Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:00,016 --> 00:00:03,287
- Previously on Wynonna Earp:
- A kid is missing.
2
00:00:03,312 --> 00:00:06,194
- I'm retiring.
- To Sheriff Nicole Haught!
3
00:00:06,219 --> 00:00:08,233
- [EXCLAMATIONS]
- Charlie.
4
00:00:08,258 --> 00:00:09,547
This you flirting?
5
00:00:09,572 --> 00:00:11,813
My baby daddy is married to a vampire.
6
00:00:11,838 --> 00:00:13,008
I don't like you at all.
7
00:00:13,180 --> 00:00:14,891
- Are you sure?
- Stop pretending...
8
00:00:14,916 --> 00:00:17,694
that this isn't what you came here for.
9
00:00:17,719 --> 00:00:20,555
[MICHELLE]: He was kind, honest.
His name was Julian.
10
00:00:20,580 --> 00:00:23,200
- My dad was an angel.
- You were born out of love.
11
00:00:23,225 --> 00:00:26,486
- We can find Julian if you want.
- What's in it for me?
12
00:00:28,297 --> 00:00:30,583
[GROWLING]
13
00:00:35,015 --> 00:00:39,038
Okay, this is the last time
we're doing this.
14
00:00:39,063 --> 00:00:41,959
Since we both have
such stressful jobs and everything,
15
00:00:41,984 --> 00:00:44,484
we could keep doing this
to take the edge off.
16
00:00:44,509 --> 00:00:45,408
No.
17
00:00:46,047 --> 00:00:48,750
I'm all edge, Charlie. If
you can't handle that...
18
00:00:53,807 --> 00:00:56,648
You may handle me however you please.
19
00:00:57,856 --> 00:01:01,946
Good morning, guys.
I'm Deputy Nicole Haught
and I am here...
20
00:01:01,971 --> 00:01:03,781
- Shitty-shit-shit!
- Whoa, whoa.
21
00:01:03,806 --> 00:01:05,441
I thought that was going pretty good.
22
00:01:05,478 --> 00:01:07,328
How's Purgatory's finest this morning?
23
00:01:07,353 --> 00:01:08,054
Here we go.
24
00:01:08,079 --> 00:01:10,534
Thank you, sincerely,
for all that you do.
25
00:01:10,559 --> 00:01:12,140
I know it's not an easy job.
26
00:01:12,165 --> 00:01:14,784
Nedley calls us hose jockeys.
27
00:01:14,809 --> 00:01:19,164
Uh, Sheriff Nedley's sense of humour
leaves a lot to be desired.
28
00:01:19,497 --> 00:01:22,199
And rest assured,
when I am Sheriff,
29
00:01:22,224 --> 00:01:25,093
you will be both
respected and supported.
30
00:01:25,118 --> 00:01:27,630
I will also pre-order a
dozen of your calendars.
31
00:01:28,286 --> 00:01:30,340
I'm April this year.
32
00:01:31,153 --> 00:01:32,656
Happy Easter to me.
33
00:01:32,681 --> 00:01:35,914
I had no idea Officer Haught was your
sister's girlfriend. That's so weird.
34
00:01:36,175 --> 00:01:37,882
You're not one of those
"Adam and Eve,
35
00:01:37,907 --> 00:01:39,578
not Adam and Steve" people, are you?
36
00:01:39,603 --> 00:01:42,602
God, no. Purgatory Pride's
my favourite event of the year.
37
00:01:42,635 --> 00:01:44,289
[CHUCKLING] Purgatory has a Pride?
38
00:01:44,314 --> 00:01:47,692
Yeah. We painted
the fire-engine rainbow.
39
00:01:48,808 --> 00:01:50,575
Nicole warned me about you.
40
00:01:50,948 --> 00:01:53,676
- That I'm super flexible?
- No, that you're a hot mess.
41
00:01:53,701 --> 00:01:56,701
Well, it's better
than a cold... tidy.
42
00:02:01,250 --> 00:02:02,876
This was fun.
43
00:02:03,241 --> 00:02:04,841
Thanks for the, uh...
44
00:02:05,724 --> 00:02:08,098
- Pump?
- That's gross.
45
00:02:08,123 --> 00:02:10,959
- Backdraft?
- Did we do that?
46
00:02:10,984 --> 00:02:12,425
Heat?
47
00:02:13,929 --> 00:02:17,052
- [SIREN BLARING]
- Ah... Nah.
48
00:02:18,730 --> 00:02:20,516
Was that me?
49
00:02:27,908 --> 00:02:29,567
Nothing to see here.
50
00:02:29,592 --> 00:02:33,792
Just an adult woman with adult-woman
needs leaving... a fire hall.
51
00:02:33,817 --> 00:02:37,420
- Let me guess: you need a ride.
- I had a ride. I need a nap.
52
00:02:37,523 --> 00:02:39,057
And a... ride.
53
00:02:39,127 --> 00:02:42,048
So you and Doc,
not a thing anymore?
54
00:02:42,073 --> 00:02:44,007
We were never a thing.
55
00:02:44,032 --> 00:02:46,041
And I haven't seen him for a week.
56
00:02:51,217 --> 00:02:53,425
[SIZZLING]
57
00:02:55,069 --> 00:02:57,428
Burns like a mother!
58
00:02:57,453 --> 00:03:01,001
[GRUNTING] Oh...
59
00:03:11,276 --> 00:03:12,910
What have I done?
60
00:03:13,556 --> 00:03:16,057
Bulshar's ring is rejecting you,
61
00:03:16,082 --> 00:03:19,325
now that you're compromised.
62
00:03:19,985 --> 00:03:22,078
Don't worry, my love.
63
00:03:22,103 --> 00:03:24,747
Now we're linked together forever.
64
00:03:24,946 --> 00:03:27,083
Just like you wanted.
65
00:03:27,660 --> 00:03:29,586
[GRUNTING]
66
00:03:31,370 --> 00:03:33,756
Just like I wanted.
67
00:03:34,881 --> 00:03:38,082
[THEME MUSIC]
68
00:03:38,811 --> 00:03:42,765
♪ 'Cause I gave you all I got to give ♪
69
00:03:42,790 --> 00:03:45,119
♪ I know that ain't no way to live ♪
70
00:03:45,144 --> 00:03:49,719
♪ I told that devil to take you back ♪
71
00:03:49,744 --> 00:03:51,688
♪ I told that devil to take you back ♪
72
00:03:51,713 --> 00:03:56,657
- Synced and corrected by martythecrazy -
- www.addic7ed.com -
73
00:03:57,141 --> 00:03:59,757
♪ All you sexy mothers ♪
74
00:03:59,782 --> 00:04:01,133
♪ OTPSI ♪
75
00:04:01,158 --> 00:04:03,024
What's with the children's choir?
76
00:04:03,049 --> 00:04:06,124
It's a bunch of Omicron Tau Psis
slumming it from the big city.
77
00:04:06,149 --> 00:04:08,039
We confiscated their
party bus this morning.
78
00:04:08,064 --> 00:04:11,585
- Who party-buses at 10 a.m.?
- The deeply committed.
79
00:04:12,593 --> 00:04:15,774
Ah... Drink up, friends.
Drink up, brothers.
80
00:04:15,799 --> 00:04:19,302
Drink up, all you sexy... mothers.
81
00:04:19,327 --> 00:04:21,422
- Maybe later.
- Mm. Sorry, I...
82
00:04:21,842 --> 00:04:23,409
I dozed off.
83
00:04:23,434 --> 00:04:25,803
- What's all this?
- Since closing down the abattoir,
84
00:04:25,828 --> 00:04:28,812
thereby rescuing my tall-n'-jazzy,
maybe-kinda boyfriend,
85
00:04:28,837 --> 00:04:31,516
I've been trying to figure out where
Bulshar could've moved his operation.
