Original subtitles

Well! Whatta ya think?

Let's hear it for the Shorty Trio.

Up next, the Mole Brothers.

All right!

All right! Hi folks.

We're the Mole Brothers. Glad to be here.

Mole!

Mole!

Mole!

Mole!

Mole Brothers!

Mole!

Mole!

Mole!

Mole!

Mole Broth -

Now folks...

listen close to what I have to say.

Gotcha.

Listen very closely.

Whatever.

Nice to see you.

You too.

Have a seat.

Who are you again?

Come on!

Ouch! What gives?!

You told me to listen closely.

I did!

So we're listening.

So I'll get talking!

Who do you think you are?

Huh? Who are you, you, you...

I'm Japanese!

Me too!

Next we're gonna do -

Do? Do what?

- Listen up folks. - Uh-huh.

- I'm talking to you, right? - Uh-huh.

I'm talking to you, right?

You said that.

I'm...

a bird. A bird...

You're an idiot!

You're as dumb as they come. Now me? I can do this.

Dum-dum. Dum-dum.

Anybody can do that.

Dum-dum. Dum-dum. Dum-dum.

D-dum!

Du-u-u-m!

Du-u-u-m!

Du-u-u-m!

How dumb!

You started it!

Started what?

What? You started it!

So?

Dum-dum. Dum-dum. Dum-dum. You started it.

I did?

You did.

- Sorry. - Forget it.

- I guess I did. - Yeah, you did.

- Forgive me? - You're forgiven.

- Really? - You're forgiven.

- Totally forgiven? - Totally!

- Everything forever and - - Shut your trap!

I'll kick your ass!

That's better.

Much better.

And well...

What I'd like to say is -

I...

I...

Normally I...

don't talk like this.

Dumb and Dumber!

What do you wanna say?

It's your fault.

Totally.

However, you're harmless.

Thanks for that.

Don't mention it.

- OK, next - - Forget it.

- No, next - - Forget it.

- Listen. - I said, "Forget it".

Let it be. Don't say a thing.

Your babbling never goes anywhere.

It goes somewhere.

Usually nowhere.

When it goes somewhere, it goes like this.

Going, going, gone.

When it goes nowhere...

- It goes like this. - It's going somewhere!

You're jumping in place!

Hey you!

What the hell?

Into the wild blue yonder!

FUNKY FOREST - THE FIRST CONTACT

LITTLE HATARU

Well...

time to get to it.

Homework?

I wish homework wasn't part of life.

Ah, screw it.

LITTLE HATARU - END

THE UNPOPULAR WITH WOMEN BROTHERS

The sea of space is my sea

My unabandoned yearning

The songs of Earth are mine

My unabandoned hometown

Friend Even if we know

The planet has no tomorrow

I'll still protect it and fight

I live without care of my own life

I live without care of my own life

Well?

I don't get it.

Will chicks dig it?

Beats me.

Try thinking like a girl. Use your imagination.

Beats me.

Not, "beats me". Remember think like a chick.

Piss on that.

Chicks don't say that.

Beats me, idiot!

I'm serious! Help me out.

No way!

You can't say that.

No way!

What's with you?! I'm bustin' my ass here. Answer!

Stop fightin' you two! And act like brothers!

Cut it out, Masaru. And you get to bed!

OK.

See what you get.

Heshould get to bed.

I'm serious now. Answer me.

Rest time.

In the eastern sky Pu-pu-pu-pu

Nap time.

Just when I feel good...

just when I think I've changed it's time to go home.

So I want to go longer and longer.

I wanna travel the world all year long.

With you, of course.

Someday I wanna do that.

You can't deny me much longer.

Right?

Right?

Right?

- I wonder. - Too bad.

The good times keep rolling

For the school teacher, eh?

You've only taught for two years, Takefumi.

"Making money is a man's job."

"Women should butt out and stay at home." You said so.

I did?

I expect great things, Boss.

I'm no businessman so stop telling me to make money.

Besides, we aren't married.

Will we?

Wanna?

Just goofin' on ya.

You.

That hurts, Teach.

By the way...

who just touched my foot?

How should I know?

Thinking why is too scary so I'll forget about it.

Think about it. And marriage. At least date me.

We are dating.

No, we aren't.

Not properly.

Properly?

Wanna think it over?

Let's think about it.

I'm Notti.

That's Takefumi.

My English teacher from high school.

We've been friends ever since but not lovers.

But we did go on a trip to Yakushima. (He-he-he)

But we're not lovers.

Physiologically, love hasn't hit me.

Not yet anyway.

The turntable is the cosmos.

A universe in each album.

A journey, an adventure.

A journey, a true adventure.

Journey, adventure.

Journey.

Needles rock. Needles rock.

Music mixer and the mix.

A mixed-up mix. Mix up your journey.

To the next journey.

Mixers rock.

UREI mixers rock more!

Mixers rock.

From that instant Journey

From that instant Journey

From that instant Jour-

From that instant Journey, journey

Why don't we, you know...

Song's almost over.

Go! Takenoko (bamboo shoot)!

The name's Takefumi.

Pump it up.

Really?

It'll be fine.

OK then.

Lame.

Huh?

A lame mix.

Yeah...

'Cause I had the strangest dream.

A dream?

You said you'd do it.

You said so. Now do it.

