All language subtitles for 2_English4

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

>> John: HI THERE!

WELCOME TO THE SHOW, STILL

TAKING PLACE IN THIS BLANK VOID,

NOW, SADLY, APPROACHING ITS

FIRST BIRTHDAY.

AND, LIKE MOST ONE-YEAR-OLDS,

IT DOESN'T REALLY DO MUCH OTHER

THAN TERRIFY YOU WHEN IT'S

QUIET AND VAGUELY SMELL LIKE

OLD MILK.

IT'S BEEN A WILD WEEK,

FROM ANDREW CUOMO'S SCANDALS

CONTINUING TO GROW, TO EIGHT

MODERATE DEMOCRATS KILLING A

$15 MINIMUM WAGE -- WITH

KYRSTEN SINEMA DOING IT

IN A PARTICULARLY DICKISH WAY --

OH, THUMBS DOWN!

FUN!

TO THE FACT THAT

THE MILWAUKEE BUCKS RECENTLY

STARTED WELCOMING LIMITED

NUMBERS OF FANS BACK INTO

THEIR ARENA, AND DID IT LIKE

THIS.

>> THE HAND SANITIZER CAM!

LET'S GET THOSE HANDS CLEAN!

HERE WE GO!

OH, IT'S ALL OVER YOU.

YOU MIGHT HAVE TO WASH YOUR HAIR

OUT, GOT HAND SANITIZER ALL OVER

IT.

RIGHT ON THE HOODIE.

GREAT JOB, BANGO, HE'S, LIKE,

GIVE ME ALL THE HAND SANITIZER,

KEEP ME CLEAN!

I DON'T KNOW IF WE WANT TO

RECOMMEND THAT, LET'S NOT DO

THAT.

>> John: YEAH!

LET'S NOT DO ANY OF THAT!

BECAUSE GETTING BUKKAKED BY

A CARTOON SQUIRT BOTTLE HAS TO

BE THE MOST AWKWARD WAY TO WIND

UP ON A JUMBOTRON, RIGHT AFTER

BEING FEATURED ON THE KISS CAM

WITH YOUR SIBLING, AND BEING

PROPOSED TO ON A FIRST DATE.

NO, ERIC!

FOR VARIOUS REASONS, NO!

AND WHY IS EVERYONE BOOING ME?

WE JUST MET!

AND IT'S NOT JUST ARENAS

OPENING UP.

BOTH TEXAS AND MISSISSIPPI

THIS WEEK ANNOUNCED PLANS TO

PRETTY MUCH DO AWAY WITH

GOVERNMENT COVID RESTRICTIONS.

>> TEXAS GOVERNOR GREG ABBOTT

SAYS FALLING HOSPITALIZATIONS

AND INCREASED VACCINATIONS MEAN

NO

STATE MANDATES ARE NO LONGER

NEEDED, AND IT'S UP TO

INDIVIDUALS AND BUSINESSES

TO BEHAVE RESPONSIBLY.

>> ALL BUSINESSES OF ANY TYPE

NO

ARE ALLOWED TO OPEN 100%

NO

ALSO, I AM ENDING THE STATEWIDE

MASK MANDATE.

>> John: WELL, THAT'S FUCKING

NO

STUPID.

LIFTING ALL RESTRICTIONS IS

RIDICULOUS WHEN WE'RE STILL

NO

IN THE MIDDLE OF A PANDEMIC --

AS EVIDENCED BY THE FACT THAT

INSTEAD OF FORCING PEOPLE TO

KISS, WE'RE SQUIRTING THEM

WITH CARTOON EJACULATE.

AND THE THING IS, LEAVING IT UP

TO INDIVIDUALS TO "BEHAVE

NO

RESPONSIBLY" IS LIKELY TO CAUSE

IMMEDIATE PROBLEMS.

NO

BECAUSE WHILE BUSINESSES CAN

STILL REQUIRE PEOPLE TO WEAR

NO

MASKS, THE LACK OF A STATEWIDE

MANDATE COULD MAKE THINGS

DIFFICULT FOR THEM, AS THIS

BAR OWNER WILL TELL YOU.

>> YOU KNOW, WE'RE VERY USED

TO MAKING PEOPLE DO WHAT THEY

DON'T WANT TO DO.

YOU HAVE TO HAVE AN I.D.,

YOU CAN'T DRIVE DRUNK.

THIS PARTICULAR ISSUE, WITHOUT

A MANDATE FROM THE GOVERNMENT,

MAKES IT SEEM LIKE AN OPTIONAL

THING, AND SOMETHING THEY WANT

TO ARGUE ABOUT.

THE STATE ITSELF COULD GIVE US

THE COVER TO SAY, IT'S NOT ME,

IT'S THEM.

>> John: YEAH, THAT MAKES SENSE!

ALTHOUGH I WILL SAY, CBS REALLY

DIDN'T HAVE TO TELL US HE WAS

THE OWNER OF A BAR CALLED

"THE COTTONMOUTH CLUB."

GIVEN THAT HAT, THERE WERE

REALLY ONLY THREE OPTIONS:

BAR OWNER, SKA BAND HYPE MAN,

AND SPACE MECHANIC.

THAT'S IT.

AND WHILE I DO TAKE HIS LARGER

POINT, THAT IT'S SHITTY TO

MAKE BAR AND RESTAURANT

EMPLOYEES RESPONSIBLE FOR

ENFORCING PUBLIC SAFETY, I'M

GUESSING HE PERSONALLY HAS

THE CONFIDENCE TO DO THAT, GIVEN

THAT HE WENT ON CBS THIS MORNING

IN "THE FULL PHARRELL"

MEANWHILE, THIS WEEK THE FEDERAL

GOVERNMENT HAS BEEN BUSY.

IN ADDITION TO THE SENATE

FINALLY PASSING THE COVID RELIEF

BILL, THE FBI DIRECTOR GAVE SOME

SIGNIFICANT TESTIMONY.

>> IN HIS FIRST APPEARANCE

BEFORE CONGRESS SINCE THE

JANUARY 6TH INSURRECTION,

FBI DIRECTOR CHRISTOPHER WRAY

WAS SPECIFIC AND BLUNT ABOUT

WHO WAS RESPONSIBLE.

>> QUITE A NUMBER OF WHAT WE

WOULD CALL SORT OF "MILITIA

VIOLENT EXTREMISTS" --

PROUD BOYS OR THE OATH KEEPERS.

WE'VE ALREADY IDENTIFIED

INDIVIDUALS WHO ADVOCATE FOR

WHAT YOU WOULD CALL

WHITE SUPREMACY.

>> AND WHAT OF THE CONSPIRACIES

CLAIMING THAT IT WAS REALLY

LEFT WING RADICALS POSING AS

TRUMP SUPPORTERS WHO ATTACKED

THE CAPITOL?

>> DO YOU HAVE ANY EVIDENCE THAT

THE CAPITOL ATTACK WAS ORGANIZED

BY "FAKE TRUMP PROTESTERS?"

>> WE HAVE NOT SEEN EVIDENCE OF

THAT.

>> John: YEAH, OF COURSE YOU

HAVEN'T, BECAUSE IT'S NOT

FUCKING TRUE.

