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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:46,980 --> 00:00:48,515 Man: 3, 2, 1. 2 00:00:48,515 --> 00:00:51,051 [ LISA LOEB'S "3, 2, 1, LET GO" PLAYS ] 3 00:00:56,490 --> 00:00:59,626 ♪ 3, 2, 1, LET GO ♪ 4 00:00:59,626 --> 00:01:03,030 ♪ SOMEWHERE DEEP INSIDE, I KNOW YOU HIT MY LOVE ♪ 5 00:01:03,030 --> 00:01:06,667 ♪ I CAN'T FIND THE FINGERPRINTS, YOU WERE WEARING GLOVES ♪ 6 00:01:06,667 --> 00:01:09,636 ♪ IT'S NOT AMONG THE THINGS YOU STUCK UP ON THE SHELF ♪ 7 00:01:09,636 --> 00:01:14,141 ♪ DID YOU HIDE IT IN THE CLOSET TO KEEP FOR SOMEONE ELSE? ♪ 8 00:01:14,141 --> 00:01:17,411 ♪ CAN YOU FEEL? ♪ 9 00:01:17,411 --> 00:01:21,214 ♪ CAN YOU FEEL? ♪ 10 00:01:21,214 --> 00:01:24,551 ♪ OUR LOVE IS SHINING LIKE THE SUN ♪ 11 00:01:24,551 --> 00:01:26,420 ♪ YOU'LL ALWAYS BE THE ONE ♪ 12 00:01:26,420 --> 00:01:28,989 ♪ I'LL NEVER LET YOU GO, DEAR ♪ 13 00:01:28,989 --> 00:01:31,592 ♪ OUR LOVE IS WRITTEN IN THE STARS ♪ 14 00:01:31,592 --> 00:01:34,328 ♪ I'LL NEVER BE FAR AWAY ♪ 15 00:01:34,328 --> 00:01:36,296 ♪ NEVER LET GO ♪ 16 00:01:36,296 --> 00:01:39,499 Maggie: WELL, I'M JUST PAYING ATTENTION TO YOU. I AM NOT HOVERING. 17 00:01:39,499 --> 00:01:41,001 Lloyd: OKAY. 18 00:01:41,001 --> 00:01:42,269 YOU'RE ALWAYS GONNA BE MY BABY. 19 00:01:42,269 --> 00:01:44,171 LET'S GO. I'M NOT READY. 20 00:01:44,171 --> 00:01:47,040 H-HOW CAN YOU NOT BE READY? I'M NOT READY YET. 21 00:01:47,040 --> 00:01:50,010 ♪ TAKE ME AS I AM 'CAUSE YOU GOT ME EITHER WAY ♪ 22 00:01:50,010 --> 00:01:53,413 ♪ I DON'T WANT TO BE THE BROKEN ONE YOU PUT UP ON DISPLAY ♪ 23 00:01:53,413 --> 00:01:55,983 ♪ ALL THE SCARS BENEATH YOUR SLEEVES ♪ 24 00:01:55,983 --> 00:01:57,618 ♪ WHERE YOU WEAR YOUR HEART OUT ♪ 25 00:01:57,618 --> 00:01:58,986 ♪ LET IT SHOW ♪ 26 00:01:58,986 --> 00:02:00,754 ♪ LET IT GO ♪ 27 00:02:00,754 --> 00:02:04,658 ♪ OUR LOVE IS SHINING LIKE A SUN ♪ 28 00:02:04,658 --> 00:02:06,460 ♪ YOU'LL ALWAYS BE THE ONE ♪ 29 00:02:06,460 --> 00:02:09,029 ♪ I'LL NEVER LET YOU GO, DEAR ♪ 30 00:02:09,029 --> 00:02:11,665 ♪ OUR LOVE IS WRITTEN IN THE STARS ♪ 31 00:02:11,665 --> 00:02:14,434 ♪ I'LL NEVER BE FAR AWAY ♪ 32 00:02:14,434 --> 00:02:17,037 ♪ NEVER LET GO ♪ 33 00:02:23,577 --> 00:02:26,980 ♪ LET GO, LET GO, LET GO ♪ 34 00:02:26,980 --> 00:02:30,751 ♪ LET GO, LET GO, LET GO ♪ 35 00:02:30,751 --> 00:02:34,621 ♪ LET GO, LET GO, LET GO ♪ 36 00:02:34,621 --> 00:02:37,424 ♪ OUR LOVE IS SHINING LIKE THE SUN ♪ 37 00:02:37,424 --> 00:02:39,326 ♪ YOU'VE ALWAYS BEEN THE ONE ♪ 38 00:02:39,326 --> 00:02:41,728 ♪ I'LL NEVER LET YOU GO, DEAR ♪ 39 00:02:41,728 --> 00:02:44,631 ♪ OUR LOVE IS WRITTEN IN THE STARS ♪ 40 00:02:44,631 --> 00:02:47,634 ♪ I'LL NEVER BE FAR AWAY ♪ 41 00:02:47,634 --> 00:02:49,202 ♪ NEVER LET GO ♪ 42 00:02:49,202 --> 00:02:52,139 ♪ OUR LOVE IS SHINING LIKE THE SUN ♪ 43 00:02:52,139 --> 00:02:54,041 ♪ YOU'VE ALWAYS BEEN THE ONE ♪ 44 00:02:54,041 --> 00:02:56,343 ♪ I'LL NEVER LET YOU GO, DEAR ♪ 45 00:02:56,343 --> 00:02:59,746 ♪ OUR LOVE IS WRITTEN IN THE STARS ♪ 46 00:02:59,746 --> 00:03:05,519 ♪ I'LL NEVER BE FAR AWAY, NEVER LET GO ♪ 47 00:03:05,519 --> 00:03:08,188 ♪ NEVER LET GO ♪ 48 00:03:08,188 --> 00:03:09,456 [ LAUGHS ] 49 00:03:09,456 --> 00:03:10,991 ♪ NEVER LET GO ♪ 50 00:03:10,991 --> 00:03:12,225 H-HOVER? YOU THINK I HOVER? 51 00:03:12,225 --> 00:03:14,261 YOU'VE ALWAYS BEEN, LIKE, HOVERING OVER ME. 52 00:03:14,261 --> 00:03:17,497 ♪ 3, 2, 1, LET GO ♪ 53 00:03:17,497 --> 00:03:19,666 [ HELICOPTER BLADES WHIRRING ] 54 00:03:19,666 --> 00:03:22,069 Maggie: [ Echoing ] LLOYD. 55 00:03:22,069 --> 00:03:23,737 [ Singsong voice ] LLOYD. 56 00:03:23,737 --> 00:03:25,972 LLOYD, LLOYD, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 57 00:03:25,972 --> 00:03:27,240 WHAT ARE YOU THINKING? 58 00:03:27,240 --> 00:03:28,975 DO YOU LOVE YOUR MOMMY? DID YOU WEAR YOUR SEAT BELT? 59 00:03:28,975 --> 00:03:30,410 [ OVERLAPPING VOICES ] 60 00:03:30,410 --> 00:03:32,279 [ TIRES SCREECH ] 61 00:03:32,279 --> 00:03:33,246 ARE WE HERE? 62 00:03:33,246 --> 00:03:34,514 YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH. 63 00:03:34,514 --> 00:03:36,216 HANG ON, HANG ON. 64 00:03:36,216 --> 00:03:37,984 STAY THERE. I'M COMIN' TO GET YOU! 65 00:03:40,087 --> 00:03:41,388 CAN I TAKE THE BLINDFOLD OFF YET? 66 00:03:41,388 --> 00:03:42,756 NO! GET OUT OF THE CAR! 67 00:03:42,756 --> 00:03:44,624 OKAY, WALK. 68 00:03:44,624 --> 00:03:46,326 THERE'S A CURB THERE. STEP BACK. ALL RIGHT. OH. ALL RIGHT. 69 00:03:46,326 --> 00:03:49,262 AND...AND... 70 00:03:49,262 --> 00:03:51,131 HAPPY BIRTHDAY! 71 00:03:51,131 --> 00:03:52,199 YEAH. 72 00:03:52,199 --> 00:03:53,533 WE'RE GONNA HAVE THE BEST DAY! 73 00:03:53,533 --> 00:03:56,169 COME ON! 74 00:03:56,169 --> 00:03:58,672 LOOK AT THIS! ISN'T THIS THE BEST PLACE ON EARTH? 75 00:03:58,672 --> 00:04:00,273 YEAH, IT'S SOMETHING. 76 00:04:00,273 --> 00:04:02,309 COME ON! OH, TATTOOS! LET'S GET MATCHING TATTOOS. 77 00:04:02,309 --> 00:04:05,112 OH, YES, THAT'S JUST WHAT I'VE ALWAYS WANTED. 78 00:04:05,112 --> 00:04:06,079 REALLY? 79 00:04:06,079 --> 00:04:07,681 NO! NOT REALLY. 80 00:04:10,417 --> 00:04:11,752 HAPPY BIRTHDAY! YEAH. 81 00:04:11,752 --> 00:04:13,186 GOT IT. ALL RIGHT. 82 00:04:17,758 --> 00:04:19,493 LOOK HERE. 83 00:04:19,493 --> 00:04:21,461 YOU'VE TAKEN ENOUGH PICTURES TO FILL A WEDDING ALBUM. 84 00:04:21,461 --> 00:04:23,330 WILL YOU STOP? I HAVE NOT TAKEN NEARLY ENOUGH. 85 00:04:26,166 --> 00:04:27,367 IT SMELLS LIKE A SKU-- IS THERE A SKUNK? 86 00:04:27,367 --> 00:04:29,102 A WHAT? IT SMELLS LIKE A SKUNK. 87 00:04:29,102 --> 00:04:30,137 COME ON. YOU DON'T SMELL THAT? 88 00:04:30,137 --> 00:04:31,404 IT'S JUST WEED. IT'S NOTHING -- 89 00:04:31,404 --> 00:04:33,006 OH, GOD. THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH IT. 90 00:04:38,211 --> 00:04:40,013 WHAT'S LEFT AFTER THIS? 91 00:04:40,013 --> 00:04:42,482 PROM, THEN GRADUATION, AND THEN YOU'RE GONE! 92 00:04:42,482 --> 00:04:44,217 YOU'RE GONE! 93 00:04:44,217 --> 00:04:45,318 AND ALL I'M GONNA HAVE LEFT ARE THESE PHOTOS. 94 00:04:45,318 --> 00:04:46,553 MOM -- 95 00:04:46,553 --> 00:04:48,088 PHOTOS THAT I AM GONNA FLIP THROUGH 96 00:04:48,088 --> 00:04:49,422 IN THAT DARK HOUSE ALONE. 97 00:04:49,422 --> 00:04:51,158 IT'S JUST COLLEGE. I'M GOING TO COLLEGE. 98 00:04:51,158 --> 00:04:53,093 IF I GET IN AND IF I GET A SCHOLARSHIP. 99 00:04:53,093 --> 00:04:55,428 I'M NOT SIGNING UP FOR A TOUR OF DUTY IN THE MIDDLE EAST. 100 00:04:55,428 --> 00:04:57,297 BUT THEN YOU'RE GONNA MEET A NICE GIRL. 101 00:04:57,297 --> 00:04:58,532 DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND? 102 00:04:58,532 --> 00:05:00,333 YOU'RE GONNA GO GET MARRIED IN MINNESOTA. 103 00:05:00,333 --> 00:05:02,068 MOM, I THINK YOU'RE GETTING A LITTLE BIT AHEAD OF YOURSELF. 104 00:05:02,068 --> 00:05:04,104 THEN KIDS! AH, THEN KIDS. 105 00:05:04,104 --> 00:05:06,206 AND THEN YOU'RE NOT GONNA HAVE TIME FOR YOUR MOM. 106 00:05:06,206 --> 00:05:08,308 WELL, IF YOU'RE LUCKY, I'LL TURN OUT TO BE GAY. 107 00:05:14,714 --> 00:05:16,449 WE'RE GONNA TAKE SOME OF THESE. 108 00:05:16,449 --> 00:05:17,450 WHAT ARE WE DOING? 109 00:05:17,450 --> 00:05:18,451 OH, THESE ARE GREAT. 110 00:05:18,451 --> 00:05:20,654 RIGHT? I CAN'T EVEN... 111 00:05:20,654 --> 00:05:21,655 OH, YEAH. 112 00:05:21,655 --> 00:05:23,323 OH, WHAT THE -- PUT THIS ON. 113 00:05:23,323 --> 00:05:24,758 THIS IS NOT -- THIS IS CLEARLY NOT A MAN'S HAT. 114 00:05:24,758 --> 00:05:26,159 THIS IS VERY GOOD, VERY GOOD. 115 00:05:26,159 --> 00:05:27,394 I THINK I LOOK LIKE LADY GAGA RIGHT NOW. 116 00:05:27,394 --> 00:05:29,129 THIS IS ME. THIS IS SO ME. LOOK! 117 00:05:29,129 --> 00:05:30,330 THIS IS -- WHAT'S THIS CALLED, A "SELFIE"? 118 00:05:30,330 --> 00:05:31,598 YEAH. [ CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS ] 119 00:05:31,598 --> 00:05:33,366 AND NOW... NOW WHAT? 120 00:05:33,366 --> 00:05:35,168 ...IT'S TIME TO COME OUT. COME OUT OF -- WHAT? 121 00:05:35,168 --> 00:05:37,537 OOH! OKAY, ALL RIGHT, SORRY. 122 00:05:37,537 --> 00:05:38,972 WHAT ARE YOU, TOO BUSY PLAYING DRESS-UP 123 00:05:38,972 --> 00:05:40,307 TO WATCH WHERE YOU'RE WALKING... 124 00:05:40,307 --> 00:05:41,608 SHEILA? I'M SORRY. IT WAS AN ACCIDENT. 125 00:05:41,608 --> 00:05:43,109 LISTEN, WE WERE JUST KIDDING AROUND. 126 00:05:43,109 --> 00:05:44,110 WE'RE JUST HANGING OUT. IT'S ALL RIGHT. 127 00:05:44,110 --> 00:05:45,345 JUST AN ACCIDENT. SORRY. 128 00:05:45,345 --> 00:05:47,647 AW, DOES YOUR MOMMY FIGHT ALL YOUR BATTLES FOR YA? 129 00:05:47,647 --> 00:05:48,982 [ LAUGHTER ] 130 00:05:48,982 --> 00:05:50,417 [ CHUCKLES ] OKAY. 131 00:05:50,417 --> 00:05:52,219 WHY DON'T YOU JUST LEAVE MY SON ALONE, YOU BIG LOSER? 132 00:05:52,219 --> 00:05:53,987 OKAY. ALL RIGHT, MOM. LET'S GO. LET'S JUST -- 133 00:05:53,987 --> 00:05:55,388 MOM, LET'S -- LET'S GO. HEY, LADY... 134 00:05:55,388 --> 00:05:57,557 GET YOUR FAGGOT SON AND GET OUTTA HERE 135 00:05:57,557 --> 00:05:59,125 BEFORE WE MAKE YOU GET OUTTA HERE. 136 00:05:59,125 --> 00:06:00,293 LET'S -- LET'S DO THAT. LET'S GO. 137 00:06:00,293 --> 00:06:02,362 YOU'RE RIGHT. WE SHOULD JUST GO. 138 00:06:02,362 --> 00:06:03,396 MOM! 139 00:06:07,167 --> 00:06:08,301 [ SCOFFS ] YEAH. HIT A WOMAN. 140 00:06:08,301 --> 00:06:10,103 THAT ALWAYS TURNS OUT WELL. 141 00:06:14,574 --> 00:06:16,309 UH... 142 00:06:18,078 --> 00:06:19,346 EXCUSE ME! 143 00:06:19,346 --> 00:06:21,248 GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! OH, MY GOD! 144 00:06:21,248 --> 00:06:22,682 SO, YOU HAD TO SLAP HIM. OH, MY GOD. RUN! RUN! RUN! 145 00:06:22,682 --> 00:06:24,317 I'M RUNNING AS FAST AS I CAN, MOM! 146 00:06:24,317 --> 00:06:26,019 GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GOTTA GO. GO! GO! GO! 147 00:06:26,019 --> 00:06:27,654 [ SIREN WAILS ] 148 00:06:27,654 --> 00:06:30,257 THAT WAY! THAT WAY! THAT WAY! THAT WAY! 149 00:06:33,627 --> 00:06:37,264 UH...HONEY, GO! GO! COME HERE. COME HERE. THIS WAY. 150 00:06:37,264 --> 00:06:39,666 THIS WAY. COME ON. COME ON. COME ON. OKAY, OKAY. 151 00:06:39,666 --> 00:06:40,767 [ SIGHS ] 152 00:06:40,767 --> 00:06:42,035 YOU ALL RIGHT? 153 00:06:42,035 --> 00:06:43,503 YEAH, FINE. 154 00:06:43,503 --> 00:06:45,605 [ SIGHS ] I'M FI-- MOM? MOM? 155 00:06:45,605 --> 00:06:46,640 I'M FI-- I'M FINE. I'M FINE. 156 00:06:46,640 --> 00:06:50,043 [ SIREN WAILS ] 157 00:06:50,043 --> 00:06:52,178 Maggie: HERE WE GO. 158 00:06:52,178 --> 00:06:54,014 YOU'RE GONNA SCARE -- 159 00:06:54,014 --> 00:06:55,348 OH, COME ON, MOM. LOOK AWAY. 160 00:06:55,348 --> 00:06:56,650 THERE'S NOWHERE FOR ME TO LOOK 161 00:06:56,650 --> 00:06:58,385 THAT I'M REMOTELY COMFORTABLE WITH. 162 00:06:58,385 --> 00:07:00,520 ALL RIGHT, MISS COOPER. THESE ARE PAINKILLERS. 163 00:07:00,520 --> 00:07:04,024 ONLY TAKE TWO A DAY. OH, DRUGS? 164 00:07:04,024 --> 00:07:06,426 I DON'T KNOW ABOUT DRUGS. 165 00:07:06,426 --> 00:07:09,129 YOU KNOW, I TRY TO KEEP MY BODY IN A HARMONIOUS, EARTHY BALANCE. 166 00:07:09,129 --> 00:07:11,164 THAT'S GOOD TO HEAR, MISS COOPER. 167 00:07:11,164 --> 00:07:13,366 EVERY DAY I MAKE MYSELF A GREEN SMOOTHIE. 168 00:07:13,366 --> 00:07:18,171 JUST ALL THE GREEN STUFF FROM MY...ORGANIC GARDEN. 169 00:07:18,171 --> 00:07:19,639 I JUST TAKE THAT STUFF AND I JUST THROW IT IN THERE 170 00:07:19,639 --> 00:07:23,043 LIKE PEA PODS AND BROCCOLI AND KALE 171 00:07:23,043 --> 00:07:24,077 AND QUENOAH. 172 00:07:24,077 --> 00:07:25,712 I THINK THAT'S QUINOA. MMM. 173 00:07:25,712 --> 00:07:27,147 [ CLEARS THROAT ] QUINOA, TOO. 174 00:07:27,147 --> 00:07:28,148 YES, YES. YEAH. 175 00:07:28,148 --> 00:07:29,616 EATING HEALTHY IS IMPORTANT. MM-HMM. 176 00:07:29,616 --> 00:07:31,184 YOU NEED TO MAKE SURE YOU'RE BALANCING IT WITH EXERCISE. 177 00:07:31,184 --> 00:07:32,552 ARE YOU EXERCISING? OH, YEAH. 178 00:07:32,552 --> 00:07:34,688 I GO TO THE GYM SO MUCH THAT THEY'RE LIKE, 179 00:07:34,688 --> 00:07:36,222 "MAGGIE COOPER, GET OUT!" [ LAUGHS ] 180 00:07:36,222 --> 00:07:39,592 I DO YOGA AND PILATES AND YOGALATES. 181 00:07:39,592 --> 00:07:42,062 YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE I DO? POLE DANCING. 182 00:07:42,062 --> 00:07:45,031 I LOVE TO POLE DANCE. 183 00:07:45,031 --> 00:07:48,134 I GO UP AND DOWN THAT POLE. I JUST LOVE IT. 184 00:07:48,134 --> 00:07:49,636 MISS COOPER, YOU NEED TO TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY, OKAY? 185 00:07:49,636 --> 00:07:50,971 OH, YEAH. YES. 186 00:07:50,971 --> 00:07:52,238 MM-HMM. 187 00:07:52,238 --> 00:07:53,640 MY MOTHER PASSED AWAY LAST YEAR, OKAY? 188 00:07:53,640 --> 00:07:55,375 AH. FROM A STROKE. 189 00:07:55,375 --> 00:07:57,077 SHE HAD JUST A FEW ANXIETY ATTACKS BEFORE 190 00:07:57,077 --> 00:07:58,578 FOR WARNING SIGNS, OKAY? 191 00:07:58,578 --> 00:08:00,180 SO WE NEED TO TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY. 192 00:08:00,180 --> 00:08:01,481 OKAY. OKAY. 193 00:08:01,481 --> 00:08:02,382 YEAH, ALL GOOD. 194 00:08:04,583 --> 00:08:06,118 [ DOOR CLOSES ] 195 00:08:06,118 --> 00:08:08,020 HIS MOTHER? I, MM, TOLD YOU NOT TO. 196 00:08:08,020 --> 00:08:09,922 HIS DAMN MOTHER? I WARNED YOU. 197 00:08:09,922 --> 00:08:12,157 OH, MY GOD. THAT WAS AWFUL. GET THE CAR. 198 00:08:12,157 --> 00:08:13,392 WHAT? 199 00:08:13,392 --> 00:08:15,127 GET THE CAR! LET'S GO! ALL RIGHT. 200 00:08:15,127 --> 00:08:16,862 WE'RE OUT OF HERE. GIVE ME THESE. 201 00:08:16,862 --> 00:08:20,566 YOU KNOW, I THINK YOU WERE WINNING HIM OVER THERE AT THE END. 202 00:08:20,566 --> 00:08:22,367 [ DOOR OPENS ] 203 00:08:22,367 --> 00:08:24,570 [ SIGHS ] 204 00:08:26,438 --> 00:08:27,840 MA'AM? 205 00:08:27,840 --> 00:08:28,941 DON'T CALL ME "MA'AM"! 206 00:08:28,941 --> 00:08:30,442 EXCUSE ME! 207 00:08:32,544 --> 00:08:34,379 ALWAYS PREPARED. 208 00:08:34,379 --> 00:08:36,048 WHAT WOULD I DO WITHOUT YOU? 209 00:08:36,048 --> 00:08:37,482 I DON'T KNOW. 210 00:08:37,482 --> 00:08:40,152 AWW, YOU KNOW WHAT? THESE PILLS DON'T WORK, THOUGH. 211 00:08:40,152 --> 00:08:42,821 THEY JUST ARE... 212 00:08:42,821 --> 00:08:44,156 [ LAUGHS ] 213 00:08:44,156 --> 00:08:46,091 OKAY. HERE WE GO. [ MOANS ] 214 00:08:46,091 --> 00:08:47,826 YOU KNOW YOU'RE WEARING A HOSPITAL GOWN, RIGHT? 215 00:08:47,826 --> 00:08:51,063 [ SCHOOL BELL RINGS ] 216 00:08:51,063 --> 00:08:53,065 [ INDISTINCT CHANTING ] 217 00:08:55,334 --> 00:08:59,037 [ LAUGHTER ] 218 00:09:06,311 --> 00:09:09,014 EXCUSE ME. 219 00:09:09,014 --> 00:09:10,315 WHAT UP, BOY? HEY! 220 00:09:10,315 --> 00:09:12,284 HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DUDE! [ SIGHS ] 221 00:09:12,284 --> 00:09:13,986 YOU KNOW, I ALMOST DIDN'T RECOGNIZE YOU 222 00:09:13,986 --> 00:09:15,053 WITHOUT THE DICK IN YOUR FACE. 223 00:09:15,053 --> 00:09:16,488 WHAT UP, DUDE? 224 00:09:16,488 --> 00:09:17,923 LATER, DOUCHE! 225 00:09:17,923 --> 00:09:18,824 [ LAUGHS ] 226 00:09:18,824 --> 00:09:21,360 THAT IS GREAT. 227 00:09:21,360 --> 00:09:23,328 HAPPY BIRTHDAY! 228 00:09:23,328 --> 00:09:25,230 OH, THANKS, FITCH. THANKS A LOT, MAN. 229 00:09:25,230 --> 00:09:26,565 YEAH, PROMISE I WON'T HUG YOU. 230 00:09:26,565 --> 00:09:28,267 SHE TREATS ME LIKE I'M 10 YEARS OLD. 231 00:09:28,267 --> 00:09:30,168 YEAH, DUDE, THIS IS A BAD ONE. I KNOW. 232 00:09:30,168 --> 00:09:31,470 BUT AT LEAST SHE CARES. 233 00:09:31,470 --> 00:09:33,071 YEAH, SHE CARES A LITTLE BIT TOO MUCH. 234 00:09:33,071 --> 00:09:36,475 THERE'S ANOTHER DICK IN MY FACE. I GIVE UP. 235 00:09:36,475 --> 00:09:39,278 [ DOG BARKS IN DISTANCE ] Lloyd: I HAVE A QUESTION FOR YOU. 236 00:09:39,278 --> 00:09:41,480 HOW IN THE WORLD DID YOU FIND THE TIME 237 00:09:41,480 --> 00:09:44,917 TO PLASTER THOSE AWFUL PICTURES OF ME ALL OVER SCHOOL? 238 00:09:44,917 --> 00:09:46,952 WHAT PICTURES? 239 00:09:46,952 --> 00:09:48,287 THE ONE -- COME ON. 240 00:09:48,287 --> 00:09:50,022 WHO ELSE WAS WITH ME AT THE DENTIST? 241 00:09:50,022 --> 00:09:51,290 NOBODY. IT WAS JUST YOU. 242 00:09:51,290 --> 00:09:52,925 WHAT HAPPENED AT THE DENTIST? 243 00:09:52,925 --> 00:09:54,860 THEY'RE THE PICTURES OF ME WHEN I HAVE THE -- 244 00:09:54,860 --> 00:09:56,328 THE, LIKE, GAUZE STUFFED IN MY MOUTH? 245 00:09:56,328 --> 00:09:57,896 [ Laughing ] AREN'T THEY GREAT?! 