You said you would, so I didn't.

You want me to?

You said you would, so I'm not.

Just do it!

Katsuichi can do it. He's a genius.

You can do it. No problem.

This female demon.

She's the ticket.

That's the face.

Spring has

Sprung

Sprung today

Is your mind mush?

My heart

Dances cheerfully

The river

Flows

Children are

Screaming

- Mom, can I have some watermelon? - Mom, can I have some watermelon?

Spring has

Sprung

Sprung today

Damnit!

I goofed!

How many times do you! Katsuichi!

I can't do it.

The face is all wrong.

Damnit. I can't.

This ain't the sound.

This one?

That's it.

No, I can do it. No problem.

I can do this.

Now chicks will dig me.

Spring has

BABBLING HOT SPRING VIXENS in ALIEN PIKO-RIKO

I'm not that way at all.

I'm not more-or-less.

See what I mean.

I always thank God above.

Us sales people have to thank somebody, right?

Sales = a thankful face.

I know.

You're in sales so "thanks".

I'm Cuckoo For Cocoa Puffs. But you're too young to get it.

You lost me.

Someday you'll understand.

So "thanks". You see, I'm in sales so.

I'm in sales too.

And I'm always thanking God and everyone for their help.

'Cause we're in sales!

Do you honestly say that? Out loud like that? "Thank God"?

Damn straight I do. To Kannon...

the Buddhist deity of mercy.

She's here!

No, she's, listen this is a good story.

Thank you.

I thought I had enough.

Why am I short?

You look much younger.

You're sweet. But the sweetest thing...

is your smiling face!

Stop it.

Darn it.

Masaru will never forgive me.

Damnit.

Sorry about the noise. Girls will be girls.

- Please bear with us. - No problem.

You're sweet. How old are you?

Well... I turned 39 just yesterday.

That's something to celebrate! Yesterday, huh?

39? You don't look a day over 30.

Here. Congrats.

Girls! Get over here!

This way.

Now put it away.

Yes?

Not yes, but yes-terday.

Yesterday he came here to celebrate his birthday.

What? No, I -

By yourself?

I never said that.

Happy Birthday to You, Happy Birthday to You

Happy Birthday Dear... So-and-so.

Sorry.

I'm Tanaka Katsuichi.

Happy Birthday Dear Tanaga Gazuiji

Be polite.

Like he said.

Happy Birthday to You! Phew!

Oh, thanks!

What a great smile. The kind that lights my fire.

And makes you melt.

Sorry to bother you.

Masaru?

Where the heck are you?

Huh? Oh, there you are.

I solved my cash problem so you don't have to bring any.

Sorry to worry you. Yeah. Huh?

Well, I was given some.

By the girls in the room next door. They gave me 10000 yen.

So I'll have 4600 yen extra.

They saved my ass. Huh?

How should I know?

I dunno but they're, you know... Something about celebrating my birthday.

No, a group of three. They what?

Yeah, they're cute. You what?

Well... No, no, no. No way. No way man. N-n-n-o way. What?

No, we can't have a singles party with them.

No singles party, bro.

What?

A singles picnic?

Alien Piko-riko.

Piko-what?

Piko-who?

Didn't I tell you about Alien Piko-riko?

Is it a true story?

Sure, it's true.

You broke your plastic smile.

Turn the world on with a smile. Take a nothing day and make it -

Bath time?

No, no, no.

Tell us the Nicotine mantis story.

Not the Nicotine mantis.

It's the Piko-riko Alien, Sensei.

Don't call me Sensei.

My parents gave me a precious name, you know.

Don't get me started on my folks.

My friend Takefumi told me this.

One day he was walking home, minding his own business, when...

Takefumi, right?

Yeah. Then a UFO landed on the right side of the hill.

Hold on.

What?

Just like that.

What kind of UFO?

Kind? The glowing, round, UFO kind.

Landed on the right side?

Yep. So he went to check it out...

thinking Alien Piko-riko has landed.

Hold on.

What now?

How'd he know Piko-riko was inside?

Instinct.

Instinct?

He's a bit weird, almost delusional.

Anyhow, the UFO landed and?

And he gets closer thinking "how beautiful" and says...

"Are you Alien Piko-riko?"

And the door opens.

And Alien Piko-riko comes out.

Nope. He never did, so...

Takefumi went inside.

It vanished.

What?

He went inside.

Then he was standing facing the opposite direction.

And it wasn't there?

No, the UFO was here.

But when he went in?

He came out.

I got it. His memory was erased.

I dunno.

He only remembers going in and out.

How real.

Really real.

Its lacking nature makes it real.

Oh, yeah.

This has nothing to do with the UFO but...

incidentally, Takefumi's got two uvulas.

Huh?!

Not one split into two but two split at the base.

The UFO?

Beats me.

He doesn't care about such stuff. Said he doesn't know when it happened.

Still two.

Nice.

Especially the way he doesn't relate the two makes it real.

Interesting. Thanks Nico.

Yeah, thanks.

So bath time?

Wanna go?

How nice. I'd like to meet that Alien So-and-so.

ALIEN PIKO-RIKO - THE END

What're ya gawkin' at?

BABBLING HOT SPRINGS VIXENS in THE BIG GINGKO TREE

I've got a good one. Wanna hear?

Have I ever told you the 4 trillion and 4 hundred story?

