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1
00:00:02,703 --> 00:00:04,569
[♪♪♪]
2
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Hello. Herald Examiner?
3
00:01:10,538 --> 00:01:11,836
Let me speak to "Herald."
4
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Hello, "Herald."
5
00:01:15,676 --> 00:01:17,987
Listen, this is Fred G. Sanford,
6
00:01:18,011 --> 00:01:20,157
and I'm opening
up a rooming house
7
00:01:20,181 --> 00:01:21,891
next door to my junkyard,
8
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and I want to
put an ad in there.
9
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Yeah, here it is.
10
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Uh, got... you ready?
11
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"Come and stay in the
luxurious Sanford Arms,
12
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"the ultimate in high
rise and low living.
13
00:01:37,465 --> 00:01:39,076
"Exotic plumbing.
14
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"No children, no pets, puppies,
guppies, or winos allowed.
15
00:01:44,671 --> 00:01:48,618
"Only the most refined and
suave clientele need apply.
16
00:01:48,642 --> 00:01:53,123
Special rates for
topless dancers."
17
00:01:53,147 --> 00:01:55,825
Yes, I said topless dancers.
18
00:01:55,849 --> 00:01:59,362
"Call or apply in person,
9114 South Central,
19
00:01:59,386 --> 00:02:02,732
one of Los Angeles'
most desirable addresses."
20
00:02:02,756 --> 00:02:03,733
You got that?
21
00:02:03,757 --> 00:02:04,734
Thanks, "Herald."
22
00:02:04,758 --> 00:02:05,758
Bye.
23
00:02:12,266 --> 00:02:14,299
Hi, son.
24
00:02:18,705 --> 00:02:19,882
Hi, Pop.
25
00:02:19,906 --> 00:02:22,319
Hi, son. You back
from Tijuana already?
26
00:02:22,343 --> 00:02:23,520
Already? I was gone two days.
27
00:02:23,544 --> 00:02:24,754
Wait till you see
28
00:02:24,778 --> 00:02:27,157
the tables and the chairs
and all the good stuff I got
29
00:02:27,181 --> 00:02:28,191
for the Sanford Arms.
30
00:02:28,215 --> 00:02:30,127
Hey, tell me all
about our new tenants.
31
00:02:30,151 --> 00:02:32,028
Well, son, they're
so nice and quiet,
32
00:02:32,052 --> 00:02:33,263
you'd hardly know
they were there.
33
00:02:33,287 --> 00:02:34,498
That's great, Pop.
34
00:02:34,522 --> 00:02:37,800
That's because
they're not there.
35
00:02:37,824 --> 00:02:39,202
I ain't rented a room all day.
36
00:02:39,226 --> 00:02:40,903
No tenants?
37
00:02:40,927 --> 00:02:41,938
None.
38
00:02:41,962 --> 00:02:44,107
Pop, we borrowed
$1800 from the bank, man,
39
00:02:44,131 --> 00:02:46,576
and we done spent most
of it fixing Julio's place up.
40
00:02:46,600 --> 00:02:51,281
Yeah, $300 worth
of chili stain remover
41
00:02:51,305 --> 00:02:53,950
and $19.98 for a pair of
them pointy-toed shoes.
42
00:02:53,974 --> 00:02:57,320
What did you need a pair
of pointy-toed shoes for?
43
00:02:57,344 --> 00:02:59,464
To kill all them
cockroaches in the corner.
44
00:03:04,318 --> 00:03:06,596
Pop, we've got to make
a loan payment tomorrow,
45
00:03:06,620 --> 00:03:09,199
and we can't do that unless
we've got tenants paying rent.
46
00:03:09,223 --> 00:03:11,901
Now, didn't you
interview anybody?
47
00:03:11,925 --> 00:03:14,337
I interviewed an old couple,
but they sort of got offended.
48
00:03:14,361 --> 00:03:15,772
Why?
49
00:03:15,796 --> 00:03:18,408
They said they wanted to
live in a building with security,
50
00:03:18,432 --> 00:03:20,899
and I told them to
go suck on a blanket.
51
00:03:24,538 --> 00:03:26,516
That's just great,
Pop. That's great.
52
00:03:26,540 --> 00:03:28,652
Hey, but look,
son. Look at this.
53
00:03:28,676 --> 00:03:29,919
See, I put this ad in...
54
00:03:29,943 --> 00:03:31,388
See, I wrote this ad up here
55
00:03:31,412 --> 00:03:32,589
and phoned it into
the newspaper.
56
00:03:32,613 --> 00:03:34,824
Topless dancers?
57
00:03:34,848 --> 00:03:37,160
Yeah, and this is just
the beginning, son.
58
00:03:37,184 --> 00:03:38,662
From Sanford Arms, we...
59
00:03:38,686 --> 00:03:42,666
It's just a step away from where
we own our own huge hotel.
60
00:03:42,690 --> 00:03:46,069
That's me... Howard Huge.
61
00:03:46,093 --> 00:03:48,205
Pop, we're not even
going to be living here
62
00:03:48,229 --> 00:03:50,039
if we don't make that
loan payment tomorrow.
63
00:03:50,063 --> 00:03:53,276
Listen, son, don't worry.
The banks are our friends.
64
00:03:53,300 --> 00:03:54,844
They want us and like us.
65
00:03:54,868 --> 00:03:57,647
They want to see America
move forward and do good.
66
00:03:57,671 --> 00:03:59,015
And another thing...
67
00:03:59,039 --> 00:04:00,817
you've heard that commercial
on TV where is says...
68
00:04:00,841 --> 00:04:02,841
[DEEP VOICE] "We're
building America"?
69
00:04:07,715 --> 00:04:09,226
Would you be serious?
70
00:04:09,250 --> 00:04:10,793
If we don't fill
those rooms, man,
71
00:04:10,817 --> 00:04:12,462
we're going to
be out of a house.
72
00:04:12,486 --> 00:04:13,785
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
73
00:04:24,197 --> 00:04:27,377
Ah, speaking of outhouses...
74
00:04:27,401 --> 00:04:29,779
Forget him, Aunt Esther.
75
00:04:29,803 --> 00:04:31,281
What can we do for you?
