Original subtitles

Subtitles by explosiveskull www.OpenSubtitles.org

Even people we haven't seen in quite a bit came out,

like Mary Jo and Kevin, and Charles and Mary Ann.

Here is the certificate and permits you can give to Clyde.

Baby, I'm... I'm so lost without you.

I miss you a lot.

Ma'am, we're just about ready.

Robbie, they want me to hurry.

I have to say this funeral parlor is very punctual in all that they do.

I wanted to use O'Shea's,

but, crazy as it sounds, they were booked.

Mom suggested here.

It's been nice.

Oh, Robbie.

You were so loved and appreciated by so many.

This is really hard for me.

5

Shit.

Pull yourself together.

Hello?

I'm locked in.

Are you serious?

Hello?

Hey, I'm locked in!

Hey!

Hey, I'm locked in!

Stay with me, forever.

Hey! Can anyone hear me?

Help!

Hello, is anyone here? I'm locked in!

I can't get out!

I can't get out, hello!

Please, I'm locked in.

Hello!

Stay with me, forever.

Robbie?

Lana, stay with me.

Forever.

Lana... Lana...

Thanks, Colette!

Hey, babe, what's up?

Well, look who decided to finally call.

So, Vincent Miller left you a message.

Remind me which one that is again?

Remember the Civil War historian?

We reached out to him regarding his family's connection

with the Lincoln assassination?

The one out of Long Island.

Yup, he said we can interview him.

Here, take down his number so you can give him a call back.

Okay.

- All right, ready? - Go.

516-555-1088.

Got it?

Oh, my God, this is great.

All right, love you. Call him and let me know what he says.

You're the best, thanks so much.

- All right, see you at home. - Okay, bye, babe. I love you.

Okay. Okay.

Hello.

Well, hello to you.

It is all about being authentic.

Of course my offer still stands.

And we have plenty of rooms.

We have plenty of rooms.

How many of you are there? Great.

I look forward to meeting all of you.

So what you got going there, Cos?

- You got a new squeeze? - Working a new case.

Why you bring that coffee in here? What, my coffee's not good enough for you?

Your coffee sucks, Joey, you know that.

I tell you, man. I don't know how you do it.

- What the hell? - Hey, is Mikey in the back?

Ah, I gave him the night off.

Gave him the night off? I need my grilled cheese.

- I'll go back there, I'll get you one. - All right, thank you, Joey.

- Hey, Lex. - Hey.

- Hey, how you doin'? - I'm good.

What, uh... What are you working on?

Oh, you know, I'm just, um...

I'm just, uh, taking photographs of this influencer, whatever.

What's up?

So, I-I secured a cover for that gig I was telling you about,

and it starts tomorrow, and I thought...

maybe you could bring your Kit.

Okay. Well, what'd you find out?

Nothing vet, but it's, uh...

It's actually real near where everything started.

Wait, you actually mean...

Yeah.

All roads lead back to the funeral parlor.

- So hot. - What'd I tell ya, babe?

Oh, my God.

Joey couldn't break in here last week.

- Joey and Risa are freaks, too? - I guess.

- That's so hot. - This is a first for me.

I love it.

This is kinda odd for a funeral parlor. It doesn't smell right.

I don't know, I gotta tell Joey about this.

- Hey... - Shit, I have no cell service down here.

- Check this out. - Oh, shit.

- You like that? - I like it.

Wait, hang on.

- You hear that? - Let 'em watch.

I thought I heard something back there.

No... Where are you going? Frankie.

Look, babe, I know that you're an exhibitionist, but we're trespassing.

- I'm just gonna close the door. - Okay.

Be right back.

- Go protect us. - I'll be right back.

Hey... Come play with me.

Ditta...

Ditta.

Hey, Frankie! Come check this out.

Come, my precious.

I'm here for you.

5

Hi, lollipop. I'm Janet.

Oh, hair and makeup at your service.

I love old houses.

I grew up in a Victorian just like this one.

I so love the South Shore.

Is... is this the Miller residence?

Yes, and... Oh, you must be Christina Weingarten.

I'm Mrs. O'Brian and I work for Mr. Miller.

Oh, yes, I wasn't sure if this was the right address.

- One and the same. - Oh.

Won't you come in? You can put all of your stuff over there.

Uh, Mr. Miller is dealing with other family members,

so he asked me to situate you.

Okay, well, that was Janet Higgins.

She's with makeup. And this is my sister, Nancy.

She's basically my...

She's my everything department.

