Original subtitles

Previously on Young Sheldon...

Herschel moved out.

Oh, Brenda.

I'm so sorry.

I think I have a boyfriend. What's his name?

Marcus Adam Larson. He's 11 and a half,

he has blond hair, his favorite color's green

and he's learning how to skateboard.

How do you know he's your boyfriend?

Because this happened.

Well, I didn't realize you had documentation.

I know.

ADULT SHELDON: As long as humans have been on Earth,

they've had to contend with viruses.

And as long as I've been on Earth,

I've come up with fun ways to avoid them.

I've heard so much about you.

Apparently not how I feel about shaking hands.

ADULT SHELDON: I wear personal protective equipment...

You come here right this instant.

...and I was social distancing

before it was cool.

But in the early '90s,

a new type of virus became prevalent.

One that no amount of hand-washing could stop.

A computer virus.

Oh, no.

ADULT SHELDON: But let's back up and begin this story

in a simpler time, before an insidious infection

had upended my life.

Hey, how has Billy been lately?

I don't know.

Aren't you friends?

We're like "head nod in the hallway" friends.

What's that?

You see someone in the hallway,

you give 'em one of these.

SHELDON: Ooh, there's a computer game

called Railroad Kingdom.

Can we get it?

How much is it?

$49.95.

Are you crazy? I'll handle this.

I am not paying that much for a game.

It's not just a game. It's a cutting-edge simulation

teaching business skills

in the golden age of railroads. It doesn't matter.

But what if I end up running a railroad one day

and don't have the necessary business skills?

I think I nailed it with, "Are you crazy?"

♪ Nobody else is stronger than I am ♪

♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain ♪

♪ I bet I could be your hero ♪

♪ I am a mighty little man ♪

♪ I am a mighty little man. ♪

MARY: Anyway,

I just wanted to check in

and see how you're holding up.

Working extra hours, being a single mother.

Living the dream.

MARY: Want me to give you

a hand straightening up?

Sure. You got a bulldozer?

Maybe we just need to get your mind off things.

Why don't we go out

this weekend, have a girls' night?

Really?

Mary Cooper's gonna show me a fun night on the town?

Yes.

Where we going-- bingo at the church?

Not anymore. (chuckles)

Why do these games have to be so expensive?

At least you have MTV.

♪ ♪

All I have is TV.

Will you please stop focusing on

what you don't have and try to focus on

what I don't have?

Look, if you really want it, I know a guy

who sells bootleg games for five bucks.

But that's like stealing.

Aren't you gonna buy the game eventually?

As soon as I save up enough money.

So you're just getting it early. Hmm.

I suppose an actual railroad magnate

would cut some corners.

Problem solved.

Look at that-- I don't even have the game

and I'm already learning business skills.

Cool. (shushes)

Hey. Hey.

Do you have any plans Saturday?

Why? There a Church thing?

No. I'm free.

Good, because Brenda's having a rough time

and I want to show her some fun.

Fun? (snorts)

You?

Yes, me.

Sorry, that came out wrong.

I know how to have a good time.

Of course you do. That came out wrong, too.

George.

Where you gonna take her?

Well, I haven't decided yet,

but I did find a coupon to Muriel's Tea Room.

Ooh, tea room, that sounds like a blast.

Boy, I am not good at this.

Whatever we end up doing, Billy's gonna be hanging here

with Sheldon, so you need to watch them.

I'm happy to do that.

That one sounded pretty good.

ADULT SHELDON: The next day, Tam showed up

with the bootleg copy of Railroad Kingdom.

I wore my mittens so as not to leave fingerprints,

in case it was ever used as evidence against me.

Also, Tam had pulled it out of his gym bag. Ugh.

I knew it was wrong, but listen

♪ ♪ to that seductive theme song.

Hey, can I talk to you?

What's up?

Think you could drop me off at the movies Saturday night?

I'm seeing Jana. Can't Mom do it?

Mom's going out.

And I kind of want to go with Marcus.

Ah. So you're trying to go on a secret date.

Kind of. I don't know how I feel about this.

Come on, it's just a movie.

Have you been out with him before? Never alone.

How old is this boy? Thirteen.

Do his parents know about it?

What are you, Mom now?

You're my sister. You and boys is weird.

Will you take me or not?

Fine.

Thank you, thank you, thank you!

You best not be hugging him

like this, or that date's gonna be over real quick.

It's nice you're taking Brenda out.

I'm glad someone thinks I can be fun.

Who said fun? I said "nice."

Okay, well, if you're so fun, where would you go?

It's not rocket science.

She just wants to go out to a bar and have some laughs.

I can do that.

You don't sound too sure.

It's been a while,

but there's no reason... You want me to come?

