Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:03,004 --> 00:00:06,872
[♪♪♪]
2
00:01:13,107 --> 00:01:14,151
Who is it?
3
00:01:14,175 --> 00:01:15,852
It's Smiley Rogers.
4
00:01:15,876 --> 00:01:19,523
Smiley Rogers, what
are you doing here?
5
00:01:19,547 --> 00:01:20,547
Coming.
6
00:01:31,492 --> 00:01:32,469
Smiley.
7
00:01:32,493 --> 00:01:35,205
Oh, yeah!
8
00:01:35,229 --> 00:01:36,573
Where is it?
9
00:01:36,597 --> 00:01:38,241
Right over here, Smiley.
10
00:01:38,265 --> 00:01:40,510
Oh, I can't believe
you found me one.
11
00:01:40,534 --> 00:01:42,845
Yeah, there you go.
12
00:01:42,869 --> 00:01:44,448
I picked it up for 10 bucks,
13
00:01:44,472 --> 00:01:46,849
and I'll let you have
it for what I paid for it.
14
00:01:46,873 --> 00:01:48,407
Thanks a lot, Fred.
15
00:01:50,043 --> 00:01:51,521
Pretty good, huh?
16
00:01:51,545 --> 00:01:53,156
Oh, man, sounds perfect.
17
00:01:53,180 --> 00:01:54,580
[HUMMING]
18
00:01:57,851 --> 00:01:59,084
[HUMMING ALONG]
19
00:02:02,055 --> 00:02:03,032
[SINGING "'TIS AUTUMN"]
20
00:02:03,056 --> 00:02:05,602
♪ Old Father Time checked ♪
21
00:02:05,626 --> 00:02:09,372
♪ So there'd be no doubt ♪
22
00:02:09,396 --> 00:02:14,744
♪ To call on the north
wind To come on out ♪
23
00:02:14,768 --> 00:02:20,584
♪ Then cupped his hands
So proudly to shout ♪
24
00:02:20,608 --> 00:02:24,276
♪ La-di-dah,
di-lah-di-dum 'Tis autumn ♪
25
00:02:26,380 --> 00:02:28,558
♪ Trees say they're tired ♪
26
00:02:28,582 --> 00:02:30,360
♪ They've born too much fruit ♪
27
00:02:30,384 --> 00:02:31,861
♪ Mm-hmm ♪
28
00:02:31,885 --> 00:02:36,799
♪ Charmed on the
wayside There's no dispute ♪
29
00:02:36,823 --> 00:02:38,168
♪ Mm-hmm ♪
30
00:02:38,192 --> 00:02:42,739
♪ Now shedding leaves
They don't give a hoot ♪
31
00:02:42,763 --> 00:02:46,898
♪ La-di-dah,
di-lah-di-dah 'Tis autumn ♪
32
00:02:48,202 --> 00:02:51,515
♪ Then the birds got together ♪
33
00:02:51,539 --> 00:02:54,151
♪ To chirp about the weather ♪
34
00:02:54,175 --> 00:02:58,788
♪ Mm, mm, mm ♪
35
00:02:58,812 --> 00:03:02,492
♪ And after makin'
Their decision ♪
36
00:03:02,516 --> 00:03:04,894
♪ In birdie-like precision ♪
37
00:03:04,918 --> 00:03:06,163
♪ Turned about ♪
38
00:03:06,187 --> 00:03:07,497
♪ Whoa ♪
39
00:03:07,521 --> 00:03:10,867
♪ And made a
beeline To the south ♪
40
00:03:10,891 --> 00:03:16,273
♪ My holding you close
Really is no crime ♪
41
00:03:16,297 --> 00:03:22,412
♪ Ask the birds and the
trees And Old Father Time ♪
42
00:03:22,436 --> 00:03:27,217
♪ It's just to help
The mercury climb ♪
43
00:03:27,241 --> 00:03:31,188
♪ La-di-dah,
di-lah-di-dah 'Tis autumn ♪
44
00:03:31,212 --> 00:03:32,189
What did you say?
45
00:03:32,213 --> 00:03:33,523
I said,
46
00:03:33,547 --> 00:03:36,793
♪ La-di-dah,
di-lah-di-dah 'Tis autumn ♪
47
00:03:36,817 --> 00:03:37,960
Just one more time.
48
00:03:37,984 --> 00:03:39,362
No...
49
00:03:39,386 --> 00:03:45,123
♪ La-di-dah, di-lah-di-dah
'Tis autumn ♪♪
50
00:03:49,162 --> 00:03:50,662
[NO AUDIBLE DIALOGUE]
51
00:03:54,368 --> 00:03:57,914
Yeah... Well, that
was nice, man.
52
00:03:57,938 --> 00:03:59,516
I'll see you around, Fred.
53
00:03:59,540 --> 00:04:01,184
I had a good time today, man.
54
00:04:01,208 --> 00:04:03,553
That was really nice
singing that old song.
55
00:04:03,577 --> 00:04:06,889
Incidentally, thanks
for the temple.
56
00:04:06,913 --> 00:04:08,157
Hey, just a moment.
57
00:04:08,181 --> 00:04:10,927
We sang, reminisced, and
had fun and all that stuff,
58
00:04:10,951 --> 00:04:15,298
but the temple... This is $10.