AND DESPITE EVERYTHING,

IT'S STILL AMAZING THAT HE HAS

TO DEBUNK A CONSPIRACY THEORY

THAT'S SO CLEARLY FALSE.

IT'D BE LIKE HAVING TO SWEAR

UNDER OATH THAT THREE LEMURS

IN A TRENCH COAT DIDN'T COMMIT

THE OKLAHOMA CITY BOMBING.

OF COURSE THEY DIDN'T, AND

ANYONE WHO SUGGESTED THEY DID

CLEARLY HAS SOME SIGNIFICANTLY

BIGGER PROBLEMS.

NOW THAT TESTIMONY WAS PRETTY

NEWSWORTHY.

BUT WHILE SOME NETWORKS

TOOK THE HEARINGS LIVE, FOX,

UNSURPRISINGLY, BARELY

COVERED IT.

IN FACT, ACROSS CONSERVATIVE

MEDIA, YOU'D HARDLY KNOW IT HAD

HAPPENED.

BECAUSE THEY WERE TOO BUSY WITH

THIS.

>> DR. SEUSS GETTING CANCELED.

THE CHILDREN'S BOOK PUBLISHER

SAYS IT WILL STOP RELEASING SIX

OF HIS BOOKS.

>> THE CANCEL CULTURE GOING

AFTER DR. SEUSS TONIGHT.

>> DR. SEUSS BOOKS ARE NOW TOO

INSENSITIVE AND EVEN RACIST FOR

THIS MOB.

>> THEY ARE BANNING DR. SEUSS

BOOKS.

HOW MUCH MORE DO YOU NEED TO SEE

BEFORE ALL OF AMERICA WAKES UP

AND GOES, "THIS IS FASCISM"?

>> John: OH, I DON'T KNOW,

UH, A LOT MORE?

BECAUSE THE BOOKS WEREN'T

"BANNED."

DR. SEUSS ENTERPRISES DECIDED TO

STOP PRINTING SIX OF THEM.

AND A COMPANY DECIDING WHICH OF

ITS OWN BOOKS IT WILL OR WON'T

PRINT IS AN EXAMPLE OF FREE

ENTERPRISE, NOT FASCISM.

IT'D MAKE AS MUCH SENSE TO

ARGUE, "THEY'RE BANNING

UNICYCLES.

HOW MUCH MORE DO YOU NEED TO SEE

BEFORE AMERICA WAKES UP AND

SAYS, THIS IS

TRANSCENDENTALISM?"

THE FIRST THING ISN'T EVEN TRUE,

AND I'VE GOT NO IDEA HOW YOU GOT

FROM THERE TO THE SECOND PART.

AND GIVEN HOW STRONGLY ALL THOSE

COMMENTATORS WERE DEFENDING

THOSE BOOKS, IT'S WORTH KNOWING

WHAT, EXACTLY, THEY'RE

DEFENDING.

BECAUSE THE IMAGES IN QUESTION

INCLUDE THIS OLD-TIMEY

CARICATURE OF "A CHINESE MAN

WHO EATS WITH STICKS," ACTUALLY

TONED DOWN FROM THE ORIGINAL,

WHERE HE WAS LITERALLY YELLOW,

AND CALLED THIS, AND THERE'S

ALSO DRAWINGS THAT RESEMBLE

MONKEYS, REPRESENTING PEOPLE

FROM AFRICA.

AND ARE THESE THINGS WE REALLY

WANT TO FIGHT FOR KIDS TO SEE?

TO BE HONEST, I'M SQUEAMISH

ABOUT SHOWING THEM TO YOU RIGHT

NOW, AND JUST THREE MINUTES AGO,

I WAS HAPPY TO SUBJECT YOU TO

A BASKETBALL ARENA JIZZ STORM.

THE POINT IS, THESE IMAGES ARE

ROUGH, WHICH IS PROBABLY WHY,

FOR THE MOST PART, FOX DIDN'T

ACTUALLY SHOW THEM.

INSTEAD, OFTEN FOCUSING ON BOOKS

THAT AREN'T EVEN BEING

QUESTIONED.

TUCKER CARLSON FOCUSED A WHOLE

SEGMENT ON "THE SNEETCHES" --

WHICH ISN'T BEING PULLED -- SO

HE COULD PLAY HIS FAVORITE GAME:

LIBERALS ARE THE REAL RACISTS.

>> FOR 60 YEARS, AMERICAN

CHILDREN HAVE READ

"THE SNEETCHES" AND BOOKS

LIKE IT, AND THAT'S ONE OF THE

REASONS WE HAVE THE COUNTRY WE

HAVE TODAY.

THE STORY IS A PLEA FOR

COLORBLINDNESS, AND THAT'S WHY

THE FORCES OF WOKENESS HATE IT

AND DR. SEUSS.

WHEN THE PEOPLE IN CHARGE CANCEL

DR. SEUSS, WHAT THEY'RE REALLY

TRYING TO ELIMINATE IS A VERY

SPECIFIC KIND OF MID-CENTURY

AMERICAN CULTURE, A CULTURE THAT

CHAMPIONED MERITOCRACY AND

COLORBLINDNESS.

>> John: FIRST, SHUT THE FUCK

UP, TUCKER, YOU FEAR-MONGERING

LACROSSE INJURY.

SECOND, IT'S A LITTLE WEIRD TO

CLAIM THAT MID-CENTURY AMERICAN

CULTURE CHAMPIONED

COLORBLINDNESS WHEN SIGNS

FROM THE TIME EXPLICITLY

DEMANDED THE OPPOSITE.

IN FACT, TO THE EXTENT ANYONE IS

TRYING TO ELIMINATE SOME PARTS

OF AMERICAN CULTURE, IT'S THE

PARTS THAT PERPETUATE RACISM,

XENOPHOBIA, AND BIGOTRY.

BUT IT'S NOT HARD TO SEE WHY

TUCKER WOULD BE SO ANXIOUS TO

TALK ABOUT DR. SEUSS THIS WEEK.

BECAUSE IF HE'D TALKED ABOUT

CHRISTOPHER WRAY'S TESTIMONY

ABOUT WHITE SUPREMACISTS

PARTICIPATING IN THE ATTACK

ON THE CAPITOL, IT WOULD'VE

CONTRADICTED WHAT HE'S BEEN

TELLING HIS VIEWERS FOR WEEKS

NOW, LIKE, "THERE'S NO EVIDENCE

THAT WHITE SUPREMACISTS WERE

RESPONSIBLE FOR WHAT HAPPENED

ON JANUARY 6TH.

THAT'S A LIE."

SO INSTEAD, TUCKER AND

CONSERVATIVE MEDIA FELL BACK ON

THEIR CLASSIC PLAYBOOK OF

DISTRACTING FROM IMPORTANT

ISSUES WITH BULLSHIT

CULTURE WARS.

IT'S INCREDIBLY LAZY AND

DEPRESSINGLY EFFECTIVE.

AND THE THING IS, NO MATTER HOW

MANY TIMES I SEE THEM DO IT,

IT NEVER FAILS TO LEAVE ME

FEELING COMPLETELY DISGUSTED,

AND LIKE THERE'S NO WAY TO GET

CLEAN.

♪ ♪

OH, NO!

NO, PLEASE, NO!

