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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,057 --> 00:00:02,193 Previously, on "Young Sheldon"... 2 00:00:02,674 --> 00:00:04,621 Checkmate. You lose. 3 00:00:04,884 --> 00:00:08,433 5,730-year half-life of carbon-14 4 00:00:08,518 --> 00:00:09,996 is used as a geochronometer. 5 00:00:10,080 --> 00:00:12,019 Anything else you'd like to add? 6 00:00:12,173 --> 00:00:13,775 I read this magazine. 7 00:00:13,859 --> 00:00:15,606 Why won't you compete with me? 8 00:00:15,775 --> 00:00:17,870 Because it's fun watching you get upset. 9 00:00:17,954 --> 00:00:19,449 What's fun about it? 10 00:00:19,577 --> 00:00:21,365 Everything. 11 00:00:22,960 --> 00:00:24,917 I've never been good at sharing. 12 00:00:25,001 --> 00:00:27,643 - I had to share a womb... - Ow. 13 00:00:27,728 --> 00:00:28,737 Ow. 14 00:00:28,821 --> 00:00:30,217 "Rico Suave" by Gerardo playing over headphones... 15 00:00:30,301 --> 00:00:31,789 ...a bedroom... 16 00:00:32,314 --> 00:00:34,012 ♪ Rico... 17 00:00:38,651 --> 00:00:42,145 Even my train room had Georgie's sweaty weight bench in it. 18 00:00:42,228 --> 00:00:44,417 Come on, George. One more. 19 00:00:44,502 --> 00:00:46,424 Feel the burn, big boy. 20 00:00:46,561 --> 00:00:48,198 Feel the burn. 21 00:00:48,281 --> 00:00:52,293 But when it came to academics, the spotlight was all mine. 22 00:00:52,378 --> 00:00:54,856 Sheldon, having you here has been a real boon 23 00:00:54,939 --> 00:00:56,457 to this university. 24 00:00:56,896 --> 00:00:59,865 I did love basking in its glow. 25 00:00:59,950 --> 00:01:01,911 So we could really use your help 26 00:01:01,994 --> 00:01:04,391 in raising the school's profile even higher. 27 00:01:04,475 --> 00:01:07,394 Of course. My intellect is at your service. 28 00:01:07,478 --> 00:01:08,569 Excellent. 29 00:01:08,653 --> 00:01:10,424 There is another young physics prodigy 30 00:01:10,509 --> 00:01:12,182 we want you to help us recruit. 31 00:01:12,266 --> 00:01:14,051 Her name is Paige Swanson. 32 00:01:16,921 --> 00:01:19,841 ♪ Nobody else is stronger than I am ♪ 33 00:01:19,926 --> 00:01:23,019 ♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain 34 00:01:23,103 --> 00:01:25,674 ♪ I bet I could be your hero 35 00:01:25,757 --> 00:01:28,078 ♪ I am a mighty little man 36 00:01:28,162 --> 00:01:31,682 ♪ I am a mighty little man. ♪ ♪YOUNG SHELDON♪ 37 00:01:31,765 --> 00:01:33,097 Season 04 Episode 16 Aired on: April 29, 2021 38 00:01:33,180 --> 00:01:34,424 Episode Title: "A Second Prodigy and the Hottest Tips for Pouty Lips" 39 00:01:34,509 --> 00:01:36,408 Why would you want Paige to come here? 40 00:01:36,492 --> 00:01:37,585 You know her? 41 00:01:37,668 --> 00:01:38,549 Oh, I know her. 42 00:01:38,633 --> 00:01:39,807 Ah. Wonderful. 43 00:01:39,890 --> 00:01:41,643 Just tell her how much you love the school 44 00:01:41,727 --> 00:01:43,439 and convince her to enroll. 45 00:01:43,524 --> 00:01:45,003 But you don't need another child prodigy. 46 00:01:45,087 --> 00:01:46,143 You've already got me. 47 00:01:46,227 --> 00:01:48,581 And you have been... so great. 48 00:01:48,664 --> 00:01:51,063 Just imagine what it'd be like having two of you. 49 00:01:51,146 --> 00:01:52,631 Well, why would you want two of me? 50 00:01:52,715 --> 00:01:55,463 I mean, I've heard even one of me is a lot to handle. 51 00:01:55,575 --> 00:01:58,276 Well, you're not afraid of a little competition, are you? 52 00:01:58,359 --> 00:01:59,802 From Paige? Hardly. 53 00:01:59,921 --> 00:02:02,737 But I should warn you, she can be very difficult. 