86
00:04:31,541 --> 00:04:32,908
Nice!
87
00:04:32,933 --> 00:04:35,391
Also, when was the last
time you went home?
88
00:04:35,416 --> 00:04:36,516
Or ate?
89
00:04:36,541 --> 00:04:39,298
Oh, that depends.
What day is it?
90
00:04:39,323 --> 00:04:41,016
We're gonna need to get you
a falafel.
91
00:04:41,041 --> 00:04:44,055
- [GRUNTING] Push with your legs!
- Shut up with your mouth.
92
00:04:44,292 --> 00:04:46,293
Am I finally gonna see your sex cave?
93
00:04:46,747 --> 00:04:48,712
It's more of a closet.
94
00:04:49,031 --> 00:04:51,099
Retired Nedley is kinky.
95
00:04:51,124 --> 00:04:54,712
Everything in there I seized from
crime scenes that didn't feel kosher.
96
00:04:54,819 --> 00:04:56,891
Ones with supernatural element.
97
00:04:56,916 --> 00:04:58,565
Why didn't you turn them over
to Dolls?
98
00:04:58,590 --> 00:05:02,970
Well, initially, I wasn't sure
I could trust him. Now I know.
99
00:05:06,461 --> 00:05:09,184
Whoa.
[LAUGHING]
100
00:05:09,473 --> 00:05:12,205
How long have you been
hiding this stuff?
101
00:05:12,230 --> 00:05:14,165
Since I became Sheriff.
102
00:05:14,373 --> 00:05:16,908
Oh... we're gonna find
dinosaur bones.
103
00:05:16,933 --> 00:05:18,110
Ha-ha.
104
00:05:18,135 --> 00:05:20,601
It's up to you two to decide
what to keep, what to burn.
105
00:05:20,626 --> 00:05:24,362
Huh. It's like Hoarders meets Storage
Wars. And I, for one, am here for it.
106
00:05:24,421 --> 00:05:26,946
How you making out with getting
city council's stamp of approval?
107
00:05:26,971 --> 00:05:28,866
Well, Bunny Loblaw
won't return my calls.
108
00:05:28,891 --> 00:05:30,888
That stuck-up Tuesday's
still around?
109
00:05:30,913 --> 00:05:35,126
Yep. And reigning over city council
with an iron fistula.
110
00:05:35,194 --> 00:05:37,897
Bunny Loblaw's the real
king-maker here in Purgatory.
111
00:05:37,922 --> 00:05:40,803
And she won't return your
calls because she's a bully.
112
00:05:40,828 --> 00:05:43,096
Bullies smell fear, they
just get more vicious.
113
00:05:43,335 --> 00:05:45,470
- Yeah, dummy, everyone knows that.
- Ow...!
114
00:05:45,495 --> 00:05:47,960
You get her on your own turf,
you look her dead in the eye
115
00:05:47,985 --> 00:05:49,882
and you tell her that you're
the only person for the job.
116
00:05:49,907 --> 00:05:55,702
You're right. I am going to call
her and I'm gonna set up a meeting.
117
00:05:55,727 --> 00:05:57,995
Bunny's gonna eat her for lunch.
118
00:05:58,160 --> 00:06:01,570
- Nedley, are you looking at my ass?
- No.
119
00:06:03,080 --> 00:06:06,468
Mm. This'll have to do.
120
00:06:06,701 --> 00:06:08,469
[GUN COCKING]
121
00:06:10,262 --> 00:06:12,197
You shouldn't sneak around
122
00:06:12,319 --> 00:06:16,044
when there's a gun-toting
mental patient on the loose.
123
00:06:16,218 --> 00:06:19,087
- Well, I thought we were friends.
- [MICHELLE CHUCKLING]
124
00:06:19,112 --> 00:06:22,467
You bailed right in the middle
of my Christmas feast.
125
00:06:24,592 --> 00:06:27,471
You find my Brussels sprouts offensive?
126
00:06:28,375 --> 00:06:32,845
I do apologize, ma'am, but...
something came up.
127
00:06:32,870 --> 00:06:34,270
Oh.
128
00:06:41,618 --> 00:06:43,385
You're gonna make it up to me.
129
00:06:44,357 --> 00:06:46,447
I fear this is about to get weird.
130
00:06:46,472 --> 00:06:49,953
Don't worry.
I'll drive if you're tired.
131
00:06:50,553 --> 00:06:52,235
I do not understand.
132
00:06:52,260 --> 00:06:53,927
I need to get out of here.
133
00:06:54,546 --> 00:06:56,114
Just for a little while.
134
00:06:56,139 --> 00:06:58,814
- Cabin fever.
- You don't know the half of it.
135
00:06:58,839 --> 00:07:00,940
Oh, I just might.
136
00:07:01,882 --> 00:07:04,791
Okay... let's go,
137
00:07:04,816 --> 00:07:06,619
before I roll you for the keys.
138
00:07:06,644 --> 00:07:08,679
[CHUCKLING]
139
00:07:08,704 --> 00:07:12,340
[GRUNTING] What do you think about this?
140
00:07:13,770 --> 00:07:16,853
- Urn. Nice.
- Okay.
141
00:07:16,878 --> 00:07:19,579
But is it supernatural?
142
00:07:19,604 --> 00:07:21,393
Supernaturally oogly.
143
00:07:21,418 --> 00:07:22,971
Can you check this out? I...
144
00:07:22,996 --> 00:07:24,530
I found Nedley's old police memo.
145
00:07:24,555 --> 00:07:28,221
"November 9, 1996. Raccoon
stuck in drop ceiling."
146
00:07:28,246 --> 00:07:31,849
[LAUGHING] "Call cleared, but
now require rabies shot."
147
00:07:31,874 --> 00:07:35,351
Wynonna, can you, like,
a little help here, please?
148
00:07:35,376 --> 00:07:39,679
Oh, my God, never...
Holy shit! Baby Nedley.
149
00:07:39,704 --> 00:07:42,139
When you're done with story time,
can you do some actual work?
150
00:07:42,164 --> 00:07:43,811
Nicole,
you're a smart-ish girl.
151
00:07:43,836 --> 00:07:46,000
Surely you've figured out
by now that this whole
152
00:07:46,025 --> 00:07:47,929
"cleaning out the secret
locker" job is bullshit.
153
00:07:47,954 --> 00:07:50,155
Nedley made it up to make us
practice working together.
154
00:07:50,180 --> 00:07:52,741
- He Parent Trapped us.
- None of this stuff matters.
155
00:07:52,766 --> 00:07:55,391
And it sure as hell isn't gonna
help us with our Bulshar problem.
156
00:07:55,416 --> 00:07:58,274
Alright, well, you might be fine
to sit on your ass and do nothing,
157
00:07:58,299 --> 00:07:59,265
but I'm not.
158
00:07:59,290 --> 00:08:01,774
Especially after what he did to Dolls.
159
00:08:03,770 --> 00:08:05,258
You want my help?
160
00:08:05,283 --> 00:08:06,742
- Yes.
- Fine, Nicole.
161
00:08:06,767 --> 00:08:08,961
- Thank you.
- No problem.
162
00:08:08,986 --> 00:08:10,742
- [SIGHING]
- Crap.
163
00:08:10,767 --> 00:08:12,251
[CLATTER]
164
00:08:12,276 --> 00:08:14,856
Crap.
165
00:08:14,881 --> 00:08:17,773
Definitely crap. Not crap.
166
00:08:17,798 --> 00:08:20,132
- More crap!
- Wynonna, you're being reckless!
