Original subtitles

[foghorn blowing]

[car horns honking in distance]

[tinkling and shaking]

[siren wailing]

[pencil scratching]

- I guess I've been asleep for most of my life.

Oh, there were moments of clarity,

flashes,

snapshots in time.

But overall, a long slide through dreamland.

But wait. That's me.

I do remember that

and that.

Those were good times.

The artist as a young man.

The world was my oyster.

[radio static buzzing]

[airplane engine roaring]

But, you know,

I wondered about it, even then--

the success,

the adulation.

Was it real?

Did I deserve it?

Or was I an imposter?

I mean, I did the work.

Well, I did some work.

But when it all fell away,

it was almost a relief,

a validation of my suspicions about myself.

Then what are you left with

when all that dries up?

Alcohol? Women?

I went there, big time.

It seemed harmless at first.

[crashing]

Then I almost lost it all,

everything,

even my lovely wife, Mary.

Ask her.

She'll tell you.

I miss it.

She knows I do.

The glory days.

So when the guys next door

rented out their guest house to Mary's pal Sherrie,

I can't say that I didn't notice.

I mean, come on.

But around here, it seems like everyone's got their issues,

even me.

Because, I admit it,

sleep,

it can be nice.

[phone ringing]

[answering machine beeps]

- Tucker, it's Warren.

So what happened to the deadline?

To say we need to talk is an understatement.

- [groaning] [answering machine beeps]

[birds chirping]

[doorbell rings]

- Can you get that?

Sam?

[mid-tempo music]

- [sighs]

*

- Is this yours?

- It looks like it.

- We heard you out there.

- Where?

- Outside the window.

[scoffs] You degenerate.

Next time, we turn you in.

*

- What was that?

- Um, the guy from next door

brought back our flashlight.

- Oh, he borrowed it?

- Not exactly.

Is this ours?

- I don't know.

Ooh, I got to go. I'm late.

Bye.

*

[upbeat music]

*

[tapping on door]

*

- Here's your fucking flashlight.

- Hey, watch your language.

- This is ours.

You think I was spying?

What's wrong with you?

- Is there something wrong with us?

- Don't do that. You're not baiting me.

I got plenty of gay friends,

and I'm not putting up with it from you or your associate.

[dog barks]

[birds chirping]

[bluesy music]

*

[keyboard clicking]

[woodpecker pecking]

[pecking sound continues]

[keyboard clicking]

[squirrel squeaking]

[motor puttering]

[motor revving]

[leaf blower whirring]

[muffled whirring]

[sighs]

[muffled rapid pecking sound]

[dog barking, leaf blower whirring]

[rapid tapping]

[upbeat bluesy music]

*

- [on TV] One, two, three.

One, two, three.

One, two, three.

[phone ringing]

- Hey.

- What you doing?

- Nothing. I'm just driving home.

- Can I tell you again how much I love this place?

- Oh, I'm so glad.

Hey, what about the hot Italian guy?

- He's still hot. - Yeah?

Like a meatball sandwich, huh?

- Meaty and sweaty and--

- Okay, all right, got it.

Can't wait to meet him.

Sam.

Sam, we--we're gonna be late.

- She's my sister, so...

[indistinct chatter, laughter]

- She's done a really good job.

[indistinct chatter, laughter]

- You one of the staff here?

- Oh, my wife.

Just recently.

- Congratulations.

- She just renewed her license.

- The one with the orange?

- Mm-hmm.

[electronic music]

- Everyone seems to really like her.

- [speaking indistinctly]

[laughter]

[relaxed music]

- I'm Sam.

- Mike.

- What's your connection here?

- Senior Therapist.

*

I retire in two months.

- Good for you.

- Thanks.

- Although I don't know if I'd ever personally use that word--

retirement.

A lot of people would say I'm retired already.

Nothing much would change, so...

Are you looking forward to--

*

- Did you have a good time?

- It's not really my crowd.

- Yeah, what's your crowd?

- Good point.

You?

- I did. I had a nice time.

- You're sure you're okay with it,

going back to work?

- Oh, Sam, come on.

I'm working,

and I'm excited.

[mid-tempo music]

*

- Come on.

Don't be stupid.

- Don't insult me.