76
00:04:31,305 --> 00:04:32,682
You can do a lot, Lamont.
77
00:04:32,706 --> 00:04:34,784
In fact, you both can
make a big donation
78
00:04:34,808 --> 00:04:36,386
to charity.
79
00:04:36,410 --> 00:04:40,879
Oh, you want us to donate
you to Multiple Uglyosis?
80
00:04:45,686 --> 00:04:46,851
Watch it, sucker.
81
00:04:50,758 --> 00:04:53,002
Lamont, our church
is being repainted.
82
00:04:53,026 --> 00:04:54,704
Yeah, I know. I know.
83
00:04:54,728 --> 00:04:56,640
And I thought you'd be happy
84
00:04:56,664 --> 00:04:58,975
to donate one of the rooms
in your boarding house
85
00:04:58,999 --> 00:05:01,378
as a meeting place
for my congregation.
86
00:05:01,402 --> 00:05:02,512
You mean for free?
87
00:05:02,536 --> 00:05:03,613
Of course.
88
00:05:03,637 --> 00:05:05,515
After all, charity
begins at home.
89
00:05:05,539 --> 00:05:09,552
But not in the home
where the buffalo roam.
90
00:05:09,576 --> 00:05:12,822
Get out, bison.
91
00:05:12,846 --> 00:05:14,457
Why don't you go somewhere
92
00:05:14,481 --> 00:05:16,848
and celebrate the bison-tennial?
93
00:05:18,185 --> 00:05:19,429
Don't pay him no attention.
94
00:05:19,453 --> 00:05:21,831
Come on into the kitchen
and put on a pot of coffee,
95
00:05:21,855 --> 00:05:23,232
and I'll talk to you about it.
96
00:05:23,256 --> 00:05:24,233
All right. Good idea.
97
00:05:24,257 --> 00:05:25,835
Take her into the kitchen.
98
00:05:25,859 --> 00:05:29,138
Maybe them flies will
follow you all in there.
99
00:05:29,162 --> 00:05:30,295
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
100
00:05:34,401 --> 00:05:35,378
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
101
00:05:35,402 --> 00:05:36,482
[INCOHERENT GRUMBLING]
102
00:05:38,605 --> 00:05:39,582
Hello.
103
00:05:39,606 --> 00:05:40,817
Hello.
104
00:05:40,841 --> 00:05:42,352
Are you Mr. Sanford?
105
00:05:42,376 --> 00:05:44,754
Mm, yes.
106
00:05:44,778 --> 00:05:47,590
Mr. Sanford,
107
00:05:47,614 --> 00:05:50,493
are the rooms next
door still available?
108
00:05:50,517 --> 00:05:53,896
Yes, they are, and I am too.
109
00:05:53,920 --> 00:05:54,897
Come right in.
110
00:05:54,921 --> 00:05:55,921
Thank you.
111
00:06:07,234 --> 00:06:08,211
You're kind of sweet.
112
00:06:08,235 --> 00:06:09,212
Yes.
113
00:06:09,236 --> 00:06:10,613
Now, exactly how
much is the room?
114
00:06:10,637 --> 00:06:13,115
The room's $80 a
month in advance,
115
00:06:13,139 --> 00:06:14,584
but in your case,
116
00:06:14,608 --> 00:06:16,185
I'm willing to extend
you a little credit.
117
00:06:16,209 --> 00:06:18,421
We'll just spread
your month's rent
118
00:06:18,445 --> 00:06:21,157
over the next 15 years.
119
00:06:21,181 --> 00:06:24,361
Thanks, but I always
like to deal in cash.
120
00:06:24,385 --> 00:06:25,428
Mm.
121
00:06:25,452 --> 00:06:29,532
Now, $160 should cover
two months in advance.
122
00:06:29,556 --> 00:06:31,501
Yeah, let me hold that.
123
00:06:31,525 --> 00:06:32,502
It's all there.
124
00:06:32,526 --> 00:06:33,703
You don't have to count it.
125
00:06:33,727 --> 00:06:34,971
I don't want to count it,
126
00:06:34,995 --> 00:06:39,141
I just want to hold
it next to my cheeks.
127
00:06:39,165 --> 00:06:41,811
Well, now, Mr. Sanford. Uh-huh?
128
00:06:41,835 --> 00:06:43,680
After I move in,
129
00:06:43,704 --> 00:06:46,683
I hope that you and I can come
to some little understanding.
130
00:06:46,707 --> 00:06:47,784
Yeah...
131
00:06:47,808 --> 00:06:51,454
See, I understand,
and you understand,
132
00:06:51,478 --> 00:06:53,990
and when we understand,
your rent gets cheaper.
133
00:06:54,014 --> 00:06:55,847
You understand?
134
00:07:04,658 --> 00:07:06,903
Hold on, Fred Sanford.
135
00:07:06,927 --> 00:07:08,104
What is this?
136
00:07:08,128 --> 00:07:09,672
Uh, excuse me, honey.
137
00:07:09,696 --> 00:07:11,207
Uh, this is my son, Lamont,
138
00:07:11,231 --> 00:07:14,265
and... this is our plumber.
139
00:07:17,871 --> 00:07:19,181
The plumber?
140
00:07:19,205 --> 00:07:20,283
Yeah.
141
00:07:20,307 --> 00:07:21,317
You can see
142
00:07:21,341 --> 00:07:23,661
that all her pipes
backed up into her face.
143
00:07:25,278 --> 00:07:28,357
Why, Fred Sanford,
you... Wait a minute.
144
00:07:28,381 --> 00:07:29,358
Huh?
145
00:07:29,382 --> 00:07:32,629
Wait a minute!
146
00:07:32,653 --> 00:07:35,698
I know this woman.
Ooh, I know this woman.
147
00:07:35,722 --> 00:07:37,300
Lamont... Huh?
148
00:07:37,324 --> 00:07:38,535
Our church has been trying
149
00:07:38,559 --> 00:07:40,136
to run this woman out
of our neighborhood
150
00:07:40,160 --> 00:07:41,638
for months.
151
00:07:41,662 --> 00:07:44,206
Well, that's too bad, because
I just rented her a room.