246 00:09:57,896 --> 00:09:59,531 YEAH, NO. THEY'RE AWFUL. COME ON! 247 00:09:59,531 --> 00:10:01,133 THEY'RE EMBARRASSING. THAT -- DID EVERYBODY LAUGH? 248 00:10:01,133 --> 00:10:02,534 AT ME. THEY WERE LAUGHING AT ME. 249 00:10:02,534 --> 00:10:04,569 WELL, IT'S KIND OF FUN. THAT'S LIKE A LOVE THING. 250 00:10:04,569 --> 00:10:06,038 NO, IT WAS ROUGH. 251 00:10:06,038 --> 00:10:07,873 OH, I'M SO SORRY. IT WAS A LOT OF THAT. 252 00:10:07,873 --> 00:10:09,174 ON YOUR 17th BIRTHDAY. I KNOW. 253 00:10:09,174 --> 00:10:10,409 THIS SHOULD BE A GREAT DAY. 254 00:10:10,409 --> 00:10:11,944 IT SHOULD BE, BUT IT WASN'T. I'M SO -- 255 00:10:11,944 --> 00:10:13,245 IT WAS -- IT WAS HARD. 256 00:10:13,245 --> 00:10:15,847 LET'S PAUSE FOR A MOMENT AND REMEMBER THE DAY, 257 00:10:15,847 --> 00:10:18,383 FOR ME, THE MOMENT YOU POPPED OUT OF MY COOCH. 258 00:10:18,383 --> 00:10:19,818 OH, GOD! 259 00:10:19,818 --> 00:10:20,852 WISH TIME. 260 00:10:20,852 --> 00:10:22,187 OKAY. ALL RIGHT. 261 00:10:22,187 --> 00:10:23,288 ALL RIGHT. 262 00:10:25,524 --> 00:10:27,092 OKAY. OKAY. 263 00:10:27,092 --> 00:10:28,126 ONE WISH. MM-HMM. 264 00:10:28,126 --> 00:10:29,261 AND I HAVE TO BE IN IT. 265 00:10:29,261 --> 00:10:31,029 YOU ARE. OKAY. 266 00:10:32,431 --> 00:10:34,333 YAY! HAPPY BIRTHDAY. 267 00:10:34,333 --> 00:10:36,234 OH, I DIDN'T GET IT. I DIDN'T GET IT! 268 00:10:36,234 --> 00:10:37,235 I DIDN'T GET IT. ONE MORE. 269 00:10:37,235 --> 00:10:39,204 CAN WE BE DONE, PLEASE? DONE? 270 00:10:39,204 --> 00:10:41,239 IT'S JUST -- IT'S TOO MUCH, MOM. 271 00:10:41,239 --> 00:10:42,908 I LOVE YOU SO MUCH. OKAY, READY? 272 00:10:42,908 --> 00:10:44,576 HAPPY BIRTHDAY. OKAY. OKAY. 273 00:10:44,576 --> 00:10:47,212 OKAY. ALL RIGHT. OKAY, YOU READY? YEAH. YEAH. MM-HMM. 274 00:10:47,212 --> 00:10:49,014 THREE, TWO, ONE. TWO, ONE. OKAY. 275 00:10:49,014 --> 00:10:50,382 OKAY. 276 00:10:50,382 --> 00:10:53,418 WE'RE STILL DOING THAT, BUT -- OKAY. 277 00:10:53,418 --> 00:10:57,189 [ SCHOOL BELL RINGS ] 278 00:10:58,256 --> 00:11:01,360 UH, I THINK YOU NEED TO CHECK THE PRINTER. 279 00:11:01,360 --> 00:11:02,561 THIS -- THIS PRINTED VERY LIGHT. 280 00:11:02,561 --> 00:11:04,096 WILL YOU CHECK ON THAT? 281 00:11:04,096 --> 00:11:05,564 YEAH, SURE. THANKS. 282 00:11:05,564 --> 00:11:07,833 UH, SATISFACTORY, FITCH. 283 00:11:07,833 --> 00:11:09,901 STORY OF MY LIFE. 284 00:11:09,901 --> 00:11:11,403 AND THAT WAS BEAUTIFUL, LLOYD. 285 00:11:11,403 --> 00:11:12,904 THANK YOU. 286 00:11:12,904 --> 00:11:15,207 DO YOU WRITE A LOT OF POETRY? NO. 287 00:11:15,207 --> 00:11:17,175 YOU KNOW, YOU SHOULD DO IT MORE OFTEN. 288 00:11:17,175 --> 00:11:18,577 POETRY? 289 00:11:18,577 --> 00:11:20,846 [ COUGHS ] FAGGOT! 290 00:11:20,846 --> 00:11:22,080 [ LAUGHS ] 291 00:11:22,080 --> 00:11:24,082 AT LEAST HE CAN READ 292 00:11:24,082 --> 00:11:25,517 AND WRITE, BRAD. 293 00:11:25,517 --> 00:11:27,953 CARRIE, WHAT DO I NEED TO WRITE FOR, OKAY? 294 00:11:27,953 --> 00:11:29,221 LOOK AT ME. 295 00:11:29,221 --> 00:11:31,289 I GOT A BODY BUILT FOR SUCCESS. 296 00:11:31,289 --> 00:11:34,459 AND AN I.Q. LOWER THAN ROOM TEMPERATURE. 297 00:11:34,459 --> 00:11:36,461 YEAH? WELL, THAT DIDN'T STOP RYAN LOCHTE. 298 00:11:36,461 --> 00:11:37,596 [ SMOOCHES ] 299 00:11:37,596 --> 00:11:40,899 EW. REALLY? GROSS, BRAD. 300 00:11:40,899 --> 00:11:43,101 LLOYD, DID YOU SUBMIT ANYTHING TO THE FINE ARTS ASSEMBLY? 301 00:11:43,101 --> 00:11:44,202 NO. 302 00:11:44,202 --> 00:11:45,370 WELL, NOW YOU HAVE. 303 00:11:45,370 --> 00:11:46,972 YOU'RE GOING TO READ THIS. 304 00:11:46,972 --> 00:11:48,240 NO, I CAN'T. 305 00:11:48,240 --> 00:11:50,475 YOU'VE GOTTA SHARE THIS WITH AS MANY PEOPLE AS POSSIBLE. 306 00:11:50,475 --> 00:11:52,077 THE THING IS, UH, IS -- IS -- IS LLOYD CAN'T DO CROWDS. 307 00:11:52,077 --> 00:11:53,445 NO. REALLY, THOUGH. 308 00:11:53,445 --> 00:11:55,947 JUST THINK ABOUT IT. [ SCHOOL BELL RINGS ] 309 00:11:55,947 --> 00:11:57,215 OKAY, GUYS, SEE YOU ALL NEXT TIME. 310 00:12:03,422 --> 00:12:06,591 SO, UM, YOU THINK I COULD MAYBE 311 00:12:06,591 --> 00:12:08,293 READ SOME OF YOUR STUFF SOMETIME? 312 00:12:08,293 --> 00:12:09,828 I REALLY LIKE POETRY. 313 00:12:09,828 --> 00:12:13,532 UH, NO, NO. NO, I-IT -- IT'S NOT GOOD. 314 00:12:13,532 --> 00:12:17,969 I DON'T -- I DON'T LIKE, UM, LIKE SHOWING IT TO ANYBODY. 315 00:12:17,969 --> 00:12:19,071 MUCH LESS READING IT OUT LOUD. 316 00:12:19,071 --> 00:12:22,407 I CA-- I CAN'T. WELL, UM... 317 00:12:22,407 --> 00:12:26,178 IF YOU CHANGE YOUR MIND, LET ME KNOW. 318 00:12:26,178 --> 00:12:28,513 [ CHUCKLES ] 319 00:12:34,986 --> 00:12:37,989 [ INDISTINCT CHATTER ] 320 00:12:44,096 --> 00:12:45,897 THANKS, LLOYD. 321 00:12:45,897 --> 00:12:48,366 YEAH, SURE, DREW. 322 00:12:50,435 --> 00:12:52,871 [ INDISTINCT YELLING ] 323 00:12:56,374 --> 00:12:59,311 [ BIRD CHIRPING ] 324 00:13:02,013 --> 00:13:03,415 OH. HEY. 325 00:13:03,415 --> 00:13:04,449 THANK YOU. 326 00:13:04,449 --> 00:13:05,984 ARE YOU SEEING ANYONE? 327 00:13:05,984 --> 00:13:07,052 NO. 328 00:13:07,052 --> 00:13:08,253 WHEN WAS YOUR FIRST KISS? 329 00:13:08,253 --> 00:13:10,288 WHAT -- WHAT IS THIS? 330 00:13:10,288 --> 00:13:11,423 DO YOU WANNA BE KISSED? 331 00:13:11,423 --> 00:13:12,891 NO. OKAY. 332 00:13:12,891 --> 00:13:13,425 OKAY. 333 00:13:13,425 --> 00:13:15,127 OKAY. 334 00:13:15,127 --> 00:13:15,927 YOU GOOD? 335 00:13:15,927 --> 00:13:18,163 OH, YEAH. I GET IT. OKAY. 336 00:13:18,163 --> 00:13:21,566 [ DISHES CLATTERING ] 337 00:13:23,235 --> 00:13:25,070 I AM NOT HERE. JUST CLEANING. 338 00:13:25,070 --> 00:13:28,106 JUST GOT STUFF TO DO. 339 00:13:28,106 --> 00:13:30,208 [ SIGHS ] 340 00:13:30,208 --> 00:13:33,011 WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT WHEN YOU... 341 00:13:33,011 --> 00:13:35,147 [ SQUEAKING ] 342 00:13:35,147 --> 00:13:36,948 OKAY, THAT'S GROSS. 343 00:13:36,948 --> 00:13:38,250 THAT IS NOT OKAY TO TALK ABOUT. 344 00:13:38,250 --> 00:13:39,384 WE CANNOT TALK ABOUT THAT, OKAY? 345 00:13:39,384 --> 00:13:41,153 GOT IT, OKAY. OKAY. 346 00:13:41,153 --> 00:13:42,821 WE DON'T HAVE TO TALK ABOUT IT. NO, WE DON'T. 347 00:13:42,821 --> 00:13:46,024 I'M JUST GONNA ASK YOU, THOUGH. DO YOU...DUST? 348 00:13:46,024 --> 00:13:49,060 I'M NOT GONNA -- I DON'T WANNA TALK ABOUT... 349 00:13:49,060 --> 00:13:50,362 MASTURBATE-- WITH YOU. 350 00:13:50,362 --> 00:13:51,563 OKAY. GOT IT. I'M NOT EVEN GONNA... 351 00:13:51,563 --> 00:13:53,165 THAT IS COOL. I AM TOTALLY OUT. 352 00:13:53,165 --> 00:13:54,099 ...DIGNIFY THAT QUESTION WITH A RESPONSE. 353 00:13:54,099 --> 00:13:55,800 OKAY. 354 00:13:55,800 --> 00:13:57,869 [ SIGHS ] 355 00:13:57,869 --> 00:14:00,405 [ CRUNCHING ] TOO LOUD. 356 00:14:00,405 --> 00:14:03,408 I'M SO SORRY. I'M -- I'M SO SORRY. IT'S... 357 00:14:03,408 --> 00:14:06,378 IF YOU LIKE BOYS, I'M TOTALLY INTO THAT. 358 00:14:06,378 --> 00:14:08,313 IF I WHAT? I WOULD SUPPORT THAT 100%. 359 00:14:08,313 --> 00:14:09,848 OKAY. 360 00:14:09,848 --> 00:14:12,284 IN MY SOPHOMORE YEAR, I HAD A THING WITH A GIRL. 361 00:14:12,284 --> 00:14:13,585 I KNOW. MINDY. MINDY! 362 00:14:13,585 --> 00:14:15,320 I KNOW. YOU LISTENED! GOD. 363 00:14:15,320 --> 00:14:16,555 I'VE HEARD THE STORY SO MANY TIMES. 364 00:14:16,555 --> 00:14:18,990 THE BEAUTIFUL THING ABOUT GIRL-ON-GIRL ACTION, 365 00:14:18,990 --> 00:14:21,326 AND BOY-ON-BOY -- THEY KNOW WHAT THEY'RE DOING. OKAY, OKAY. NO. 366 00:14:21,326 --> 00:14:22,994 THERE WOULDN'T BE, LIKE, A MINUTE OF, LIKE, 367 00:14:22,994 --> 00:14:25,297 "HEY, DON'T TOUCH THAT. THAT'S NOT A BUTTON." 368 00:14:25,297 --> 00:14:26,464 WHOA, WHOA, WHOA. MOM? MOM? MOM? 369 00:14:26,464 --> 00:14:27,933 CAN I JUST DO MY HOMEWORK, PLEASE? 370 00:14:27,933 --> 00:14:29,034 THERE'S NOTHING WRONG 371 00:14:29,034 --> 00:14:31,102 WITH BEING A LITTLE WILD AND FREE IN YOUR YOUTH. 372 00:14:31,102 --> 00:14:32,804 I JUST WANNA GET TO KNOW YOU A LITTLE BIT BETTER. 373 00:14:32,804 --> 00:14:35,240 OKAY, THEN JOIN THE PTA LIKE ALL THE OTHER MOMS. 374 00:14:35,240 --> 00:14:37,576 OKAY! I CAN DO THAT! 375 00:14:37,576 --> 00:14:39,277 NOT REALLY. 376 00:14:39,277 --> 00:14:40,478 GOD, I LOVE YOU! THAT'S A GREAT IDEA. 377 00:14:40,478 --> 00:14:42,380 NO! MOM, NO! 378 00:14:42,380 --> 00:14:45,116 [ UP-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYING ] 379 00:14:45,116 --> 00:14:47,085 [ TIRES SCREECH ] 380 00:14:53,225 --> 00:14:54,859 [ ENGINE SHUTS OFF ] 381 00:15:01,566 --> 00:15:04,202 MAKE SURE THAT EVERYBODY IS CHECKING -- 382 00:15:04,202 --> 00:15:08,506 HEY, LADIES! MAGGIE COOPER. SORRY I'M LATE. 383 00:15:10,809 --> 00:15:12,811 AS I WAS SAYING, 384 00:15:12,811 --> 00:15:15,046 PROM WILL BE HERE SOONER THAN YOU CAN BELIEVE! 385 00:15:15,046 --> 00:15:16,548 CLAP, CLAP, CLAP! 386 00:15:16,548 --> 00:15:19,451 AND, OF COURSE, I AM KEEPING TRACK 387 00:15:19,451 --> 00:15:22,187 OF YOUR MANDATORY VOLUNTEER HOURS. 388 00:15:22,187 --> 00:15:25,257 I'M LOOKING AT YOU, NORMA. YOU HAVE TO BUILD THE HOURS UP. 389 00:15:25,257 --> 00:15:27,859 I'VE NOTICED THAT YOUR CHECKLIST HAS BEEN DOWN. 390 00:15:27,859 --> 00:15:29,494 [ CLATTERING ] 391 00:15:29,494 --> 00:15:32,264 OH, FOR GOODNESS SAKE, 392 00:15:32,264 --> 00:15:34,399 IS THAT A DIAPHRAGM ON OUR BEAUTIFUL TABLE? 393 00:15:34,399 --> 00:15:37,102 IT'S ALL GOOD. JUST GONNA TAKE NOTES. 394 00:15:37,102 --> 00:15:39,137 [ CLEARS THROAT ] 395 00:15:39,137 --> 00:15:41,806 I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO EVERYBODY'S DECORATION IDEAS. 396 00:15:41,806 --> 00:15:44,075 I KNOW LAST YEAR A LOT OF US WERE IN A SLUMP, 397 00:15:44,075 --> 00:15:46,378 SO I KNOW THIS YEAR YOU ARE GOING TO WOW ME, 398 00:15:46,378 --> 00:15:47,979 AND I'M VERY EXCITED. 399 00:15:47,979 --> 00:15:50,048 NOW, DON'T FORGET TO PLEASE MAKE SURE 400 00:15:50,048 --> 00:15:52,017 YOU ARE ON THE CORRECT E-MAIL LISTS 401 00:15:52,017 --> 00:15:53,418 FOR YOUR RESPECTIVE COMMITTEES. 402 00:15:53,418 --> 00:15:55,820 AND IF ALL OF YOU HAVEN'T SIGNED UP 403 00:15:55,820 --> 00:15:57,255 AS CHAIR OF COMMITTEES 404 00:15:57,255 --> 00:16:00,558 AND ROPED IN EVERY SINGLE PARENT FROM EVERY SINGLE CLASS, 405 00:16:00,558 --> 00:16:04,162 IT WILL BE NOTED BY BARBARA WOLFE. 406 00:16:04,162 --> 00:16:07,599 EXCUSE ME. WHO'S BARBARA WOLFE? 407 00:16:09,367 --> 00:16:10,268 [ MEGAPHONE SQUEALS ] 408 00:16:10,268 --> 00:16:12,370 [ Amplified ] I AM BARBARA WOLFE! 409 00:16:12,370 --> 00:16:15,940 DR. BARBARA SLOAN HUNTINGTON WOLFE 410 00:16:15,940 --> 00:16:18,576 OF THE PASADENA SLOAN HUNTINGTONS! 411 00:16:18,576 --> 00:16:20,578 ALL GOOD. 412 00:16:23,014 --> 00:16:25,050 NAMASTE. 413 00:16:25,050 --> 00:16:27,952 THIS MEETING IS ADJOURNED. 414 00:16:27,952 --> 00:16:30,989 HAS ROBERT COMPLETED HIS ZIMMERMAN APPLICATIONS? 415 00:16:30,989 --> 00:16:33,591 I HEAR IT IS DUE AT THE END OF THE MONTH. 416 00:16:33,591 --> 00:16:36,294 YES, AND THE, UH, PETERSON AND THE O'REILLY. 417 00:16:36,294 --> 00:16:38,163 OH! GOOD FOR ROBERT. 418 00:16:38,163 --> 00:16:39,597 OH, DID YOU FILL OUT THE F.F.E.L.? 419 00:16:39,597 --> 00:16:41,466 YES, AND THE L.E.A.P. AND THE S.S.I.G. 420 00:16:41,466 --> 00:16:43,168 OH, MY CARRIE'S IN THE SAME BOAT. 421 00:16:43,168 --> 00:16:45,036 GOD HELP ME, IT IS LIKE PULLING TEETH 422 00:16:45,036 --> 00:16:46,538 TO GET HER TO FINISH THESE THINGS. 423 00:16:46,538 --> 00:16:48,540 WELL, HASN'T SHE TAKEN THE SATs? 424 00:16:48,540 --> 00:16:50,041 NATIONAL MERIT SCHOLAR. 425 00:16:50,041 --> 00:16:51,409 [ GASPS ] BARBARA! THAT'S WONDERFUL. 426 00:16:51,409 --> 00:16:53,945 OH! I BET YOU GUYS DIDN'T KNOW 427 00:16:53,945 --> 00:16:56,581 THAT HER LITTLE MELANIE HAD TO FILE FOR FAFSA. 428 00:16:56,581 --> 00:16:57,916 NO. 429 00:16:57,916 --> 00:16:59,884 YES. [ GASPS ] 430 00:16:59,884 --> 00:17:01,419 THEY AREN'T DOING WELL? 431 00:17:01,419 --> 00:17:04,155 THERE'S NO SHAME IN FILING FOR FINANCIAL AID, IS THERE? 432 00:17:04,155 --> 00:17:05,323 Both: NO. 433 00:17:05,323 --> 00:17:06,324 NO, OF COURSE NOT, SWEETHEART. 434 00:17:06,324 --> 00:17:07,192 WELL, DAMN. [ CHUCKLES ] 435 00:17:07,192 --> 00:17:08,560 EXCUSE ME? 436 00:17:08,560 --> 00:17:11,429 SORRY. I FORGET WHERE I AM SOMETIMES. 437 00:17:11,429 --> 00:17:13,365 SORRY ABOUT THAT. MAGGIE COOPER. 438 00:17:13,365 --> 00:17:15,033 HOW YOU GUYS DOIN'? 439 00:17:15,033 --> 00:17:17,535 UM, I'M LLOYD'S MOM. 440 00:17:17,535 --> 00:17:19,571 OUR KIDS ARE FRIE-- MAYBE YOU -- 441 00:17:19,571 --> 00:17:21,806 YOUR KIDS ARE FRIENDS WITH MY SON, LLOYD? 442 00:17:21,806 --> 00:17:24,509 WHAT ACTIVITIES DOES HE DO? 443 00:17:24,509 --> 00:17:26,177 WHAT ACTIVITIES ARE THERE? 444 00:17:26,177 --> 00:17:30,482 UM, CLUBS, ATHLETICS, EXTRACURRICULARS -- 445 00:17:30,482 --> 00:17:32,350 STUDENT GOVERNMENT, DEBATE, MATHLETES. 446 00:17:32,350 --> 00:17:34,119 HE READS A LOT. 447 00:17:34,119 --> 00:17:36,287 WELL, THEN HE'S PROBABLY NOT FRIENDS WITH OUR CHILDREN. 448 00:17:36,287 --> 00:17:39,090 WELL, I'M HERE TO CHANGE THAT! THAT'S WHAT I'M DOING! 449 00:17:39,090 --> 00:17:41,025 I AM HERE TO VOLUNTEER FOR STUFF. 450 00:17:41,025 --> 00:17:42,327 I CAN BE ON PROM COMMITTEE. 451 00:17:42,327 --> 00:17:43,862 I JUST WANNA BE MORE INVOLVED IN HIS SCHOOL 452 00:17:43,862 --> 00:17:45,597 BEFORE HE LEAVES FOR COLLEGE, YOU KNOW? 453 00:17:45,597 --> 00:17:47,499 SO, UH, SIGN ME UP. WHATCHA GOT? 454 00:17:47,499 --> 00:17:49,367 IF WE NEED SOMETHING, I'LL LET YOU KNOW. 455 00:17:49,367 --> 00:17:50,802 SO WHAT DO YOU GUYS WANNA DO NOW? 456 00:17:50,802 --> 00:17:52,203 WANNA GO GET A DRINK? [ CHUCKLES ] 457 00:17:53,438 --> 00:17:56,474 OKAY, WH-WHAT YOU'RE GOING TO DO IS SHOW UP NEXT WEEK, 458 00:17:56,474 --> 00:17:59,878 ON TIME, SIT DOWN QUIETLY, PREFERABLY BY THE DOOR, 459 00:17:59,878 --> 00:18:02,947 SO I CAN ASK YOU TO LEAVE IF YOU CAUSE ANOTHER DISTURBANCE. 460 00:18:04,916 --> 00:18:06,885 Maggie: THOSE BITCHES. Norma: THE NERVE. 461 00:18:06,885 --> 00:18:08,353 JUST BECAUSE LLOYD'S A LITTLE BOOKISH 462 00:18:08,353 --> 00:18:10,889 DOESN'T MEAN THEIR KIDS ARE ANY BETTER. EXACTLY. 463 00:18:10,889 --> 00:18:12,190 BUT IT DID GET ME THINKING, THOUGH, 464 00:18:12,190 --> 00:18:14,058 WHAT AM I GONNA DO ABOUT LLOYD'S FINANCIAL AID? 465 00:18:14,058 --> 00:18:15,427 DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH COLLEGE IS? 466 00:18:15,427 --> 00:18:16,294 A HUNDRED GRAND. 467 00:18:16,294 --> 00:18:18,496 [ SIGHS ] 468 00:18:18,496 --> 00:18:21,199 I THOUGHT IT WAS LIKE 30. 469 00:18:21,199 --> 00:18:24,135 WHAT AM I GONNA DO IF HE GETS INTO AN IVY LEAGUE SCHOOL? 470 00:18:24,135 --> 00:18:26,471 YOU REALLY WANT HIM GOING SOME FAR AWAY FROM HOME? 471 00:18:26,471 --> 00:18:27,839 NO, I DO NOT. 472 00:18:27,839 --> 00:18:29,374 [ SIGHS ] I GOTTA GET CREATIVE. 473 00:18:29,374 --> 00:18:31,042 I GOTTA THINK. 474 00:18:31,042 --> 00:18:32,977 THERE ARE SCHOLARSHIPS AVAILABLE, 475 00:18:32,977 --> 00:18:34,846 BUT THE COMPETITION IS FIERCE. 476 00:18:34,846 --> 00:18:36,981 IT'S A SHAME HE'S NOT A MINORITY. 477 00:18:36,981 --> 00:18:40,552 THEY HAVE TONS OF SCHOLARSHIPS FOR MINORITIES. 478 00:18:40,552 --> 00:18:44,088 LATINO, AFRICAN AMERICAN, WOMEN, AMPUTEES, 479 00:18:44,088 --> 00:18:47,258 ALBINOS, PACIFIC ISLANDERS. 480 00:18:47,258 --> 00:18:50,261 AH, I SHOULD'VE MARRIED RAY! UGH! 481 00:18:50,261 --> 00:18:52,297 RAY? WHO'S RAY? 482 00:18:52,297 --> 00:18:56,234 HE IS A SAMOAN GUY THAT I DATED IN HIGH SCHOOL. 483 00:18:56,234 --> 00:18:59,270 THAT DUDE COULD BEND MY LEGS OVER MY HEAD. 484 00:18:59,270 --> 00:19:00,472 YOU ARE MY HERO. 485 00:19:00,472 --> 00:19:02,807 LLOYD WOULD BE HALF PACIFIC ISLANDER. 486 00:19:02,807 --> 00:19:04,108 SHOULD'VE MARRIED RAY, NOT MAX. 487 00:19:04,108 --> 00:19:07,011 THEY EVEN HAVE SCHOLARSHIPS FOR GAYS. 488 00:19:07,011 --> 00:19:09,380 REALLY? 489 00:19:09,380 --> 00:19:12,016 YOU KNOW, I CAN'T FIGURE OUT IF LLOYD IS GAY OR STRAIGHT. 490 00:19:12,016 --> 00:19:14,252 AND CAN YOU BELIEVE HE WON'T TALK TO ME ABOUT IT? 491 00:19:14,252 --> 00:19:16,421 WOULD YOU HAVE A PROBLEM IF HE WAS? 492 00:19:16,421 --> 00:19:18,490 ARE YOU KIDDING ME? I'D BE THRILLED. 493 00:19:18,490 --> 00:19:19,157 WHY? 494 00:19:19,157 --> 00:19:20,525 WHY? 495 00:19:20,525 --> 00:19:21,993 BECAUSE HE'D BE THE ONLY MAN 496 00:19:21,993 --> 00:19:23,061 WHO NEVER LEFT ME FOR ANOTHER WOMAN. 