Original subtitles

Subtitles by explosiveskull www.OpenSubtitles.org

That's the sideboard I think.

She's quite cross, wasn't she?

Come on, let's get you to bed, shall we?

♪ How does it feel ♪

♪ Runnin' around round round ♪

♪ How does it feel ♪

♪ Watchin' from upside down ♪

♪ 'Cause many years from now ♪

♪ There will be new elations ♪

♪ And new frustrations ♪

♪ How does it feel ♪

♪ Oh ♪

♪ Oh ♪

♪ Do you know know know what it's like ♪

♪ To be searchin' in your own time ♪

♪ All your attemptin', experimentin' ♪

♪ All on the climb ♪

♪ Do you know know know what it's like ♪

♪ To be searchin' and suddenly find ♪

♪ All your illusion, all your confusion ♪

♪ All left behind ♪

God, I'm knackered.

Come on.

Let's get you into bed too.

Bet you say that to all the girls.

Oh no.

Oh Jesus, I'm sorry.

I know, I know.

Come on.

Let's go up and have a snuggle.

I'd rather have a fuck.

Temperatures will rise much above

50 degrees in the region.

Some parts may drop below zero,

temperatures going as low as 27 or 28.

It's time to snuggle up.

Good news is Sunday is looking like

it's going to be one of the brightest

we've seen in some time.

Here you go.

We might even get a bit of sun.

Can you turn that down a bit, love?

Yeah, I just need to hear this bit.

The high 50s or even 60 in some parts.

This will take us through to Monday

- Yes. - Yes what?

Yes please, dad.

Thank you.

Finally, we've heard news

that the Sunday racing at Aintree and Doncaster

may be on after a.

C'mon.

Keep up.

Wait here.

It's me!

What are you doing?

Bastard.

Bastard!

Mom!

Mom, wait!

What's the matter?

Was it Mr. Bastard?

Mom.

Now the weather with Ted Fairfax.

Good afternoon.

He turned me off!

He turned me off of his life just like that!

I didn't.

Yes, he did.

He did, he did.

Stop it!

Shut up!

He did it.

Shall I go and see Smelly then dad?

Yeah, you better had.

Come on then, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh.

Come on.

Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh.

I know, I know.

Doctor Henty.

Hi, Marie.

Keith.

Look, I'm sorry to call so late.

Oh no, no.

Us GPs, we've got very little to do

apart from sit by the phone waiting for a call.

How can I help?

It's Gina.

I think she's on the road to bonkersville again.

She's been chasing that Ted thingy.

You know, the weather forecaster off the local news.

She dragged Alice round to his house.

Do you think you can get her down to the surgery?

Do you want me to do one my ultra subtle

slide pasts tomorrow morning?

Would you?

I'm sorry to ask.

It's all right.

It's what I'm here for.

Dad!

Morning, sweetheart.

Mom's lying in the khazi again.

She's on the roof with Smelly.

Okay.

The roof.

Fuck!

Fuck!

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!

Oh, fuck.

♪ Ride it all out like a bird in the skyways ♪

♪ Ride it all out like you were a bird ♪

Go Away! ♪ Fly it all out ♪

I don't want you. ♪ Like an eagle in a sunbeam ♪

I want Teddy Fairfax.

He's on the telly at the minute, love,

reading the weather.

Why don't you come down and we'll talk about it.

No.

Mom.

Come down this minute, young lady.

I want Smelly.

No, Smelly's my present for Teddy.

To show him how much I truly love Smelly.

Oh come on love, Smelly looks a bit scared.

Let's get him down, clean him up a bit.

You can't give him as a present to anybody in that state.

All right then.

- There you go. - I'll put him back.

Nice catch.

All right.

Gina, I'll take you to see Teddy.

No, you won't.

You're just saying that to get me down.

Right, hang on.

♪ Wear a tall hat like a druid in the old days ♪

♪ Wear a tall hat and a tattooed gown ♪

♪ Ride a white swan ♪

- Hello. - Sandra, I need help.

There is no fuzzy news agent now, Keith.

I don't do that wet tea towel in the bush thing anymore.

Sandra, it's a fucking emergency.

Gina's on the roof half naked.

What's going on, Sandra?

Barb, keep your nose out of my business.

Bloody hell.

I see what you mean.

Uh-oh.

Daddy managed to get Smelly down,

but mommy can't roll down like that, can she daddy?

What are we gonna do?

Shall I just go up and try and have a word with her?

Unless you...

Oh, be my guest.

You know I'm no good with.

I'm not a bloody woodworm.

Gina.

What?

Sandra's gonna come up and talk to you.

Not that big fat ginger slapper.

Sorry, Sandra.

I've heard worse.

Hi, Gina.

Fuck off.

Oh come on Gina, come down.

It's freezing.

If you'd have taken notice of the weather forecast,

you would have seen that it's going to be

mild with sunny outbreaks later.

For Christ's sake, Gina,

this ladder's going to bloody break.

Come on down.

No.

You promise you won't do anything?

About what?

Take me back to that shithole.

I couldn't stand it, please.

Please Sandra.

Do I look like a bullshitter?

Keep hold of her, Sandra.

I'll go and get some clothes.

Go get a dressing gown.

