All language subtitles for The Magicians - 02x01 - Knight Of Crowns

Previously on "The Magicians"...

We summoned some kind of killer
moth man from another world.

My friends who got separated
and I just--

I can't let them fight
The Beast on their own.

You want me to come
to Fillory with you?

All right, so there might be
a solution here, a weapon.

It sounds like, if we could find it,

we could use it to kill The Beast.

- Payment is due.
- Apparently marriage here

- is different.
- I can never leave Fillory.

I have gifted you my Bestowal.

When you are ready to face The Beast,

imbibe it.

We followed all the clues.

We thought
that She was leading us to Her.

We summoned Her.

You know, I actually believed
Our Lady Underground chose me.

You may address me
as Reynard the Fox,

Trickster of the faithful,
the pure of heart,

the very stupid.

Hi, Martin.

Ahh!

Wait.

You know how to deal with gods.

You know how to fuck up their shit.

- I want to make a deal.
- Let's.

♪ We learned how ♪

Help!

♪ On our own ♪

Somebody!

♪ Never needing ♪

♪ Help from you ♪

There's gotta be someone

in this motherfucking
goddamn magical forest.

♪ Reaching out ♪

Get up.

People are dying.

♪ With eyes closed ♪

♪ We felt the light ♪

♪ It taught us to grow ♪

Hungry, I assume?

After all that being chased?

No, um, I'm not being chased.

Oh.
Usually they're being chased.

That I know of, no.

But you do need some kind of help.

Uh, it's just where
I come from there's a legend

about a witch
with a cottage made of candy.

Well, the cottage is mostly wood,

and I'm more of a healer and...

gardening enthusiast.

Okay.

I need your help.

And you're offering...?

- Offering? Um--
- Gold...is always good.

You would be helping
the next High King of Fillory.

Okay.

Then my discount rate.

One vial.

Vial of what?

Were you dropped on your head
as a child?

Your blood, dum-dum.

There you are.

We were so worried.

You're, uh...

God-powered.

So it's a little hard
to kill me at the moment.

Ahh!

Thank God.

I mean, you know,

thank God, Alice.

I hesitated.

With The Beast,
I should have--it's--

it's my fault.

No, it's not, I--

No, he's right.

It's Julia's fault.

No, guys.

- She--she's not sane.
- You think?

One small consolation

is the bitch is
with The Beast right now,

and I can't really see
that going her way.

No, it, uh,
I'll explain it in a second.

Um, can I have my blood back, please?

Look, my friends, they're fine.

- I don't need your--
- No.

I took an hour out of my night.

You're in Fillory, Magician.

Be careful with strangers.

We only look whimsical.

- Who was that?
- Uh, a local.

Okay, fuckers, huddle up.

Zillion bucks says The Beast
comes back any minute,

so what's the plan?

We lost the blade,
so we need a new something.

Um, especially while Alice
is still--

- Juiced up?
- We should all juice up.

Like The Beast.
Wellspring smoothies, stat.

Ahh!
Shit.

There's a missing piece right there.

Oh, hey, I think I--
uh, yeah.

Ahh!

This is going great.

Let me try.

Wow, swallowing has its privileges.

- Wow, it looks like--
- A major drought's hit.

There's a bucket.

Shit.

I knew The Beast came here
every day, but is it--

but is it even possible for him

to drain the Wellspring that much?

He really threw something
out of whack.

I vote we don't touch it
on the grounds

that exploding Fillory wouldn't help.

Okay.
We need a new plan.

What plan?
The Beast is gone.

Our squad is a joke.
What plan, exactly?

We'll figure it out.
We always do.

When it's a final to cheat on,

not when we're stuck
in some epic fantasy

that likes to behead its heroes
halfway through season one.

If we even are heroes.

We might be comic relief.

I thought you threw that out.

It's for emergencies.
Pass it around.

Okay.
No Wellspring, no knife.

I have no idea what to do now.

So we are fucked without grease.

- That sounds like us.
- Must be a Monday.

Onward to glory.

The Magicians
02x01 - Knight Of Crowns
Original Air Date - January 25, 2017

Ah, much better.

Why are--are we--

Ah, the food is tremendous.

Let's sit.

- You familiar?
- Word as bond?

Uh, I assume the extra bits
enchant the blade

to kill me instantly

in the event I break it, eh.

Okay, here's the deal--

You need to kill a god.

Thrilling.

So you need to get near him.

- Tricky.
- Yes, but you can help.

Mm.

His...name
is Reynard the Fox.

A trickster of some sorts, yes?

Oh, that will be a challenge.

Well, you don't really have
much choice, do you?