152
00:07:44,230 --> 00:07:46,375
Don't you know that
this is a fallen woman?
153
00:07:46,399 --> 00:07:49,312
Well, I'm trying
to break her fall.
154
00:07:49,336 --> 00:07:51,280
Fred Sanford,
155
00:07:51,304 --> 00:07:53,716
if that woman moves
in, I'm calling the police.
156
00:07:53,740 --> 00:07:54,751
FRED: Huh?
157
00:07:54,775 --> 00:07:56,152
Well, I think I'd
better be going.
158
00:07:56,176 --> 00:07:57,153
It was nice knowing you.
159
00:07:57,177 --> 00:08:01,524
Wait a... Hold on,
sister. Wait a minute.
160
00:08:01,548 --> 00:08:03,793
Don't you move another feather.
161
00:08:03,817 --> 00:08:05,495
I'm taking you to Reverend Ike
162
00:08:05,519 --> 00:08:07,630
while's there's still
time to save your soul.
163
00:08:07,654 --> 00:08:08,631
Hallelujah.
164
00:08:08,655 --> 00:08:10,232
Wait a minute, now.
165
00:08:10,256 --> 00:08:15,059
Now, you can save her
soul, but save the rest for me.
166
00:08:17,030 --> 00:08:18,475
Heathen!
167
00:08:18,499 --> 00:08:19,499
Come on, sister!
168
00:08:28,475 --> 00:08:29,853
Well, now look what
you've done, man.
169
00:08:29,877 --> 00:08:31,253
Look what time it is now, Pop,
170
00:08:31,277 --> 00:08:32,655
and we still haven't
rented a room.
171
00:08:32,679 --> 00:08:34,056
Don't worry. I'll
take care of it.
172
00:08:34,080 --> 00:08:35,091
You don't seem to realize
173
00:08:35,115 --> 00:08:36,693
if we don't come
up with that money
174
00:08:36,717 --> 00:08:37,961
by tomorrow,
175
00:08:37,985 --> 00:08:39,161
we are going to lose everything.
176
00:08:39,185 --> 00:08:41,831
Don't worry. The
bank will let us slide.
177
00:08:41,855 --> 00:08:44,467
Oh, yeah, sure.
Banks do it all the time.
178
00:08:44,491 --> 00:08:47,470
"Hello there. I'm speaking
for the Bank of America
179
00:08:47,494 --> 00:08:50,640
and I'm just here to tell
you that we let things slide."
180
00:08:50,664 --> 00:08:52,942
Just relax, will you?
181
00:08:52,966 --> 00:08:54,243
How am I supposed to relax...
182
00:08:54,267 --> 00:08:55,411
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
183
00:08:55,435 --> 00:08:56,412
I'll get it.
184
00:08:56,436 --> 00:08:57,716
Yeah, get it.
185
00:09:00,106 --> 00:09:02,418
Mr. Sanford? Hello,
and how are you?
186
00:09:02,442 --> 00:09:03,920
My name is Percy G. Hopweather.
187
00:09:03,944 --> 00:09:06,756
I'm the Assistant Loan Officer
at Central Trust and Savings.
188
00:09:06,780 --> 00:09:09,559
Just thought I'd drop by and
say "Hello, and how are you?"
189
00:09:09,583 --> 00:09:12,161
All of us at C, T and S
are just pleased as punch
190
00:09:12,185 --> 00:09:14,363
that you and your father have
joined our Executive Loan Club.
191
00:09:14,387 --> 00:09:15,498
Good, I...
192
00:09:15,522 --> 00:09:16,799
And remember,
we're your friends.
193
00:09:16,823 --> 00:09:18,234
If you have any problem at all,
194
00:09:18,258 --> 00:09:19,969
don't hesitate to
give us a buzz.
195
00:09:19,993 --> 00:09:22,438
Bzzz...
196
00:09:22,462 --> 00:09:24,841
We're here to see that
you start off on the right foot.
197
00:09:24,865 --> 00:09:27,677
Bzzz... We care. Bzzz...
198
00:09:27,701 --> 00:09:29,679
We help... Bzzz...
We sympathize.
199
00:09:29,703 --> 00:09:30,680
We are broke.
200
00:09:30,704 --> 00:09:31,704
We foreclose.
201
00:09:34,407 --> 00:09:36,419
Well, I'll just buzz off now.
202
00:09:36,443 --> 00:09:37,720
And remember, fellows,
203
00:09:37,744 --> 00:09:39,756
try to think of our bank
with warmth and affection,
204
00:09:39,780 --> 00:09:41,624
sort of like we're
the fairy godmother
205
00:09:41,648 --> 00:09:42,625
in Cinderella.
206
00:09:42,649 --> 00:09:44,027
Why?
207
00:09:44,051 --> 00:09:46,029
Because if you don't
pay up by 3:00 tomorrow,
208
00:09:46,053 --> 00:09:48,898
we'll turn your house
into a debtors' prison.
209
00:09:48,922 --> 00:09:51,133
Ah, a little financial funny.
210
00:09:51,157 --> 00:09:53,436
Yeah, that was
funny, Mr. Hopweather.
211
00:09:53,460 --> 00:09:55,137
Listen, I'd like to
make a small deposit.
212
00:09:55,161 --> 00:09:56,673
Oh, good. How much?
213
00:09:56,697 --> 00:09:58,575
How about me putting
five in your mouth?
214
00:09:58,599 --> 00:10:00,409
Oh, wonderful.
Fine... very good...
215
00:10:00,433 --> 00:10:02,579
Jim Dandy. Perfect.
Thank you very much.
216
00:10:02,603 --> 00:10:04,069
See you tomorrow.
Have a good day.
217
00:10:16,917 --> 00:10:19,161
There you go, son. Look at that.
218
00:10:19,185 --> 00:10:20,229
That'll do it, Pop.
219
00:10:20,253 --> 00:10:22,231
I want to take it over
to the Sanford Arms
220
00:10:22,255 --> 00:10:23,399
and stay over there
221
00:10:23,423 --> 00:10:25,201
in case any, you know,
possible tenants come over.