167
00:08:20,157 --> 00:08:21,492
- Super crap.
- Whoa!
168
00:08:21,517 --> 00:08:23,867
You know what, Deputy Dipshit,
that's kinda my brand,
169
00:08:23,892 --> 00:08:25,706
and it's been working fine so far.
170
00:08:25,731 --> 00:08:29,101
God, I am so sick
of your attitude!
171
00:08:30,948 --> 00:08:35,974
Smooth move, Ginger Spice.
You just earned yourself
seven years' bad luck.
172
00:08:39,988 --> 00:08:44,091
- [THUNDEROUS EXPLOSION]
- [ECHOING RUMBLE]
173
00:08:46,654 --> 00:08:48,755
[GRUNTING]
174
00:09:00,584 --> 00:09:02,180
Hey, Tayla, you seen Doc around lately?
175
00:09:02,205 --> 00:09:02,763
No.
176
00:09:02,797 --> 00:09:05,578
I'll have a whiskey.
Leave the bottle.
177
00:09:07,929 --> 00:09:10,256
Whatcha got there, Sheriff?
178
00:09:10,281 --> 00:09:12,820
Ginger ale.
And it's just Randy now.
179
00:09:12,845 --> 00:09:15,640
Didn't peg you
for a teetotaller, Just Randy.
180
00:09:16,207 --> 00:09:18,208
Well, I'm still on duty.
181
00:09:18,361 --> 00:09:21,492
Those drunken frat boys from the big
city got me running my ass off.
182
00:09:21,517 --> 00:09:24,653
One of the many, many jobs I
won't miss when I retire.
183
00:09:24,678 --> 00:09:27,046
Well, I won't tell if you won't.
184
00:09:29,267 --> 00:09:30,300
Oh.
185
00:09:31,651 --> 00:09:34,286
Look what I found for your
retirement party slideshow.
186
00:09:34,311 --> 00:09:35,712
[CHUCKLING]
187
00:09:38,939 --> 00:09:41,674
It's like your top lip
is wearing a skinny tie.
188
00:09:43,710 --> 00:09:45,444
How's it going
in the evidence locker?
189
00:09:45,469 --> 00:09:47,002
Ugh.
190
00:09:47,121 --> 00:09:50,081
Nicole smashed some stuff. Big surprise.
191
00:09:50,106 --> 00:09:52,875
Must hard to move around with
a giant pickle up your ass.
192
00:09:52,900 --> 00:09:57,003
- Give her some slack, Wynonna.
- You know me. I love slack.
193
00:09:57,028 --> 00:09:59,565
That chick is all work and no play.
Next thing you know,
194
00:09:59,590 --> 00:10:03,831
she's gonna be chopping people up with
an axe like... that dude in the hotel.
195
00:10:03,856 --> 00:10:05,590
Dave at the Motor Inn?
196
00:10:06,460 --> 00:10:09,706
- Him, too.
- Well, go easy on Nicole.
197
00:10:11,863 --> 00:10:14,906
You two have more in
common than you think.
198
00:10:23,282 --> 00:10:25,292
Well, it's worth a shot.
199
00:10:25,636 --> 00:10:28,376
I guess. Okay.
200
00:10:31,704 --> 00:10:33,271
Hi! Bunny.
201
00:10:33,339 --> 00:10:34,840
Uh, come on in.
202
00:10:34,868 --> 00:10:37,136
- I did.
- Can I take your c-coat?
203
00:10:37,243 --> 00:10:40,224
Why? So you can rifle
through the pockets?
204
00:10:41,430 --> 00:10:44,666
Oh! What on God's flat earth is that?
205
00:10:44,691 --> 00:10:47,821
Oh, that's just Calamity Jane.
Please don't worry.
She's super friendly.
206
00:10:47,846 --> 00:10:50,790
I-I don't care what it is.
Either she goes or I go.
207
00:10:50,815 --> 00:10:53,216
I am deathly allergic!
208
00:10:53,241 --> 00:10:54,821
Right. Okay.
209
00:10:56,047 --> 00:10:57,899
Okay. Come on, girlie.
210
00:10:57,924 --> 00:10:59,774
Calamity, you're getting fat.
211
00:10:59,799 --> 00:11:00,610
[MEOWING]
212
00:11:00,635 --> 00:11:05,314
Okay, just make yourself cozy.
One sec. I'll be right back.
213
00:11:16,594 --> 00:11:18,595
Disgusting.
214
00:11:26,232 --> 00:11:27,875
I am sorry, ma'am.
215
00:11:28,000 --> 00:11:30,492
Willa would've been very sorry
about Willa.
216
00:11:30,517 --> 00:11:32,250
That was always her first thought.
217
00:11:32,275 --> 00:11:34,492
Willa was Ward's... pet.
218
00:11:34,517 --> 00:11:37,961
God, she was... spoiled and
she had a mean streak.
219
00:11:38,055 --> 00:11:40,601
She'd have been a terrible heir.
220
00:11:42,349 --> 00:11:44,350
She was just a child.
221
00:11:44,375 --> 00:11:46,664
Yeah, she was my baby.
222
00:11:46,689 --> 00:11:49,460
I'm so sorry I wasn't
there to protect you.
223
00:11:52,845 --> 00:11:54,891
- Hey, where you going now?
- Come on.
224
00:11:54,916 --> 00:11:56,617
I'll tell you which way to turn.
225
00:11:56,642 --> 00:11:58,922
Ms. Gibson. Michelle!
It's freezing out here.
226
00:11:58,947 --> 00:12:01,335
Oh, stop being a wiener.
Come on.
227
00:12:01,360 --> 00:12:03,125
Besides, I know you got
a bottle of tequila
228
00:12:03,150 --> 00:12:05,861
stashed under your seat, and
that's gonna get us through.
229
00:12:05,886 --> 00:12:09,855
So I have some great ideas
on how to make the town safer
230
00:12:09,880 --> 00:12:11,828
and the department run more efficiently.
231
00:12:11,853 --> 00:12:14,355
Well, that's all well and good,
Deputy Haught,
232
00:12:14,380 --> 00:12:16,314
but my main concern is this.
233
00:12:16,339 --> 00:12:18,373
Randy Nedley is full of shit.
234
00:12:18,398 --> 00:12:20,828
- Excuse me?
- I am so sick and tired
235
00:12:20,853 --> 00:12:22,400
of being kept in the dark
236
00:12:22,425 --> 00:12:25,367
about all the strange
occurrences in Purgatory.
237
00:12:25,392 --> 00:12:29,095
I won't be lied to about what's
really going on in my town,
238
00:12:29,120 --> 00:12:30,353
under my nose.
239
00:12:31,762 --> 00:12:34,297
- Which is what exactly?
- Well, you tell me.
240
00:12:34,322 --> 00:12:37,257
That's why I'm here. Unless
you don't want to be sheriff.
241
00:12:37,340 --> 00:12:39,172
And don't give me that hooey
242
00:12:39,197 --> 00:12:44,501
about costume parties gone
awry or zoo animals escaping.
243
00:12:44,609 --> 00:12:49,468
Well, Bunny, um, Purgatory,
it's a very unique... town
244
00:12:49,493 --> 00:12:52,235
with... unique challenges.
245
00:12:52,260 --> 00:12:55,336
Sorry to interrupt. Just need to
talk to Deputy Tater Haught for a sec.
246
00:12:55,361 --> 00:12:57,141
Wynonna,
this is really not a good time.
247
00:12:57,166 --> 00:12:58,735
Actually, it's perfect timing.
248
00:12:58,760 --> 00:13:02,198
Because I'm thinking of
backing Wynonna for Sheriff.
249
00:13:02,595 --> 00:13:05,618
- [LAUGHTER]
- You can't be serious.