Never, right? Wanna hear it?

Huh? What one?

Well, men are...

That feels mighty good.

Forget about them. Forget about them!

They don't matter.

Gingko nuts are tasty, right?

Delicious.

So we decided to grow a Gingko tree.

You planted one?

Yeah. A sapling.

And then you know what? Those trees grow real fast.

Oh really?

Like wildfire.

Up to your waist. So we cut it.

You did.

You cut it?

But where we cut it, a few days later, it grew off to the side.

To the side?

Sideways. So we cut it again because it was in the way.

And then it grew again. Diagonally this time.

Then it grew sideways.

So we cut it.

Then it grew diagonally.

So we cut it.

Then it grew sideways.

So we cut it.

And it grows again. So we cut it.

Over and over again. And the Gingko looks like a curvy water pipe.

So my dad says, "To hell with it." And stopped cutting it.

It grew and grew.

The bottom is all twisty, curvy.

Way huge. The leaves were everywhere.

Nuts landing in people's yards.

Dad couldn't do anything. Every year more people complained.

Everyone said, "Cut it down!"

But Dad held his ground.

It was touch-and-go with the neighbors and...

Dad struggled with it but...

cut it down.

Then he, maybe this big. 3 or 4 centimeters?

He cut it into round slices.

Sanded them down making cutting boards out of them.

He used all the wood so we had loads.

Mom and Dad passed them out to every house on the block.

I don't know if this is true but everyone seemed to love them.

Those cutting boards I mean. And our neighbor problems were solved.

And that's what happened.

Instead of telling us, you should tell that to our customers.

I mean it's a great story.

Yes, I'm all over it.

I mean after all the problems and complaints, the tree...

That very tree made them all happy, right?

Let's eat!

Looks delicious. Let's have a toast.

Cheers.

Cheers to what?

How tasty.

Bamboo shoots?

Delightful.

What's that?

No idea.

THE BIG GINGKO TREE - THE END

Hot.

Hot.

Not hot!

BABBLING HOT SPRINGS VIXENS in BUCK NAKED AND THE PANDA

Ping pong rocks!

How fun. Watch me now!

There's no stopping me. What a match.

Look out Forrest Gump.

Whattya doing?

Playing ping pong by myself.

Let's play together.

Huh? No, I... I... Huh?

Let's play together.

That'd be great!

The ball... Let me take that.

I'll play over here.

And Miss, please go over there.

Sure.

Thanks!

Then what happened?

What happened?

You play ping pong with a guy and that's the end of it?

Ask anyone and they'll tell you the same thing.

Nobody'll think that's a great story!

I didn't tell you because I thought it was great.

Oh, you didn't, did you now?

Who the hell you do think you are?!

Where's that smile now sales girl?

Then what happened?

We played ping pong, finished two sets.

When we were leaving he asked me to a singles picnic.

A "date" picnic?

You going?

A singles picnic?

Would you like to go on a singles picnic?

Wanna hear a good story?

Sure I do.

Me too.

And when we listen, what do we do?

We make our ears like Dumbo and turn on the charm.

This idiot guy Sekiguchi I know says...

- "Ichiko, I gotta great job for you". - Ichiko, I gotta great job for you.

Slapping up posters around town.

Like you know how the posters in store elevators change?

Right? So his friends did that job now and then.

There was this fat, mouthy friend of idiot Sekiguchi named Buck Naked.

Buck Naked?

I have no idea why people called him that but...

he was a real piece of work.

Why so?

A total virgin no matter how you sliced it.

Like his mother dressed him. - I'm no virgin.

He dresses nice but tucks his sweater into his jeans.

How lame.

So we go, "Yo loser, Buck Naked."

He goes, "My belt's expensive!"

Get a clue dude!

To show off his belt.

There's a 100 yen panda ride on the roof.

Buck Naked's a virgin?

Buck Naked said he had dated five girls but...

after grilling him for three hours...

he said he'd only talked to three girls in his life.

He's messed up.

He can't even count.

That liar.

So what about the panda?

Idiot Sekiguchi loved to ride the panda.

And Buck Naked?

So for some reason he's always wants to ride it.

And every time they fight. But Sekiguchi never let him ride.

Goober Sekiguchi.

But one day during a typhoon rain, we played this game where...

the loser had to ride the panda until the music stopped.

You'd get soaked.

The loser could carry a newspaper.

So Buck Naked lost?

Sekiguchi did.

The idiot.

Yep. But Buck Naked always wanted to ride it so...

Sekiguchi says, "I'll let him ride! 'Course he says, "No!"

Of course.

Sekiguchi goes, "I'll pay for it."

Buck Naked goes, "Really?"

Nice touch.

So Buck Naked finally got to "ride" something.

But we locked him outside. And he pounds on the door.

So he goes, "Hey!"

He's pissed and wet holding a soggy newspaper.

You open it?

Nope. "Ride the panda."

We said, "Ride the panda until the music stops."

He goes, "Okay" in a real cheery voice.

We were blown away. When we looked outside...

he was riding the damn thing in the rain.

We laughed our asses off. But the rain was coming in, so we shut the door.

So the music stops and... he's pounding on the door like...

"I rode the panda. Now let me in."

We ended up taking pity on the guy.

Was he angry?

He was soaking screaming, "Quit fucking around."