She's not going to a fucking job interview.

Sandra, can I get the swearing portion down please?

Sorry, get a shift on.

Getting a chair blankie.

Here we go, here we go.

Come here, come here.

All right, all right.

Here we go, here we go.

All right, we're gonna have to go in your mini, Sandra.

Mine is still up on blocks.

Oh bloody hell.

Can I help.

Yes you can.

You're in it too, you fucking witch.

Stay away from my husband.

I'll phone ahead.

I'll lock up.

Thank you.

Mr. Wilson?

We are going to admit your wife

under a section of the mental health act.

Come on, love.

Let's go wait in the back.

Yes, I want to with dad.

It's all right, Sandra.

Okay.

So, the same as last time then?

I really can't say for certain at the moment

until we assess her properly.

It looks very similar to the psychotic episode

she had before:

her losing touch with reality;

reading things into perfectly innocent events;

possibly hearing voices.

Look, it's probably best you just go.

We'll take good care of her.

Is mom coming home?

Not today, tiddler.

Good.

Hey, you should've been asleep hours ago.

Dad?

Yes, sweetheart.

Will mom always be cross sometimes?

I don't know.

I hope not.

♪ All creatures great and small ♪

♪ All things wise and wonderful ♪

♪ The Lord God made them all ♪

And some have a history spanning

well over 100 years.

How happy they are as they.

♪ I would like to climb high in a tree ♪

♪ I could be happy ♪

♪ I could be happy ♪

♪ Or go to Skye on my holiday ♪

♪ I could be happy ♪

♪ I could be happy ♪

♪ Do I run away, far away ♪

♪ How do I ♪

♪ Get away, run away ♪

♪ Far away ♪

♪ How do I ♪

♪ Escape from you ♪

Do you think they still have sex?

Karen.

Mom's not allowed to come over, is she?

Oh for god's sake, Cass.

Could you be more ignorant?

I didn't mean that, Al.

I just.

I know.

She's odd.

She's hardly moved outta that chair for years.

She used to be really beautiful, you know.

Wild.

My dad says she was so full of life before she got ill.

D'you not find it you know, scary?

Cass, you've got a bloody cheek.

She's my mom.

Shit, 10 to four.

Christ, my dad's gonna kill me.

Shit, fuck, bugger.

See you at the woods later?

Okay.

Look at him.

God, it's freezing.

Should we go?

Yeah.

Go make a tea, feed her.

Wanna come and watch?

Yes please.

I'm kidding, Karen.

Remember this secret birthday treat.

Fried eggs, fish fingers and soldiers.

Don't tell dad there's no vegetables.

Dad.

Is it the prizes you have won

or tonight's secret star prize?

You only have three simple questions to answer.

It's Thursday, it's seven o'clock,

so it must be "Top of the Pops"

with me, Tony Blackburn, a very charming male

or so I'm told.

But not as charming as these guys climbing to number 30,

listen to "This Charming Man."

♪ Punctured bicycle ♪

♪ On a hillside desolate ♪

♪ Will nature make a man of me yet ♪

♪ When in this charming car ♪

♪ This charming man ♪

♪ Why pamper life's complexity ♪

♪ When the leather runs smooth on the passenger's seat ♪

♪ I would go out tonight ♪

♪ But I haven't got a stitch to wear ♪

You wanna turn it down a bit please, love?

I think she's tryin' to sleep.

Blimey, who's that wally?

♪ It's gruesome ♪

♪ That someone so handsome should care ♪

Karen.

Alice.

What are you doing?

Calm down.

You're not a lezbo are you?

D'you see "Top of the Pops" last night?

Yeah.

I saw a bit of "Top of the Pops."

Why?

Did you see The Smiths?

Dunno.

What do they look like?

Well the lead singer, I don't know his name,

had a sort of blue shirt, a sort of necklace.

Yeah and a big bunch of flowers.

Yeah saw him, wanker.

He was wonderful, so beautiful.

So wonderful.

Get off.

Bloody hell.

Certainly cast a spell on you.

Christ, now I've got to go to geography.

You look completely fuckin' mental.

Oh, sorry.

Out.

Bye.

Bye.

♪ Punctured bicycle ♪

"Dearest Morrissey." ♪ On a hillside desolate ♪

"I'm sure you get hundreds of letters,

"but I just had to write to ya.

"My name's Alice and I've been your greatest fan

for 46 days, 13 hours and 22 minutes.

"I had such a strange feeling when I saw you on the telly.

"It was like you were singing just to me.

"I live in the middle of nowhere,

"so there's no one I can really talk to apart from you."

♪ But I haven't got a stitch to wear ♪

"I just feel so alone."

♪ This man said it's gruesome ♪

"If you're ever in Newton,

"maybe you can come and see me

"or I can come and see you if it's easier.

"Your greatest fan."

♪ A jumped-up pantry boy ♪

"Alice."

♪ Who will never lose his place ♪

- ♪ He said return the ring ♪ - Hey stranger.

What ya doin'?

Postin' a letter.

Who to?

Not your boyfriend?

Fuck off.

Anyway, it's to whom.

Ooh.

Well you don't have to tell me if you don't want to.

It's a letter to Morrissey.

Oh.

You think he'll write back?