250
00:13:05,643 --> 00:13:07,444
I'm dead serious.
251
00:13:07,469 --> 00:13:10,287
Wynonna, you are a straight-shooter.
252
00:13:10,312 --> 00:13:12,880
- You're one tough bitch.
- Hey-o.
253
00:13:12,905 --> 00:13:16,321
And the Earps are one of
Purgatory's original families.
254
00:13:16,702 --> 00:13:18,298
This one...
255
00:13:18,323 --> 00:13:20,923
- This one?
- Sorry, what about "this one"?
256
00:13:20,948 --> 00:13:24,417
What Purgatory needs
is a homegrown hero,
257
00:13:24,442 --> 00:13:27,644
not some fly-by-night outsider,
258
00:13:27,669 --> 00:13:30,737
who, let's face it, is a little too...
259
00:13:32,109 --> 00:13:33,743
different.
260
00:13:34,620 --> 00:13:38,532
- Can I just... real quick, for a sec?
- One sec. We'll just...
261
00:13:38,557 --> 00:13:40,313
in the kitchen.
262
00:13:40,338 --> 00:13:44,142
Wait until Bunny finds out
about Purgatory Pride.
263
00:13:44,167 --> 00:13:46,798
- What are you doing here?!
- Right!
264
00:13:46,823 --> 00:13:49,196
- Uh, it's about Nedley and you...
- And me...
265
00:13:49,221 --> 00:13:53,118
[LAUGHING] Did Buns Buns
really just say I could be...?
266
00:13:53,143 --> 00:13:55,329
Oh, no, you cannot take that job.
267
00:13:55,354 --> 00:13:58,017
- I don't want that job.
- Yeah, 'cause you would be a disaster.
268
00:13:58,042 --> 00:14:01,249
- No shit, Not Sheriff.
- You have no police training,
269
00:14:01,274 --> 00:14:04,204
you're terrible with authority, you're
not even qualified to run a Chipotle!
270
00:14:04,229 --> 00:14:06,664
Guac-a-cuse me? You know what?
271
00:14:06,689 --> 00:14:10,094
Maybe I'd like to be Sheriff Nedley 2.0.
272
00:14:10,119 --> 00:14:12,805
Oh, I'm your boss after all.
273
00:14:12,830 --> 00:14:15,789
Well, excuse me, but you can't even do
one single assignment properly
274
00:14:15,814 --> 00:14:16,798
without breaking a gazillion rules
275
00:14:16,823 --> 00:14:19,142
and a creepy-ass mirror in the process!
276
00:14:19,167 --> 00:14:22,914
Oh, oh, oh, God, oh... ISIS!
277
00:14:22,939 --> 00:14:24,454
What rules?!
278
00:14:24,479 --> 00:14:27,658
Purgatory is the goddamn Thunderdome
and I'm Tina friggin' Turner!
279
00:14:27,683 --> 00:14:29,735
- What are you talking about?!
- Point is,
280
00:14:29,760 --> 00:14:31,938
you can wrap yourself up
in the rules like a...
281
00:14:31,963 --> 00:14:34,110
snug little blanket to
keep you warm at night,
282
00:14:34,135 --> 00:14:36,291
but I'm gonna go get shit done.
283
00:14:38,486 --> 00:14:40,500
Balls! Bunny's dead.
284
00:14:40,525 --> 00:14:42,188
[MEOWING]
285
00:14:42,213 --> 00:14:43,454
[GASPING] Calamity Jane! She's allergic!
286
00:14:43,479 --> 00:14:44,704
Yeah.
287
00:14:45,349 --> 00:14:46,642
Bunny? Hey.
288
00:14:46,667 --> 00:14:48,212
I know a dozen places
we can hide the body.
289
00:14:48,237 --> 00:14:50,830
Oh... oh... She's still alive.
290
00:14:50,855 --> 00:14:52,251
Fine,
I'll save them for next time.
291
00:14:52,276 --> 00:14:53,649
Uh, her purse.
Wynonna, get her purse!
292
00:14:53,674 --> 00:14:57,532
- Yeah, cash.
- No! Medication, Wynonna!
293
00:14:57,940 --> 00:14:59,874
Ah, crap.
294
00:14:59,899 --> 00:15:01,700
[MUMBLING]
295
00:15:01,725 --> 00:15:04,823
Oh! Is this Oxy?! Ow.
296
00:15:04,848 --> 00:15:07,009
- Oh, the tea.
- Oh!
297
00:15:08,501 --> 00:15:12,023
Alright, Bunny, here we go,
here we go. Swallow.
298
00:15:12,048 --> 00:15:15,084
C'mon, c'mon, you old bat! Oh.
299
00:15:15,109 --> 00:15:17,834
Okay.
[BUNNY EXCLAIMING]
300
00:15:18,629 --> 00:15:22,031
- I don't need a doctor!
- How about an exorcist, Bun Bun?
301
00:15:22,056 --> 00:15:23,921
Okay, let's put her in my
cruiser. We'll get her faster
302
00:15:23,946 --> 00:15:25,594
to the hospital with the
lights and sirens on.
303
00:15:25,619 --> 00:15:27,558
Don't take me
to Purgatory General!
304
00:15:27,583 --> 00:15:29,110
They have too many immigrant doctors!
305
00:15:29,135 --> 00:15:31,569
- Okay, that's enough out of you.
- Ow! Jeez!
306
00:15:31,594 --> 00:15:35,142
- Go inside, get her purse.
- So you do wanna rob her?
307
00:15:35,167 --> 00:15:36,961
No, I want to get her meds.
The doctors need them to diagnose her.
308
00:15:36,986 --> 00:15:37,892
Go, go, go!
309
00:15:37,917 --> 00:15:39,040
Get her to the hospital
and get the meds after.
310
00:15:39,065 --> 00:15:39,875
What the hell?!
311
00:15:39,900 --> 00:15:41,360
I will get them. You want
something done right!
312
00:15:41,385 --> 00:15:44,100
- No, I will do it.
- [SHOUTING]
313
00:15:44,125 --> 00:15:48,243
What is going on?!
[INDISTINCT SHOUTING]
314
00:15:48,268 --> 00:15:50,402
[SHOUTING]
315
00:15:52,906 --> 00:15:56,082
You have gotta be freakin'
kidding me!
316
00:15:56,625 --> 00:16:00,585
- [BUNNY SHOUTING]
- Look who needs my help now.
317
00:16:02,272 --> 00:16:04,372
- What are you doing?
- Get in.
318
00:16:04,397 --> 00:16:07,114
Dude, I have her keys.
What about your truck?
319
00:16:07,139 --> 00:16:09,295
Battery's dead.
I blame your cat for that, too.
320
00:16:09,320 --> 00:16:10,193
Okay, well, I should drive,
321
00:16:10,218 --> 00:16:11,989
because then we're not
stealing Bunny's car,
322
00:16:12,014 --> 00:16:13,581
we're just commandeering
it for official police...
323
00:16:13,606 --> 00:16:16,142
- Bigger fish, Nicole.
- Okay.
324
00:16:16,638 --> 00:16:18,978
Okay, great, I'll call Waverly.
325
00:16:19,003 --> 00:16:20,370
- We're logging on now.
- [NICOLE]: Hurry.
326
00:16:20,426 --> 00:16:22,360
We need to make sure Bunny's okay.
327
00:16:22,385 --> 00:16:25,763
[SNORTING] Sorry, sorry, but it's...
it's kind of funny.
328
00:16:25,788 --> 00:16:27,665
You guys have some terrible luck today.
329
00:16:27,690 --> 00:16:29,678
Like "black fly in your
Chardonnay" kind of terrible.