Naturally.

Idiot Sekiguchi asks, "How was it?"

"Actually I didn't ride it."

That weasel!

Even though he rode it?

We saw him plain as day.

And?

That's it.

Huh?

What! What's so good about that story?

So don't ride pandas in the rain.

Huh?

Quit fucking around. We were seriously listening to that stupid story!

Now you've done it!

Take that!

What!

You bitch!

Please stop it!

Stop it!

BUCK NAKED AND THE PANDA - THE END

Guitar Brother.

Sweet!

Ain't it?

Sweet.

You said it.

You're cool bro.

Oh, thanks.

You think I can play like that?

No way dude.

You think?

Yep.

But if you practice like me you can do it.

Practice makes perfect.

Right?

Dream?

I'm sorry.

Hey Takefumi!

Don't just stand there, dance!

I said, "Dance!"

Notti?

I ain't Notti!

Come on Notti.

Quit horsing around.

That's my line! Fire!

What the hell?

What're you doing!

I said, "Dance!"

Notti!

I said, "Dance" so dance!

Tango with this.

Damn!

I can't do it.

Just do it.

I can't. What's the point.

Are you trying?

Stop it, Notti.

I ain't Notti.

Then who?

I ain't Notti.

Now dance.

Show me your dancing.

Show me your dancing.

Show me your dancing.

Show me your feelings.

Show me your dancing.

Show me your feelings.

Show me your dancing.

Show me your feelings.

Show me your dancing.

Show me your feelings.

Show me your dancing.

Show me your feelings.

Show me your dancing.

Show me your feelings.

Show me your dancing.

Show me your feelings.

- Show me your... what feelings? - Show me your feelings.

What feelings?

Your feelings!

What feelings?

Your feelings!

What feelings?

Feelings are feelings!

What feelings?

Like your feelings for me!

Show me your dancing.

Wake the fuck up!

Are you dreaming again?

About what?

Mountains? Water?

Or is it a secret?

Funny guy

Wake up

Wake the fuck up!

Hold me tight

Here in the depths of your dream

It's fuzzy soft

and flies with the wind

By the way

Could you listen to

my little secret?

Day and night

I think of you

I'm wrecked with love

My virgin heart

its love is pure

Oh my organic days

Hello?

You're still sleeping?

What, what?

Don't get too excited

Were you dreaming of me again?

Maybe

you're lost in dreams, boy?

Hold me tight

Here in the depths of your dream

It's fuzzy soft

and flies with the wind

By the way

Could you listen to

my little secret?

Day and night

I think of you

I'm wrecked with love

My virgin heart

its love is pure

Oh my organic days

Yippie!

Way to go Takefumi. If you try, you can do it!

That's what I wanted to see.

This is the last dance.

Good luck!

What the hell?

Show me your dancing.

How? It's just a face.

Show me your dancing.

Impossible. It's just a face.

I can see it. Its body is dancing.

Huh?

I can see it.

I can too you know.

I can see it.

Nice!

Real nice!

I've felt crappy since I had that dream.

You always feel crappy.

Bang!

Hey you!

Move over.

My lame mix was your fault.

If you'd just date me.

Then everything would be...

I had a strange dream too.

When?

This morning while jogging.

I took a nap and...

Funky Forest!

A SIDE - End

INTERMISSION

B SIDE - Start

Funky Forest!

WANNA GO FOR A DRINK?

Please pull me.

W-what?

Please pull me.

W-what? Is this Candid Camera?

Please pull me.

Please pull me.

Please pull me.

Please pull me.

This isn't Candid Camera, is it?

Please pull.

Pull... this?

Pull this, right?

Here I go.

Here I go.

All right!

Thank you so very much!

Did you clap all 18 times?

Was that all 18?

It was.

It was? Really?

And the jacket? Is it a child's?

Shorts from Daiei?

Yes.

Underwear sticking out?

It is.

Socks stretched out?

Stretched way out.

And your hair.

Is your hair parted properly?

Your face changed.

Excuse me.

Not my face, your hair!

Excuse me!

What do you want?

You'd never believe us...

even if we told you.

Who knows. It's too early to tell.

Excuse me. What -

Show me your navel!

My navel?

Show me your navel.

Even if I tell her she won't believe us.

Tell me what?

It'll take 3 hours -

3:10! It took that long last time.

Have you got 3 hours and 10 minutes?

3 HRS 10 MINS LATER

So you are doing this to save Planet Piko-riko?

Have I got it?

That's it.

She's wicked smart.

So I should stick this in my navel, right?

Please!

That's it.

Here I go.

I can do it for you.

But you'd rather -

Yes!

It slides in easier if you lick it.

Okay.

You were watching?

I don't mind you know.

- Bull's eye! She did it! - Wow! Amazing!

She did it. Now here we go!

Open sesame.

It's a lively one today.

Go for it?

Here I go!

H-h-how? How?

Swe-e-e-e-t.

Sweet? What is?

Got it! Might make it this time.

Can you do it?

Almost got it! Come on. Got it!

It's... it's a big one!

You okay?

Shit.

You angry?

I'm not angry.

You're angry.

I am not angry but...

It wasn't on purpose.

That's not it. When you pulled...

I was behind you. Think next time.

I was wrapped up in the moment.

You angry?

I'm not angry but...