I suppose you're going to the dance tonight

with mommy and daddy.

Oh.

Mater and Peter can fucking go on their own.

We could get some cider and could go to the hideout.

Gonna piss down

and they're out.

Come to mine?

♪ All men have secrets and here is mine ♪

♪ So let it be known ♪

♪ For we have been ♪

- ♪ Through hell. ♪ - Blimey.

Exactly. ♪ I can rely on you. ♪

Paid through the nose for it.

Classic.

What do you think, dear?

Dead yet?

♪ But still I'd leap in front of a flying bullet for you ♪

♪ So what difference does it make ♪

♪ So what difference does it make ♪

♪ It makes none ♪

♪ But now you have gone ♪

♪ And you must be looking very old ♪

Can I ask you somethin' about your mom?

Fire away.

Do you have to lock her up at night?

Sorry.

She's not a bloody chimpanzee.

Sometimes at night, she screams the place down.

It's lucky I haven't got any neighbors, eh?

Calm down.

She has to have injections every month.

It's like having a load of tranquilizers all in one go.

Her bum's like a pin cushion.

I can't see how me dad could still fancy her.

I mean he's more like a nurse.

I don't want to talk about it.

Had me from her.

Me.

Sorry.

♪ So what difference does it make ♪

♪ Ooh what difference does it make ♪

♪ Ooh it makes none ♪

♪ But now you have gone ♪

♪ And your prejudice won't keep you warm tonight ♪

♪ Oh the devil will find work for idle hands to do ♪

♪ I stole and then I lied ♪

♪ Just because you asked me to ♪

♪ But now you know the truth about me ♪

♪ You won't see me anymore ♪

♪ Well I'm still fond of you ♪

♪ But now ♪

Shit.

Fuck.

I've got to go.

Mark.

4253.

Yeah, hang on.

It's for you.

Mark.

Alice?

Yeah.

You okay?

I'm fine.

Look, is it about the other night?

Alice?

Morrissey hasn't written to me.

Oh, right.

Well you only wrote the other day.

You've got to give him time.

What if he doesn't write back?

He will.

I've got to go.

Hey, hey, hey.

Who was that?

Alice Wilson.

Oh, bloody hell.

What?

This tastes crap.

You sure you washed these cups up.

Sorry love, I think the water's on the blink.

I was just saying, can't you find a nice girl and you know?

What?

Doesn't have a mad mother?

That's not what I meant, Mark.

Look, it could run in the family.

There's no talking to you, is there?

Right.

Take this out.

Hello.

Oh love, you've gotta talk to me.

You've only been downstairs all week.

I know I'm a crap mom substitute, but what is it?

You want me to get Uncle Wobbly and Uncle Bighead here

to help out?

Hardly dare ask, is it boring?

Well that's your mom's advice.

Oh, there's a letter for you.

Thanks, dad.

You're welcome, Alice.

The Bahamas are supposed to be nice this time of year.

"Dear Alice, your letter was so sweet.

"Thank you for opening your heart.

"Morrissey."

Holy epic spice!

That's really nice.

Really nice?

Try fucking brilliant or absolutely amazing.

It's Morrissey.

He's written to me.

I'm so happy.

I mean I'm happy.

The Smiths tickets for the Leicester Union on Sunday.

Wonderful.

Well, will you come?

He'll be there and everything.

Will you?

No, he won't.

We have a hunt on Sunday

and I'm gonna need him at the stables.

And you're gonna be pretty busy from now on

until the end of term.

Well, I have time for revision.

No, you won't.

That is the end of the matter.

Why are some parents such bastards?

Lesson one: not all parents are as levelheaded

and straightforward as me or your mom.

What about Karen?

She's visiting her dad in Guernsey.

Well the tickets were free,

so it seems a shame to waste them.

I like a bit of music.

I'll have to consult my diary obviously.

I have a very hectic social world, you know.

You'll come with me.

At such a moment,

I don't suppose we can put her

in the boot so perhaps not.

Unless.

Hello, mom.

Do you have to fucking call me that?

No, right.

Where's Gina.

In the front room as per in front of the telly.

What the fuck is she doin' here?

Oh c'mon, love.

Don't be like that.

Listen, Alice and I are goin' out tonight

and your mom's gonna stay and watch telly with yoU.

Don't want her to, bitch.

She's always taking me to do something.

No, it'll be fine.

Bastards, you're in it together!

Take it back, you little fucker.

Oh come on, mom.

She's ill.

Ill my ass.

Fucking mental more like.

Tell her to piss off.

She's not watchin' my telly.

Please mom, it's really important.

Can you get on with nan just this once?

You're in on it too!

For fuck's sake.

Can everybody just calm down?

Calm down.

Calm down.

Will you go with Alice?

To where?

To Leicester to see The Smiths.

Who's the bleedin' Smiths, some friends?

No no, a pop group.

She's desperate to go.

I'll give you the money for the train and cabs.

And a stout.

All right.

Alice.

Dad.

Nan'll go with ya.

No way.

Well it's the best I can do, love.

You're not going on your own.

Take it or leave it.

Okay.

'Kay thanks, dad.

Mom'll be all right for 10 minutes.

I'll run you to the station, all right?

Ooh, god.

Ooh.