I'll pay for all your drinks.

You gonna regret that. (chuckles)

ADULT SHELDON: I was so wrapped up in my game

I didn't even know where Tam went.

TAM: ♪ The things you say ♪

♪ Mm, you're unbelievable, oh... ♪

ADULT SHELDON: But I didn't care,

because I was building my locomotive empire.

Little did I know,

as I was spreading tracks across North America,

a computer virus was spreading itself across my hard drive.

Next stop: Infection City.

♪ You're unbelievable... ♪

I'm leaving soon. How do I look?

Good, actually.

Well, you don't have to sound surprised.

Well, it's nice you want to look good for Brenda Sparks.

What are you looking for?

Deck of cards.

Why? You gonna play with the kids?

Of course not. I-I invited the guys over for poker.

You're supposed to be babysitting.

They don't want me around. They're gonna be watching TV.

But do you really need to be gambling?

I thought you were trying to be fun tonight.

I am.

Well, this seems like a good place to start.

You have a nice time with your friends. Thank you.

But so help me, if the house smells like cigars

when I get home, you will not hear the end of it.

It's your first day being fun. Y-You keep trying.

(sighs)

SHELDON: Right now, I'm about to take out a loan so I can build

the first railroad line between the Atlantic and the Pacific.

Cool. What do I do?

You watch me take out a loan so I can build

the first railroad line between the Atlantic and the Pacific.

Don't you have a game that two people can play?

I do, but not one that lets you take out a loan

so you can build the first railroad line

between the Atlantic and the Pacific.

I'll pick Jana up first, then we'll go get Marcus.

Okay.

So what movie we seeing? What do you mean "we"?

You think I'm letting you go to the movies alone with him?

What do you think's gonna happen?

Nothing's gonna happen, '‘cause I'm gonna be there.

(groans)

Relax, I'm not gonna sit with you.

I'll be in the back.

But you'll be watching me?

Depends. What movie we seeing?

Beauty and the Beast.

(sighs) I'll be watching you.

So how come it's taken us so long to hang out?

Well... my husband never left me before.

We can joke about it?

Good.

'Cause that's gonna make this night way easier.

Here we go.

Is that three beers I see?

It's girls' night out and I said

I was gonna show you a good time.

All right, then, party girl, give us a toast.

Oh, um, well, uh...

Bless these beers

and the bartender who poured them.

Seriously?

I thought it was good.

I-I'll handle this.

To friends.

(laughs)

And to Brenda's crap husband who made this night possible.

Mom. It's okay, she said we could joke about it.

(mouths)

You have a serving bowl I can put these in?

A serving bowl?

I didn't realize we were

playing poker with Martha Stewart.

(laughs)

I will make civilized men of y'all

if it kills me.

I was just laughing 'cause he's my boss.

I'll get you a bowl.

Uh, hey, Billy.

I thought you were playing computer games with Sheldon.

I got bored so I came out here.

Well, you want me to go get him?

No, I'm fine by myself.

Where's my serving bowl?

Uh, hey, Wayne, this is Billy.

Hey.

Hello.

His mama's the one Mary took out tonight.

Oh, right.

Billy, you just make yourself comfortable,

watch whatever you want and help yourself to the fridge.

BILLY: Thank you.

You can't just leave this kid by himself.

Why not?

His father's gone. He's lonely.

Well, what do you want me to do,

invite him to play poker?

Hey, Billy, why don't you come hang with us?

♪ ♪

(music slows, distorts)

What is happening?

Oh, no.

(line ringing)

MAN: Hello, you've reached the Tandy Tech Support Hotline.

I need help. I think I have a virus.

I was playing this game, and then suddenly...

Current wait time is 28 minutes.

♪ So tie a yellow ribbon... ♪

ADULT SHELDON: It wasn't bad enough I had to wait,

I also had to listen to rock and roll.

So...

how serious is it with you two?

Well, we've held hands, hugged once,

and we haven't kissed, but we did share a straw.

Wow, pretty serious.

They haven't even been on a date yet.

We got pretty serious before you ever took me on a date.

Cool it with that.

Can I ask a relationship question? Of course.

Who said "I love you" first?

Funny you should ask.

Now, I think he cared more about

those stupid chickens than he did me.

Oh, that's not true.

He took them when he left.

Okay, that's a tough one. Give me a sec.

Why are we talking about this? We should be having fun.

Actually, it feels good to get it off my chest.

Well, let's get into it.

What happened?

If it's another woman, she's a tramp, and you're way prettier.

No. Although sometimes

I wish there was.

Then I'd have someone to be mad at

other than myself.

And here I thought this one was gonna be the sad sack.

Mom, that is enough.

Oh, there's my little killjoy.