222
00:10:25,225 --> 00:10:26,202
Right, and I'll stay here
223
00:10:26,226 --> 00:10:27,804
in case anybody
calls me on the phone
224
00:10:27,828 --> 00:10:29,405
from that ad I put in the paper.
225
00:10:29,429 --> 00:10:31,407
Just remember, Pop, we've
got until the bank closes today
226
00:10:31,431 --> 00:10:32,675
to get those rooms filled.
227
00:10:32,699 --> 00:10:34,077
Don't worry. We'll
get the rooms filled.
228
00:10:34,101 --> 00:10:36,479
Have I ever let you
down? Don't answer that.
229
00:10:36,503 --> 00:10:37,480
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
230
00:10:37,504 --> 00:10:39,649
I'll answer that.
231
00:10:39,673 --> 00:10:43,352
Need a pair of skates to
keep walking across here...
232
00:10:43,376 --> 00:10:44,887
Hello?
233
00:10:44,911 --> 00:10:47,389
Yes... Yes, this is
the landlord speaking,
234
00:10:47,413 --> 00:10:48,925
Fred G. Sanford.
235
00:10:48,949 --> 00:10:52,361
What? Do you need references?
236
00:10:52,385 --> 00:10:54,864
Uh, if you've been
acquainted with $80,
237
00:10:54,888 --> 00:10:57,399
come on over.
238
00:10:57,423 --> 00:10:58,501
All right.
239
00:10:58,525 --> 00:10:59,802
Now we're getting somewhere.
240
00:10:59,826 --> 00:11:01,425
[BRAKES SQUEAL]
241
00:11:03,396 --> 00:11:06,275
[KNOCK AT DOOR]
242
00:11:06,299 --> 00:11:09,746
We may be getting
somewhere... Get a pair of skates...
243
00:11:09,770 --> 00:11:11,770
Hey, hey. What's
happening, Daddy-o?
244
00:11:17,343 --> 00:11:18,343
[KNOCKING]
245
00:11:21,381 --> 00:11:22,491
What...
246
00:11:22,515 --> 00:11:24,093
Listen, mister, you must
have the wrong address.
247
00:11:24,117 --> 00:11:25,294
The freak-out is at the park.
248
00:11:25,318 --> 00:11:26,763
No, no, hold on.
249
00:11:26,787 --> 00:11:29,165
Now, ain't you the guy
that put this ad in the paper
250
00:11:29,189 --> 00:11:30,199
about some groovy pads?
251
00:11:30,223 --> 00:11:31,233
What?
252
00:11:31,257 --> 00:11:32,635
"Rooms to rent," huh?
253
00:11:32,659 --> 00:11:33,970
Oh... oh yeah.
254
00:11:33,994 --> 00:11:36,139
Uh, how would you like
a nice garden apartment?
255
00:11:36,163 --> 00:11:37,439
Oh, yeah.
256
00:11:37,463 --> 00:11:39,575
Well, go out there and
sleep in the crab grass.
257
00:11:39,599 --> 00:11:40,810
Oh, man, lay off.
258
00:11:40,834 --> 00:11:42,011
Now, you're talking to a drummer
259
00:11:42,035 --> 00:11:43,412
with one of the best rock groups
260
00:11:43,436 --> 00:11:44,413
in the country.
261
00:11:44,437 --> 00:11:45,437
Dig this.
262
00:11:46,439 --> 00:11:48,350
Wait a minute, man.
263
00:11:48,374 --> 00:11:49,518
[DRUMSTICKS TAPPING]
264
00:11:49,542 --> 00:11:51,054
Yeah!
265
00:11:51,078 --> 00:11:53,189
[SARCASTIC LAUGH]
266
00:11:53,213 --> 00:11:55,693
You should have been here when
I was killing them cockroaches.
267
00:11:57,417 --> 00:11:58,627
Look, man, lay off, huh?
268
00:11:58,651 --> 00:12:00,229
The group's got
a gig in this town,
269
00:12:00,253 --> 00:12:01,630
and I need a place to crash.
270
00:12:01,654 --> 00:12:03,766
Try the freeway.
271
00:12:03,790 --> 00:12:08,337
Dad, why don't you
and I plant ourselves,
272
00:12:08,361 --> 00:12:11,974
right, and then
you can rap to me...
273
00:12:11,998 --> 00:12:13,309
about the pad.
274
00:12:13,333 --> 00:12:16,045
Dig it?
275
00:12:16,069 --> 00:12:21,751
I... don't understand...
anything you said.
276
00:12:21,775 --> 00:12:23,552
Now, butt out.
277
00:12:23,576 --> 00:12:24,653
All right.
278
00:12:24,677 --> 00:12:25,855
Here's two months'
rent in advance.
279
00:12:25,879 --> 00:12:27,590
Butt in.
280
00:12:27,614 --> 00:12:29,192
Listen, you go ahead
and see my son.
281
00:12:29,216 --> 00:12:30,193
He'll take care of you.
282
00:12:30,217 --> 00:12:31,194
All right. Far out.
283
00:12:31,218 --> 00:12:32,195
You're beautiful, man.
284
00:12:32,219 --> 00:12:33,295
Later, huh?
285
00:12:33,319 --> 00:12:34,897
Yeah. The later the better.
286
00:12:34,921 --> 00:12:36,165
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
287
00:12:36,189 --> 00:12:38,500
[MUMBLING] I'm
going to have to get me
288
00:12:38,524 --> 00:12:40,737
one of them skateboards...
289
00:12:40,761 --> 00:12:42,939
If I'm going to keep
running this place.
290
00:12:42,963 --> 00:12:46,308
Hello. Watts Holiday Inn.
291
00:12:46,332 --> 00:12:48,077
Yes.
292
00:12:48,101 --> 00:12:53,182
For the best in the bed,
come sleep with Fred.
293
00:12:53,206 --> 00:12:54,683
Waterbeds?
294
00:12:54,707 --> 00:12:56,886
No, we don't have waterbeds,
but you can come over here.
295
00:12:56,910 --> 00:12:59,188
We've got a nice sink. Bye.