Are you all right, Nan?

Ooh, it's just that stout on the train.

I'll be fine.

I could do with a toilet though.

I want to go to the toilet.

Not far.

10 minutes.

I want to go to the toilet.

If you want, piss in me car.

No.

I am.

I couldn't wait.

Oh god!

Out, please.

Out.

Exit the vehicle.

Ooh.

Leicester, we're in a bloody forest?

It's a park.

The university is by the park, I hope.

Is it just me or is it fuckin' freezing?

Let's sit down here just for a bit.

♪ Oh it makes none ♪

Nan?

Nan,

Nan?

♪ Very old tonight ♪

Nan?

♪ The devil will find work for idle hands to do ♪

♪ I stole and I lied and why ♪

♪ Because you asked me to ♪

Thanks, Marie.

I just nodded off.

Is everything all right?

She was on her own with her.

Figuring she could've been dead for 20 minutes

before the ambulance arrived.

Poor Alice.

She never even got to see Morrissey.

Have you told?

No, no.

I'll let her sleep.

She'll find out soon enough.

What 'bout the rest of the family?

Fuck, sorry.

Shit, I've gotta get over there.

Well can't it wait 'til the morning?

'Tis the morning.

Do you want me to stay?

Well gee, I feel like I'm askin' a lot.

Know what?

I've got a late surgery.

You go.

Good luck.

Our memories build a special bridge

when loved ones have to part.

To help us feel, we're with them still

and soothe a grieving heart.

They span the years and warm our lives,

preserving ties that bind.

Our memories build a special bridge

and bring us peace of mind.

I'd like to propose a toast to my Mrs.

Now as you know, she could be a pain in the ass.

But she was a good woman.

- Mom. - Mom.

Nan.

To nan.

My darling.

You got a minute?

Where's mom?

Oh, she's up in her old room asleep.

Mmm, yeah.

What's in those?

It's dad's favorite.

I used to be in an ox's mush.

Excuse me.

♪ Roll me over in the clover ♪

♪ Roll me over ♪

♪ Lay me down ♪

♪ And do it again ♪

♪ Hey ♪

You okay?

Yeah.

Tough as our boots.

How am I gonna cope with a virus

in craphouse in trapland

and television with a shite picture?

What's she left me, eh?

Two pillocks and bloody mad ol' Gina.

Do you know what?

I can't wait to die.

Do you know that?

I can't wait to die!

So that I can say to her for once,

"Why don't you piss off?

"Go on, piss off!"

I'ma be jokin'.

We jokin' so much.

I really loved her.

'Course your poor old mom

hadn't had to go all the way to fucking Leicester

to watch that vegetarian, it wouldn't have happened.

He sounds like a light poof to me.

Morrissey.

Why can't Alice like someone decent like Elton John.

Okay guys, it's time we made a move,

see how Alice is doin'.

Is Gina still upstairs?

Yeah, she is.

But she don't wanna come home with you, Keithy.

Well I better go and check on her meself actually.

She's fine.

She was asleep when I looked in on her.

I'll look after her tonight

after I strangle these two dickheads.

Thank you, Bert.

I'm goin' for a walk.

Will you keep my tea warm?

Okie dokie.

Mom?

Mom, I need some help please?

I'm watchin' the telly.

Mom, for god's sake, talk to me.

Mom, for Christ's sake.

Nan's dead

and my baby's dead.

Call free, 45 pounds.

Alice?

Yes, dad?

Can I come in and talk?

No.

Please, I'm fine.

I'll be better tomorrow.

I'm off to bed then.

Night.

You stupid people.

Stop it!

We don't want you people 'round here.

Stop.

Stop it, for god's sake!

Oh I might have known that you

and your mental mother, it'd be.

And who's this?

How did he get dragged along with ya?

Leave him alone!

Aw, Jesus fucking Christ, boy.

Well I never, who'd a-thought?

You mention this to anyone, Jim, and I will kill you.

Hello, Alice.

- I've come... - Mom's injection?

Yeah.

Your dad not in?

Can't you tell?

Some nasty bruising you got there.

I fell.

Fell?

It looks painful.

So how's she?

Same.

Yeah.

And how's

school?

Same.

Morning, Gina.

Is it always gonna be like this?

Like what?

You know, me mom.

Injections, same old routine.

Nothing changes, no proper life.

- Alice, I... - Oh, it's all right.

I know the answer.

Alice, even I don't know the answer.

All any of us can do is speculate.

Your mother had what we now call postnatal depression

when you were born.

Actually, I think it was more of a psychosis.

It was my fault.

What?

This is all because of me.

Oh, Alice.

Oh, Jesus.

Alice, listen.

Listen, it's not your fault.

How can you possibly blame a baby

for the mental health problems.

But the baby can blame herself though.

Oh no, please Alice.

Don't go there.

- That way lies... - Lies madness.

C'mon, let's vote Sagan.

Comes in here like an asshole.

Do you want to get married?

What did you say?

Nothin'.

You did it.

You did, you said somethin'.

Oh, you fuckin' bastard.

You proposed.

Too late, you should've answered quicker.

Oh, what does that mean?

Well you'll have to wait and see if I ask you again.

Pay more attention next time.

Oh, hey.

So what's your answer?

