Original subtitles

™�♪

Now, Ben, Mom And I Have Talked About It

And You're Gonna Sleep In Your Own Room Tonight, Ok?

He's Such A Baby.

I'm Not!

Oooo, There's A Monster In My Closet!

Shut Up, You Cow!

You Didn't See It.

It Was Big And Huge

With Hairy Arms And Sharp Teeth.

Oh, Please!

Hey, Molly, This Is None Of Your Business.

Maybe He Could Sleep In Our Room Just One More Night?

No!

C'mon, This Is Ridiculous.

Ben, I've Told You A Million Times,

Monsters Aren't Real.

Ok, I Believe You.

Monsters Aren't Real.

That's Better.

Hey, Honey, Go Sit Down On The Couch.

I Can Take Care Of This.

Ok, Kids, Homework.

Watch Out. There Might Be Monsters In The Living Room.

Shut Up, Molly!

Settle Down, You Two!

Aw, Shoot.

Yaaaaa!

Aaaaaah!

Am I Real Enough For You?

Aaaaaah!

Gilbert, Let Go Of My Leg.

Is That Your Leg?

I Thought It Was My Leg.

Don't Be Such A Wuss. It's Just A Movie.

Yaaaaa!

Thanks So Much For Bringing Me.

Now If You'll Excuse Me, I'll Be Throwing Up In The Lobby.

Grrrr!

What Did I Miss?

You Missed The Whole Movie.

You Know, I'm Not Going With You Any More.

You Always Walk Out When The Least Little Thing Happens.

Marshall, A Wartheaded Demon

Shishkabobed A Family Of Four.

It's A Horror Movie.

What Do You Think Happens In A Horror Movie?

Horrible Things!

Ok, I Guess I Don't Like Horror Movies.

I Like Nice Happy Movies

Like The Sound Of Music.

You've Got To Be Kidding.

No. C'mon, It's A Great Movie.

It's Got Singing, Dancing, Nazis.

Well, The Nazis Don't Sing And Dance,

Which Would Be Really Cool,

But It's Still A Great Movie.

Unbelievable.

And Leisel-- That's The Oldest Daughter--

What A Babe.

Even When She's Wearing Those Play Clothes

Made Out Of Curtains--

Gilbert, You're Starting To Sound Really Weird.

Ok, Got It. Thanks.

So, What Are You Gonna Be For Halloween?

Probably Nothing.

Me Neither.

I Mean, Think About It.

You Drape A Bath Mat Around Your Shoulders,

Call Yourself Superman, And Beg For Candy.

The Whole Thing Is Pretty Degrading.

Mr. Kubat!

He Always Drives Like That.

He's Gonna Kill Somebody One Day.

Remember Last Spring When He Ran Over My Bike?

He's So Creepy.

Yeah.

So Is His House.

You Deliver His Paper, Don't You?

Yeah.

What's He Like?

I Don't Know. Uh...

What Do You Mean? You Collect From Him Once A Month.

Does He Talk To You? Is He Mean? What?

Gilbert?

Well, I, Uh, Haven't Exactly

Gotten Around To Collecting From Him Yet.

How Long Have You Been Delivering His Paper?

Not Long.

How Long?

One... Two Years.

Two Years? He Hasn't Paid You In Two Years?

Marshall, Wait. Where Are You Going?

It's Payday.

No, Marshall, Don't. He'll Kill You.

He's Not Going To Kill Me.

Yes, He Is!

What About Patrick Ryor?

What About Him?

He Blew Up Kubat's Mailbox With A Cherry Bomb

And Nobody Ever Saw Him Again.

That's Because He Moved To Toronto.

Oh, Really?

You Know, He Never Writes.

Marshall!

Marshall, Please, Don't.

Settle Down. Why Are You So Afraid Of Everything?

I Can't Help It, Marshall.

I'm Not Like You.

Wartheaded Monsters And Creepy Old Men Scare Me.

I Don't Know Why. Maybe I'm Just Human.

You've Got To Learn How To Quit Being So Afraid All The Time

And Stand Up For Yourself.

You're Right. You're Very Right.

But Can We Please Go Home And Learn This Very Important Lesson

From The Comfort Of My Own Bedroom?

Whatta Ya Say, Huh?

Ooh!

Mr. Kubat...

Gilbert, Here,

Is Your Paperboy.

A Job I Cherish, By The Way.

Anyway, You Owe Him A Lot Of Money

And We're...

He Has A Dog.

I Didn't Know He Had A Dog. Did You?

Nope. New Information For Me.

Run!

Aaaaaah!

Marshall? Marshall, Are You Ok?

Yeah. You Wouldn't Believe--

Hey. How're You Doing, Sport?

Oh.

Hi, Ted.

How Was The Movie?

Fine.

Gilbert, It's Getting Kind Of Late.

Maybe You Ought To Run On Home.

All Right.

Bye, Marshall.

Bye.

So, Why Don't You Come On In

And Have A Seat And Tell Us About The Movie?

Got Some Ice Cream, And I Was Thinking

We Should All Spend Some Time Together.

I Don't Think So. I'm Really Tired.

Well, Ok. Goodnight, Buddy.

Marshall?

Yeah.

He's A Really Nice Guy, Marshall.

I Know.

Your Father And I Have Been Divorced A Long Time.

It's Ok, Mom.

Ok.

Don't Stay Up Too Late, Huh?

He's Dead.

Who?

Mr. Kubat.

He's Dead?

We Just Saw Him Last Saturday Night.

When Did He Die?

A Couple Of Days Ago.

The Water Meter Man Came To Read The Meter

And He Saw Kubat Through The Window.

Sprawled Out On The Kitchen Floor,

Covered In Pancake Batter.

I Can't Believe It.

Man, What A Way To Go--

Killed By Pancake Batter.

Hello! He Died Of A Heart Attack, You Idiot.

He Just Happened To Be Making Pancakes At The Time.

Oh. Sorry.

Still, Poor Guy.