330
00:16:29,703 --> 00:16:31,867
[WYNONNA]: Speed it up,
Jagged Little Nerd.
331
00:16:32,674 --> 00:16:36,420
Okay.
Pinging the cruiser's GPS,
332
00:16:36,445 --> 00:16:39,139
and... good news! It's parked.
333
00:16:39,164 --> 00:16:42,779
Bunny Nut Cheerios!
You need to hurry.
334
00:16:42,804 --> 00:16:44,357
Later.
335
00:16:44,941 --> 00:16:49,788
Ugh! Of course those two frat brats
drove your car to a biker bar!
336
00:16:49,813 --> 00:16:50,725
Yeah, well,
337
00:16:50,750 --> 00:16:53,209
maybe they're friendly bikers hosting
a Golden Girls Trivia Night.
338
00:16:53,234 --> 00:16:55,725
Well, Rose,
we are not in St. Olaf anymore.
339
00:16:55,750 --> 00:16:58,428
Get me outta here,
you white-trash tart!!
340
00:16:58,453 --> 00:17:00,834
You're feeling better.
Try your handle.
341
00:17:00,859 --> 00:17:01,881
I am!!
342
00:17:01,906 --> 00:17:03,301
It doesn't open from the inside.
343
00:17:03,326 --> 00:17:05,994
It's a safety feature. Haven't you
been arrested, like, 500 times?!
344
00:17:06,019 --> 00:17:09,318
- Not the time, Nicole!
- Luckily, I always have a spare key.
345
00:17:09,343 --> 00:17:11,111
Oh, good.
346
00:17:12,588 --> 00:17:16,920
- [GASPING]
- You are some kind of moron, Haught!
347
00:17:16,945 --> 00:17:19,580
Whoa! Bullet could ricochet
and hit Bunny.
348
00:17:19,605 --> 00:17:21,940
- I'm willing to take the risk.
- Or us.
349
00:17:22,436 --> 00:17:23,436
Okay.
350
00:17:23,461 --> 00:17:25,231
Why don't we just call
the fire department?
351
00:17:25,256 --> 00:17:26,303
- They can pop the door off.
- No!!
352
00:17:26,328 --> 00:17:27,748
- What?
- Do not do that.
353
00:17:27,781 --> 00:17:29,397
They'll never let us
sheriffs live it down.
354
00:17:29,422 --> 00:17:30,767
Okay, you got a better idea?
355
00:17:31,107 --> 00:17:33,889
Yeah. We go in and find
Tweedle Dee, Tweedle Douche,
356
00:17:33,914 --> 00:17:35,631
we're in and out five minutes, tops.
357
00:17:35,656 --> 00:17:38,732
If we get the keys, she'll never
notice, we're good to go. Let's go.
358
00:17:38,757 --> 00:17:42,240
Don't leave me in here,
you sonsofbitches!!
359
00:17:42,265 --> 00:17:44,584
You are gonna hear from my lawyer!!
360
00:17:45,240 --> 00:17:47,811
[BACKGROUND CHATTER]
Peacemaker?
361
00:17:47,836 --> 00:17:49,335
We're outnumbered.
362
00:17:49,360 --> 00:17:52,238
We don't want Bunny to think
we went in guns blazing.
363
00:17:52,489 --> 00:17:54,282
[WYNONNA SCOFFING]
364
00:17:55,962 --> 00:18:01,767
I couldn't wait
to join the rodeo circuit
and flee this shithole town.
365
00:18:01,792 --> 00:18:04,061
Then I came back one...
366
00:18:04,086 --> 00:18:07,850
long August weekend and
I got drunk, pregnant.
367
00:18:07,875 --> 00:18:09,977
Ended up marrying Ward Earp.
368
00:18:10,464 --> 00:18:12,842
Well, he did give you
three beautiful daughters.
369
00:18:12,867 --> 00:18:16,603
No, he gave me two. Waverly
was Julian's, remember?
370
00:18:19,487 --> 00:18:21,537
What's it like,
being with an angel?
371
00:18:21,562 --> 00:18:23,563
What's it like being with a demon?
372
00:18:29,074 --> 00:18:31,022
No, Julian made me feel like
373
00:18:31,047 --> 00:18:34,180
I didn't have to break
my spirit to be happy.
374
00:18:35,850 --> 00:18:38,082
- I do know what that is like.
- Hmm.
375
00:18:38,107 --> 00:18:40,350
The night Waverly was born...
376
00:18:41,253 --> 00:18:45,123
Ward pushed Julian outside
of the Ghost River Triangle.
377
00:18:46,243 --> 00:18:48,217
It happened right here.
378
00:18:48,242 --> 00:18:50,677
He's been lost ever since.
379
00:18:50,702 --> 00:18:52,236
How do you know that?
380
00:18:54,801 --> 00:18:56,570
Bobo told me.
381
00:18:56,595 --> 00:18:59,064
Del Rey? You talked to him?
382
00:18:59,209 --> 00:19:01,809
I did more than talk to him.
383
00:19:01,834 --> 00:19:04,790
I gave him the Christmas
dinner that you didn't want.
384
00:19:04,815 --> 00:19:06,449
And his freedom.
385
00:19:07,729 --> 00:19:10,673
Are you out
of your godforsaken mind, woman?
386
00:19:10,698 --> 00:19:13,556
I think we've established,
yes, sometimes.
387
00:19:13,581 --> 00:19:17,868
- You have unleashed a monster.
- Bulshar has risen, sweet cheeks.
388
00:19:17,893 --> 00:19:19,560
These are end times.
389
00:19:19,585 --> 00:19:22,610
It's gonna take monsters
to fight a monster.
390
00:19:22,635 --> 00:19:27,189
Bobo Del Rey has tried to kill
your daughters multiple times.
391
00:19:27,214 --> 00:19:29,082
Nobody's perfect.
392
00:19:29,107 --> 00:19:32,509
You do not get to make those
life-or-death decisions for them!
393
00:19:32,534 --> 00:19:34,568
Who's gonna stop me?
394
00:19:34,593 --> 00:19:36,572
You, Johnny Hank?
395
00:19:36,597 --> 00:19:39,227
Mm. If necessary.
396
00:19:39,252 --> 00:19:40,697
Well, good.
397
00:19:40,722 --> 00:19:42,720
Seems like now we're finally talking.
398
00:19:42,745 --> 00:19:46,173
- So here's my terms.
- [REVENANTS]: Yeah!!!
399
00:19:46,198 --> 00:19:49,307
What should we do
with these interlopers?
400
00:19:49,332 --> 00:19:52,486
Release them to the woods and
hunt them down like dogs?
401
00:19:52,511 --> 00:19:55,150
- [ALL]: Yeah!!
- Or, or...
402
00:19:55,175 --> 00:19:59,445
we could eviscerate them
right here on the bar.
403
00:19:59,470 --> 00:20:00,947
[REVENANTS AGREEING]
404
00:20:00,972 --> 00:20:03,474
Are you gonna stay late
and clean up that mess?
405
00:20:03,499 --> 00:20:06,167
'Cause I'm not. Suggestions?
406
00:20:06,192 --> 00:20:08,960
- Anyone else?
- [REVENANTS SHOUTING]
407
00:20:08,985 --> 00:20:10,829
[GRUNTING]
408
00:20:10,854 --> 00:20:13,589
Yah-ha.
That might be a good idea.
409
00:20:13,614 --> 00:20:15,346
- Shhh-shhh.
- [REVENANT LAUGHING]
410
00:20:15,371 --> 00:20:17,973
Well, well, well.
411
00:20:17,998 --> 00:20:20,251
Looks like today is our lucky day.