59
00:04:15,322 --> 00:04:17,166
Oh, yeah.
60
00:04:17,190 --> 00:04:19,269
Well, can't I owe it to you?
61
00:04:19,293 --> 00:04:20,726
Oh, no.
62
00:04:22,829 --> 00:04:26,298
♪ La-di-dah,
di-lah-di-dah 'Tis autumn ♪
63
00:04:35,409 --> 00:04:39,322
♪ La-di-di, di-lah-di-dum
'Tis money ♪♪
64
00:04:39,346 --> 00:04:40,346
[KNOCKING]
65
00:04:41,749 --> 00:04:42,726
Who is it?
66
00:04:42,750 --> 00:04:43,760
It's your sister.
67
00:04:43,784 --> 00:04:44,784
Oh.
68
00:04:55,296 --> 00:04:56,740
Hi, Fred. Frances.
69
00:04:56,764 --> 00:04:58,575
Oh! Hi.
70
00:04:58,599 --> 00:05:00,310
I don't remember that
door ever being locked
71
00:05:00,334 --> 00:05:01,544
during the day.
72
00:05:01,568 --> 00:05:03,313
Well, that's the penalty
for being the landlord.
73
00:05:03,337 --> 00:05:04,514
Oh, my...
74
00:05:04,538 --> 00:05:06,283
Are you having trouble
with the residents
75
00:05:06,307 --> 00:05:07,950
of the Sanford Arms?
76
00:05:07,974 --> 00:05:09,952
Yeah, you know, you
try to be nice and friendly
77
00:05:09,976 --> 00:05:11,220
and treat people kindly...
78
00:05:11,244 --> 00:05:12,455
They walk right over you.
79
00:05:12,479 --> 00:05:14,157
Oh, what are they doing?
80
00:05:14,181 --> 00:05:15,592
Well, when they moved in,
81
00:05:15,616 --> 00:05:17,394
I told them if they
ever had a problem,
82
00:05:17,418 --> 00:05:18,395
my door was open.
83
00:05:18,419 --> 00:05:19,696
Walk right in.
84
00:05:19,720 --> 00:05:22,399
So when they have a
problem, they walk right in.
85
00:05:22,423 --> 00:05:25,702
You need a resident
manager, you know,
86
00:05:25,726 --> 00:05:26,703
someone who would take care
87
00:05:26,727 --> 00:05:28,438
of all those problems.
88
00:05:28,462 --> 00:05:30,640
Someone who would live in
there and look after the place,
89
00:05:30,664 --> 00:05:33,810
and someone who
would live there rent free.
90
00:05:33,834 --> 00:05:35,211
Rent free?
91
00:05:35,235 --> 00:05:36,212
Mm-hmm.
92
00:05:36,236 --> 00:05:37,380
Are you crazy?
93
00:05:37,404 --> 00:05:38,748
Does Ford give away his cars?
94
00:05:38,772 --> 00:05:39,749
No.
95
00:05:39,773 --> 00:05:42,218
Does Levi give away his pants?
96
00:05:42,242 --> 00:05:44,443
Does Sara Lee
give away her buns?
97
00:05:47,581 --> 00:05:50,949
Well, all right.
98
00:05:58,592 --> 00:06:01,671
I finally picked a time
when the vault was open.
99
00:06:01,695 --> 00:06:02,905
What vault?
100
00:06:02,929 --> 00:06:04,941
Getting in here is tougher
than cracking Fort Knox.
101
00:06:04,965 --> 00:06:07,944
Does something
happen to be wrong here,
102
00:06:07,968 --> 00:06:09,479
Mrs. Hopkins?
103
00:06:09,503 --> 00:06:13,182
Yes, something happens to
be wrong here, Mr. Sanford,
104
00:06:13,206 --> 00:06:15,051
and here it is in
alphabetical order.
105
00:06:15,075 --> 00:06:16,419
Number one. Wait a minute, now.
106
00:06:16,443 --> 00:06:18,054
You send that to
our London office.
107
00:06:18,078 --> 00:06:19,922
Oh, Fred.
108
00:06:19,946 --> 00:06:22,459
See, the real estate
branch of Sanford Arms
109
00:06:22,483 --> 00:06:24,994
is located in London,
Piccadilly Square.
110
00:06:25,018 --> 00:06:27,864
That's our motto,
"Piccadilly, starve a cold."
111
00:06:27,888 --> 00:06:31,200
Oh, for God... Good day.
112
00:06:31,224 --> 00:06:33,803
Well what exactly is
wrong with your apartment,
113
00:06:33,827 --> 00:06:34,804
Mrs. Hopkins?
114
00:06:34,828 --> 00:06:35,805
Who are you?
115
00:06:35,829 --> 00:06:36,806
I'm his sister.
116
00:06:36,830 --> 00:06:38,441
I'm May Hopkins. How do you do?
117
00:06:38,465 --> 00:06:39,642
Nice to meet you.
118
00:06:39,666 --> 00:06:41,878
Oh, yes. Hoppy's mother... Yes.
119
00:06:41,902 --> 00:06:43,646
And you're living
next door, huh?
120
00:06:43,670 --> 00:06:44,647
That is correct.
121
00:06:44,671 --> 00:06:45,815
I'm living in the ghetto
122
00:06:45,839 --> 00:06:48,284
with my black brothers
and black sisters and...