Oh, well aware you have
that stylish little blade.

I sure do.

That reminds me to insist
the terms of our deal

include said blade reverting to me

at the moment of Reynard's demise.

- Agreed?
- Almost.

First, for the duration
of our agreement,

you do not hurt
or act against me in any way.

Mm, fine.

Quentin, all of them.

You lay a finger,

this will put this

in the base of your skull.

You're not what I expected.

Once Reynard is dead,
I put the knife down.

Yours to take.

So this Reynard's still out there?

As far as she knows.

Yeah, it's why she needed the knife

and why she needs The Beast.

Okay, I get it now,
but I also have to say

that is the dumbest thing
she could possibly have done.

Like I said,
she's not sane right now.

- I wouldn't be.
- So what are we supposed to do?

- Kill The Beast.
- He's right.

You know, it's awful,

but she chose
to double-cross us.

Look, I'm pissed too,
but I would like to point out--

Okay, we don't have to take
a vote right this second.

Penny's right.
First things first.

We need to make a plan
to deal with The Beast.

Eliot!

I thought for sure you--

Yeah, me too.
Not yet.

Are--are you all right?

Um, I'll--I'll get everyone
something to eat.

That would be amazing.

I think I like her.

I hope I like her.

Um, okay.
This might be something.

Um, so there's a-a-a place

called The Armory.

- Weapons?
- Books.

Uh, So Rupert Chatwin,

uh, he realizes that back home,

World War II is still raging

and he tells Jane and Martin
that he is going--

he's--he's going to go fight.
Before he does,

uh, he spends all night
in The Armory reading.

Uh, and, uh, you know,
like, whatever he finds,

it doesn't say,

but his next move
is to petition Ember and Umber

for strength.

I mean, what--
what if he found something?

What if he found, uh, a spell

or a piece of, I don't know,
Fillorian Battle Magic

that was so strong
that he couldn't do it without--

- Without juice?
- Yeah, because the--

okay, the thing is, this is, uh,

December, 1944.

I mean, he shows up
right in the middle of the--

Battle of the Bulge.

Wait, are you saying
that Rupert secretly--

I'm saying, uh...

maybe he found something
powerful enough to help.

And win World War II?

Maybe.

Well then, I need The Armory.
Where is it?

Castle Whitespire.
Accessible to...

the King.

Oh, hey.

And if we can find
the road, there's, um,

a carriage that runs
in a continuous circle, uh,

also at the disposal
of the King, so...

Okay.
Whitespire it is.

Come on, everybody.
Grab snacks.

Yeah, uh, about that.

My hands are in a fucking box,

so Chatwin's Torrent.

I-I know that one.
It's, um, it's a healing river.

- Can it reattach hands?
- Maybe.

I'm going.
I'll catch you on the flip.

Wait, no, I don't think
you should be going alone.

I'll go.
Um, healing water?

We're going to battle.
I'll grab, like, a gallon.

You're wiping your own ass,
so figure that out.

- Souvenir?
- Barometer.

Thought I should pay attention
to see if it gets warm.

Whoa. Hey, guys.

Hey, over here!

Oh, my God,
those horses are so beautiful.

Uh, hey.
What are you doing?

- I just really love horses.
- Come on.

Hup!

You have got to be kidding me.

I know, those horses were so rude.

I guess they're a tad literal.

Yeah. I'd call needing to see
an actual crown

on my head as pretty goddamn literal.

Look, it's not just
about the carriage.

They're not gonna let us
into Whitespire

until you've been crowned
High King, so...

So we--we need
to get you crowned.

Uh...

Okay, yeah.
Um, so there's a--

there's a specific coronation place

in the forest.

There are four kings and queens.

Yeah, you get to pick
the other three.

Do I get to be a king?

Unless you want me to pick Penny.

So, okay, so we get
to the coronation spot

by crossing the Rainbow Bridge.

Rainbow Bridge? Like where
family pets go when they die?

No.
I mean, not that I know of.

No, it's called that because of
the flowers that are everywhere.

- Oh.
- Um, but there is, of course,

no map,

but I know Martin found it
with a spell.

Well, we could always
just ask around.

Or we could make like Martin.

He loves me.

He loves me not.

He loves me.

He loves me not.

Uh, he loves me.
Let's go.

Ah.

Uh, please know
I heard every loophole.

"Put the knife down."

You really think
you have a fighting chance?

I think I'm gonna give it my best.

Oh, this is going to be fun.

Nice of Reynard to pull
so many hearts out of chests.

It's, uh, distinctive.

Why do you suppose he does that?

- He likes the taste.
- Mm.

Brilliant, that, uh, laptop.