- Things won't always be so good.

- You think I don't know that?

- So appreciate it.

- I need more. - Than a roof over your head?

- You know what I'm talking about.

You know exactly!

- But we're doing fine.

We're doing so well.

- "So well" falls very short.

[melancholy percussive music]

*

[door slams]

*

[electronic chime]

[phone ringing]

[answering machine beeps]

- Tucker, it's Warren.

I'm taking some real heat here.

They're gonna kick it over to legal.

I can't protect you,

not this time.

[answering machine beeps]

- Sam, I thought you said you were gonna call him back.

- Oh, I did. I, um, I left him a message.

- Legal?

- He exaggerates.

He's an agent.

- All right, have a good day.

- You too.

[bluesy music]

*

[water running]

*

[water running]

*

[doorbell rings]

[clears throat]

- Hi.

I came to apologize.

- Don't worry about it.

- That flashlight could have been there for a while.

The batteries were dead.

Maybe we heard a skunk.

[birds chirping]

[motor revving]

I'm on my way to the post office,

but to make amends, may I buy you a coffee?

[whirring]

- Jane.

Hi, I'm Mary Tucker.

Do you want to come on in?

Okay, I'm gonna step back in my office.

You come in when you're ready.

[electric guitar music]

*

- So you're the wife, like me?

- Well, I'm not sure I would describe it like that.

- No, no, no, of course not.

- But Paul would.

And the crazy thing...

I have no idea how I arrived here.

Paul, Paul has a job.

Paul has a life.

- You don't have a life?

- I suppose I do,

but...boring.

- What's your thing?

- Literature.

Critical studies.

But my dream...

photography, fine art.

I'll own a gallery someday.

- That's pretty specific.

Did you study it?

- No, but I've got applications everywhere.

Paul has friends in high places,

but he needs me at home.

[sighs]

But enough about me.

What about you that you can be at the house so much?

- Oh, I stay pretty busy.

- And if you don't mind my asking...

- I write.

- How exciting.

- Graphic novels.

- Anything I might have seen?

- Well, my first, some years ago,

was called Grand Central.

- Oh, my God.

Sam Tucker?

What happened?

- What?

- You know what they say, Never meet your heroes.

- That doesn't sound good.

- You were a chapter of my dissertation.

I devoured you.

Until Bluebird.

- Ha, fair enough.

- So what are you working on now?

- Truthfully?

- Of course.

- Nothing.

- I don't understand.

- I'm kind of stuck right now.

Howie sits.

- Howie?

- My protagonist.

- So let's talk about it.

- Talk?

- Of course. [cell phone ringing]

- Um, excuse me.

[ringing continues]

[cell phone beeps] Hello.

- Hey, how's your day going?

- Good.

- Yeah, what are you doing?

- Slogging along. [train rattling]

- What's that noise?

- I came down to the crossing.

- With your laptop?

- Yeah.

- Does that battery work?

- I plugged it in.

- You sound weird.

- Will you stop saying that?

[gentle music]

*

[birds chirping]

*

[sound of airplane flying over]

*

[pencil scratching]

*

[music fading]

- [sighs]

Good night.

- Night.

[sighs]

[bluesy music]

*

Okay, Howie, give it up.

*

You got anything?

*

[scoffs]

*

[muffled upbeat rock music]

*

[woman singing indistinctly]

*

[sighs]

*

[sighs]

*

[music stops]

[sustained note]

*

[note intensifies]

*

[melancholy music]

*

*

[birds chirping]

[dog barking]

[whirring]

[microwave beeps]

[microwave whirring]

[birds chirping and cawing]

[dog barking]

[birds twittering and chirping]

[squirrels squeaking and chittering]

[birds chirping]

[bee buzzing]

[birds chirping]

[bird whistling]

[footsteps patting]

[birds chirping]

[funky bass and percussive music]

[person sighs]

[whistle blows]

[lively music]

*

[faucet squeaks, water stops running]

*

[music stops]

- Oh.

- [on TV] Today we're making peppered pork

with a cognac pan sauce.

So let's start with our fresh ingredients,

a mélange of peppercorns, fennel,

garlic, vegetable oil, sea salt,

and a flawless 5-pound pork butt.

