,566 --> 00:57:50,319 This is good. This is good. Obviously. 883 00:57:51,821 --> 00:57:55,199 - Gilligan's island, Mr Howell. - What? 884 00:57:55,282 --> 00:57:59,162 You've got to control yourself and think of something nonsexual. 885 00:57:59,247 --> 00:58:02,791 I haven't even touched you yet, and you're turning into the Sears Tower. 886 00:58:02,875 --> 00:58:05,754 I'm sorry. Yeah, nonsexual. 887 00:58:05,838 --> 00:58:08,463 Right, right. Okay. 888 00:58:08,547 --> 00:58:11,384 - Chairs. - Good. 889 00:58:14,220 --> 00:58:15,389 Mastodons. 890 00:58:18,058 --> 00:58:20,310 Cleaning my bathroom. 891 00:58:21,478 --> 00:58:23,523 Dung beetles. 892 00:58:24,023 --> 00:58:26,108 Okay. Now, don't freak out. 893 00:58:26,191 --> 00:58:29,237 I'm gonna do something to push your threshold. 894 00:58:29,320 --> 00:58:31,156 Oh, that's cold! What are you doing? 895 00:58:31,823 --> 00:58:34,952 I just shoved a trumpet in your ass. Aren't instruments fun? 896 00:58:35,411 --> 00:58:38,498 Okay, I think you've just crossed my threshold. 897 00:58:48,174 --> 00:58:51,928 Call me in two weeks. I'll be home then. We can finish lessons. 898 00:58:58,435 --> 00:59:00,522 Pointer... less tongue. 899 00:59:08,009 --> 00:59:11,178 - What is it? A guest book? - Yeah, and look at this entry. 900 00:59:11,262 --> 00:59:13,974 ''Best thing was the blow-out at Tom Myers' place. 901 00:59:14,057 --> 00:59:16,476 - There he is. - A night not soon to be forgotten. 902 00:59:16,560 --> 00:59:19,187 August '93.'' It's your brother, man. Look. 903 00:59:19,270 --> 00:59:21,148 Yeah, his cottage was right down on the beach. 904 00:59:21,232 --> 00:59:24,818 Guys, this is what our party's gotta be. 905 00:59:24,902 --> 00:59:27,655 - Something we'll always remember. - Yes, definitely. 906 00:59:27,738 --> 00:59:29,324 Absolutely. 907 00:59:30,908 --> 00:59:33,578 - You go fish. - Finch, we're playing gin. 908 00:59:37,583 --> 00:59:38,584 Gin. 909 01:00:30,097 --> 01:00:31,516 What the fuck? 910 01:01:11,227 --> 01:01:12,186 ''Dear Jim. 911 01:01:14,272 --> 01:01:18,026 Chicago is beautiful, but it would be better if you were here. 912 01:01:18,109 --> 01:01:20,987 I'm counting the days. Love, Nadia.'' 913 01:01:23,907 --> 01:01:26,410 Well, I wish you were here, Nadia. 914 01:01:54,524 --> 01:01:58,071 - Have you been dirty? - Oh, yes, baby. I?ve been dirty. 915 01:02:00,154 --> 01:02:02,073 Do you want me to clean you? 916 01:02:02,156 --> 01:02:05,870 ''Apply a few drops to achieve desired lubrication.'' 917 01:02:05,954 --> 01:02:07,663 All right. 918 01:02:11,792 --> 01:02:15,338 I that a loofah, or are you just glad to see me? 919 01:02:15,421 --> 01:02:17,341 What the hell. 920 01:02:36,153 --> 01:02:37,947 Shit. 921 01:02:42,118 --> 01:02:44,454 God! 922 01:02:44,537 --> 01:02:46,622 I been missin' out. 923 01:03:04,975 --> 01:03:06,811 Oh, shit! 924 01:03:12,943 --> 01:03:14,111 Shit! 925 01:03:20,327 --> 01:03:23,078 - Everybody okay? - I'm fine. 926 01:03:23,163 --> 01:03:24,872 I'm fine. Everything's fine. 927 01:03:24,955 --> 01:03:27,751 Shut the fuck up or I'll break down this door and pummel your ass! 928 01:03:27,835 --> 01:03:31,672 No, don't come in here. I'm fine. I just fell out of the bed. 929 01:03:31,755 --> 01:03:33,674 - You sure? - Okay, good night, then. 930 01:03:33,758 --> 01:03:35,719 - 'Night. - We'll see you in the morning. 931 01:03:49,734 --> 01:03:51,068 Oh, shit! 932 01:04:16,261 --> 01:04:18,432 - Poison control. - Hello? 933 01:04:23,060 --> 01:04:25,272 Yeah, I kind of... 934 01:04:25,355 --> 01:04:27,192 Super Glued myself... 935 01:04:27,275 --> 01:04:30,069 to myself. 936 01:04:30,570 --> 01:04:32,322 No, no! 937 01:04:33,115 --> 01:04:35,075 Don't send an ambulance. 938 01:04:35,158 --> 01:04:39,246 Look, is there anything, you know, around the house? 939 01:04:42,958 --> 01:04:44,835 Paint thinner. 