123
00:06:48,308 --> 00:06:49,753
red ants.
124
00:06:49,777 --> 00:06:53,590
I told you... I told
you before, no pets.
125
00:06:53,614 --> 00:06:55,079
Oh...
126
00:06:56,550 --> 00:06:58,961
Furthermore, I need
a new window shade
127
00:06:58,985 --> 00:07:00,162
for my bedroom.
128
00:07:00,186 --> 00:07:01,564
What's wrong with
the old window shade?
129
00:07:01,588 --> 00:07:03,099
It will not roll
up, Mr. Sanford.
130
00:07:03,123 --> 00:07:04,300
Well that don't
make no difference,
131
00:07:04,324 --> 00:07:05,334
because there ain't nothing
132
00:07:05,358 --> 00:07:06,736
outside the window
for you to see,
133
00:07:06,760 --> 00:07:07,904
and I'm sure anybody outside
134
00:07:07,928 --> 00:07:09,208
don't want to look in.
135
00:07:11,298 --> 00:07:12,575
Is that an insult?
136
00:07:12,599 --> 00:07:14,511
Is a bullfrog waterproof?
137
00:07:14,535 --> 00:07:18,214
Just get cracking on
that list, Mr. Sanford.
138
00:07:18,238 --> 00:07:20,950
I'd like to get cracking on you.
139
00:07:20,974 --> 00:07:23,887
Well, I never!
140
00:07:23,911 --> 00:07:25,855
I can believe that.
141
00:07:25,879 --> 00:07:28,012
Oh, oh!
142
00:07:35,288 --> 00:07:36,566
Fred, those sound like
143
00:07:36,590 --> 00:07:38,200
reasonable complaints to me.
144
00:07:38,224 --> 00:07:39,602
Listen, honey,
145
00:07:39,626 --> 00:07:41,905
now don't be concerned
with little things like that.
146
00:07:41,929 --> 00:07:44,841
Now, by the way,
how is your thing?
147
00:07:44,865 --> 00:07:45,842
What thing?
148
00:07:45,866 --> 00:07:48,266
You know, the thing you married.
149
00:07:50,303 --> 00:07:52,048
His name is Rodney,
and he's my husband.
150
00:07:52,072 --> 00:07:53,983
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah,
your husband thing.
151
00:07:54,007 --> 00:07:54,984
How is he?
152
00:07:55,008 --> 00:07:56,486
He's fine.
153
00:07:56,510 --> 00:07:58,350
Is he still white?
Oh, Frederick!
154
00:08:09,790 --> 00:08:10,967
Hello, Aunt Frances.
155
00:08:10,991 --> 00:08:12,401
Hello, sweetheart.
156
00:08:12,425 --> 00:08:15,426
♪ La-di-di, di-lah-di-dum
It's dummy ♪♪
157
00:08:17,364 --> 00:08:19,375
Hey, Pop, you know, I
just picked up a piano
158
00:08:19,399 --> 00:08:21,711
for $20 down at
Jimmy's Bar and Grill.
159
00:08:21,735 --> 00:08:23,045
Twenty bucks.
Hey, that's all right.
160
00:08:23,069 --> 00:08:24,246
Good, look.
161
00:08:24,270 --> 00:08:26,449
I want you to help
me get it off the truck.
162
00:08:26,473 --> 00:08:28,250
Uh, not now, son. May the 1st.
163
00:08:28,274 --> 00:08:29,586
Why May 1st?
164
00:08:29,610 --> 00:08:32,811
May 1st, that's opening
day of the hernia festival.
165
00:08:34,681 --> 00:08:36,860
Why don't you stop?
166
00:08:36,884 --> 00:08:38,227
How's Rodney doing
anyway, Aunt Frances?
167
00:08:38,251 --> 00:08:39,496
Oh, not so well.
168
00:08:39,520 --> 00:08:42,098
It must be tough for a
performer to be out of work, huh?
169
00:08:42,122 --> 00:08:45,001
It is, but he loves
being in show business.
170
00:08:45,025 --> 00:08:47,492
Well, he'd better not show
his business around here.
171
00:08:51,532 --> 00:08:54,978
Oh, Lamont, let me get
you a cold glass of milk.
172
00:08:55,002 --> 00:08:56,445
Now, wait a minute, Frances.
173
00:08:56,469 --> 00:08:57,780
Now, if my son's exhausted,
174
00:08:57,804 --> 00:09:00,149
if he wants something,
I get it for him.
175
00:09:00,173 --> 00:09:01,150
FRANCES: Okay.
176
00:09:01,174 --> 00:09:02,214
Oh, gee, thanks, Pop.
177
00:09:07,614 --> 00:09:08,925
I'll get it.
178
00:09:08,949 --> 00:09:10,793
No, it's okay.
I'll get it myself.
179
00:09:10,817 --> 00:09:12,896
Hey, I'll get it,
whatever it is.
180
00:09:12,920 --> 00:09:14,964
You've got it, whatever it is.
181
00:09:14,988 --> 00:09:16,198
My brother-in-law!
182
00:09:16,222 --> 00:09:17,534
Don't come round to me.
183
00:09:17,558 --> 00:09:19,969
Just let me... Just let me go.