[woman moaning]

- Oh. Ah. - Oh, yeah, yeah.

- Oh, yeah.

Oh!

[moaning]

Oh, yeah. Yeah. [phone ringing]

Oh, yeah.

[sighs]

- [sighs] [ringing continues]

[answering machine beeps]

- It's Warren.

So they did it. It's with legal.

They're gonna sue.

They want your advance back and now damages on top.

You could have prevented this any number of ways.

I'd appreciate any kind of goddamn response.

[answering machine beeps]

[melancholy music]

*

[doorbell rings]

*

[birds chirping]

- [sighs]

- So what's this about, Sam?

Do you like what you see?

- I have no idea how to answer that.

- You feeling a little funny in your pants?

[door clicks]

[bluesy music]

Sam?

[bluesy guitar music]

[person exhales]

*

What are you doing in there?

*

[door handle rattling]

*

[footsteps tapping]

*

[door creaking]

[ice cream truck music]

*

[horn honks]

*

- Hey, Tucker.

The usual?

- Make it a double.

*

- You okay, man?

- Yeah, you know.

I just woke up.

- That's the life.

*

[leaf blower whirring]

*

- Found it.

The dissertation.

"After his first two works were largely overlooked,

"Samuel Tucker began to fear that there was no appreciation

"for the serious artist

"in a culture obsessed with constant stimulation.

"So the agenda for the third book, Bluebird Sky,

"a collaboration with then novice Andrew Koch,

"was to dumb it down and to incorporate

"humorous reportage on contemporary society

"along with more broadly drawn characters.

"The novel was overshadowed by the derivative motion picture

"which opened to mixed reviews,

"but they attracted a crass mass-market audience,

which was not at all the kind of following Tucker coveted."

- Wait a minute.

You make me sound...

elitist.

- Hello.

[gasps]

Did you meet the actors?

- I refused to go to the set. - You dolt.

- It was sophomoric.

- Parts were so funny.

The miniature golf scene, come on.

- Fine.

- [scoffs]

I love miniature golf.

[bright acoustic guitar music]

*

- Shit.

Now what?

- Like the nice man that you are,

you wait for my turn.

*

- Yeah. - What the hell?

- I thought you were good at this.

[water splashes]

- You know, Paul and I have such a hard time making friends.

- How did you meet?

- Online.

- How long has it been?

- Two years, a month, four days.

- And you hit a rough patch.

- I'm holding on to someone else.

- Who?

- My darling, Jack.

Now the bastard sends an email.

[bright acoustic guitar music]

[pencil scratching]

*

[pencil scratching]

*

[door thuds]

- Hey.

*

- Wow.

- When was the last time I told you

how much I appreciate you?

- I can't remember.

- That's exactly what I thought.

Peppered pork.

- Nice.

*

Looks like you're enjoying yourself.

They're good.

- You know what? I am.

I had a pretty good day.

- How much have you had?

- There's the bottle.

Check it out.

- Sorry.

Can I help?

- Suit yourself.

- I'll set the table.

[percussive music]

*

[phone ringing]

- Hey.

- Hey, were you home today?

- I was.

- Did you notice anything?

- What do you mean?

- At our house.

- Uh, no.

- Sam's acting weird.

*

There was this lip gloss.

- That is weird.

- Yeah, and two tea cups.

- Hmm.

- Passionate Peach.

- [laughs]

That is not something I would use.

- So it wasn't you.

- Well, I did come by for a beer.

- A beer?

- Mar, Sam,

he seems so depressed.

He's at that age where he wants to shake it while he can,

make hay, wild oats,

you know, or at least feel like he could.

Can he?

- That's really personal.

Of course he can.

- I'll be honest. I've thought about it.

I have. - Thought about what?

- Sex.

- With my husband?

- Come on. It's just a fantasy.

- Okay, you know what? Forget about it.

Clearly I can see this was a mistake.

- Why?

- You're still a mess.

[line beeps]

- Bon appétit.

- Cheers.

- Did something happen at work?

- No, work's fine.

It's good, actually.

Are you depressed?

- Do I look depressed?

- You do have some of the symptoms.

- Okay.

- All right, look. Here's the deal.

Is there something that you need to tell me?

I mean, I don't know.

Is something going on?

- No.