54 00:02:03,275 --> 00:02:06,129 Well, luckily I've had some practice with that lately. 55 00:02:06,213 --> 00:02:08,088 And how do you handle it? 56 00:02:09,188 --> 00:02:12,816 Usually I, uh, play to their egos. 57 00:02:12,900 --> 00:02:15,979 You know, make them feel like the smartest person in the room. 58 00:02:16,211 --> 00:02:17,551 And they fall for that? 59 00:02:17,635 --> 00:02:18,962 Well... 60 00:02:19,046 --> 00:02:21,271 Not everyone's as smart as you, Sheldon. 61 00:02:22,670 --> 00:02:25,963 Okay, have a great day. Love you. 62 00:02:26,828 --> 00:02:28,019 Love you, too. 63 00:02:28,103 --> 00:02:29,389 What are you doing? 64 00:02:29,473 --> 00:02:30,712 I learned it in baseball. 65 00:02:30,796 --> 00:02:33,308 When you don't want the other team to see what you're saying. 66 00:02:33,393 --> 00:02:35,800 It's okay to love your mom. 67 00:02:35,884 --> 00:02:38,364 At home. Here, you get the hand. 68 00:02:40,049 --> 00:02:41,372 Hey, Mary. 69 00:02:41,456 --> 00:02:42,909 Oh, Brenda. 70 00:02:42,993 --> 00:02:44,491 Love the haircut. 71 00:02:44,575 --> 00:02:45,762 Thank you. 72 00:02:45,846 --> 00:02:47,449 I was always afraid to go short, 73 00:02:47,533 --> 00:02:49,418 but I figured I already lost a husband. 74 00:02:49,502 --> 00:02:50,792 What's a few inches off the top? 75 00:02:50,876 --> 00:02:53,413 Well, you look like a new person. 76 00:02:53,497 --> 00:02:55,024 I feel like a new person. 77 00:02:55,108 --> 00:02:57,354 I just needed to do something for me. 78 00:02:57,438 --> 00:03:00,605 It was either this or get a tattoo on my thigh. 79 00:03:00,712 --> 00:03:02,795 I think you made the right choice. 80 00:03:02,879 --> 00:03:04,103 Well, I guess. 81 00:03:04,187 --> 00:03:06,236 I mean, who's seeing me naked these days? 82 00:03:07,042 --> 00:03:08,800 Well, I wouldn't know. 83 00:03:16,155 --> 00:03:18,401 Hey, Mary. What are you doing here? 84 00:03:18,485 --> 00:03:20,615 I don't know. I was just out running errands 85 00:03:20,699 --> 00:03:22,621 and thought maybe I'd make an appointment. 86 00:03:22,704 --> 00:03:25,927 Well, chair's free now. Come on, have a seat. 87 00:03:26,012 --> 00:03:28,848 Oh, um, o-okay. 88 00:03:28,931 --> 00:03:31,385 Okay. What can I do for you? 89 00:03:31,469 --> 00:03:34,497 Well, I guess I'm just looking for a change. 90 00:03:34,581 --> 00:03:35,938 Uh-oh. 91 00:03:36,120 --> 00:03:37,519 What's "uh-oh"? 92 00:03:37,603 --> 00:03:39,895 Well, nothing, it's just, when the women come in 93 00:03:39,978 --> 00:03:42,811 looking for a change, it's usually relationship trouble. 94 00:03:42,895 --> 00:03:44,290 Oh... 95 00:03:44,375 --> 00:03:47,079 Well, not me. I'm fine. 96 00:03:47,163 --> 00:03:50,206 Okay, but I got a perm and a divorce in the same week 97 00:03:50,290 --> 00:03:51,918 and I only regret one of them. 98 00:03:53,264 --> 00:03:55,110 Maybe this is a bad idea. I should come back. 99 00:03:55,194 --> 00:03:57,503 No, no, no, no. Come on, you're already here. 100 00:03:57,587 --> 00:03:58,996 Either way, there's nothing wrong 101 00:03:59,079 --> 00:04:00,346 in a little change. 102 00:04:00,430 --> 00:04:02,134 Okay. Uh... 103 00:04:02,408 --> 00:04:04,359 What do you think I should do? 104 00:04:04,533 --> 00:04:06,574 Well, when you look at yourself in the mirror, 105 00:04:06,658 --> 00:04:07,895 who do you see? 106 00:04:07,979 --> 00:04:12,769 I see a mom and... a wife. 107 00:04:12,853 --> 00:04:15,058 Okay, that's the hair you already got. 108 00:04:15,615 --> 00:04:17,800 Who do you want to see? 109 00:04:17,899 --> 00:04:19,904 Oh, um... 110 00:04:21,976 --> 00:04:23,721 Maybe we start with the nails. 