Really?

Really... I lied.

You lied? Really?

A real lie.

I lied.

Really.

Really?

Really lied.

Lied really.

Which is it?!

I wonder. I wonder.

Did I surprise you?

I win! I win!

Your acting is great.

Amazing, huh?

You're not angry, are you?

I wonder.

Not again.

Okay then.

Wanna go again?

Let's go.

Here it comes.

It's... it's a big one!

Oh! It's coming out!

Here it is!

I'm soaked.

How gross. It's always like this.

How gross. I'm soaking. Ew!

Excuse me. I'm a sushi chef from Adachi-ku. Yamada Tamotsu.

Mr. Yamada. Give us the test results.

As you wish!

Fairly fine.

Fairly fine?

Yep, fairly fine.

Well! Whatta ya think?

I... Honestly... I haven't the foggiest...

Well, we're the Shorty Trio. Our act is always like this.

Some days people laugh some days they don't.

Today's skit was adult-oriented so -

I'm sorry. I hogged the moment.

You were fine Yamada.

You were perfect.

Perfect. Takefumi was a bit, you know.

No, you two are always the best.

You were fine. Takefumi was off today.

- Then a small sushi chef came out. - Wait a sec.

He was wearing tight shorts.

- Wait a minute now. Wait. - A doll came out and...

Wait. Just because the first guy in your dream looked like me...

doesn't mean you can't marry me.

I don't get that reason.

Physiologically, I can't.

I'm sorry but I gotta go.

WANNA GO FOR A DRINK? - THE END

Doctor! Emergency! Code red!

Mom? It's me.

You kids are too old for that!

OK!

That's more like it.

Shall we start homeroom? Who's up today?

Me!

Yasuda huh? Please begin.

Stand up!

Ready, set...

Homeroom!

YASUDA'S TURN

I've got something to say.

Guys, I said...

I said I've got something to say.

What's your problem?

Shut up and listen!

Gimme back my shoe. When I got back from gym, it was gone. What the fuck!

How should we know?

What the hell!

Fuck off. I need two shoes for them to be shoes. You got me?

Only one is no good.

Shut up. I can't walk home.

My grandma bought them for me.

Give it a rest, dude.

You give it a rest.

Shut up asshole!

Who you calling asshole?

Oh is that how it is?

Fuck it! Fine! Fine!

What the hell?

Yasuda.

You gonna give up so easily?

You figure?

Besides, you're wearing both shoes.

Busted!

Yasuda!

Sorry!

You fuckin' with my homeroom?

YASUDA'S TURN - THE END

I'm really sorry!

Mom, can I have a watermelon?

Hey.

Hey you.

Don't blow me off.

Masao!

What?

Don't 'what' me! What's he up to?

I dunno.

Dunno? Tell him to can it.

I dunno.

We can't take this shit, can we?

I dunno.

You dunno? Go and stop him.

I dunno.

Go tell him, "Shut up Cueball Head you pain in the ass!"

No.

Don't 'no' me. Can't you agree with me?

No.

Don't 'no' me. Give me some Snickers.

No problem.

Is your mind mush?

My heart

"News-paper"... It starts with an 'n', right?

Got it?

Stop repeating me.

"Family" is spelled wrong.

I'll show you.

Oh, "light" is right.

Who wants noodles?

Me, me!

Cool. Wanna hit it?

What's up?

I was tutoring him.

Tutoring? How brotherly.

Let's go.

You're the problem. You've got no drive. Are you in?

Full of drive? Are you?

You in or out? Your problem...

- You're full of problems! - You're the problem!

- You troublemaker... - You...

Kick ass!

Not only kick ass, you guys rock.

Hey, class prez!

Yes!

What's today's topic?

Greetings.

Go for it.

MS. KIKUCHI, CLASS PRESIDENT'S TURN

Read this.

Greetings...

I can't hear you. Again.

Greetings!

Morning.

Morning.

Good morning.

Good morning.

Good afternoon.

Good afternoon.

What's up?

What's up?

Do-ton-bori river!

Do-ton-bori river!

Don't fuck with me, fuckface.

Don't fuck with me, fuckface.

I'll kick your ass!

I'll kick your ass!

But you're so popular.

But you're so popular.

Are you hitting on me?

Are you hitting on me?

Stop your lying!

Stop your lying!

I can't help myself. I dunno if you love me or not.

I can't help myself. I dunno if you love me or not.

But now I'm so in love.

Yo, class prez! Get serious!

'Cause we're serious you know.

If you don't, there'll be hell to pay. This is a 5050 relationship.

That goes for everyone.

- I'm sorry. - We're sorry.

Okay. No biggie.

Actually, I can't be serious despite how I may look.

MS. KIKUCHI, CLASS PRESIDENT - THE END

Singles picnic

Singles picnic

Singles picnic

The day after tomorrow

YOUTH'S CLASSROOM

How's your dad, Hataru? Is he still alive?

Mine's fine, but...

Saya from North High, her dad's bankrupt.

painting, calligraphy, all her hobbies... gone.

And she looked so well off.

But lately, her uniform's a mess...

it's so... it's not even a uniform.

And her hair, that bedhead. She's probably not bathing.

I think her dad's skipped town.

Her dad was a CEO, right? But with the recession...

I think he went bust.

Poor Saya.