The things they come up with
when they don't have magic.

Yeah, like accounts that tweet
police scanner activity.

"Tweet"?

Birds have computer accounts?

Don't worry about it.

- Mm.
- Wait a minute.

They found five bodies
at a house in Florida.

Missing a couple of hearts.

Okay, just try to keep people
away for a minute.

- Nicely.
- Mm-hmm.

Hey, is this seat taken?

Excuse me, sir, this is--

Won't be but a moment.

He's still in Richard's body.

Richard doesn't care, darling.

I fucking do.

Well, so I guess
we came for not much.

On the contrary, we've
verified what attracts Reynard.

What?
Witches doing rituals?

I mean, that's thousands
of people every day.

Not this type of ritual.

Come on.

So, what do I do?

Well, per the books,

you strip and jump in, I guess.

Here, I'll help you.

You'll need to help him
sew those back on his wrists.

- Who are you?
- I watch the river.

And assist those
who require its magic.

This guy is fucking weird.

Go on.

Go. Go, go.

You know, you're very beautiful.

Where are you from, hmm?

Earth?

Love women from Earth.

Is it supposed to take this long?

No.
He may have drowned.

Are you kidding?
Why didn't you--

Oh, oh, oh.
There we go.

Are you sure I can't interest
you in an elixir?

It--it's small batch
and very fresh.

- No, thank you.
- I have a tooth powder

that I think you are going to love.

You know what?
We're kinda in a hurry.

I understand.
As you wish.

Pleasure to serve.

I think he wants a tip.

20 gold pieces is customary.

Okay, that sounds like a lot.

Well, this is Chatwin's Torrent.

We don't have--
there was nothing

about charging in the books.

Oh, uh, you'd rather pay in labor?

I think three to five years.

Are you fucking kidding me?

You said none of this
before I went in the river.

Because I have manners--

Are you even officially
affiliated with the Torrent?

Penny, chill out.

It's kind of an amateur calling.

Oh, I see.
Yes, yes, you're a con man.

- No, Penny--
- No, I know his type.

I've been ripped off plenty of times

by smiling little snake oil
pricks like this dude.

- Okay, all right.
- Same in Detroit,

same in Mumbai, same in Fillory.

- Okay.
- Sorry, try it on the next sap

who needs this natural resource
on public property.

Good luck.

I'm sorry.
He gets touchy.

It's--it's not personal.

Um, these are diamond.

- What the hell is diamond?
- Here.

When you meet one scammer,
you met 'em all. Let's go.

Okay.

Okay, so this net--
this net you throw,

what sort of a net catches a god?

Oh, it's an obscure bit of casting,

but I assure you it works.

We'll just have to act fast
when the time comes.

It'll hold for a few seconds.

So...

I need a few items.

Okay, it might be better for
me to go alone for some of this.

Uh, can you drop me
at the playground?

I like to watch
the little children play.

It's perfectly innocent.

Al, we got your note.

Let's do this.

I call High Queen.

Did it work?

Perfect.
Lead the way.

It's fine.
They're just healing.

♪ So you showed me
around your town ♪

♪ To hell again and back ♪

♪ Our love has served
to alienate ♪

♪ All the friends
you depend on ♪

♪ I know it might seem odd ♪

♪ 'Cause you're not
the only one ♪

♪ I remember myself
as a lonely child ♪

♪ So I was
and you got me wrong ♪

♪ You got me wrong ♪

♪ Ground your sense
of worth ♪

♪ Till the spark
of morning burns ♪

Do you think he's sleeping or dead?

I don't know, should we just
go into the trunk?

Oh, pussies.

- He looks dead.
- I guess we're late.

Oh, dear.

Oh, dear.

I am the Knight of Crowns.

Uh, my apologies.

I seem to have died waiting
for you aspirants to come.

Y-y-you are aspirants?

Uh--

I'm the High King of Fillory.

I took a blood test.

Excellent, excellent.
It's an honor.

Can we have the crowns, please?

Certainly.
Honored to oblige.

Just as soon as you pass the test.

Of course there's a test.

As you know, only a Child Of Earth

can wear the crown of the High King.

I will ask you a series of questions

designed to root out
all pretenders to the throne.

Only a true High King
will hold the answers

in his heart.

Come at me.

What popular American
television program

stars actor Tim Daly?

What the fuck?

He was in a lot of TV shows.

There is only one correct answer.

Okay.
Give me the next question.

This hit single
is performed by offspring

of famous entertainers.

Dude, that is crazy vague.

You will receive a single hint.

Your hint is Beach Boys.

"Hold On" by Wilson Phillips.

That song is my jam.