111 00:04:23,805 --> 00:04:25,680 - That's a great idea. - Yeah. 112 00:04:25,764 --> 00:04:28,706 So now I'm supposed to talk Paige into coming to my school. 113 00:04:28,790 --> 00:04:30,425 Maybe it'll be nice to have somebody 114 00:04:30,509 --> 00:04:32,090 your own age to hang out with. 115 00:04:32,173 --> 00:04:33,651 Sure, so the next time someone says, 116 00:04:33,735 --> 00:04:35,629 "Hey, look what the kid genius did," people will say, 117 00:04:35,713 --> 00:04:37,086 "Which one? There's so many." 118 00:04:37,502 --> 00:04:39,790 I thought you and that little girl were friends. 119 00:04:39,874 --> 00:04:42,144 Missy's her friend. I'm her rival. 120 00:04:42,454 --> 00:04:44,605 Well, I think you're getting worked up about nothing. 121 00:04:44,689 --> 00:04:47,518 Maybe she won't even decide to come to this school. 122 00:04:47,601 --> 00:04:50,745 Oh, I see where you're going. 123 00:04:50,829 --> 00:04:52,817 I should convince her it's a terrible school. 124 00:04:52,901 --> 00:04:53,874 That's brilliant. 125 00:04:53,957 --> 00:04:55,615 That's not where I was going. 126 00:04:55,699 --> 00:04:57,576 Too late, I'm already there. 127 00:05:02,860 --> 00:05:04,172 What are you doing? 128 00:05:05,139 --> 00:05:07,625 Look at me and tell me what you see. 129 00:05:08,435 --> 00:05:09,971 What? 130 00:05:10,983 --> 00:05:12,697 Did you get a haircut? Looks great. 131 00:05:12,781 --> 00:05:14,293 No, I didn't get a haircut. 132 00:05:14,377 --> 00:05:16,665 'Cause you don't need one. Looking good, babe. 133 00:05:16,750 --> 00:05:17,845 Lord. 134 00:05:17,928 --> 00:05:21,461 Just tell me what you see when you look at me. 135 00:05:23,745 --> 00:05:26,120 I don't know what's going on, but this feels like a trap. 136 00:05:27,031 --> 00:05:29,262 I went to the salon to get a haircut. 137 00:05:29,346 --> 00:05:31,064 Knew it, looking foxy. 138 00:05:31,148 --> 00:05:35,728 But I didn't get one because I don't know what I want. 139 00:05:35,812 --> 00:05:37,098 Oh. 140 00:05:37,182 --> 00:05:39,908 You know who's got good hair? Charlene Tilton. 141 00:05:39,992 --> 00:05:41,000 Who? 142 00:05:41,084 --> 00:05:42,744 That little blonde one on Dallas. 143 00:05:42,827 --> 00:05:44,790 People make a fuss over Victoria Principal, 144 00:05:44,874 --> 00:05:45,947 but Charlene Tilton... 145 00:05:46,031 --> 00:05:47,978 You're not helping me, George. 146 00:05:49,673 --> 00:05:51,637 I knew this was a trap. 147 00:05:52,560 --> 00:05:55,197 I must tell you that Sheldon was very excited 148 00:05:55,281 --> 00:05:57,165 to hear that you might be joining us. 149 00:05:57,249 --> 00:05:58,620 Well, isn't he sweet? 150 00:05:58,704 --> 00:05:59,899 He's a peach. 151 00:05:59,983 --> 00:06:02,471 All right, I'm here. Hello, hello. 152 00:06:02,555 --> 00:06:03,690 Hello. 153 00:06:03,774 --> 00:06:05,910 Hi, Sheldon. I'm so excited for you 154 00:06:05,994 --> 00:06:07,259 to show me around campus today. 155 00:06:07,343 --> 00:06:08,783 The only reason I'm doing it is because... 156 00:06:08,867 --> 00:06:11,220 He's excited to do it, I'm excited he's doing it. 157 00:06:11,303 --> 00:06:13,048 - Are you excited? - Sure. 158 00:06:13,132 --> 00:06:14,660 Everyone's excited. Yay. 159 00:06:15,653 --> 00:06:17,706 Come on, let's go. 160 00:06:18,007 --> 00:06:20,374 You and me, together again. 161 00:06:20,461 --> 00:06:21,990 It just feels right, doesn't it? 162 00:06:24,317 --> 00:06:25,680 There's the cafeteria. 