497 00:19:23,061 --> 00:19:24,863 YOU KNOW HOW GREAT THAT WOULD BE? 498 00:19:24,863 --> 00:19:26,598 HE'D BE JUST WITH ME ALL THE TIME. 499 00:19:26,598 --> 00:19:30,368 OH, MY GOD. MY GAY SON AND ME GOING PURSE SHOPPING. 500 00:19:30,368 --> 00:19:32,070 HOW GREAT WOULD THAT BE? 501 00:19:32,070 --> 00:19:33,505 I COULD BE WALKING DOWN THE STREET, 502 00:19:33,505 --> 00:19:35,273 GOING TO THE THEATER WITH MY GAY SON, 503 00:19:35,273 --> 00:19:37,375 LIKE, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" "OH, JUST GOING TO THE THEATER! 504 00:19:37,375 --> 00:19:39,410 "THIS IS MY GAY SON. HE'S TAKING ME TO THE THEATER! 505 00:19:39,410 --> 00:19:41,412 HE'S TAKING ME TO THE OPERA! I'M GOING TO THE OPERA WITH MY GAY SON!" 506 00:19:41,412 --> 00:19:43,581 JUST WALKIN'-- I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW YOU LIKED THE OPERA. 507 00:19:43,581 --> 00:19:45,984 I HAVE NEVER BEEN TO THE OPERA, AND I WOULD HATE IT, 508 00:19:45,984 --> 00:19:47,886 BUT I WOULD BE THERE WITH MY GAY SON. 509 00:19:47,886 --> 00:19:49,053 AND THAT WOULD BE SO GREAT. 510 00:19:49,053 --> 00:19:51,856 MY SON'S NOT GAY. HE DOESN'T LIKE PESTO. 511 00:19:51,856 --> 00:19:54,259 YEAH, HE'S SO NOT GAY. 512 00:20:48,880 --> 00:20:50,949 [ INDISTINCT CONVERSATION ] 513 00:21:01,993 --> 00:21:03,094 [ SIGHS ] 514 00:21:03,094 --> 00:21:05,063 RELAX, MAN, YOU'RE MAKING ME NERVOUS. 515 00:21:05,063 --> 00:21:06,531 SHE'S NOWHERE IN SIGHT. YEAH, NOT YET. 516 00:21:06,531 --> 00:21:07,532 ♪ I LOVE YOU ♪ 517 00:21:07,532 --> 00:21:09,000 ♪ AND I LOVE YOU ♪ 518 00:21:09,000 --> 00:21:10,335 ♪ LET ME SING THIS SONG ♪ 519 00:21:10,335 --> 00:21:12,270 ♪ OH, BABY, IT'S A BIG, WIDE WORLD ♪ 520 00:21:12,270 --> 00:21:13,805 ♪ IT'S A BIG, WIDE WORLD ♪ 521 00:21:13,805 --> 00:21:15,206 LLOYD, ARE YOU READY? 522 00:21:15,206 --> 00:21:17,108 UM, I'M REALLY NERVOUS. 523 00:21:17,108 --> 00:21:18,910 WELL, I'M VERY PROUD OF YOU FOR DOING THIS. 524 00:21:18,910 --> 00:21:20,144 [ EXHALES SHARPLY ] 525 00:21:20,144 --> 00:21:25,083 [ APPLAUSE ] 526 00:21:25,083 --> 00:21:27,518 LET'S GIVE THEM ANOTHER ROUND OF APPLAUSE. 527 00:21:27,518 --> 00:21:29,153 WASN'T THAT AMAZING? 528 00:21:29,153 --> 00:21:31,956 WHO KNEW WE HAD SO MUCH TALENT AT THIS SCHOOL? 529 00:21:31,956 --> 00:21:34,092 NEXT UP, YOU KNOW THEM WELL -- 530 00:21:34,092 --> 00:21:35,960 IT'S THE GIRLS' DANCE SQUAD. 531 00:21:35,960 --> 00:21:39,897 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 532 00:21:39,897 --> 00:21:41,399 [ DANCE MUSIC PLAYS ] 533 00:21:41,399 --> 00:21:43,401 [ CRUNCHING ] 534 00:21:47,038 --> 00:21:48,272 JUST TAKE A BREATH, YOU'LL BE FINE. 535 00:21:48,272 --> 00:21:49,507 YOUR POEM IS BEAUTIFUL. 536 00:21:49,507 --> 00:21:51,843 YOU GOT THIS. 537 00:21:51,843 --> 00:21:53,978 OH, OKAY. DEEP BREATHS. 538 00:21:53,978 --> 00:21:56,080 [ MUSIC CONTINUES ] 539 00:22:05,089 --> 00:22:07,058 [ MUSIC STOPS, CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 540 00:22:12,230 --> 00:22:15,133 OKAY, UM, NEXT UP WE'VE GOT A POEM 541 00:22:15,133 --> 00:22:18,036 FROM MRS. MOORE'S ENGLISH CLASS. 542 00:22:18,036 --> 00:22:21,172 [ AUDIENCE MEMBER COUGHS ] 543 00:22:21,172 --> 00:22:22,440 YOU'LL BE FINE. I CAN'T. 544 00:22:22,440 --> 00:22:24,175 COME ON! 545 00:22:24,175 --> 00:22:27,412 [ BAG RUSTLES ] 546 00:22:27,412 --> 00:22:29,180 COME OUT HERE. 547 00:22:29,180 --> 00:22:30,348 Brad: DOUCHE BAG, COME OUT! HE'LL BE FINE. 548 00:22:30,348 --> 00:22:32,950 HEY, KID, COME ON. 549 00:22:32,950 --> 00:22:34,519 HE'S COMING. SOMETIME TODAY. 550 00:22:37,321 --> 00:22:39,424 SERIOUSLY. OH! 551 00:22:39,424 --> 00:22:42,093 [ LAUGHTER ] Sorry! Love you! 552 00:22:42,093 --> 00:22:43,561 JUST GO UP TO THE MIC RIGHT THERE. 553 00:22:43,561 --> 00:22:46,064 HEY, PRETTY BOY! 554 00:22:46,064 --> 00:22:49,167 OKAY, OKAY. 555 00:22:51,836 --> 00:22:53,471 [ SIGHS ] 556 00:22:53,471 --> 00:22:54,439 HEY, JUNIOR. 557 00:22:57,041 --> 00:22:59,544 [ BREATHING HEAVILY ] 558 00:22:59,544 --> 00:23:01,479 Young woman: WHAT IS HE DOING? COME ON, LLOYD. 559 00:23:01,479 --> 00:23:04,115 SPIT IT OUT! Young man: COME ON, SHAKESPEARE. SHOW US WHAT YOU GOT! 560 00:23:09,954 --> 00:23:11,222 GET OFF THE STAGE, QUEER! 561 00:23:11,222 --> 00:23:14,092 [ LAUGHTER ] 562 00:23:14,092 --> 00:23:15,493 [ CROWD GASPS ] 563 00:23:15,493 --> 00:23:16,561 MOM? 564 00:23:18,296 --> 00:23:21,799 NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO. 565 00:23:21,799 --> 00:23:23,234 NOW IT'S A TALENT SHOW. 566 00:23:23,234 --> 00:23:26,003 GO AHEAD. JUST TAKE A BREATH. TAKE A BREATH. 567 00:23:26,003 --> 00:23:26,838 JUST HOLD UP. JUST DON'T GO ANYWHERE. Brad: OH, MY GOD. LOOK AT HER GOLD SHOES! 568 00:23:26,838 --> 00:23:30,074 Maggie: EVERYONE, SHUT UP. 569 00:23:30,074 --> 00:23:32,944 MY SON IS GOING TO READ A POEM. GO AHEAD, LLOYD. 570 00:23:32,944 --> 00:23:34,112 DID YOUR MOM BRING YOUR BOTTLE?! 571 00:23:34,112 --> 00:23:35,446 [ LAUGHTER ] WHO IS THAT? 572 00:23:35,446 --> 00:23:37,949 WHO'S THAT? HMM? 573 00:23:37,949 --> 00:23:40,184 OH. OH, YEAH, IT'S YOU. 574 00:23:40,184 --> 00:23:42,854 YEAH, WELL, YOU ARE RUINING IT FOR EVERYONE, OKAY? 575 00:23:42,854 --> 00:23:44,422 STAND UP, SHOW YOURSELF. LET'S SEE YOU. 576 00:23:44,422 --> 00:23:46,824 YEAH, YOU THINK IT'S OKAY TO CALL PEOPLE NAMES, 577 00:23:46,824 --> 00:23:47,892 YOU LITTLE TURD? 578 00:23:47,892 --> 00:23:50,061 [ LAUGHTER ] 579 00:23:50,061 --> 00:23:52,263 YOU THINK IT'S OKAY TO CALL PEOPLE... 580 00:23:52,263 --> 00:23:54,265 [EXHALES] GAY? 581 00:23:54,265 --> 00:23:56,134 HIS POETRY IS BEAUTIFUL. 582 00:23:56,134 --> 00:23:58,336 IT'S NOT WHAT YOU PEOPLE ARE WRITING -- 583 00:23:58,336 --> 00:23:59,904 UNICORNS AND BONERS. 584 00:23:59,904 --> 00:24:01,939 [ LAUGHTER ] 585 00:24:01,939 --> 00:24:03,441 GO TO THE PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE. 586 00:24:03,441 --> 00:24:06,911 THE PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE? YOU DON'T EVEN WORK HERE. 587 00:24:06,911 --> 00:24:08,412 I CAN HANDLE THIS, MRS. COOPER! 588 00:24:08,412 --> 00:24:10,915 SO IT'S ONLY THE TEACHERS WHO CAN GIVE ORDERS AROUND HERE? 589 00:24:10,915 --> 00:24:12,016 ACTUALLY, YES. THAT'S TRUE. 590 00:24:12,016 --> 00:24:13,251 OH, UH, OKAY, OH, PLEASE. 591 00:24:13,251 --> 00:24:15,052 AS IF YOU'D TREAT BARBARA WOLF LIKE THIS. 592 00:24:15,052 --> 00:24:16,854 BARBARA WOLF WOULD BE LIKE, "OH, I'M GONNA TALK." 593 00:24:16,854 --> 00:24:18,856 BARBARA WOLF WOULD NOT BE ON STAGE RIGHT NOW. 594 00:24:18,856 --> 00:24:20,324 SECURITY! WE DON'T KNOW THAT FOR SURE. 595 00:24:20,324 --> 00:24:23,427 I WANNA SAY SOMETHING ABOUT POETRY. HEY! 596 00:24:23,427 --> 00:24:25,029 EXCUSE ME? WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! 597 00:24:25,029 --> 00:24:26,964 [ LAUGHTER AND CHEERING ] 598 00:24:26,964 --> 00:24:28,966 [ LAUGHS ] BRAVO! 599 00:24:28,966 --> 00:24:31,269 [ MURMURS INDISTINCTLY ] 600 00:24:33,504 --> 00:24:35,807 UM... 601 00:24:35,807 --> 00:24:39,010 [ SIREN CHIRPS ] 602 00:24:39,010 --> 00:24:41,879 NOW, BAILING YOUR MOTHER OUT OF JAIL, THAT'S A FIRST. 603 00:24:41,879 --> 00:24:43,915 USED TO BE THE OTHER WAY AROUND. 604 00:24:43,915 --> 00:24:44,916 YEAH, 17 TIMES. 605 00:24:44,916 --> 00:24:46,517 17 TIMES, WHAT? 606 00:24:46,517 --> 00:24:49,587 UH, THE NUMBER OF TIMES MOM HAS BAILED YOU OUT OF JAIL. 607 00:24:49,587 --> 00:24:50,388 THAT MANY TIMES? 608 00:24:50,388 --> 00:24:52,890 YEAH. THAT I KNOW OF. 609 00:24:52,890 --> 00:24:56,027 I WAS CONVICTED ONCE. PUBLIC NUISANCE. 610 00:24:56,027 --> 00:24:58,129 I MEAN, REALLY. I'M A ROCK STAR. 611 00:24:58,129 --> 00:25:01,966 THAT WAS A LONG, LONG, LONG TIME AGO, MAX. 612 00:25:01,966 --> 00:25:04,902 I STILL TOUR. 613 00:25:04,902 --> 00:25:06,971 INDIAN CASINOS. 614 00:25:06,971 --> 00:25:08,372 [ DOOR OPENS ] 615 00:25:08,372 --> 00:25:09,941 THINGS CHANGE. 616 00:25:09,941 --> 00:25:12,343 OH, I KNOW. I WENT TO MY FIRST PTA MEETING LAST WEEK. 617 00:25:12,343 --> 00:25:14,445 [ LAUGHS ] ALL RIGHT. 618 00:25:14,445 --> 00:25:16,113 THAT'S PRETTY FUNNY. 619 00:25:16,113 --> 00:25:19,817 AM I, UH... 620 00:25:19,817 --> 00:25:21,886 COMIN' IN? 621 00:25:21,886 --> 00:25:23,321 NO JAIL JOKES. 622 00:25:23,321 --> 00:25:25,323 [ Chuckling ] I WAS JUST ABOUT -- 623 00:25:25,323 --> 00:25:27,925 OH, YEAH, I SAW YOU FORMING IT! DON'T EVEN! 624 00:25:27,925 --> 00:25:30,261 SO I WAS THINKING, LIKE, BLOND STREAK, BLACK STREAK, 625 00:25:30,261 --> 00:25:31,596 BLOND STREAK, BLACK STREAK. 626 00:25:31,596 --> 00:25:32,997 1987. 627 00:25:32,997 --> 00:25:34,932 WHAT? YOU LOVED IT. 628 00:25:34,932 --> 00:25:37,001 MM. IT WAS HOT. 629 00:25:37,001 --> 00:25:38,502 1987. 630 00:25:38,502 --> 00:25:40,171 DOESN'T MATTER. IT'S MY LOOK. I'M GONNA ROCK IT HARD. 631 00:25:40,171 --> 00:25:41,572 I MIGHT EVEN DO IT TONIGHT. 632 00:25:41,572 --> 00:25:44,008 I'M GONNA DO IT WITH MY MUSTACHE BLEACH. 633 00:25:44,008 --> 00:25:46,210 OKAY. MM. ALL RIGHT. I'M GONNA GO TO BED. 634 00:25:46,210 --> 00:25:48,880 YOU GUYS TRY NOT TO GET ARRESTED WHILE I'M GONE, OKAY? 635 00:25:48,880 --> 00:25:50,448 YES, DAD. 636 00:25:50,448 --> 00:25:51,449 HA HA. 637 00:25:51,449 --> 00:25:52,950 I was just gonna say... 638 00:25:55,519 --> 00:25:59,357 [ UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYS, LAUGHTER ] 639 00:26:10,101 --> 00:26:11,535 Maggie: WE GOTTA TALK ABOUT LLOYD. 640 00:26:11,535 --> 00:26:12,870 WHY? HE'S A GREAT KID. 641 00:26:12,870 --> 00:26:14,071 HE IS A GREAT KID. 642 00:26:14,071 --> 00:26:16,040 I DON'T KNOW HOW IT HAPPENED, BUT... 643 00:26:16,040 --> 00:26:18,943 AND... 644 00:26:18,943 --> 00:26:21,479 OUR SON'S GAY. 645 00:26:21,479 --> 00:26:24,382 MY SON...GAY? 646 00:26:24,382 --> 00:26:25,850 OUR SON. 647 00:26:25,850 --> 00:26:27,285 YEAH, OKAY. OUR SON, GAY? 648 00:26:27,285 --> 00:26:29,553 I DON'T GET THE GAY VIBE AT ALL FROM HIM. 649 00:26:29,553 --> 00:26:32,290 WELL, SEE, I THINK THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT THE PROBLEM IS. 650 00:26:32,290 --> 00:26:34,458 I THINK THAT HE DOESN'T WANT TO COME OUT 651 00:26:34,458 --> 00:26:37,028 TO HIS SUPER-HETERO DAD 'CAUSE HE'LL DISAPPOINT YOU. 652 00:26:38,129 --> 00:26:41,265 I WOULDN'T -- I WOULDN'T BE DISAPPOINTED. 653 00:26:41,265 --> 00:26:42,500 ARE YOU SURE ABOUT THAT? 654 00:26:42,500 --> 00:26:44,568 YEAH, NO, I JUST DON'T THINK HE IS. 655 00:26:44,568 --> 00:26:47,071 YOU GOTTA TRUST A MOM ON THIS ONE, OKAY? 656 00:26:47,071 --> 00:26:48,406 [ SCOFFS ] WHATEVER YOU SAY. 657 00:26:48,406 --> 00:26:52,209 OKAY. TALK TO HIM. TELL HIM YOU'RE OKAY WITH IT. 658 00:26:52,209 --> 00:26:54,178 FOR 10 YEARS YOU'VE BEEN SAYING, 659 00:26:54,178 --> 00:26:56,080 "I DON'T WANT YOU TO TALK TO HIM. 660 00:26:56,080 --> 00:26:57,148 YOU'RE A BAD INFLUENCE." 661 00:26:57,148 --> 00:26:59,016 10 YEARS, AT LEAST! 662 00:26:59,016 --> 00:27:01,852 NOW YOU WANT ME TO TALK TO HIM? 663 00:27:01,852 --> 00:27:04,255 [ SIGHS ] 664 00:27:04,255 --> 00:27:07,558 THINGS CHANGE, OKAY? 665 00:27:10,594 --> 00:27:13,297 OKAY. OKAY. 666 00:27:14,832 --> 00:27:17,401 Barbara: NOW SHOO. GO, GO, PLEASE. 667 00:27:17,401 --> 00:27:18,569 FASTER. 668 00:27:18,569 --> 00:27:20,438 MAGGIE? 669 00:27:20,438 --> 00:27:21,539 COME HERE, PLEASE. 670 00:27:21,539 --> 00:27:24,008 RIGHT THERE? YES. 671 00:27:24,008 --> 00:27:25,977 PLEASE. 672 00:27:25,977 --> 00:27:28,879 YOU KNOW, I'M SORRY THAT I MISSED YOUR SCENE 673 00:27:28,879 --> 00:27:31,148 AT THE ARTS FESTIVAL THE OTHER DAY. 674 00:27:31,148 --> 00:27:32,883 OH, YOU HEARD ABOUT ME. 675 00:27:32,883 --> 00:27:34,018 STOP RIGHT THERE. THAT'S FINE. 676 00:27:34,018 --> 00:27:35,353 UNFORTUNATELY, I DID. 677 00:27:35,353 --> 00:27:37,488 IT SEEMS THAT YOU MENTIONED ME TO MRS. MOORE? 678 00:27:37,488 --> 00:27:40,891 I GET WORKED UP SOMETIMES. SORRY. 679 00:27:40,891 --> 00:27:43,828 THAT IS IN THE PAST, IT IS BEHIND ME, 680 00:27:43,828 --> 00:27:45,997 AND I'M JUST TURNING OVER A NEW LEAF, 681 00:27:45,997 --> 00:27:48,833 AND LET'S JUST MOVE ON AND DO THE PROM STUFF, OKAY? 682 00:27:48,833 --> 00:27:51,135 MRS. MOORE TOLD ME THAT YOUR SON SEEMS SENSITIVE. 683 00:27:51,135 --> 00:27:54,572 YES, HE IS. SENSITIVE. 684 00:27:54,572 --> 00:27:56,574 MM, SENSITIVE-LOOKING. 685 00:27:56,574 --> 00:27:58,342 IS THAT CODE? 686 00:27:58,342 --> 00:28:00,878 IT SEEMS THAT THIS MIGHT BE A WONDERFUL TIME FOR YOUR SON, 687 00:28:00,878 --> 00:28:03,114 WHO'S VERY SENSITIVE, TO START MAYBE HIS OWN CLUB. 688 00:28:03,114 --> 00:28:04,915 MAYBE A SENSITIVE BOYS' CLUB. 689 00:28:04,915 --> 00:28:06,183 OR A GAY CLUB! 690 00:28:06,183 --> 00:28:07,451 A GAY CLUB. 691 00:28:07,451 --> 00:28:08,853 WHAT WOULD THEY DO THERE? 692 00:28:08,853 --> 00:28:09,920 NEEDLEPOINT. 693 00:28:09,920 --> 00:28:11,589 CHOREOGRAPHY. 694 00:28:11,589 --> 00:28:13,124 Bunny: POETRY? 695 00:28:13,124 --> 00:28:15,126 ANYTHING THAT A SEAMSTRESS WOULD DO. 696 00:28:15,126 --> 00:28:16,460 I MEAN, SURE. WHY NOT? 697 00:28:16,460 --> 00:28:18,062 'CAUSE ALL THE BEST FASHION DESIGNERS ARE GAY MEN, 698 00:28:18,062 --> 00:28:19,964 SO I WOULD LOVE THAT. 699 00:28:19,964 --> 00:28:21,599 HE COULD BE MARC JACOBS OR THE NEXT MICHAEL KORS. THAT'S TRUE. 700 00:28:21,599 --> 00:28:23,334 HE COULD BE ON "PROJECT RUNWAY" GOING, 701 00:28:23,334 --> 00:28:25,369 "HI, GUYS." I WOULD LOVE IT. 702 00:28:25,369 --> 00:28:27,938 I GUESS BECAUSE I'M A SINGLE MOM, MY SON AND I, 703 00:28:27,938 --> 00:28:29,473 WE HANG OUT A LOT 704 00:28:29,473 --> 00:28:31,509 AND WE JUST HAVE A REALLY CLOSE RELATIONSHIP WHICH IS -- 705 00:28:31,509 --> 00:28:34,045 MAYBE IT'S JUST THE WAY IT IS WITH GAY SONS, 706 00:28:34,045 --> 00:28:36,047 AND WE'RE PROBABLY JUST GONNA HAVE, LIKE, A -- 707 00:28:36,047 --> 00:28:38,049 JUST A GREAT LIFE, GO OFF ON CRUISES, 708 00:28:38,049 --> 00:28:39,483 AND I'M SURE HE'LL TAKE ME TO PARIS, 709 00:28:39,483 --> 00:28:40,818 AND I-I'LL TELL YOU SOMETHING ELSE, TOO -- 710 00:28:40,818 --> 00:28:42,353 I BET I'LL BE THE BEST DRESSED MOM 711 00:28:42,353 --> 00:28:44,221 IN THE ASSISTED-LIVING FACILITY IN SOUTH BEACH. 712 00:28:44,221 --> 00:28:46,257 HE'LL JUST PARK ME THERE. IT'LL BE GREAT. 713 00:28:46,257 --> 00:28:47,858 SHOULD WE TALK ABOUT THE PROM, MAYBE? 714 00:28:47,858 --> 00:28:49,260 Barbara: YES. YEAH. 715 00:28:49,260 --> 00:28:50,494 BARBARA WOLF ALWAYS FEELS LIKE 716 00:28:50,494 --> 00:28:51,962 PEOPLE WHO ARE SENSITIVE 717 00:28:51,962 --> 00:28:53,964 MAYBE SHOULD HAVE THEIR OWN SENSITIVE PROM. 718 00:28:53,964 --> 00:28:59,270 PERHAPS YOUR SON SHOULD HAVE HIS OWN GAY PROM. 719 00:28:59,270 --> 00:29:00,538 IT COULD BE RAINBOW THEMED! 720 00:29:00,538 --> 00:29:02,206 OR SPARKLES. OH! I LOVE SPARKLES. 721 00:29:02,206 --> 00:29:03,140 THESE GIRLS HAVE GREAT IDEAS FOR GAYS. 722 00:29:03,140 --> 00:29:04,475 MY SON'S COMING TO THIS PROM. 723 00:29:04,475 --> 00:29:07,011 HE'S GONNA BE AT THIS PROM. 724 00:29:07,011 --> 00:29:08,379 IF HE HAS A DATE. 725 00:29:08,379 --> 00:29:10,815 HE'S COMING TO THIS PROM. IT'S ALL GOOD. 726 00:29:10,815 --> 00:29:13,150 WELL, MAGGIE, GOOD LUCK WITH YOUR GAY SON 727 00:29:13,150 --> 00:29:15,152 WHO'S GOING TO TAKE YOU TO PARIS. 728 00:29:15,152 --> 00:29:16,487 IN THE MEANTIME, 729 00:29:16,487 --> 00:29:18,556 MAYBE HE SHOULD TALK TO YOU ABOUT YOUR HAIR. 730 00:29:18,556 --> 00:29:20,091 IT'S SO NICE. 731 00:29:20,091 --> 00:29:22,026 WELL, THANK YOU. 732 00:29:22,026 --> 00:29:23,260 I WASN'T COMPLIMENTING YOU. GIRLS? 733 00:29:23,260 --> 00:29:26,997 [ DOOR OPENS ] 734 00:29:26,997 --> 00:29:28,899 OUCH! 735 00:29:28,899 --> 00:29:29,834 WOW! 736 00:29:29,834 --> 00:29:32,369 OKAY. 737 00:29:32,369 --> 00:29:34,972 WHAT IS UP WITH THAT? 738 00:29:34,972 --> 00:29:36,574 UNBELIEVABLE. 739 00:29:36,574 --> 00:29:38,442 THEY'RE OUT FOR ME, RIGHT? 740 00:29:38,442 --> 00:29:40,444 YEAH. WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 741 00:29:40,444 --> 00:29:42,413 OH, BARBARA WOLF FINALLY GAVE ME A JOB. 742 00:29:42,413 --> 00:29:44,482 I GET TO CLEAN UP AFTER THE MEETING. 743 00:29:44,482 --> 00:29:45,983 HEY, I'LL SEE YOU BACK AT YOUR HOUSE, RIGHT? 744 00:29:45,983 --> 00:29:48,519 YES, PLEASE. BRING BOOZE. 