412
00:20:20,276 --> 00:20:23,008
Seems the would-be sheriff and the heir
413
00:20:23,033 --> 00:20:25,338
have decided to join
us for a little drink.
414
00:20:25,363 --> 00:20:26,595
[WYNONNA CHUCKLING]
415
00:20:26,620 --> 00:20:28,986
We were dumb to think
we could pull a fast one on you.
416
00:20:29,011 --> 00:20:31,446
But I can tell you're men of sport.
417
00:20:31,471 --> 00:20:35,882
And, you know, where's the sport in
ripping Dumb and Doucher to shreds?
418
00:20:35,907 --> 00:20:37,696
What are you proposin'?
419
00:20:38,320 --> 00:20:41,202
I'm proposing
that you let them go,
420
00:20:41,227 --> 00:20:42,359
and...
421
00:20:42,384 --> 00:20:46,921
you and me and, uh, Deputy
Haught to Trot here
422
00:20:46,946 --> 00:20:48,890
have ourselves a little contest.
423
00:20:49,309 --> 00:20:51,010
What are you good at?
424
00:20:51,195 --> 00:20:53,046
- Golden Girls Trivia.
- Drinking.
425
00:20:53,071 --> 00:20:56,241
You really wanna challenge me
to a drinking contest?
426
00:20:56,266 --> 00:20:58,167
Mm-hmm. I do.
427
00:20:58,192 --> 00:21:01,069
And... if we win, then you let us go.
428
00:21:01,094 --> 00:21:05,725
- What happens when I win?
- Then you...
429
00:21:05,750 --> 00:21:08,038
get to... kill us.
430
00:21:08,400 --> 00:21:10,750
You could've just offered them
cash.
431
00:21:10,775 --> 00:21:13,927
I didn't work it out all the way
to the end before I pitched it.
432
00:21:13,952 --> 00:21:16,788
You must be
the stupidest heir yet.
433
00:21:16,813 --> 00:21:18,663
Definitely in the top five.
434
00:21:18,688 --> 00:21:20,972
[LAUGHTER] Okay.
435
00:21:20,997 --> 00:21:22,945
Let them Greeks go.
436
00:21:23,514 --> 00:21:25,679
You owe us. Take the
cruiser and the old bag
437
00:21:25,704 --> 00:21:27,608
in the backseat and get
to the hospital, okay?
438
00:21:27,633 --> 00:21:31,169
- Yes, ma'am.
- Now... let's get pissed!
439
00:21:31,194 --> 00:21:34,140
- [REVENANTS]: Yeah!
- [CHEERING]
440
00:21:34,788 --> 00:21:36,897
I'm worried.
Neither of them are answering.
441
00:21:36,922 --> 00:21:39,157
Okay, wait, wait.
Let's just recap.
442
00:21:39,182 --> 00:21:42,498
First, Bunny has a heart
attack at Nicole's.
443
00:21:42,523 --> 00:21:43,195
Yes.
444
00:21:43,220 --> 00:21:45,225
Then the cruiser gets
stolen with Bunny in it.
445
00:21:45,252 --> 00:21:48,523
Then it just happens to end
up at a Revenant roadhouse?
446
00:21:48,548 --> 00:21:51,854
Doesn't that sound
spectacularly unlucky to you?
447
00:21:53,612 --> 00:21:56,757
Too unlucky to be a coincidence?
448
00:21:58,078 --> 00:22:00,843
Mirror, mirror, on the floor...
449
00:22:05,959 --> 00:22:09,763
Maybe if we put it back together,
their luck will change?
450
00:22:09,788 --> 00:22:11,421
Well, it can't get any worse.
451
00:22:11,446 --> 00:22:13,522
- Okay.
- One...
452
00:22:13,547 --> 00:22:16,882
two, three, drink.
453
00:22:18,762 --> 00:22:20,608
[GROANING]
454
00:22:20,633 --> 00:22:23,210
Mm, is that all you got?
455
00:22:23,235 --> 00:22:26,371
Come on, fella, let's take this
up a notch, huh? Grab the ouzo.
456
00:22:26,396 --> 00:22:28,331
I really wish
you would stop helping.
457
00:22:28,356 --> 00:22:32,561
One, two, three, drink!
458
00:22:34,913 --> 00:22:36,447
Ah!
[WINCING]
459
00:22:37,507 --> 00:22:39,716
How you feeling there, Rolfy boy?
460
00:22:39,741 --> 00:22:41,320
- I feel good.
- Good.
461
00:22:41,345 --> 00:22:42,929
I feel strong.
462
00:22:42,954 --> 00:22:44,288
I failed college.
463
00:22:44,313 --> 00:22:48,382
How are you not bombed? You
weigh, like, eight pounds.
464
00:22:48,407 --> 00:22:51,241
I like you. Ena,
465
00:22:51,266 --> 00:22:54,179
dio, tria!
466
00:23:02,383 --> 00:23:05,851
- What's wrong?
- [BELCHING]
467
00:23:06,502 --> 00:23:09,427
- [EXCLAMATIONS]
- Game over, lightweight!
468
00:23:09,452 --> 00:23:11,147
What? I swallowed it!
469
00:23:11,172 --> 00:23:13,825
And it came back up, which means
you lose. Everybody knows that.
470
00:23:13,850 --> 00:23:16,468
It's true, man.
Everyone knows that.
471
00:23:17,257 --> 00:23:21,273
Well, we won fair and square.
Uncuff us.
472
00:23:21,298 --> 00:23:24,140
Hang on!
[SNIFFING]
473
00:23:25,406 --> 00:23:28,350
You've been spitting your
shots into this bottle.
474
00:23:28,375 --> 00:23:31,685
No, she hasn't.
You haven't, right?
475
00:23:31,710 --> 00:23:34,429
- I learned it from Coyote Ugly.
- Oh, I love that movie!
476
00:23:34,454 --> 00:23:35,854
You broke the rules.
477
00:23:36,197 --> 00:23:38,132
Now I get to break your necks.
478
00:23:38,157 --> 00:23:40,765
- Ooh, good one.
- [ROARING]
479
00:23:40,790 --> 00:23:43,147
- [SCREAMING]
- Stop!!
480
00:23:43,172 --> 00:23:44,639
- Stop quipping and run!
- Yep.
481
00:23:44,664 --> 00:23:47,374
Okay!
[GRUNTING]
482
00:23:48,195 --> 00:23:51,397
- [REVENANTS SHOUTING]
- [GRUNTING]
483
00:23:51,831 --> 00:23:53,765
Hurry up! The cuff's chafing.
484
00:23:53,790 --> 00:23:56,468
You're going too fast and I'm too drunk.
485
00:23:56,493 --> 00:23:57,243
Ugh!
486
00:23:57,268 --> 00:23:59,983
- You are literally the worst!
- Climb!
487
00:24:00,008 --> 00:24:02,663
Climb! Climb!
488
00:24:09,044 --> 00:24:11,312
You found my mementos.
489
00:24:11,762 --> 00:24:15,208
You mean the souvenirs of all
the people you have killed?
490
00:24:15,233 --> 00:24:17,853
- That's a vulgar way to put it.
- It is the truth.
491
00:24:18,184 --> 00:24:20,334
Is it Wynonna you're helping?
492
00:24:21,306 --> 00:24:23,640
In a manner of speaking.
493
00:24:23,856 --> 00:24:25,323
She must be some woman
494
00:24:25,348 --> 00:24:28,432
if you're willing to give up
one of your precious pistols.
495
00:24:28,963 --> 00:24:31,220
It's sweet you think she'd want you now.
496
00:24:32,081 --> 00:24:34,850
You know
how your jealousy bores me.
497
00:24:34,875 --> 00:24:36,213
As you really are.