163 00:06:25,764 --> 00:06:27,961 If you like tuna salad with hair in it. 164 00:06:28,045 --> 00:06:30,401 Over there is the quad. It's a nice place to relax, 165 00:06:30,485 --> 00:06:32,692 if you like getting hit in the head with Frisbees. 166 00:06:32,776 --> 00:06:34,694 - I know what you're doing. - No, you don't. 167 00:06:34,778 --> 00:06:36,375 You have nothing to worry about. 168 00:06:36,459 --> 00:06:38,159 I don't want to come to this school. 169 00:06:38,244 --> 00:06:39,814 I'm just looking at it to make my mom happy 170 00:06:39,898 --> 00:06:41,221 since it's close to home. 171 00:06:41,305 --> 00:06:42,766 Well, that's wonderful news. 172 00:06:42,850 --> 00:06:45,646 Besides, I've got offers from way better universities. 173 00:06:45,730 --> 00:06:48,478 What do you mean? What's wrong with this school? 174 00:06:48,641 --> 00:06:50,495 It's fine. It's just nowhere near as good 175 00:06:50,579 --> 00:06:52,151 as Harvard or Columbia. 176 00:06:52,305 --> 00:06:53,875 It is too. 177 00:06:54,084 --> 00:06:56,408 If you like a substandard science department 178 00:06:56,492 --> 00:06:57,745 and hair in your tuna. 179 00:06:57,829 --> 00:07:00,673 "Sad Eyes" by Robert John playing... 180 00:07:00,985 --> 00:07:03,663 Paige had made me look at East Texas Tech 181 00:07:03,747 --> 00:07:05,543 in a whole new light. 182 00:07:05,627 --> 00:07:07,536 ♪ Looks like it's over 183 00:07:07,620 --> 00:07:10,545 ♪ You knew I couldn't stay 184 00:07:12,365 --> 00:07:16,581 ♪ Why must you look at me that way? ♪ 185 00:07:18,298 --> 00:07:21,391 ♪ It's over 186 00:07:24,923 --> 00:07:27,382 ♪ Sad eyes 187 00:07:27,466 --> 00:07:28,957 Of course. 188 00:07:29,042 --> 00:07:31,439 ♪ You knew there'd come a day 189 00:07:31,524 --> 00:07:37,292 ♪ When we would have to say goodbye. ♪ 190 00:07:40,437 --> 00:07:42,838 She said she doesn't even want to come to this university. 191 00:07:42,922 --> 00:07:44,807 Well, I hope you convinced her otherwise. 192 00:07:44,891 --> 00:07:47,055 She said she'd rather go to Harvard or Columbia. 193 00:07:47,139 --> 00:07:49,518 T-Those are all perfectly fine schools, 194 00:07:49,601 --> 00:07:51,298 but we have a lot to offer here, too. 195 00:07:51,382 --> 00:07:53,088 I told her that, but she said I was settling 196 00:07:53,172 --> 00:07:54,737 because I want to live close to my mommy. 197 00:07:54,821 --> 00:07:55,933 Well, that's ridiculous. 198 00:07:56,018 --> 00:07:58,071 That's why I came here to tell on her. 199 00:07:58,704 --> 00:08:02,206 Well, the important thing is you're here and you're happy. 200 00:08:02,295 --> 00:08:03,992 I thought I was, but why does Paige 201 00:08:04,076 --> 00:08:05,951 get to go to a better school than me? 202 00:08:06,767 --> 00:08:08,807 Hey, I know what'll solve your problem. 203 00:08:08,891 --> 00:08:10,665 Convince Paige to come here. 204 00:08:10,750 --> 00:08:12,791 Yeah. Wait. 205 00:08:13,321 --> 00:08:16,045 Sometimes I think George doesn't even see me. 206 00:08:16,151 --> 00:08:17,564 And it's not just him. 207 00:08:17,649 --> 00:08:19,423 My daughter's embarrassed of me, 208 00:08:19,507 --> 00:08:22,752 my boys think all I'm good for is food and clean clothes. 209 00:08:22,836 --> 00:08:24,447 You start feeling like a ghost, right? 210 00:08:24,531 --> 00:08:27,119 - Yes. - I get it, I'm a mom. 211 00:08:27,202 --> 00:08:29,893 So did that feeling ever go away? 212 00:08:29,976 --> 00:08:30,978 Yeah. 213 00:08:31,062 --> 00:08:34,565 I realized I was doing everything for everyone else, 214 00:08:34,649 --> 00:08:36,884 and I didn't have anything left for me. 215 00:08:36,969 --> 00:08:39,423 So, here we are. 216 00:08:40,365 --> 00:08:43,807 When I was younger, I used to love making my own clothes. 