NO, NOT LIKE THIS!

NO, I DON'T WANT THIS!

HOW IS THIS FUN FOR ANYONE?

PLEASE STOP AT!

I FEEL DIRTIER NOW.

AND NOW THIS.

STOP IT!

>> Announcer: AND NOW,

NEIL CAVUTO REALLY LOVES ADELE.

>> DO YOU FIND IT A TAD BIT

CURIOUS, ON MONDAY, WHEN THE DOW

WAS UP 143 POINTS, THE FIRST DAY

OF TRADING AFTER THE SINGER

ADELE HAD SWEPT T THE GRAMMYS.

>> SCIENTIST IN BRAZIL HAVE

FOUND THAT LISTENING TO HER

MUSIC COULD REDUCE STRESS AND

HELP TO KEEP PEOPLE'S HEART

HEALTHY.

I'VE BEEN TELLING YOU THIS FOR

YEARS.

>> I AM WAITING ON ADELE TO CALL

ME AND UPDATE ME.

>> MICHAEL, ARE YOU A ADELE FAN?

>> LET ME ASK YOU ABOUT THIS.

ADELE.

>IT'S BECAUSE WE DIDN'T EVEN GET

TO TALK ABOUT ADELE.

>> DO WE KNOW, ARE THERE ANY

ADELE UPDATES?

I WILL POINT OUT THAT ADELE

NEVER HAD ANY ISSUES.

SORRY, TAYLOR, YOU HAVE NOT

TOPPED ADELE.

I COULDN'T IMAGINE ADELE DOING

IT.

IT MAKES A LOT OF PEOPLE

UNCOMFORTABLE THAT I HAVE THIS

FIXATION BECAUSE SHE'S YOUNG

ENOUGH TO BE MY DAUGHTER.

>> I THINK THAT IS THE MARKET'S

WAY OF SAYING HELLO, HELLO,

HELLO, HELLO.

>> John: MOVING ON.

OUR MAIN STORY TONIGHT CONCERNS

UNEMPLOYMENT.

THE THING THAT WOULD ABSOLUTELY

HAPPEN TO ME IF AT&T EXECUTIVES

EVER FIND OUT WHAT I'VE BEEN

SAYING ABOUT THEM.

BUT ON THE OTHER HAND, WHAT ARE

THEY GOING TO DO?

LOOK IT UP ONLINE?

HOW?

WITH THEIR INTERNET PLAN?

AND THEN CALL SOMEONE?

USING AT&T?

I THINK I'M FINE.

UNEMPLOYMENT CAN BE A TRAUMATIC

EVENT FOR ANYONE, EVEN PUPPETS.

>> WHY ISN'T MOMMY AT WORK

TODAY?

>> YESTERDAY, I LOST MY JOB.

AND I'M NOT GOING TO BE WORKING,

AT LEAST FOR A LITTLE WHILE.

>> IS IT BECAUSE ELMO HAS TOO

MANY TOYS?

>> OH, NO, NO, BABY, NONE OF

THIS IS YOUR FAULT.

>> IT'S NOBODY'S FAULT.

>> John: WELL, WELL, HOLD ON.

ARE WE ABSOLUTELY SURE IT'S NOT

ELMO'S FAULT?

I DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH THAT PLANE

COSTS, BUT I DO KNOW MAINTAINING

A CRAYON-COLORED, LIMINAL

APARTMENT WHERE YOU LIVE

PART-TIME WITH DOROTHY,

YOUR PET FISH, MIGHT BE A

PROBLEM FOR YOUR NOW ONE-INCOME

FAMILY.

SO IT'S NOT NOT YOUR FAULT,

ELMO.

BUT ALSO, QUICK SHOUT-OUT TO

ELMO'S MOM THERE.

SHE'S GOING THROUGH SOME SHIT,

BUT STILL MANAGED TO GET HER

HAIR UP IN TWO STRAND TWISTS

BEFORE SHE WENT TO BED THE NIGHT

BEFORE.

SHE'S TAKING CARE OF HERSELF AND

PROTECTING THOSE EDGES.

DROP THE ROUTINE, MAE!

POST THE SHELFIE ON THE GRAM.

WHAT ARE YOUR HOLY GRAIL

PRODUCTS?

PATTERN BEAUTY?

SHEA MOISTURE?

OR ARE YOU STILL ROCKIN' IT

OLD SCHOOL WITH A BOTTLE OF

PINK OIL AND A JAR OF JAM?

I SEE YOU, ELMO'S MOM!

BUT EVEN FOR THE NON-PUPPET

POPULATION, UNEMPLOYMENT IS AN

ESPECIALLY PERTINENT TOPIC RIGHT

NOW.

IT'S BEEN ALMOST EXACTLY A YEAR

SINCE THE PANDEMIC HIT, AND TENS

OF MILLIONS OF PEOPLE LOST THEIR

JOBS -- MANY OF WHOM FILED FOR

UNEMPLOYMENT INSURANCE, OR

"UNEMPLOYMENT."

OUR CURRENT SYSTEM WAS CREATED

IN THE 1930s.

AND THE BASIC IDEA WAS, LIKE

MOST INSURANCE, TO GATHER FUNDS,

PARTICULARLY IN GOOD TIMES, SO

THERE'D BE MONEY AVAILABLE TO

DISBURSE IN BAD TIMES.

AND TO PAY FOR ALL OF THIS,

STATES WOULD TAX EMPLOYERS.

THE CONCEPT WAS ENTHUSIASTICALLY

PROMOTED AT THE TIME, WITH

EDUCATIONAL FILMS LIKE THIS.

>> TO SHOW HOW JOB INSURANCE

WORKS, LET'S INTRODUCE STEVE,

A LOUISIANA WORKER WHO HAS JUST

LOST HIS JOB.

NOW EACH WEEK, THE LETTER

CARRIER BRINGS STEVE A CHECK

FOR HALF THE NORMAL WEEKLY WAGE

HE USED TO EARN.

THE MAXIMUM IS $15, THE MINIMUM

IS $5, OR THREE-FOURTHS OF HIS

EARNINGS.

JOB INSURANCE, THIS IS THE WAY

THE STATE OF LOUISIANA IS DOING

ITS PART IN THE NATIONWIDE

CRUSADE AGAINST UNEMPLOYMENT,

FEAR, AND INSECURITY.

>> John: YES!

ATTA BOY, STEVE!

THAT NEWSREEL, OF COURSE, FROM

THE MAKERS OF SUCH CLASSICS AS

"AMELIA EARHEART: THE WOMAN WHO

WILL NEVER DIE," AND "HOW TO

FIGHT THE NAZIS EVEN THOUGH,

GIVEN THIS ERA'S PREVALENT

ANTI-SEMITISM, YOU MOSTLY LIKELY

AGREE WITH A LOT OF WHAT THEY'RE

SAYING."

BUT UNEMPLOYMENT WASN'T JUST

CREATED TO SAVE OUR NATION'S

STEVES FROM FEAR AND INSECURITY.

ECONOMISTS GENERALLY AGREE THAT

UNEMPLOYMENT INSURANCE IS

ACTUALLY ONE OF THE MOST

EFFECTIVE POLICIES FOR

RECOVERING FROM A RECESSION.