184
00:09:19,993 --> 00:09:21,660
Get off of me.
185
00:09:26,567 --> 00:09:27,544
How are you doing, Rodney?
186
00:09:27,568 --> 00:09:28,545
How do you feel?
187
00:09:28,569 --> 00:09:29,712
I feel great.
188
00:09:29,736 --> 00:09:33,516
Hey, hey, I feel like a
tongue sandwich to go.
189
00:09:33,540 --> 00:09:35,117
Ask me how I want it to go.
190
00:09:35,141 --> 00:09:36,407
How do you want it to go?
191
00:09:42,415 --> 00:09:43,893
Hey, Frances, you know what?
192
00:09:43,917 --> 00:09:45,094
Huh?
193
00:09:45,118 --> 00:09:49,398
You married Baskin and
Robbins' newest flavor...
194
00:09:49,422 --> 00:09:51,300
tutti nut.
195
00:09:51,324 --> 00:09:53,369
That's funny.
That's funny, Fred.
196
00:09:53,393 --> 00:09:55,572
Hey, what do you want
me to do with this luggage?
197
00:09:55,596 --> 00:09:57,106
What luggage?
198
00:09:57,130 --> 00:09:58,908
The luggage here.
Didn't Frances tell you?
199
00:09:58,932 --> 00:10:01,678
Oh, I was leading
up to it, Fred. I was.
200
00:10:01,702 --> 00:10:03,179
Leading up to what?
201
00:10:03,203 --> 00:10:05,181
Well, today was my last check
at the unemployment office,
202
00:10:05,205 --> 00:10:06,382
and we're out of money,
203
00:10:06,406 --> 00:10:08,785
so we have to move out
at the end of the week,
204
00:10:08,809 --> 00:10:10,386
so we're gonna
move in with you, Fred,
205
00:10:10,410 --> 00:10:11,454
until something comes up.
206
00:10:11,478 --> 00:10:14,023
Well, you know you're in luck.
207
00:10:14,047 --> 00:10:15,024
RODNEY: Really?
208
00:10:15,048 --> 00:10:16,492
Yeah, something's coming up.
209
00:10:16,516 --> 00:10:18,695
Uh, bend over,
and I'll show you.
210
00:10:18,719 --> 00:10:19,696
No, wait.
211
00:10:19,720 --> 00:10:21,698
Wait a minute!
212
00:10:21,722 --> 00:10:22,699
[GRUMBLING]
213
00:10:22,723 --> 00:10:24,133
Fred!
214
00:10:24,157 --> 00:10:25,735
Is that how you treat a brother?
215
00:10:25,759 --> 00:10:27,639
A half-brother. Whoa!
216
00:10:37,337 --> 00:10:38,881
Hi, Aunt Frances.
217
00:10:38,905 --> 00:10:39,882
Hi.
218
00:10:39,906 --> 00:10:40,883
Hey, Pop.
219
00:10:40,907 --> 00:10:43,086
Hey, son. Did we fix the stove?
220
00:10:43,110 --> 00:10:46,055
Yes, we fixed the stove.
221
00:10:46,079 --> 00:10:47,456
It's amazing how I get so dirty,
222
00:10:47,480 --> 00:10:51,527
you stay clean, and
"we" fix everything thing.
223
00:10:51,551 --> 00:10:53,029
Hey, did Rodney get back yet?
224
00:10:53,053 --> 00:10:55,698
I want him to help me
get that piano off the truck.
225
00:10:55,722 --> 00:10:57,233
No, dear, he's not.
226
00:10:57,257 --> 00:10:59,268
Do you know where
he is? I have no idea.
227
00:10:59,292 --> 00:11:01,771
He's probably somewhere
where he's needed,
228
00:11:01,795 --> 00:11:04,195
the El Segundo
Institute of the Strange.
229
00:11:06,232 --> 00:11:09,112
Fred, stop it. He's my husband.
230
00:11:09,136 --> 00:11:10,880
That's the only reason
why he's moving around
231
00:11:10,904 --> 00:11:12,671
without pall bearers.
232
00:11:15,776 --> 00:11:17,687
Will you please
consider the idea?
233
00:11:17,711 --> 00:11:18,711
Yes.
234
00:11:22,849 --> 00:11:28,064
That's it, and the
answer is still no.
235
00:11:28,088 --> 00:11:29,398
Now, what's your
idea, Aunt Frances?
236
00:11:29,422 --> 00:11:30,399
I don't wanna hear it.
237
00:11:30,423 --> 00:11:31,634
Well, don't listen.
238
00:11:31,658 --> 00:11:33,435
Go ahead, I wanna hear it.
239
00:11:33,459 --> 00:11:37,640
Rodney happens to
be a decent handyman,
240
00:11:37,664 --> 00:11:39,642
so I would like to
suggest that you give us
241
00:11:39,666 --> 00:11:40,943
the basement apartment
242
00:11:40,967 --> 00:11:43,746
and make Rodney the
manager of the Sanford Arms.
243
00:11:43,770 --> 00:11:44,747
Mm-hmm.
244
00:11:44,771 --> 00:11:46,448
Do what? Give you the basement?
245
00:11:46,472 --> 00:11:47,650
That place is worth a fortune.
246
00:11:47,674 --> 00:11:50,219
Hey, Pop, that sounds
like a good idea to me.