940 01:05:40,980 --> 01:05:42,273 Shit. 941 01:05:48,823 --> 01:05:51,618 Don't move! Stay where you are! 942 01:05:51,701 --> 01:05:54,160 Hands where we can see 'em! 943 01:05:54,243 --> 01:05:56,830 Both hands! Get the other hand up, God damn it! 944 01:05:58,374 --> 01:06:00,793 I can't! I can't! I'm glued! 945 01:06:00,876 --> 01:06:02,837 I'm glued! 946 01:06:03,421 --> 01:06:04,923 Sorry. 947 01:06:05,008 --> 01:06:07,926 Relax your hands. 948 01:06:08,010 --> 01:06:10,930 I'll take it from here, okay? 949 01:06:11,014 --> 01:06:12,972 Don't worry, Jimbo. You're gonna be fine, buddy. 950 01:06:13,056 --> 01:06:15,685 Jim, this happens to the best of us. 951 01:06:20,773 --> 01:06:23,610 Left foot first. Easy does it. Good. 952 01:06:23,693 --> 01:06:27,365 - Watch your head. - All right. Take a seat. 953 01:06:29,325 --> 01:06:31,703 Excuse me, sir. Are you a family member? 954 01:06:31,786 --> 01:06:34,329 Fuck, no! This is just too good to miss! 955 01:06:34,413 --> 01:06:37,291 Okay, sir, you're just gonna have to wait here. All right? 956 01:06:44,592 --> 01:06:46,760 This summer's turned out to be great. 957 01:06:59,773 --> 01:07:02,590 - How you doin', son? - I've been better. 958 01:07:05,864 --> 01:07:08,451 Boy, that doesn't look too bad, Jim. 959 01:07:08,534 --> 01:07:10,662 Good job, Doctor. 960 01:07:10,746 --> 01:07:13,957 The swelling should subside in about eight or nine days. 961 01:07:14,040 --> 01:07:15,667 Eight or nine... 962 01:07:17,169 --> 01:07:20,005 Beach party's in a week. Nadia's coming. 963 01:07:24,010 --> 01:07:27,680 Doctor, my son has a party in seven days... 964 01:07:27,764 --> 01:07:29,808 and there's a young lady coming... 965 01:07:29,892 --> 01:07:32,059 that he's been waiting to... 966 01:07:33,894 --> 01:07:36,190 he's been waiting to get with. 967 01:07:36,274 --> 01:07:39,734 I'd tell your son to keep his pants on during that party. 968 01:07:39,818 --> 01:07:43,698 Oh, yes. Believe me, I will be doing that. It goes without saying. 969 01:07:43,781 --> 01:07:46,367 But if his pants... 970 01:07:46,451 --> 01:07:48,621 decide to come off during the party... 971 01:07:48,704 --> 01:07:51,789 could he have full use of his... 972 01:07:54,459 --> 01:07:55,544 penis? 973 01:07:55,628 --> 01:07:57,212 Okay. 974 01:07:59,883 --> 01:08:02,134 This should shave a couple of days off. 975 01:08:02,218 --> 01:08:04,846 Oh, good. 976 01:08:04,929 --> 01:08:06,974 Thank you, Doctor. 977 01:08:07,057 --> 01:08:09,435 Jim... 978 01:08:09,519 --> 01:08:12,312 that's good news. 979 01:08:12,395 --> 01:08:15,983 This has been a good-news day, son. Here. Put this on. 980 01:08:16,067 --> 01:08:17,609 Little chilly out there. 981 01:08:20,029 --> 01:08:22,115 Well, here we are. 982 01:08:22,866 --> 01:08:24,910 You know, Jim... 983 01:08:24,994 --> 01:08:28,706 I think we should keep your mother in the dark about the incident tonight. 984 01:08:28,789 --> 01:08:32,167 I think the whole glue thing might get her a little queasy. 985 01:08:32,251 --> 01:08:35,796 I don't know how I get myself into these things. 986 01:08:39,926 --> 01:08:41,595 But thanks for understanding. 987 01:08:41,678 --> 01:08:44,305 You've been really cool. 988 01:08:44,389 --> 01:08:46,433 I mean, between this and... 989 01:08:46,517 --> 01:08:48,270 you know... 990 01:08:50,353 --> 01:08:54,400 You know, you may be Jimbo or Jumbo... 991 01:08:54,483 --> 01:08:57,612 or Jimbodinny to these guys in here, but... 992 01:08:57,695 --> 01:09:00,365 I want you to know there are two people... 993 01:09:00,448 --> 01:09:03,911 who still remember where James Emanuel Levenstein came from. 994 01:09:05,787 --> 01:09:08,957 We're awful proud of you, son. 995 01:09:09,041 --> 01:09:10,876 Thanks, Dad. 996 01:09:11,878 --> 01:09:13,504 Don't forget your penis cream. 997 01:09:33,985 --> 01:09:36,112 That was it. 998 01:09:36,195 --> 01:09:40,117 Right there. That was a pure tantric moment. 999 01:09:40,200 --> 01:09:44,080 The fiicus, the water... it was all erotic. 1000 01:09:44,164 --> 01:09:48,958 One more stimulant, I would have had full release. 