217 00:08:43,892 --> 00:08:45,596 - Mm-hmm. - I always thought I'd do 218 00:08:45,679 --> 00:08:47,018 something with that. 219 00:08:47,101 --> 00:08:48,557 Maybe I should get back to it. 220 00:08:48,640 --> 00:08:50,509 You definitely should. 221 00:08:50,594 --> 00:08:51,790 Okay. 222 00:08:51,875 --> 00:08:54,745 Okay. So, what are we thinking? 223 00:08:55,071 --> 00:08:58,494 Actually, I don't think I need a haircut anymore. 224 00:08:58,577 --> 00:09:00,322 Thank you so much. 225 00:09:00,407 --> 00:09:02,259 Oh, my pleasure. 226 00:09:05,008 --> 00:09:08,081 I got to start charging by the hour. 227 00:09:12,703 --> 00:09:14,143 What are you doing? 228 00:09:14,226 --> 00:09:15,600 I'm sewing. 229 00:09:15,683 --> 00:09:16,971 Why? 230 00:09:17,056 --> 00:09:19,196 Because it's a thing I like to do. 231 00:09:19,782 --> 00:09:21,477 I ain't never seen you sew. 232 00:09:21,562 --> 00:09:23,479 Well, you're seeing it now. 233 00:09:23,562 --> 00:09:24,927 What you making? 234 00:09:25,011 --> 00:09:26,931 A dress for Missy. 235 00:09:28,196 --> 00:09:29,626 Did you lose your job? 236 00:09:29,711 --> 00:09:30,899 No. 237 00:09:30,984 --> 00:09:32,870 Did Dad lose his job? 238 00:09:32,969 --> 00:09:35,775 It's about me doing something for myself. 239 00:09:35,860 --> 00:09:37,423 All right, don't get sassy. 240 00:09:37,508 --> 00:09:38,915 Hey. 241 00:09:40,456 --> 00:09:42,120 What's going on in here? 242 00:09:42,274 --> 00:09:43,825 She's making clothes for Missy. 243 00:09:43,908 --> 00:09:45,903 Uh-oh. Did you lose your job? 244 00:09:45,986 --> 00:09:47,283 No. 245 00:09:47,368 --> 00:09:49,298 She's doing something for her. 246 00:09:50,183 --> 00:09:52,417 I don't get it, either. 247 00:09:53,788 --> 00:09:54,932 Ooh, maybe I'll transfer 248 00:09:55,015 --> 00:09:56,745 to the University of Zurich. 249 00:09:56,907 --> 00:09:58,650 I thought you liked your school. 250 00:09:58,735 --> 00:10:00,533 I did, until Paige ruined it. 251 00:10:00,711 --> 00:10:02,067 Why do you care what she thinks? 252 00:10:02,150 --> 00:10:03,572 I don't. 253 00:10:03,657 --> 00:10:05,471 Sure sounds like you do. 254 00:10:05,703 --> 00:10:07,809 I can't help it. She makes me crazy. 255 00:10:07,961 --> 00:10:09,400 Then stop thinking about her. 256 00:10:09,485 --> 00:10:11,042 I wish I could. 257 00:10:11,172 --> 00:10:13,400 Ooh, maybe you have a crush on her. 258 00:10:14,086 --> 00:10:15,580 That's ridiculous. 259 00:10:15,663 --> 00:10:16,683 I don't know. 260 00:10:16,768 --> 00:10:18,063 I don't. 261 00:10:18,148 --> 00:10:21,210 You care what she thinks, you can't stop talking about her. 262 00:10:21,293 --> 00:10:22,775 I don't have a crush on her! 263 00:10:22,860 --> 00:10:24,153 Are you sure? 264 00:10:24,236 --> 00:10:25,807 I don't know! 265 00:10:29,226 --> 00:10:31,361 Okay, here we go. 266 00:10:31,467 --> 00:10:34,970 "Is it a crush? Take this juicy quiz and find out. 267 00:10:35,053 --> 00:10:37,274 Do you think about them when they're not around?" 268 00:10:37,359 --> 00:10:38,619 Lately, yes. 269 00:10:38,702 --> 00:10:41,330 "Are you jealous when other people give them attention?" 270 00:10:41,717 --> 00:10:42,946 I suppose I am. 271 00:10:43,029 --> 00:10:44,871 "Do you get nervous when you're around them?" 272 00:10:44,956 --> 00:10:47,860 How could I not? Last time she punched me, in the face. 273 00:10:47,943 --> 00:10:49,471 That was so great. 