One Minute You're Making Yourself A Hearty, Nutritious Breakfast

And The Next-- Bingo! Lights Out.

Hey, He Was Old. Organs Failed. These Things Happen.

Now What About You? Are You Eating Your Peaches?

Here. Eat All The Peaches.

How Can You Eat These Things Anyway?

They're As Hard As Rocks.

You Just Suck On 'Em Awhile And Then They're Ok.

Now, Please, Finish The Story.

Ok. He Used To Work In Some Big Museum In New York.

No Family. No Friends. No Relatives.

Now, My Mom's Company's Selling His House.

It's So Spooky.

I Can't Believe Anyone Would Want To Buy It.

I Heard It's Full Of Weird Stuff.

Your House's Full Of Weird Stuff.

My Mom Collects Antique Dolls.

It's Perfectly Normal. A Lot Of People Collect Dolls.

Yeah, A Lot Of Insane People.

My Mom's Not Insane.

She Takes Her Dolls To The Movies.

So? There's Nothing Wrong With That.

She Buys Them Popcorn.

Once! She Did That Once.

Mike Cazwell Said He Snuck Over To Kubat's One Night

And Saw A Coffin In The Basement.

He Did Not.

He Swears.

I Don't Believe It.

Well, There's One Way To Find Out.

No, No, No, No, No.

This Is A Very Bad Idea.

Gee, Guys, I'd Love To Go With You

But It's Just That My Mom Won't Let Me.

Chicken.

I Am Not.

I Asked My Mom, And You Know How Strict She Is--

Mrs. Anderson?

Call Me Esmerelda.

Her Name's Not Esmerelda.

She's Role Playing. Go With It.

Ok.

Esmerelda?

Yes.

Marshall And I Are Going To Go Get Some Ice Cream.

Can Gilbert Come With Us?

Sure. Just Be Back By 8:30.

Thanks A Lot, Mom!

Ok, I'll Admit I'm A Chicken.

I Can Do That. I Have No Pride.

But Have Either One Of You Stopped To Realize What We're Doing?

Breaking Into A Dead Guy's House!

And On A School Night!

We'll Be Back By 8:30.

I'll Even Set My Watch.

Esmerelda?

You Have No Idea.

You Know, Maybe I Should Just Wait Out Front.

I'll Be The Lookout Guy.

Sure. Go Ahead.

The Lookout Guy's Always The First To Go.

Ok, Then How About I'm Just The Panicky Guy Who Goes And Gets Help?

Gilbert, Shut Up.

Ok.

Excellent!

Uh, It's Spooky In There.

You're Scared, Aren't You?

I'm Not Scared.

You're The One Who's Sweating, Monster Boy.

Geek.

Loser.

Car!

Ok, This Was Fun, But I Think We Should Go Now.

Look, Maybe We Can Just Push It Open.

Good Idea.

It's Locked.

It's Not Locked. It's Just Stuck.

Push Harder.

I Think We've Got It! Keep Pushing.

We've Almost Got It! Push, Gilbert!

This Is Never Gonna Work.

Push, Gilbert!

Aaaaaah!

Grab Him! Gilbert!

Aaaaah!

Gilbert!

I'm Fine. I'm Ok. I'm Fine.

Do You See Anything?

What?

Look Around. Do You See Anything?

Not Much. It's Pretty Dark.

I See A Staircase.

I See... Uh... No Furniture.

I Can't Hold On Much Longer.

Ok, A Few Paintings, A Mirror, And...

Aaaaaah! Aaaaaaaa!

What? What Is It?

Aaaaaah!

Gilbert! What Is It?

Aaaaah! Aaaaaaah!

Gilbert!

What's Wrong?

Nothing Really.

I'm Fine. I'm Perfectly Fine.

But I'm Pretty Sure This Is What A Heart Attack Feels Like.

Does Anybody Know Cpr?

C'mon, Gilbert.

My Glasses!

What?

What?

My Glasses. I Must Have Dropped Them In The Basement.

I Am Not Going Back!

You Cannot Make Me Go Back!

What Was In That Basement?

A Coffin! A Big Weird Coffin!

Cool!

Yeah, Real Cool. Especially The Hand That Was Sticking Out Of It.

Oh, Man!

Mr. Kubat Must've Killed Somebody.

So What Are We Gonna Do?

We Go Back In The Basement And Get His Glasses.

No Way!

Ok, Fine.

We'll Just Tell Your Mom You Broke Into A Dead Guy's House

And Left Them There.

No. That Would Be Bad.

Then We've Got To Go Get Them.

How? It's A Ten-Foot Drop From That Basement Window.

My Mother's Got The Key.

She Does?

I Told You She's Selling The House.

Wait A Minute!

If Your Mom's Got The Key

Then How Come We Had To Break Into The Basement?

What Fun Is It To Use A Key?

Exactly.

Oh, Man, It's Nasty In Here.

Let's Grab Your Glasses, Check Out The Dead Guy,

And Get Out.

I Think I'll Just Stay Here.

Hey, They're Your Glasses.

I Don't Really Need 'Em.

You Know, It's The Strangest Thing--

I Feel Like My Eyesight's Getting Much Better.

That Must Be The Basement Door.

C'mon.

I'll Be Waiting Up Here. Enjoy Yourselves.

You Go First.

You Go First. I'll Watch Your Back.

Have You Ever Seen A Dead Person?

Oh, Yeah. I've Got Them Lying Around In My Basement In Huge Stacks.

You Should Come Over Some Time.

We Use Them To Build Big Forts.

Yaaaa!

I Sit Alone In The Hallway All By Myself.

Yes, Sir. This Was A Really Stupid Idea.

Yaaaaa!

What?

You Scared Me.

You See, I Thought That You...

Aaaaaah!

Marshall, Help Me Up!

Do You Think That Will Hold It?

Nobody's Coming Through That Door.

Trust Me.

Aaaaaah!

Aaaaaah!

C'mon.

It's Locked!

Hmmm.

Man, That Mummy Had To Go.

Run!

Uh... Guys?