But my dad smells of cow piss.

My brothers, well, they hate you.

We'll get away from here.

Go wanderin' with camels somewhere.

Cleythorpes.

Oh they're donkeys, aren't they?

Okay.

This time please God, make it work.

You really like my dad, don't you?

Hello, Alice.

Well

yeah.

I mean he's a nice man.

Do you?

He's fine.

It's me mom.

And what does that have to do with Keith,

with your dad?

I want you to cut down the medication.

Alice.

I know there's a risk, but I can't bear to think

that this is her for the rest of her life.

She's like a big stranded whale.

I want her to have fun again.

I know it's difficult.

Difficult?

Difficult.

She's me mom and she's a filthy,

dirty, stinking, fag smoking alien.

I've half a mind to put a fucking pillow over her face

'cause I can't bear living with it anymore.

Do you want to talk to someone?

No.

Here's the deal: I'll sort you out with me dad

if you take me mom off the drugs.

I...

Come on, say something.

Three months and then we'll reassess.

I'm doing this 'cause I care about you.

Can we just forget what you said about your dad?

Okay.

Thank you.

Thank you so much.

I'll make sure.

Mm-mmm, mm-mmm.

Are you sure your dad won't miss all this?

Him?

He only uses one pan.

He'd fry ice cream if he could.

How long will you stay here?

A while.

Can't go back, not after what happened.

Nope, that's it for him and me.

I'm gonna try and get a flight in town or something.

I'll become a tramp.

You could stay with us at the house.

Don't worry, that's the first place he'll look.

Perhaps.

Perhaps we could find a place together.

Perhaps.

Look.

Tea, mom.

Mom?

Mom?

Mom?

Hi.

Who's that?

He's a singer called Morrissey.

Oh.

You all right?

I'm fine.

Wait there.

Don't move.

- Dad! - What is it?

What's happened?

Mom answered me properly and she's in my room

lookin' at my stuff.

Isn't that brilliant?

How come?

I'm sorry.

I was scared to tell ya.

I spoke to Marie.

I just want something to change.

What have you done?

I've asked her to reduce mom's medication.

She agreed.

What?

Where does he live, Morrissey?

Salford in Manchester.

Salford.

Salford.

Is it far?

Two miles by car, past Preston.

Is this any good?

Yes.

Yes well, not their best, but really good.

Do you want to listen?

I can put it on for you.

He smiled lovely

Like readin' books.

Like readin' poetry.

No way like the others, stinkin' dirty people,

dirty hands.

You have soft hands.

Mom.

Yeah.

How are you feelin'?

Shit.

Well,

come on, mom.

It's hard for me to ask things like this

'cause you normally tell me to mind me own business.

Are you okay?

Dunno, feel weird;

feel strange.

I feel.

Who is that?

Who said that?

Is it Morrissey, where is he?

Is that him?

It's not Morrissey.

Shh, see.

It's him.

♪ I would go out tonight ♪

♪ But I haven't got a stitch to wear ♪

♪ This man said it's gruesome ♪

♪ That someone so handsome should care ♪

Is Alice in?

Yeah.

No.

Maybe.

I'm not sure recently.

Is that Gina?

Yeah.

♪ He said return the ring ♪

♪ He knows so much about ♪

- ♪ These things ♪ - Want a cup of tea?

No thanks.

Something stronger.

I think I've got some port left from Christmas.

You know, if it's about the medication,

Alice already told me.

Yes.

Now I know I shouldn't have.

But there's a chance she'll recover.

No.

I'm sorry, Keith.

But Alice wanted her old mom back

and for a short time, she'll get her.

She's chronically ill, Keith.

Be wrong of me to give you any hope.

Oh god.

You whore.

Yeah, I think I better go.

Yes, yeah.

All right, Gina.

Now out, out.

Oh no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

, you're a whore.

- Excuse me. - Dr. Henty?

♪ Charming man ♪

Oh, Christ.

♪ Keith ♪

Oh sorry, I thought you might've been...

Mark, is he here?

Yup, no, maybe.

No, definitely no.

I don't believe you, Keith.

Well there's not a lot I can do about that.

If you'll excuse me.

No, I want to look around the house.

Fine, fine.

Is that Morrissey?

All right, I'll believe you.

Let me know if he turns up.

You didn't tell him about Mark, did ya?

He's living in the woods.

In the woods.

Am I the only sane one here?

Actually, I don't blame him.

Might go there meself.

How's mom?

Perfectly normal.

She just hit Marie Henty.

Marie's been here?

Just to you know, chat about mom.

And that's all, no other reason?

Like what?

Oh, nothing.

♪ Madness ♪

♪ Madness, they call it madness ♪

Woohoo.

Woo!

- ♪ Madness ♪ - Woohoo!

♪ Madness, they call it madness ♪

♪ It's plain to see ♪

♪ That is what they mean to me ♪

♪ Madness, madness ♪

♪ I call it gladness ♪

Jesus.

I'm hungry, Sandra.

Help me.

Honestly, hun.

Look at the state of you, Gina.

Come in, I'll make you some toast.

So where have you been, Gina?

Dunno.

Toast.

It's coming.

Does Keith know where you are?

Dunno.

Where's my fuckin' toast?