1001 01:09:49,042 --> 01:09:53,214 Finch, stay the fuck away from that fiicus. 1002 01:09:53,298 --> 01:09:54,966 That's a jizz-free fiicus. 1003 01:09:57,303 --> 01:10:01,473 There he is. Morning, Jimbo. How's the twig and giggleberries, man? 1004 01:10:01,557 --> 01:10:04,936 Oh, very colourful. My dick looks like a paint-by-numbers. 1005 01:10:07,104 --> 01:10:09,941 You're the only guy I know whose dick needs an instruction manual. 1006 01:10:15,154 --> 01:10:17,032 Casa de Stifler. 1007 01:10:21,412 --> 01:10:24,248 You're here now? No, that's cool. 1008 01:10:24,332 --> 01:10:26,959 You know, if you want to hang out with these guys. 1009 01:10:27,042 --> 01:10:29,295 Okay, then. I'll meet you out front. 1010 01:10:32,381 --> 01:10:35,301 - Hey, Stifler, was that... - Eat shit, Shitbreak. 1011 01:10:38,807 --> 01:10:39,806 She's here. 1012 01:10:42,185 --> 01:10:44,855 My lady has arrived. 1013 01:10:47,230 --> 01:10:49,943 - I gotta prepare. - Here we go. 1014 01:10:50,026 --> 01:10:53,196 - Great. Stifler's mom is here? - This could be a disaster. 1015 01:10:56,493 --> 01:10:59,078 Not unless Stifler's mom drives a moped. 1016 01:10:59,161 --> 01:11:00,204 Moped? 1017 01:11:03,751 --> 01:11:07,253 Fuckers, fuckers, fuckers. How you doin', boys? 1018 01:11:07,337 --> 01:11:10,716 - That's Stifler's little brother. - What are you doing here? 1019 01:11:10,799 --> 01:11:13,302 Pussy, man. I'm here for the pussy. 1020 01:11:13,385 --> 01:11:15,180 Take a number. 1021 01:11:15,263 --> 01:11:18,808 Gentlemen, why all the noise? Everybody knows this is my special day. 1022 01:11:18,892 --> 01:11:21,561 - What is that? - Is that a fuckin' dress? 1023 01:11:21,644 --> 01:11:26,274 - Are you wearing a dress? - Shitbreak, meet my little brother. 1024 01:11:26,357 --> 01:11:28,109 Little brother, meet Shitbreak. 1025 01:11:29,320 --> 01:11:31,530 - That's your brother? - Yes. 1026 01:11:34,367 --> 01:11:36,036 My lady's not coming. 1027 01:11:37,954 --> 01:11:42,960 So my entire stockpile is wasted... 1028 01:11:43,044 --> 01:11:45,378 and I look ridiculous! 1029 01:11:46,880 --> 01:11:48,465 Excuse me. 1030 01:11:53,889 --> 01:11:56,266 - That didn't look too good. - No. 1031 01:11:56,349 --> 01:12:01,355 - Let's go find your room. - So, where are the fuckin' females? 1032 01:12:04,232 --> 01:12:06,736 I can't believe I finally got you alone. 1033 01:12:06,819 --> 01:12:08,904 That only took, what, six weeks? 1034 01:12:10,072 --> 01:12:12,742 So, are you alone too? 1035 01:12:12,826 --> 01:12:15,328 - Yep. - Good. 1036 01:12:15,412 --> 01:12:19,082 I'm all alone. 1037 01:12:19,165 --> 01:12:21,960 Guess what I had in mind? 1038 01:12:25,214 --> 01:12:27,675 Hey, Marco, can you get your balls off me? 1039 01:12:28,802 --> 01:12:32,596 - What the hell's going on over there? - Nothing. 1040 01:12:32,763 --> 01:12:34,933 It's just my flatmates. 1041 01:12:35,017 --> 01:12:36,851 I guess this is kind of a lost cause, huh? 1042 01:12:36,935 --> 01:12:39,022 - Yeah, I guess so. - See ya this weekend? 1043 01:12:39,105 --> 01:12:41,191 - I can't wait. - I can't wait either. 1044 01:12:41,274 --> 01:12:42,440 Bye-bye. 1045 01:12:47,363 --> 01:12:50,116 - Surprise! - Holy... Nadia! 1046 01:12:50,199 --> 01:12:53,620 You're here? You're here. What are you doing here? 1047 01:12:53,704 --> 01:12:55,663 Jim, I got so tired of sightseeing. 1048 01:12:55,746 --> 01:12:58,083 But you're... you're early. 1049 01:12:58,167 --> 01:13:01,920 Okay. Nice to know you. 1050 01:13:02,004 --> 01:13:04,632 - I will leave. - No! 1051 01:13:04,715 --> 01:13:08,177 No. Don't... Don't leave. 1052 01:13:08,260 --> 01:13:10,305 Don't leave. No leaving. 1053 01:13:13,851 --> 01:13:17,687 It's just, I'm not gonna be ready... 1054 01:13:17,771 --> 01:13:21,858 I mean, the party won't be ready until Saturday. 