Thank You.

Come On, Gilbert.

Let's Get Out Of Here.

Can't Move.

Too Scared.

Blacking Out.

Ok, I'll Come Get You.

Now Hold Onto Me.

Nice Mummy. Good Mummy.

Ok, Gilbert, On The Count Of Three,

Get Ready To Make A Run For It.

One...

Two...

Aaaaaah!

He's Scared Of My Watch.

See. It's Ok.

It's A Watch.

It Has A Calendar, An Alarm,

A Stopwatch. You Can Program In Appointments--

He Doesn't Want To Buy The Watch, Ok?

Just Get Away From Him.

He's Not Gonna Hurt Us, Is He?

No, Gilbert. I Don't Think He Is.

Oh, My Gosh. He Smells Horrible.

What's He Doing?

What's He Doing? What's He Doing?

He Likes Your Hair.

Must Be My New Conditioner.

It Attracts Dead Guys.

I'm Gonna Keep Him.

You Can't Keep Him.

Well, We Can't Turn Him In.

They'll Take Him Somewhere And Experiment On Him.

What Do You Mean, Experiment?

Cut Him Open. Dissect Him.

Pack Him In Formaldehyde.

They Will?

Of Course. Didn't You See E.T.?

I Gotta Go

Or My Mom's Gonna Come Looking For Me.

And I Don't Want Her To Find Him.

Right. We Better Go.

Stay.

Stay.

Good Boy.

You'll Be Safe Here.

We'll Lock Him In The House

And Figure Out What To Do Tomorrow.

We'll Be Back Tomorrow, Ok?

He Talks.

That Was A Grunt.

It's Kind Of Like Talking.

Hey, That's More Than My Dad Says In A Month.

I Think He Understands Me.

How Do You Know?

I Just Know.

Thanks For Finding My Glasses.

See You Tomorrow.

Did You Tell Your Mom?

Of Course Not.

She Wouldn't Have Believed Me Anyway.

What About Your Mom's New Boyfriend?

He's A Big Guy--

No! We Don't Need Him, Ok?

Ok, Relax.

I Was Just Thinking Maybe We Should Tell Somebody.

Well, I Was Going To Tell My Mother

But She Was Having A Tea Party For Her Dolls.

When She Does That...

Well, It's Best Not To Interrupt Her.

If We're Not Telling Our Parents

Maybe We Should Tell The Cops Or Animal Control.

Or The Psychic Friends Network Or Somebody.

No Way! He's Ours.

We Found Him, We Gonna Keep Him.

At Least Until We Figure Out What To Do With Him.

Hey, Amy.

I'm Busy, Todd.

I Know, But I Was Just--

Todd.

I Was Just Wondering--

Don't Make Me Hurt You, Todd.

Ok. Ok. Sorry.

He's Got A Big Crush On Me

But It's Definitely Not Going To Happen.

Why Not?

He Saw That Olsen Twins Movie Twice.

How Can You Respect A Guy Like That?

I See Your Point.

Hey, Amy, Do You Think He'll Be Ok?

Maybe I Should Skip School And Go Take Care Of Him.

Marshall, He's A Monster.

Monsters Don't Need Babysitters.

Anyway, I Still Say We Should Leave Him Alone.

He Could Be Dangerous.

If He Was Going To Eat Us, He Would Have Eaten Us Last Night.

Mummies Don't Eat People.

They Don't?

No, That's Zombies.

Zombies Eat People?

They Eat Your Brain.

Well, Who Cuts Off Their Head?

That's Banshees.

And What's A Banshee?

It's Like A Scarecrow, Only Meaner.

What About Mummies?

Well, They're Big And Strong And Completely Reek,

But Other Than That, You Got Me.

Well, If We're Gonna Hang Out With A Mummy

We Need To Find Out More About Him.

I Know Just The Guy Who Can Tell Us Everything.

Bruce?

Hey, Bruce!

There's Nobody Here.

That Looks So Incredibly Fake.

It Does Not.

It Does Too. That Blood Looks Like Kool-Aid.

And What Is This?

A Chicken Bone?

Well, Excuse Me.

I Didn't Have Any Actual Spinal Chord Lying Around.

You Guys Are Beyond Help. You Know That?

Bruce, This Is Amy And Gilbert.

Nice To Meet You Guys.

Hey, Did You See The New Warthead Movie?

It Was Great.

Tell Me About It.

Much More Imaginative Kill Factor.

Did You See Him Field Dress That Highway Patrolman With A Spatula?

I Don't Care What Siskel And Ebert Say, That Was Art.

Are You Guys Just Browsing Today

Or Are You Looking For Something Special?

Actually, We Just Need Some Information.

Information I Got Plenty Of.

Do You Know Anything About Mummies?

Mummies? Why Do You Guys Want To Know About Mummies?

We're Doing A Report For School.

Really? And They Say The Public School System Sucks.

Come On Back.

Let's See What We've Got Back Here.

Ghosts, Astral Projection, Vampires...

Ah, Here We Go.

"Mummy: Monsters Of Modern Myth"

Hey, If You Want I Could Read Your Palms.

No, Thank You.

No, Really, Palms, Tea Leaves, Tarot Cards.

I Took A Correspondence Course

So I Can Read Pretty Much Anything.

You'd Be Amazed What Varicose Veins Say About A Person.

I Had My Mom In Here For About A Week.

We're In A Big Hurry.

No Problem. I Completely Understand.

Let's See...

Here It Is.

"The Mummy Monsters Of Modern Myth

"Are Said To Be The Guardians Of The Pharaohs And Queens Of Ancient Egypt.

"Buried In An Elaborate Coffin Called A Sarcophagus,

"The Mummy Sprang From His Uneasy Sleep To Rage Vengeance

On Whoever Dared Be Foolish Enough To Disturb The Holy Crypt."

Blah, Blah, Blah, But You Get The Gist Of It.

That's The Only Way They Can Come Back To Life?

Why? You Got A Mummy You Want To Bring Back?