498
00:24:36,238 --> 00:24:38,385
Wynonna helped make me as I am.
499
00:24:38,410 --> 00:24:40,311
[GROWLING]
500
00:24:40,637 --> 00:24:43,606
I did!
Because you asked me to!
501
00:24:46,603 --> 00:24:48,304
My Henry.
502
00:24:49,344 --> 00:24:52,182
The greatest gunslinger that ever lived.
503
00:24:52,524 --> 00:24:55,126
A filthy, rotten scoundrel.
504
00:24:56,176 --> 00:24:59,345
All this helping and sacrificing
she has you doing...
505
00:24:59,370 --> 00:25:02,506
- She thinks I can be better.
- Than what?
506
00:25:02,843 --> 00:25:04,477
It's beneath you.
507
00:25:04,544 --> 00:25:07,413
Wynonna is breaking your spirit.
508
00:25:07,481 --> 00:25:11,550
But I love you when
you're at your worst.
509
00:25:12,534 --> 00:25:13,968
Maybe even more.
510
00:25:19,287 --> 00:25:20,988
Then you'll know...
511
00:25:21,013 --> 00:25:23,281
I'm not a man that does ultimatums.
512
00:25:23,306 --> 00:25:24,907
Or likes to choose.
513
00:25:24,932 --> 00:25:27,276
[CHUCKLING] You have chosen.
514
00:25:27,645 --> 00:25:30,742
And you're mine, forever now.
515
00:25:30,767 --> 00:25:34,136
[GROWLING] So go, tell the Earp heir.
516
00:25:34,823 --> 00:25:38,325
See if she welcomes you
back into her bed.
517
00:25:41,630 --> 00:25:43,543
[SNARLING]
518
00:25:43,899 --> 00:25:47,561
We wouldn't be in this mess
if you just played by the rules!
519
00:25:47,586 --> 00:25:50,264
There are no rules
in this shit-town, Nicole!
520
00:25:50,289 --> 00:25:52,867
If you wanna be all normal and
law-abiding, do it somewhere else!
521
00:25:52,892 --> 00:25:55,140
You know what? Get your ass
out of your head, Wynonna!
522
00:25:55,165 --> 00:25:56,703
You're not the only one
who's been through stuff.
523
00:25:56,728 --> 00:26:00,890
Oh, right, I forgot.
You survived a massacre.
524
00:26:00,915 --> 00:26:04,867
- Yeah, that one is legit as F.
- You're right I did.
525
00:26:04,892 --> 00:26:08,265
Ans so I'm not about to die
here handcuffed to a criminal!
526
00:26:08,290 --> 00:26:09,429
You, by the way.
527
00:26:09,454 --> 00:26:11,489
- [WYNONNA ROARING]
- Oh! Real mature!
528
00:26:11,514 --> 00:26:14,537
You know what?
You survived some shit,
529
00:26:14,562 --> 00:26:16,547
and I cannot wait for your TED Talk,
530
00:26:16,572 --> 00:26:18,945
but get back to me when you're cursed!
531
00:26:18,970 --> 00:26:20,742
- Jesus!
- [CLICKING]
532
00:26:20,767 --> 00:26:23,135
- Mother bad-lucker, it's jammed.
- Argh!
533
00:26:23,160 --> 00:26:25,476
Not even like Space or strawberry,
534
00:26:25,501 --> 00:26:27,461
but the bad kind of jam!
535
00:26:30,983 --> 00:26:36,256
Well, aren't you two
a pair of catty little bitches?
536
00:26:36,281 --> 00:26:37,421
I like it.
537
00:26:37,446 --> 00:26:40,273
All that animosity running
through your veins...
538
00:26:40,298 --> 00:26:42,703
- [GRUNTING]
- You're basting in it.
539
00:26:42,728 --> 00:26:45,856
Oh, it'll make you taste so much better.
540
00:26:48,175 --> 00:26:51,041
- You be Scott.
- You be Tessa.
541
00:27:05,230 --> 00:27:07,813
- We make a pretty good team.
- Yeah, our chemistry's solid.
542
00:27:07,838 --> 00:27:09,081
- [CRACKING]
- Ah!
543
00:27:09,106 --> 00:27:09,798
Okay.
544
00:27:09,823 --> 00:27:12,831
- [GRUNTING] Yep.
- [SHOUTING]
545
00:27:17,000 --> 00:27:18,868
[ROARING]
546
00:27:18,893 --> 00:27:22,040
As much as I love a feel-good
ending, this ain't it.
547
00:27:22,065 --> 00:27:23,338
Any last words?
548
00:27:23,363 --> 00:27:25,864
- I miss Macaulay Culkin!
- Tell Waverly I love her!
549
00:27:25,889 --> 00:27:29,253
- Sure, make me look like an asshole.
- [GRUNTING]
550
00:27:29,278 --> 00:27:31,859
[GROANING]
551
00:27:35,121 --> 00:27:38,323
You owe me a wife.
552
00:27:38,348 --> 00:27:40,651
- Is this better, or worse?
- Worse.
553
00:27:40,676 --> 00:27:42,604
Okay.
554
00:27:44,044 --> 00:27:46,251
There's... there's gotta be
one more piece!
555
00:27:46,276 --> 00:27:48,933
Ah, whoop, there it is!
Here, here.
556
00:27:48,958 --> 00:27:51,284
- Oh! Oh, my God.
- Okay, bad luck over?
557
00:27:51,309 --> 00:27:54,331
- We fixed it! Did we fix it?
- I dunno.
558
00:27:55,724 --> 00:27:58,253
- There's a mountain man!!
- A gross, scabby mountain man!!
559
00:27:58,278 --> 00:27:59,995
So not fixed, then.
560
00:28:00,679 --> 00:28:02,737
Not so fast, Gandalf!
561
00:28:02,762 --> 00:28:04,362
No!
562
00:28:04,387 --> 00:28:08,471
- [MOUNTAIN MAN SNARLING]
- You shall not pass!!!
563
00:28:08,496 --> 00:28:10,363
[ROARING]
564
00:28:12,481 --> 00:28:15,698
Yeah, on second thought,
you do you, man...
565
00:28:16,201 --> 00:28:18,347
Ah!!
566
00:28:18,372 --> 00:28:21,999
One of you will be my new wife!
567
00:28:22,024 --> 00:28:24,253
- Not it.
- Did he just say wife?
568
00:28:24,278 --> 00:28:26,046
Come on.
569
00:28:26,071 --> 00:28:28,769
- Help.
- [GROWLING]
570
00:28:31,220 --> 00:28:33,315
Shit!
571
00:28:35,794 --> 00:28:39,163
[WAVERLY]: Okay, the mirror wasn't
the only thing they broke, right?
572
00:28:39,188 --> 00:28:41,440
- Wait. What's this?
- Is that ceramic?
573
00:28:41,465 --> 00:28:44,909
It looks like a...
a lawn ornament?
574
00:28:45,976 --> 00:28:47,543
He's not an ogre.
575
00:28:47,568 --> 00:28:49,159
He's a gnome!
576
00:28:49,184 --> 00:28:54,165
- How does that help us?!
- You owe me a wife. Now choose.
577
00:28:54,190 --> 00:28:56,829
- How could we possibly...
- She'd make a great gnome wife.
578
00:28:56,854 --> 00:29:00,370
- Ooh, loving a good puzzle.
- She's beautiful and...
579
00:29:00,395 --> 00:29:02,870
annoyingly noble. And I
know she's great in bed,
580
00:29:02,902 --> 00:29:04,923
because my house has very thin walls.
581
00:29:04,948 --> 00:29:06,440
- Quick, quick, quick, quick!
- Stop!
582
00:29:06,465 --> 00:29:07,857
You should choose Wynonna.