1055 01:13:23,443 --> 01:13:25,905 I can stay here until then? 1056 01:13:25,988 --> 01:13:27,574 Yeah. 1057 01:13:28,741 --> 01:13:30,911 I'm gonna be right back. Is that okay? 1058 01:13:30,994 --> 01:13:33,581 - Okay. - Nadia... 1059 01:13:33,665 --> 01:13:37,168 who's in my room. Now. Holy shit. 1060 01:13:38,503 --> 01:13:40,548 all right, I?ve got a plan. 1061 01:13:40,628 --> 01:13:43,215 Okay. How about I come back with you... 1062 01:13:43,299 --> 01:13:44,925 and you say... 1063 01:13:45,009 --> 01:13:47,261 ''Hello, this is Michele, my girlfriend.'' 1064 01:13:47,345 --> 01:13:50,891 And obviously, Nadia won't expect you to hop in the sack. 1065 01:13:50,975 --> 01:13:54,561 And then we break up the day of the party. 1066 01:13:54,644 --> 01:13:56,689 And you're all healed and back on the market. 1067 01:13:58,107 --> 01:14:00,650 - You're evil. - No way! 1068 01:14:00,735 --> 01:14:02,863 I'm like Cupid. 1069 01:14:02,946 --> 01:14:05,448 And I know how to make a girl jealous. 1070 01:14:05,531 --> 01:14:07,325 This is gonna be fun. 1071 01:14:07,617 --> 01:14:09,411 I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner... 1072 01:14:09,495 --> 01:14:11,914 but we just started seeing each other a few weeks ago. 1073 01:14:14,876 --> 01:14:18,130 But I'd really love it if you stayed here. 1074 01:14:18,213 --> 01:14:21,048 I think you should stay and have fun at the party. 1075 01:14:21,132 --> 01:14:24,719 Good for you, Jim. Of course I will stay. 1076 01:14:24,803 --> 01:14:27,764 That's great... That's my nipples! 1077 01:14:27,847 --> 01:14:30,642 She just loves my nipples. 1078 01:16:04,745 --> 01:16:06,080 - Oh, my God. - You still broken? 1079 01:16:06,956 --> 01:16:08,125 No. 1080 01:16:08,208 --> 01:16:10,252 I'm fine. 1081 01:16:10,335 --> 01:16:13,588 I might have to actually go through with this. 1082 01:16:16,675 --> 01:16:19,428 What's the big deal with Nadia, anyway? 1083 01:16:19,511 --> 01:16:21,348 I mean, okay... 1084 01:16:21,431 --> 01:16:25,143 so she's 50,000 times hotter than most girls... 1085 01:16:25,226 --> 01:16:27,645 but come on, it's just sex. 1086 01:16:28,438 --> 01:16:29,606 Oh, no. 1087 01:16:29,689 --> 01:16:31,984 You saw the thing on the Internet. 1088 01:16:32,067 --> 01:16:34,321 Did it look like I might have had... 1089 01:16:34,404 --> 01:16:37,072 a slight interest in Nadia then? 1090 01:16:38,824 --> 01:16:40,743 Add another year to that. 1091 01:16:40,826 --> 01:16:42,995 Okay. 1092 01:16:43,079 --> 01:16:46,626 Hey, why don't you bring Nadia to the concert first? 1093 01:16:46,709 --> 01:16:48,544 It'll be a cool date. 1094 01:16:49,544 --> 01:16:51,463 We'll see how things go. 1095 01:16:56,552 --> 01:17:00,348 Michele, you have been great. 1096 01:17:00,431 --> 01:17:02,140 Thank you. 1097 01:17:02,224 --> 01:17:03,851 Anytime. 1098 01:17:10,943 --> 01:17:12,737 Come on. 1099 01:17:15,781 --> 01:17:17,992 You ready to break up? 1100 01:17:18,075 --> 01:17:20,412 You big, stupid dummy! 1101 01:17:20,496 --> 01:17:22,788 Theatre is so cool! 1102 01:17:22,872 --> 01:17:26,252 I don't care if you are the best lay I've ever had in my life. 1103 01:17:26,335 --> 01:17:29,463 - I hate your guts anyway. - Don't say that. 1104 01:17:29,547 --> 01:17:34,634 And I don't care if you did give me ten orgasms in a row... 1105 01:17:34,718 --> 01:17:36,679 because you smell really bad. 1106 01:17:39,307 --> 01:17:41,058 I smell really bad! 1107 01:17:41,142 --> 01:17:44,688 Because we've been having so much sex, and... 1108 01:17:44,772 --> 01:17:48,275 and I haven't showered, and I wanna shower! 1109 01:17:49,861 --> 01:17:53,781 So, don't you go being all super sexy guy any more... 1110 01:17:53,865 --> 01:17:56,284 because I am now impervious... 1111 01:17:56,367 --> 01:18:00,121 to your unrelenting machismo and sexual ardour. 1112 01:18:01,038 --> 01:18:04,294 And that includes fucking me in the ass! So there! 1113 01:18:12,010 --> 01:18:14,095 We had something special. 