WHICH MAKES SENSE.

BECAUSE WHEN YOU GIVE THE

UNEMPLOYED MONEY, THEY TEND

NOT TO HOARD IT OFFSHORE

IN THE CAYMANS.

THEY SPEND IT ON SHIT THEY NEED.

IN FACT, ANALYSIS FROM PAST

RECESSIONS SHOWS, EVERY DOLLAR

SPENT ON UNEMPLOYMENT BENEFITS

BOOSTED ECONOMYWIDE SPENDING BY

AS MUCH AS $2.

SO IT'S A VITAL SOCIAL SAFETY

NET AND HAS MASSIVE

MACROECONOMIC EFFECTS.

BUT DESPITE THAT, OVER THE

YEARS, OUR SYSTEM HAS BADLY

BROKEN DOWN.

SOMETHING THAT BECAME PAINFULLY

CLEAR THIS TIME LAST YEAR WHEN

IT WAS OVERWHELMED BY NEW

CLAIMS.

WE FEATURED STORIES ON THIS SHOW

OF PEOPLE HAVING TO CALL

50 TIMES A DAY JUST TO MAKE AN

UNEMPLOYMENT CLAIM.

BUT THAT WAS THE TIP OF THE

ICEBERG.

>> KENTUCKY RESIDENTS POURED

INTO THE CAPITAL FOR THEIR FIRST

CHANCE TO GET AN IN-PERSON

MEETING AT A POP-UP UNEMPLOYMENT

OFFICE SINCE THE PANDEMIC BEGAN.

BREANNA GLASS APPLIED THREE

MONTHS AGO AND IS STILL HAVING

TROUBLE GETTING PAYMENTS.

SHE STOOD IN LINE YESTERDAY JUST

DAYS AFTER GIVING BIRTH.

>> I MEAN, I'VE CALLED, I'VE

EMAILED.

I DID EVERYTHING I POSSIBLY

COULD.

AND STILL, NOTHING.

>> John: HOLY SHIT.

WAITING IN LINE FOR UNEMPLOYMENT

JUST AFTER GIVING BIRTH IS

ALREADY APPALLING.

BUT THE VERY PHRASE "POP-UP

UNEMPLOYMENT OFFICE" IS TRULY

ALARMING.

MUCH LIKE "EMERGENCY

CREMATORIUM" OR "ELEPHANT

FORCEPS," IT SUGGESTS THINGS

HAVE GONE TERRIBLY WRONG AND

ARE ABOUT TO GET SIGNIFICANTLY

WORSE.

NOW, SOME OF LAST YEAR'S CHAOS

WAS BECAUSE STATES' ANTIQUATED

SYSTEMS WERE SIMPLY OVERWHELMED.

BUT IT'S A MISTAKE TO THINK OF

THIS MERELY AS A TECHNOLOGICAL

PROBLEM.

BECAUSE THE SYSTEM UNDERNEATH

THAT SHITTY TECHNOLOGY HAS BEEN

BROKEN FOR YEARS NOW, AND

SOMETIMES DELIBERATELY.

A QUICK WAY TO MEASURE THE

HEALTH OF A STATE'S SYSTEM IS

THROUGH ITS "RECIPIENCY RATE" --

THAT IS BASICALLY, THE

PERCENTAGE OF UNEMPLOYED PEOPLE

THAT ACTUALLY RECEIVE BENEFITS.

NOW, IT WILL NEVER BE 100%

IN THIS COUNTRY, BECAUSE --

RIGHTLY OR WRONGLY -- NOT

EVERYONE OUT OF WORK IS

ELIGIBLE.

GENERALLY, ONLY THOSE WHO ARE

LAID OFF ARE.

AND THAT IS JUST OVER

HALF THE UNEMPLOYED.

THE REST -- LIKE THOSE FRESH

OUT OF SCHOOL, OR WHO QUIT

VOLUNTARILY, OR WHO WERE

FIRED -- ARE GENERALLY NOT

COVERED.

THAT IS WHY, EXPERTS SAY THAT

UNDER OUR CURRENT SYSTEM,

A GOOD RULE OF THUMB IS THAT

A STATE'S RECIPIENCY RATE SHOULD

BE AROUND 50%.

THE PROBLEM IS, NATIONALLY,

EVEN BEFORE THIS PANDEMIC,

WE WERE AT JUST 28%.

AND IN SOME STATES,

LIKE NORTH CAROLINA AND FLORIDA,

IT WAS AROUND 10%!

JUST THINK ABOUT WHAT THAT

MEANS: OUT OF EVERY TEN

UNEMPLOYED PEOPLE IN THOSE

STATES, ONLY ONE IS ACTUALLY

RECEIVING BENEFITS.

IF YOU BOARDED AN AIRPLANE AND

LEARNED THAT ONLY ONE IN TEN

SEATS HAD AN OXYGEN MASK,

YOU'D WONDER "WHO DESIGNED THIS

SYSTEM?," "WHY DID THEY MAKE IT

THIS WAY?"

AND "HOW DO I GET OUT OF HERE

RIGHT FUCKING NOW?"

SO GIVEN THAT, TONIGHT, LET'S

LOOK AT OUR CURRENT UNEMPLOYMENT

SYSTEM.

AND THE FIRST THING TO KNOW IS,

IT IS NOT ONE SYSTEM.

FROM THE VERY START, STATES WERE

GIVEN HUGE LATITUDE IN RUNNING

THEIR UNEMPLOYMENT PROGRAMS.

MEANING WE ESSENTIALLY HAVE

53 COMPLETELY DIFFERENT SYSTEMS,

ONE FOR EACH STATE, PLUS D.C.,

PUERTO RICO, AND

THE VIRGIN ISLANDS.

AND NOT ONLY IS THAT

INEFFICIENT, IT MEANS THE LEVEL

OF BENEFITS VARY WILDLY.

>> MASSACHUSETTS PAYS THE MOST,

UP TO $1234 A WEEK.

FLORIDA'S MAXIMUM?

$275 A WEEK.

>> John: THAT IS A HELL OF

A DIFFERENCE.

IT'S SOMETHING PEOPLE MIGHT WANT

TO FACTOR IN IF THEY'RE

CONSIDERING MOVING SOMEWHERE.

"WELL, THE CLIMATE SEEMS NICER,

AND THE SCHOOLS SEEM DECENT --

BEFORE I GO, LET ME JUST GOOGLE,

IF I LOSE MY JOB, WILL THIS

STATE LET ME STARVE?"

AND IT'S NOT JUST WHERE YOU LIVE

THAT DETERMINES YOUR BENEFITS.

IT ALSO MATTERS WHAT YOU DO.

BECAUSE MANY PART-TIME WORKERS,

PLUS INDEPENDENT CONTRACTORS AND

GIG WORKERS TYPICALLY DON'T

QUALIFY FOR UNEMPLOYMENT.

WHICH IS ABSURD, GIVEN THAT

THOSE JOBS MAKE UP A SIGNIFICANT

PORTION OF OUR MODERN WORKFORCE.