274 00:10:49,554 --> 00:10:51,407 "Do you talk about them all the time?" 275 00:10:51,490 --> 00:10:53,243 That's a big fat yes. 276 00:10:53,326 --> 00:10:55,415 "Do you dream about them?" 277 00:10:55,648 --> 00:10:57,144 Oh, dear. 278 00:10:57,229 --> 00:10:58,929 Just last night I had a nightmare that she solved 279 00:10:59,014 --> 00:11:00,821 the Einstein field equations ahead of me. 280 00:11:00,904 --> 00:11:02,779 That's five out of five. 281 00:11:02,864 --> 00:11:05,947 "You're crushing harder than Zack on Kelly Kapowski." 282 00:11:06,115 --> 00:11:07,782 Uh, what does that mean? 283 00:11:07,865 --> 00:11:10,408 Trust me, that's a big deal. 284 00:11:10,554 --> 00:11:13,485 My sister had gotten into my head, but I needed 285 00:11:13,570 --> 00:11:16,556 a more reliable opinion than a magazine that included 286 00:11:16,639 --> 00:11:18,822 the Hottest Tips for Pouty Lips. 287 00:11:19,167 --> 00:11:20,461 Georgie? 288 00:11:20,546 --> 00:11:21,602 What? 289 00:11:21,687 --> 00:11:23,955 Can I ask you a question about girls? 290 00:11:24,038 --> 00:11:26,740 Go ahead, but I find them very confusing. 291 00:11:26,823 --> 00:11:29,269 Missy thinks I have a crush on Paige. 292 00:11:29,727 --> 00:11:30,899 Do you? 293 00:11:30,984 --> 00:11:33,767 I don't know, but I know that I don't want to. 294 00:11:33,850 --> 00:11:36,315 Well, you don't get to choose. 295 00:11:36,399 --> 00:11:38,059 It's just something you feel. 296 00:11:38,171 --> 00:11:40,267 Did you have a crush on your girlfriend? 297 00:11:40,350 --> 00:11:41,889 Yeah, I guess. 298 00:11:41,984 --> 00:11:43,445 How did you know when you did? 299 00:11:43,528 --> 00:11:46,231 Well, one day she came to school in these soccer shorts, 300 00:11:46,316 --> 00:11:47,889 and that was it. 301 00:11:48,053 --> 00:11:49,980 What happened, you played soccer with her? 302 00:11:50,065 --> 00:11:51,203 No, dummy. 303 00:11:51,288 --> 00:11:53,727 Then what was the significance of the shorts? 304 00:11:54,417 --> 00:11:55,942 I don't think I can help you. 305 00:11:56,027 --> 00:11:57,205 Fine, I'll ask Dad. 306 00:11:57,288 --> 00:11:59,860 Good luck. The only thing he has a crush on is beer. 307 00:11:59,943 --> 00:12:02,102 I wasn't getting the help I needed, 308 00:12:02,187 --> 00:12:05,351 so I turned to the smartest resource I knew. 309 00:12:05,436 --> 00:12:07,751 Love is a funny thing. 310 00:12:07,836 --> 00:12:10,615 They say, "The heart wants what the heart wants," 311 00:12:10,700 --> 00:12:12,480 but I think it should be, 312 00:12:12,565 --> 00:12:16,578 "The limbic system wants what the limbic system wants." 313 00:12:16,663 --> 00:12:18,873 Finally, someone's making sense. 314 00:12:18,956 --> 00:12:22,937 Well, not to brag, but when it comes to unrequited love, 315 00:12:23,020 --> 00:12:24,971 I'm kind of an expert. 316 00:12:25,056 --> 00:12:27,845 Well, when I talk to Paige, all she does is drive me crazy. 317 00:12:27,928 --> 00:12:32,195 There's a thin line between affection and aggravation. 318 00:12:32,278 --> 00:12:34,655 The Roman poet Catullus said, 319 00:12:34,740 --> 00:12:39,072 "I hate and I love and I know not why." 320 00:12:39,157 --> 00:12:40,927 I'm not sure what to make of that. 321 00:12:41,011 --> 00:12:43,207 Perhaps it'd be more useful in Latin. 322 00:12:43,292 --> 00:12:44,904 "Odi et amo..." 323 00:12:44,989 --> 00:12:47,341 I just want to know if I have a crush. 