See who that is, 'kay?

It'll be the fuckin' Gestapo.

Actually is the Gestapo.

Pardon?

Nothing.

Okay.

Keith.

Yeah, she's here.

'Kay.

Bollocks.

♪ You ♪

Gina.

Get back here.

I'll give you some fags.

Gina.

Gina!

♪ And I won't be the one ♪

No!

Bloody hell.

Get off me, you fat cow!

Gina.

Ow, what the hell are you doing?

- She's not well. - Help!

I'm tryin' to hold onto her 'til her husband gets here.

Why didn't you say it?

I didn't know.

Yeah, cheers.

She's been out all night.

First time in years, eh Gina?

All right, come on.

Let's get you in.

C'mon, mom.

- Patio, patio. - All right.

Slap me, slap me, slap me.

I wanna say no.

I wanna say no.

Come on then.

I'll come with ya.

Let me go on me own.

All right, I'll bring you a cup of tea up.

Toast!

All right and some toast.

God, I never seen her like this.

This is worse, to be honest.

What's she doing up there?

Go and have a look through the keyhole, dad.

I don't want it to ruin anything.

Do you want some tea, Sandra?

I'll put the kettle on.

It's either that and vodka.

Christ, what a day.

She's eatin' somethin'.

Piece of paper, like an old letter or somethin'.

Oh no, Jesus, mom!

What?

Mom?

Oh, mom.

How could you, you fucking bitch?

Alice, Alice.

Dad, she's eaten my letter.

This is not funny.

Look, there's something I need to tell...

Just fuck off!

Mm, they're good inside me.

Mm.

Piss off.

We're having a nice time without you.

Thank you.

Nutter patrol.

That's extremely unprofessional.

I could have been royalty or even the patient herself.

Who's heavy now?

That'll be the patient then, will it?

Come on love, time to go.

I know, I know.

Let's try and get back on an even keel, shall we, eh?

Eternally by your side.

I know.

I know, I know, I know.

Come on.

Shall we strap her in, guv?

No.

She won't be any trouble.

Will you, love?

I know I'm not well, but Morrissey will make me better.

How was it?

Fine.

Don't worry, she's in the best place.

That's not it.

Oh it's just a fuckin' letter, Alice.

Grow up.

This is your mother we're talking about.

Oh Alice.

Sweetheart.

I wrote the letter, Mr. Wilson.

Keith, please.

Keith.

The letter's not from Morrissey.

I wrote it.

Sent it with the tickets.

I just wanted her to,

you know.

Don't tell her that.

He's all she's got in this fucked up family.

You know where to find me, Mr. Keith.

What am I gonna do, Marie?

Well, you can get some more Smiths tickets.

I know it wasn't a roaring success last time.

Sorry Keith, this is all my fault.

I should never have taken her off her depo.

It was stupid.

It was stupid.

You were just trying to help.

I don't know what we'd do without you, Marie.

You've been a good mate.

A crap doctor but a good mate.

Dad, sorry, I.

Bloody hell.

What are we gonna do know?

Carry on?

Right you are.

Hi.

Good morning.

Sorry about.

It's okay.

My dad deserves some fun.

I just wish I hadn't.

Morning tiddler.

Mark.

If she's pregnant, there'll be hell to pay.

What's the time?

Half nine.

Oh bollocks.

Got surgery at 10.

I've never heard a doctor say bollocks.

Neither have I.

Quite impressive actually.

Have a cup of tea and get ready.

Got 20 minutes.

Postscript Books.

Time to, if you wanted to that is.

All right, sweetheart?

Mom's somehow got out of the hospital.

Take the M62 through Manchester.

Manchester?

Why would she go there?

I have a feeling.

She asked me about Salford, dad;

and she's obsessed by Morrissey

and if she wants to find him.

That's where he's from.

Salford Lads Club, actually.

Heard it somewhere.

Yeah, but that's...

That's what I'd do.

Have you never heard of needle and haystack?

She's got no money.

The police'll pick her up way before that.

I love you, dad.

You've always looked after us.

Now it's my turn.

All right well, here.

Good luck.

Looks like you're gonna need it.

Sorry, God.

If you're there, please take care of Gina.

She still means a lot to me.

And

I'm sorry about Marie.

But if you do exist,

I suspect you're a good bloke with a sense of humor

and you'd probably do the same.

Amen.

♪ I get somethin' ♪

♪ It's hard to hold on to ♪

♪ Lord have mercy on me ♪

♪ I got homesick ♪

That was nice.

It's all right.

Cleaned my exhaust out.

Haven't had any since the wife died.

Oh.

Can we go to Manchester now?

You said.

Hang on, hang on.

I never said.

You were the one.

Blimey.

"I'll do anything you want," you said.

You were all over me like a rash.

Oh come on.

At least let's have a cup of tea first, eh?

Do you wanna have a sausage roll?

All right.

Blimey, don't get too excited.

We'll have this then we'll get off, all right?

Here you go.

Thanks.

Bloody hell girl, go for it.

That'll teach ya to bolt your food.

Please can we go now?

My wish is your command.

Where to?

Can we go to the Salford?

The Salford what?

Forgotten.

Why, what sort of place is it?

Do you know Morrissey?