AND INCIDENTALLY, BLACK WORKERS

ARE OVERREPRESENTED IN THOSE

TYPES OF JOBS, JUST AS THEY'RE

OVERREPRESENTED IN THE STATES

WITH THE LEAST-GENEROUS

BENEFITS, WHICH MIGHT EXPLAIN

WHY BLACK WORKERS ARE MORE

LIKELY TO BE UNEMPLOYED, BUT

LESS LIKELY TO GET UNEMPLOYMENT

BENEFITS.

AND INEQUITY WAS BAKED INTO

THE SYSTEM FROM THE VERY

BEGINNING.

IN THE 1930s, AGRICULTURAL AND

DOMESTIC WORKERS WERE INITIALLY

PURPOSELY EXCLUDED, MEANING THAT

65% OF BLACK WORKERS WEREN'T

COVERED BY THE PROGRAM.

IT SEEMS IN THE U.S., YOU CAN

BASICALLY POINT TO ANYTHING,

ASK "HOW IS THAT RACIST," AND

GET A SPECIFIC, HISTORICAL

ANSWER.

FREEWAYS?

DEMOLISHED BLACK COMMUNITIES.

MICKEY MOUSE?

BASED ON MINSTREL SHOWS.

THIS TODDLER?

WELL, HIS NAME IS KENDALL,

SO IT'S ONLY A MATTER OF TIME.

THE POINT IS, IN MANY STATES,

FOR MYRIAD REASONS, YOU MAY NOT

BE ABLE TO GET UNEMPLOYMENT,

AND EVEN IF YOU DO, IT MAY NOT

BE ENOUGH TO LIVE ON.

THAT IS SOMETHING THE FEDERAL

GOVERNMENT SEEMED TO ACKNOWLEDGE

WAS A PROBLEM LAST YEAR, WHEN

IT SUDDENLY TEMPORARILY EXPANDED

UNEMPLOYMENT TO COVER MORE

WORKERS, AND BOOSTED BENEFITS

BY $600 ACROSS THE BOARD.

SO HOW DID OUR SYSTEM GET THIS

SHITTY?

AND WHOSE FAULT IS IT?

IS IT ELMO'S?

THE ANSWER'S NOT DEFINITELY "NO"

YET.

BUT THE TRUTH IS, A LOT OF THE

SYSTEM'S SHORTCOMINGS WERE THE

RESULT OF DELIBERATE CHOICES.

FOR ONE, REMEMBER, BUSINESSES

FUND UNEMPLOYMENT INSURANCE,

THROUGH TAXES THAT GO INTO

STATE TRUST FUNDS.

AND AFTER THE LAST FINANCIAL

CRISIS DRAINED THOSE FUNDS,

STATES NEEDED TO RESTORE THEM.

BUT RATHER THAN DO THE SENSIBLE

THING -- RAISE TAXES TO GET MORE

MONEY COMING IN -- MANY OPTED TO

INSTEAD JUST CUT BENEFITS AND

MAKE THEM HARDER TO GET.

AND AS THEY DID THIS, SOME IN

THE NATIONAL MEDIA CHEERED THEM

ON, LIKE SENTIENT PLANTATION

WEDDING, LAURA INGRAHAM.

>> IT'S SIMPLE HUMAN NATURE THAT

PEOPLE ARE A LITTLE LESS

MOTIVATED AS LONG AS THERE'S

A CHECK COMING IN.

YOU KNOW WHAT MY MOM USED TO

SAY -- GOD REST HER SOUL -- WHEN

YOU'RE HUNGRY, YOU'LL FIGURE OUT

A WAY TO EAT.

RIGHT?

HUNGER BRINGS DRIVE, HUNGER

FOR OPPORTUNITY, HUNGER

FOR A PAYCHECK, HUNGER FOR

ACTUAL FOOD, HUNGER FOR A

LIFESTYLE, A WAY OF LIFE.

BOY, YOU FIND IT WHEN THERE'S

NO HELPING HAND.

>> John: WOW.

"WHEN YOU'RE HUNGRY, YOU'LL

FIGURE OUT A WAY TO EAT."

WELL, SOMETIMES, LAURA.

THE PROBLEM IS, SOMETIMES NOT!

AND THEN IT'S A TRAGEDY.

THERE'S A REASON THAT FAMINES

AREN'T GENERALLY REFERRED TO AS

"A LACK OF CAN-DO ATTITUDE."

AND THAT KIND OF RHETORIC

HAS BECOME PRETTY POPULAR.

YOUR MOST RACIST UNCLE HAS

UNDOUBTEDLY SAID SOMETHING

SIMILAR, PROBABLY TO A WAITRESS

AT RED LOBSTER, COMPLETELY

RUINING MOTHER'S DAY.

AND THAT SPEAKS TO THE KIND OF

ATTITUDES TOWARD THE

UNEMPLOYED -- RANGING FROM

SIMMERING CONTEMPT TO A CALLOUS

DISREGARD -- THAT LIE BENEATH

MANY STATES' AGGRESSIVE POLICY

CHANGES OVER THE PAST DECADE.

STARTING IN 2012, TENNESSEE

PASSED LAWS MAKING THE PROCESS

TO APPLY FAR MORE DIFFICULT.

ONE JUSTIFICATION BEING THAT

SOMEHOW, LOADS OF PEOPLE

INELIGIBLE FOR BENEFITS WERE

STILL GETTING THEM.

WHICH IS NONSENSE, BUT SOMETHING

THE LIEUTENANT GOVERNOR BACK

THEN, RON RAMSEY, CERTAINLY

BELIEVED.

>> IF YOU WERE FIRED FROM YOUR

JOB FOR JUST CAUSE, MAYBE EVEN

FOR STEALING FROM YOUR EMPLOYER

OR CHRONIC ABSENTEEISM, YOU

SHOULDN'T BE ABLE TO DRAW

UNEMPLOYMENT.

>> YOU DON'T GET UNEMPLOYMENT

INSURANCE IF YOU'RE FIRED WITH

CAUSE NOW.

>> THE LAW SAYS THEY'RE NOT

SUPPOSED TO, BUT, BUDDY, LET ME

ASSURE YOU, NINE TIMES OUT OF

TEN, THEY GET THEIR WORKERS

COMP, OR THEIR UNEMPLOYMENT.

I CAN ASSURE YOU THAT'S

THE CASE.

>> NINE TIMES OUT OF TEN?

>> I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THAT,

OKAY.

THAT WAS -- THAT WAS A

RON RAMSEY BLANKET STATEMENT

THERE, BUT THERE ARE PLENTY OF

EXAMPLES THAT THEY GET IT.

>> John: OH, YEAH!

DON'T WORRY -- THAT'S JUST

A CLASSIC RON RAMSEY BLANKET

STATEMENT.

AND YOU KNOW YOU'RE IN GOOD

HANDS WHEN A GOVERNMENT OFFICIAL

LIES ENOUGH TO WARRANT

A FUCKING TRADEMARK.

NOW RAMSEY ALSO ARGUED FOR

DRUG-TESTING THE UNEMPLOYED,

SAYING, I DON'T THINK WE NEED

TO BE SUPPORTING THAT LIFESTYLE

WITH GOVERNMENT MONEY.

WHICH IS NOT JUST AN OBVIOUS

ATTEMPT TO STIGMATIZE, IT ALSO

IGNORES THAT DRUGS ARE ACTUALLY

HELPFUL IN SOME JOBS.