My sister basically means I do everything.

- Well, Nancy, very nice to meet you. - Yeah.

Come on in.

And, um, this is Steve Cooper,

and he goes by Scratch.

- He does sounds. - Hey, nice to meet you.

- Hi, Seth, Seth Cosmo. - Hi.

How are you?

Oh, my God. I've been calling you Sam this whole time.

No wonder why you haven't been responding.

Most people just call me Cosmo. I'm sorry, what's your name?

Oh, Edna O'Brian.

Ms. O'Brian, nice to meet you.

This strapping gentleman behind me, Ottis Beaumont.

He's my assistant.

Ma'am. Where's the shitter?

Coming up from Lake Kay, it was a mess.

Traffic damn near made me shit myself.

Never eat more than six sliders from the Castle.

With coffee, you are just asking for bodily harm.

- It's-it's down the hall. - Thank you.

Right before the kitchen.

It is downright inhumane.

I just met him. He's got a colorful vocabulary.

I'll say.

He was a referral.

- Yeah. - What are you gonna do?

He's fine. Uh, you came with a photographer, right?

Yes, Lexy Collins. She's on her way.

She's great, I work with her all the time.

Oh, no, no, no. Please, please, no smoking.

Um, uh, because of the oxygen here.

Not a problem. I-I actually quit, I just kinda keep one with me,

suppress the urge a little bit, you know what I mean?

Actually did the same thing when I quit drinking.

I've been sober for 14 years.

Well, I'm glad you found your peace.

I'll put this away.

Have you guys all worked together for a long time?

Um, no.

I actually haven't worked with Cosmo before,

but I found him on the net, and he seems like he'll work out just fine.

But Scratch and I have worked together plenty of times.

- Oh, is that everyone? - Yup.

And, oh, we parked down the street, just like you said.

And it seems like I saw that you had parking.

Oh-oh-oh, that's Mr. Miller's funeral parlor.

Oh, well...

This is great. It's gonna be good.

The Manhattan bound will depart in five minutes.

Repeat, the Manhattan bound

will depart in five minutes in lane 14.

Make yourselves comfortable. Are you hungry?

- Oh, yeah. - I'm starving.

Well, good, 'cause dinner will be served shortly.

And Mr. Miller will be here to greet you.

- Hi. - You must be...

Lexy, Lexy Collins.

- Please, come on in. - Oh, thank you.

Oh, God.

- Oh. - Um, put your stuff over there.

- Oh, sure. - And, um, go join the others.

Oh, I didn't know you were here.

Please, come and meet your guests.

Christina Weingarten and group,

say hello to your host, Vincent Miller.

Oh, dear, you didn't drink your tea?

Oh, um, I did. I...

Delicious.

Mrs. O'Brian, you've done enough this evening.

Please, you can call it a night.

Oh, um, I'll-I'll just finish up here...

Leave it! I insist.

Thank you.

Um...

Everybody have a good night, then.

- I'll see you tomorrow. - Good night.

- Have a good night. - Thank you.

- Dinner was great, thank you. - Dinner was so good.

Delicious.

Man, don't nobody cook no catfish ho more.

Catfish?

It is an acquired taste.

Not everyone appreciates it.

Well, you sound like you know some good old Southern cooking, Mr. Miller.

- Can you pass the dressing? - Don't listen to them.

Thank you.

So... you get freaked out living next to a funeral parlor?

- I own it. - Ahem.

What made you land here?

The 18th Amendment, what we now know as Prohibition.

Come again?

The lodge used to be an orphanage.

And during Prohibition, it became a smuggler's dream.

There's 118 miles between New York Harbor and the tip of Montauk Point.

The lodge was a rendezvous point for foreign liquor ships

supplying the nation's liquor markets.

Until 1932 when a fire broke out and killed everybody.

Okay. So, I'm still a little lost on the here part.

My family buried most of the dead that year...

And we converted the lodge into a funeral home.

It's been in my family ever since.

Sounds like a story that needs telling.

Cheers to that.

No, please. I'm fine, thank you.

- Anybody else? - Please.

The size of the house is misleading from outside.

It's a very old building.

The lighting and the shadows can play tricks with your mind, Cosmo.

Well, let us know.

Wh... Are there any ghosts?

- Right? Come on. - Stop.

With everybody that died in the fire and living next to a funeral parlor,

- I mean, come on. - Not that I'm aware of.

- You're ridiculous. - I...

I seen't a ghost one time.