247
00:11:50,243 --> 00:11:52,403
When I want your
opinion, I'll give it to you.
248
00:11:54,147 --> 00:11:55,124
Fred, please.
249
00:11:55,148 --> 00:11:56,425
[HUMMING]
250
00:11:56,449 --> 00:11:57,626
Rodney needs it.
251
00:11:57,650 --> 00:12:00,930
I mean, he needs to
regain his self-respect,
252
00:12:00,954 --> 00:12:02,131
and if it came from you...
253
00:12:02,155 --> 00:12:04,466
I mean, if you asked
him or begged him...
254
00:12:04,490 --> 00:12:05,568
Begged?
255
00:12:05,592 --> 00:12:07,937
Yes, pleaded with him.
It would make him feel...
256
00:12:07,961 --> 00:12:09,305
Pleaded?
257
00:12:09,329 --> 00:12:11,708
Yes, it would make him
feel that you needed his help,
258
00:12:11,732 --> 00:12:14,643
and it would help him
to feel like a man again.
259
00:12:14,667 --> 00:12:17,279
Please, Fred.
260
00:12:17,303 --> 00:12:18,414
Do it for me.
261
00:12:18,438 --> 00:12:19,648
Listen, just stop
crying, will you,
262
00:12:19,672 --> 00:12:20,883
for crying out loud?
263
00:12:20,907 --> 00:12:22,085
Hey, come on, Pop.
264
00:12:22,109 --> 00:12:24,153
Why don't you be a
little understanding, man?
265
00:12:24,177 --> 00:12:25,822
I am being understanding.
266
00:12:25,846 --> 00:12:27,590
I always be that way
267
00:12:27,614 --> 00:12:30,492
just before I get ready
to plead and need...
268
00:12:30,516 --> 00:12:32,561
Oh, thank you, Fred. And beg.
269
00:12:32,585 --> 00:12:34,719
I don't want that
stuff on my face.
270
00:12:36,589 --> 00:12:37,767
Well, I guess I'll go upstairs
271
00:12:37,791 --> 00:12:39,902
and wash up for
the work that "we did"
272
00:12:39,926 --> 00:12:42,004
on Mrs. Hopkins' stove.
273
00:12:42,028 --> 00:12:44,373
Hi.
274
00:12:44,397 --> 00:12:45,574
Okay, Rodney.
275
00:12:45,598 --> 00:12:46,743
Yes?
276
00:12:46,767 --> 00:12:49,612
Uh, I'd like to beg
something of you.
277
00:12:49,636 --> 00:12:51,214
What is it?
278
00:12:51,238 --> 00:12:54,751
Well, from a
pleading point of view,
279
00:12:54,775 --> 00:12:56,418
I mean, needing-wise,
280
00:12:56,442 --> 00:13:00,056
how would you like to be
the manager of Sanford Arms
281
00:13:00,080 --> 00:13:02,458
and live there for nothing free?
282
00:13:02,482 --> 00:13:04,093
Too far. Huh?
283
00:13:04,117 --> 00:13:06,629
Oh, you've gone
too far this time, Fred.
284
00:13:06,653 --> 00:13:08,731
Sure, you want your
sister to live in that dungeon
285
00:13:08,755 --> 00:13:10,599
and do all your dirty work.
286
00:13:10,623 --> 00:13:12,334
Probably for free, right?
287
00:13:12,358 --> 00:13:15,404
Well, foul, foul, foul!
288
00:13:15,428 --> 00:13:17,974
Foul, foul, foul.
289
00:13:17,998 --> 00:13:19,275
I'll show you foul.
290
00:13:19,299 --> 00:13:21,539
How'd you like me to shove
a chicken up your nose?
291
00:13:30,777 --> 00:13:32,755
Rodney, I don't
think Fred is trying
292
00:13:32,779 --> 00:13:34,290
to take advantage of us,
293
00:13:34,314 --> 00:13:35,958
and we could use the apartment,
294
00:13:35,982 --> 00:13:36,959
and it's free.
295
00:13:36,983 --> 00:13:38,227
Free? Yeah.
296
00:13:38,251 --> 00:13:40,462
Free? When did I ever
want anything free before?
297
00:13:40,486 --> 00:13:42,265
How much are you
paying to live here now?
298
00:13:42,289 --> 00:13:43,532
Nothing.
299
00:13:43,556 --> 00:13:45,201
I wouldn't insult you
by offering you money
300
00:13:45,225 --> 00:13:46,635
for a place where
your sister lives
301
00:13:46,659 --> 00:13:47,804
that belongs to her brother.
302
00:13:47,828 --> 00:13:49,005
I have class.
303
00:13:49,029 --> 00:13:52,441
Well, meet me
outside after class.
304
00:13:52,465 --> 00:13:54,510
Say, you know, Rodney,
305
00:13:54,534 --> 00:13:55,878
the apartment at
the Sanford Arms
306
00:13:55,902 --> 00:13:57,146
is not exactly free, man.
307
00:13:57,170 --> 00:13:59,015
You'd be paying for it
by managing the place.
308
00:13:59,039 --> 00:14:01,083
Thank you, but you see,
309
00:14:01,107 --> 00:14:03,585
I'm not a building
manager, Lamont.
310
00:14:03,609 --> 00:14:05,021
I'm an impresario.