Morrissey?

Who the hell's Morrissey when he's at home?

My savior.

I need to get to him.

Right.

Well, that does sound serious.

Very, very serious.

He sang to me in my house so I need to get to Manchester.

Well I live in Manchester.

Are you gonna take me?

Okay.

All right, can I just drink this?

Come on, let's go.

She's finally dead.

Better call your dad.

We can get a bus tomorrow.

We can't stop looking.

We adopted our position.

I suppose it'll be all right there for one night.

Usually park it at the compound

but tonight's a special occasion.

If I knew I was gonna have company,

I'd have tidied up a bit as well.

No, I like it.

Gina,

you're a bit barmy, aren't you?

Suppose so.

You got any family round here?

No.

I don't want to talk.

Well, I know how you feel.

You tell me when you want to.

Hey, you know that,

the Salford whatever.

Maybe it's a pub.

We'll go and have a look for it tomorrow.

Yeah.

How do you like your eggs?

Fried or fried?

- Runny please. - Runny ones.

All right, runny coming up.

I heard the phone go.

Was that the police?

No, just Marie.

Don't you think you should call them?

See what's happening?

They can't keep going to Salford.

Maybe she's not in Salford.

She is, I'm sure.

Let's just let the police do their job.

But they need badgering.

Get on to them.

Anyone would think you don't want to find her.

How do you what I want, eh?

Ever since you were born, I've looked after her.

Me.

No one knows what I want.

Morning.

Mark's here.

I hope you didn't get up to anything.

Pot, kettle, black.

Point taken.

Oh,

this came for you.

If it's what I think it is.

A Morrissey t-shirt.

Thanks dad.

Seems a bit stupid now.

I ordered it a while ago.

That's not just a Morrissey t-shirt.

It's a ticket.

That will get you in to the Morrissey gig in Blackpool.

Blackpool?

Thanks dad.

Love you.

Aww, I knew you'd be made up.

Sorry about this.

The maelstrom of emotions

that come with living in this house.

See.

Sorry, just well.

My mom and what happened last time with Nan.

Bad timing.

I tried to get another one for what's his face here

but they're as rare as hen's teeth.

So it'll just be you and Morrissey

and 2000 other people.

Their lead singer, Morrissey,

is playing this month up here in Blackpool and get this:

allowing anyone free entry to the gig

as long as they have a Smiths t-shirt.

That's right, any Smiths t-shirt will do.

If you are with it and down with the teenagers

or perhaps even a teenager yourself,

then you would have heard of The Smiths.

No, not the brand of crisps but the popular music combo

who have been wowing audiences up and down the country

with their popular brand of indie music.

Hits such as "Their Charming Man"

and "Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now."

Well if you're a fan,

you don't need to remain miserable any longer.

You finished?

Yeah.

- Mm-hmm. - Okay.

Oh Gina, love.

You gotta give me something, you know.

Look, I can't just let you stay here

if I don't know nothing about you.

Now, have you got any family I can contact?

I don't wanna talk about Gina, she's fucked.

Can we stay here, Dunk?

I like it.

It's near Morrissey.

Look, what about your illness?

You know you're a bit half cut, don't you?

I mean you may do on my Valium for a bit

but it's not the answer.

I like you, Dunk.

Oh, you're a funny one.

All right.

Let's try and get you sorted out, yeah?

Look at the state of you honestly.

I'm gonna take you shopping tomorrow, yeah?

Go shopping?

Yeah.

Right.

Let's have a beer, make a list.

Then I'm gonna give you a bath, all right?

Reminds me of my dear old girl, that does.

On a more serious topic, gamma radiation.

Hello, Postscript Books.

Keith Wilson speaking.

Hello.

Listen, you don't know me mate,

but I've got your Mrs. staying with me at the moment.

Oh god.

Can you put her on?

No, she's not here.

Well, she doesn't wanna speak to you.

I'm phoning 'cause I thought you might be worried.

She's told me a bit about what's been going on

and I got your number from the directory inquiries.

Listen, listen, mate.

She's ill, she needs to come home.

Well she doesn't want to.

She says that she's happy here.

Look, I just wanted to let you know she's all right.

And she is, she's all right.

And look, I've gotta go;

me money's running out.

No, please.

Please don't hang up; I need to.

Oh shit.

This is the last call for 223.

Ooh, sorry.

Wish you were coming.

What, do see that poof?

Come on then, let's have a look.

I envy you, you know.

Never had that much feeling for someone.

That's your bus.

Go.

Promise me, enjoy yourself.

Don't worry about your mom.

I'm sure she's okay.

Come on trouble.

Hey, hey, you need it.

You'll be cold.

Nah.

I'm seeing Morrissey.

Yes, you are.

See you later!

Bye!

I've gotta go.

Not my t-shirt, no!

Alice, help me!

Alice.

Alice.

Alice!

Alice!

Alice!

Get back, ya freak!

Looks like we've got an incident.

You little bitch.

Don't close them.

We're coming in.

Wait!

No, Morrissey!

We're coming in.

You, maybe.

Not her.

She was mugged and they knicked her t-shirt.

Think she goes round this normally?

Yeah, nice try, darlin'.

Well, it's true.

Why don't you be a good daughter, love,

and give her yours?