You Know, It's Not That Easy--

Spit It Out, Bruce. I'm Getting Old Here.

Ok. "Every Year During The Festival Of The Dead--

You Mean Like Halloween?

Yeah. Just Like Halloween.

Except Back Then When You Trick Or Treated, They Ate You.

"The Spirit Of The Mummy May Be Freed By The Purity Of The Full Moon

"And Loosed To Walk The Earth.

"But If He Does Not Return To His Tomb

"By Midnight Of That Most Evil Of Nights,

"He Will Dissolve Into A Pillar Of Dust

And His Soul Will Be Lost Forever."

Settle Down, All Right? It's Ok.

It's A Trick I Use When The Spirits Are On Vacation.

See. Look. On... Off.

On...

Off.

Ooooh

You Guys Seem A Little Jumpy. Are You Sure Everything's All Right?

Sure. Fine.

What's That?

That's The Symbol Of The Eye Of Ra,

The Egyptian Sun God.

That's The Symbol On The Top Of The Coffin.

Pardon Me?

Nothing. We Gotta Go.

No, No. Wait A Minute.

Come Back Here!

Hey, I Distinctly Heard The Word Coffin.

So What Are Gonna Do With Him?

We'll Just Talk To Him.

About What?

Gee, I Don't Know... Hi. How's It Going?

A Lot's Happened Since You Died.

Wanna See Me Pick My Scab?

Get Out Of My Way, Leonard.

And Take Your Blanket With You.

This Isn't A Blanket. It's A Rag.

I Carry It Around In Case I Have To Wipe Up Something.

Yeah, Right. And I'm Not Wearing A Bra,

I'm Wearing A Bulletproof Vest.

You're Wearing A Bra?

Oh, Shut Up.

You Missed The Big Yellow Truck.

What Yellow Truck?

The One They Loaded All Mr. Kubat's Stuff Into.

Bye.

Everything's Gone.

Do You Think He's Still Here?

Who's Still Here?

Ah, Hi, Mom.

I Was Just About To Show This House To The Michaels.

Mom, Do You Know What Happened To Mr. Kubat's Furniture?

It Was Impounded.

Everything?

Yes. The I.R.S. Confiscated It To Pay Off His Back Taxes,

But I Don't Think They're Going To Get Very Much For It.

What Are You Kids Up To?

What About All The Art Work And Other Stuff?

He Didn't Really Have Any Artwork.

What Other Stuff Are You Talking About?

We Heard He Kept A Lot Of Antique Things In The Basement.

The Basement Was Empty When The Movers Got Here.

Empty?

I Mean, How Very Odd.

There Were A Few Old Boxes But That Was It.

What Are You Kids Really Up To?

We're Doing A Report For School.

On Mr. Kubat?

Gotta Go, Mom.

Hi. Welcome To Dairy Freeze. May I Take Your Order?

May I Take Your Order, Please?

Hello.

Ok. Would You Like Fries With That?

Ok. So That's Two Double Cheeseburgers, A Small Fries, And An Orange Soda?

Ok, Ok, Sorry.

A Jumbo Orange Soda.

Ok, That'll Be $3.74. Please Come Around.

Ok.

Oh, Mommy, Look At That Ugly Man.

Now, Sweetie, I Told You Not To Talk About People That Way.

But Look At His Face!

Honey, It's Not Polite To Stare.

Now I Told You, Some People Are Just Born Special.

Well, This Guy's Really Special.

I'll Be With You In A Minute.

Don't Get Smart With Me.

I Said I'll Be With You In A Minute.

Fill Out These Forms, Please.

Ooooh!

Oooh!

Ooooh!

Oh No! Oh No!

Doctor! Doctor, I've Got Our Burn Victim!

That's Ok. I Know You're In A Lot Of Pain.

Oh, No. Looks Like He Tried To Treat Himself.

Get Him On A Gurney.

I Can't Get A Heartbeat!

No Pulse! Code Blue!

Clear!

Ooooh!

Nothing!

Let's Hit Him Again!

Oooooh!

Where Are You Going? Come Back!

We'll Probably Never See Him Again.

Thank Goodness.

Let's Cut Him Off.

Come On!

Where Is He?

Where Have You Been?

You Know The Scary This Is,

I Understood Every Bit Of That.

We've Got To Get Him Out Of Here.

We'll Sneak Him Into My House.

What If Your Mom Finds Him?

Just Tell Her He's A Foreign Exchange Student.

Well, My Mom Would Believe It.

He'll Be Fine At My House.

Ted's Over All The Time

So She's Used To Big Clunky Guys Stomping Around The Place.

Come On!

Marshall?

Hi, Mom.

Hi.

Uuh!

It's Ok. It's Ok.

It's Not Real.

See?

Marshall?

Marshall?

Just Go. Go.

What Was That Noise?

What Noise?

Well, It Sounded Like "You Were Coming Through The Ceiling" Noise.

Oh, That Noise.

Uh-Hmm.

We Were...

Clogging.

Clogging?

Yeah. Amy Was Teaching Us How.

Right, Amy?

Go Ahead. Show Mom What You Can Do.

Quickly, So She Can Be On Her Way.

Wow! Hey, She's Good.

All Right. Ok. Well, You Guys--

Aaaaaah!

Wow! This One's Good!

Is He New?

Just Got Him.

Not Bad.

Marshall, Dinner's In 15 Minutes.

And Clean This Room. It's Really Starting To Stink.

I Can't Take This!

Clogging? What Is This, Hee-Haw?

Hey, It Worked, Didn't It?

Yeah, But Next Time

Think Of An Idea That Makes You Look Like A Dork.

Your Mom's Right. You've Got To Do Something About This Smell.

Ugh, What Is That?

Hai Karate.

I Think You're Gonna Need The Whole Bottle.

Oh, Don't Be Such A Baby.

We've Got To Get Him Back Inside His Coffin

Or Sarcophagus Or Refrigerator Box Or Whatever It's Called

By Midnight Tomorrow Night Or Else.

Stop It!