How's a little rich girl gonna survive as a commoner.

Suddenly, she's even poorer than us.

She had this pretty dog.

But now he's gone too.

Something must have happened to her family.

Maybe her dad, you know...

Step back.

Stop.

Ready?

Sticking it in.

Hey, hold on.

Could you pull it out?

When you stick it in...

More to the right.

You okay?

A tad back. What's the size?

Maybe a 6.

I see. More slowly.

Deeper, that's it.

In the middle is the best position.

All right. Right there.

Give me your hand.

Did you check them all?

You mixed this. You didn't check them all.

This is why I asked you to check each one.

Don't 'hmmm' me.

You mixed them up so the facial expression is different from others.

See what I mean?

At least answer me.

Ah.

Ah? When you answer, say yes.

Yes.

It's mixed up so the facial expression is all wrong.

In this case...

pull it here 10 times.

Watch this.

All right, all right.

Now he'll work.

This is the right expression.

See?

Say something, anything. Otherwise we can't communicate.

Do you understand?

You have to check each one.

Yes, yes.

Begin.

OK! Wanna have lunch?

We did it!

No, stop it! Fuck you guys!

Don't storm me like that!

Ouch! Ouch!

Shit! I polished them for an hour!

My shoes! Who did this?

I'm gonna find out, you know!

YOUTH'S CLASSROOM - THE END

Oh, my singles picnic...

Wanna see an elephant?

You should've told me. The zoo will be closed soon.

Wanna go?

Stop doing this, you're not kids!

Okay!

That's what I like to hear.

Let's start homeroom. Who's up today?

mE.

HeLLo Ms. YoSHIko, gO ahEAd.

Su-tan-do appu.

Ready, set...

Homeroom!

YOSHIKO'S TURN

Sitto Daun.

I have something to tell you.

What? What? Tell us.

Earth to Yoshiko.

Please listen to me closely.

We are.

More closely.

We are!

You sure?

Yeah!

Wanna fight?

No way!

Fight with me?

You're on!

Chill out. Take a chill pill.

OK, I'll tell you.

Come on.

Eeii-sha-na-hani-kijo-shakonnai.

Eemoraino-kuakonnai. Akusamettakan. Asanosananonon.

Eeii-sha-na-hani-kijo-shakonnai. Eemoorainokuakonnai.

Akusamettakan. Mettakanshinanono.

Eeii-sha-na-hani-kijo-shakonnai. Eemoorainokuakonnai.

Yoshiko?

Teacher's calling you.

Yoshiko!

Yes?

We spoke about talking backwards, didn't we?

I'm sorry.

Remember, we can't understand what you say.

I'm sorry.

Yoshiko.

Yes?

You wanna tell them something, right?

Yeah.

Go ahead.

May I?

Of course you may. That's why we have homeroom.

Are you okay?

Yeah.

Tell us.

Well, after 8 years of nothing, I finally found a boyfriend.

Way to go!

That's it!

What's all this racket!

Congratulations?! You, you, ahhhhh!

We're studying next door!

Shut your mouths!

Teach them to be quiet!

You call yourself a teacher?

Shut up.

What?

Piss off asshole. We're celebrating!

Don't disturb us, fuckwad!

What?

What?

Yeah! Banzai! Hurray!

YOSHIKO'S TURN - THE END

Kids today suck, you know.

Actor, DOP and artist.

That's what real animators should be but the young only care about drawing.

Animation needs motion.

Technique is important but...

I wish they'd draw something cool.

That's what I said in a film...

for hours, but the scenes were cut out.

Just draw please.

I'm on schedule and doing a fine job.

And my bro's helping.

Please hurry, little brother.

Call me director, could you?

Then I'll draw faster.

But Pero is the director.

Pero? I wonder about that.

I doubt if he thinks of this seriously.

He does.

Doubtful.

Not.

What?

Are you Kazushi?

Yeah.

You know him?

Yeah. Don't ignore me.

I'm busy.

Friends?

We worked at the same place.

That department store.

We worked at a roof beer pub there.

He once tried to kill me.

Right?

A long time ago.

It was a disaster. His glasses, you know.

I stole them.

And changed the lens.

He didn't notice at first.

Says like, "I see better without them."

"My vision's gotten better!" What a fool.

When he figured out, you know the bass guitar?

He hit me with one.

And smashed up the beer pub, remember?

Shut up.

Huh?!

I'm drawing.

What's with that attitude?

Relax, relax. Want tea?

Yeah, I'll make it.

Thanks.

Delish!

Nice reaction.

No way.

It's great to see you again.

How are you?

Good.

So you're in anime production?

Not only anime but films too.

What films?

Keep working.

Why?

Why? We have no time.

You smartass!

What're you bitchin' about?

You were always a smartass.

That's you.

Anyway, he's drawing. You know Pero, this anime director?

And his translator, the big faced guy.

Mr. Hadano.

Sometimes,

I think he's the true director.

Nah, he just transcribes the director's ideas.

He does?

What?

- That's so fishy. - Not at all.

Why?

It's so fishy.

It's not fishy.

Fishy.

What's Pero's nationality?

He's not a person.

A dog.

A dog?

Can a dog direct animation?

Yeah.

Seriously?

So fishy.

Not at all.

Fishy.

Then why do you help him?

Why do I have to do all this?