My hometown is Wallace, North Carolina.

That's where my family house is.

And, you know, I seen't a ghost there.

I had to get out...

It's such a small town,

everybody seemed to be backwards and stuck.

Everything just seemed stuck, yeah.

I had to go.

Wallace, you say.

It's near Burgaw.

Yes-yes, sir, it is.

I spent some time in Burgaw.

Really?

Well, thank you for allowing me to be a part of your show.

I'm opening my doors to you all to film here,

contributing to your cause by letting you stay here and by feeding you.

In return, I have a few things.

The interviewing will be done at night.

My schedule during the day is full,

and I do not wish to complicate things.

Why so deep in thought child?

Do you miss your parents, Nancy?

My mortician, Randolph, is equally as busy,

and I do not want to bother him.

So, the basement and the funeral parlor are off limits.

Due to Mrs. O'Brian's health condition,

if we have any smokers here, please use the back patio.

There is also no cellphone service in the house.

- You're joking, right? - Huh?

It does not matter the carrier.

Must be the old foundation or the equipment that we use.

Regardless, I have a house phone. I will post the number next to it.

You are all free to use it, but please, don't abuse it.

To my Civil War, hear, hear.

- To your Civil War! - To your Civil War.

I ain't toasting no Civil War.

Come, let me show you the rest of the home

and show you where to drop your things.

You said smoking's out on the back porch?

Ottis, let's finish setting up first, yeah? Smoke later.

I need to take everything in, boss.

I need a few minutes for me.

Can I... Can I borrow that lighter?

Man, why in the hell did you take this job?

Bringing me out here in the middle of nowhere.

Yeah, yeah, it's important work,

but at least I wouldn't be out in the middle of nowhere.

Goddamn. Eating this nasty food.

What is up with white people and spices?

I was thinking this room could work for you, Christina.

It's right for the interview.

What do you think?

Wow.

This room is...

It's totally perfect.

The decor is stunning.

My cousin, Clyde, has impeccable taste.

Most of this furniture was left behind by previous family members.

The basement, although, is still messy.

I like it.

No refrigerator noise, no air conditioner.

Perfect for sound.

Yes, it is, Scratch. This is one of the quiet rooms.

It's a special place where I like to sit and read.

It has a cool vibe. Very trendy.

- So amazing. - Thank you, Janet.

But again, my cousin Clyde has the eye.

Through there is another room with its own unique look.

Think this lighter is goin' out.

Shit...

It's a nice lighter.

Maybe his granddaddy passed it down.

It's probably an antique. They don't make 'em like this ho more.

I am sure you don't want this room.

Are those caskets?

Yes, this is the casket room leading to the office and the parlor.

I like how everything looks old and dated.

Well, I believe if you like something,

keep it, no matter the era.

But again, it's my cousin Clyde's eye.

My cousin is obsessed with the basement.

He found this and wanted to set it all up.

This was an actual doctor's room for the orphanage.

Whoa, really? That's creepy.

This is the only room in the house without a bed,

so if anyone would like to camp out.

Have an adventure.

There is a room adjacent to this one with plenty of power

if you'd like to see if it works for your makeup station.

- Sweet. - Please.

Man, come on.

You gotta get a signal somewhere.

So, Christina,

now that Nancy approves, shall we begin?

Thank you, Mr. Miller.

- Um... - Please, call me Vincent.

I actually don't think that we're going to be ready until about after...

Forgive me.

You all traveled in today. You must be very tired.

Tomorrow.

And you need time to set up so...

I'm out most of the day. Let's plan on a 7:00 p.m. start.

That works.

Great.

Okay, so what we'll do is we can put him here.

And I'm thinking the camera can be here.

But I like this fireplace.

Vinny, if we blow a fuse, where's the electric box? The basement?

Oddly, it's in the kitchen, and please, call me Vincent.

Ottis, go back to Wallace.

Sweet sister Sadie.

Oh, I... I see.

Ottis!

Oh, man, you good!

You 'bout scared the piss out of my ass!

Yo, Aunt Ney is gonna hear about this!

Hey, come on, man, I need my lighter back!

Ah... okay.

Hey, either one of you soldier boys got a cigarette?

Hey. Yo, my dude.

You got a cigarette?

Yo, my dude.

What the...?

Cosmo... Cosmo...

Ottis!

Ottis, you still out here?

Cosmo, Cosmo...

There goes my lighter.

Did everything fit in the bag?

- Yeah. - Okay.

I don't want Christina to know we're going behind her back on this one.