Stop It. Put It Down.

Come On!

So, What Are We Gonna Call Him?

How About "Mummy"?

How About "Harold"?

Harold?

I Don't Know. He Looks Like My Uncle Harold.

Geez, Your Aunt Must Be Ready To Open A Vein!

Harold's A Good Name. I'm Gonna Call Him Harold.

Fine. Whatever. But I Just Want You To Know

Harold's Eating Your Goldfish.

Spit It Out!

Spit It Out! Spit It Out Now!

I Can't Take My Eyes Off Him For One Second.

This Is Like Having A Puppy.

Yeah, A Puppy The Size Of A Buick.

™�♪

Turn That Off!

Please, Quick, Before I Gag!

Stop It! Put It Down!

Put It Down!

Take Out The Batteries!

Geez, He Must Really Love That Song.

It's Empty.

That's The Way We Found It.

It's Not My Fault.

Then We Have A Difference Of Opinion

Because I Consider It Completely Your Fault.

It's Got To Be Stored With The Other Stuff.

Then Find It.

How Hard Can It Be?

It's Not Like It Got Up And Walked Away.

It's My Mom.

My Mom And Her New Boyfriend, Ted.

My Parents Divorced A Few Years Ago,

And My Dad's Been Real Busy Lately,

So He Doesn't Come By Much.

It's Ok. It's Not Like It's A Big Deal Or Anything.

Ever Been In Love?

Probably So.

You Probably Got Married Forever In Your Day.

But Now, Love Doesn't Seem To Mean Much Anymore.

Most Of My Friends' Parents Are Divorced Or They Hate Each Other.

I Mean, What's The Point, Right?

I'm Going To Bed.

For Me?

Gee... Thanks.

Oh, No.

I Can't Believe You Let Him Get Away.

What Am I Going To Do, Handcuff Him?

Harold!

I Can't Believe You Guys Talked Me Into This.

We Can Get In So Much Trouble.

If I Were You, I'd Just Worry About Someone Seeing Me In Those Pajamas.

Did They Come Like That Or Did You Have To Cut Out The Feet?

Hey, My Grandmother Gave Me These.

Don't Tell Me You Don't Have Some Embarrassing Pajamas At Home.

I Don't Wear Pajamas. I Sleep In The Nude.

Uuh!

Oh, Geez, Gilbert, Grow Up.

You Know, We Should Probably Split Up.

He Could Be Anywhere.

Or He Could Be Right Here.

We Shouldn't Be Here. We're Going To Get Caught.

Maybe That Doesn't Mean Much To You Two,

But I'm A Boy Scout And One Day I Want To Make Eagle,

And That's Going To Be Very Hard To Do If I'm Off In Sing-Sing

Doing Serious Jail Time.

Harold, Get Out Of There!

Leave Him Alone.

But He's Gonna Break Something.

"This Diorama Depicts The Entombing Of A Queen And Her High Priest.

"The High Priest Was The Bodyguard, Confidant,

"And Advisor To The Queen.

Sworn To Be By Her Side In This Life And The Next."

Think Harold's A High Priest?

Looks Like To Me.

"The High Priest Swore A Vow Of Celibacy,

Dedicating Every Waking Minute To The Service Of His Queen."

What's Celibacy?

No Chicks.

Oh. I Could Never Do That.

You'll Get Used To It.

What's He Doing Now?

It Looks Like He Knows Her.

Maybe He Wasn't So Celibate After All.

C'mon, Buddy, What Is It?

They Were In Love.

Dispatch, We're Going To Need Some Backup.

Harold, We Gotta Get Outta Here.

He's Reading It.

Those Marking Are Just Like The Ones In That Book Bruce Showed Us.

Yeah, The Ones That Said He Had To Be Back In His Sarcophagus

By Midnight On Halloween Or...

Or Else.

He Knows, Doesn't He?

You Do, Don't You?

Don't Worry About It. We'll Think Of Something.

We Definitely Have A Problem.

Marshall!

I Think I Hear Something. I'm Gonna Check It Out.

Ok. Keep Me Advised.

Whoever Was Here, They're Gone Now.

Roger. Return Back To Base.

Hey.

Hey.

You Look Awful.

I Was Up All Night.

The Only Way I Could Keep Harold In The Room

Was To Let Him Watch Tv.

Harold Watched Tv?

Pretty Woman, Ghost, Sleepless In Seattle,

Every Sappy Movie He Could Get His Hands On.

I Swear The Guy Went Through Two Boxes Of Tissue

And Then Started Using My Bedspread.

Marshall, I'm Worried We Might Not Be Able To Pull This Off.

Don't Worry. He'll Be Fine.

It's Not Him I'm Worried About, It's You.

I Mean, You're So Attached To Him

And If We Can't Do This, Then...

He's Just A Mummy.

It's Not Like He's A Real Friend, Ok?

Ok, I Do Care About Him.

I Know It Sounds Stupid,

But He Had A Home, A Job,

A Girlfriend He Really Loved

Even Though They Had To Keep It A Secret From Everyone.

And Now...

Well, Now We're All He's Got.

He's Counting On Us.

And Nobody's Ever Counted On Me For Anything Before.

I Can't Let Him Down.

That's No Fair, You Stole All The Ammo!

I Got Ya!

Give Me That!

Drop It!

So It Would Help If You'd Stop Playing Cowboys And Indians With The Monster!

He Started It.

What's That?

What's What?

That's A Mummy. Cool.

Yes, It's Very Cool. Now Get! Go Home!

He Must Belong In That Big Mummy Coffin.

You Saw It?

They Took It Out Of Mr. Kubat's House And Put It In The Yellow Truck.

What Else Can You Tell Us About The Yellow Truck?

Well, It Was Very Yellow.

You Said That! Leonard, This Is Very Important.

We've Got To Get This Mummy Inside His Coffin

By Midnight Or Else...

He's Not Going To Be A Mummy Anymore.

Tell Us Everything You Know About That Truck.

Quickly, Before I Rip Out Your Lungs.