296
00:12:59,212 --> 00:13:00,456
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
297
00:13:00,480 --> 00:13:03,092
Oh, my goodness gracious.
298
00:13:03,116 --> 00:13:05,061
Maybe I shouldn't
open up this room now.
299
00:13:05,085 --> 00:13:06,963
I'm to go deaf in here.
300
00:13:06,987 --> 00:13:09,132
Excuse me, are
you Fred G. Sanford?
301
00:13:09,156 --> 00:13:10,332
Are you looking for a room?
302
00:13:10,356 --> 00:13:11,400
Yes, I am.
303
00:13:11,424 --> 00:13:12,668
Yes, I'm him. Come in.
304
00:13:12,692 --> 00:13:14,470
Say, this is a
fine-looking place
305
00:13:14,494 --> 00:13:16,505
you have here, Mr. Sanford.
306
00:13:16,529 --> 00:13:18,307
Yeah, it was on the
cover of a magazine,
307
00:13:18,331 --> 00:13:19,611
Home and Garbage.
308
00:13:20,433 --> 00:13:22,945
Hey, listen, Mr... Hutton.
309
00:13:22,969 --> 00:13:24,680
G.F. Hutton,
310
00:13:24,704 --> 00:13:27,872
and when Hutton
speaks, everybody listens.
311
00:13:30,376 --> 00:13:33,389
Well, listen, Hutton,
312
00:13:33,413 --> 00:13:34,590
come on in the kitchen.
313
00:13:34,614 --> 00:13:36,192
I'll fix you some
sweet roll and coffee.
314
00:13:36,216 --> 00:13:37,960
That'd be real nice.
Wipe your feet there
315
00:13:37,984 --> 00:13:40,104
before you bring that
stuff into the kitchen.
316
00:13:41,721 --> 00:13:43,332
Come on in and
make yourself to home.
317
00:13:43,356 --> 00:13:44,667
You can sit down over there.
318
00:13:44,691 --> 00:13:46,002
Uh, thank you, Mr. Sanford.
319
00:13:46,026 --> 00:13:48,437
Got some good hot
coffee on the stove...
320
00:13:48,461 --> 00:13:49,894
[HUMMING]
321
00:13:51,664 --> 00:13:52,775
Here you go.
322
00:13:52,799 --> 00:13:54,977
Say, um, how much are
you asking for a room?
323
00:13:55,001 --> 00:13:56,913
Oh, the rooms are free.
324
00:13:56,937 --> 00:13:58,937
The sweet rolls and
the coffee is $80.
325
00:14:00,773 --> 00:14:02,084
Now, that's funny, you know?
326
00:14:02,108 --> 00:14:03,986
I love a man with
a sense of humor.
327
00:14:04,010 --> 00:14:06,022
You know, I haven't
seen you around here.
328
00:14:06,046 --> 00:14:07,323
Are you from around here?
329
00:14:07,347 --> 00:14:08,791
Yes, I am,
330
00:14:08,815 --> 00:14:11,828
but for the last several years,
I've been incommunicado.
331
00:14:11,852 --> 00:14:13,395
No kidding. That's funny.
332
00:14:13,419 --> 00:14:15,019
My son was just in Tijuan-o.
333
00:14:19,059 --> 00:14:21,503
You know, Hutton,
I live by instinct,
334
00:14:21,527 --> 00:14:24,307
and my instinct tells
me that you all right.
335
00:14:24,331 --> 00:14:26,342
Uh, if you want the
room, you can have it.
336
00:14:26,366 --> 00:14:27,710
Oh, thanks, Fred... Yeah.
337
00:14:27,734 --> 00:14:29,879
But I gotta play it
straight with you.
338
00:14:29,903 --> 00:14:31,881
I'm an ex-con, and
I just got out of jail.
339
00:14:31,905 --> 00:14:33,983
Well, I'm gonna play it
straight with you, Hutton.
340
00:14:34,007 --> 00:14:36,919
I'm your ex-landlord,
and get out of my house.
341
00:14:36,943 --> 00:14:38,787
Please, Mr. Sanford,
342
00:14:38,811 --> 00:14:40,723
my career as a thief is over.
343
00:14:40,747 --> 00:14:43,525
Your career as a tenant is over.
344
00:14:43,549 --> 00:14:45,694
Please, give me a
chance. I'm reformed.
345
00:14:45,718 --> 00:14:47,330
I'm orthodox. Out.
346
00:14:47,354 --> 00:14:49,598
All right, I'm going. I'm going.
347
00:14:49,622 --> 00:14:50,599
Wait a minute, Hutton.
348
00:14:50,623 --> 00:14:51,600
Yes?
349
00:14:51,624 --> 00:14:53,202
My cup runneth away.
350
00:14:53,226 --> 00:14:54,392
Oh, sorry.
351
00:14:57,397 --> 00:14:59,175
You'd think after 30
years in the big house,
352
00:14:59,199 --> 00:15:00,376
people would have
changed a little.
353
00:15:00,400 --> 00:15:01,443
Wait a minute.
354
00:15:01,467 --> 00:15:03,512
You've been in big
house for 30 years?
355
00:15:03,536 --> 00:15:04,613
You must've did something awful.
356
00:15:04,637 --> 00:15:05,614
Oh, not really.
357
00:15:05,638 --> 00:15:06,782
Just petty theft.
358
00:15:06,806 --> 00:15:08,517
My original sentence
was six months,
359
00:15:08,541 --> 00:15:11,442
but you see, I had
this ugly sister-in-law.
360
00:15:14,781 --> 00:15:15,791
Ugly sister-in-law?
361
00:15:15,815 --> 00:15:17,393
She used to come
up every visiting day
362
00:15:17,417 --> 00:15:18,827
and bug me.
363
00:15:18,851 --> 00:15:19,828
Real ugly.
364
00:15:19,852 --> 00:15:21,986
Looked like a buffalo.
365
00:15:23,556 --> 00:15:25,636
Come sit down here, Hutton.
366
00:15:29,229 --> 00:15:31,173
Now, tell me all about it.
367
00:15:31,197 --> 00:15:33,575
Well, here we are,
Mr. and Mrs. Lawrence.