Wait, all these questions
are from the '90s.

It--it's not the 1990s
on Earth right now?

No, it--it's 2017.

Oh, and it's, uh, "Wings,"
the--the Tim Daly show. "Wings."

- Of course you know that.
- Okay, '90s.

Ask me something
about Patrick Swayze.

You know of Swayze?

Ahem.

"Sorry about the disruption, folks,

"but I always do the last dance
of the season.

"This year somebody told me not to.

"So I'm gonna do my kind of dancing

"with a great partner,

"who's not only a terrific dancer.

"Somebody who's taught me

"that there are people out there
willing to stand up

"for other people
no matter what it costs them.

"Somebody who's taught me

"about the kind of person
I want to be.

Miss Frances Houseman."

Oh, Your Majesty.

The crowns of Fillory are yours.

So I guess we just put them on.

No, God, stop.

I mean, I just--
we should do a-a ceremony.

This is only gonna happen once.

We are becoming kings and queens,

so...it's important
and we should honor it.

Just give me that.

Kneel, Eliot Waugh.

Would you just do it?
It's gonna be quick, I promise.

So, destiny is--
it's bullshit.

But you are High King in your blood.

And somehow that makes sense,
you know?

And I-I just--
for what it's worth,

I think that you are going to be
a really good king.

Um, so, um,
I-I dub thee,

um, I don't know.

Would you say, like,
you're more brave or merciful?

I'd say I'm neither.

But I still plan to be
a spectacular monarch.

I hereby dub thee

High King Eliot

the Spectacular.

Wow, uh,

this feels as natural as underwear.

Thank you.

By the power vested in me by...

I have no idea,

I do hereby crown you

High Queen Margo

the Destroyer.

I mean that
in the best possible sense.

Uh, all hail.
Everyone clap.

I have known what you truly are

since the day we met.

Long may you reign.

I feel it's incumbent upon me

to promise never again
to betray you like I did.

I really--
really am sorry.

I have some character defects.
I'm working on it.

Honestly.

I'm working on some too.

Well, on that note,

I crown you Queen Alice

the Wise.

No, wait.

Since we're cleaning slates
and shit, give me.

Q.

Uh, I could start
by saying something cruel

yet totally hilarious about you.

Let's be real, you're an easy target.

But that's--

well, that's because you're
honest about what you love.

And underneath it all, that's...

inspiring.

And I'm sorry too.

Not about the sex,

I don't even really remember it.

Mostly my part in fucking up
something that was good for you.

Thanks, I think
I fucked it up just fine myself.

Now that we're ruling
a kingdom together,

I hope we can be
whatever we were again.

I guess you could call that friends.

Let's go with that.

I hereby crown you King Quentin

the Moderately Socially Maladjusted.

- Scrunch down.
- Yeah.

Royalty, bitches.

Okay.

Shit.

Hey, everything okay?

I'm going back to the Torrent.

You think that guy
did something to you

'cause you were a raging douche?

I'll sweet-talk him.

Get him to fix my hands, then--
then I'll head to the castle.

Everything's under control.

Alice.

Apology accepted.

That was you apologizing
for what you did.

I just--

if we survive this,
I hope we can be friends still.

I know it may sound stupid,

but that's what I'm mad at you for,

not--not the cheating part.

The part where what you did
made me lose you.

And you're a big part
of my life, Quentin.

You can never lose me, Alice.

I mean, you can avoid me,
you can hate me--

I don't hate you.

Well, you can't lose me.

Sorry.

I just--
I can't stop thinking.

We're gonna find
this epic spell, great.

But I'm afraid I'm just gonna...

freeze again when The Beast
is in front of me.

You're thinking about it wrong.

Cool under pressure is not a talent.

It's a--it's a skill,
and you need to practice.

You--come on.

We stood on a roof together
during the Trials,

and you told me that you were
afraid to see

what you're really capable of.

That was then.

So let's see what you can do now.

I'm not sure it'll help.

Then do it for me.
I'm not gonna lie.

I--I'm dying to see
what you can do.

I'm not a Naturalist.

You know the spell, we all do.

We just sucked at it.

Let's see what you can do now.

Oh.
That feels...

it's just like breathing.

See?
Nice.

So how do you feel now?

We're not getting back together.

Okay.

I've been wondering something.

Why didn't Reynard kill you
with your friends?

Why were you spared?

You weren't spared, were you?

Look, let's not go there, okay?

You know, when I was a boy,

a man who was meant to care for me

bent me over his desk
and had me over and over

every time I was alone with him.

It helps me understand a truth.

You're powerful or you're weak.

If you're powerful, you will survive.

So what, you're suggesting
I just get over it?