Did It Have Any Writing On It?

Yes, It Did.

Good! What Did It Say?

I Don't Know. I Can't Read.

Ok, He's Dead. Goodbye, Leonard.

Forget It. Let's Go.

If You Find Him, Don't Ask The Guy For Any Ice Cream

'Cause He Won't Give It To You.

The Erin's Ice Cream Trucks Are Yellow.

Yeah, They Used To Have A Factory Out By The Orchard.

We'll Take Him Out There And See If We Can Find It.

How? If We Take Him As Is

I'm Pretty Sure He's Gonna Draw A Crowd.

Not A Problem.

We Need Clothes.

Big Clothes.

Big Cheap Clothes.

™�♪

Aaaaah!

C'mon, Let's Get Outta Here!

It's Too High.

Then I'll Climb It.

And How Are You Gonna Do That?

I Just Need A Boost.

Do You See Anything?

No.

These Stupid Binoculars, They're Useless.

When You Get Your Surveillance Equipment Out Of A Happy Meal,

What Do You Expect?

I'm Going Over There.

What?

Lift Me Higher.

Aaaah!

Uh-Oh.

Marshall?

Marshall?

Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!

I'm Ok.

He's Ok.

I'll Be Right Back.

No, Don't!

Ok, I Assume Everything Is In Place.

Not Really.

You Told Him To Meet Us Here?

Not Quite.

Someone Must Have Stolen It.

I Checked With The Other Moving Company But They're Clean.

The Buyer's Coming Tonight.

He's Not Going To Be Happy With An Empty Box.

Don't Worry. We'll Find It, Mr. Kubat.

You Better.

Get Down! Shhh!

What Are You Doing Here?

Shhhhh!

Come On!

No!

They'll See You!

We Found It. That's The Important Thing.

We'll Go Back And Figure Out A Way To Get It Out Of Here.

Look. Don't Worry.

I Won't Let You Down.

Come On!

Come On!

Where Are They?

Aaaaahh!

Marshall!

Next Time, We're Getting A Ladder.

Did You See Anything?

We Saw Plenty.

So?

Kubat's Got The Coffin.

What?

Marshall, Kubat's Dead.

Uuuugh!

Yeah, Well So Is Harold.

And That Doesn't Seem To Slow Him Down Much.

Are You Ok?

Are You Sure Kubat's Still Alive?

Positive.

He Must Have Somehow Faked His Own Death.

Why?

He And Four Other Goons Are Going To Sell The Coffin.

What Are We Going To Do?

We've Got To Get Harold Back Inside That Thing By Midnight.

Are You Crazy? This Could Be Dangerous.

Kubat's Got Goons. We Have No Goons.

All We've Got Is A 3,000-Year-Old Mummy

And A Pair Of Mayor Mccheese Binoculars!

Then We'll Just Have To Be Smarter Than Them.

And We Don't Have Much Time. Right, Harold?

We'll Have To Find Something Big Enough

To Haul Away That Sarcophagus.

Who Do We Know That's Got A Car Big Enough To Do That?

Bruce. And I Know Just Where He Is,

But We'll Need Costumes.

Costumes?

Boss!

I Just Seen A Bunch Of Kids Run Off.

I Think They've Been Pokin' Around In Here.

Were They Alone?

Not Quite.

Tell Me Exactly What You Saw.

You're Not Going To Believe It.

Try Me.

Naa Naa Na Naa Na!

Why Are You So Sure He'll Be Here?

It's A Halloween Carnival.

Bruce Built The Haunted House.

He's Got To Be Here.

So, How Do You Like My Costume?

Well, What Are You Supposed To Be?

I Know. Mrs. Howell From Gilligan's Island.

Come On! I'm Dennis Rodman.

You Look More Like His Sister, Mavis.

Ok, So You're Saying The Feathers Are Too Much?

Yeah, Look, We'll Go Inside And Find Bruce.

You Stay Out Here With Harold.

We'll Be Right Back. Ok, Harold?

How Come I Have To Stay Out Here?

She's Not Even In Costume.

Gee, The Resemblance Is Uncanny.

Shut Up.

Hi!

Aaaahhhhhhh!

Huh?

He Does Look A Little Gruesome.

Maybe We Should Clean Him Up A Little Bit.

Don't Be Such A Baby.

They Look Like They Really Like Each Other.

Yeah.

He Looks Nice.

Too Nice.

They Always Are At First.

You Know, They Want To Make A Good Impression.

You Know, Stepmothers And Stepfathers Are The Only Adults

Who Ever Care About Making A Good Impression On Kids.

They Can Do Whatever They Want.

It Doesn't Bother Me.

Marshall?

If It Ever Does Start To... You Know, Bother You,

You Could Always Talk To Me About It.

I Guess, If You Wanted To.

Thanks.

Let's Go Find Bruce.

I'm Thirsty. I'm Thirsty And Bored.

Next Time, Marshall Gets To Stay Outside With The Monster.

No Offense.

I Think There's A Soda Machine Inside.

I'll Go Get Us Something And Be Right Back.

Don't Move!

Bruce!

Hey Hey, Marshall!

What Do You Think? Not Bad, Huh?

Not Bad!

Oh, The Pain! The Pain!

Not Bad At All.

Bruce, We Have To Talk!

Aw, Later. I'm Doing Killer Business.

Two Bucks A Pop.

Nice Snakes.

You Want To Walk Through?

No, We Don't Have Time.

Bruce, We Found A Mummy.

Yeah, I Know What You Mean, The Room's Full Of Them.

I Went To The Bathroom A Few Minutes Ago

And Ran Into Four Freddy Kruegers, Two Pinheads, And A Martha Stewart.

No, You Don't Understand. We Found A Real One.

What Are You Guys Talking About?

Come On.

Ah, Wait A Minute. I've Got A Million Customers Here.

Come On!

I'm Making Big Money Here!

™� All By Myself ♪

There He Is!

Harold, I Got You A--

Harold?

Harold!

Don't Make A Scene.