311
00:14:05,045 --> 00:14:06,744
An im-pro-who-rio?
312
00:14:08,414 --> 00:14:10,793
I'm an impresario.
313
00:14:10,817 --> 00:14:12,461
I'll have you know
314
00:14:12,485 --> 00:14:14,063
that I just booked
myself and my show
315
00:14:14,087 --> 00:14:15,698
in that little movie
house around the corner,
316
00:14:15,722 --> 00:14:17,533
the one that's showing
the Tyrone Power...
317
00:14:17,557 --> 00:14:18,968
Oh, I think it's about the geek.
318
00:14:18,992 --> 00:14:20,970
Well, they've gone
back to a policy
319
00:14:20,994 --> 00:14:22,805
of presenting vaudeville,
320
00:14:22,829 --> 00:14:27,009
and I just booked myself and
my show for a $100 a week.
321
00:14:27,033 --> 00:14:29,078
Hey, Rodney, that's great, man.
322
00:14:29,102 --> 00:14:30,880
Well, you know, it was
just a one-week trial,
323
00:14:30,904 --> 00:14:32,481
but the manager
said if he likes me,
324
00:14:32,505 --> 00:14:33,950
he'll hire me as
the steady emcee,
325
00:14:33,974 --> 00:14:34,951
and then I won't need
326
00:14:34,975 --> 00:14:36,719
your apartment
next door for free
327
00:14:36,743 --> 00:14:38,120
and your room here for free.
328
00:14:38,144 --> 00:14:39,222
So in other words,
329
00:14:39,246 --> 00:14:42,191
if the show is a
hit, you'll move out?
330
00:14:42,215 --> 00:14:43,192
That's right.
331
00:14:43,216 --> 00:14:44,193
Who you got?
332
00:14:44,217 --> 00:14:45,928
Well, I come out
and open the show
333
00:14:45,952 --> 00:14:48,887
with some real
socko jokes... [SIGHS]
334
00:14:52,192 --> 00:14:54,503
And then I know
this little old lady,
335
00:14:54,527 --> 00:14:55,704
and she comes out
336
00:14:55,728 --> 00:14:59,041
and does great dramatic
readings from Shakespeare...
337
00:14:59,065 --> 00:15:00,977
And listen to the finale.
338
00:15:01,001 --> 00:15:03,079
For the finale,
339
00:15:03,103 --> 00:15:05,681
I have this great opera singer,
340
00:15:05,705 --> 00:15:10,953
and he sings an excerpt
from The Chocolate Soldier.
341
00:15:10,977 --> 00:15:13,990
I can see the two of you now,
342
00:15:14,014 --> 00:15:17,848
the chocolate soldier
and the vanilla Twinkie.
343
00:15:20,287 --> 00:15:21,819
[NO AUDIBLE DIALOGUE]
344
00:15:26,626 --> 00:15:28,137
You got a better idea?
345
00:15:28,161 --> 00:15:29,872
Yes, I got a better idea.
346
00:15:29,896 --> 00:15:31,740
See, now, I know the
people in this neighborhood,
347
00:15:31,764 --> 00:15:33,142
and I know what they want.
348
00:15:33,166 --> 00:15:34,543
Now, if the show is a hit,
349
00:15:34,567 --> 00:15:36,645
you said that you'll move
out of here tomorrow,
350
00:15:36,669 --> 00:15:38,247
and then Frances
will stop talking to me
351
00:15:38,271 --> 00:15:40,249
about you managing over
there at the Sanford Arms, right?
352
00:15:40,273 --> 00:15:42,484
That's right, and
you've got my word.
353
00:15:42,508 --> 00:15:43,920
Your word? That's right.
354
00:15:43,944 --> 00:15:46,322
A man's word is
good enough for me.
355
00:15:46,346 --> 00:15:47,990
I've always said that.
356
00:15:48,014 --> 00:15:50,359
A man's word is his bond.
357
00:15:50,383 --> 00:15:51,394
Oh, yeah.
358
00:15:51,418 --> 00:15:52,618
Sign this here. Right here.
359
00:15:54,587 --> 00:15:55,719
[DRUM ROLL]
360
00:16:03,396 --> 00:16:05,975
Good evening,
ladies and gentlemen.
361
00:16:05,999 --> 00:16:07,977
Tonight, instead of the
Tyrone Power movie...
362
00:16:08,001 --> 00:16:09,111
Where's the geek?
363
00:16:09,135 --> 00:16:11,347
What geek? There's
no geek tonight.
364
00:16:11,371 --> 00:16:12,503
[AUDIENCE BOOS]
365
00:16:13,639 --> 00:16:15,151
Oh, man, as I was saying,
366
00:16:15,175 --> 00:16:17,553
tonight, we're
starting our new policy
367
00:16:17,577 --> 00:16:19,188
of bringing live
performers and vaudeville
368
00:16:19,212 --> 00:16:21,890
back to our stage,
and to start things off,
369
00:16:21,914 --> 00:16:23,259
here is your master
of ceremonies
370
00:16:23,283 --> 00:16:24,427
for the night.
371
00:16:24,451 --> 00:16:26,495
Let's hear it with a
big round of applause
372
00:16:26,519 --> 00:16:28,397
for the fabulous Rodney Victor.