1114 01:18:55,932 --> 01:18:57,851 Vicki. Hey. 1115 01:18:57,935 --> 01:19:01,314 I'm so glad you came. You want something to drink or... 1116 01:19:01,397 --> 01:19:03,233 Can I help you? 1117 01:19:04,651 --> 01:19:05,902 - Kevin. - What? 1118 01:19:05,986 --> 01:19:07,363 That's my date. 1119 01:19:23,005 --> 01:19:25,215 You saved them all. 1120 01:19:25,298 --> 01:19:26,967 How sweet. 1121 01:19:28,052 --> 01:19:29,971 You don't think I'm a dork? 1122 01:19:32,806 --> 01:19:37,228 Whatever you are, Jim, it is what I like. 1123 01:19:39,063 --> 01:19:41,065 Kevin left. Didn't look good. 1124 01:19:41,150 --> 01:19:43,235 Kevin left? 1125 01:19:44,069 --> 01:19:45,737 Just wandered down the beach. 1126 01:19:49,951 --> 01:19:51,868 You okay, Kev? 1127 01:19:55,123 --> 01:19:56,998 Wanna tell us what's up? 1128 01:19:58,709 --> 01:20:00,921 Wanna feel Finch's ass? 1129 01:20:04,466 --> 01:20:07,887 No, I went to say hi to Vicky... 1130 01:20:07,970 --> 01:20:10,764 and she was there with a date. 1131 01:20:10,847 --> 01:20:13,392 You hooked up with three girls this year. You're doing fine. 1132 01:20:13,476 --> 01:20:15,437 Rule of three, Oz. 1133 01:20:21,569 --> 01:20:24,363 I guess I was living in the past... wanting to party with you guys... 1134 01:20:24,446 --> 01:20:26,991 and be with Vicky, just like high school. 1135 01:20:27,075 --> 01:20:29,575 You remember that day after prom? 1136 01:20:29,659 --> 01:20:32,454 You know, we made a toast to the next step. 1137 01:20:33,748 --> 01:20:36,375 I guess I never took it. 1138 01:20:38,587 --> 01:20:41,966 My brother said that by the end of the summer I'd see the big picture. 1139 01:20:42,049 --> 01:20:44,051 And I see it. 1140 01:20:44,134 --> 01:20:47,764 No matter what, times change and things are different. 1141 01:20:47,847 --> 01:20:51,309 The problem is, I don't want them to be. 1142 01:20:51,392 --> 01:20:53,478 You know, Kevin, I haven't moved on either. 1143 01:20:53,561 --> 01:20:55,646 I've been obsessed with the one woman... 1144 01:20:55,729 --> 01:20:57,941 I can't have a real future with... 1145 01:20:58,024 --> 01:21:02,071 other than a very kinky, extremely warped one. 1146 01:21:03,490 --> 01:21:05,825 I got to find a new goddess. 1147 01:21:07,327 --> 01:21:10,705 It's gonna take patience, but I've been celibate all summer. 1148 01:21:10,788 --> 01:21:14,876 - You kinda get used to it, though, huh? - Are you insane? 1149 01:21:17,671 --> 01:21:21,842 Look, Kev, different does not necessarily mean worse. 1150 01:21:21,926 --> 01:21:24,805 As a matter of fact, I think things are just getting better. 1151 01:21:25,305 --> 01:21:28,098 Or am I gonna have to drag your ass back to that party and prove it to you? 1152 01:21:29,349 --> 01:21:30,559 I'll walk. 1153 01:21:47,828 --> 01:21:50,958 You know, you have beautiful eyes. 1154 01:21:51,041 --> 01:21:55,129 - Oh, you're sweet. - That's a really nice top. 1155 01:21:55,212 --> 01:21:58,633 - Oh. Thanks. - You're welcome. 1156 01:21:58,716 --> 01:22:01,970 - Wanna fuck? - Are you serious? 1157 01:22:02,053 --> 01:22:05,182 Come on, baby. Give it to the Stifmeister. 1158 01:22:05,265 --> 01:22:08,143 - I think you better... - Your loss. 1159 01:22:08,226 --> 01:22:11,314 Wow. You know, you have beautiful eyes. 1160 01:22:11,397 --> 01:22:14,983 Come here, dude. You're making an ass out of yourself. 1161 01:22:15,066 --> 01:22:18,487 You're ruining my mojo. And you're not the Stifmeister, okay? 1162 01:22:18,572 --> 01:22:20,949 It takes years to develop true Stifmeister style. 1163 01:22:21,032 --> 01:22:24,329 Come on, man! I just wanna see some boobs. 1164 01:22:24,412 --> 01:22:26,203 - Hey, Pop Tart. - Dream on, midget. 1165 01:22:26,286 --> 01:22:29,749 Excuse him. Come here. Take this. You're on cop watch. 1166 01:22:29,833 --> 01:22:32,711 Go out in the driveway. See any cops, call me, okay? 1167 01:22:32,795 --> 01:22:34,588 All right. 1168 01:22:44,684 --> 01:22:48,646 Gentlemen, this appears to be a party. 1169 01:22:51,566 --> 01:22:55,027 Guys, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go look for Nadia. 