368
00:15:33,599 --> 00:15:34,843
It's a nice apartment.
369
00:15:34,867 --> 00:15:36,445
It's a perfect thing
for a newlywed couple
370
00:15:36,469 --> 00:15:37,446
like yourself.
371
00:15:37,470 --> 00:15:38,447
[CRYING]
372
00:15:38,471 --> 00:15:39,471
Oh, Roger!
373
00:15:43,209 --> 00:15:46,355
Excuse me, was
it something I said?
374
00:15:46,379 --> 00:15:49,558
Oh, no, Mr. Sanford.
Janet's just happy,
375
00:15:49,582 --> 00:15:51,928
and she always cries
when she's happy.
376
00:15:51,952 --> 00:15:56,698
Oh, our first little love nest.
377
00:15:56,722 --> 00:15:58,700
Mm. Mm.
378
00:15:58,724 --> 00:16:01,025
Oh, hey, hey.
379
00:16:02,462 --> 00:16:03,605
Excuse me.
380
00:16:03,629 --> 00:16:05,474
I'm sorry, Mr. Sanford.
Janet's just...
381
00:16:05,498 --> 00:16:07,910
I know, she's happy.
382
00:16:07,934 --> 00:16:11,880
Excuse me, Mr. Sanford.
May I use the bathroom?
383
00:16:11,904 --> 00:16:13,482
Oh, sure. It's right
through that door.
384
00:16:13,506 --> 00:16:14,750
Thank you.
385
00:16:14,774 --> 00:16:16,518
Say, look, listen,
386
00:16:16,542 --> 00:16:17,719
if she doesn't
like the bathroom,
387
00:16:17,743 --> 00:16:18,720
I can change it.
388
00:16:18,744 --> 00:16:19,755
Change it? Why?
389
00:16:19,779 --> 00:16:21,157
See, while I was
away, my father...
390
00:16:21,181 --> 00:16:23,159
I let my father work
on one of the rooms,
391
00:16:23,183 --> 00:16:24,961
and that's the room
he wanted to work on.
392
00:16:24,985 --> 00:16:26,362
Okay. Excuse me.
393
00:16:26,386 --> 00:16:28,353
Roger, do you have a dime?
394
00:16:39,899 --> 00:16:41,477
I-I can get it fixed.
395
00:16:41,501 --> 00:16:42,678
Should we take it?
396
00:16:42,702 --> 00:16:45,047
Oh, yes, Roger. I like it.
397
00:16:45,071 --> 00:16:46,449
Okay.
398
00:16:46,473 --> 00:16:49,418
Mr. Sanford, here's
$80 in advance.
399
00:16:49,442 --> 00:16:50,619
Oh, great.
400
00:16:50,643 --> 00:16:51,820
Listen, you're not
making a mistake.
401
00:16:51,844 --> 00:16:53,222
You're gonna be
very, very, very, very...
402
00:16:53,246 --> 00:16:55,224
[CRYING]
403
00:16:55,248 --> 00:16:57,115
Happy.
404
00:17:02,889 --> 00:17:05,134
Pop! Hey, Pop.
405
00:17:05,158 --> 00:17:06,402
Yeah, son.
406
00:17:06,426 --> 00:17:07,736
Hey, how are you doing?
407
00:17:07,760 --> 00:17:09,238
Great, man. I just
rented another room.
408
00:17:09,262 --> 00:17:10,406
Oh, good.
409
00:17:10,430 --> 00:17:12,008
Yeah, but listen, we're
still $50 short, man,
410
00:17:12,032 --> 00:17:13,809
so we gonna have
to rent that last room.
411
00:17:13,833 --> 00:17:14,810
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
412
00:17:14,834 --> 00:17:15,811
I'll get it.
413
00:17:15,835 --> 00:17:17,115
Yeah, get it.
414
00:17:19,372 --> 00:17:20,372
Oh...
415
00:17:24,444 --> 00:17:27,623
Ah... Mr. Sanford, Lamont,
416
00:17:27,647 --> 00:17:31,160
buenos días,
bonjour, buon giorno.
417
00:17:31,184 --> 00:17:35,231
Or as they say to
me in Watts, uh...
418
00:17:35,255 --> 00:17:37,415
You know, nobody says
anything to me in Watts.
419
00:17:38,391 --> 00:17:39,968
Uh, what's on your mind, Hoppy,
420
00:17:39,992 --> 00:17:41,570
because my father
and I are real busy.
421
00:17:41,594 --> 00:17:42,571
Oh, right.
422
00:17:42,595 --> 00:17:44,173
Then I will get
straight to the point,
423
00:17:44,197 --> 00:17:45,174
right down to the nifty-grifty.
424
00:17:45,198 --> 00:17:46,175
Nitty-gritty.
425
00:17:46,199 --> 00:17:47,176
Oh, right, nitty-gritty.
426
00:17:47,200 --> 00:17:48,544
I understand
427
00:17:48,568 --> 00:17:50,746
you still have a room available
over in the Sanford Arms,
428
00:17:50,770 --> 00:17:51,947
and I'd like to rent it.
429
00:17:51,971 --> 00:17:54,283
Why would you want
to live over there?
430
00:17:54,307 --> 00:17:56,985
Oh, it's not for me.
It's for my mother.
431
00:17:57,009 --> 00:17:58,521
Your mother? Your mother?
432
00:17:58,545 --> 00:18:00,722
Yeah, you see, she just
moved out here from the east,
433
00:18:00,746 --> 00:18:02,691
and I thought rather
than a lonely apartment,
434
00:18:02,715 --> 00:18:03,892
she'd rather be in a place
435
00:18:03,916 --> 00:18:06,062
where there's a lot of
other people around.
436
00:18:06,086 --> 00:18:08,431
Look, she's right out
there in the squad car.
437
00:18:08,455 --> 00:18:10,032
Why don't I just go and get her
438
00:18:10,056 --> 00:18:11,033
so you can meet her?
439
00:18:11,057 --> 00:18:12,334
I'll be right back.
440
00:18:12,358 --> 00:18:14,736
Why would he want his
mother to live over there?