LIKE, FOR INSTANCE, THIS ONE.

HOW DO YOU THINK I TALK THIS

FAST ABOUT THINGS THIS

DEPRESSING?

WHAT DO YOU EVEN THINK THIS

WHITE VOID IS MADE OUT OF?

I'M SURROUNDED BY WEAPONS-GRADE

COCAINE.

AND IT WASN'T JUST TENNESSEE --

LOTS OF STATES PUT IN NEW,

ONEROUS REQUIREMENTS, TO MAKE

SURE THAT PEOPLE GETTING

BENEFITS "DESERVED" THEM.

FOR INSTANCE, NEBRASKA STARTED

REQUIRING FIVE "WORK SEARCH"

ACTIVITIES PER WEEK, WHICH COULD

INCLUDE ATTENDING A RESUME

WRITING CLASS OR TAKING

A CIVIL SERVICE EXAM,

BUT AT LEAST TWO OF WHICH

HAD TO BE APPLICATIONS FOR

SUITABLE WORK.

BUT IF THERE AREN'T TWO SUITABLE

WORK OPPORTUNITIES FOR YOU TO

APPLY FOR THAT WEEK, YOU'RE SHIT

OUT OF LUCK.

AND THE PROBLEM IS, EACH

ADDITIONAL REQUIREMENT LIKE THAT

INCREASES THE CHANCES THAT

SOMEONE'S GOING TO MAKE A

MISTAKE, OR FAIL TO CHECK A BOX,

AND GET DENIED BENEFITS THEY

NEED.

AND AS THEY WERE DOING THIS,

STATES WERE ALSO AGGRESSIVELY

TARGETING FRAUD.

WHICH ISN'T, IN ITSELF,

A BAD IDEA.

STATES DO LOSE MONEY TO FRAUD.

BEFORE THE PANDEMIC HIT, IT

WASN'T A LOT -- AN AVERAGE OF

3%.

BUT THAT ACTUALLY SURGED LAST

YEAR, WHEN ORGANIZED CRIMINALS

TARGETED UNEMPLOYMENT PROGRAMS,

AND CALIFORNIA ALONE SAID IT

LOST $11 BILLION.

BUT THE THING IS,

YOU HAVE TO BE VERY PRECISE

IN HOW YOU GO AFTER FRAUD.

BECAUSE IF A CLAIM IS WRONGLY

FLAGGED, IT CAN BE SIGNIFICANTLY

DELAYED, AND INNOCENT PEOPLE

THEN GET HURT.

THAT IS SOMETHING KENTUCKY'S

GOVERNOR RECENTLY FOUND WHEN HE

SHARED WHAT HE CLEARLY THOUGHT

WAS A PRETTY FLAGRANT EXAMPLE.

>> WE HAD SOMEONE APPLY FOR

UNEMPLOYMENT FOR TUPAC SHAKUR

HERE IN KENTUCKY.

AND THAT PERSON PROBABLY THOUGHT

THEY WERE BEING FUNNY.

THEY PROBABLY DID.

EXCEPT FOR THE FACT THAT,

BECAUSE OF THEM, WE'VE GOTTA GO

THROUGH SO MANY OTHER CLAIMS.

>> John: OKAY.

HE MADE A VERY CONFIDENT,

PUBLIC EXAMPLE OF

THAT, BECAUSE HE KNEW: NO ONE

COULD BE CALLED TUPAC SHAKUR,

RIGHT?

THAT IS JUST NOT A NAME PEOPLE

HAVE.

EXCEPT, OF COURSE, FAMOUSLY,

THIS GUY BUT WE ALL KNOW, HE'S

LIVING IN THE FALKLAND ISLANDS

RIGHT NOW.

NO ONE ELSE COULD HAVE THAT

NAME.

IT'S ABSOLUTELY IMPOSSIBLE.

I THINK YOU KNOW WHAT'S COMING

NEXT.

>> I OWE SOMEBODY AN APOLOGY

TONIGHT.

LAST NIGHT, I SPENT A LITTLE BIT

OF TIME TALKING ABOUT FRAUDULENT

CLAIMS HOLDING US UP.

I MENTIONED AN INDIVIDUAL WHO

FILED IN THE NAME OF

TUPAC SHAKUR.

I DIDN'T KNOW, AND IT'S MY

FAULT, THAT WE HAVE A KENTUCKIAN

WHO GOES BY MALIK, WHOSE NAME IS

TUPAC SHAKUR.

I TALKED TO HIM ON THE PHONE

TODAY, I APOLOGIZED.

>> John: YEAH, I BET YOU DID.

AND I WILL SAY, THAT'S YET

ANOTHER EXAMPLE THAT NOTHING

GOOD CAN EVER COME FROM

A MIDDLE-AGED WHITE MAN KNOWING

ANYTHING ABOUT RAP.

PERIOD.

WE JUST CAN'T HANDLE IT.

THAT'S HOW YOU GET MACKLEMORE.

AND IF YOU'RE THINKING, "HEY,

WHAT'S SO BAD ABOUT

MACKLEMORE?,"

YOU'RE VERY MUCH PART OF

THE PROBLEM HERE.

AND SOME MISTAKES HAPPENED

ON A MUCH BIGGER SCALE.

MICHIGAN ROLLED OUT A NEW SYSTEM

IN 2013, WHICH FLAGGED TENS OF

THOUSANDS OF CASES FOR FRAUD.

UNFORTUNATELY, A REVIEW

FOUR YEARS LATER FOUND IT HAD

A 70% ERROR RATE.

MEANING THEY'D FALSELY ACCUSED

MORE THAN 40,000 PEOPLE OF

FRAUDULENTLY CLAIMING BENEFITS,

AND HAD BEEN WRONGFULLY

RECOUPING MASSIVE AMOUNTS OF

MONEY FROM MANY OF THEM.

AND THE PROBLEM WITH THE WORD

"RECOUP" THERE IS, IT SOUNDS

KIND OF BLOODLESS, UNTIL YOU

REALIZE THAT THOSE PEOPLE WERE

REQUIRED TO REPAY THEIR BENEFITS

AT A 400% PENALTY.

WHICH IS JUST BRUTAL.

IT'S LIKE A HOSPITAL MISTAKENLY

THINKING A PATIENT WROTE A BAD

CHECK, AND DECIDING TO "RECOUP"

THEIR FUCKING HIP REPLACEMENT.

HEY!

I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING WRONG, AND

I REALLY NEEDED THAT!

AND IF YOU WANT TO SEE HOW ALL

OF THIS -- POOR TECHNOLOGY, DEEP

BENEFIT CUTS, AND ABSURD

ELIGIBILITY REQUIREMENTS -- CAN

COME TOGETHER TO BREAK A VITAL

SOCIAL PROGRAM, LOOK NO FURTHER

THAN FLORIDA.

AMERICA'S VESTIGIAL TAIL.

FLORIDA'S PREVIOUS GOVERNOR,

AND SLENDERMAN UNDERSTUDY

RICK SCOTT, TOOK A HATCHET

TO THE STATE'S PROGRAM

WHILE IN POWER.

WHEN HE WAS SWORN IN, EMPLOYERS

THAT YEAR PAID AN AVERAGE OF

$319 PER EMPLOYEE IN

UNEMPLOYMENT TAXES.