745 00:29:48,519 --> 00:29:52,323 AND A TRANQUILIZER DART. 746 00:30:06,570 --> 00:30:08,139 [ SMOOCHES ] 747 00:30:09,840 --> 00:30:12,543 [ Mockingly ] "MY NAME IS BARBARA WOLF. 748 00:30:14,445 --> 00:30:17,214 "PRESIDENT OF THE WORLD AND THE PTA. 749 00:30:17,214 --> 00:30:19,150 "MY NAME IS BARBARA WOLF. 750 00:30:19,150 --> 00:30:22,253 "I DO NOT HAVE ANY VEINS IN MY BODY. 751 00:30:22,253 --> 00:30:23,254 "MY COOCH IS AN ICICLE. 752 00:30:23,254 --> 00:30:25,189 "My name is Barbara Wolf. 753 00:30:25,189 --> 00:30:28,025 I AM BARBARA WOLF." AHH! [ LAUGHS ] 754 00:30:29,226 --> 00:30:31,562 [ Normal voice ] BARBARA? 755 00:30:48,279 --> 00:30:50,114 [ SCHOOL BELL RINGS ] 756 00:30:52,550 --> 00:30:54,952 Fitch: CONGRATULATIONS. 757 00:30:54,952 --> 00:30:57,555 I MEAN, I REALLY WISH YOU WOULD'VE TOLD ME YOURSELF, 758 00:30:57,555 --> 00:30:59,056 SERIOUSLY, BUT CONGRATS. 759 00:30:59,056 --> 00:31:00,424 WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? 760 00:31:00,424 --> 00:31:01,425 YOUR SCHOLARSHIP APPLICATION. 761 00:31:01,425 --> 00:31:03,327 THEY POSTED THE FINALISTS THIS MORNING. 762 00:31:03,327 --> 00:31:05,296 WHAT APPLICATION? "WHAT APPLICATION?" 763 00:31:05,296 --> 00:31:07,198 YEAH. COME ON, YOU BIG QUEEN! 764 00:31:07,198 --> 00:31:08,532 YOU DON'T HAVE TO HIDE IN THE CLOSET ANYMORE. WHAT? 765 00:31:08,532 --> 00:31:10,167 THAT'S THE POINT, RIGHT? 766 00:31:10,167 --> 00:31:12,236 I'M PRETTY CONFUSED BY YOUR WHOLE -- YOUR WHOLE THING. 767 00:31:12,236 --> 00:31:13,571 I DON'T... 768 00:31:13,571 --> 00:31:15,439 Y-YOU CAN'T KEEP PLAYING IT COY, MAN. 769 00:31:15,439 --> 00:31:16,807 I DON'T KNOW WHAT THIS -- WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? 770 00:31:16,807 --> 00:31:18,075 THEY POSTED IT. POSTED WHAT? 771 00:31:20,177 --> 00:31:21,845 [ LAUGHS ] 772 00:31:21,845 --> 00:31:23,414 GOD, SHE'S TRYING TO GET ME KILLED. OH, MY GOD. 773 00:31:23,414 --> 00:31:25,115 WHAT? [ CHEERING ] 774 00:31:25,115 --> 00:31:26,350 THERE HE IS! 775 00:31:26,350 --> 00:31:28,319 LLOYD, COME ON UP HERE! WHAT? 776 00:31:28,319 --> 00:31:29,353 COME ON! 777 00:31:29,353 --> 00:31:30,454 I-I THINK THEY WANT YOU 778 00:31:30,454 --> 00:31:31,522 TO BE IN -- IN PROM COURT! 779 00:31:31,522 --> 00:31:33,224 LET'S LOOK AT YOU. NO, NO, NO, NO, NO. 780 00:31:33,224 --> 00:31:34,491 YOU LOOK GREAT. THIS IS GREAT. HELP! NO! 781 00:31:34,491 --> 00:31:37,294 IT'S 2014! BEING GAY IS COOL NOW! 782 00:31:37,294 --> 00:31:39,563 I AM SO PROUD TO WELCOME 783 00:31:39,563 --> 00:31:42,099 OUR VERY FIRST OPENLY GAY CANDIDATE, LLOYD -- 784 00:31:42,099 --> 00:31:43,167 WHAT'S YOUR LAST NAME? 785 00:31:43,167 --> 00:31:44,468 UH, C-C-COOPER. 786 00:31:44,468 --> 00:31:45,903 LLOYD COOPER! 787 00:31:45,903 --> 00:31:49,206 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 788 00:32:07,024 --> 00:32:09,226 [ SIGHS ] HI. 789 00:32:09,226 --> 00:32:11,395 HEY. HOW WAS YOUR DAY? 790 00:32:11,395 --> 00:32:12,896 SERIOUSLY, MOM? WHAT? 791 00:32:12,896 --> 00:32:15,799 DON'T PLAY INNOCENT. I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN. 792 00:32:15,799 --> 00:32:17,968 PROM COURTS? 793 00:32:17,968 --> 00:32:19,069 YEAH. 794 00:32:19,069 --> 00:32:20,104 MOM, MOST OF THE PEOPLE AT THIS SCHOOL, 795 00:32:20,104 --> 00:32:21,038 THEY DON'T EVEN KNOW WHO I AM. 796 00:32:21,038 --> 00:32:23,107 THEY DO NOW. 797 00:32:23,107 --> 00:32:24,541 ALSO, THANKS FOR TELLING THE WHOLE SCHOOL I'M GAY. 798 00:32:24,541 --> 00:32:27,144 WELL, I JUST FIGURED. COME ON, YOU AND FITCH. 799 00:32:27,144 --> 00:32:29,346 ME AND F-- WHAT?! FITCH?! 800 00:32:29,346 --> 00:32:30,814 HE'S YOUR ONLY FRIEND. 801 00:32:30,814 --> 00:32:32,516 SO WE'RE GAY? YEAH? 802 00:32:32,516 --> 00:32:35,386 I DON'T HAVE A BOYFRIEND. I DON'T HAVE A GIRLFRIEND. 803 00:32:35,386 --> 00:32:37,554 ALL I HAVE IS THIS [SIGHS] 804 00:32:37,554 --> 00:32:39,256 CRAZY MOM. 805 00:32:39,256 --> 00:32:41,325 THAT'S ALL I HAVE. 806 00:32:41,325 --> 00:32:43,294 [ DANCE MUSIC PLAYS ] 807 00:32:43,294 --> 00:32:46,530 [ CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKING ] 808 00:32:46,530 --> 00:32:47,998 ALL RIGHT, NEXT? 809 00:32:47,998 --> 00:32:49,366 HEY. 810 00:32:49,366 --> 00:32:51,201 YES, YOU, LLOYD. 811 00:32:51,201 --> 00:32:52,870 OH, COME HERE. 812 00:32:52,870 --> 00:32:54,371 FIX THAT. 813 00:32:54,371 --> 00:32:56,140 THERE YOU GO. 814 00:32:56,140 --> 00:32:57,174 THANKS. 815 00:32:57,174 --> 00:32:58,909 HAVING FUN? 816 00:32:58,909 --> 00:33:01,578 NO, NOT REALLY. THIS ISN'T REALLY MY THING. 817 00:33:01,578 --> 00:33:03,514 YEAH. IT'S A SHIT SHOW. 818 00:33:03,514 --> 00:33:05,049 EXCUSE ME? 819 00:33:05,049 --> 00:33:06,150 OH, I MEAN, COME ON. 820 00:33:06,150 --> 00:33:08,085 PROM COURT, WINTER FORMAL COURT, SADIE'S, MORP -- 821 00:33:08,085 --> 00:33:09,853 IT'S ALL THE SAME BORING PAGEANT. 822 00:33:09,853 --> 00:33:12,189 YOU'RE NOT LIKE THE OTHER GIRLS, IF I'M NOT MISTAKEN. 823 00:33:12,189 --> 00:33:13,857 [ CHUCKLES ] NO. 824 00:33:13,857 --> 00:33:15,526 I CAN'T WAIT FOR THIS ONE TO BE DONE. 825 00:33:15,526 --> 00:33:17,428 THEN FINALLY MY CRAZY MOM MIGHT CALM DOWN. 826 00:33:17,428 --> 00:33:18,896 I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN THERE. 827 00:33:18,896 --> 00:33:21,031 MY MOM HAD A FULL-ON ANXIETY ATTACK, 828 00:33:21,031 --> 00:33:22,099 WOULDN'T ADMIT IT. 829 00:33:22,099 --> 00:33:23,867 MY MOM HATES YOUR MOM. 830 00:33:23,867 --> 00:33:25,436 I CAN'T SAY I BLAME HER FOR THAT. 831 00:33:25,436 --> 00:33:28,038 MY MOM HAS WHAT I LIKE TO CALL A "POLARIZING" PERSONALITY, 832 00:33:28,038 --> 00:33:29,840 WHICH REALLY IS JUST A NICE WAY 833 00:33:29,840 --> 00:33:31,308 OF SAYING SHE'S PROBABLY BIPOLAR. 834 00:33:31,308 --> 00:33:33,210 [ CHUCKLES ] OH. [ CHUCKLES ] IT'S NOT FUNNY. 835 00:33:33,210 --> 00:33:34,478 NO, NO, OF COURSE NOT. 836 00:33:34,478 --> 00:33:36,947 BUT IF IT MAKES YOU FEEL ANY BETTER... 837 00:33:36,947 --> 00:33:40,117 ANYONE WHO MANAGES TO PISS OFF MY MOM IS GOOD IN MY BOOK. 838 00:33:40,117 --> 00:33:41,418 ALL RIGHT. [ LAUGHS ] 839 00:33:41,418 --> 00:33:42,853 ALL RIGHT, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, 840 00:33:42,853 --> 00:33:44,254 SHOULD WE GET THIS OVER WITH? 841 00:33:44,254 --> 00:33:45,389 YES, PLEASE. 842 00:33:45,389 --> 00:33:47,358 TRY NOT TO TAKE THIS ALL SO SERIOUSLY. 843 00:33:47,358 --> 00:33:49,893 I'LL TRY. 844 00:33:49,893 --> 00:33:52,096 AND DON'T BE AFRAID TO SAY HI TO ME ON CAMPUS. 845 00:33:52,096 --> 00:33:54,331 WE'RE FRIENDS NOW. COME ON. 846 00:33:54,331 --> 00:33:55,899 Ansel: GREAT. 847 00:33:55,899 --> 00:33:57,968 TRY TO LOOK LIKE YOU'RE ENJOYING YOURSELVES. 848 00:33:59,403 --> 00:34:01,038 [ CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS ] 849 00:34:03,040 --> 00:34:05,542 [ COMPUTER CHIMES ] 850 00:34:08,312 --> 00:34:09,947 [ CHIMES ] 851 00:34:16,920 --> 00:34:19,990 [ KNOCK ON DOOR ] 852 00:34:19,990 --> 00:34:23,127 HEY. 853 00:34:23,127 --> 00:34:25,429 HEY. WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? 854 00:34:25,429 --> 00:34:27,364 YOU ASKED ME TO TALK TO HIM. 855 00:34:27,364 --> 00:34:29,967 I LIKE THE RED! 856 00:34:29,967 --> 00:34:33,804 RIGHT? [ CHUCKLES ] I LOOK GREAT, RIGHT? 857 00:34:33,804 --> 00:34:34,905 I LIKE IT. 858 00:34:34,905 --> 00:34:36,240 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? GET -- 859 00:34:36,240 --> 00:34:38,208 WOW! OKAY, ALL RI-- 860 00:34:38,208 --> 00:34:40,377 OKAY. OH, DON'T... 861 00:34:40,377 --> 00:34:41,845 WHY NOT? 862 00:34:41,845 --> 00:34:43,414 OKAY, THAT'S GOOD. THAT IS SO GOOD. 863 00:34:43,414 --> 00:34:46,350 YEAH, IT IS SO -- SO SOFT. 864 00:34:46,350 --> 00:34:48,152 OH, MY GOD. 865 00:34:48,152 --> 00:34:50,220 OKAY, ALL RIGHT. COME HERE, I'M GONNA SHOW YOU SOMETHING. 866 00:34:50,220 --> 00:34:51,288 CUT IT OUT! 867 00:34:51,288 --> 00:34:53,157 READY? 868 00:34:53,157 --> 00:34:54,491 YEAH, I'M READY. 869 00:34:54,491 --> 00:34:55,893 THIS! 870 00:34:55,893 --> 00:34:58,595 [ CHIMES ] 871 00:34:58,595 --> 00:35:00,864 IT'S A NICE PICTURE. YEAH. 872 00:35:00,864 --> 00:35:02,166 NOW I NEED SOME HOBBIES SO... 873 00:35:02,166 --> 00:35:04,401 SO HE DOESN'T SEEM LIKE SUCH A NERD. 874 00:35:04,401 --> 00:35:06,403 LIKE READING AND TV, WHAT ELSE DOES HE -- 875 00:35:06,403 --> 00:35:08,105 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 876 00:35:08,105 --> 00:35:10,908 I'M CREATING A PROFILE SO HE DOESN'T GO TO PROM ALONE. 877 00:35:10,908 --> 00:35:13,110 [ CHIMES ] YOU'RE CREATING A FAKE PROFILE 878 00:35:13,110 --> 00:35:14,878 TO PROCURE YOUNG MEN ONLINE FOR LLOYD? 879 00:35:14,878 --> 00:35:16,113 KINDA, YEAH. 880 00:35:16,113 --> 00:35:18,115 WHAT -- HAVE YOU SEEN "TO CATCH A PREDATOR"? 881 00:35:18,115 --> 00:35:20,384 IT'S NOT A FAKE PROFILE IF YOU KNOW THE PERSON. [ SCOFFS ] 882 00:35:20,384 --> 00:35:22,019 I'M JUST GONNA GO THROUGH THE BEST ONES 883 00:35:22,019 --> 00:35:23,554 AND JUST PICK SOME GUYS THAT COULD GO -- 884 00:35:23,554 --> 00:35:27,257 OKAY, DON'T TELL HIM. 885 00:35:27,257 --> 00:35:29,526 IT JUST SEEMS WRONG. 886 00:35:29,526 --> 00:35:31,295 HEY, IT'S NOT THAT WRONG. 887 00:35:33,564 --> 00:35:35,866 [ SIGHS ] I'M GONNA GO TALK TO HIM. 888 00:35:35,866 --> 00:35:38,101 [ DOOR CLOSES ] 889 00:35:38,101 --> 00:35:39,236 KNOCK KNOCK! Lloyd: YEAH? 890 00:35:39,236 --> 00:35:40,404 HAD DINNER? 891 00:35:40,404 --> 00:35:42,272 YEAH. PERFECT. 892 00:35:42,272 --> 00:35:45,442 LET'S GO OUT FOR AFTER-DINNER DRINKS. 893 00:35:45,442 --> 00:35:47,244 YOU KNOW I'M 17, RIGHT? 894 00:35:47,244 --> 00:35:50,280 IF MY SON'S NEARLY OLD ENOUGH TO BE SHIPPED OFF TO WAR, 895 00:35:50,280 --> 00:35:52,216 HE CAN HAVE A DRINK WITH HIS DAD. 896 00:35:52,216 --> 00:35:54,451 COME ON, LET'S GO. I KNOW A PLACE. 897 00:35:54,451 --> 00:35:59,156 [ ROCK MUSIC PLAYS ] 898 00:35:59,156 --> 00:36:02,292 AH, CHRISTY. GOOD EVENING. 899 00:36:02,292 --> 00:36:04,328 WHISKEY FOR ME... 900 00:36:04,328 --> 00:36:05,562 AND ONE FOR LLOYD. 901 00:36:05,562 --> 00:36:07,030 OOH. 902 00:36:07,030 --> 00:36:08,232 WE GONNA DO SHOTS? 903 00:36:08,232 --> 00:36:09,500 YEAH. 904 00:36:09,500 --> 00:36:11,902 YOU KNOW I DON'T DRINK, RIGHT? 905 00:36:11,902 --> 00:36:13,437 WELL, NOW YOU WILL. 906 00:36:13,437 --> 00:36:15,572 [ British accent ] BE A NAUGHTY BOY TONIGHT. 907 00:36:15,572 --> 00:36:18,842 YEAH, THIS IS, UH -- THIS IS THE FIRST ONE, ACTUALLY. 908 00:36:18,842 --> 00:36:21,211 THIS IS YOUR FIRST DRINK? 909 00:36:21,211 --> 00:36:22,946 YEP. 910 00:36:22,946 --> 00:36:24,248 WELL, THERE'S ALWAYS GOTTA BE A FIRST. 911 00:36:24,248 --> 00:36:25,582 SURE. 912 00:36:25,582 --> 00:36:28,218 BOTTOMS UP, COWBOYS! ALL RIGHT. 913 00:36:28,218 --> 00:36:30,420 THANK YOU, COWGIRL. 914 00:36:30,420 --> 00:36:32,189 ALL RIGHT. 915 00:36:34,391 --> 00:36:36,560 [ GAGS ] MMM! 916 00:36:36,560 --> 00:36:38,295 AHH. THAT'S A GOOD START. 917 00:36:38,295 --> 00:36:39,863 WHOO! 918 00:36:39,863 --> 00:36:41,565 COME ON, COME ON, COME ON, COME ON. 919 00:36:41,565 --> 00:36:43,500 YOU DRANK THE WHOLE THING? COME ON! 920 00:36:43,500 --> 00:36:46,370 OKAY. ALL RIGHT, OKAY. ALL RIGHT. 921 00:36:46,370 --> 00:36:50,274 WE ARE NOT LEAVING THIS BAR UNTIL YOU ARE NICE AND DRUNK. 922 00:36:50,274 --> 00:36:52,342 WHOO! 923 00:36:52,342 --> 00:36:53,844 ANOTHER ONE FOR ME. 924 00:36:53,844 --> 00:36:55,846 YOU'RE GOING FOR ANOTHER? OH, MY GOD! 925 00:36:55,846 --> 00:36:57,314 AND WE ARE GONNA TALK... 926 00:36:57,314 --> 00:36:59,816 AND DRINK, 927 00:36:59,816 --> 00:37:03,186 AND YOU ARE GONNA LOVE IT, GOD DAMN IT. 928 00:37:03,186 --> 00:37:05,489 BE RIGHT BACK. ALL RIGHT. 929 00:37:05,489 --> 00:37:08,959 [ SIGHS ] UM... 930 00:37:08,959 --> 00:37:10,160 UH, EXCUSE ME, MISS? 931 00:37:10,160 --> 00:37:13,330 YOU CAN CALL ME CHRISTY, DARLIN'. 932 00:37:13,330 --> 00:37:16,466 OKAY, UH, CHRISTY, WHEN YOU POOR OUR SHOTS, 933 00:37:16,466 --> 00:37:18,869 CAN YOU WATER MINE DOWN? 934 00:37:18,869 --> 00:37:20,537 AW, OKAY. 935 00:37:20,537 --> 00:37:23,473 LIKE, MAYBE ALL WATER? 936 00:37:23,473 --> 00:37:25,409 OKAY, HONEY. PLEASE? 937 00:37:25,409 --> 00:37:27,377 THANK YOU. 938 00:37:27,377 --> 00:37:28,879 [ MOANS ] 939 00:37:28,879 --> 00:37:31,949 SO... SO... 940 00:37:31,949 --> 00:37:34,518 ...GIVE DAD THE 411. 941 00:37:34,518 --> 00:37:36,386 NOBODY SAYS 411 ANYMORE, DAD, 942 00:37:36,386 --> 00:37:38,555 UNLESS THEY'RE ON DISNEY CHANNEL. 943 00:37:38,555 --> 00:37:41,525 ALL RIGHT, CURRENT EVENTS. 944 00:37:41,525 --> 00:37:43,026 FILL ME IN. 945 00:37:43,026 --> 00:37:46,196 LOVE, LIFE, PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS. 946 00:37:46,196 --> 00:37:50,233 WELL, STEADY AS SHE GOES, I GUESS. 947 00:37:50,233 --> 00:37:54,004 THAT'S IT? THAT'S ALL YOU'RE GIVING ME? 948 00:37:54,004 --> 00:37:55,372 COME ON [CHUCKLES] YOU CAN TALK ABOUT ANYTHING! 949 00:37:55,372 --> 00:37:57,874 YOU CAN TALK ABOUT, YOU KNOW... 950 00:37:57,874 --> 00:38:01,111 SCHOOL, FRIENDS, GRADUATION, 951 00:38:01,111 --> 00:38:03,146 LOVE LIFE... 952 00:38:03,146 --> 00:38:04,414 BOYFRIENDS. 953 00:38:04,414 --> 00:38:06,049 GOD, YOU TOO? 954 00:38:06,049 --> 00:38:07,884 DID MOM PUT YOU UP TO THIS OR SOMETHING? 955 00:38:07,884 --> 00:38:10,587 NO. ABSOLUTELY NO. 956 00:38:10,587 --> 00:38:12,089 GOOD. 957 00:38:12,089 --> 00:38:13,457 BUT, IF YOU'RE UNCOMFORTABLE... 958 00:38:13,457 --> 00:38:15,192 NO, IT'S N-- I'M NOT -- 959 00:38:15,192 --> 00:38:16,526 NO, REALLY, YOU DON'T HAVE TO TALK ABOUT IT. 960 00:38:16,526 --> 00:38:18,295 I'M NOT UNCOMFORTABLE TALKING ABOUT IT, 961 00:38:18,295 --> 00:38:19,896 I JUST -- I HATE EVERYBODY TRYING TO PUT A LABEL ON ME. 962 00:38:19,896 --> 00:38:21,598 CAN I JUST BE UNDECLARED? 963 00:38:21,598 --> 00:38:25,969 JUST YOU AND ME. 964 00:38:25,969 --> 00:38:32,275 JUST...NOTHING YOU SAY WILL EVER BE REPEATED. 965 00:38:33,844 --> 00:38:35,145 YOU DO HAVE A QUESTION. 966 00:38:35,145 --> 00:38:36,513 UH... 967 00:38:36,513 --> 00:38:39,082 SPIT 'EM. 968 00:38:39,082 --> 00:38:41,818 HOW DID YOU KNOW YOU WERE STRAIGHT? 969 00:38:41,818 --> 00:38:44,588 WELL, THAT'S A GOOD QUESTION. 970 00:38:44,588 --> 00:38:47,457 [ INHALES DEEPLY ] 971 00:38:47,457 --> 00:38:51,962 I GUESS I JUST KNEW. 972 00:38:51,962 --> 00:38:55,065 DID YOU EVER EXPERIMENT OR ANYTHING? 973 00:38:55,065 --> 00:38:58,435 GUYS HIT ON ME ALL THE TIME. I MEAN, FOR YEARS. 974 00:38:58,435 --> 00:39:00,137 REALLY? YEAH. 975 00:39:00,137 --> 00:39:03,173 I MEAN, I -- YOU KNOW, I KISSED A GUY ONCE, 976 00:39:03,173 --> 00:39:05,876 AND HE FOLLOWED ME INTO THE BATHROOM. REALLY? 977 00:39:05,876 --> 00:39:07,911 I MEAN, I DON'T KNOW, BUT NOTHING REALLY HAPPENED, 978 00:39:07,911 --> 00:39:09,312 YOU KNOW? NOTHING REALLY... 979 00:39:09,312 --> 00:39:12,315 BUT ENOUGH TO KNOW YOU DON'T LIKE IT. 980 00:39:12,315 --> 00:39:14,251 OH, I WOULDN'T SAY THAT. 981 00:39:14,251 --> 00:39:18,321 I GUESS I JUST WASN'T REALLY ATTRACTED TO GUYS. 982 00:39:18,321 --> 00:39:21,191 CAN I ASK YOU A PERSONAL QUESTION? 983 00:39:21,191 --> 00:39:23,093 WHAT GIVES YOU A BONER? 984 00:39:23,093 --> 00:39:27,064 DAD, I'M 17. EVERYTHING GIVES ME A BONER. 985 00:39:27,064 --> 00:39:29,900 A SLIGHT CHANGE IN THE WEATHER GIVES ME A BONER. 986 00:39:29,900 --> 00:39:31,568 CALCULUS GIVES ME A BONER. 987 00:39:31,568 --> 00:39:33,570 I'M NOT KIDDING! 988 00:39:33,570 --> 00:39:36,173 YOU ARE MY SON AFTER ALL. 989 00:39:36,173 --> 00:39:37,974 NOT REALLY, NOT QUITE, NO. YES, YOU ARE! YES! 990 00:39:37,974 --> 00:39:41,144 I'M -- I'M A VIRGIN. YEAH. 991 00:39:41,144 --> 00:39:43,046 WELL, I KNEW THAT. I SORT OF GUESSED THAT. 992 00:39:43,046 --> 00:39:46,349 NEVER EVEN BEEN KISSED -- BOY OR GIRL. 993 00:39:46,349 --> 00:39:48,585 NO. NOTHIN'. 994 00:39:48,585 --> 00:39:50,087 OH, MY GOD. 995 00:39:50,087 --> 00:39:54,091 BY YOUR AGE, I MEAN, JESUS. 996 00:39:54,091 --> 00:39:55,826 MAYBE I'M JUST YOUNG AND IDEALISTIC, 997 00:39:55,826 --> 00:39:58,962 BUT I-I THINK IT SHOULD MEAN... SOMETHING. 