1170 01:22:55,111 --> 01:22:56,947 Good luck. 1171 01:23:00,408 --> 01:23:02,535 So what was this year like for you? 1172 01:23:02,620 --> 01:23:04,872 Did you miss high school? 1173 01:23:04,956 --> 01:23:06,956 Well, no. 1174 01:23:07,041 --> 01:23:10,712 When you travel as much as I do, you get used to moving on. 1175 01:23:12,046 --> 01:23:14,466 But I have great memories. 1176 01:23:18,011 --> 01:23:21,099 - Wow, can we go in there? - The lighthouse? 1177 01:23:24,311 --> 01:23:26,144 Yes. 1178 01:23:26,228 --> 01:23:27,980 Yes, we can. 1179 01:23:28,063 --> 01:23:29,982 How romantic. 1180 01:23:32,569 --> 01:23:33,904 Jim, come on. 1181 01:23:50,837 --> 01:23:54,093 It's beautiful! 1182 01:23:54,176 --> 01:23:55,845 Cool! 1183 01:23:58,472 --> 01:24:02,852 Jim, I have told you my memories from high school. 1184 01:24:02,936 --> 01:24:04,687 What are yours? 1185 01:24:10,360 --> 01:24:11,486 You. 1186 01:24:11,569 --> 01:24:13,864 You have not changed. 1187 01:24:18,494 --> 01:24:21,582 Jim, relax. 1188 01:24:21,665 --> 01:24:26,043 We are just, how do you say, tooting our horns. 1189 01:24:27,170 --> 01:24:29,130 Actually, that is quite difficult. 1190 01:24:29,214 --> 01:24:30,424 What do you mean? 1191 01:24:31,300 --> 01:24:34,554 Well, this one time at band camp... 1192 01:24:39,976 --> 01:24:42,104 Holy shit! 1193 01:24:43,396 --> 01:24:45,566 What? Tell me. 1194 01:24:46,899 --> 01:24:50,403 Well, this one time at band camp... 1195 01:24:51,572 --> 01:24:53,658 I got stuck playing this trombone. 1196 01:24:53,741 --> 01:24:56,911 And I can't play anything at all. So I totally sucked. 1197 01:24:56,994 --> 01:24:58,955 And everyone thought I was this Petey guy... 1198 01:24:59,038 --> 01:25:01,709 but I didn't know what to think, so I just kept playing and playing... 1199 01:25:01,792 --> 01:25:03,876 and I didn't know what I was doing. 1200 01:25:03,960 --> 01:25:05,754 It was so funny! 1201 01:25:07,256 --> 01:25:10,341 - I gotta go. - What? Why? 1202 01:25:13,221 --> 01:25:15,139 Please don't take this the wrong way... 1203 01:25:15,222 --> 01:25:17,684 but you're... 1204 01:25:17,767 --> 01:25:20,856 you're everything that I used to want. 1205 01:25:20,939 --> 01:25:24,024 And as much as I may really... 1206 01:25:24,107 --> 01:25:27,820 really regret what I'm about to do... 1207 01:25:29,279 --> 01:25:31,199 there's somebody else I want to be with. 1208 01:25:31,283 --> 01:25:34,327 You want the band geek? 1209 01:25:34,409 --> 01:25:35,620 Nadia... 1210 01:25:36,663 --> 01:25:38,624 I am a band geek. 1211 01:25:40,001 --> 01:25:42,794 I just never joined the band. 1212 01:25:47,549 --> 01:25:49,468 You go get your geek. 1213 01:25:51,137 --> 01:25:52,973 Someday I will find mine. 1214 01:26:11,826 --> 01:26:15,122 Hey. Kevin Myers. 1215 01:26:15,205 --> 01:26:17,416 Hi. Sorry I was a dick before. 1216 01:26:17,500 --> 01:26:20,334 It's okay, man. My name's Brett. 1217 01:26:20,418 --> 01:26:23,255 - Can you give us a sec? - Sure. 1218 01:26:24,674 --> 01:26:26,842 Look, you don't have to do this. 1219 01:26:26,925 --> 01:26:29,429 Maybe I was being selfish... 1220 01:26:29,512 --> 01:26:32,932 in wanting to be your friend. 1221 01:26:33,016 --> 01:26:35,685 Maybe it's just not gonna work. 1222 01:26:35,769 --> 01:26:39,356 I would much rather have you as a friend than not have you in my life at all. 1223 01:26:52,704 --> 01:26:54,666 Party on! 1224 01:27:00,212 --> 01:27:03,799 - From the lighthouse all the way... - Hey, handsome. 1225 01:27:10,850 --> 01:27:12,434 What are you doing here? 1226 01:27:12,517 --> 01:27:14,896 I was gonna pick you up at the airport in two hours. 1227 01:27:14,979 --> 01:27:17,274 I took an earlier flight, and I thought I'd surprise you. 1228 01:27:17,357 --> 01:27:21,234 - Yeah, you did. - Kinda weird without the phone, huh? 1229 01:27:21,318 --> 01:27:23,571 We'll get used to it. 1230 01:27:23,655 --> 01:27:26,992 Come on. I wanna hear all about it. We'll grab you a drink. 