I draw all these originals alone,

when 20 cuts per person's the norm.

20 years ago, sure... but not now.

A division of labor is important.

Gather the talent and follow the schedule.

That's the way of today.

In spite of it, I'm struggling with tons of lines by myself.

Tons of shots...

Can I delete some?

If you wanna follow the schedule...

That hurts!

Shut up!

You shut up.

I can't follow this schedule...

all alone. Why do I have to do it all by myself?

But you're doing it together.

I have to pay him!

So this 'Pero' person...

Not person, a dog.

A dog.

Um, he's a pretty black dog.

His translator...

reads his mind when...

something dawns on him.

He writes the ideas down.

Sometimes he just guesses...

what the dog is thinking.

A shot of a school.

Got that.

Who is this?

Then a strange figure...

rings the school bell.

What's next?

Okay, I see.

A tracking shot.

Then we make storyboards.

And order the animation.

I see.

That's the process.

Fishy.

Not at all.

So fishy.

Not fishy.

It's a fantasy.

Keep working.

Okay.

By the way.

What?

My bro's having a singles picnic. Wanna come?

Sure! A singles picnic.

And you?

Me? No.

Come on! Even animators need to meet girls. Always.

I won't go.

Yes we'll go.

Right? Huh?

Keep working.

I'm done with this cut.

See you at the picnic.

ANIME BROTHERS, WHO'S THE DIRECTOR? - THE END

THE DAY OF THE SINGLES PICNIC

Masao! Over here!

Want some snickers?

The chicks are coming any minute.

Really?

4 HOURS LATER

Katsuichi!

Fuck you man!

You call this a singles picnic?!

It's a sausage fest.

When'll the chicks come?

Damn it!

Shut up!

Stop throwin' shit!

Give it a rest.

Why? You cheated me!

Sorry.

Oyama, turn on the radio.

Morishita, Morishita.

Sorry. I yelled too much.

It's okay.

I'm sorry.

Forget about it.

Oyama, turn on the radio.

Oh, sorry.

Sorry.

Some wine?

Masao.

What?

Snickers me.

That's not me.

It's you.

It's Masaru.

I don't know anything.

How about you?

No way.

Masaru.

Still playing the chick magnet guitar?

I quit. It was too hard.

Liar. You're still at it. Singing, "I love you."

I don't play like that.

Are you crazy?

Even my bro doesn't know my skill.

Really?

I doubt it.

How about you? Still dancing?

Yep. I'll do anything to get a girl.

Really?

That's the spirit.

But you can't move fast like me...

unless you start early in life.

He dances like this.

Looks like an octopus.

No.

Check it out.

Show us.

No.

Show us!

Show us your dancing! Make some room.

Do it! Do it!

Turn up the volume!

Seems ready.

He's serious.

Can you do it?

He's really gonna dance.

Well?

Marvelous.

Yeah, it was great.

Really?

You're great.

Better than Minnie Mouse!

He'll get a girl.

No doubt.

GUITAR BROTHER SPECIAL - THE END

The Revolutionary Teachers

Raise our pay!

Raise our pay!

Director Pero's is Thinking

THE TRANSFER STUDENT

Raise our pay!

Attention everyone!

It's a transfer student!

Big news!

It's a transfer student!

Oh no!

We must get him!

Be quiet in the corridor.

Be quiet.

Sorry. We're sorry. We're terribly sorry.

Don't apologize. Just be careful from now on.

Just goofin' on you!

I'll never forgive them... ouch!

Hey! Hey!

It's a leg!

Stop it!

Don't tease my leg!

Are you the transfer student?

No. I'm Mr. Paddle, his third disciple.

His third disciple.

So you aren't a transfer?

You aren't?

So you aren't a transfer?

You aren't? You aren't?

What?

Didn't you hear us?

I said I'm Mr. Paddle, his third disciple, you asshole!

And I'm his leg!

I ain't asking you idiot!

What's that?

Answer me!

What did you say?

What?

I declare war!

To be continued.

You'll pay for this!

You can't even defeat me, you dumb trio!

How dare you!

I'm Todoroki Robot.

Raise our pay!

Chance!

Ouch!

Hey!

Teach!

Shut up!

Every time you see a transfer student...

you cause problems for us all.

We're all serious here.

So start being serious too.

Or your future will be in jeopardy.

And you'll be the ones in trouble.

You got that?

Chance!

Ouch!

What?

Let's be friends.

Friendship.

There you go.

Really?

How should I know.

You shouldn't ask me. It's up to you.

I don't know. It's up to you.

I don't know. It's up to you.

I don't know. It's up to you.

End!

The Cop Teacher

Don't park here!

I'll tow it if I wasn't a teacher.

AFTER SCHOOL CLUB

Shall we?

Yes, coach.

I wanna play Minami.

Are you up to it?

Yes, let me play!

All right.

Good.

Minami, you're really good.

Seriously, good.

Great.

Well-made.

Thank you.

How old are you, Minami?

55.

I see. That's good.

Favorite food?

Fried eggs.

Good. Are you married?

Actually, yes.

Good on you, man!

That's really good.

Can you take off your clothes?

Yes, sure.

Sorry for rushing you.

I'll strip. I'm embarrassed.

Don't worry about it.

I feel shy. I really do.

Why?

The lengths are different.