324 00:12:47,426 --> 00:12:48,835 Well, does your heart rate elevate 325 00:12:48,918 --> 00:12:50,577 when you're in her presence? 326 00:12:50,832 --> 00:12:52,154 I suppose. 327 00:12:52,239 --> 00:12:54,261 Does your stomach flutter? 328 00:12:54,346 --> 00:12:56,090 Yes. 329 00:12:56,173 --> 00:13:00,006 Sounds like your limbic system might be doing its thing. 330 00:13:00,410 --> 00:13:02,296 Oh, dear. 331 00:13:04,014 --> 00:13:06,172 - Hey. - Hey. 332 00:13:06,923 --> 00:13:08,552 That's a lot of fabric. 333 00:13:08,636 --> 00:13:10,024 Oh, it's not just fabric. 334 00:13:10,109 --> 00:13:13,077 I also got pattern books and an accessory kit. 335 00:13:14,572 --> 00:13:16,561 Can I ask how much that all cost? 336 00:13:16,644 --> 00:13:19,163 Well, it's hard to say, because in the long run 337 00:13:19,246 --> 00:13:20,624 I'm gonna save us money. 338 00:13:20,707 --> 00:13:23,465 Well, what did it cost in the short run? 339 00:13:23,548 --> 00:13:25,279 I don't know, a hundred dollars? 340 00:13:25,364 --> 00:13:29,022 A hundred dollars? What is wrong with you? 341 00:13:29,105 --> 00:13:30,764 Why would you say that? 342 00:13:30,847 --> 00:13:32,624 That is a good question. 343 00:13:32,707 --> 00:13:34,616 I mean, what is wrong with you? 344 00:13:34,856 --> 00:13:36,498 Why is it okay when you say it? 345 00:13:36,581 --> 00:13:38,945 'Cause clearly there's something wrong with you. 346 00:13:39,028 --> 00:13:40,725 So you think it's fine that she spent 347 00:13:40,809 --> 00:13:42,662 a hundred dollars on thread? 348 00:13:42,745 --> 00:13:45,835 I think it's fine that she has something that makes her happy. 349 00:13:47,806 --> 00:13:48,855 What are you looking for? 350 00:13:48,938 --> 00:13:50,530 Anybody but you. 351 00:13:50,870 --> 00:13:52,706 Look, I get it. 352 00:13:52,820 --> 00:13:56,236 One time, Darlene got all into scrapbooking. 353 00:13:56,321 --> 00:13:59,109 Overnight, our den became her scrapbooking room. 354 00:13:59,192 --> 00:14:00,380 What did you do? 355 00:14:00,465 --> 00:14:02,243 I said, "Whatever makes you happy, dear," 356 00:14:02,326 --> 00:14:04,563 and made love to her in the scrapbooking room. 357 00:14:04,648 --> 00:14:05,957 Ha. 358 00:14:08,480 --> 00:14:11,096 Maybe if you had three kids, you'd worry more about money. 359 00:14:11,181 --> 00:14:13,413 Oh, we can't wait to have babies. 360 00:14:13,498 --> 00:14:16,359 I just love the way their little heads smell. 361 00:14:17,388 --> 00:14:19,918 Does anybody in here want to be my friend? 362 00:14:20,302 --> 00:14:21,831 Anybody? 363 00:14:22,498 --> 00:14:25,235 Look, Sheldon, you're not gonna convince me to come here. 364 00:14:25,320 --> 00:14:26,720 You're wasting your time. 365 00:14:27,879 --> 00:14:30,628 I'm afraid we have a bigger problem. 366 00:14:30,849 --> 00:14:32,581 What are you talking about? 367 00:14:34,263 --> 00:14:36,668 I'm a scientist, and I have to follow the data 368 00:14:36,753 --> 00:14:39,501 wherever it leads, whether I like it or not. 369 00:14:39,793 --> 00:14:41,457 Get to the point. 370 00:14:42,740 --> 00:14:45,010 It seems I have a crush on you. 371 00:14:45,207 --> 00:14:46,356 What? 372 00:14:46,441 --> 00:14:48,273 I'm as surprised as you are. 373 00:14:48,356 --> 00:14:50,725 But I have all the symptoms according to both Dr. Sturgis 374 00:14:50,809 --> 00:14:53,273 and the editors of Sassymagazine. 375 00:14:58,809 --> 00:15:00,870 Uh, Sheldon, 376 00:15:01,356 --> 00:15:03,173 I'm really glad that you told me this, 377 00:15:03,258 --> 00:15:04,975 'cause... 