BY THE TIME HE LEFT OFFICE,

THEY WERE PAYING JUST $50 PER

EMPLOYEE -- THE LOWEST IN THE

COUNTRY, AND LESS THAN ONE-FIFTH

THE NATIONAL AVERAGE.

AND TO BALANCE THOSE CUTS OUT --

AS SCOTT PROUDLY TOLD A

CONFERENCE OF YOUNG REPUBLICANS

IN 2019 -- HE FOUND WAYS TO KEEP

A LOT OF FLORIDIANS OFF

UNEMPLOYMENT.

>> ABOUT 22 MILLION PEOPLE LIVE

IN FLORIDA.

HOW MANY PEOPLE TODAY, THROW OUT

A GUESS, HOW MANY PEOPLE WHEN I

LEFT OFFICE WERE ON UNEMPLOYMENT

BENEFITS?

TEN MILLION IS ONE.

ANYBODY ELSE?

61,000.

[SCATTERED APPLAUSE]

>> John: WOW, THAT IS SOME

NERVOUS APPLAUSE.

EVEN IN THAT ROOM, YOU CAN FEEL

PEOPLE THINKING, "WAIT, 61,000?

OUT OF 22 MILLION?

OH, THAT FEELS WAY TOO LOW.

IS WHAT HE DID TERRIBLE?

ARE WE ALL TERRIBLE?

AW, NEVER MIND, WE'RE

CLAPPING NOW.

OKAY, I DO FEEL BETTER WHEN WE

CLAP."

TO ACHIEVE THOSE NUMBERS, SCOTT

EMPLOYED ALL THE TACTICS YOU'VE

SEEN.

HE STARTED REQUIRING PEOPLE

DOCUMENT CONTACTS WITH FIVE

EMPLOYERS PER WEEK, REDUCED

TOTAL BENEFITS BY SLASHING

THE NUMBER OF WEEKS YOU COULD

RECEIVE THEM, AND THREW IN SOME

EXTRA OBSTACLES, LIKE REQUIRING

APPLICANTS TO COMPLETE A

45-QUESTION "SKILLS ASSESSMENT,"

TESTING THEIR READING, MATH, AND

RESEARCH SKILLS -- A POLICY SO

CLEARLY MEANT TO IMPEDE ACCESS,

THE DEPARTMENT OF LABOR'S

CIVIL RIGHTS DIVISION DETERMINED

IT VIOLATED FEDERAL

NONDISCRIMINATION LAW.

THE STATE ALSO FORCED EVERYONE

TO FILE ONLINE, AND ROLLED OUT

AN EXPENSIVE NEW CLAIMS SYSTEM,

WHICH WAS IMMEDIATELY PLAGUED

WITH GLITCHES.

AND DESPITE ALL OF HIS

REASSURANCES AT THE TIME THAT

THEY'D BE FIXED, THEY CLEARLY

WEREN'T, BECAUSE THE SYSTEM

CRASHED SO BADLY LAST YEAR, THEY

HAD TO SUDDENLY SHIFT TO PAPER

APPLICATIONS -- WHICH, IN THE

MIDDLE OF A PANDEMIC, BROUGHT A

WHOLE DIFFERENT SET OF PROBLEMS.

>> IT WAS NEAR BEDLAM AT THE

JOHN F. KENNEDY LIBRARY IN

HIALEAH.

A CROWD IN UNCOMFORTABLY CLOSE

QUARTERS SHOVED ITS WAY FORWARD

WITH PEOPLE DESPERATE TO GET

THEIR HANDS ON ONE OF THESE,

AN APPLICATION FOR UNEMPLOYMENT

BENEFITS.

>> I AM SO SCARED.

I'M SCARED FOR MY LIFE.

JUST FOR AN APPLICATION.

>> John: YEAH, I'M SCARED FOR

YOUR LIFE, TOO, JUST WATCHING

THAT.

AND IT'S A TESTAMENT TO BOTH

THIS PANDEMIC AND FLORIDA'S

RIDICULOUS SYSTEM THAT I FEEL

THE SAME WHITE-KNUCKLE TERROR

WATCHING PEOPLE LINE UP FOR

UNEMPLOYMENT APPLICATIONS AS

I DO WHEN WATCHING A DAREDEVIL

JUMP A MOTORCYCLE OVER A ROW OF

BUSES.

ALTHOUGH, TO BE HONEST, IT'S

PROBABLY ONLY A MATTER OF TIME

BEFORE FLORIDA MAKES BUS-JUMPING

A REQUIREMENT FOR APPLYING FOR

UNEMPLOYMENT THERE, TOO.

AND WHILE YOU COULD ARGUE THAT

THIS WAS JUST INCOMPETENCE,

YOU COULD ALSO ARGUE IT WAS

COMPLETELY DELIBERATE.

MANY FLORIDIANS ACTUALLY

SUGGESTED THAT LAST YEAR, ONE OF

WHOM WAS RICK SCOTT'S SUCCESSOR.

>> I THINK THE GOAL WAS FOR

WHOEVER DESIGNED IT WAS, LET'S

PUT AS MANY KIND OF POINTLESS

ROADBLOCKS ALONG THE WAY SO

PEOPLE JUST SAY, "OH, THE HELL

WITH IT.

I'M NOT GONNA DO THAT."

BUT I THINK DEFINITELY IN TERMS

OF HOW IT WAS INTERNALLY

CONSTRUCTED, YOU KNOW, IT WAS

DEFINITELY DONE IN A WAY TO LEAD

TO THE LEAST NUMBER OF -- OF

CLAIMS BEING PAID OUT.

>> John: WOW.

I GOTTA SAY, IT'S WEIRD TO HEAR

THIS ASSHOLE ACCURATELY CRITIQUE

THIS ASSHOLE.

IT'D BE LIKE HEARING

"TWITTER REALLY NEEDS TO TAKE

CARE OF ITS NAZI PROBLEM" FROM

MARK ZUCKERBERG.

SURE, IN ISOLATION, YOU'RE

MAKING A GOOD POINT.

YOU JUST HAPPEN TO BE A

FUNDAMENTALLY FLAWED MESSENGER.

BECAUSE BEFORE YOU GIVE DESANTIS

TOO MUCH CREDIT THERE, IT'S

WORTH KNOWING A STATE

INVESTIGATION FOUND THAT

AUDITORS HAD FLAGGED PROBLEMS

WITH FLORIDA'S SYSTEM IN 2015,

2016, AND 2019 -- AND NEITHER

THE SCOTT NOR DESANTIS

ADMINISTRATIONS FIXED

THE PROBLEMS.

AND FLORIDA'S DEEP AND

DELIBERATE NEGLECT OF ITS

UNEMPLOYMENT SYSTEM CAUSED

PEOPLE THERE REAL PAIN.

>> IF THE UNEMPLOYMENT CLAIM

FINALLY WENT THROUGH, WE'D BE

ABLE TO PAY OUR BILLS NO

PROBLEM.

BUT WE TRIED TO FILE FOR

UNEMPLOYMENT ONLINE AND IT WAS

AN ABSOLUTE NIGHTMARE.