- Are you sure?

What's this?

- Oh, that.

It's, um, you know, Jeff.

- Jeff? - Next door.

- Is that the truth?

- Of course it's the truth.

- And Sherrie?

- Yeah.

I mean...she stopped by.

- Why?

- I don't know. She was just doing her thing.

- Yeah? What were you doing?

- Come on.

I mean, there's flirtation there, of course.

I admit it, but it's flattering,

nothing more.

Are you okay?

- I don't know.

Am I?

- It's harmless.

- I'm not hungry.

- [sighs] Well, that went well.

[Skype tone]

[Skype ringing]

[Skype tone]

- Hi.

- Hi.

- Today's the 15th.

- It's the 16th over here.

- I can't wait to see you tomorrow.

- Me too.

Well, I was just leaving the apartment, Sherrie.

I'm sorry.

You know, so much to do before I leave.

- That's okay.

Then I'll see you tomorrow.

- Ciao.

[Skype tone]

- Ciao.

[Skype tone]

- So can we talk when I get home tonight?

- Absolutely.

- All right. I got to go.

- Well, skedaddle.

- So have a good day.

Hey, Sam, I mean that.

- You too.

[upbeat music]

*

[gentle music]

*

- How are you doing today?

- [sighs]

Mostly...

I just hate you.

- What do you hate about me?

*

Okay.

*

I like your chain. I noticed it earlier.

*

But it's broken. What does that mean?

*

- Freedom.

*

- It was groundbreaking,

in regards to the style

and the kind of stories you told.

- Drover Boy?

It was about a cattle drive in the Australian Outback.

- Such a sweeping, romantic canvas.

The crossing of an entire continent

while searching for the boy.

- Who is a girl.

- Dressed as a boy.

Believe me, when you're 17 and coming out,

you'll take inspiration in whatever form it comes.

Oh, and all that delicious description

about what he sees along the way,

from a man.

- You mean the drover?

- You.

- I don't know.

God, I haven't thought about that in a long time.

[electronic beeping]

- Where did that come from?

- God only knows.

- From high in that ivory tower of yours.

- Give me a break.

[electronic beeping]

Damn.

You aced me.

- Of course I did.

- Do you care for tuna melts?

- I've never had one.

- Oh, then it's settled.

- Groundbreaking.

[upbeat instrumental music]

*

- Hi.

- Hey.

You went late.

- Yeah, I did.

What are you looking at?

- My roots.

- That's good.

I called you today.

- Well, I never heard it ring.

- Did you see this?

- Nope.

- Andy Koch won the Hugo.

- Goddamn it!

Oh, he's a fucking slime.

[pounds] He ruined Bluebird.

- You never said that before.

- I'm saying it now.

- Look, Sam, there's probably

a more constructive way you could look at this.

- Please. What am I, one of your kids?

- You know what? Forget about it, okay?

I'm just trying to help.

[melancholy music]

*

- Hey, um...

I'm really sorry.

It's my problem.

I get that.

*

Mary?

*

[bluesy rock music]

*

- Come here.

- [laughs]

- That's the one I used to love, that skirt.

First time we went out.

- Tell me more.

- Weren't we supposed to talk?

[pencil scratching, panting]

[buzzing]

[slap]

- What was that? - You said you wanted it crazy.

- Oh, Sam. - [moans]

- Oh, shit.

- [grunting]

- Me too. [both moan]

Where'd you learn that? - TV.

*

- Oh, my God, Sam.

[musical flourish]

[music stops]

[bird chirps]

[phone ringing]

- Hello.

- I finally read it.

- What?

- Jack's email!

- You never looked at it?

- 'Cause I knew. Of course I knew.

He wants me to visit.

- Oh.

Then maybe you should.

- What? - You said it yourself.

You're holding on. Maybe this'll help.

- Let's go for it. - Me?

- Sammy, if I don't go now, I never will.

[engine grinding]

- It does this sometimes. - We're already late.

- Let's take yours. - I don't own one.

- The Mustang? - No, that's Paul's.

I can't touch it. - Oh.

You really are the housewife.

- Oh, screw you.

- Plan B.

- Morning.

- [clears throat]

- Oh, hi.

[bright instrumental music]

[man vocalizing]

*

- It's right over there.