998 00:39:58,962 --> 00:40:02,365 I MEAN, I TH-- THERE'S MAYBE THREE PEOPLE I CAN THINK OF 999 00:40:02,365 --> 00:40:04,835 THAT I WOULD EVEN CONTEMPLATE SLEEPING WITH 1000 00:40:04,835 --> 00:40:09,372 WHO ARE NI-- NICE PEOPLE, ATTRACTIVE PHYSICALLY, 1001 00:40:09,372 --> 00:40:11,174 AND, YEAH, ONE OF THEM HAPPENS TO BE A GUY, 1002 00:40:11,174 --> 00:40:12,509 BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN I'M READY 1003 00:40:12,509 --> 00:40:14,144 TO JUMP INTO BED WITH HIM RIGHT AWAY. 1004 00:40:14,144 --> 00:40:19,483 I DON'T KNO-- I DON'T KNOW! I DON'T KNOW. 1005 00:40:19,483 --> 00:40:24,221 ALL RIGHT. COOL. 1006 00:40:24,221 --> 00:40:26,223 YOU'RE FINE. 1007 00:40:26,223 --> 00:40:30,127 JUST RELAX, TAKE YOUR TIME. 1008 00:40:30,127 --> 00:40:32,062 YOU'LL FIGURE IT OUT. 1009 00:40:32,062 --> 00:40:34,397 NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO OR SAY, 1010 00:40:34,397 --> 00:40:37,200 YOU'RE NOT GONNA CHANGE MY FEELINGS ABOUT YOU. 1011 00:40:37,200 --> 00:40:40,837 AND I'VE DONE SOME BAD, TERRIBLE, 1012 00:40:40,837 --> 00:40:44,107 IRRESPONSIBLE THINGS IN MY LIFE, 1013 00:40:44,107 --> 00:40:47,177 AND I-I'M NOT IN A POSITION TO JUDGE ANYONE ELSE, 1014 00:40:47,177 --> 00:40:50,313 LEAST OF ALL MY SON -- 1015 00:40:50,313 --> 00:40:55,118 OF WHO I AM VERY, VERY PROUD, BY THE WAY. 1016 00:40:55,118 --> 00:41:00,157 THANKS, DAD. THAT'S...REALLY GOOD TO HEAR. 1017 00:41:02,325 --> 00:41:05,061 [ BIRD CHIRPING ] 1018 00:41:29,319 --> 00:41:32,022 YES! MOM! 1019 00:41:32,022 --> 00:41:33,824 I'M IN HERE! MOM, MOM, MOM, COME HERE! 1020 00:41:33,824 --> 00:41:35,225 [ YELPS ] YAHOO! 1021 00:41:35,225 --> 00:41:36,560 LOOK! LOOK, LOOK, LOOK, LOOK! 1022 00:41:36,560 --> 00:41:37,994 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 1023 00:41:37,994 --> 00:41:38,962 LOOK, LOOK, LOOK! IT'S HERE! 1024 00:41:38,962 --> 00:41:39,963 WHAT IS THAT? READ IT. 1025 00:41:39,963 --> 00:41:41,164 [ SCREAMS ] RIGHT? 1026 00:41:41,164 --> 00:41:43,099 MY GOD! 1027 00:41:43,099 --> 00:41:44,568 YEAH, YOU DID! 1028 00:41:44,568 --> 00:41:46,369 WE HAVE A GOOD CHANCE AT THE SCHOLARSHIP, RIGHT? 1029 00:41:46,369 --> 00:41:49,272 OF COURSE. YES. YEAH, WE'LL MAKE IT WORK. YES. OH, GOD! 1030 00:41:49,272 --> 00:41:50,540 OH, I'M SO PROUD OF YOU! 1031 00:41:50,540 --> 00:41:52,042 OH, I NEED TO GET YOU SOME LUGGAGE! 1032 00:41:52,042 --> 00:41:53,376 I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU. ALL RIGHT? 1033 00:41:53,376 --> 00:41:55,312 I LOVE YOU, TOO. OH, I LOVE YOU SO MUCH! 1034 00:41:55,312 --> 00:41:57,347 I LOVE YOU SO MUCH! I'M SO PROUD! YEAH! 1035 00:41:57,347 --> 00:41:58,582 SO PROUD! 1036 00:41:58,582 --> 00:42:01,218 [ LAUGHS ] 1037 00:42:05,188 --> 00:42:06,957 SO THAT'S IT. THAT'S HIS COLLEGE, 1038 00:42:06,957 --> 00:42:09,159 AND YOU GOTTA TRUST ME, AND YOU CAN'T GET WEIRD. 1039 00:42:09,159 --> 00:42:11,595 JUST GO WITH WHAT I DO. IT'S GONNA BE FUN! 1040 00:42:11,595 --> 00:42:13,196 IS THERE BOOZE IN HERE? 1041 00:42:13,196 --> 00:42:15,131 HI! WELCOME TO TIN HORN FLATS. HOW MANY? 1042 00:42:15,131 --> 00:42:16,466 OH, TABLE FOR FOUR, PLEASE. 1043 00:42:16,466 --> 00:42:17,901 YOU GOT IT. THREE. 1044 00:42:17,901 --> 00:42:20,170 RIGHT THIS WAY. WE'RE ACTUALLY FOUR. 1045 00:42:20,170 --> 00:42:23,340 WHAT? NO. WHO? WHAT? WHO'S THE FOURTH? 1046 00:42:23,340 --> 00:42:25,876 JUST...NOTHIN'. WE HAVE FOUR PEOPLE TONIGHT. 1047 00:42:25,876 --> 00:42:26,977 MAGGIE... 1048 00:42:26,977 --> 00:42:28,812 WHO'S THE FOURTH? 1049 00:42:28,812 --> 00:42:30,080 JUST A FRIEND. 1050 00:42:30,080 --> 00:42:31,214 WHO? 1051 00:42:31,214 --> 00:42:33,149 THEY STACK ONION RINGS HERE. 1052 00:42:33,149 --> 00:42:35,051 HEY. HI. 1053 00:42:35,051 --> 00:42:36,987 AWW, MY FUTURE EAST COAST RESIDENT. 1054 00:42:36,987 --> 00:42:38,154 HOWDY. Max: HI. 1055 00:42:38,154 --> 00:42:40,223 HI. WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO WAIT FOR YOUR WHOLE PARTY 1056 00:42:40,223 --> 00:42:42,158 TO ARRIVE BEFORE I TAKE YOUR ORDER? 1057 00:42:42,158 --> 00:42:43,093 WELL, WHY DON'T WE JUST GET SOME ONION RINGS? 1058 00:42:43,093 --> 00:42:44,427 THE BIG TALL STACK OF THEM, 1059 00:42:44,427 --> 00:42:47,163 AND, UM, COULD YOU GET ME A MARGARITA? 1060 00:42:47,163 --> 00:42:48,298 A, JUST -- DO YOU HAVE, UH, TWO SIZES? 1061 00:42:48,298 --> 00:42:49,933 YEAH. OKAY, I'LL HAVE THE VENTI. 1062 00:42:49,933 --> 00:42:51,968 THE LARGE. YEAH. THANK YOU. 1063 00:42:51,968 --> 00:42:53,136 GOT IT, RIGHT AWAY. 1064 00:42:53,136 --> 00:42:54,337 IS THERE SOMEONE ELSE COMING? 1065 00:42:54,337 --> 00:42:56,139 JUST A FRIEND IS COMING TO JOIN US. 1066 00:42:56,139 --> 00:42:57,207 YEAH, AND I JUST WANNA SAY 1067 00:42:57,207 --> 00:42:58,942 THAT I DIDN'T HAVE ANYTHING TO DO 1068 00:42:58,942 --> 00:43:00,944 WITH ORCHESTRATING THE EVENTS THAT ARE ABOUT TO OCCUR. 1069 00:43:00,944 --> 00:43:04,314 I JUST CAME HERE TO CELEBRATE YOU GETTING INTO NYU. 1070 00:43:04,314 --> 00:43:06,850 MAGGIE, HELLO, DARLING. YOU MUST BE DAD. 1071 00:43:06,850 --> 00:43:09,152 [ GASPS ] AND THIS MUST BE LLOYD. 1072 00:43:09,152 --> 00:43:11,121 HELLO. YEAH, HI. 1073 00:43:11,121 --> 00:43:12,255 PARKER. LOVELY TO MEET YOU. 1074 00:43:12,255 --> 00:43:13,924 HI, PARKER. 1075 00:43:13,924 --> 00:43:16,293 DO YOU WANNA ASK, UM, PARKER 1076 00:43:16,293 --> 00:43:19,095 ABOUT, UH, WHERE HE GOES TO SCHOOL 1077 00:43:19,095 --> 00:43:21,364 OR, UM, WHO CUTS HIS HAIR? 1078 00:43:21,364 --> 00:43:22,565 [ CLEARS THROAT ] 1079 00:43:22,565 --> 00:43:24,034 WELL, I GO TO FIDM, 1080 00:43:24,034 --> 00:43:26,336 AND I GET MY HAIR CUT AT CHOP CHOP SALON. 1081 00:43:26,336 --> 00:43:27,938 WHAT ABOUT YOU? 1082 00:43:27,938 --> 00:43:29,339 UM... 1083 00:43:29,339 --> 00:43:31,942 I CUT HIS HAIR. 1084 00:43:31,942 --> 00:43:34,244 OH! [ GIGGLES ] THAT'S NICE. [ CHUCKLES ] 1085 00:43:34,244 --> 00:43:36,012 ON FRIDAY, HE DID HIS OWN BANGS. 1086 00:43:36,012 --> 00:43:37,314 [ CLEARS THROAT ] 1087 00:43:37,314 --> 00:43:38,915 ALL RIGHT. UM, WELL, 1088 00:43:38,915 --> 00:43:40,350 I THINK I'M JUST GONNA HEAD OVER TO THE RESTROOM 1089 00:43:40,350 --> 00:43:42,018 AND WASH MY HANDS BEFORE WE HAVE DINNER. 1090 00:43:42,018 --> 00:43:42,953 BUT YOU'RE COMING BACK, RIGHT? 1091 00:43:42,953 --> 00:43:44,387 SURE, MM-HMM. 1092 00:43:45,855 --> 00:43:47,390 IS THIS SOME KIND OF FIX-UP DATE? 1093 00:43:47,390 --> 00:43:50,827 NO, IT IS JUST A GATHERING OF FRIENDS. 1094 00:43:50,827 --> 00:43:52,162 THAT'S IT. 1095 00:43:52,162 --> 00:43:53,229 NO. I'M OUT OF HERE. NO! 1096 00:43:53,229 --> 00:43:54,931 YOU CAN MAKE UP WHATEVER EXCUSE YOU WANT, 1097 00:43:54,931 --> 00:43:56,132 I'M LEAVING. I'LL SEE YOU LATER, DAD. 1098 00:43:56,132 --> 00:43:57,500 LLOYD, PLEASE, JUST A SECOND! 1099 00:43:57,500 --> 00:44:00,403 LLOYD, SCHOLARSHIP, PLEASE! THE SCHOLARSHIP. 1100 00:44:00,403 --> 00:44:02,405 Just come here. 1101 00:44:02,405 --> 00:44:03,974 JUST COME HERE. 1102 00:44:03,974 --> 00:44:06,009 THE SCHOLARSHIP REP 1103 00:44:06,009 --> 00:44:08,812 IS GOING TO ASK YOU QUESTIONS ABOUT YOUR GAY EXPERIENCE. 1104 00:44:08,812 --> 00:44:11,982 I MEAN, DO YOU EVEN HAVE ANY GAY FRIENDS? 1105 00:44:11,982 --> 00:44:15,151 YOU'VE GOT TO KNOW SOMETHING ABOUT THE GAY LIFESTYLE. 1106 00:44:15,151 --> 00:44:19,222 PARKER, I'M SURE, IS FILLED WITH LOTS OF INSIGHTS. 1107 00:44:19,222 --> 00:44:20,123 PLEASE, WILL YOU SIT, PLEASE? 1108 00:44:20,123 --> 00:44:21,825 Just sit down. 1109 00:44:21,825 --> 00:44:24,928 [ GROANS ] 1110 00:44:24,928 --> 00:44:26,563 ALL RIGHT. 1111 00:44:29,232 --> 00:44:31,801 HOW BAD COULD IT GET, RIGHT? 1112 00:44:31,801 --> 00:44:35,305 I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT CAME OVER MITCHELL THE OTHER DAY. 1113 00:44:35,305 --> 00:44:37,273 I MEAN, IT'S NOT LIKE WE'RE EVEN SERIOUSLY DATING. 1114 00:44:37,273 --> 00:44:39,342 IT'S NOT MY FAULT HE LIKES TO BUY ME EXPENSIVE THINGS, OKAY? 1115 00:44:39,342 --> 00:44:41,244 I MEAN, I FEEL LIKE I'M A PRETTY CHILL GUY. 1116 00:44:41,244 --> 00:44:43,079 SO THEN I JUST SAID TO MYSELF, "PARKER, 1117 00:44:43,079 --> 00:44:45,448 "WHAT ARE YOU SO AFRAID OF? 1118 00:44:45,448 --> 00:44:47,917 "GUYS ARE SUCH DRAMA QUEENS. 1119 00:44:47,917 --> 00:44:50,320 TAKE A DEEP BREATH," AND I JUST SAID, 1120 00:44:50,320 --> 00:44:51,855 "CHOP IT ALL OFF. 1121 00:44:51,855 --> 00:44:53,390 JUST CHOP THIS NAPPY WEAVE RIGHT OFF MY HEAD." 1122 00:44:53,390 --> 00:44:54,991 I'M REALLY EASYGOING. 1123 00:44:54,991 --> 00:44:56,459 I'M ALL ABOUT THE LOW-MAINTENANCE, YOU KNOW? 1124 00:44:56,459 --> 00:44:58,061 YEAH, YOU SE-- YOU SEEM VERY LOW-MAINTENANCE. 1125 00:44:58,061 --> 00:45:00,897 THAT IS SO CUTE HOW AWKWARD HE IS! 1126 00:45:00,897 --> 00:45:02,065 AW! 1127 00:45:02,065 --> 00:45:03,433 IF YOU NEED ANY SUPPORT 1128 00:45:03,433 --> 00:45:05,969 OR ADVICE, I'M HERE FOR YOU. 1129 00:45:05,969 --> 00:45:08,071 I'M INTO REALLY MASCULINE GUYS, 1130 00:45:08,071 --> 00:45:10,106 LIKE, REALLY MANLY GUYS. 1131 00:45:10,106 --> 00:45:11,908 REALLY MANLY GUYS. 1132 00:45:11,908 --> 00:45:13,176 LIKE, IF I WANTED TO DATE A GIRL, I WOULD. 1133 00:45:13,176 --> 00:45:14,878 EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE, 1134 00:45:14,878 --> 00:45:16,312 I FIND MYSELF ATTRACTED 1135 00:45:16,312 --> 00:45:19,149 TO SOMEBODY A LITTLE BIT MORE...ANDROGYNOUS. 1136 00:45:19,149 --> 00:45:20,950 [ DRINK CRASHES ] OH, JESUS! 1137 00:45:20,950 --> 00:45:22,052 DAD! MY GOD! 1138 00:45:22,052 --> 00:45:24,187 REALLY? I DON'T KNOW. 1139 00:45:24,187 --> 00:45:25,855 I- HE BETTER GO TO THE BATHROOM. 1140 00:45:25,855 --> 00:45:26,923 YEAH. 1141 00:45:26,923 --> 00:45:28,858 I'LL HELP HIM. 1142 00:45:28,858 --> 00:45:30,126 GEEZ. 1143 00:45:30,126 --> 00:45:31,461 OH, MY GOD, I HAD NO IDEA 1144 00:45:31,461 --> 00:45:33,096 HOW ELSE TO GET YOU OUT OF THAT THING. 1145 00:45:33,096 --> 00:45:34,898 YOU COULD'VE JUST ASKED ME TO EXCUSE MYSELF. 1146 00:45:34,898 --> 00:45:37,233 WELL, OKAY, MAYBE THAT WOULD'VE BEEN A GOOD IDEA BACK THEN, 1147 00:45:37,233 --> 00:45:38,401 BUT I DIDN'T DO THAT. 1148 00:45:38,401 --> 00:45:41,071 SO THERE. HERE. THANKS. 1149 00:45:41,071 --> 00:45:43,873 "HI, PARKER." "WHO ARE YOU?" "I'M PARKER." 1150 00:45:43,873 --> 00:45:45,575 OOH-OOH-OOH! 1151 00:45:45,575 --> 00:45:47,844 I FEEL DUMBER FOR HAVING SAT THROUGH THAT WHOLE THING. 1152 00:45:47,844 --> 00:45:49,212 MY GOD, SHE'S INSANE! 1153 00:45:49,212 --> 00:45:51,448 THIS IS BEAUTIFUL. MAYBE I SHOULD TAKE IT. 1154 00:45:51,448 --> 00:45:53,983 COME ON, BE SERIOUS. WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO? 1155 00:45:53,983 --> 00:45:55,585 YOU WANNA GET OUT OF HERE? 1156 00:45:55,585 --> 00:45:58,455 YEAH! BUT IF WE TRIED ANYTHING, SHE'D HANDCUFF US TO THE BOOTH. 1157 00:45:58,455 --> 00:46:01,458 JUST HOW DESPERATELY DO YOU WANNA GET OUT OF HERE? 1158 00:46:04,294 --> 00:46:05,862 [ CHOKING ] Maggie: WHAT'S GOING ON? 1159 00:46:05,862 --> 00:46:07,130 Max: ARE YOU CHOKING? ARE YOU OKAY? 1160 00:46:07,130 --> 00:46:08,598 OH, MY GOD. NEED THE HEIMLICH? 1161 00:46:08,598 --> 00:46:10,900 HE CAN SPEAK! WHAT? THE BURGER? 1162 00:46:10,900 --> 00:46:11,935 PINEAPPLE! 1163 00:46:11,935 --> 00:46:12,869 SO? PINEAPPLE? 1164 00:46:12,869 --> 00:46:14,838 HE'S ALLERGIC TO PINEAPPLE! 1165 00:46:14,838 --> 00:46:16,239 HE'S NOT ALLERGIC TO PINEAPPLE! 1166 00:46:16,239 --> 00:46:17,574 I BETTER TAKE HIM TO THE HOSPITAL. 1167 00:46:17,574 --> 00:46:20,009 OH, MAN. I'LL RUSH HIM TO THE HOSPITAL. 1168 00:46:20,009 --> 00:46:21,144 RIGHT. 1169 00:46:21,144 --> 00:46:23,179 THIS IS BAD! I'LL CALL YOU. 1170 00:46:23,179 --> 00:46:26,015 [ SLURPS ] 1171 00:46:26,015 --> 00:46:27,417 OH, MY GOD! 1172 00:46:27,417 --> 00:46:30,420 [ BURPS ] 1173 00:46:30,420 --> 00:46:32,188 THANKS FOR GETTING ME OUT OF THAT. 1174 00:46:32,188 --> 00:46:34,891 DON'T KID YOURSELF, YOU OWE ME $2.50. 1175 00:46:34,891 --> 00:46:36,559 WH-- FOR GETTING ME OUT OF THE DATE? 1176 00:46:36,559 --> 00:46:39,129 AND INTEREST. YOU WERE EYEING THE STEAK KNIFE. 1177 00:46:39,129 --> 00:46:40,396 YEAH, I KNOW. I JUST -- 1178 00:46:40,396 --> 00:46:42,098 I THOUGHT SHE KNEW ME BETTER THAN THAT. 1179 00:46:42,098 --> 00:46:44,033 WRONG AGAIN. 1180 00:46:44,033 --> 00:46:45,368 HEY YOU! [ LAUGHS ] HEY! 1181 00:46:45,368 --> 00:46:47,537 FANCY SEEING YOU HERE. 1182 00:46:47,537 --> 00:46:49,472 HEY, UH, CARRIE, THIS IS MY DAD, MAX. 1183 00:46:49,472 --> 00:46:50,874 HI, NICE TO MEET YOU. 1184 00:46:50,874 --> 00:46:51,975 NICE TO MEET YOU. 1185 00:46:51,975 --> 00:46:53,309 DAMN, YOU GOT A HOT DAD, LLOYD. 1186 00:46:53,309 --> 00:46:54,978 THAT'S... NOT WEIRD AT ALL. 1187 00:46:54,978 --> 00:46:57,480 I JUST MEAN I CAN SEE WHERE YOU GET YOUR GOOD LOOKS FROM. 1188 00:46:57,480 --> 00:46:58,982 AH. 1189 00:46:58,982 --> 00:47:00,884 THE GIRLS AND I WERE JUST HEADED TO THE BAR. 1190 00:47:00,884 --> 00:47:03,119 WHY? PEGGY KNOWS THE BARTENDER. 1191 00:47:03,119 --> 00:47:05,255 WE WERE GONNA FLIRT WITH HIM, TRY TO GET SOME FREE DRINKS. 1192 00:47:05,255 --> 00:47:06,222 DOES THAT REALLY WORK? 1193 00:47:06,222 --> 00:47:07,924 LLOYD. COME ON! 1194 00:47:07,924 --> 00:47:10,126 A GROUP OF PRETTY GIRLS? IT'S NOT THAT HARD. 1195 00:47:10,126 --> 00:47:12,262 OH, ALL RIGHT. DO YOU WANNA COME WITH US? 1196 00:47:12,262 --> 00:47:13,997 NO, I'M ACTUALLY -- 1197 00:47:13,997 --> 00:47:16,399 I'M GONNA HANG OUT WITH MY DAD TONIGHT. 1198 00:47:16,399 --> 00:47:18,835 OH, OKAY. WELL, UH, IF YOU WANNA JOIN, 1199 00:47:18,835 --> 00:47:22,105 WE'LL BE OVER THERE GETTING DRUNK, 1200 00:47:22,105 --> 00:47:24,207 SO STOP BY, MAYBE? 1201 00:47:24,207 --> 00:47:26,209 MAYBE. 1202 00:47:26,209 --> 00:47:27,911 OKAY. THINK ABOUT IT. ALL RIGHT. 1203 00:47:27,911 --> 00:47:29,245 BYE, LLOYD. NICE TO MEET YOU, DAD. 1204 00:47:29,245 --> 00:47:30,280 NICE TO MEET YOU. 1205 00:47:30,280 --> 00:47:32,182 BYE, CARRIE. 1206 00:47:32,182 --> 00:47:33,416 Young woman: HE'S REALLY CUTE. [ LAUGHS ] 1207 00:47:33,416 --> 00:47:35,418 YOU SURE? 1208 00:47:35,418 --> 00:47:37,253 YEAH, IT'S FINE. I'LL SEE HER AT SCHOOL. 1209 00:47:37,253 --> 00:47:38,588 SHE'S HOT. 1210 00:47:38,588 --> 00:47:40,590 DAD, COME ON. WHAT? 1211 00:47:40,590 --> 00:47:43,059 IT'S A LITTLE CREEPY. 1212 00:47:43,059 --> 00:47:46,095 NOT -- IT'S NOT ABOUT ME, IT'S ALL ABOUT YOU. 1213 00:47:46,095 --> 00:47:48,031 EYES ONLY FOR YOU. 1214 00:47:48,031 --> 00:47:49,566 OH, COME ON. 1215 00:47:49,566 --> 00:47:51,935 YEAH. NO! 1216 00:47:51,935 --> 00:47:53,036 THE WAY SHE LOOKED AT YOU, 1217 00:47:53,036 --> 00:47:55,104 SHE TOUCHED YOU. 1218 00:47:55,104 --> 00:47:56,573 OKAY, SO? 1219 00:47:56,573 --> 00:47:59,108 NO, A-A CASUAL TOUCH BY A GIRL IS NEVER BY ACCIDENT. 1220 00:47:59,108 --> 00:48:01,277 YOU'RE CRAZY. I AM NOT CRAZY. 1221 00:48:01,277 --> 00:48:04,380 YOU THINK I DON'T KNOW GIRLS? I'M PRETTY GOOD WITH THE GIRLS. 1222 00:48:04,380 --> 00:48:06,282 ARE YOU TRYING TO STRAIGHTEN ME OUT? 1223 00:48:06,282 --> 00:48:08,384 NO. 1224 00:48:08,384 --> 00:48:10,353 I'M JUST, MAYBE, HELPING YOU 1225 00:48:10,353 --> 00:48:13,289 BECOME A MORE COMPLETE VERSION OF YOURSELF. 1226 00:48:13,289 --> 00:48:14,824 CAN WE GET OUT OF HERE? 1227 00:48:14,824 --> 00:48:16,826 YEAH. YOU WANNA GO HOME? 1228 00:48:16,826 --> 00:48:19,529 NO! I DON'T WANNA GO HOME, ANYWHERE BUT HOME. 1229 00:48:22,332 --> 00:48:24,500 [ CRICKETS CHIRPING ] 1230 00:48:29,105 --> 00:48:31,808 WOW. 1231 00:48:31,808 --> 00:48:34,110 I LOVE COMING BACK HERE, SON. 1232 00:48:34,110 --> 00:48:36,346 MM. IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME. 1233 00:48:36,346 --> 00:48:39,449 USED TO SMOKE WEED BACK THERE IN BETWEEN PERIODS. 1234 00:48:39,449 --> 00:48:41,985 YEAH? YEAH. 1235 00:48:41,985 --> 00:48:43,853 I'LL DITCH CLASS SOMETIMES. 1236 00:48:43,853 --> 00:48:46,422 I'LL SIT AT THE BENCH BY THE SOCCER FIELDS. 1237 00:48:46,422 --> 00:48:48,124 YOU DITCH CLASS? 1238 00:48:48,124 --> 00:48:49,892 YEAH. I READ, BUT, YEAH. 1239 00:48:49,892 --> 00:48:51,427 REALLY? YEAH. 1240 00:48:51,427 --> 00:48:53,997 OH, WOW, THIS IS WHERE YOUR MOTHER WOULD EAT LUNCH 1241 00:48:53,997 --> 00:48:55,231 WITH HER FRIENDS EVERY DAY. 1242 00:48:55,231 --> 00:48:56,466 HUH. 1243 00:48:56,466 --> 00:48:58,401 THAT, RIGHT THERE, IS THE TREE 1244 00:48:58,401 --> 00:49:00,536 YOU SIT UNDER IF YOU WANNA GET POOPED ON BY SQUIRRELS. 1245 00:49:00,536 --> 00:49:02,438 WELL, THAT'S KINDA WHAT IT WAS LIKE, 1246 00:49:02,438 --> 00:49:04,207 UH, ROMANCING YOUR MOTHER. 1247 00:49:04,207 --> 00:49:06,843 [ CHUCKLES ] 1248 00:49:06,843 --> 00:49:08,444 WHAT'S THE MEANEST THING YOU EVER DID IN HIGH SCHOOL? 