1231 01:27:27,910 --> 01:27:30,621 Steve, this cop-watch thing is horseshit. 1232 01:27:30,704 --> 01:27:32,164 Hello? 1233 01:27:33,958 --> 01:27:36,503 Man, this sucks. 1234 01:27:36,587 --> 01:27:38,420 Who is it out there? 1235 01:27:41,590 --> 01:27:44,260 It's the Stifmeister, baby. 1236 01:27:44,343 --> 01:27:45,971 I that so? 1237 01:27:50,601 --> 01:27:52,979 Life's a bitch, isn't it? 1238 01:27:55,231 --> 01:27:58,526 It's all right. You don't have to say anything. 1239 01:27:58,609 --> 01:28:01,029 I'm used to girls ignoring me. 1240 01:28:01,113 --> 01:28:03,032 Or making fun of me. 1241 01:28:03,115 --> 01:28:05,199 ''Come on, Sherman. Be the Sherminator.'' 1242 01:28:06,868 --> 01:28:09,914 Like the movie. How clever. 1243 01:28:09,998 --> 01:28:11,958 I get it, okay? 1244 01:28:13,710 --> 01:28:15,171 Maybe I am a geek. 1245 01:28:15,254 --> 01:28:17,796 Whatever. 1246 01:28:19,966 --> 01:28:22,970 Yes! Yes, you are! 1247 01:28:25,472 --> 01:28:27,058 All right. 1248 01:28:29,227 --> 01:28:32,939 I am the Sherminator. 1249 01:28:33,023 --> 01:28:36,525 A sophisticated sex robot sent back through time... 1250 01:28:36,609 --> 01:28:39,154 to change the future for one lucky lady. 1251 01:28:40,113 --> 01:28:42,116 I am lucky lady? 1252 01:28:42,199 --> 01:28:44,200 That's right, Nadia. 1253 01:28:44,284 --> 01:28:46,954 You've been targeted for Shermination. 1254 01:28:47,038 --> 01:28:49,707 Come with me if you want to live. 1255 01:28:53,294 --> 01:28:54,046 Help! 1256 01:28:58,466 --> 01:29:00,845 - Fuck me, geek! - Affirmative! 1257 01:29:00,928 --> 01:29:03,388 No fuckin' way! 1258 01:29:09,604 --> 01:29:12,817 - Forget it. - Like you have a chance. 1259 01:29:28,124 --> 01:29:29,876 Cheers, bud. 1260 01:29:35,590 --> 01:29:38,552 Hey, Steve, look what I found. 1261 01:29:38,635 --> 01:29:41,138 - Dude, don't touch the shirt. - Just look. 1262 01:29:44,142 --> 01:29:45,102 - Hi. - Hey, there. 1263 01:29:45,561 --> 01:29:48,396 Brilliant. You found lesbians. 1264 01:29:49,857 --> 01:29:52,401 Good luck trying to break through that force field. 1265 01:29:52,484 --> 01:29:55,820 - Lesbians? - We never said that. 1266 01:30:01,869 --> 01:30:04,456 - What? - We never said that. 1267 01:30:08,085 --> 01:30:09,796 Oh, man. 1268 01:30:10,880 --> 01:30:14,757 I will do anything... anything... to sleep with you chicks. 1269 01:30:14,840 --> 01:30:19,305 Okay? I'll grab every guy's ass in this room. 1270 01:30:19,389 --> 01:30:22,559 I'll caress it, even. I'll shave some ass if they need it. 1271 01:30:22,642 --> 01:30:24,896 Oh, yeah. You heard me. 1272 01:30:24,979 --> 01:30:30,026 It's true. I'll kiss everybody here. Dudes, chicks, everybody. 1273 01:30:30,109 --> 01:30:33,862 Because I am comfortable with my sexuality. 1274 01:30:33,945 --> 01:30:35,281 Oh, yeah. 1275 01:30:37,324 --> 01:30:39,827 At least have a drink with the Stifmeister. 1276 01:30:41,287 --> 01:30:43,207 - All right. - That's fair. 1277 01:30:45,000 --> 01:30:46,627 All right. 1278 01:30:49,171 --> 01:30:51,508 You truly are a Stifmeister. 1279 01:30:51,591 --> 01:30:55,720 - Welcome back to the party. - Steve, those are my lesbians. 1280 01:30:55,803 --> 01:30:58,640 - Ladies, I am down with the funky shit. - Like what? 1281 01:30:58,724 --> 01:31:01,059 One time at this party, I was drinking champagne... 1282 01:31:04,187 --> 01:31:05,856 Thank you. Thank you. 1283 01:31:05,940 --> 01:31:09,320 Our next soloist will be Michele Flaherty. 1284 01:31:38,182 --> 01:31:40,018 Petey? 1285 01:31:44,440 --> 01:31:46,693 This kid is killing me. 1286 01:31:49,070 --> 01:31:52,343 - You suck, retard. - I'm not retarded. 1287 01:31:52,489 --> 01:31:54,576 I'm a very special boy. 1288 01:32:11,093 --> 01:32:13,138 How's this for a band camp story? 1289 01:32:24,400 --> 01:32:28,072 Come on, guys. Let's hear it for Petey! 1290 01:33:36,500 --> 01:33:38,711 - Good for them. - It's awesome. 