Hey, where'd you find Ottis?

Aunt Ney recommended him.

- No shit. - Yeah.

Fucking Christ, thank God this is a documentary, right?

If we were shootin' a feature, I would be screwed.

Hey, so what's the plan?

The last place Lana Hill was actually seen was the funeral parlor.

So I figure we start from the bottom up.

Check out the basement and then...

tomorrow, while we're shooting,

one of us will bug out and check out the funeral parlor.

All right.

Does the air feel different?

- The air? - Yeah, the air.

It feels...

thick.

Hey, so I got this source at the network,

says he'll pay us a lot of money if we find anything else on Lana.

Fine.

Hey!

Uh, did you guys need anything else?

I think I'm good.

You can go ask Nancy, though, and anything else, we'll get to tomorrow.

Okay, sounds like a plan.

- Lexy? - Yeah.

Nancy.

Right.

Are you tired of the pain?

Lord, is that you?

I will take your pain from you.

Ask me, ask me to take your pain away.

I will give you a world without suffering.

No more pain? I would like that.

Rest, my dear,

and you will awaken to a whole new world.

Ottis.

What the hell are you doing?

Where have you been all night?

What time is it?

Ottis?

Yeah.

Help me! Help me!

Help me!

Help me get out!

Help me!

Help me! Help!

Help!

Help!

Help!

Shit!

Is this what you want?

I've seen you watching me all night.

I thought you were watching me.

Oh.

I so want you.

Come and take me.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes...

Don't stop.

Oh, Janet.

Janet.

Oh, Janet.

What the fuck?

Let me set you free, Janet.

I can make you hear again.

I can give you that gift back.

Tell him to set the camera up for you?

- Yeah. - Oh, come on, you're fucking killing me.

Good morning, people.

Morning? I think not.

We got a late start, but we gotta get thing's goin'.

- Okay, Scratch? - Give me ten, Christina.

Yeah. Un-fucking-believable.

- I know, seriously. - Come on.

Ottis, I could use your help, man!

- Ottis! - Ottis?

I haven't seen him since dinner last night.

I saw him last night. He scared the hell outta me.

Oh, my goodness, I am wicked tired.

Whoa, I can't believe I slept the day away.

Hey, you need anything?

No, I'm good.

Hey, after this whole thing's wrapped,

how 'bout you and I go on that trip that we discussed?

You know, we've been pushing really hard for the last three years

since Mom and Dad's accident.

- I love you. - Love you.

- Thank you so much. - No problem.

Family is forever.

I like the bond you two sisters have.

So sorry to hear about your parents.

- Is this me here? - Yeah.

Do you need anything else? Are you good?

- Um, yeah, I'm fine. - You need more coffee?

I'm fine, I'm fine.

Let me put the mic on.

There you go.

You look great.

Scratch.

- Yeah, ready. - All right.

This is Christina Weingarten of Investigative News Journalism,

where we go the extra mile to bring you the truth.

Welcome to our new segment of "My Civil War."

I'm pleased to present our gentleman here.

If you'd like to state your name for the camera?

Hello, my name is Vincent Miller.

And I'm here to document my family's history

and their involvement in the Civil War.

Great, and what time period would that be?

It was the winter of 1865,

around the time my great-grandfather met John Wilkes Booth.

It was up north when John was pursuing his acting career.

Wonderful, your great-grandfather.

And what was his name?

I'm sorry.

I've never done anything like this before.

- Okay, cut! - Cutting.

It's okay. It happens to everyone.

Just... take a deep breath, relax.

It's just like you're telling me a story.

I felt dizzy and...

More anxious than dizzy.

Look at you. A man that doesn't sweat under the hot lights.

You seem cold. Are you okay?

- Feeling sick? - I feel great.

Excited. I feel better.

I'm gonna adjust your mic a bit.

For some reason, I'm not getting you.

I'm just getting white noise, like static noise.

Nancy, could I get some more coffee?

I just asked if you needed anything!

- Anybody else? - Okay, thank you.

Scratch?

Yeah, ready.

Cosmo, we're doing okay?

He's good.

Now right to me,

and then just start off with just a story.

My great-grandfather.

My great-grandfather's name

was Dr. Vincent J. Miller.

He was a great man, from what I've heard.

A brilliant man.

A troubled man.

Sometimes blessed, sometimes cursed.

A major in the Confederate Army.

He shared the common ideas, and he loved the South.

The death toll of the entire Civil War was 620,000.