Upstairs.

- What do you need, about an hour?

- How long does it take?

[lively music]

- So, Sam.

- Yeah. - What goes through your head?

- When?

- When you watch me.

- Come on.

*

It just happened once.

- Do you touch yourself?

- What? - Masturbate.

- No.

- Why not? - It's against my religion.

- [laughs]

Haven't you ever wanted to have a fully open conversation

with a member of the opposite sex?

No agenda? - Maybe.

But I never thought about it enough to want to pursue it.

- Oh, come on.

Now is your chance.

*

So?

[slurps]

- [laughs]

- Okay, sometimes I do...

later.

- What?

- What you asked.

- Oh. [giggles]

What do you think about?

- I think about a lot of different things, you know.

- And when you're having sex?

- Okay, like, sometimes...

well, I'll think about burgers.

- Hamburgers?

- Yes.

- [laughs]

- When I'm getting a little too,

you know, excited,

and I don't want to...

- Go on.

- Well, it's like they're on the grill,

you know, and they're grass-fed.

There's not much fat, so you only need

about two or three minutes a side,

and then you flip them over.

- And if you're losing it?

Yeah.

- Well, then, I think about something...

- Sweet and sexy?

- Yes.

- Like...me?

- No, the thought never entered my mind.

- Oh, please. I know what you think.

I can see it in your eyes.

- You can?

- You are totally busted.

- Okay, fine.

Then I don't have to lie about it.

- I'm down with that.

- You are.

- You're a man.

I'm a woman.

It doesn't mean that we're doing anything.

- Mm-hmm.

- This is awesome.

- This? - Conversation.

- It is.

It's kind of good. - Mm-hmm.

- Liberating. - Yeah.

Because I wonder,

sometimes guys, they just turn off,

you know, for no reason.

So what's it like for you,

getting older?

- What?

- I mean, is-- is it really the same?

- Yeah.

I'm gonna wait outside.

[melancholy music]

*

[Jeff speaking indistinctly]

*

- Thanks.

- Mm-hmm.

Do you ever just want to have a conversation?

With no agenda.

- You have questions?

- I don't know. Do you?

- Do you have a week?

So you do.

- Well...

What's it like for you to notice less attention

as the years go by?

- You don't think I'm attractive?

- Sure I do.

- Oh, God, you think I'm old?

- Of course not.

I think you're beautiful.

- Oh, come on, Sam.

You don't have to say that.

- I'm not just saying that.

So, what, is that what this is about, huh?

- Yeah, people treat me differently.

- People?

- Yeah.

- Oh, you mean women.

- People.

- How does that make you feel?

- Come on, you know how it makes me feel.

I'm just seeing it, you know?

Time's marching on for all of us.

- Of course it marches on.

I just try not to dwell on it.

- But we need to.

I mean, don't you ever want to just stop and smell the roses?

- Roses? What?

Oh.

You mean young tender buds, huh, like her.

- No, that's not my point at all.

I want to wake up!

- Are you angry with me?

- How? - I don't know.

Is this some sort of male/female thing

because I make more money than you?

- I'm making no money!

- Forget it. I don't want to go there.

- And I'm grateful. - For what?

- For you supporting me.

- Look, in the beginning, that's what it was.

We needed the money.

I actually like my work.

In the room,

I feel connected to people.

It's...

[sighs]

It's very intimate.

- And that's what you don't get here?

- That's a good question.

I'm not old.

[hamburger sizzling]

[sighs] Crap.

[funky electronic music]

*

*

[melancholy music]

*

[knock at door]

*

- Oh, Sammy.

- Are we playing?

- Don't you need to create?

- I'm six months late.

What's another day?

- I told Paul.

Four years ago,

I had gone in for a checkup,

and, lo and behold...

[sighs]

It turned out I was positive.

But I couldn't believe it, you know?

How did it happen? I had been careful.

And when I asked him,

Jack denied everything.

No, sir, not him.

- He lied?

- I didn't think so.

But three days later, he broke up with me.

Zip.

- And the email?

- He wanted to come clean.

- So...

now you're done with it?

- Sammy, I have to be.

- So how are you?

- Well, okay, I guess.

In a way, I'm fine.