1249 00:49:08,444 --> 00:49:11,381 ISN'T EVERYBODY A JERK IN HIGH SCHOOL? 1250 00:49:11,381 --> 00:49:14,917 BEING MEAN, IT SOMEHOW EQUATES WITH BEING COOL. 1251 00:49:16,953 --> 00:49:19,422 EVERYBODY'S SO LOST AND STUPID. 1252 00:49:19,422 --> 00:49:21,924 YOU THINK WE WOULD'VE BEEN FRIENDS IN HIGH SCHOOL? 1253 00:49:21,924 --> 00:49:23,293 YOU AND ME? 1254 00:49:23,293 --> 00:49:25,328 YEAH. BE HONEST. 1255 00:49:25,328 --> 00:49:27,130 PROBABLY NOT, HUH? 1256 00:49:27,130 --> 00:49:28,431 YEAH, I DON'T THINK SO, EITHER. 1257 00:49:28,431 --> 00:49:29,966 WELL, I WAS JUST SUCH A JERK, YOU KNOW? 1258 00:49:29,966 --> 00:49:34,304 I WOULDN'T EVEN HAVE DESERVED TO BE YOUR FRIEND. 1259 00:49:34,304 --> 00:49:36,005 IT'S OKAY. 1260 00:49:36,005 --> 00:49:38,141 I'M NOT OFFENDED THAT YOU WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN 1261 00:49:38,141 --> 00:49:39,342 MY HYPOTHETICAL FRIEND. 1262 00:49:39,342 --> 00:49:42,545 DON'T MAKE A JOKE ABOUT IT. I'M SERIOUS. 1263 00:49:42,545 --> 00:49:45,915 YOU'RE A MUCH BETTER PERSON THAN I WAS IN HIGH SCHOOL. 1264 00:49:45,915 --> 00:49:48,851 YOU'RE MORE THOUGHTFUL. YOU'RE MORE MATURE. 1265 00:49:48,851 --> 00:49:51,921 HELL, YOU'RE A BETTER PERSON THAN I AM AS AN ADULT. 1266 00:49:51,921 --> 00:49:54,891 AND YOU REALLY OUGHT TO STOP BEING SELF-DEPRECATING. 1267 00:49:54,891 --> 00:49:56,926 YOU JUST USE IT AS ARMOR. 1268 00:49:56,926 --> 00:49:59,329 I-I'M SORRY. I DIDN'T MEAN TO GET YOU ALL WORKED UP. 1269 00:49:59,329 --> 00:50:03,132 [ SIGHS HEAVILY ] 1270 00:50:03,132 --> 00:50:06,536 YOU KNOW... 1271 00:50:06,536 --> 00:50:08,504 COULD YOU DO ME A FAVOR? 1272 00:50:08,504 --> 00:50:13,810 THE NEXT TIME SOMEBODY OPENS UP TO YOU, 1273 00:50:13,810 --> 00:50:16,846 DON'T THINK ABOUT THEIR INTENTIONS... 1274 00:50:16,846 --> 00:50:21,584 OR WHERE IT MAY BE GOING OR HOW IT MIGHT END. 1275 00:50:21,584 --> 00:50:24,821 EVEN THOUGH YOU MIGHT BE EMBARRASSED BY IT, 1276 00:50:24,821 --> 00:50:28,825 JUST PUT YOURSELF OUT THERE. 1277 00:50:28,825 --> 00:50:32,228 YOU KNOW, YOU REALLY ARE A PERSON WORTH KNOWING. 1278 00:50:32,228 --> 00:50:34,263 YOU REALLY ARE. 1279 00:50:34,263 --> 00:50:36,299 MM. 1280 00:50:36,299 --> 00:50:38,801 YEAH. 1281 00:50:40,436 --> 00:50:43,306 [ SIGHS ] 1282 00:50:51,347 --> 00:50:52,915 HE'S NOT HERE YET, HUH? 1283 00:50:52,915 --> 00:50:54,884 WHAT? HOW DID YOU FIND ME? 1284 00:50:54,884 --> 00:50:56,586 WHAT? I'M YOUR MOTHER. I KNOW WHERE YOU ARE AT ALL TIMES. 1285 00:50:56,586 --> 00:50:57,820 I'D LOVE TO TELL YOU TO LEAVE, 1286 00:50:57,820 --> 00:50:59,021 BUT I KNOW THAT YOU WON'T, 1287 00:50:59,021 --> 00:51:01,124 SO, PLEASE, JUST STAY QUIET, OKAY? 1288 00:51:01,124 --> 00:51:02,558 DON'T GET INVOLVED. PLEASE? 1289 00:51:02,558 --> 00:51:04,260 YES, I WILL. THANK YOU. 1290 00:51:04,260 --> 00:51:05,962 OKAY. DON'T FORGET YOU'RE IN THE CHOIR, 1291 00:51:05,962 --> 00:51:07,230 YOU'RE IN THE DRAMA CLUB, 1292 00:51:07,230 --> 00:51:09,399 AND YOU'RE A HUGE, ESSENTIAL PART OF THIS ENTIRE HIGH SCHOOL. 1293 00:51:09,399 --> 00:51:11,367 AND IF THERE'S A HELL, I'LL BE GOING THERE FOR THIS. 1294 00:51:11,367 --> 00:51:13,035 LISTEN TO ME. HUH? 1295 00:51:13,035 --> 00:51:15,838 YOU'RE IN THE HOMESTRETCH, OKAY? 1296 00:51:15,838 --> 00:51:17,573 YOUR GRADES GOT YOU HERE. 1297 00:51:17,573 --> 00:51:20,309 YOU JUST HAVE TO CONVINCE DEREK OF YOUR EXEMPLARY CHARACTER. 1298 00:51:20,309 --> 00:51:22,211 YES, YES. I DO. I HAVE TO CONVINCE HIM. 1299 00:51:22,211 --> 00:51:23,446 YES. NOT WE, ME. 1300 00:51:23,446 --> 00:51:25,214 OKAY. ALL RIGHT. OKAY. 1301 00:51:25,214 --> 00:51:26,549 SO THEN HAVE YOU THOUGHT ABOUT WHAT YOU'RE GONNA SAY 1302 00:51:26,549 --> 00:51:27,583 ABOUT YOUR EXPERIENCES AS A GAY MAN? 1303 00:51:27,583 --> 00:51:30,086 LLOYD? YES! 1304 00:51:30,086 --> 00:51:32,121 YES. UH, THANK YOU, MA'AM, THAT'S ALL THE HELP I'LL NEED. 1305 00:51:32,121 --> 00:51:32,922 DON'T CALL ME MA'AM. 1306 00:51:32,922 --> 00:51:34,090 HI. 1307 00:51:34,090 --> 00:51:35,324 HI, I'M DEREK FROM THE POINT FOUNDATION. 1308 00:51:35,324 --> 00:51:36,526 HI, IT'S NICE TO MEET YOU. 1309 00:51:36,526 --> 00:51:38,327 SO, WHAT IS IT LIKE GROWING UP 1310 00:51:38,327 --> 00:51:40,830 OUT AND GAY IN VENICE? 1311 00:51:40,830 --> 00:51:43,466 UH, SORRY, WHAT? 1312 00:51:43,466 --> 00:51:45,067 HOW DO KIDS HERE TREAT YOU 1313 00:51:45,067 --> 00:51:47,804 WHEN THEY KNOW YOU'RE GAY AND OPEN ABOUT IT? 1314 00:51:47,804 --> 00:51:49,205 UM... 1315 00:51:49,205 --> 00:51:52,141 WELL, I DON-- I DON'T KNOW IF IT'S JUST THAT I'M, 1316 00:51:52,141 --> 00:51:53,376 UM, A SHY PERSONALITY 1317 00:51:53,376 --> 00:51:54,977 OR IF IT'S THIS DEFENSE MECHANISM 1318 00:51:54,977 --> 00:51:57,547 BUT, UH, I'VE SURVIVED SCHOOL 1319 00:51:57,547 --> 00:52:01,517 BY NOT PUTTING MYSELF IN UNCOMFORTABLE SITUATIONS. 1320 00:52:01,517 --> 00:52:04,387 UM, IT'S -- IT'S ONLY BEEN RECENTLY THAT I'VE, 1321 00:52:04,387 --> 00:52:07,023 UH, REALLY LET PEOPLE GET TO KNOW ME, 1322 00:52:07,023 --> 00:52:10,293 YOU KNOW, P-PUT MYSELF OUT THERE TO BE JUDGED. 1323 00:52:10,293 --> 00:52:14,363 UM, IT'S SCARY, YOU KNOW, 1324 00:52:14,363 --> 00:52:16,466 IT'S REALLY SCARY, BUT, UH, 1325 00:52:16,466 --> 00:52:18,868 I'VE BEEN REALLY SURPRISED 1326 00:52:18,868 --> 00:52:22,138 BY THE INHERENT KINDNESS IN PEOPLE. 1327 00:52:22,138 --> 00:52:23,840 THAT'S WONDERFUL. 1328 00:52:23,840 --> 00:52:26,242 TO SEE A YOUNG PERSON WHO KNOWS WHO THEY ARE 1329 00:52:26,242 --> 00:52:28,144 AND CAN SPEAK PROUDLY ABOUT IT. 1330 00:52:28,144 --> 00:52:29,879 THAT'S EXACTLY THE TYPE OF PERSON 1331 00:52:29,879 --> 00:52:31,547 OUR SCHOLARSHIP IS SEEKING OUT. 1332 00:52:31,547 --> 00:52:34,016 ALL THAT'S LEFT IS A VISIT TO YOUR ADMINISTRATORS, 1333 00:52:34,016 --> 00:52:36,586 JUST TO LEARN ABOUT YOUR LEADERSHIP SKILLS, 1334 00:52:36,586 --> 00:52:38,321 AND WE'D LIKE TO GET AN IDEA 1335 00:52:38,321 --> 00:52:40,857 OF WHAT YOUR FELLOW STUDENTS THINK OF YOU. 1336 00:52:40,857 --> 00:52:42,058 MY -- MY FELLOW STUDENTS? 1337 00:52:42,058 --> 00:52:43,526 I SHOULDN'T BE TELLING YOU THIS, 1338 00:52:43,526 --> 00:52:46,429 BUT YOU'RE LOOKING PRETTY GOOD FOR THE SCHOLARSHIP. 1339 00:52:46,429 --> 00:52:49,532 THAT'S GREAT. THANK YOU. 1340 00:52:49,532 --> 00:52:51,534 SO, WHAT UPCOMING EVENTS ARE THERE? 1341 00:52:51,534 --> 00:52:54,237 WELL, UM... 1342 00:52:54,237 --> 00:52:58,107 I SUPPOSE... 1343 00:52:58,107 --> 00:53:00,376 PROM! 1344 00:53:02,378 --> 00:53:03,946 [ CHUCKLES ] 1345 00:53:03,946 --> 00:53:05,114 HELLO. 1346 00:53:05,114 --> 00:53:06,215 HI. 1347 00:53:06,215 --> 00:53:07,416 I'M LLOYD'S MOM. 1348 00:53:07,416 --> 00:53:08,518 OH! 1349 00:53:08,518 --> 00:53:10,052 I'M MAGGIE. 1350 00:53:10,052 --> 00:53:11,554 NO, DON'T COME AROUND! OH, SHE'S COMING AROUND. 1351 00:53:11,554 --> 00:53:12,855 HI, THERE. NICE TO MEET YOU. 1352 00:53:12,855 --> 00:53:14,390 OH, LET'S JUST HUG IT OUT. AM I WRONG? 1353 00:53:14,390 --> 00:53:16,559 [ CHUCKLES ] HERE'S THE THING. 1354 00:53:16,559 --> 00:53:18,928 LLOYD IS TOO SHY TO TELL YOU, 1355 00:53:18,928 --> 00:53:21,531 BUT HE HAS BEEN NOMINATED AS PROM KING. 1356 00:53:21,531 --> 00:53:23,566 AND I THINK HE'S GONNA WIN. 1357 00:53:23,566 --> 00:53:25,067 [ CHUCKLES ] 1358 00:53:25,067 --> 00:53:26,969 I-IT'S ALL SET THEN, LLOYD. I'LL SEE YOU AT PROM. 1359 00:53:26,969 --> 00:53:27,970 ALL RIGHT. OKAY. 1360 00:53:27,970 --> 00:53:29,305 LLOYD'S MOM? YES. 1361 00:53:29,305 --> 00:53:30,973 IT WAS NICE TO MEET YOU. YOU TOO. 1362 00:53:30,973 --> 00:53:33,342 YOU SHOULD BE VERY PROUD OF YOUR SON. 1363 00:53:33,342 --> 00:53:36,345 THANK YOU. 1364 00:53:36,345 --> 00:53:37,480 [ SIGHS ] 1365 00:53:37,480 --> 00:53:39,815 YOU DID IT! SHH! SHH! 1366 00:53:39,815 --> 00:53:41,517 We're good! This is a library. 1367 00:53:41,517 --> 00:53:43,553 Okay, okay, sorry. Oh, but you were perfect. 1368 00:53:43,553 --> 00:53:45,288 You spoke from the heart. 1369 00:53:45,288 --> 00:53:46,856 OKAY, THANK YOU, THANK YOU. NOW PLEASE LEAVE. 1370 00:53:46,856 --> 00:53:47,823 IT WAS -- OKAY. I'M GONNA CALL YOUR DAD, 1371 00:53:47,823 --> 00:53:49,058 EVEN THOUGH I HATE HIM. 1372 00:53:49,058 --> 00:53:50,560 OKAY, FINE. THANK YOU. BYE! 1373 00:53:50,560 --> 00:53:52,328 BYE, I LOVE YOU. BYE! BYE. 1374 00:53:52,328 --> 00:53:54,397 BYE. 1375 00:53:54,397 --> 00:53:56,132 I REFUSE TO DO OUR SCIENCE HOMEWORK. 1376 00:53:56,132 --> 00:53:57,967 I KNOW. 1377 00:54:03,105 --> 00:54:05,474 WHOA, HEY! I SAW YOU WITH HIM! 1378 00:54:05,474 --> 00:54:07,877 OKAY, I-I DON'T KNOW -- YOU GOT THE WRONG GUY. 1379 00:54:07,877 --> 00:54:09,078 DON'T LIE TO ME, YOU WHORE! 1380 00:54:09,078 --> 00:54:10,479 WHAT? [ CROWD GASPS ] 1381 00:54:10,479 --> 00:54:12,081 I WAS HIS FIRST, YOU SKANKY BITCH! WHOSE FIRST? 1382 00:54:12,081 --> 00:54:15,117 PARKER'S! OH, PARKER? 1383 00:54:15,117 --> 00:54:17,386 YOU ARE NOTHING COMPARED TO MY LOVE FOR PARKER! 1384 00:54:17,386 --> 00:54:19,121 THAT SELF-IMPORTANT NARCISSIST? 1385 00:54:19,121 --> 00:54:20,590 [ SHRIEKS ] WAIT, WHAT'S GOING ON? [ GASPS ] 1386 00:54:20,590 --> 00:54:22,091 OH, MY GOD, I'M SO SORRY! 1387 00:54:22,091 --> 00:54:23,392 BREAK IT UP! HE'S TRYING TO TAKE MY MAN! 1388 00:54:23,392 --> 00:54:25,127 HE DOESN'T GO TO THIS SCHOOL! HEY! 1389 00:54:25,127 --> 00:54:26,462 YOU'RE NOT EVEN A REAL COP! COME ON WITH ME. 1390 00:54:26,462 --> 00:54:28,931 LEAVE HIM ALONE! STOP IT! 1391 00:54:28,931 --> 00:54:30,533 LEAVE ME ALONE! OOH, YOU'RE STRONG. 1392 00:54:30,533 --> 00:54:31,968 OH, YOU'RE -- ARE YOU ALL RIGHT? 1393 00:54:31,968 --> 00:54:33,502 Y-YEAH, ARE YOU? 1394 00:54:33,502 --> 00:54:36,372 YEAH, I'M F-- I'M FINE. LET'S -- LET'S GO. COME ON. 1395 00:54:36,372 --> 00:54:38,007 HOW DO YOU EVEN KNOW THAT GUY? 1396 00:54:38,007 --> 00:54:39,842 I DON'T KNOW HIM. REALLY? 1397 00:54:39,842 --> 00:54:41,143 NEVER MET HIM BEFORE. NO! 1398 00:54:41,143 --> 00:54:42,144 NOT A SCORNED LOVER? 1399 00:54:42,144 --> 00:54:43,279 [ CHUCKLES ] NO, NO. 1400 00:54:43,279 --> 00:54:44,413 WELL, I DON'T -- 1401 00:54:44,413 --> 00:54:45,548 OH. WHAT? 1402 00:54:45,548 --> 00:54:46,983 YOU'VE GOT A LITTLE -- IT'S LIKE -- 1403 00:54:46,983 --> 00:54:47,984 WHERE? IS IT [GIGGLES] [ MUTTERS ] 1404 00:54:47,984 --> 00:54:49,986 ALL RIGHT, THERE YOU GO. YOU'RE GOOD. 1405 00:54:49,986 --> 00:54:52,521 IT'S A LITTLE TICKLISH. YEAH. [ CHUCKLES ] 1406 00:54:52,521 --> 00:54:56,292 UH, OH, HERE, READY? JUST -- YOU GOT A LITTLE -- 1407 00:54:56,292 --> 00:54:58,527 JUST, UM... WHAT? JUST... 1408 00:54:58,527 --> 00:55:00,062 JUST...YEAH. [ LAUGHS ] 1409 00:55:00,062 --> 00:55:02,298 HOW'S THAT? 1410 00:55:02,298 --> 00:55:03,432 THAT -- THAT'S -- 1411 00:55:03,432 --> 00:55:05,434 YEAH? YEAH. 1412 00:55:05,434 --> 00:55:07,870 I'VE GOT, LIKE, ROCKER-HAIR GOIN' ON RIGHT NOW, RIGHT? 1413 00:55:07,870 --> 00:55:09,872 LLOYD COOPER, WHOO! YEAH, THAT'S YOU. 1414 00:55:09,872 --> 00:55:11,507 NO. NOT ME. [ LAUGHS ] 1415 00:55:11,507 --> 00:55:13,476 SO, YOU READY FOR PROM? 1416 00:55:13,476 --> 00:55:15,344 NO, NOT IN THE LEAST. 1417 00:55:15,344 --> 00:55:17,079 [ CHUCKLES ] ME NEITHER. 1418 00:55:17,079 --> 00:55:19,982 YOU'RE, UH, GOIN' WITH JOSH? RIGHT? 1419 00:55:19,982 --> 00:55:22,251 WHY DOES EVERYONE ASSUME THAT? 1420 00:55:22,251 --> 00:55:24,253 I MEAN, JUST BECAUSE I'M A CHEERLEADER 1421 00:55:24,253 --> 00:55:26,022 AND HE'S THE QUARTERBACK, 1422 00:55:26,022 --> 00:55:28,157 AND, I DON'T KNOW, WE'VE SLEPT TOGETHER 200,000 TIMES 1423 00:55:28,157 --> 00:55:29,592 DOESN'T MAKE IT A FOREGONE CONCLUSION. 1424 00:55:29,592 --> 00:55:31,460 RIGHT. AH. MY BAD. 1425 00:55:31,460 --> 00:55:32,962 [ CHUCKLES ] 1426 00:55:32,962 --> 00:55:34,497 NAH, I'M GOIN' STAG THIS YEAR. 1427 00:55:34,497 --> 00:55:36,265 YEAH? 1428 00:55:36,265 --> 00:55:38,567 YEAH. THE GUYS AT THIS SCHOOL ARE SO DUMB. 1429 00:55:38,567 --> 00:55:40,469 AND AS AN ADDED BONUS, IT'LL PISS OFF MY MOM. 1430 00:55:40,469 --> 00:55:42,004 MM. [ CHUCKLES ] 1431 00:55:42,004 --> 00:55:43,973 YEAH, I-I'M GOING BY MYSELF, TOO. 1432 00:55:43,973 --> 00:55:45,841 WHAT? WHY? 1433 00:55:45,841 --> 00:55:48,911 BOYS ARE LINING UP TO GO WITH YOU. 1434 00:55:48,911 --> 00:55:50,279 [ SCHOOL BELL RINGS ] 1435 00:55:50,279 --> 00:55:52,381 I'LL SEE YOU LATER. 1436 00:55:52,381 --> 00:55:54,216 UH, CARRIE? 1437 00:55:54,216 --> 00:55:58,054 UH, YOU, UH... YOU WOULDN'T AT ALL 1438 00:55:58,054 --> 00:56:01,257 BE INTERESTED IN MAYBE GOING TO PROM WITH ME? 1439 00:56:01,257 --> 00:56:04,193 UH, REALLY? 1440 00:56:04,193 --> 00:56:07,963 YEAH! UH, WHY NOT? 1441 00:56:07,963 --> 00:56:09,532 I THOUGHT YOU LIKED BOYS. 1442 00:56:09,532 --> 00:56:12,301 UH, I'M ASKING YOU 1443 00:56:12,301 --> 00:56:15,438 BECAUSE I...WANT TO GO WITH YOU. 1444 00:56:15,438 --> 00:56:19,241 I EN-ENJOY, UM, SPENDING TIME WITH YOU. 1445 00:56:19,241 --> 00:56:23,245 I -- I -- YOU MAKE ME LAUGH, EASILY AND OFTEN. 1446 00:56:23,245 --> 00:56:25,481 WHEN YOU TALK IN CLASS, 1447 00:56:25,481 --> 00:56:27,416 I ACTUALLY ENJOY HEARING WHAT YOU HAVE TO SAY, 1448 00:56:27,416 --> 00:56:30,086 AS OPPOSED TO NORMALLY WHEN I JUST WANNA GOUGE MY EYES OUT. 1449 00:56:30,086 --> 00:56:33,889 [ CHUCKLES ] 1450 00:56:33,889 --> 00:56:38,160 WELL... THAT JUST MADE MY DAY. 1451 00:56:38,160 --> 00:56:40,563 AND? 1452 00:56:40,563 --> 00:56:43,232 LET'S DO THIS, IT'LL BE FUN. 1453 00:56:43,232 --> 00:56:45,101 REALLY? REALLY. 1454 00:56:45,101 --> 00:56:46,469 YES. 1455 00:56:54,810 --> 00:56:56,278 DUDE. 1456 00:56:56,278 --> 00:56:57,546 WHAT WAS THAT? 1457 00:56:57,546 --> 00:57:00,483 NOTHIN', IT WAS FINE. 1458 00:57:00,483 --> 00:57:02,451 SHE JUST KISSED YOU ON THE CHEEK?! 1459 00:57:02,451 --> 00:57:03,519 YEAH! WHAT?! 1460 00:57:03,519 --> 00:57:05,087 YEAH! 1461 00:57:05,087 --> 00:57:07,189 YEAH, DUDE! 1462 00:57:07,189 --> 00:57:10,559 OKAY. WA-HOO-HOO! 1463 00:57:10,559 --> 00:57:12,895 [ Singsong voice ] SOMEONE'S GOT A DATE! 1464 00:57:12,895 --> 00:57:15,030 SOMEONE'S GOT A DATE! 1465 00:57:18,868 --> 00:57:21,237 Max: WHAT, DO YOU TAKE ALL NINE OF THESE MUSTARDS 1466 00:57:21,237 --> 00:57:23,239 AND PUT THEM TOGETHER AND EAT IT? 1467 00:57:23,239 --> 00:57:25,274 THERE'S NOTHING IN HERE! THERE'S YOGURT. 1468 00:57:25,274 --> 00:57:26,976 [ GROANS ] 1469 00:57:26,976 --> 00:57:29,111 MMM! [ SIGHS ] 1470 00:57:29,111 --> 00:57:31,914 YOU'RE NOT ACTUALLY GONNA DRINK THAT CONCOCTION, ARE YOU? 1471 00:57:31,914 --> 00:57:34,283 YEAH, I AM. AND SO ARE YOU. 1472 00:57:34,283 --> 00:57:35,417 BECAUSE YOU ARE GONNA GET INTO BETTER SHAPE, 1473 00:57:35,417 --> 00:57:36,986 AGING ROCK STAR. 1474 00:57:36,986 --> 00:57:38,087 WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME, RIGHT? NOTHING. 1475 00:57:38,087 --> 00:57:40,456 Lloyd: HELLO, PARENTAL UNITS! 1476 00:57:40,456 --> 00:57:42,158 HEY! HEY. 1477 00:57:42,158 --> 00:57:45,394 TONS OF YOGURT IN THERE? TRY IT. 1478 00:57:45,394 --> 00:57:48,063 WELL, HE LOOKS HAPPY FOR A CHANGE. 1479 00:57:48,063 --> 00:57:51,333 YEAH, MAYBE IT'S 'CAUSE HE HAS A DATE TO THE PROM. 1480 00:57:51,333 --> 00:57:53,235 I WOULD KNOW IF HE HAD A DATE TO THE PROM. 1481 00:57:53,235 --> 00:57:55,337 MAYBE YOU WOULDN'T. 1482 00:57:55,337 --> 00:57:58,374 WHAT? 1483 00:57:58,374 --> 00:58:00,342 HE HAS A DATE TO THE PROM? 1484 00:58:00,342 --> 00:58:02,011 HE GOT A DATE FOR THE PROM. HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT? 1485 00:58:02,011 --> 00:58:04,814 [ CHUCKLES ] I GUESS HE TOLD ME. 1486 00:58:04,814 --> 00:58:06,215 HAVE YOU MET THE GUY? 1487 00:58:06,215 --> 00:58:08,551 WHAT'S HIS NAME? HOW OLD IS HE? WHO IS HE? 1488 00:58:08,551 --> 00:58:12,421 CARRIE. AGED 17, 18? 1489 00:58:12,421 --> 00:58:15,191 CARRIE. I'VE NEVER MET A BOY "CARRIE," 1490 00:58:15,191 --> 00:58:17,893 BUT IT'S LIKE CARY GRANT. IS HE DASHING? 1491 00:58:17,893 --> 00:58:19,528 CARRIE IS NOT A BOY. 1492 00:58:19,528 --> 00:58:21,430 WHAT? 1493 00:58:21,430 --> 00:58:23,265 CARRIE IS A GIRL. 1494 00:58:23,265 --> 00:58:25,234 I DON'T GET IT. 1495 00:58:25,234 --> 00:58:28,904 I DON'T REALLY KNOW HOW I COULD MAKE THAT ANY CLEARER. 1496 00:58:28,904 --> 00:58:31,140 OH. [ KNIFE CLATTERS ] 1497 00:58:31,140 --> 00:58:33,309 GREAT. 