So sad to see us fighting our own.

Brother against brother for such selfish reasons.

All right.

All right.

I am in the basement of...

the, uh, the Miller family funeral home.

It's the last place anybody remembers seeing Lana Hill

before she was... Fuck! What was that?

Before she was reported missing.

Here we go. Last place Ms. Lana Hill was seen before she...

Fuck, Ottis!

Fuck, brother!

What are you doing?

Ottis?

Ottis.

Ow, fuck me!

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

Oh, great.

That's good.

Okay.

Fucking-A, come on.

What?

Cosmo.

Cosmo.

Cosmo.

Lexy.

Cosmo, did you find what you're looking for?

Did you see Miss... O'Brian? She was...

Lex?

Cosmo.

Lex?

Lexy?

So the ten states that wanted to continue slavery

were South Carolina, Florida, Alabama, Georgia, Louisiana,

Texas, Mississippi, Arkansas, North Carolina, and...

The great state of Tennessee, home of my great-grandfather.

It was during this time that John Wilkes Booth up in the north

came up with a plan with his associates, including my great-grandfather,

to kidnap the President of the United States

and bring him down to the Confederate capital in Richmond.

To bring him through the tunnels of the White House, like you said before.

Yes.

Lincoln had underground secret tunnels

leading from Washington, D.C. down to the heart of Dixie.

Some say that Lincoln had them built.

Others say that they were pre-built by John Adams in 1801.

The tunnels led from Washington, D.C.

all the way down to a small farm in Port City, North Carolina,

the site of one of the biggest battles the South had ever seen,

also one of the bloodiest.

So Washington must have had them built.

No, Washington never set foot in Washington, D.C. or the White House

as he died while the capital was still in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.

But out of respect, the district was named after him.

Holy shit!

What's up with all the extra voices?

I mean, I got Janet fooling around.

I have doors closing.

How do you expect me to get great sound with all this extra damn noise?

Quiet on the set means people should shut the fuck up!

- Scratch! - What extra noise?

The crap I've been listening to. The noise!

We don't hear anything, Scratch.

You guys are playing with me, right?

Here, listen.

I don't hear anything.

I only hear myself.

I don't hear Vincent!

What do you mean? I got... I have both.

Here, let me listen.

You don't hear Vincent.

To bring him through the tunnels of the White House,

like you said before.

No, no, this is bullshit!

Maybe he touched the wire to the mic or something.

Did I pull the wire out?

No, you're-you're plugged in.

Let's take a lunch.

Cosmo?

Seth.

You all right?

Hey.

- What? - Come on, Lex.

- Give me a break, all right? - I thought you quit.

Yeah, well, I...

I thought I just saw a crazy old lady chasing me in the basement, come on.

Wait...

Is Vincent giving you everything you need?

Seriously? Okay, really?

- Mm. - I'm hungry.

Yeah. ll mean, I think we're getting all the right talking points, right??

Yeah, we just need him to backtrack to where Scratch lost the audio.

To bring him through the tunnels of the White House,

like you said before.

Basement is freaking weird, all right?!

They all came at me, even you!

Okay, they? Who is they?

- Who chased you? - I don't know!

Georgia, Louisiana, Texas...

- You know what? - What?

We should go to Maine and go whale watching.

I would actually love that. That sounds super relaxing.

Really?

I did that once, with my ex-boyfriend.

We went on this boat tour, and the whales come all the way up to the boat.

It was pretty cool.

That sounds absolutely terrifying.

Uh, it was at first, but to be honest,

whales are pretty cool, they're pretty chill.

You'll like it, you should go.

Okay, good. Pretty chill.

Arkansas, North Carolina and...

To bring him through the tunnels of the White House like you said before.

So Washington must have had them built.

Obviously, it's not real, right?

Maybe we were all drugged last night at dinner.

- What? No. - Yeah, think about it.

How else would we have all slept in, hmm?

The entire group, we slept in late into the afternoon.

I don't know, I don't know. Maybe because we were all exhausted, okay?

- Come on, Seth, really? - Doesn't make sense.

I think there's something weird here.

You think that Lana's still here, don't you?

And there is definitely something weird about Vincent fucking Miller.

If we keep digging, we're gonna find her.

Okay.

March 20th, 1865, the day of the planned kidnapping,

although Lincoln never showed and it foiled their plan.

Two weeks later, Richmond surrendered to the Union army.

The potential kidnapping was a known fact.

It was written in all the history books.