- I am so sorry, Jeff.

I had no idea.

And Paul?

- He's good.

That's the problem.

- That's a problem?

- It's that I'm not.

- I have it; he doesn't.

It's a bitch, you know?

And what's he got to look forward to?

- But he knew, right?

- From the absolute beginning.

- So maybe he loves you.

The little I get, it feels very deep.

- That's it, isn't it?

Love.

That's what you write about.

[gentle music]

*

- I have a theory.

It's a zero-sum game.

- Love?

- For every joy, there's a sorrow.

You and Jack connect, but that's pain for Paul.

You and Paul bring sadness to Jack.

On the one hand, there's joy.

On the other,

not so much joy.

In the end, everything's equal.

- You're such a loser.

- Why?

- Well, if that's all it is, we should all slit our wrists.

No, what you're offering is only part of it.

You're leaving out the inspired act,

you know, the impassioned leap forward,

the preemptive strike of the samurai.

Granted, it's a shaky progress,

but progress nonetheless.

- How do you know?

- Because I, too, have a theory.

- [chuckling]

- One step forward, a half step back,

but definite movement.

Like Jack sends an email, you propose to Mary.

- You knock on my door.

- Exactly.

That's love too.

- Maybe you're right.

I hope you are.

[gentle acoustic music]

*

- I think I saw him

on the river.

- You did?

- He's homeless, and his name is James.

He's got a new name now.

- James. - Mm-hmm.

And he's very surprised to be there.

- He doesn't know why he's there?

- No, he knows why,

but he has this kind of wake-up moment.

*

[lock clicking]

- Sam?

[bluesy acoustic guitar music]

*

[phone ringing]

*

[ringing continues]

[inhales sharply]

Oh, God.

[ringing continues]

- Hello?

Honey Bear?

- Hey, it's me.

- Hey.

- How's it going?

- Pretty good.

- Yeah, what are you doing?

- Working away.

- How's Howie?

- James.

He's James now.

- James?

- Yeah, he's changed.

- Why?

- Well, he was stuck.

- Stuck how?

- Mute.

Immobile.

- Is he stuck now?

- He feels unfettered.

- Well, that's no surprise.

- What do you mean?

- Yeah, because I'm actually home right now.

- You're home?

- I'm standing in the house, Sam.

You know, and correct me if I'm wrong,

but you and James are remarkably absent.

Where are you?

[upbeat folksy music]

- I'm next door.

*

Mary? Mary!

Aw, Mary, come on. Come on.

*

[pencil scratching]

[tires squealing]

[melancholy music]

*

[crickets chirping]

*

[clock ticking]

*

*

[books thud]

[footsteps patting]

Are you tipsy?

- Not nearly enough.

- What about the car?

- Sherrie drove.

We talked...

a lot.

- Great.

[door thuds]

[sighs]

[sighs]

- So why do you lie?

- You mean today?

- Yeah, you want to start with Sherman Oaks?

- That's easy.

Jeff really needed to see Jack.

- And you?

- Well, he needed support.

He's my friend.

- Your new friend.

So you couldn't just tell me?

You know, you couldn't just say, "Honey,

"I need to go to Sherman Oaks

"'cause Jeff, my new friend,

"needs to have closure with his lover,

and he wants me to hold his hand"?

"Oh, and, by the way, we're gonna pick up Sherrie

so she and I can talk about fucking all afternoon."

- Well, you see why I couldn't say anything?

I mean, Jesus, that sounds bad.

- It is bad. - Look, Mary.

You know, I'm supposed to be doing this--this thing,

working, being successful.

- Says who?

- Me!

And you and the situation, you know?

There's a lot of pressure. - How?

- You're calling all the time,

and Warren's calling,

so I turned off the phone.

- But I call to encourage you.

- And you have expectations.

- Okay.

Fine, I do.

But, Jesus,

you could be a little bit more forthcoming.

- I am trying to be,

but what can I tell you?

I'm--I'm a guy!

- Jeff's a guy!

You talk to Jeff.

Jesus, what is he, your muse?

- No, but I got to tell you,

it's amazing, because we really talk quite a bit.

- Wow.

[chuckles mockingly]

Thanks a lot.