1291 01:33:41,839 --> 01:33:44,425 - Wanna dance? - Yeah. 1292 01:33:44,509 --> 01:33:47,388 We'll be back. Come on now, baby. 1293 01:34:31,748 --> 01:34:34,709 You know, there's only one word for that party. 1294 01:34:35,001 --> 01:34:37,254 - Bitchin'. - Out of control. 1295 01:34:38,924 --> 01:34:41,133 Am I gonna have a hangover? 'Cause I want one. 1296 01:34:48,683 --> 01:34:49,892 Later. 1297 01:34:50,936 --> 01:34:52,604 - Good-bye. - See ya. 1298 01:34:52,687 --> 01:34:55,732 - Let's go to our page. - We have to write about this party. 1299 01:34:55,815 --> 01:34:58,695 This party was crazy! Look at my date! He's passed out! 1300 01:34:58,778 --> 01:35:01,239 - You drank him under the table. - He couldn't hack it. 1301 01:35:40,282 --> 01:35:43,577 - Best summer ever, huh, fellas? - Absolutely. 1302 01:35:43,661 --> 01:35:47,789 - Sorry things didn't work out for you. - You kiddin'? Things are great. 1303 01:35:48,165 --> 01:35:50,418 I have all the time in the world. 1304 01:35:50,501 --> 01:35:52,586 So, are we gonna do this every summer? 1305 01:35:52,669 --> 01:35:55,005 - Hell, yeah, we are. - Of course we are, gentlemen. 1306 01:35:55,089 --> 01:35:56,674 Well, we're gonna try. 1307 01:36:08,062 --> 01:36:10,939 - That's a sweet car. - It is sweet. 1308 01:36:16,904 --> 01:36:19,240 - Stifler's mom. - Hey, Finchy. 1309 01:36:19,324 --> 01:36:21,285 How did you know I was here? 1310 01:36:21,368 --> 01:36:23,578 I called a couple of weeks ago. 1311 01:36:23,661 --> 01:36:26,123 Didn't Steven tell you that I was gonna drop by sometime? 1312 01:36:26,206 --> 01:36:29,001 I guess it slipped his mind. 1313 01:36:30,752 --> 01:36:32,463 What's your name? 1314 01:36:34,633 --> 01:36:35,842 Jeanine. 1315 01:36:38,845 --> 01:36:41,098 Okay, well... 1316 01:36:41,181 --> 01:36:44,434 I've been thinking, and, you know, I'm 19 years old. 1317 01:36:44,517 --> 01:36:48,649 There's a whole world out there. I can't be obsessed with one woman. 1318 01:36:48,732 --> 01:36:52,527 - Just can't be. - I'm glad you're learning, Finchy. 1319 01:36:54,029 --> 01:36:55,822 Good. 1320 01:36:58,993 --> 01:37:02,870 - You want to get it on? - You better clear your schedule. 1321 01:37:06,375 --> 01:37:08,378 See you guys later. 1322 01:37:08,462 --> 01:37:10,505 Where are you goin', man? What about Dog Years? 1323 01:37:10,589 --> 01:37:14,385 Give me, like, three days. 1324 01:37:16,303 --> 01:37:18,556 Wait, was that who I think... 1325 01:37:18,640 --> 01:37:21,018 - No. - Yeah! 1326 01:37:21,101 --> 01:37:23,686 - I think it was. - I think so too. 1327 01:37:26,731 --> 01:37:28,649 Who the hell was that? 1328 01:37:28,732 --> 01:37:30,234 That was... 1329 01:37:30,318 --> 01:37:31,987 That was... Someone was lost. 1330 01:37:32,071 --> 01:37:36,200 - Lookin' for the lake. - Yeah, all turned around. 1331 01:37:36,283 --> 01:37:39,496 What a dumb ass. The lake's right there. 1332 01:37:45,085 --> 01:37:48,838 Incredible. How does Finch get so lucky? 1333 01:37:48,921 --> 01:37:50,924 What are you worried about? You got a girlfriend now. 1334 01:37:51,258 --> 01:37:54,178 Everything in. Let's go. Pony up. Dog Years awaits. 1335 01:37:54,261 --> 01:37:57,348 Yeah, I do. Yeah, I do. 1336 01:37:57,432 --> 01:37:59,518 - I have a girlfriend now. - Yeah, you do. 1337 01:37:59,601 --> 01:38:02,061 - She's my girlfriend. - All right, Jimbo. 1338 01:38:02,144 --> 01:38:04,021 Let's go! Let's go! 1339 01:38:04,105 --> 01:38:05,482 - Where's Shitbreak? - The movies. 1340 01:38:05,565 --> 01:38:07,316 - Took the bus. - Coffee. 1341 01:38:07,400 --> 01:38:09,528 Wait a second. 1342 01:38:09,611 --> 01:38:11,948 Who the fuck was in that car? 1343 01:38:18,830 --> 01:38:20,956 Oh, Finchy, I missed you. 1344 01:38:22,501 --> 01:38:25,712 Oh, Jeanine. Jeanine. 1345 01:38:25,795 --> 01:38:27,631 Call me Stifler's mom. 1346 01:38:29,800 --> 01:38:32,804 Oh, Stifler's mom! 99662

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