- The night of April 15th. - Lincoln's assassination.

Yes.

My great-grandfather and John Wilkes Booth

came up with a plan to save the Confederacy.

They would be paid in gold coins

to assassinate the president of the United States, Abraham Lincoln.

That was just a rumor.

And those rumors disappeared the night that Lincoln was killed.

I'm not sure I follow you, Mr. Miller.

My great-grandfather murdered his associates for the gold,

and he set up John Wilkes Booth

because he knew that John would be caught at the theater.

I have the gold now. It's mine.

If what you're saying is true, Mr. Miller,

then it would greatly alter history.

History altered me.

I live with many secrets, Ms. Weingarten, but one of them is this...

It has bothered me my entire life

that the whole world thinks that John Wilkes Booth was the mastermind

behind the assassination of President Abraham Lincoln,

when it was my great-grandfather

who was the sole mastermind behind the killing.

Oh.

I see.

Well, when did your great-grandfather die?

He escaped an ambush during the final battle of the Civil War.

Palmito Ranch, Texas, May 13th, 1865.

Knowing he would not survive, he met a woman...

who would alter his life forever.

So he escaped with some Confederate soldiers

who would protect him and his gold...

for all eternity.

Eternity.

Well, that's an awful long time, so, um...

So, where is the gold today?

I have it.

You have it.

Where?

Like... here?

Okay.

So, uh, one last question:

Then why would you give us your story to tell?

You're opening yourself to Pandora's Box.

Any nutjob will be banging down your door.

I live with Pandora's Box, Ms. Weingarten.

Let them come.

That's not all I mean. Like, why just now?

Why not your great-grandfather? Why not your father?

Why wait 150 years after the war?

I've heard many tales, many accounts,

many fables of my great-grandfather, Dr. Vincent J. Miller.

This is my opportunity to set the record straight

and... talk about who he actually was.

Well, thank you.

Thank you, Mr. Miller, for telling me your story.

My pleasure.

- Thank you. - For our time together.

Scratch, will you please remove my microphone?

What the fuck is going on with this?

Scratch, please tell me that you got this all?

We have a project in Glendale next.

Janet.

Like near Ridgewood Glendale?

Queens, lollipop. I think, I don't know.

Janet, I was hoping you could remove some of this makeup.

Vincent, uh, you scared me. I didn't see you come in.

It's funny, I thought you could hear me talking to you.

Well, sit and let me make you beautiful.

I'll get out of your...

Your house is so amazing.

When I was a kid, I had a dollhouse

that my Uncle Joe made for me that looked just like this.

Are we having fun yet, Cosmo?

You come to my house to snoop?

You just put all of these people in danger.

Cosmo, are you okay?

Yeah.

I gotta... gotta go check on something.

I'm glad you can hear me, Cosmo.

Jesus.

Uh, yeah, could you put me through to Detective Dyer, please?

Richard Dyer, yeah.

Um... tell him it's Cosmo.

Seth Cosmo.

Richard, hey, it's Cosmo.

It's gonna need to be tonight, man.

Yeah.

I got a hunch about Lana and this Miller guy.

Richard, ju...

Bring your new partner, Carol.

I don't know, make some shit up.

Use something I said in my statement.

Bye.

This can't be right.

What's up?

No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

I was rolling on an empty chair.

This doesn't even make sense.

He was sitting there for three fucking hours!

Okay, relax, relax, before you get all angry.

I told you to watch the damn camera!

Don't yell at me! I didn't break the damn camera!

If I did, you wouldn't have recorded a damn chair.

Just hold on.

This is a total waste of time.

Okay, look.

Maybe we could use the stills that Lexy was snapping with the audio from Scratch

and you have your segment, Christina.

- Christina... - Don't, stop...

I don't even know how to explain this.

Oh, my God.

- What, Scratch, what? - No audio.

How is that even possible?

You were sitting there listening to every word he said for three fucking hours!

I don't know.

I adjusted as we went along.

I can't explain this.

Shit.

- Watch your language. - I'm 16.

And, so now it's okay for you to curse?

How is this even you?

You never drop the ball like this!

Look, I hear you great.

- Nothing from him. - Shit!

Christina!

Something wrong?

Just issues with the equipment.

It's not your equipment.

It's times like this where I really hate this curse.

I feel so isolated.

I'm not following.

This is a little embarrassing to ask,

but I'm wondering if there's any way

that perhaps you could film a couple things for us again?

I am sorry, I cannot. Took a lot outta me.

I have some other business to attend to.