378 00:15:06,027 --> 00:15:08,308 the truth is, I feel the same way about you. 379 00:15:08,393 --> 00:15:09,788 You do? 380 00:15:09,873 --> 00:15:11,537 I mean, I've been trying to hide it, 381 00:15:11,620 --> 00:15:14,054 but now I don't have to anymore. 382 00:15:14,139 --> 00:15:15,931 This is such a relief. 383 00:15:16,059 --> 00:15:18,850 Oh, dear. This is new information. 384 00:15:18,934 --> 00:15:20,428 I had been operating under the assumption 385 00:15:20,513 --> 00:15:22,197 that my crush was unrequited. 386 00:15:22,450 --> 00:15:25,764 Oh, it's requited, Sheldon. It's very requited. 387 00:15:25,847 --> 00:15:27,418 Hmm. 388 00:15:31,461 --> 00:15:33,076 What are you doing? 389 00:15:33,161 --> 00:15:34,509 We have a crush on each other. 390 00:15:34,592 --> 00:15:35,683 So? 391 00:15:35,768 --> 00:15:37,716 Well, now we have to kiss. 392 00:15:37,801 --> 00:15:39,331 We do? 393 00:15:39,770 --> 00:15:42,692 I mean, it's where the data has led us. 394 00:15:44,951 --> 00:15:46,398 I suppose. 395 00:15:47,067 --> 00:15:48,342 Okay. 396 00:15:48,427 --> 00:15:50,738 Now close your eyes and pucker up. 397 00:15:56,628 --> 00:15:58,590 This might tickle. 398 00:16:01,922 --> 00:16:03,538 What's happening? Are we kissing? 399 00:16:03,621 --> 00:16:05,193 You bet. 400 00:16:08,224 --> 00:16:09,450 How was that? 401 00:16:09,825 --> 00:16:11,669 I didn't feel anything romantic. 402 00:16:11,754 --> 00:16:14,195 Hmm. Me, either. 403 00:16:15,807 --> 00:16:17,442 I guess it wasn't a crush after all. 404 00:16:17,527 --> 00:16:18,971 I guess not. 405 00:16:19,115 --> 00:16:22,039 Hmm. That's a relief. 406 00:16:22,332 --> 00:16:23,568 It is. 407 00:16:23,653 --> 00:16:26,506 I went to three classes before I figured it out. 408 00:16:26,817 --> 00:16:29,350 Good thing I look spiffy in a mustache. 409 00:16:32,442 --> 00:16:33,523 Hi. 410 00:16:33,606 --> 00:16:36,005 Oh. Three days in a row. 411 00:16:36,090 --> 00:16:38,820 If you were a man, I'd think you was in love with me. 412 00:16:38,996 --> 00:16:41,842 Well, this time I'm actually gonna get a haircut. 413 00:16:41,927 --> 00:16:44,178 I had a little accident. 414 00:16:44,263 --> 00:16:46,157 Uh-oh, what happened? 415 00:16:46,364 --> 00:16:50,038 Well, I was sewing and got to daydreaming... 416 00:16:55,796 --> 00:16:57,062 I love it. 417 00:16:57,145 --> 00:16:59,432 You can make all my clothes from now on. 418 00:17:01,567 --> 00:17:03,659 I'm-a wear this to the prom. 419 00:17:03,744 --> 00:17:06,826 I was wrong, honey, you really are good at this. 420 00:17:06,911 --> 00:17:08,751 Boy, am I dumb. 421 00:17:10,521 --> 00:17:12,701 George! 422 00:17:13,180 --> 00:17:14,663 George! Help! 423 00:17:14,747 --> 00:17:15,663 What? 424 00:17:15,748 --> 00:17:18,694 - What's the matter? - My hair got tangled in the machine. 425 00:17:18,778 --> 00:17:20,201 So pull it out. 426 00:17:20,286 --> 00:17:21,847 Don't you think I thought of that?! 427 00:17:21,932 --> 00:17:23,858 Well, what do you want me to do? 428 00:17:23,942 --> 00:17:25,944 All right, don't move. 429 00:17:26,417 --> 00:17:28,204 And here we are. 430 00:17:28,387 --> 00:17:30,578 Okay. Let's get that hat off 431 00:17:30,663 --> 00:17:32,366 and see what we're dealing with. 432 00:17:32,472 --> 00:17:34,647 - I don't want to. - Oh, come on. 433 00:17:34,731 --> 00:17:36,279 I've been doing this a long time. 434 00:17:36,364 --> 00:17:37,954 I promise you I've seen worse. 435 00:17:38,097 --> 00:17:39,476 Oh... 436 00:17:42,535 --> 00:17:45,575 That's not bad at all. 31216

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