Anyway, that's... [chuckles]

That's what worries me,

'cause you know where talking gets you, huh?

Look where it got us.

- Oh, come on.

I'm not gonna fuck Jeff.

I am really not interested.

[bass music]

[melancholy music]

*

[Skype tone]

*

[Skype ringing]

*

- [chuckles]

*

I am an asshole.

- [chuckles]

- Did you get my message?

*

- Can you just...

show me the room?

*

Just do it.

Walk to the bed.

- Okay.

*

Is that okay?

*

- I just wanted to see it one last time.

*

[Skype tone]

[water running]

[melancholy acoustic music]

*

- Hey, you okay?

You want to talk about it?

*

Is there something I can do, anything I can do,

to make it up to you?

- Yeah, you can stop lusting after the neighbors.

I'm serious, Sam. I don't get it.

You're all over the place, you know?

What is this, some sort of midlife crisis?

- Midlife crisis, that hurts.

- Well, it's real.

- Well, she does put it out there.

- Who?

- Your pal, Sherrie.

- What are you talking about?

- In the backyard.

Au naturel.

- You stalk her?

- You know, it would be impossible not to.

- What, like over the fence?

- The window.

[light bluesy music]

And not an ounce of fat.

*

- There is actually something you can do for me.

I left my book bag in the car.

*

- [grunts]

*

Keys?

- It's unlocked.

*

[door thuds]

*

- What are you doing?

*

Damn it.

Hey.

Hey, you can't do this.

- You just earned a big time-out.

- An almost naked time-out?

I don't think so.

[pounding]

Mary.

[taps]

- [loud whisper] Sammy.

[normal voice] Are you okay?

- She locked me out.

- Well, aren't you freezing?

- I really haven't had a second to think about it.

- Well, come inside.

- No, I don't think that's a good idea.

- Oh, come on.

- Well.

[sighs]

[indistinct chatter]

- What?

- Thank you.

[bass drum music]

*

[clears throat]

- So...

to what do we owe the pleasure?

*

- She threw me out.

- Domestic dispute?

- You could say that.

- Over?

*

- She's confused.

- Yeah?

*

- Uh, well, we've been spending some time together.

- We?

- He and I and Sherrie, you know, from the back.

*

- I understand you escorted Jeffrey to the Valley.

- Yeah.

- To see an old partner.

- We did.

- You wouldn't consider that a big fuck-you to me?

- He really needed to-- you know, and I thought--

No, wait a minute. It wasn't against you.

- Are you getting some with Jeffrey?

- Of course not.

- With the new hottie?

- Well, that's none of your business, is it?

*

- Stand up.

- What?

- Up.

*

Up.

*

Turn around.

[bass drum and percussive music]

*

[both laughing]

[claps]

- Okay, what's so funny?

- You're not his type.

- Obviously.

- I mean--no, I mean, I'm not his type,

but you...

I hope I have half your game when I'm your age.

[laughs]

- Was that a compliment?

- I believe that it was.

- That's pretty confusing.

- You want to talk?

- Do we have to talk now?

- No, Sammy, we don't.

It's been a very long day.

Can I get you some clothes?

[melancholy piano music]

*

[pencil scratching]

*

[horn blowing]

[pencil scratches]

[siren wailing]

[pencil scratches]

[owl hoots]

[pencil scratches]

[comet whooshes]

*

[tinkling]

[crickets chirping]

*

- Is he gonna survive?

- I think.

- He seems...

defeated.

- Depressed.

- Why depressed?

- He's an artist.

- Corey Heinz is looking for an intern.

- At the Contemporary?

- It's minimum wage.

- I don't care.

Oh, my God, should I call him?

- I threw your name in the hat.

- You did?

When?

- This morning.

[light rattle]

- [startled gasps]

- Shh.

Shh.

- Okay.

- Peeping Tom.

- What the hell?

For real?

- You could have just knocked.

- I know. I'm sorry. I just...

I wanted you to come home.

- Because you-- - Because we're married.

Or maybe that's no big deal to you.

- Of course it is. I asked.

You accepted.

We had a ceremony.

- All right, so could you please just come home

and value it with some integrity?

- What are you talking about?

I do, every day.

- You do? What does that look like?

- What do you mean?

- I mean honesty and openness, no matter what.