(both laughing)

Do you know anything about poker? No.

That's all right, neither does this guy.

(laughter) Good one, boss.

This is fun.

Good. Glad you're here.

My dad never let me play cards with him.

And then he left.

Sorry, are we still playing?

'Cause I've got a really good hand.

Tandy Tech Support. This is David.

How can I help you?

Hello, I'm having a problem

with my Tandy 1000SL.

What's going on?

I think I have a computer virus.

(chuckles) Well, let's not jump there yet.

Could be lots of things. What did you see?

Pixels started disappearing, and then

a message read: "Disk Destroyer-- your hard drive

is now corrupted." Yeah, that's a virus.

Oh, dear.

Have you used any unlicensed software lately?

Um... I'm not sure I should answer that

without consulting an attorney first.

Hey, hey, I get it. I play a lot of games,

not always officially purchased.

I'm just here to help

get your computer up and running.

Thank you for understanding, David.

I'm not usually a rule-breaker, but it was Railroad Kingdom

and I really wanted it because I love trains.

And it was $49.95.

My mom said it was too expensive.

And I was going to buy it eventually,

and Tam said that was good enough,

so I got a bootleg copy, and now I have a virus,

which I very much deserve.

I'm sorry, who's Tam?

So no one's gonna say anything for the rest of the night?

Wouldn't be the first time no one's said anything

when the subject of love came up.

I said something. That doesn't count.

Missy, if you said "I love you" to Marcus,

and he said "samesies," would you be okay with that? Well...

And before you answer, remember who agreed

to take you on a secret date.

Don't ask her, she's a kid.

She held hands and shared a straw!

You ready to start dating again?

I think I need some time.

Well, if you change your mind, there's a gentleman

over here at the bar who would like us

to see his butt crack. (laughs)

So, then, was there no big blowup when he left?

Not really.

Well, what happened?

Let's see... We used to be happy.

Little by little, we weren't.

Then there was bickering,

then there was silence, and then...

...it was over.

I mean...

all couples bicker, right?

You worried about you and George?

Of course.

I'm sure you guys will be fine.

And if it doesn’t work out, I'd be happy to introduce you

to Butt Crack Bob over here. (laughs)

Well, I know it's rough, but my old man left

when I was around your age. What are you,

about 16, 17?

I'm 12.

Damn.

You know, maybe he doesn't want to talk about this.

Sometimes it's good to get stuff off your chest.

My man's been through a lot.

And we're here for you. Thank you.

I'm gonna raise.

On the bright side,

you could look after your mom now.

That's what I did.

Made a man out of me.

You know, Billy, sometimes these things are for the best.

Why would you say that?

My parents had a bad marriage.

Honestly, it...

it was hard to be around.

Full boat, read 'em and weep. Come to papa.

Sorry.

Should we just forget it and go home?

Fine by me.

Does the backseat get a vote?

You put me on the spot.

I never said that to anyone before.

Me neither, and it didn't go well.

Samesies.

I'm sorry.

I'm not even sure what it's supposed to feel like.

Well, if you felt it, you'd know.

I know that I like you.

A lot.

More than anybody else.

Aw.

Really?

Yeah.

By the way, when Marcus is in the car,

you can't be this lame.

Okay, so what we're gonna need to do is

wipe your hard drive clean and reinstall the operating system.

What about all my files?

Do you have everything backed up?

I back up my files every Thursday night.

I call it Backup Thursdays.

It's not the catchiest, but it sums up the situation.

Perfect. After we wipe your drive,

you can restore it, and you'll be

good as new. Thank you so much.

No problem. So, start by turning the computer off

and inserting the DOS disk.

Wait, what if I used the backup disk

after the virus was already on the computer?

Oh. Uh, then I'm afraid it's corrupted, too.

But how do I get my files?

You don't.

But I have all my old papers on there,

my parents' taxes.

I'm sorry.

You ever play football? No, sir.

Think about it. I will forge a birth certificate tomorrow.

Dad, something terrible happened. What's the matter?

I lost all the files on my computer.

Oh, well, I'm sure you can get 'em back.

I can't, and It's all my fault.

All right, calm down.

I can't calm down. This is a disaster.

It'll be okay, Sheldon.

You don’t understand. They're gone.

And they're gone forever.

And no matter what I do, they're never coming back,

so it won't be okay.

ADULT SHELDON: I wish I could tell you

I realized the cruel irony

of what I had just said to Billy,

and apologized.

But I didn't.

ADULT SHELDON: Like a virus,

heartbreak can also spread.

Once it does, it's hard to contain.

In some cases you can try to reboot and start over.

But it makes you appreciate those early days,

when your hard drive was clean...

...and the world was full of possibility.