Get Him And Get Out.

Ah, Oh. This Is Bad.

This Is Very Bad!

Marshall.

™� Making Love Was Just For Fun ♪

♪ Those Days Are Gone ♪

♪ Living Alone Is The Hardest Thing I've Known ♪

♪ When I'm Dying To Tell A Friend ♪

♪ Nobody's Home ♪

♪ All By Myself ♪

♪ Don't Wanna Be ♪

♪ All By Myself ♪

♪ Anymore ♪

♪ All By Myself ♪

♪ Don't Wanna Live ♪

♪ All By Myself ♪

Hello.

Thank You.

Thank You, My Loyal Subject.

Come On.

Get Up!

You're Embarrassing Me.

Have You Gotten Taller?

Where Have You Been Anyway?

I Turned Around And You Were Gone.

Oh, Who Cares,

Dance With Me!

What Is That?

Hai Karate?

They Stopped Making That Stuff Years Ago.

Usually That Stuff Disgusts Me, But On You...

Baby, It Works!

Split Up!

You, Over There.

™� All By Myself ♪

There You Are.

What Are You Doing?

I Don't Care How Old You Are,

You're Not Drinking Around Me, You Big Idiot.

Hey.

Don't You "Hey" Me!

We Gotta Get Outta Here!

We're In Big Trouble. Where's Marshall?

Gilbert.

I Don't Want To Hear It.

Ok, So You're Not Harold.

So You Would Be...

Mr. Hammer, Your Principal.

Oh, No. I Just Smacked My Principal. Not Good.

Not Good At All.

Bye!

™� Making Love Was Just For Fun ♪

♪ Those Days Are Gone ♪

And You Want Me To Help You Steal Back The Sarcophagus

And Return It To The Museum

So He Can Be Reunited With His True Love.

I Told You He'd Understand.

Those Princess Leia Earmuffs

Must Be Cutting Off The Oxygen To Your Brain.

I Suggest You Two Take A Nice Walk Around The Block.

It's True!

Of Course It Is. You Kids Beat It.

I'm Trying To Make Money Here.

C'mon, Bruce!

™� All My Myself ♪

You Know, I Don't Even Know Your Name.

Oh, You're Right. Who Cares?

We've Found Each Other.

And That's All That Matters.

Ooh!

Harold, Is That You?

We Gotta Get Outta Here!

Where Are You Going?

Sorry, Ma'am, We Gotta Go.

Who Are You, His Son?

No, Ma'am, He's Celibate.

Well, I Don't Think So.

Phil, Who Is This Woman

And Why Is She Hanging All Over You?

Excuse Me, But Who Are You?

His Wife!

You're Married?!

What's Going On?

Oh... Phil?

Well, Of Course.

Well, If That's Your Husband,

Then Who Is This?

Yeah?

Have You Ladies Had Refreshments?

I Think My Mom Made A Nice Cheese Log.

I Say We Just Take A Look.

Oh, No, Ma'am, You Really Don't Want To Do That.

Oh, Yes, I Do.

Hey, Boss. Look.

Hi.

Aaaaaah!

We Gotta Get Outta Here! Go, Go, Go, Go!

C'mon, Get Outta Here!

Bye.

How Long Can We Hold 'Em?

He Looks Like He's Getting Weaker.

That Must Be Because It's Close To Midnight!

We Gotta Get Him Outta Here!

Bruce, Let's Get Him In Your Hearse.

No Way! I'm Not Going Anywhere With That Thing!

Did We Mention That The Guys Chasing Us Are Heavily Armed?

Ok. Who Wants A Ride?

C'mon, Harold.

Harold! Come On, We've Got To Move!

Harold!

If We Don't Leave, They'll Get Us All!

Nooooooooo!

Don't Let This Thing Get Away!

We've Got To Go To The Police.

Oh, Yeah. That'll Work.

Excuse Me, Officer. These Kids Have Re-Animated A 3,000-Year-Old Mummy

And He's Been Captured.

Oh, By Whom, You Ask?

Well, He's An Old Museum Curator

Who, Unfortunately, Died Last Week.

Well, What Are We Supposed To Do?

We Gotta Get Him Back.

I'll Understand If You Don't Want To Help.

I'll Do It Myself If I Have To, But I Can't Leave Him.

I Just Can't Let Him Down.

All Right, I'll Help.

I Have To Help. If Anything Happens To You, I Lose My Best Customer.

Heck, Let's Be Honest. You're My Only Customer.

But You've Got To Promise Me Nothing Else Weird Happens.

I Mean, She's Not Like A Vampire, Is She?

Marshall!

C'mon, You Guys. We Can Do This, Right?

There's A Guy Wandering Around Out Front.

He Must Be The Lookout.

So, What Do We Do Now?

We Need A Plan.

But First We've Got To Figure Out What We've Got To Work With.

Everybody, Empty Your Pockets.

We Have 87 Cents, A Set Of Car Keys,

Three Chiclets, And One Match.

Ok, We Got Nothing.

Wait A Second.

I Think This Will Do.

Gilbert, C'mon.

I'm Just Gonna Wait In The Hearse.

What?

Look, I Like Harold And Everything,

But I Can't Go In There.

I'm Just Too Scared.

It's Ok, Gilbert.

Don't Worry About It.

It's Ok.

Help!

Please Help Me!

Are You Ok?

My Eye! My Eye!

C'mon, Bruce, Hit Him!

Body Slam!

Body Slam!

Grrrrrr!

We Gotta Tie Him Up.

You Got The Intestines?

That Ought To Keep Him Quiet.

Ok, You Guys Sneak Upstairs And Create A Diversion.

I'll Run Around Back And Try To Get Harold.

Wait, Wait. What Do We Do Now?

We're Out Of Stuff.

You'll Think Of Something.

So, Have You Got A Plan?

None Whatsoever.

Why Does That Not Surprise Me?

I've Got To Start Hanging Out With People My Own Age.

I Came To Buy A Sarcophagus!