1498 00:58:33,309 --> 00:58:34,443 SO TYPICAL OF YOU. 1499 00:58:34,443 --> 00:58:36,278 OH! 1500 00:58:36,278 --> 00:58:38,314 GREAT, THAT WAS GOOD. 1501 00:58:38,314 --> 00:58:41,450 [ WATER RUNS ] 1502 00:58:41,450 --> 00:58:44,186 YOU PLANNED THIS. I KNOW YOU DID. 1503 00:58:44,186 --> 00:58:46,422 YOU CONFUSED HIM INTO ASKING A GIRL OUT. 1504 00:58:46,422 --> 00:58:48,457 I DID NOT! [ CHUCKLES ] IT'S WHAT YOU DO. 1505 00:58:48,457 --> 00:58:54,096 IT IS AMAZING HOW A GREAT MOMENT FOR OUR SON OCCURS, 1506 00:58:54,096 --> 00:58:57,032 AND SOMEHOW YOU THINK IT'S SOME KIND OF ATTACK ON YOU! 1507 00:58:57,032 --> 00:58:58,234 MAYBE YOU'RE HAVING TROUBLE ACCEPTING THIS, 1508 00:58:58,234 --> 00:59:01,837 BUT LISTEN TO ME NOW -- OUR SON IS GAY. 1509 00:59:01,837 --> 00:59:03,339 [ SIGHS ] 1510 00:59:03,339 --> 00:59:05,207 AND SHOVING HIM FACE FIRST OUT OF THE CLOSET 1511 00:59:05,207 --> 00:59:06,542 IS WHAT YOU THINK IS BEST? 1512 00:59:06,542 --> 00:59:08,210 THAT'S NOT WHAT I'M DOING. 1513 00:59:08,210 --> 00:59:11,213 AND I REALLY DON'T CARE WHAT YOU THINK IS BEST FOR HIM. 1514 00:59:11,213 --> 00:59:13,115 I'M SORRY. I JUST DON'T, OKAY? 1515 00:59:13,115 --> 00:59:15,117 'CAUSE I'VE BEEN HERE, HERE, FOR 17 YEARS, 1516 00:59:15,117 --> 00:59:16,452 DAY IN AND DAY OUT. 1517 00:59:16,452 --> 00:59:18,354 THE AMOUNT OF TIME THAT YOU'VE SPENT WITH HIM 1518 00:59:18,354 --> 00:59:21,156 ADDS UP TO, I DON'T KNOW, A CELEBRITY MARRIAGE? 1519 00:59:21,156 --> 00:59:23,492 SO, YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU JUST DON'T GET TO SAY. 1520 00:59:23,492 --> 00:59:26,095 I'M HERE! I'M HERE NOW! 1521 00:59:26,095 --> 00:59:29,031 I'M DOING MY BEST, AND, YOU KNOW, IF YOU KEEP THIS UP, 1522 00:59:29,031 --> 00:59:30,799 LLOYD IS GOING TO HATE YOU. 1523 00:59:30,799 --> 00:59:34,069 AND I WOULDN'T BLAME HIM ONE IOTA. 1524 00:59:34,069 --> 00:59:36,572 YEAH, GOOD. I GET IT NOW. 1525 00:59:36,572 --> 00:59:39,174 YOU GET TO BE BEST BUDS WITH HIM -- FINE! 1526 00:59:39,174 --> 00:59:41,343 TAKE HIM OUT, GET HIM DRUNK, PICK UP GIRLS, 1527 00:59:41,343 --> 00:59:43,846 I DON'T CARE, BUT WHEN THE TIME COMES TO PAY FOR SHIT, 1528 00:59:43,846 --> 00:59:45,814 DON'T COME TO ME BECAUSE I'LL BE HERE 1529 00:59:45,814 --> 00:59:48,517 TRYING TO FIGURE OUT A WAY TO PAY FOR COLLEGE ON THE EAST COAST. 1530 00:59:48,517 --> 00:59:50,386 YOU COULD NEVER, EVER, EVER DO IT, 1531 00:59:50,386 --> 00:59:52,354 AND I KNOW YOU CAN'T BECAUSE YOU'VE NEVER BEEN THERE FOR ME 1532 00:59:52,354 --> 00:59:54,857 BECAUSE YOU'RE JUST A DEADBEAT DAD! 1533 01:00:02,865 --> 01:00:04,833 SORRY, LLOYD. 1534 01:00:05,834 --> 01:00:08,103 [ DOOR OPENS, SLAMS ] 1535 01:00:13,842 --> 01:00:16,845 WELL, WHAT ARE YOU DOIN' OUT HERE? 1536 01:00:16,845 --> 01:00:18,414 [ KEYBOARD KEYS CLICKS ] 1537 01:00:22,384 --> 01:00:24,853 HEY, SO, A PROM DATE, HUH? 1538 01:00:24,853 --> 01:00:27,056 YEAH. MM-HMM. 1539 01:00:27,056 --> 01:00:29,325 IS SHE PRETTY? 1540 01:00:29,325 --> 01:00:30,893 UH, YEAH. 1541 01:00:33,095 --> 01:00:36,598 [ VOCALIZING ] 1542 01:00:40,035 --> 01:00:41,070 [ Amplified ] FIX THAT TABLECLOTH! 1543 01:00:41,070 --> 01:00:42,871 WHERE ARE THOSE CHAIRS GOING? 1544 01:00:54,483 --> 01:00:57,019 LESS SMILING, MORE WORKING! 1545 01:00:57,019 --> 01:01:00,556 BARBARA WOLF DEMANDS THIS PROM BE PERFECT! 1546 01:01:15,804 --> 01:01:17,239 [ SIGHS ] 1547 01:01:26,582 --> 01:01:28,217 HEY, DAD. 1548 01:01:28,217 --> 01:01:31,020 [ WOLF-WHISTLES ] 1549 01:01:31,020 --> 01:01:32,821 YOU LIKE IT? 1550 01:01:32,821 --> 01:01:34,590 YOU LOOK LIKE A MAN. 1551 01:01:34,590 --> 01:01:36,258 THANK YOU. 1552 01:01:36,258 --> 01:01:38,427 OKAY, I GOT IT. I GOT IT. OKAY. HERE I AM. 1553 01:01:38,427 --> 01:01:39,995 [ CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS ] SO HANDSOME. 1554 01:01:39,995 --> 01:01:42,865 WHAT ARE YOU DOIN' HERE? 1555 01:01:42,865 --> 01:01:47,169 I THOUGHT I MIGHT COOK YOU DINNER. 1556 01:01:47,169 --> 01:01:48,070 A LITTLE PEACE OFFERING. 1557 01:01:48,070 --> 01:01:49,371 Lloyd: MOM? DAD? 1558 01:01:49,371 --> 01:01:52,908 IS THERE, UH, SOMETHIN' YOU WANNA TELL ME? 1559 01:01:52,908 --> 01:01:56,011 NO, I HAVE NOT FORGIVEN HIM YET. WAIT, I'M COMING DOWN. 1560 01:01:56,011 --> 01:01:57,513 [ SIGHS ] 1561 01:01:57,513 --> 01:01:58,947 OKAY, I WANT A FULL SHOT, FULL SHOT! OKAY, ALL RIGHT. 1562 01:01:58,947 --> 01:02:01,083 OKAY. LOOK AT ME. 1563 01:02:01,083 --> 01:02:03,352 YOU'RE SO HANDSOME. THANK YOU. 1564 01:02:03,352 --> 01:02:06,321 OH, MY GOD. LOOK AT YOU. 1565 01:02:06,321 --> 01:02:07,456 [ EXHALES ] 1566 01:02:07,456 --> 01:02:09,525 OH, OKAY. READY? MM. 1567 01:02:09,525 --> 01:02:10,926 THREE... 1568 01:02:10,926 --> 01:02:11,994 Both: TWO. ONE. 1569 01:02:11,994 --> 01:02:13,128 THERE YOU GO. 1570 01:02:13,128 --> 01:02:14,229 HAVE FUN, BE SAFE. 1571 01:02:14,229 --> 01:02:15,564 OKAY, YEAH, YOU TOO. UNH-UNH, MM. 1572 01:02:15,564 --> 01:02:17,032 [ CHUCKLES ] SEE YOU, DAD. 1573 01:02:17,032 --> 01:02:18,200 BYE. 1574 01:02:18,200 --> 01:02:21,170 GOOD NIGHT. [ SIGHS ] 1575 01:02:21,170 --> 01:02:22,538 [ BOTH SIGH ] 1576 01:02:25,340 --> 01:02:28,377 THIS BETTER BE AN EPIC DINNER. 1577 01:02:28,377 --> 01:02:31,213 BARBECUE. 1578 01:02:33,982 --> 01:02:35,984 [ DOG BARKS IN DISTANCE ] 1579 01:02:51,433 --> 01:02:53,502 [ LID THUDS LIGHTLY ] 1580 01:02:53,502 --> 01:02:55,504 MAGGIE? 1581 01:02:55,504 --> 01:02:58,240 [ PLAYFUL SHOUTING AND CHATTER ] 1582 01:03:00,509 --> 01:03:02,578 WELL, I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT TO EXPECT, BUT... 1583 01:03:02,578 --> 01:03:04,313 [ LAUGHS ] 1584 01:03:04,313 --> 01:03:05,981 [ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ] 1585 01:03:09,051 --> 01:03:12,821 Young man: YOU GUYS LOOK GREAT. 1586 01:03:12,821 --> 01:03:14,356 WELL, THANK YOU. I APPRECIATE IT. 1587 01:03:14,356 --> 01:03:17,259 HEY. 1588 01:03:17,259 --> 01:03:20,295 [ DANCE MUSIC PLAYS ] 1589 01:03:20,295 --> 01:03:21,897 [ LAUGHS ] 1590 01:03:21,897 --> 01:03:24,199 HI. HI. 1591 01:03:24,199 --> 01:03:25,334 YOU LOOK SO CUTE! 1592 01:03:25,334 --> 01:03:26,802 I LOVE YOUR DRESS. IT'S SO GLAMOROUS. 1593 01:03:26,802 --> 01:03:29,271 THANK YOU. HAVE FUN TONIGHT. 1594 01:03:38,380 --> 01:03:40,883 FREEZE! WHAT ARE YOU DOIN', PUNK? 1595 01:03:40,883 --> 01:03:43,819 GIVE ME THAT. GIVE IT TO ME. 1596 01:03:49,091 --> 01:03:50,893 HI, GUYS. HOW ARE YOU? 1597 01:03:50,893 --> 01:03:55,097 [ MUSIC CONTINUES ] 1598 01:03:55,097 --> 01:03:58,967 DON'T YOU THINK YOU'RE JUST A LITTLE OLD FOR THE PROM? 1599 01:03:58,967 --> 01:04:00,002 HI. 1600 01:04:00,002 --> 01:04:01,170 HMM. 1601 01:04:03,005 --> 01:04:04,306 LOOK AT THEM. 1602 01:04:06,375 --> 01:04:09,444 COME ON, LET HIM BE. LET'S GO. 1603 01:04:09,444 --> 01:04:11,947 WHY ISN'T SHE DANCING? SHE SEEMS UPRIGHT. 1604 01:04:11,947 --> 01:04:13,815 SHE'S JUST NOT RIGHT FOR HIM. 1605 01:04:13,815 --> 01:04:15,450 LET 'EM HAVE THEIR FUN. MAYBE WE CAN HAVE SOME FUN. 1606 01:04:15,450 --> 01:04:17,052 SHE PROBABLY DOESN'T EVEN LIKE TO DANCE. 1607 01:04:17,052 --> 01:04:18,554 SHE JUST SEEMS LIKE THAT TYPE WHO'S LIKE, 1608 01:04:18,554 --> 01:04:20,189 "EW, I DON'T WANNA GET MY DRESS DIRTY." 1609 01:04:20,189 --> 01:04:21,924 YOU'VE GOTTA QUIT BASHING CARRIE. 1610 01:04:21,924 --> 01:04:24,927 LISTEN TO ME, I HAVE SOMEBODY BETTER FOR LLOYD -- BETTER! 1611 01:04:24,927 --> 01:04:26,395 AND HE'S GONNA BE HERE ANY MINUTE NOW, 1612 01:04:26,395 --> 01:04:28,864 AND IT'S JUST GONNA BE PERFECT, AND IT HAS TO HAPPEN 1613 01:04:28,864 --> 01:04:30,465 BECAUSE THE SCHOLARSHIP REP IS HERE! 1614 01:04:30,465 --> 01:04:32,167 YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ME! 1615 01:04:32,167 --> 01:04:34,203 HE ARRANGED THIS DATE. HE DID! 1616 01:04:34,203 --> 01:04:36,171 LET HIM BE! 1617 01:04:36,171 --> 01:04:38,941 THIS COULD ALL BLOW UP RIGHT NOW BECAUSE OF HER! 1618 01:04:38,941 --> 01:04:40,809 IT IS TIME TO LEAVE HIM ALONE. 1619 01:04:40,809 --> 01:04:42,878 SO LET'S GO. NOW! 1620 01:04:42,878 --> 01:04:44,079 EXCUSE ME. 1621 01:04:44,079 --> 01:04:45,380 YOU OKAY? 1622 01:04:45,380 --> 01:04:48,817 YEAH, I'LL BE RIGHT BACK. 1623 01:04:48,817 --> 01:04:50,185 OKAY. 1624 01:04:50,185 --> 01:04:51,220 OKAY. OKAY. 1625 01:04:51,220 --> 01:04:52,421 GOOD. 1626 01:04:52,421 --> 01:04:55,958 WHAT -- NO, NO, NO! 1627 01:04:57,993 --> 01:04:59,161 [ SIGHS ] 1628 01:05:03,932 --> 01:05:06,335 OKAY. OKAY. 1629 01:05:09,972 --> 01:05:12,074 [ GROANS ] 1630 01:05:23,518 --> 01:05:25,520 [ WATER RUNS ] 1631 01:05:25,520 --> 01:05:27,522 BEAUTIFUL DRESS. 1632 01:05:27,522 --> 01:05:29,958 OH, THANK YOU. COOL JACKET. 1633 01:05:29,958 --> 01:05:31,326 VINTAGE? YEAH, YEAH. 1634 01:05:31,326 --> 01:05:33,195 I ROCK THE VINTAGE. 1635 01:05:33,195 --> 01:05:34,229 [ LAUGHS ] 1636 01:05:34,229 --> 01:05:35,931 I'M LLOYD'S MOM. 1637 01:05:35,931 --> 01:05:37,833 OH! I-IT'S SO NICE TO FINALLY MEET YOU! 1638 01:05:37,833 --> 01:05:39,968 I'M -- I'M CARRIE. OH, I KNOW WHO YOU ARE. 1639 01:05:39,968 --> 01:05:43,171 YOU'RE THE GIRL TRYIN' TO STEAL MY SON AWAY FROM ME. 1640 01:05:43,171 --> 01:05:44,506 I'M KIDDING. 1641 01:05:44,506 --> 01:05:46,241 [ LAUGHS ] OH, MY GOD. 1642 01:05:46,241 --> 01:05:47,342 YOU SHOULD SEE YOUR FACE. 1643 01:05:47,342 --> 01:05:49,111 YOU WERE LIKE, "WHAT?" 1644 01:05:49,111 --> 01:05:50,279 [ CHUCKLES ] YEAH. PALE. 1645 01:05:50,279 --> 01:05:51,980 THAT WAS -- THAT WAS FUNNY. 1646 01:05:51,980 --> 01:05:53,448 YOU'RE BARBARA WOLF'S DAUGHTER, RIGHT? 1647 01:05:53,448 --> 01:05:55,917 [ CHUCKLES ] YEAH. 1648 01:05:55,917 --> 01:05:57,452 "I'M BARBARA WOLF." [ CHUCKLES ] 1649 01:05:57,452 --> 01:05:58,887 SHE KNOWS EVERYBODY. 1650 01:05:58,887 --> 01:06:01,456 DID YOU KNOW LLOYD USED TO DRESS UP 1651 01:06:01,456 --> 01:06:03,925 IN MY CLOTHES WHEN HE WAS A KID? 1652 01:06:03,925 --> 01:06:06,995 NO, I-I DID NOT KNOW THAT. 1653 01:06:06,995 --> 01:06:09,831 HERE'S THE WEIRD THING -- HIS FAVORITE DRESS OF MINE 1654 01:06:09,831 --> 01:06:12,167 WAS EXACTLY LIKE THE DRESS YOU'RE WEARING. 1655 01:06:12,167 --> 01:06:15,037 YOU DON'T SAY. I-I-I DIDN'T KNOW THAT. 1656 01:06:15,037 --> 01:06:17,539 ISN'T THAT A COINKIDINK? 1657 01:06:17,539 --> 01:06:19,007 UM... KINDA CRAZY. 1658 01:06:19,007 --> 01:06:20,142 A HUGE COINKIDINK. 1659 01:06:20,142 --> 01:06:21,343 YEAH. [ CHUCKLES ] 1660 01:06:21,343 --> 01:06:23,145 HE USED TO PUT ON THESE SHOWS 1661 01:06:23,145 --> 01:06:25,380 AND DANCE AND SING AROUND THE HOUSE. 1662 01:06:25,380 --> 01:06:27,382 IT WAS ADORABLE. WELL, I'M SURE. 1663 01:06:27,382 --> 01:06:29,184 I WOULD'VE LOVED TO HAVE SEEN IT. 1664 01:06:29,184 --> 01:06:30,886 IT SOUNDS HILARIOUS. 1665 01:06:30,886 --> 01:06:32,554 BUT LATELY HE'S NOT PUTTING ON SHOWS AROUND THE HOUSE. 1666 01:06:32,554 --> 01:06:36,224 IT'S JUST SORT OF DIFFERENT AT MY PLACE. 1667 01:06:36,224 --> 01:06:37,926 UH... 1668 01:06:37,926 --> 01:06:40,329 IT'S REALLY AS IF YOU CAME ALONG, 1669 01:06:40,329 --> 01:06:42,431 AND NOW HE'S CONFUSED. 1670 01:06:42,431 --> 01:06:46,435 UH, I'M SORRY, MRS. COOPER, 1671 01:06:46,435 --> 01:06:48,904 I-I DON'T THINK I UNDERSTAND. 1672 01:06:48,904 --> 01:06:52,441 IT'S LIKE HIS WHOLE LIFE, LLOYD WAS A VEGETARIAN, 1673 01:06:52,441 --> 01:06:55,177 AND NOW SUDDENLY HE LIKES BEEF. 1674 01:06:55,177 --> 01:06:58,146 WELL, CAN'T HE LIKE VEGETABLES AND BEEF? 1675 01:06:58,146 --> 01:06:59,881 OKAY. 1676 01:06:59,881 --> 01:07:03,018 WE BOTH WANT WHAT'S BEST FOR LLOYD, RIGHT? 1677 01:07:03,018 --> 01:07:04,886 WELL, OF COURSE. MRS. COOPER, 1678 01:07:04,886 --> 01:07:06,922 I THINK YOUR SON IS A WONDERFUL PERSON. 1679 01:07:06,922 --> 01:07:08,023 I-I LIKE HIM A LOT. 1680 01:07:08,023 --> 01:07:10,359 OKAY. SO LET'S DO THIS. 1681 01:07:10,359 --> 01:07:12,260 LET'S HAVE A GIRLS' SECRET. 1682 01:07:12,260 --> 01:07:13,929 A SECRET? 1683 01:07:13,929 --> 01:07:15,564 HERE'S WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN. MM-HMM? 1684 01:07:15,564 --> 01:07:17,899 YOU KNOW HOW SOME PEOPLE GO TO PROM TOGETHER? 1685 01:07:17,899 --> 01:07:19,568 UH-HUH. 1686 01:07:19,568 --> 01:07:24,306 SOMETIMES PEOPLE TAKE A CAB HOME. 1687 01:07:24,306 --> 01:07:26,108 OKAY? 1688 01:07:26,108 --> 01:07:29,878 [ DOOR OPENS ] [ SCOFFS ] 1689 01:07:29,878 --> 01:07:34,049 [ MID-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS ] 1690 01:07:34,049 --> 01:07:36,918 AND YOU GOTTA BE CAREFUL IN NEW YORK, LIKE, I DON'T KNOW. 1691 01:07:36,918 --> 01:07:38,520 YOU'RE -- YOU'RE PRETTY CUTE, 1692 01:07:38,520 --> 01:07:40,088 AND NEW YORK'S PRETTY HARD. 1693 01:07:40,088 --> 01:07:41,356 THEY'RE GONNA -- THEY'RE GONNA EAT YOU UP OUT THERE, MAN. 1694 01:07:41,356 --> 01:07:42,591 COME ON. 1695 01:07:42,591 --> 01:07:43,558 YEAH, YOU GOTTA START WORKING OUT OR SOMETHIN'. 1696 01:07:43,558 --> 01:07:45,227 I'LL BE FINE. HEY. 1697 01:07:45,227 --> 01:07:46,294 HI! HI, GUYS. 1698 01:07:46,294 --> 01:07:47,496 DO YOU MIND IF I TALK TO LLOYD FOR JUST A SECOND? 1699 01:07:47,496 --> 01:07:48,597 JUST A SECOND. 1700 01:07:48,597 --> 01:07:50,532 SORRY. [ CHUCKLES ] WHAT'S UP? 1701 01:07:50,532 --> 01:07:51,967 Um, your mom was in the bathroom, 1702 01:07:51,967 --> 01:07:53,468 and she tried to pay me to get me to leave. 1703 01:07:53,468 --> 01:07:56,071 ARE YOU KIDDING? WHERE IS SHE? 1704 01:07:56,071 --> 01:07:58,240 OKAY, FIRST OF ALL, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? 1705 01:07:58,240 --> 01:07:59,941 THERE ARE A LOT OF PARENTS HERE. 1706 01:07:59,941 --> 01:08:02,144 THERE ARE PARENTS HERE CHAPERONING, SURE. 1707 01:08:02,144 --> 01:08:03,879 THERE IS NOBODY ELSE HERE 1708 01:08:03,879 --> 01:08:05,814 WHO IS SABOTAGING THEIR KID'S LIFE LIKE YOU ARE MINE. 1709 01:08:05,814 --> 01:08:07,315 THAT IS NOT TRUE! 1710 01:08:07,315 --> 01:08:08,483 SO YOU DIDN'T JUST TRY TO PAY CARRIE TO LEAVE? 1711 01:08:08,483 --> 01:08:10,952 I-I'M SORRY -- IT'S OKAY. 1712 01:08:10,952 --> 01:08:12,554 APOLOGIZE TO HER RIGHT NOW, AND GO HOME. 1713 01:08:12,554 --> 01:08:14,122 DON'T TALK TO ME LIKE THAT. 1714 01:08:14,122 --> 01:08:15,424 I HAVE HAD IT WITH YOU! 1715 01:08:15,424 --> 01:08:16,458 I AM TRYING TO HELP YOU! 1716 01:08:16,458 --> 01:08:17,959 YOU ARE NOT HELPING ME! 1717 01:08:17,959 --> 01:08:19,327 I AM -- WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? 1718 01:08:19,327 --> 01:08:20,929 YOU CAN'T DO THIS ON YOUR OWN. I HAVE TO BE HERE. 1719 01:08:20,929 --> 01:08:22,397 NO, I CAN DO THIS ON MY OWN. I'M FINE! 1720 01:08:22,397 --> 01:08:24,266 DAN, DAN! HEY! DAN. WHO IS DAN? 1721 01:08:24,266 --> 01:08:27,068 THIS IS MY SON, LLOYD. 1722 01:08:27,068 --> 01:08:28,537 I'VE HEARD SO MUCH ABOUT YOU. NICE TO MEET YOU. 1723 01:08:28,537 --> 01:08:30,038 DAN LOVES TO READ, HE'S A PISCES, 1724 01:08:30,038 --> 01:08:31,239 AND HE LOVES "SAILOR MOON." 1725 01:08:31,239 --> 01:08:33,041 WASN'T THAT YOUR FAVORITE SHOW? 1726 01:08:33,041 --> 01:08:34,109 I LOVE "SAILOR MOON." WHO'S YOUR FAVORITE SAILOR? 1727 01:08:34,109 --> 01:08:35,911 SAILOR MERCURY. DAN, I'M SORRY. 1728 01:08:35,911 --> 01:08:37,579 UH, YOU'VE BEEN TRICKED INTO COMING DOWN HERE. 1729 01:08:37,579 --> 01:08:39,114 MY MOM IS INSANE. YOU NEED TO LEAVE. 1730 01:08:39,114 --> 01:08:41,850 NO! MY SON IS TRYING TO TEACH ME A LESSON ABOUT MEDDLING, 1731 01:08:41,850 --> 01:08:43,251 BUT YOU SHOULD STAY. BECAUSE THIS IS ALL ABOUT YOU, RIGHT? 1732 01:08:43,251 --> 01:08:44,920 NO -- DO YOU LIKE ITALIAN FOOD, DAN? 1733 01:08:44,920 --> 01:08:47,155 YEAH, I LOVE ITALIAN FO-- COME HERE. 1734 01:08:48,990 --> 01:08:51,193 WOW. 1735 01:08:51,193 --> 01:08:52,060 HOW WAS THAT? 1736 01:08:53,829 --> 01:08:57,132 GOOD. COME HERE. 1737 01:08:57,132 --> 01:09:00,135 ♪ 'CAUSE I DON'T KNOW A THING ABOUT YOU ♪ 1738 01:09:03,004 --> 01:09:06,208 ♪ OH, DON'T STOP ♪ 1739 01:09:06,208 --> 01:09:10,145 ♪ 'CAUSE I DON'T WANT TO KNOW A SINGLE THING ABOUT YOU ♪ 1740 01:09:13,281 --> 01:09:15,817 ♪ EVERYTHING'S PERFECT ♪ 1741 01:09:15,817 --> 01:09:17,452 UH [CHUCKLES] 1742 01:09:17,452 --> 01:09:21,256 NOW, PLEASE GO HOME. YOU SHOULD NOT BE HERE. 1743 01:09:21,256 --> 01:09:22,557 I -- 1744 01:09:22,557 --> 01:09:24,025 NO. COME ON, CARRIE, LET'S GO. 1745 01:09:24,025 --> 01:09:27,162 DEREK, LISTEN. 1746 01:09:27,162 --> 01:09:28,930 I AM SO SORRY. 