Oh fuck off!

Alice!

Fuck you!

Alice!

Why can't you be fucking normal?

It has to be you, doesn't it?

It's always you.

When's it my time?

When do I get to be something?

Do something without you.

Please, your shirt.

I want to see Morrissey.

Fuck!

Right.

If you want.

Let's get this on, yeah?

Morrissey.

Sat outside listening to it for a second time.

In your bra?

Nice.

You wish.

Oh, I had a coat on.

She seemed happy when she came out.

Normal.

We hugged and she left.

No worry.

Didn't seem to have missed me and dad much.

Did you miss her much though really?

You're right.

A lot of the time I suppose I hadn't missed her.

But she's still my mom.

Sorry about you missing Morrissey again.

It's okay.

Come on.

Thanks.

Dad, what the hell is going on?

I'll make tea.

Just had that bloody Dunk bloke on the phone again.

Says Gina wants a divorce.

They wanna get married.

Spoke to your mam as well.

She seemed

happy.

Well she has just seen Morrissey.

It's all right, dad.

Don't cry dad, please.

We can get her back.

Don't cry dad.

I'm sorry, sweetheart.

I don't know if I want her back.

It's been so bad for so long.

There's nothing left.

I've got nothing left.

I'm happy for her but

I don't know this guy.

Well it's her choice now.

She still has a choice.

Of course.

So what's going to happen?

I've asked them to visit.

Oh my god.

Weird, eh?

Sugar, Keith?

Just one.

They're here!

Well one of you must be Keith.

Bloody hope not mate.

No, that's him.

Oh.

- What you think? - Think?

Fuckin' nutter, I think.

Hello.

I'm Keith.

Hi.

This is Gina's daughter, Alice.

Her friend, Mark, and Marie Henty, Gina's old doctor.

Less of the old.

Come on, Princess.

Please come inside for a chat, Gina.

Is that all right?

Kettle's just boiled.

Alice, will you show Dunk round the garden,

especially the back.

I'll pop inside and check with mom.

It's hardly Arling Hall.

It'll only take 30 seconds.

Oh

a pathway to a fabulous land.

Yeah, it took a while.

Everyone loves a sandwich.

Manners really, son.

Don't show us up.

It's nice here.

Innit peaceful?

Is it?

I'd always thought it was a bit scrubby and scruffy.

Like your mom.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I don't mean to be rude, love.

But your mom, she's a bit of a one off, isn't she?

You know I love her to bits, don't ya?

I know this is a terrible thing to say about my own mom

but doesn't she...

What, get on me nerves?

Revolt me, depress me?

I've been asked all them, you know.

Nosy buggers at the pub and at the depot.

I don't judge too much on appearances.

Your mom,

she makes me laugh.

She doesn't judge me

and I'm not exactly catch of the year myself, am I?

She reminds me of me own mom.

She were a bit weird and all.

Just get used to it.

She pleases herself.

You know, sometimes she didn't come home for a week.

Just gotta learn to live with it.

Sorry, your mom.

Well this new treatment,

it's really helping.

Tea's up.

Keith, where can I wash me hands?

Just use the kitchen.

Lads, come on.

Come on.

We have a situation.

Gina, are you sure this is what you want?

Yes.

Why don't we just give it a try?

Marie?

Same as you, Keith.

Gina,

you seem quite happy with the situation.

Is that right?

Gina.

Don't worry about her, please.

That's my job now, okay?

I'll call.

It's gonna take a while.

Well?

I don't know what to say.

Me neither

except I liked him.

Do you think he can cope with her bad temper, her manners?

Her personal hygiene, her swearing,

her laziness.

But what did you think?

I liked him.

I can smell a Victoria sponge from two miles.

Nearly got run over by a bloody great juggernaut.

Thought they were building a bypass?

That were Gina and her new man.

Crikey, Keith.

Not a break in the voice or a nervous tick?

How did it go?

- Fine. - Fine.

Can I have a slice?

Hi.

Fancy a walk?

There's something I want to tell you about.

What?

Just

something about that Morrissey matter.

What?

♪ I never stay out all night ♪

Subtitles by explosiveskull www.OpenSubtitles.org

♪ And if I get lost, I'd sleep ♪

♪ Won't you turn on that light ♪

♪ The light that shines from you to me ♪

♪ It's gonna feel so grown up ♪

♪ And Lord, I feel 12 years old ♪

♪ You know I'm just playing shop for all the goods ♪

♪ The goods are showing ♪

♪ And there's this river ♪

♪ At the city's end ♪

♪ And when you're with her ♪

♪ She'll sell you back again ♪

♪ And if I should lose my mind ♪

♪ And if they should steal my soul ♪

♪ Do you think you could take the time ♪

♪ To turn you home to face the goals ♪

♪ There's this river ♪

♪ At the city's end ♪

♪ And when you're with her ♪

♪ She'll sell you back again ♪

♪ I know we can make it big ♪

♪ I know we can beat the light ♪

♪ Coming down from this gig ♪

♪ And there you are ♪

♪ You're burning bright ♪

♪ There's this river ♪

♪ At the city's end ♪

♪ And when you're with her ♪

♪ She'll sell you back again ♪

♪ She'll sell you back again ♪