Christina, I'm sorry.

I'm gonna pack up, take a shower, veg out.

I may even go home tonight.

How about we take the pictures from Lexy

and roll them together...

with the synopsis and...

Look, why don't we just cut our losses and cut this show from the segment?

Okay. You know, I'm really tired

and maybe I'll just take a nap.

I wanna leave. This-this place is freaking me out.

Vincent... I don't know, let's just go.

Did something happen?

Everyone seems pretty tense.

Go to your makeup room, lollipop.

Chris.

What the hell?

I did not shoot 500 photos with the lens cap on.

Are you fucking kidding me?

Lex!

Lex!

- Hey. - Hey.

- We need to talk. - Yeah.

- Yeah, we do. - You all right?

- No. - Come on. What's going on?

- No, there was a thing in there. - What thing, what happened?

- I don't know what the fuck it was! - Lex!

- Lex! - What?!

Okay, this looks like a typical... a typical basement.

This doesn't feel right. The basement is a bad idea.

He had something to do with Lana Hill going missing.

Richard and Carol will figure it out when they get here.

Okay, if he had something to do with it,

then we'd be able to find something down here then.

He doesn't cast a reflection in a mirror.

Can we just...

Can we just say what needs to be said here?

He's a fucking vampire.

A vampire?

- Lex... - That sounds totally ridiculous.

Did you just... Did you hear what just came out of your mouth?

Okay, Seth, a vampire?

- Hey, there's a jukebox. - Lex.

Al Jolson.

Uh...

"Happy Days Are Here To Stay."

Damn, these records are old.

Whoa, did you feel that?

It's like déjà vu.

Déjà vu.

What?

Déjà vu.

It's him.

He has been fucking with us.

I know who...

or what you are.

You got me, Cosmo.

You're right, I am a vampire.

See, Lex?

I told you.

Seth. What are you doing?

I've been chasing missing people for a long time.

After a while, you develop a knack for identifying those who stick out.

Let me guess.

Your Civil War story?

- That's not your grandfather. - Mm...

It's you.

The skin condition, the air.

Very bright, Cosmo.

Once again, you are correct.

I am Dr. Vincent J. Miller.

Those wackadoos upstairs, fussing around with their equipment,

trying to figure out why they can't figure you out.

- But we know why, don't we? - Oh, we sure do, don't we, Cosmo?

Who are you talking to?

Cosmo.

Seth, what are you doing?

Let's have a drink, shall we?

This is a very fine Kentucky straight bourbon whisky.

It's rather old, though.

I personally snatched it from General Grant's headquarters.

Very smooth.

Don't spill it.

Here's to 14 years of being on the wagon.

No, here's to being liberated after 14 years.

I was liberated at the end of the Civil War

by the woman who would alter my life forever.

Hello!

Wake up, what are you doing?

Have you been drinking?

Ah...

Cosmo, what are you doing?

He's pouring.

- He's okay. - Who are you talking to?

Miller.

Is that when you turned into a vampire?

- Yes. - Seth, what are you doing?

You do realize that you've put everyone in grave danger

with your unauthorized investigation?

Even your friends, Richard and Carol, who are currently on their way.

We gotta get outta here.

Seth, come on, we gotta go!

You're just trying to get inside my head.

You afraid of crucifixes or some shit?

I was raised Catholic.

Crucifixes, holy water, they don't work.

Seth, let's go!

Garlic, I love garlic.

Growing in my backyard as we speak.

Seth! Seth...

Stake through the heart, hurts like hell, won't kill me.

Now, silver, mm.

Come on, we gotta go.

- That stings. - Seth!

Let's go!

Seth! Seth!

No! No...

Please!

Please!

I didn't know you were in here.

Janet, what are you doing?

Oh, shit, there's no soap.

Scratch, can you hand me the soap, please?

Uh, yeah. Sure.

Here, uh, look up above the shower curtain.

I can't reach that.

Can you hand it to me like a gentleman, please?

There you go. Where's the soap?

Oh-oh, here.

It's really hot in here.

You don't like it steamy?

Not when I can't see you, that's no fun.

I didn't think we'd be doing this right here.

I can't see you.

I'm sure if you wanted, you could reach out and touch me.

Janet, it's really hot in here.

Hello!

Hello?

Hello, can you hear me?

Hello?

In here, sweetie.

Come on in, sweetie.

Come on, come on!

I'm waiting for you.

It's me.

It's me.

Hello?

Come in here, sweetie.