- I try!

I do, but every time, we just--

I have no idea what I could say

that's gonna make any difference in this situation.

- That is so you to give up.

You know, just when you're on the brink of something,

you just give up.

So guess what. Now it's my turn.

[melancholy instrumental music]

I'm sorry.

*

[exasperated sigh]

*

- She's right.

I let her down...

in so many ways.

- You have to tell her...

what's going on in the ivory tower.

- There's nothing going on.

- Is that the truth?

- In a way, you know...

there's a lot going on.

- Yes.

- Like even here, you and I,

the things that we talk about,

they're like...

They're parts of myself

that I've put aside and literally forgotten.

Like my passion, I mean, where did that go?

- Did it walk out the door?

- No, I'm not putting that on her.

It's mine.

It's me,

and I lost it.

- Then maybe it's time for the inspired act,

the preemptive strike of the samurai.

Take a stand for yourself

and what you want.

[gentle music]

*

- I got to go.

*

Thanks, Jeff.

[crickets chirping, dog barking]

[bluesy acoustic guitar music]

*

[pencil scratching]

*

- Hi.

- [sniffles]

- Why are you here?

- [sighs]

I want to tell you that I feel bad for lying to you

and taking advantage of you and for not owning up,

and I'm doing my best, right now,

to just keep talking

and not disappear.

- Do you want out?

- Of--of what?

- Us.

- No, not in the least.

- Are you sure?

- It's the one thing I'm absolutely sure of.

Do you?

- I don't know.

I really don't.

I know I don't want it like this.

- I can understand that.

- [sighs]

So why are you making everything so miserable?

- You know, it's been six years since Bluebird,

and honestly Bluebird was shit!

Each year, it gets harder and harder.

I don't know if I have what it takes, you know,

that thing, that shimmer, you know?

I don't even know if what I have to say is relevant any more.

I mean, I used to be on fire.

Now I'm like a washed-up stay-at-home.

- What does that even mean?

You used to be the guy that said to me

that if you could speak to the heart of one person,

it was worth it.

That was Sam Tucker.

*

What happened to that guy?

*

- He got scared.

- Of what?

- Of everything.

Of failing!

Failing to provide,

failing to be vital, compelling,

failing to make you pregnant.

You know, it's easy to be cocky when you're 20,

but I don't feel that way anymore.

- Well, who does?

Jesus, you're in the shit-or-shut-up years.

*

So what do you see?

- I create exactly what I fear.

- Yeah, I can see that.

- What do you see?

- I'm disappointed.

I'm really disappointed.

I mean, I could dig in at work and be happy.

I could.

But I don't want that.

I want it at home with you,

you know, with us.

[gentle acoustic guitar music]

*

[pencil scratching]

*

[bird chirping]

[light buzzes]

[bright instrumental music]

*

*

- I guess I've been asleep for most of my life.

[ice cream truck music]

And waking up doesn't happen all at once.

[piano and percussive music]

It's a hell of a fight back to the surface,

and nothing is certain.

You might not make it.

- Tucker, regular?

- Hey, wait a minute.

You got a orange Creamsicle?

- Yeah.

- It takes, well,

okay, love mostly.

Yeah, that.

[leaf blower whirring]

I guess that is what I write about,

when I write.

You never know from where it will come...

- [chuckles]

- Or where it will land.

Across an entire continent?

Across the river?

Across the fence?

[bright instrumental music]

[pencil scratching]

So let it in.

- Let it go.

Don't disappear.

*

[zapping]

*

[light bell music]

*

[upbeat instrumental music]

- * There comes a day

* Without warning

*

* And it keeps on slowing

* Like the river

*

* I walked away

* Without knowing

* And I keep on going

*

* Like a blind sheep

*

* So strange

* So unruly

* So close

* So familiar

*

* There comes a day

* In the storming

* For the banks overflowing

*

* Taking down the stone

* Oh, without warning

*

* Oh

* Without warning

*

* So strange

* So unruly

* So close

* So familiar

- * Ahh

*

* Ahh

*

* Ahh

- * Without warning

*

- * Ahh

- * Without warning

*

* Ah, ah

*

* Ah, oh

*

* Oh, oh, oh

* Ah, ah

*