373
00:16:28,421 --> 00:16:29,854
[SPARSE APPLAUSE, BAND PLAYS]
374
00:16:35,161 --> 00:16:36,638
Thank you very much
and good evening,
375
00:16:36,662 --> 00:16:37,673
ladies and gentlemen.
376
00:16:37,697 --> 00:16:39,430
Good evening, geek.
377
00:16:40,933 --> 00:16:42,044
Geek? Knock it off.
378
00:16:42,068 --> 00:16:43,879
Let's show a little
respect in here,
379
00:16:43,903 --> 00:16:45,147
or I'll throw you out.
380
00:16:45,171 --> 00:16:47,149
He's a human being,
the same as you and me.
381
00:16:47,173 --> 00:16:48,453
Go ahead, honky.
382
00:16:53,013 --> 00:16:54,156
Thank you very much,
383
00:16:54,180 --> 00:16:57,326
but I don't mind
insults from the public...
384
00:16:57,350 --> 00:17:00,262
[PIANO PLAYS]
385
00:17:00,286 --> 00:17:02,198
Because the public is
what America's all about.
386
00:17:02,222 --> 00:17:03,199
Boo.
387
00:17:03,223 --> 00:17:04,200
[PIANO PLAYING STOPS]
388
00:17:04,224 --> 00:17:05,834
[AUDIENCE BOOING]
389
00:17:05,858 --> 00:17:07,103
Speaking of America,
390
00:17:07,127 --> 00:17:08,904
I was reading about America
in the newspapers today.
391
00:17:08,928 --> 00:17:10,339
Hey, listen to this.
392
00:17:10,363 --> 00:17:13,498
MAN: Cut to the death
notices and read us your name.
393
00:17:19,305 --> 00:17:21,017
That's good.
394
00:17:21,041 --> 00:17:22,518
That's funny.
395
00:17:22,542 --> 00:17:24,220
Isn't that wonderful,
ladies and gentlemen,
396
00:17:24,244 --> 00:17:27,123
speaking out freely like that?
397
00:17:27,147 --> 00:17:28,124
[PIANO PLAYS AGAIN]
398
00:17:28,148 --> 00:17:29,780
Because that's America...
399
00:17:31,684 --> 00:17:34,096
And America is the
people in the next act
400
00:17:34,120 --> 00:17:36,365
that I'm about to
introduce to you.
401
00:17:36,389 --> 00:17:37,766
Ladies and gentlemen,
402
00:17:37,790 --> 00:17:39,502
the wonderful and the exciting
403
00:17:39,526 --> 00:17:41,937
Fred G. Sanford
and Smiley Rogers,
404
00:17:41,961 --> 00:17:45,741
better known as
Sanford and Song.
405
00:17:45,765 --> 00:17:46,864
[AUDIENCE APPLAUDS]
406
00:17:53,339 --> 00:17:58,354
[PERFORMING
"LULU'S BACK IN TOWN"]
407
00:17:58,378 --> 00:18:00,656
♪ Gotta get My old
tuxedo pressed ♪
408
00:18:00,680 --> 00:18:02,958
♪ Gotta sew a
button On my vest ♪
409
00:18:02,982 --> 00:18:05,127
♪ Tonight I've got
To look my best ♪
410
00:18:05,151 --> 00:18:07,329
♪ Lulu's back in town ♪
411
00:18:07,353 --> 00:18:09,932
♪ Gotta get a half a
buck Somewhere ♪
412
00:18:09,956 --> 00:18:11,733
♪ Shine my shoes Slick my hair ♪
413
00:18:11,757 --> 00:18:14,470
♪ Gotta get myself
A boutonniere ♪
414
00:18:14,494 --> 00:18:16,272
♪ Lulu's back in town ♪
415
00:18:16,296 --> 00:18:18,674
♪ You can tell all my pets ♪
416
00:18:18,698 --> 00:18:20,142
♪ And all my Harlem coquettes ♪
417
00:18:20,166 --> 00:18:21,510
♪ Uh-huh ♪
418
00:18:21,534 --> 00:18:25,281
♪ Mr. Otis regrets That
he won't be around ♪
419
00:18:25,305 --> 00:18:27,383
♪ You can tell the
mailman Not to call ♪
420
00:18:27,407 --> 00:18:30,052
♪ I ain't coming
home Until the fall ♪
421
00:18:30,076 --> 00:18:32,288
♪ I might not get
back Home at all ♪
422
00:18:32,312 --> 00:18:33,789
♪ Lulu's back in town ♪
423
00:18:33,813 --> 00:18:36,525
♪ La-da-da-da-uh-ha-ha ♪
424
00:18:36,549 --> 00:18:39,117
♪ La-da-da-da-uh-ha-ha ♪
425
00:18:42,489 --> 00:18:47,358
♪ La-da-da-da-uh-ha-ha ♪
426
00:18:50,597 --> 00:18:53,309
♪ You can tell all my pets ♪
427
00:18:53,333 --> 00:18:54,310
♪ Uh-huh ♪
428
00:18:54,334 --> 00:18:56,378
♪ And all my Harlem coquettes ♪
429
00:18:56,402 --> 00:18:58,981
♪ Mr. Otis regrets That
he won't be around ♪
430
00:18:59,005 --> 00:19:00,549
Change key.