They're fine.

Really?

Why?

I'm ashamed of them.

Huh? No problem.

Really?

Why are you hiding them?

Well...

You don't have to feel ashamed.

Show us.

Don't worry.

Be more confident.

Nice. Real nice.

Really?

Okay then.

Here it comes.

Don't tease me.

Are you game?

You game or not?

Game?

No?

You game?

Yes.

Let it come.

There we go.

One. Two.

Three.

Nice moves, Minami.

Thank you.

Juice time.

Ready?

Go!

OK, OK! Next.

Milk!

OK! Let's take a break.

I'm tuckered out...

Yes.

Are you okay?

Yes.

You were good.

Let me at the bloodsucker.

Are you sure?

Wanna try the bloodsucker?

Yes! I do. I can do him!

Okay. Let's do him!

Go bloodsucker!

Fuck you! I'll suck your blood!

OK. Begin.

The sea of space is my sea

Coach, he's sucking my blood.

You okay? Raise your hand.

He's sucking my blood.

Totally. Don't move.

Hey, Takefumi!

What are you doing?

I'm working. Look.

It's a bloodsucker.

He's sucking away.

Totally sucks.

Go get the school nurse.

Sorry I'm late. I'm Tsuda, the health teacher.

I'm Tanaka.

Are you part-time?

Yes, I am.

This one?

It's in pretty deep. During your practice...

Yes, using Minami.

Hours ago?

Not so much.

Okay.

Hold on.

The suckers will peel off. He's pretty weak now.

I'll just peel it like this.

Wait.

It's upside down.

It'll leave a mark.

Okay then...

I'll try scolding him. That'll do the trick.

I'll peel here. 1, 2...

Hey you! You should be ashamed of yourself.

Who are you?

Shut up, you poor-proportioned midget.

Shame on you.

How can you live with this body? Shame on you.

I'm not ashamed.

Huh?

I'm not ashamed.

You messing with me? You should feel embarrassed!

Why?

And that slime.

Can't you wash your body?

And why suck on this kid's arm, eh?

So what.

Why her?

Do you like little girls?

No way!

Childhood trauma or something?

Were you molested?

No.

So you get off on kids, right?

Not true!

You haven't grown up have you?!

You middle-aged Peter Pan wannabe! I'll kill you.

- I'll push here. - Not there!

I'll push your stomach.

- Don't think I won't! - No. Please don't.

Here I go!

Please stop.

You slimy turd!

What's that?

Ew! Stinks!

Is that normal?

Don't be rude.

I don't think it's working.

Maybe I should take her to the hospital.

Show me your tip.

What's this?

- There's something here. - No!

- Something thick. - It's nothing.

Here it comes!

What's this white thing?

Nothing!

I can take it off.

Stop it!

Shut your mouth!

What's this?

A name stamp?

That's right!

Why do you have...

a name stamp here?

Are you insane?

I'm gonna use your stamp!

Could you give me some paper?

Here you are.

Thank you very much.

Yamada?!

Your name's Yamada?

Shame on you. What a common name! A bad ass bloodsucker named Yamada!

Stop it.

I won't, Yamada!

Yes, my name's Yamada!

Wow!

I think you'll be fine.

Thanks.

You know what?

Sports are dangerous.

Like that bloodsucker.

I can't deal with it.

Wanna quit?

Huh?

This club.

Don't you wanna quit?

Wanna play more?

Wanna try a new club?

- I'm sorry for being rude. - Not at all.

- I didn't know that was the way. - No worries.

I apologize. I'm so sorry.

I should've known better.

I doubted your skill. Are you angry?

No, I'm not angry.

- You're angry, right? - No, I'm not.

- Being angry is only natural.

I'm not, you idiot!

I'm sorry for throwing that. I'm not angry...

I burnt your clothes.

You can get mad.

- I'm not angry. - Sorry.

AFTER SCHOOL CLUB - THE END

I love my after school club!

You fool. There's no Alien Piko-riko.

Shame on you.

Aren't you embarrassed?

What a stupid name, Piko-riko!

They exist.

Prove it! What does a teacher know about aliens?

Stop it.

Alien Piko-riko!

Idiot.

Say it!

"There's no such thing as Piko-riko!"

I don't know why but I'm playing the violin in the forest.

When I thought the sound was strange,

I noticed someone modulating me.

Then I heard the voice of an old man.

Not here.

Gone.

I'm making a pilgrimage to 88 temples...

but where's the first one?

Hello?

Excuse me?

Hello?

Can you hear me?

What?

What are you doing?

Recording.

Recording?

"The Volume" Live Concert.

The Volume?

There.

Is there a temple 'round here?

Beats me. I came here from Kumamoto.

I'm lucky 'cause this is a rare live show.

I like Kumamoto's noodle.

Tasty.

But here in Hokkaido, I'll try their noodles.

Hokkaido?! Are we in Hokkaido?

You're Okinawan, eh?

I thought this was Shikoku!

Come and see their gig.

Might as well.

Is recording your hobby?

My big bro's influence.

Thanks.

Volume!

Volume!

Volume!

What a strange dream.

The strangest thing is: we're still dating even though we aren't dating.

A UFO!

UFO?!

Which? Which?

Where? Where?

USO (I lied).

USO (I lied).

USO (I lied).

USO (I lied).