1747 01:09:28,930 --> 01:09:31,066 I HAVE BEEN LYING TO YOU THIS WHOLE TIME. 1748 01:09:31,066 --> 01:09:33,401 MY MOM SUBMITTED ME FOR THE SCHOLARSHIP WITHOUT MY KNOWLEDGE. 1749 01:09:33,401 --> 01:09:34,970 I DO NOT DESERVE IT. 1750 01:09:34,970 --> 01:09:36,037 YOU SHOULD GIVE IT TO SOMEBODY WHO DOES. 1751 01:09:36,037 --> 01:09:37,172 I'M REALLY SORRY. WAIT. 1752 01:09:37,172 --> 01:09:38,940 WHAT? 1753 01:09:38,940 --> 01:09:42,244 ARE YOU TELLING ME... YOU'RE NOT GAY? 1754 01:09:42,244 --> 01:09:44,346 I DON'T KNOW. I REALLY DON'T KNOW. 1755 01:09:44,346 --> 01:09:46,047 HONESTLY, I [SIGHS] 1756 01:09:46,047 --> 01:09:48,984 WHY IS EVERYBODY SO INTENT ON PUTTING A LABEL ON ME? 1757 01:09:48,984 --> 01:09:51,152 I HAVE NO IDEA IF I'M GAY OR STRAIGHT. 1758 01:09:51,152 --> 01:09:52,988 I'D NEVER EVEN KISSED ANYBODY 1759 01:09:52,988 --> 01:09:54,890 UNTIL ABOUT 30 SECONDS AGO, OKAY? 1760 01:09:54,890 --> 01:09:56,491 I DON'T KNOW. IS THAT ALL RIGHT? 1761 01:09:56,491 --> 01:09:57,826 GOOD NIGHT. COME ON. 1762 01:09:57,826 --> 01:09:59,561 ♪ DON'T STOP ♪ 1763 01:09:59,561 --> 01:10:02,998 ♪ 'CAUSE I DON'T WANT TO KNOW A SINGLE THING ABOUT YOU ♪ 1764 01:10:06,001 --> 01:10:08,436 [ VOCALIZING ] 1765 01:10:13,041 --> 01:10:15,010 LLOYD! YES? 1766 01:10:15,010 --> 01:10:16,845 YOU CAN JUST KISS NEW YORK GOODBYE 1767 01:10:16,845 --> 01:10:17,879 BECAUSE I CAN'T PAY FOR IT. 1768 01:10:17,879 --> 01:10:19,481 [ Crying ] I CANNOT PAY FOR IT. 1769 01:10:19,481 --> 01:10:22,250 AND YOU JUST MADE IT COMPLETELY CLEAR YOU DON'T WANT MY HELP. 1770 01:10:22,250 --> 01:10:25,253 I DON'T WANT YOUR HELP. NO, I REALLY DON'T. 1771 01:10:25,253 --> 01:10:27,188 IF I WANNA GO TO NYU, 1772 01:10:27,188 --> 01:10:28,356 I WILL SAVE UP THE MONEY ON MY OWN 1773 01:10:28,356 --> 01:10:29,891 AND I WILL GET MYSELF THERE. 1774 01:10:29,891 --> 01:10:31,960 IT'S NOT EVEN ABOUT NYU. I DON'T CARE ABOUT NYU. 1775 01:10:31,960 --> 01:10:34,996 I JUST WANTED TO GET AS FAR AWAY FROM YOU AS I COULD. 1776 01:10:40,068 --> 01:10:42,804 Principal Mackie: WELL, NOW YOU ALL KNOW ME. 1777 01:10:42,804 --> 01:10:47,442 I'M PRINCIPAL MACKIE, AND, UH, WELL, I'D JUST LIKE TO 1778 01:10:47,442 --> 01:10:50,145 WELCOME ALL YOU WOODBRIDGE STUDENTS, 1779 01:10:50,145 --> 01:10:51,379 UH, TO OUR PROM. 1780 01:10:51,379 --> 01:10:53,248 AND NOW, 1781 01:10:53,248 --> 01:10:58,119 BARBARA WOLF WILL ANNOUNCE THE WINNERS OF PROM COURT! 1782 01:10:58,119 --> 01:11:01,389 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 1783 01:11:05,226 --> 01:11:07,929 I KNOW THAT THERE IS SOMETHING 1784 01:11:07,929 --> 01:11:09,864 THAT WE HAVE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR -- 1785 01:11:09,864 --> 01:11:13,435 WHO OUR PROM KING AND QUEEN ARE TONIGHT! 1786 01:11:13,435 --> 01:11:16,404 HERE WE GO. [ DRUM ROLL ] 1787 01:11:16,404 --> 01:11:19,240 [ GASPS ] OH, MY GOSH! 1788 01:11:19,240 --> 01:11:23,578 MY OWN BABY, CARRIE WOLF, IS PROM QUEEN! 1789 01:11:23,578 --> 01:11:26,114 OH, I'M SO PROUD OF HER! 1790 01:11:26,114 --> 01:11:28,249 CARRIE WOLF AND... 1791 01:11:28,249 --> 01:11:32,220 PROM KING IS LLOYD COOPER? 1792 01:11:32,220 --> 01:11:36,224 YEAH-HA-HA-HAH! WHOO! 1793 01:11:36,224 --> 01:11:38,393 CARRIE? 1794 01:11:38,393 --> 01:11:40,562 THEY LEFT. 1795 01:11:40,562 --> 01:11:46,001 SON OF A MOTHER SHH-ACKIN' SON MY MOTHER F-FIST IN THE -- 1796 01:11:46,001 --> 01:11:47,402 [ CACKLES ] 1797 01:11:47,402 --> 01:11:49,137 OH, IT'S FINE. [ LAUGHS ] 1798 01:11:49,137 --> 01:11:51,306 OUR WINNERS. 1799 01:11:51,306 --> 01:11:53,174 OH, IT'S ALL... 1800 01:11:53,174 --> 01:11:55,410 [ SIGHS ] 1801 01:11:55,410 --> 01:11:57,879 YES. OH, YES. 1802 01:11:57,879 --> 01:11:59,581 BARBARA WOLF SAYS, 1803 01:11:59,581 --> 01:12:04,085 "ENJOY YOUR STARRY, STARRY MAGICAL NIGHT." 1804 01:12:04,085 --> 01:12:07,088 DANCE, SHOO, GO EVERYONE, DANCE! 1805 01:12:07,088 --> 01:12:09,057 [ UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYS ] 1806 01:12:17,565 --> 01:12:22,437 ♪ THERE'S WOOD FOR THE FIRE ♪ 1807 01:12:22,437 --> 01:12:26,241 ♪ BUT THERE'S NO MATCHES ♪ 1808 01:12:26,241 --> 01:12:27,942 [ HELICOPTER BLADES WHIRRING ] 1809 01:12:27,942 --> 01:12:30,111 Maggie: [ Echoing ] WHAT, I'M YOUR MOTHER! 1810 01:12:30,111 --> 01:12:31,379 I KNOW WHERE YOU ARE AT ALL TIMES! 1811 01:12:31,379 --> 01:12:32,914 LET ME TIE YOUR SHOES. 1812 01:12:32,914 --> 01:12:34,215 WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT WHEN YOU... 1813 01:12:34,215 --> 01:12:35,984 ARE YOU SEEING ANYONE? 1814 01:12:35,984 --> 01:12:37,118 LET ME DO UP THAT SHIRT FOR YOU. 1815 01:12:37,118 --> 01:12:38,553 WHEN WAS YOUR FIRST KISS? 1816 01:12:38,553 --> 01:12:40,188 I LOVE YOU. I'M NEVER GONNA LEAVE YOU. 1817 01:12:40,188 --> 01:12:41,523 DO YOU...DUST? 1818 01:12:41,523 --> 01:12:44,592 LLOYD, ARE YOU GAY? 1819 01:12:44,592 --> 01:12:47,228 [ PANTING, SIGHS ] 1820 01:13:19,094 --> 01:13:21,129 [ DOG BARKS IN DISTANCE ] 1821 01:13:55,029 --> 01:13:56,297 [ SIGHS ] YOU READY? 1822 01:13:56,297 --> 01:13:58,199 SO READY. [ CHUCKLES ] 1823 01:13:58,199 --> 01:14:00,168 ALL RIGHT. 1824 01:14:02,904 --> 01:14:04,239 [ HORN HONKS ] 1825 01:14:04,239 --> 01:14:06,975 HEY! WHAT'S SHE DOIN' HERE? 1826 01:14:06,975 --> 01:14:09,043 WOW. 1827 01:14:13,414 --> 01:14:17,452 YOU THOUGHT I WAS JUST GONNA LET YOU GO WITHOUT SAYING GOODBYE? 1828 01:14:17,452 --> 01:14:19,554 COME HERE. 1829 01:14:19,554 --> 01:14:23,024 OH, I'M GONNA MISS YOU. 1830 01:14:23,024 --> 01:14:24,159 I'M GONNA MISS YOU, TOO. 1831 01:14:24,159 --> 01:14:26,995 HEY, LISTEN, THANK YOU. 1832 01:14:26,995 --> 01:14:28,363 [ CHUCKLES ] FOR WHAT? 1833 01:14:28,363 --> 01:14:30,532 FOR BEING MY FRIEND, REALLY. 1834 01:14:30,532 --> 01:14:32,534 I WISH IT HAPPENED SOONER, BUT... 1835 01:14:32,534 --> 01:14:35,003 BETTER LATE THAN NEVER, RIGHT? YEAH. 1836 01:14:36,237 --> 01:14:38,006 I, UM -- I GOT YOU SOMETHING. 1837 01:14:38,006 --> 01:14:39,274 OH! 1838 01:14:39,274 --> 01:14:43,144 YES. LITTLE GOING-AWAY PRESENT. 1839 01:14:43,144 --> 01:14:45,280 I'VE, UM -- I'VE BEEN SAVING UP. 1840 01:14:45,280 --> 01:14:47,415 N-NEW YORK CITY IS, LIKE, SUPER SUPER EXPENSIVE. 1841 01:14:47,415 --> 01:14:49,317 OH, MY GOSH. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? 1842 01:14:51,486 --> 01:14:53,221 [ CHUCKLES ] 1843 01:14:53,221 --> 01:14:55,290 I CAN'T -- I CAN'T TAKE THIS. YES! YES! 1844 01:14:55,290 --> 01:14:59,360 IT'S YOURS. AND THE NEXT TIME I FIND MYSELF IN NEW YORK CITY, 1845 01:14:59,360 --> 01:15:01,529 YOU CAN PAY ME BACK BY LETTING ME CRASH AT YOUR PLACE, 1846 01:15:01,529 --> 01:15:03,064 FOR LIFE. 1847 01:15:03,064 --> 01:15:04,165 YOU KNOW I GOT THE SCHOLARSHIP, RIGHT? 1848 01:15:04,165 --> 01:15:07,802 W-WHAT? WAIT, HOW? HOW DID THIS HAPPEN? 1849 01:15:07,802 --> 01:15:10,271 WELL, APPARENTLY, BISEXUAL OR QUESTIONING STILL QUALIFIES. 1850 01:15:10,271 --> 01:15:11,906 [ CHUCKLES ] 1851 01:15:11,906 --> 01:15:14,442 DEREK WAS SUPER-IMPRESSED THAT HE WAS HONEST, 1852 01:15:14,442 --> 01:15:16,311 SO THAT CLINCHED THE DEAL. 1853 01:15:16,311 --> 01:15:18,513 DOING THE RIGHT THING PAID OFF, WHO KNEW? 1854 01:15:18,513 --> 01:15:20,081 LLOYD [SQUEALS, LAUGHS] 1855 01:15:20,081 --> 01:15:21,816 OH, MY GOD! I'M SO HAPPY FOR YOU. 1856 01:15:21,816 --> 01:15:23,284 HERE, HERE, HERE, HERE, PLEASE. COME ON. 1857 01:15:23,284 --> 01:15:25,420 NO, NO, YOU KNOW WHAT? TAKE IT, YOU KNOW? 1858 01:15:25,420 --> 01:15:27,288 I-I STILL WANT A PLACE TO STAY, 1859 01:15:27,288 --> 01:15:29,257 AND THE SCHOLARSHIP WON'T COVER EVERYTHING, SO... 1860 01:15:29,257 --> 01:15:31,292 YOU ARE JUST THE BEST. YOU'RE JUST THE BEST. 1861 01:15:31,292 --> 01:15:33,328 COME HERE. MM. AH. 1862 01:15:33,328 --> 01:15:34,529 ALL RIGHT, GET OUT OF HERE BEFORE I TAKE YOU WITH ME. 1863 01:15:34,529 --> 01:15:36,231 MM, I WISH YOU WOULD. 1864 01:15:36,231 --> 01:15:37,899 [ LAUGHS ] [ CHUCKLES ] 1865 01:15:40,001 --> 01:15:42,303 YOU ALL RIGHT? 1866 01:15:42,303 --> 01:15:43,438 YEAH. ARE YOU CRYING? 1867 01:15:43,438 --> 01:15:45,273 [ SNIFFLES ] MAYBE. [ CRIES ] 1868 01:15:45,273 --> 01:15:48,243 WHAT'S WRONG WITH A DAD BEIN' SAD HIS KID'S GOIN' AWAY? 1869 01:15:48,243 --> 01:15:50,411 COME HERE. YOU'RE GOIN'. 1870 01:15:50,411 --> 01:15:52,013 [ Chuckling ] YOU'RE GONNA FLY. I LOVE YOU. 1871 01:15:52,013 --> 01:15:53,481 I LOVE YOU, TOO, DAD. 1872 01:15:53,481 --> 01:15:56,317 YOU ARE GONNA KICK ASS IN THAT TOWN. 1873 01:15:56,317 --> 01:15:58,152 [ LAUGHS ] 1874 01:15:58,152 --> 01:15:59,821 YOU ARE JUST -- YOU ARE NOT GONNA BELIEVE IT. 1875 01:15:59,821 --> 01:16:01,589 IT'S SUCH A COOL PLACE. CAN'T WAIT. 1876 01:16:01,589 --> 01:16:04,092 YOU ARE GONNA HAVE THE MOST FUN. I WILL. 1877 01:16:04,092 --> 01:16:05,360 WAIT! 1878 01:16:05,360 --> 01:16:07,395 I'M RIGHT HERE, MOM! 1879 01:16:12,333 --> 01:16:14,836 A COUPLE THINGS. 1880 01:16:14,836 --> 01:16:17,572 I GOTTA GO OR I'M GONNA MISS MY FLIGHT, OKAY? I KNOW, I KNOW. HERE. 1881 01:16:17,572 --> 01:16:18,940 OKAY. 1882 01:16:18,940 --> 01:16:19,941 DID YOU PACK YOUR I.D.? YEAH. 1883 01:16:19,941 --> 01:16:21,309 WARM CLOTHES? YES. 1884 01:16:21,309 --> 01:16:22,844 IT'S WINTER THERE, YOU KNOW. YEAH. 1885 01:16:22,844 --> 01:16:23,845 OKAY. I'M GOOD. 1886 01:16:23,845 --> 01:16:25,980 I'M GONNA MISS YOU. 1887 01:16:25,980 --> 01:16:28,216 I'M GONNA MISS YOU, TOO. 1888 01:16:28,216 --> 01:16:30,518 YEAH? YEAH. 1889 01:16:30,518 --> 01:16:32,887 EVEN ALL YOUR WILDLY INAPPROPRIATE STORIES. 1890 01:16:32,887 --> 01:16:35,556 COME HERE. 1891 01:16:37,425 --> 01:16:38,960 I LOVE YOU, MOM. 1892 01:16:38,960 --> 01:16:40,461 I LOVE YOU, TOO. 1893 01:16:40,461 --> 01:16:42,263 I LOVE YOU. 1894 01:16:42,263 --> 01:16:44,399 OKAY, WE'RE GONNA LET GO, OKAY? OKAY. 1895 01:16:44,399 --> 01:16:47,101 ON THREE, TWO, ONE. LET'S DO THREE, TWO, ONE, READY? 1896 01:16:47,101 --> 01:16:48,236 THREE, TWO, ONE. OKAY. 1897 01:16:48,236 --> 01:16:49,904 GOOD. GOOD. OH. OH, I WASN'T READY. 1898 01:16:49,904 --> 01:16:51,339 OKAY, THAT'S OKAY. READY? 1899 01:16:51,339 --> 01:16:53,408 Both: THREE, TWO, ONE. 1900 01:16:55,109 --> 01:16:57,512 SEE? THERE YOU GO. 1901 01:16:57,512 --> 01:16:58,947 I LOVE YOU, MOM. 1902 01:16:58,947 --> 01:17:01,382 OKAY. 1903 01:17:01,382 --> 01:17:02,817 [ SIGHS ] 1904 01:17:02,817 --> 01:17:04,585 HEY. HUH? 1905 01:17:04,585 --> 01:17:06,587 YOU DON'T HATE ME, HUH? 1906 01:17:06,587 --> 01:17:08,856 NO. 1907 01:17:08,856 --> 01:17:10,925 OKAY. HE DOESN'T HATE ME. 1908 01:17:10,925 --> 01:17:12,827 GOOD. 1909 01:17:12,827 --> 01:17:14,295 KEEP AN EYE ON HER, ALL RIGHT, CARRIE? 1910 01:17:14,295 --> 01:17:16,130 ABSOLUTELY. [ ENGINE TURNS OVER ] 1911 01:17:16,130 --> 01:17:17,432 [ Chuckling ] BYE, LLOYD. 1912 01:17:17,432 --> 01:17:19,400 BYE. BYE. 1913 01:17:38,920 --> 01:17:40,455 OKAY. 1914 01:17:50,999 --> 01:17:52,200 [ HORN BLARES ] 1915 01:17:59,173 --> 01:18:01,509 [ SIREN WAILS IN DISTANCE ] 1916 01:18:16,391 --> 01:18:18,326 [ SIREN WAILS IN DISTANCE ] 1917 01:18:21,863 --> 01:18:25,466 [ POP MUSIC PLAYING IN HEADPHONES ] 1918 01:18:35,810 --> 01:18:36,944 SURPRISE! 1919 01:18:36,944 --> 01:18:38,012 HEY! 1920 01:18:38,012 --> 01:18:39,847 HI! HI. 1921 01:18:39,847 --> 01:18:41,849 HAPPY BIRTHDAY. 1922 01:18:41,849 --> 01:18:44,318 MY BIRTHDAY'S NOT FOR ANOTHER SIX MONTHS. YOU KNOW THAT. 1923 01:18:44,318 --> 01:18:46,220 YEAH, BUT THE SECURITY GUARD 1924 01:18:46,220 --> 01:18:48,356 I HAD TO BRIBE DOWNSTAIRS DOES NOT. 1925 01:18:48,356 --> 01:18:50,324 UH-HUH. 1926 01:18:50,324 --> 01:18:51,559 HI. 1927 01:18:51,559 --> 01:18:54,362 WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN NEW YORK CITY? 1928 01:18:54,362 --> 01:18:57,165 WELL, I HAD THESE FREQUENT FLYER MILES I HAD TO USE, 1929 01:18:57,165 --> 01:18:58,433 SO I JUST THOUGHT, "I'LL COME SEE MY SON!" 1930 01:18:58,433 --> 01:19:00,134 YOU DON'T HAVE FREQUENT FLYER MILES, THOUGH. 1931 01:19:00,134 --> 01:19:02,336 NO, I DON'T. NO. 1932 01:19:02,336 --> 01:19:03,538 BUT YOUR DAD DOES. 1933 01:19:03,538 --> 01:19:06,841 AND, UH, HE'S DOWNSTAIRS. 1934 01:19:06,841 --> 01:19:08,443 RIGHT NOW? YEAH. 1935 01:19:08,443 --> 01:19:11,045 'CAUSE, UM, WE'RE HERE TOGETHER. 1936 01:19:11,045 --> 01:19:13,815 REALLY? YEAH. 1937 01:19:13,815 --> 01:19:15,283 MOM, THAT'S SO GOOD TO HEAR. 1938 01:19:15,283 --> 01:19:16,317 IT'S OKAY, HUH? 1939 01:19:16,317 --> 01:19:19,020 THAT'S GREAT, YEAH! OKAY. 1940 01:19:19,020 --> 01:19:21,189 UM, SO [SIGHS] DO YOU WANNA HAVE DINNER? 1941 01:19:21,189 --> 01:19:22,890 NO, YEAH, THAT'D BE GREAT. REALLY? 1942 01:19:22,890 --> 01:19:24,058 YEAH, YEAH, OF COURSE! 1943 01:19:24,058 --> 01:19:25,293 OKAY. WE MADE A RESERVATION AND -- 1944 01:19:25,293 --> 01:19:26,994 PERFECT! YEAH, OF COURSE. 1945 01:19:26,994 --> 01:19:30,131 OKAY. IT'S REALLY GREAT IN HERE. 1946 01:19:30,131 --> 01:19:33,835 RESERVATIONS FOR HOW MANY? 1947 01:19:35,870 --> 01:19:38,272 MOM? 1948 01:19:38,272 --> 01:19:42,043 ♪ BETSY, CUT MY DRESS A LITTLE SHORTER ♪ 1949 01:19:42,043 --> 01:19:45,313 ♪ GET ME READY FOR MY VIDEO ♪ 1950 01:19:45,313 --> 01:19:50,151 ♪ ONE TAKE, I'LL SHAKE IT UP ON MTV ♪ 1951 01:19:50,151 --> 01:19:52,386 ♪ ALL EYES ON ME ♪ 1952 01:19:52,386 --> 01:19:56,190 ♪ JOHN, MAKE MY PLATFORMS A LITTLE HIGHER ♪ 1953 01:19:56,190 --> 01:20:00,094 ♪ I GOTTA WALK WITHOUT MY BAND ♪ 1954 01:20:00,094 --> 01:20:03,131 ♪ ALL EYES ON ME ♪ 1955 01:20:03,131 --> 01:20:06,801 ♪ THEY SAY I'M FOLK, BUT I LIKE BOWIE ♪ 1956 01:20:06,801 --> 01:20:09,170 ♪ WHOAAA ♪ 1957 01:20:09,170 --> 01:20:10,872 ♪ THOSE WERE THE '90s ♪ 1958 01:20:10,872 --> 01:20:12,406 ♪ WHOAAAA ♪ 1959 01:20:12,406 --> 01:20:14,542 ♪ AND TIME FLIES SO FAST ♪ 1960 01:20:14,542 --> 01:20:16,144 ♪ WHOAAAA ♪ 1961 01:20:16,144 --> 01:20:18,412 ♪ YOU SAY YOU LOVE ME THEN ♪ 1962 01:20:18,412 --> 01:20:21,482 ♪ BUT I DON'T WANNA GO BACK ♪ 1963 01:20:21,482 --> 01:20:24,018 ♪ WE LET OUR HAIR GROW LONG ♪ 1964 01:20:24,018 --> 01:20:25,520 ♪ SO LONG ♪ 1965 01:20:25,520 --> 01:20:28,523 ♪ GOT BIKER BOOTS AND WROTE TOUGH SONGS ♪ 1966 01:20:28,523 --> 01:20:32,160 ♪ SO I'M THE ANGEL, SHE'S THE DEMON ♪ 1967 01:20:32,160 --> 01:20:35,997 ♪ ALL THE WORDS HAVE TOO MUCH MEANING ♪ 1968 01:20:35,997 --> 01:20:37,465 ♪ WHOAAAA ♪ 1969 01:20:37,465 --> 01:20:39,901 ♪ THOSE WERE THE '90s ♪ 1970 01:20:39,901 --> 01:20:41,335 ♪ WHOAAAA ♪ 1971 01:20:41,335 --> 01:20:43,271 ♪ AND TIME FLIES SO FAST ♪ 1972 01:20:43,271 --> 01:20:44,872 ♪ WHOAAAA ♪ 1973 01:20:44,872 --> 01:20:47,208 ♪ YOU SAY YOU LOVE ME THEN ♪ 1974 01:20:47,208 --> 01:20:50,278 ♪ BUT I DON'T WANNA GO BACK ♪ 1975 01:20:50,278 --> 01:20:53,848 ♪ NO, I DON'T WANNA GO BACK ♪ 1976 01:20:53,848 --> 01:20:57,318 ♪ HE CAN'T SPIT OUT WHAT HE THINKS ♪ 1977 01:20:57,318 --> 01:21:00,855 ♪ WAITS TO HEAR AND THEN AGREES ♪ 1978 01:21:00,855 --> 01:21:04,192 ♪ STILL SENDS ME A LIMOUSINE ♪ 1979 01:21:04,192 --> 01:21:06,460 ♪ SO ALTERNATIVE ♪ 1980 01:21:06,460 --> 01:21:11,465 ♪ JUST LIKE EVERYBODY ELSE IN THE MAINSTREAM ♪ 1981 01:21:11,465 --> 01:21:14,135 ♪ 1, 2, 3, GO ♪ 1982 01:21:14,135 --> 01:21:18,039 [ INSTRUMENTAL BREAK ] 1983 01:21:21,142 --> 01:21:23,945 [ VOCALIZING ] 1984 01:21:23,945 --> 01:21:28,082 ♪ NO, I DON'T WANNA GO -- WANNA GO BACK ♪ 1985 01:21:28,082 --> 01:21:30,084 ♪ WHOAAAA ♪ 1986 01:21:30,084 --> 01:21:31,452 ♪ THOSE WERE THE '90s ♪ 1987 01:21:31,452 --> 01:21:33,821 ♪ WHOAAAA ♪ 1988 01:21:33,821 --> 01:21:35,423 ♪ AND TIME FLIES SO FAST ♪ 1989 01:21:35,423 --> 01:21:37,425 ♪ WHOAAAA ♪ 1990 01:21:37,425 --> 01:21:39,460 ♪ YOU SAY YOU LOVE ME THEN ♪ 1991 01:21:39,460 --> 01:21:42,296 ♪ BUT I DON'T WANNA GO BACK ♪ 1992 01:21:42,296 --> 01:21:46,234 ♪ NO, I DON'T WANNA GO BACK ♪ 1993 01:21:46,234 --> 01:21:48,269 ♪ I DON'T WANNA GO BACK ♪ 1994 01:21:48,269 --> 01:21:50,972 ♪ YOU CAN'T BEND THE PAST ♪ 1995 01:21:50,972 --> 01:21:54,141 ♪ SURE, I LIKED IT THEN ♪ 1996 01:21:54,141 --> 01:21:57,144 ♪ BUT I DON'T WANNA GO BACK ♪ 1997 01:21:57,144 --> 01:21:59,213 ♪ WHOAAAA ♪ 1998 01:21:59,213 --> 01:22:01,349 ♪ THOSE WERE THE '90s ♪ 1999 01:22:01,349 --> 01:22:05,253 ♪ I DON'T WANNA GO BACK ♪ 2000 01:22:07,488 --> 01:22:11,025 [ VOCALIZES ] 2001 01:22:15,997 --> 01:22:18,432 [ MID-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS ] 131963

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