431
00:19:00,573 --> 00:19:02,951
♪ You can tell the
mailman Not to call ♪
432
00:19:02,975 --> 00:19:04,753
♪ I ain't coming
home Until the fall ♪
433
00:19:04,777 --> 00:19:07,156
♪ Yeah, and I might not
get Back home at all ♪
434
00:19:07,180 --> 00:19:09,024
♪ Lulu's back in town ♪
435
00:19:09,048 --> 00:19:11,393
♪ She came back, she came back ♪
436
00:19:11,417 --> 00:19:13,596
♪ Looking good Like she should ♪
437
00:19:13,620 --> 00:19:16,031
♪ She brought a 5'5"
Good Grace, alive ♪
438
00:19:16,055 --> 00:19:18,267
♪ A little bit here
And a little bit there ♪
439
00:19:18,291 --> 00:19:20,669
♪ Here a bit, there a bit
Everywhere a little bit ♪
440
00:19:20,693 --> 00:19:25,407
♪ Lulu is back in town ♪
441
00:19:25,431 --> 00:19:27,543
♪ Yeah ♪
442
00:19:27,567 --> 00:19:29,267
♪ Oh, yeah ♪♪
443
00:19:30,970 --> 00:19:32,448
[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]
444
00:19:32,472 --> 00:19:33,837
[BAND PLAYING]
445
00:19:43,483 --> 00:19:44,560
[BAND STOPS PLAYING]
446
00:19:44,584 --> 00:19:46,629
Thank you very much,
Sanford and Song.
447
00:19:46,653 --> 00:19:48,230
And now we'd like
to move right along,
448
00:19:48,254 --> 00:19:49,231
ladies and gentlemen,
449
00:19:49,255 --> 00:19:50,633
and I'd like to have you meet
450
00:19:50,657 --> 00:19:53,569
my one and only wonderful
nephew in the whole wide world.
451
00:19:53,593 --> 00:19:54,970
I'm sure you've
heard of him before,
452
00:19:54,994 --> 00:19:56,905
tops in taps.
453
00:19:56,929 --> 00:20:00,631
Here he is, Lamont
Sanford from the junk place.
454
00:20:03,769 --> 00:20:04,769
[BAND PLAYING]
455
00:20:21,153 --> 00:20:22,720
[SHOES TAPPING]
456
00:22:25,010 --> 00:22:27,478
[AUDIENCE WHISTLES]
457
00:22:46,766 --> 00:22:47,898
[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]
458
00:23:01,781 --> 00:23:02,847
[NO AUDIBLE DIALOGUE]
459
00:23:18,531 --> 00:23:20,776
I just helped Aunt Frances
move into her new apartment.
460
00:23:20,800 --> 00:23:22,077
That's good, son. Yeah.
461
00:23:22,101 --> 00:23:24,546
Hey, listen to this ad for
the basement apartment.
462
00:23:24,570 --> 00:23:25,547
Hey wait a minute, Pop.
463
00:23:25,571 --> 00:23:27,683
That apartment
is in no condition
464
00:23:27,707 --> 00:23:28,751
to be rented out.
465
00:23:28,775 --> 00:23:30,352
The pipes need fixing.
466
00:23:30,376 --> 00:23:31,553
Oh, you crazy?
467
00:23:31,577 --> 00:23:32,988
There ain't nothing
wrong with them pipes.
468
00:23:33,012 --> 00:23:34,590
All we need is
a tenant in there,
469
00:23:34,614 --> 00:23:37,214
because the mortgage payment
is due day after tomorrow.
470
00:23:40,085 --> 00:23:41,296
Hello?
471
00:23:41,320 --> 00:23:42,964
Herald Examiner?
472
00:23:42,988 --> 00:23:44,388
Let me speak to Herald.
473
00:23:48,594 --> 00:23:50,539
Hello, Herald?
474
00:23:50,563 --> 00:23:51,840
You remember me, don't you?
475
00:23:51,864 --> 00:23:53,742
That's right, Fred G. Sanford.
476
00:23:53,766 --> 00:23:56,978
Look, Herald, I got an ad
I want to put in the paper,
477
00:23:57,002 --> 00:23:58,447
and get it right
this time, hear?
478
00:23:58,471 --> 00:23:59,782
Now here it is:
479
00:23:59,806 --> 00:24:04,185
For rent, luxurious
two-room suite,
480
00:24:04,209 --> 00:24:07,890
private entrance,
wall to wall floors,
481
00:24:07,914 --> 00:24:10,859
drapes, carpeting,
and refrigerator...
482
00:24:10,883 --> 00:24:12,961
Mr... Mr. Sanford, for
heaven's sakes, come quickly.
483
00:24:12,985 --> 00:24:14,696
The pipes have burst.
The basement's flooded.
484
00:24:14,720 --> 00:24:19,568
And a swimming
pool... and a sunken tub
485
00:24:19,592 --> 00:24:21,837
and fresh fish every day.
486
00:24:21,861 --> 00:24:23,327
Yeah.
487
00:24:24,430 --> 00:24:26,408
[NO AUDIBLE DIALOGUE]
488
00:24:26,432 --> 00:24:28,298
And the roof's gonna be flooded.
489
00:24:34,139 --> 00:24:36,206
[♪♪♪]
31648
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