441
00:18:14,760 --> 00:18:16,138
Well, probably
because it's on his beat,
442
00:18:16,162 --> 00:18:18,674
and he can stop home
and have milk and cookies.
443
00:18:18,698 --> 00:18:19,830
Uh, uh...
444
00:18:30,710 --> 00:18:33,322
Uh...
445
00:18:33,346 --> 00:18:35,591
Mr. Sanford, Lamont,
this is my mom...
446
00:18:35,615 --> 00:18:38,660
Lamont, Mr. Sanford...
447
00:18:38,684 --> 00:18:42,098
Buenos dias, buon
giorno, bonjour.
448
00:18:42,122 --> 00:18:44,733
HOPPY: Mrs. May Hopkins.
449
00:18:44,757 --> 00:18:47,203
Howard, why aren't
you making out a report?
450
00:18:47,227 --> 00:18:48,670
Report, Mom?
451
00:18:48,694 --> 00:18:51,174
Obviously, this place
has been ransacked.
452
00:18:52,798 --> 00:18:54,810
Mom is a store
detective at Robertson's.
453
00:18:54,834 --> 00:18:55,877
Yes, that is correct.
454
00:18:55,901 --> 00:18:57,413
I am responsible
455
00:18:57,437 --> 00:18:59,748
for the entire
lingerie department.
456
00:18:59,772 --> 00:19:01,049
That's great.
457
00:19:01,073 --> 00:19:02,251
Yes, and I'm happy to say
458
00:19:02,275 --> 00:19:04,253
that after 30 years of service,
459
00:19:04,277 --> 00:19:07,578
no one has ever ripped
off one of my bras.
460
00:19:10,816 --> 00:19:13,284
I can understand that.
461
00:19:20,560 --> 00:19:23,405
Mom, Mr. Sanford
and Lamont there
462
00:19:23,429 --> 00:19:25,007
are gonna be your new landlords.
463
00:19:25,031 --> 00:19:29,345
Wonderful. Thank you, gentlemen.
464
00:19:29,369 --> 00:19:30,546
I want you to know
465
00:19:30,570 --> 00:19:32,481
how I look forward
to living with you
466
00:19:32,505 --> 00:19:33,882
in this great melting pot,
467
00:19:33,906 --> 00:19:38,587
side by side, arm in
arm, forward together.
468
00:19:38,611 --> 00:19:40,422
Excelsior!
469
00:19:40,446 --> 00:19:42,224
Oh, Mom, that was beautiful.
470
00:19:42,248 --> 00:19:43,225
Well, yes, thank you.
471
00:19:43,249 --> 00:19:44,493
Wasn't that
beautiful, Mr. Sanford,
472
00:19:44,517 --> 00:19:46,028
the way she, uh...
473
00:19:46,052 --> 00:19:49,998
I... Look, I gotta get
back on the beat now.
474
00:19:50,022 --> 00:19:51,534
If it's okay with
you, Mr. Sanford,
475
00:19:51,558 --> 00:19:54,024
here is $80 in advance for Mom.
476
00:19:55,461 --> 00:19:56,905
I'm gonna have to think it over.
477
00:19:56,929 --> 00:19:59,175
Pop, the bank
closes in 20 minutes.
478
00:19:59,199 --> 00:20:01,143
I thought it over.
479
00:20:01,167 --> 00:20:02,511
Oh, marvelous.
480
00:20:02,535 --> 00:20:03,646
Oh, Mom? Oh, no.
481
00:20:03,670 --> 00:20:05,247
Let's go, Mom. All
right. Oh, and uh...
482
00:20:05,271 --> 00:20:08,984
Never forget black is bountiful!
483
00:20:09,008 --> 00:20:10,586
No, no, that's beautiful, Mom.
484
00:20:10,610 --> 00:20:11,587
Right, right. Beautiful.
485
00:20:11,611 --> 00:20:12,621
Right.
486
00:20:12,645 --> 00:20:14,212
HOPPY: Well, uh...
487
00:20:18,017 --> 00:20:18,994
Later off.
488
00:20:19,018 --> 00:20:20,862
No, no, dear, that's "later on."
489
00:20:20,886 --> 00:20:22,030
Oh, right! Later on.
490
00:20:22,054 --> 00:20:23,065
Right!
491
00:20:23,089 --> 00:20:25,409
Mom's right. It was "later on."
492
00:20:30,863 --> 00:20:32,503
The bank! The bank!
493
00:20:41,474 --> 00:20:42,451
I tell you, Pop,
494
00:20:42,475 --> 00:20:44,052
that was the best
meal you ever cooked.
495
00:20:44,076 --> 00:20:45,321
That's because
496
00:20:45,345 --> 00:20:48,023
that's my extra special
celebration dinner.
497
00:20:48,047 --> 00:20:50,959
Now, here's the
"croup de grass."
498
00:20:50,983 --> 00:20:52,828
Hey, man, champagne.
499
00:20:52,852 --> 00:20:54,263
Yeah, and look at that date.
500
00:20:54,287 --> 00:20:55,786
June!
501
00:20:59,859 --> 00:21:01,303
That was a very good month.
502
00:21:01,327 --> 00:21:02,327
Yeah.
503
00:21:03,829 --> 00:21:05,341
Whee!
504
00:21:05,365 --> 00:21:06,742
Okay, first you.
505
00:21:06,766 --> 00:21:07,743
Me first. You know, Pop,
506
00:21:07,767 --> 00:21:09,345
I tell you, man,
it's gonna be great
507
00:21:09,369 --> 00:21:10,546
having that extra
money rolling around
508
00:21:10,570 --> 00:21:11,647
the first of every month.
509
00:21:11,671 --> 00:21:14,483
Yeah, and later on,
we can jack up the rent.
510
00:21:14,507 --> 00:21:16,418
I don't think we
should do that, Pop.
511
00:21:16,442 --> 00:21:17,919
I don't mean really do it.
512
00:21:17,943 --> 00:21:20,423
Just promise them an elevator,
then we'll give them the shaft.
513
00:21:23,283 --> 00:21:25,894
That was the best
idea ever came up with,
514
00:21:25,918 --> 00:21:27,363
fixing up Julio's place.