Actually, yes.

How?
Mutate?

Take over a world,

kill a bunch of grad students
39 times?

Eh, see, what you feel,

the haunted look in your eyes,

doesn't come from nowhere.

Then where does it come from?

In the center of your being,

there's a tiny beating heart.

What, you mean like my soul?

Part of it, yes, the slimmest part,

but it holds specific power.

It's called a Shade.

Shade.

It's what makes you feel

the pain will burn you
till there's nothing.

And, yes, it's also there for love,

but, uh, let's be frank, darling,

you're more likely
to throw yourself off a bridge

than ever love again.

I felt that way.

And I knew it crippled me
when I needed to be strong.

As you do now.

You know...

I don't care for people, as a rule.

I like you.

You have promise.

With the right control,
you would be formidable.

Even a worthy collaborator.

I have plans.
You could be part of them.

- If?
- Do what I did.

Sever your shade.

- Sever.
- It's not hard.

You'll feel better.

You'll feel happy.

I can show you how.

No, thank you.

Do let me know
if you change your mind.

Eliot!

The crown suits you, of course.

- Who are all these people?
- The Pickwick family.

They've been running things
till Children of Earth came.

Your Highness.

Tick Pickwick
of the Northern Marsh Pickwicks,

at your service.

The rest of the King's Council
will arrive shortly.

- Great.
- So glad you're here.

There are a few problems.

Uh, several problems

that could use
your immediate attention.

Ah, okay, great.
We should probably get started.

First, your throne room.

I'm afraid it's been locked
a long time.

- We're looking for the key.
- That's fine.

Uh, take me straight to the Armory.

The Armory, your, uh, highnesses.

Well, this is underwhelming.

This is supposed to be full of books.

"Strategies for Trapping
Tomato-eating Garden Fairies."

Yeah, no.

Someone took all the battle magic.

It's not like The Beast
is coming to find us any second.

Wait, this is something.

It's an--it's a workbook
on spells, serious ones.

Looks like battle magic.

But the actual spells aren't here.

Hmm, like notes on cake,
but no actual recipes.

That's helpful.

Who wrote it?

- Oh, my God.
- What?

I know where we need to go.

Brakebills?

Hello?
Mr., uh, Mr.--

Fuck!

Can I help you?

Hell, yes, you can.
These don't work.

Well, by all means, request a refund.

Very funny.
You did this on purpose.

Did what? Help an ungrateful
Child of Earth?

Look, I'll pay you
whatever you want, okay?

I'm--I'm serious, okay?

I'm friends
with the kings and queens.

You want to be a duke,
great, I got you--

Actions have consequences, Penny.

Even glib words spoken
in casual arrogance.

It's past time you learned,

especially give the position
you'll occupy soon.

What position?

You know what?
I've done you a service.

No, no,
Look, hey, I'm--

I'm sorry, okay?

Please fix my hands.

See, how do I put this
in a way that you'll understand?

Ah, go fuck yourself.

No, wait!

Fuck!

Hang on to this while I'm gone.

Oh.

You guys all packed?

Yeah.

El, thank you.

For what?
For, um, taking one for the team

to the tune of the rest of my life?

I'm trying to see this ruling thing

as an adventure.

Apparently we have enemies
to the north and south.

Plus broken infrastructure
and huge magic issues

thanks to The Beast
and his Wellspring addiction.

And do you know they don't know
what champagne is here?

I plan on inventing it.

I'd like to be known as...

the Champagne King.

It has a ring to it.

- Right?
- Mm-hmm.

I'm really looking forward
to drinking socially,

like the French.

So, uh, in the books,

time doesn't exactly run
the same speed

on Earth as in Fillory.

I mean, look, sometimes it got screwy

when Jane and Martin
would go back and forth.

But not always.

It's gonna be fine.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Or I'll just live out my days

waiting for my friends
to return and die alone.

You know, it's considered
extremely disrespectful

to touch a king without permission.

But, um, I think you should...

probably hug me right now.

It'll also be okay if you just

give my ass, like, a little squeeze.

Feel free to, uh, double-check
this before I get started.

Julia?

Why do you want to help me

with my Shade?

Without your Shade,

you would see
a lot of things differently.

You'd be able to live, Julia.

Come here.

Let me show you.

- We're there.
- Put it back.

It's okay, it's okay.

I need it.

Put it back now, Martin.

Suit yourself.

I understand why you're afraid.

You don't want to lose yourself.

But hear me on this.

Martyring yourself to your pain

isn't all it's advertised to be.

It'll destroy you.

There's no glory in that.

You might get Reynard, yes.

But he'll still win.

Anyways.