I can hear you.

I can hear you.

Mrs. O'Brian?

This is what you're gonna do, McMahon.

You're gonna clean up my investment.

You're gonna put it in that machine, see?

And you're gonna run production as planned.

Do I make myself clear, Mr. McMahon?

Because... I won't hesitate.

I will shoot you right here, right now.

Right where you stand.

- Oh, God. - Do I make myself clear?

- Mr... - I hate this show.

Nancy, why do you like such crap?

It's not crap, it's fun.

And good morning to you, sleepyhead.

- Hey, where is everybody? - I don't know.

I haven't seen anybody since we wrapped filming hours ago.

Where's Scratch?

I think he went upstairs to take a shower.

It's midnight.

Why did you let me sleep so long?

You said you wanted to sleep.

Yeah, well, we gotta get going.

Okay, let's go.

Hey.

This is stuck.

You think Vincent locked us in here?

Yeah, okay.

That can't be the same door that we just came in.

Obviously not.

This house is so weird.

I don't know, did we come through this door?

Freaking creepy.

I could've sworn we came through this door.

Oh, come on right now!

Christina, just open it!

Come on!

- What the fuck? - Language.

But you're right. What the fuck?

Oh, God.

Grab your phone and let's get the hell out of here.

Now.

- This is so weird. - Let's go.

Shh, shh, shh.

Okay.

- Shh, shh. - I'm scared.

Listen, baby, something is not right here.

You understand me?

There's a casket...

- I need you to hide in there. - No.

- Yeah.

Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh.

I will not let anything happen to you. You understand me?

- You're gonna have to hide in there. - No, no, no, no, no.

- It's gonna be okay, baby. - Why?

- You go in there. - No...

Please. Please, Nancy, go.

- Thank you for taking care of us. - That's what we do.

I've never been to a funeral parlor that's open 24 hours.

It's odd hours for some, convenient for others.

We are the only funeral parlor open 24 hours in the neighborhood,

in fact, the entire region.

Mm. I guess business is good.

We provide value.

As you can see, there is a casket for all types of budgets.

Usually they select one

based on who the person was during the course of their life.

What type of person was your father, Richard?

A real piece of work.

But it's her father.

Yes, unfortunately he was.

Look, I just wanna bury the man and move on with my life, okay?

The man wasn't present throughout my whole life,

and he treated my mother like shit till her death.

So, it's his turn.

So, you know what? Just... whatever.

Very sorry to hear that.

I understand.

If it's price, we have options.

No, he left us a ton of money,

as well as a ton of money to bury him.

That one. Let's just go with that one.

Four-two-two-nine-eight.

For the price, you can't beat it.

So how long will we be laying Fred out for viewing?

He had no friends or family, just us.

I think we can skip that part.

How much do we save?

Oh, there will be savings.

Let's go back to the office.

Please.

Randolph, 4-2-2-9-8, please.

Christina, please.

Nancy. Nancy.

What do you wanna do? We have, like, five minutes.

- We gotta check these rooms. - Fuck.

It's locked.

Hey!

I only wanted to tell my story, Christina.

You send investigators into my house to snoop?

If they had gotten out, if they had exploited me,

I would be the first stop on every future investigation.

I couldn't take that risk, Christina.

So it ends tonight!

That's right, it does.

Oh, come on.

No, no, no.

Help me.

No, no, no, no, no.

Help!

Help me!

Oh, my God.

Christina?

Christina!

Christina!

Christina!

Help, help, help!

Nancy?

Nancy?

Nancy!

Nancy! Nancy, baby!

No, honey, please!

Nancy!

Nancy, please!

Nancy!

I'm so sorry...

Help!

Help, help!

Help, please, help!

Help me, please!

Please, help, please!

Hey, hey, hey, hey. Are you crazy or something?

I could've killed you.

- Thank you. - What the hell are you doing,

jumping in the middle of the damn street anyway?

- They killed my sister. - Is someone chasing you?

He killed my sister.

Let me take you to the doctor or-or the sheriff, or both.

Everybody's-everybody's dead.

Let me take you to my cousin. My cousin is a doctor.

- He lives just down the street. - Everybody's dead.

Oh, don't you worry, little girl.

I'll figure it out, all right?

He's one of the best doctors. We're coming up on his house right now.

- No, no. - What's the matter?

No, let me out!

- No, no, no! - He's only a doctor.

No! No, let me out!

You're freaking out like he's gonna bite you or something.

No!

No, no, no, no!

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