What Do You Mean The Deal Is Off?

Let's Just Say There's Been A Change Of Plans.

No, You Can't Do This To Me.

I Believe I Can Do Just About Anything I Want With You.

Fine. I See Your Point.

Now We're Going To Keep The Whole Thing Just Between The Two Us, Right?

I've Got It!

You Run Out In The Middle Of The Warehouse And Yell "Fire!"

You're Kidding, Right?

You Got A Better Idea?

Than Running Out There Like An Idiot And Getting Shot?!

No, But Give Me A Second.

Maybe A Little Fire Isn't Such A Bad Idea.

Harold, Are You All Right?

Shh. They'll Hear You.

We Gotta Find Some Way To Get You Outta Here.

I Know. Kubat's Men Are All Around.

Now, We've Got To Find--

I Know. It's Good To See You Too.

What?

Oh. Oh.

Sorry.

I Gotta Find Some Way To Get You Outta Here.

I'll Be Back. Hold On.

How Come I Had To Be The One To Climb All The Way Up Here?

Because You're Taller.

That's A Stupid Reason.

I Can't Reach It.

So Lean Out Further.

I Found This.

That Was Close.

Don't Worry. I'll Get You Out Of Here.

Aaah! Aaah!

Are You Ok?

I'm Fine. Good Thing They Make These Things So Sturdy.

Yaaaaa!

Way To Go, Bruce!

Could You Have Possibly Made A Bigger Mess?

Maybe Nobody Heard Us.

Move It! C'mon!

Hey, Come Back Here!

Come On, Harold, Pull!

Get Out Of Here!

Ok, Let's Go. We've Got To Push This Out Front

And See If We Can Get It Into Bruce's--

I Don't Think So.

I Guess I Should Thank You.

I Don't Know How You Did It.

I Mean, I've Read All The Myths About Mummies

And Full Moons And Festivals Of The Dead,

But I Never Thought It Would Actually Work.

Why Don't You Just Leave Him Alone?

Oh, I Don't Think So. He's Worth Far Too Much Money

To Let Him Rot In Some Coffin.

Why Did You Do It All Anyway?

Fake Your Death And Everything?

Well, Over The Years I Was Able To Procure

Many Wonderful Artifacts

Such As Your Friend Here.

I Was Gonna Retire,

Wait A Few Years, Slowly Sell Off The Pieces,

But, Unfortunately, The Irs Started To Investigate Me For Tax Evasion,

And I Wasn't About To Go To Jail.

And You Can't Arrest A Dead Man.

I See You're Already Ahead Of Me.

Harold.

I've Got To Get Him Back Inside This Sarcophagus Before It's Too Late.

Please.

Oh, Believe Me, It Is Too Late.

My Friends Will Go To The Police!

You'll Never Get Away With It!

Get The Mummy.

Take The Rest Of Them Over To The Other Warehouse

And Get Rid Of Them.

Get Rid Of Us? You Mean Give Us A Lift Home?

I Didn't Think So.

What's That?!

You Know, This Thing's A Lot Faster That It Looks.

Very Noble! Now You All Can Go Down Together.

Gilbert!

Gilbert!

Gilbert! Can You Hear Us?

Quit Yelling. I'm Fine.

You Have Caused Me Enough Trouble,

So Take Your Friend And Walk Away.

Leave Him With Me.

Marshall!

He's Not Gonna Do Anything.

He's Bluffing.

I Never Bluff.

Aaaah!

Yaaaaa!

Harold!

Marshall!

All Right!

Marshall...

When I Saw That Gun I Thought... Well...

What?

Well, If Something Ever Happened To You...

Well, It Didn't, So Everything's Ok. Right?

Right.

What's Wrong With Harold?

Harold? Harold?

It's Almost Midnight.

We've Got To Get Him In The Sarcophagus And Back To The Museum.

Bruce, Have You Ever Driven An Ice Cream Truck?

He Wants To Say Goodbye.

Oh, No. Here We Go Again.

C'mon, Harold. You Gotta Go.

Goodbye, Harold.

I'm Gonna Miss You, Harold.

Goodbye, Harold.

I'm Gonna Miss Him.

Me Too.

Why Are You Throwing All Your Stuff Away?

I Guess I've Just Outgrown It All.

Things Have Been Kind Of Crazy Lately.

We Haven't Had Much Chance To Talk.

Are You Doing Ok, Marshall?

I Mean, About Ted And Me?

Sure. Fine.

I'm Fine.

Ok.

Do You Love Him?

What?

This Ted Guy. Do You Really Love Him?

Hmmm, Yeah, I Do.

Then You Should Marry Him.

People Who Love Each Other Should Be Together

And Other People Shouldn't Stand In Their Way.

What Brought About This Big Change?

I Don't Know.

I Guess A Friend Helped Me See Things A Little Differently.

But You Gotta Tell Ted To Lighten Up.

Stop Being So Nice.

I Can Do That.

Marshall?

Up Here.

Hey.

Hey.

We're Gonna Be Late For The Movies.

All Right, Just A Second.

I Told Amy To Meet Us Here.

Amy's Coming?

Yeah. Why?

Does This Match?

What Is This, The House Of Style?

How Would I Know And Why Do You Care, Anyway?

Listen, It's Amy.

Yeah, And Your Point Is...?

Gel. Gel.

Your Point's Gel?

What Are You Doing?

Marshall, Is There Something You Want To Tell Me?

Like Have You Experienced Some Type Of Severe Head Injury?

Leave Me Alone.

Hi.

Hi.

Nice Dress.

Thanks.

My Aunt Was Buried In One Just Like It.

Oh, Is That A New Hairdo,

Or Did You Just Change The Oil In The Old One?

Geek.

Loser.

Good. For A Minute I Thought Something Weird Was Going On.

Hey, Wait Up!

So What Movie Are We Going To See?

Warthead.

You've Seen It Three Times.

And I Learn More About The Character Every Time.

What's To Learn? He's A Monster, He Eats People.

It Is Such A Cultural Stereotype.