I CONSTANTLY HAVE A NAUSEOUS

FEELING IN MY STOMACH.

I TRY TO DISTRACT MYSELF FROM

IT, BUT ESPECIALLY AT NIGHT --

I'M SORRY, I CAN'T EVEN PUT IT

INTO WORDS.

I JUST -- I DON'T WANT EMMETT TO

SEE ME UPSET.

I'VE BEEN FIGHTING REALLY HARD

TO HOLD IT TOGETHER.

>> John: THAT'S TERRIBLE.

AND THE INFURIATING THING IS HOW

COMPLETELY PREVENTABLE IT IS.

WE COULD HELP HER.

IT'D BE BETTER FOR HER.

IT'D ACTUALLY BE BETTER

FOR THE BROADER ECONOMY.

AND YET WE'RE ACTIVELY CHOOSING

NOT TO DO IT.

WHICH IS A FUCKING DISGRACE.

SO HOW CAN WE FIX THIS SHIT

GOING FORWARD?

WELL, FIRST, THERE CAN NO LONGER

BE ANY ARGUMENT THAT OUR CURRENT

SYSTEM IS BROKEN.

AGAIN, THE GOVERNMENT'S ACTIONS

LAST YEAR -- RAISING PAYMENTS,

AND SCRAMBLING TO MAKE SURE THE

SYSTEM COVERED MORE WORKERS --

IS A PRETTY PUBLIC ADMISSION

THAT IT WAS FUCKED.

SO NOW YOU'VE GOT TO FIX IT.

IN THE VERY SHORT TERM, STATES

NEED FUNDING TO UPGRADE THEIR

BROKEN TECHNOLOGY.

THEY ALSO NEED TO REMOVE A LOT

OF THE STUPID OBSTACLES THAT

PREVENT APPLICANTS WHO NEED HELP

FROM GETTING IT.

BUT IN THE LONG TERM, WE NEED

SOME BIG CHANGES.

MANY EXPERTS AGREE, IF THE U.S.

GOT A DO-OVER, IT'D BE MUCH

BETTER TO GO WITH ONE FEDERAL

SYSTEM THAN 53 SEPARATE ONES.

SO WE SHOULD PROBABLY DO THAT.

AMONG OTHER THINGS, THAT WOULD

STOP STATES FROM BEING ABLE TO

SLASH THEIR PROGRAMS IN THE NAME

OF BEING "PRO-BUSINESS," AND

ENGAGING IN A RACE TO THE BOTTOM

ON TAXES.

BUT IF WE'RE NOT GOING TO

FEDERALIZE -- AND, AT THE

MOMENT, IT SEEMS LIKE WE'RE NOT

-- CONGRESS SHOULD AT THE VERY

LEAST BE SETTING A BASIC

STANDARD FOR UNEMPLOYMENT

BENEFITS THAT STATES CANNOT

DROP BELOW.

ALL OF WHICH IS A LONG WAY OF

SAYING THAT WE NEED TO TAKE ALL

THE ENERGY WE'VE BEEN POURING IN

TO MAKING SURE THAT PEOPLE WHO

DON'T DESERVE PAYMENTS DON'T GET

THEM, AND PUT AT LEAST AS MUCH

ENERGY INTO MAKING SURE THAT

PEOPLE WHO REALLY NEED THEM DO.

AND TO NOT MAKE BIG CHANGES

AFTER THE FLAWS OF THIS SYSTEM

HAVE BEEN SO BRUTALLY EXPOSED

OVER THE LAST YEAR WOULD BE

UNFORGIVABLE.

AND IF WE DON'T FIX IT, WE'VE

GOT ABSOLUTELY NOBODY TO BLAME

BUT OURSELVES.

AND, POSSIBLY, ELMO.

I'M NOT SURE EXACTLY HOW,

BUT THE WHOLE THING DOES KIND OF

SEEM LIKE HIS FAULT.

AND NOW, THIS.

♪ ♪

>> Announcer: AND NOW...

RACHAEL RAY'S COMPLICATED

HISTORY WITH BAKING.

>> I FIND MOST CHALLENGING ABOUT

COOKING IS THE DISCIPLINE OF

BAKING.

MY OLDER SISTER IS VERY TALENTED

AT IT IT HAS BEEN SINCE SHE WAS

A SMALL GIRL.

IT WAS REALLY TRAUMATIC AND

THEREFORE I DECIDED I HATE

BAKING.

>> MY SISTER IS A FABULOUS BAKER

WHEN I WAS A LITTLE GIRL, FOR MY

MOM'S BIRTHDAY, I TRIED TO MAKE

HER FAVORITE CAKE, A LEMON

COTTAGE CAKE, A RECIPE FOR ME

'50s.

I TIPTOED AROUND MY HOUSE AND

THE SOX, THE CASE NEVER ROSE, I

CRIED FOR HOURS.

I HAD NOTHING TO GIVE HER FOR MY

BIRTHDAY.

>> MY SISTER IS THE BAKER IN THE

FAMILY.

ONE CHRISTMAS, I MADE ALL THESE

COOKIES, THEY EACH HAD DIFFERENT

PERSONALITY, AND THE TWO DOGS

CAME IN AND ATE THE WHOLE TRAY.

>> THE DOG CAME IN, ATE ALL OF

THEM.

I AM A TERRIBLE BAKER.

>> MY SISTER IS THE BAKER AND

THE FAMILY.

>> I HATE TO BAKER.

>> MY SISTER IS THE DESIGNATED

BAKER.

BAKING MAKES ME GRUMPY.

>> I TRIED TO BAKE COOKIES ONE

YEAR, I WAS THE MOST MISERABLE

PERSON, NOBODY WANTED TO BE

THERE ON CHRISTMAS BECAUSE I WAS

THERE.

>> I MADE SO MANY CHRISTMAS

COOKIES A COUPLE YEARS AGO.

MY HUSBAND TRIED TO LEAVE ME IF

I EVER DID IT AGAIN.

>> I SUCK AT BAKING.

>> MY SISTER IS THE BAKER.

I'M NOT A VERY GOOD BAKER.

>> MY SISTER IS A BETTER BAKER.

>> ME HERE THAT YOU NOT LOVE TO

BAKE.

>> DO YOU EVER COOK?

>> I BAKED.

>> MY SISTER IS A FABULOUS BAKER

I AM SO ENVIOUS.

>> I'M A TERRIBLE BAKER.

MY SISTER IS A FABULOUS BAKER.

>> MY SISTER IS A BAKER.

>> MY SISTER IS A BAKER.

>> I DON'T BAKE.

I HATE BAKING!

>> THIS IS MY SISTER, THIS IS

MARIA.

[APPLAUSE]

>> HELLO.

♪ ♪

>> John: THAT'S OUR SHOW.

THANKS SO MUCH FOR WATCHING.

WE'LL SEE YOU NEXT WEEK.

GOOD NIGHT.

♪ ♪

OH, NO, NO, NOT AGAIN.

COME ON.

STOP IT.

PLEASE, STOP IT.

I REALLY DON'T WANT THE INTERNET

TO HAVE ACCESS TO THIS IMAGE.

PLEASE STOP IT.

♪ ♪

I WILL SAY THE SONG'S LAPSE.

THE SONG IS FINE.