515
00:21:27,387 --> 00:21:29,765
Now we can just lay
back and count the money.
516
00:21:29,789 --> 00:21:30,766
Yeah.
517
00:21:30,790 --> 00:21:32,468
I'm getting kind of tired, Pop.
518
00:21:32,492 --> 00:21:33,535
I think I'll turn in.
519
00:21:33,559 --> 00:21:34,536
Yeah, well, go ahead, son.
520
00:21:34,560 --> 00:21:35,537
Yep.
521
00:21:35,561 --> 00:21:37,439
Sleep until noon if you want to,
522
00:21:37,463 --> 00:21:38,641
because now
things are different.
523
00:21:38,665 --> 00:21:39,642
You're an independent man.
524
00:21:39,666 --> 00:21:40,842
Yeah.
525
00:21:40,866 --> 00:21:42,645
You're a... You're a homeowner,
526
00:21:42,669 --> 00:21:45,147
and a landowner,
and a hotel owner,
527
00:21:45,171 --> 00:21:46,548
and... You're a
giant. You're a king!
528
00:21:46,572 --> 00:21:47,549
Yeah!
529
00:21:47,573 --> 00:21:48,884
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
530
00:21:48,908 --> 00:21:50,188
Get the door, dummy.
531
00:22:00,386 --> 00:22:02,464
Mr. Sanford, I am here as
the newly elected president
532
00:22:02,488 --> 00:22:03,999
of the Tenants'
Housing Committee.
533
00:22:04,023 --> 00:22:06,802
We are here to register
the following complaints:
534
00:22:06,826 --> 00:22:09,171
the plumbing is stopped
up, the heaters do not work,
535
00:22:09,195 --> 00:22:10,739
the carpets are filthy...
536
00:22:10,763 --> 00:22:12,174
We're all out of
dimes. That's right.
537
00:22:12,198 --> 00:22:15,311
The windows need
washing... [CRYING]
538
00:22:15,335 --> 00:22:16,312
What's wrong with her?
539
00:22:16,336 --> 00:22:17,479
She's just happy.
540
00:22:17,503 --> 00:22:18,681
The oven doors will not open.
541
00:22:18,705 --> 00:22:19,881
You cannot open
the oven doors...
542
00:22:19,905 --> 00:22:21,883
Okay, okay.
543
00:22:21,907 --> 00:22:23,519
Listen, we'll fix
everything. MAY: Splendid.
544
00:22:23,543 --> 00:22:24,787
Oh, by the way, Fred,
545
00:22:24,811 --> 00:22:26,254
I met this wonderful lady,
546
00:22:26,278 --> 00:22:28,123
and since I'm going
to be working at night,
547
00:22:28,147 --> 00:22:29,725
I'm going to let
her and her friends
548
00:22:29,749 --> 00:22:31,193
use my room in the evenings.
549
00:22:31,217 --> 00:22:32,194
For what?
550
00:22:32,218 --> 00:22:33,429
Choir practice!
551
00:22:33,453 --> 00:22:34,430
Choir practice?
552
00:22:34,454 --> 00:22:35,753
That's right, choir practice.
553
00:22:44,597 --> 00:22:46,464
[SINGING AND CLANGING]
554
00:22:49,101 --> 00:22:51,902
[NO AUDIBLE DIALOGUE]
555
00:23:04,384 --> 00:23:06,417
Oh, it's so pretty.
556
00:23:08,320 --> 00:23:10,399
Oh, look at it. [MAY CHUCKLES]
557
00:23:10,423 --> 00:23:13,535
My goodness, it's beautiful,
558
00:23:13,559 --> 00:23:16,338
and it has my name
on the label, "Esther."
559
00:23:16,362 --> 00:23:17,862
"Poly-esther!"
560
00:23:20,332 --> 00:23:23,612
Oh, Mrs. Hopkins,
thank you so much.
561
00:23:23,636 --> 00:23:25,180
I just love it. Oh!
562
00:23:25,204 --> 00:23:27,182
It's nothing at all, my
dear. Happy to do it.
563
00:23:27,206 --> 00:23:29,818
Just a little wedding
present for you, and oh...
564
00:23:29,842 --> 00:23:31,854
Mrs. Anderson, I
have a little something
565
00:23:31,878 --> 00:23:32,855
for you too.
566
00:23:32,879 --> 00:23:34,556
Oh, thank you, sweetheart.
567
00:23:34,580 --> 00:23:35,557
You're so nice.
568
00:23:35,581 --> 00:23:37,158
Oh, well, it's the
least I could do
569
00:23:37,182 --> 00:23:38,794
to repay you for
the time you've spent
570
00:23:38,818 --> 00:23:41,397
teaching me the customs
of the ghetto, the language,
571
00:23:41,421 --> 00:23:43,164
the talk of the
people on the streets.
572
00:23:43,188 --> 00:23:44,165
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
573
00:23:44,189 --> 00:23:46,490
That kind of thing... Come in.
574
00:23:48,227 --> 00:23:50,071
Listen, I just want
to remind you ladies
575
00:23:50,095 --> 00:23:51,440
that tomorrow is rent day,
576
00:23:51,464 --> 00:23:53,108
and I want my money in my hand
577
00:23:53,132 --> 00:23:54,743
no later than 8 a.m.
578
00:23:54,767 --> 00:23:56,044
You got that...
579
00:23:56,068 --> 00:23:57,979
And listen, you
get her out of here.
580
00:23:58,003 --> 00:23:59,415
I told you what the rules were.
581
00:23:59,439 --> 00:24:01,283
No animals allowed!
582
00:24:01,307 --> 00:24:05,421
Why, Fr... Please,
Mrs. Anderson. If I may?
583
00:24:05,445 --> 00:24:06,911
Be my guest.
584
00:24:09,782 --> 00:24:11,126
Watch it, sucker!
585
00:24:11,150 --> 00:24:12,150
How was that?
586
00:24:15,955 --> 00:24:17,633
Whoo-hoo!
587
00:24:17,657 --> 00:24:19,902
[NO AUDIBLE DIALOGUE]
588
00:24:19,926 --> 00:24:23,160
[♪♪♪]
37677
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