583
00:29:07,882 --> 00:29:10,884
She is funny and irrepressible,
584
00:29:10,909 --> 00:29:13,979
and she always goes to the mat
for the people she loves.
585
00:29:14,004 --> 00:29:14,792
More tape!
586
00:29:14,817 --> 00:29:17,259
Oh, and she's super fertile!
It was one time.
587
00:29:17,284 --> 00:29:19,972
You stick to that, I will do tape.
588
00:29:19,997 --> 00:29:24,233
I think this would be a really good
time to tell you that I am a lesbian.
589
00:29:24,258 --> 00:29:26,698
Oh, like you never went through
an experimental phase.
590
00:29:26,723 --> 00:29:27,962
Not with gnomes!
591
00:29:27,987 --> 00:29:30,409
That's very narrow-minded,
Nicole! Love is love!
592
00:29:30,434 --> 00:29:32,806
Stop talking!!!
[SCREAMING]
593
00:29:32,831 --> 00:29:34,792
[GRUNTING]
594
00:29:34,817 --> 00:29:37,357
Okay. [GRUNTING]
595
00:29:37,382 --> 00:29:40,651
Ugh! You want a wife,
but you need a mint.
596
00:29:41,059 --> 00:29:43,457
- We're missing a piece!
- Okay, I got the knees!
597
00:29:43,482 --> 00:29:45,940
I got the... Oh, my God, these are...
598
00:29:45,965 --> 00:29:48,912
Boobs?! Oh, hell gnome,
it's a lady!
599
00:29:48,937 --> 00:29:51,440
They broke his gnome wife!
Quick, stick the boobs back on!
600
00:29:51,465 --> 00:29:54,570
- That is a lawsuit waiting to happen!
- Okay, fine, I'll do it!
601
00:29:54,595 --> 00:29:55,862
With the utmost respect, okay?
602
00:29:55,887 --> 00:29:57,554
Just... hand me the double-sided tape!
603
00:29:57,579 --> 00:29:59,838
Oh, God, I really wish
we had a gnome bra!
604
00:29:59,863 --> 00:30:01,596
Done!
605
00:30:01,621 --> 00:30:03,253
There.
606
00:30:07,829 --> 00:30:11,222
Monique! You're alright.
607
00:30:15,204 --> 00:30:17,138
Oh, buh-buh-buh-buh!
608
00:30:17,163 --> 00:30:18,735
Ah!
609
00:30:21,458 --> 00:30:24,493
Aw, that was kind of...
Sweet.
610
00:30:24,518 --> 00:30:26,206
And romantic.
611
00:30:26,231 --> 00:30:29,065
Exactly how
my first Grindr date ended.
612
00:30:30,457 --> 00:30:32,315
I've said too much.
613
00:30:32,340 --> 00:30:34,292
Found it at the old roadhouse.
614
00:30:34,317 --> 00:30:35,886
Doors were open, keys
were in the ignition.
615
00:30:35,911 --> 00:30:37,815
I wouldn't drive it for more than a day.
616
00:30:37,840 --> 00:30:41,253
You never know when the owner's gonna
sober up and report it stolen.
617
00:30:41,278 --> 00:30:44,739
Okay. We got some cash, an ID.
618
00:30:44,764 --> 00:30:49,473
Ooh, I knew an outlaw'd get what's needed
when I need to get out of Dodge fast.
619
00:30:49,632 --> 00:30:53,448
Oh, but... I'm not gonna
take your pistol.
620
00:30:53,473 --> 00:30:55,026
We both know you might need that.
621
00:30:55,051 --> 00:30:56,985
[SIGHING] Much obliged.
622
00:30:57,010 --> 00:31:00,120
Otherwise, nicely done,
Johnny Hank.
623
00:31:00,145 --> 00:31:02,448
Wish I could say the same.
624
00:31:02,601 --> 00:31:04,542
Is this where you beg me to stay?
625
00:31:04,567 --> 00:31:06,839
Oh, I do not beg.
626
00:31:08,704 --> 00:31:11,956
Anyways, this gives us our best
chance at keeping them safe.
627
00:31:11,981 --> 00:31:15,761
Seems to be my lot in life.
Leaving to keep other people safe.
628
00:31:15,786 --> 00:31:17,714
Am I meant to feel sorry for you?
629
00:31:17,739 --> 00:31:18,456
No.
630
00:31:18,481 --> 00:31:20,159
I would never ask you that.
631
00:31:20,184 --> 00:31:23,219
But you do recognize
this, you recognize me,
632
00:31:23,244 --> 00:31:25,127
you recognize what I'm doing.
633
00:31:25,152 --> 00:31:29,206
Setting evil free and imperilling
your own family in the process?
634
00:31:29,231 --> 00:31:32,909
Now that I know what's happened
to Julian, I have to go find him.
635
00:31:32,934 --> 00:31:34,868
He's lost out there.
636
00:31:34,893 --> 00:31:37,828
He's outside the Ghost River Triangle.
637
00:31:38,098 --> 00:31:41,434
From the second
I walked into that barn...
638
00:31:41,459 --> 00:31:44,127
you knew I'd make you leave,
639
00:31:44,244 --> 00:31:46,026
you knew I'd help you.
640
00:31:46,051 --> 00:31:48,846
Sometimes it takes a monster.
641
00:31:49,130 --> 00:31:51,830
Wynonna will be angry.
642
00:31:52,558 --> 00:31:54,872
She's not gonna be angry with you.
643
00:31:54,897 --> 00:31:57,492
She always seems to forgive you.
644
00:31:57,517 --> 00:32:00,643
Still,
you may not escape her anger,
645
00:32:00,668 --> 00:32:04,893
for you are abandoning
your family for love.
646
00:32:04,918 --> 00:32:10,078
Oh. Like I'm gonna let
a vampire lecture me on love.
647
00:32:18,898 --> 00:32:23,070
Oh. [GASPING] Shit.
648
00:32:23,843 --> 00:32:27,086
Out already? Didn't even
have time to send flowers.
649
00:32:27,111 --> 00:32:29,564
It was just a fancy faint.
650
00:32:29,589 --> 00:32:31,977
Yeah, the cat made a bed
in your ass crack.
651
00:32:32,002 --> 00:32:35,273
The doctor said I'm fine.
I'm as healthy as an ox.
652
00:32:35,298 --> 00:32:37,227
- With the cankles to match.
- Listen.
653
00:32:37,252 --> 00:32:40,047
I am just here to tell Officer Haught
654
00:32:40,072 --> 00:32:42,367
that despite the day's events,
655
00:32:42,392 --> 00:32:45,429
she will not be getting my support.
656
00:32:46,386 --> 00:32:49,968
She saved your life,
you incorrigible bitch.
657
00:32:49,993 --> 00:32:51,539
Perhaps.
658
00:32:51,740 --> 00:32:54,929
But she does not belong
here in Purgatory.
659
00:32:54,954 --> 00:32:57,655
She is not our... people.
660
00:32:57,680 --> 00:33:00,421
Are you a xenophobe,
or a homophobe?
661
00:33:00,446 --> 00:33:02,070
Why pick just one?
662
00:33:02,095 --> 00:33:04,148
Even though it was against
her best interest,
663
00:33:04,173 --> 00:33:05,248
Nicole did the right thing.
664
00:33:05,273 --> 00:33:07,742
She always does the right
thing, no matter what.
665
00:33:07,767 --> 00:33:09,898
That's the kind of person
who should be sheriff.
666
00:33:09,922 --> 00:33:11,835
- I'll keep that in mind.
- No.
667
00:33:12,026 --> 00:33:13,473
Bunny...
668
00:33:13,498 --> 00:33:16,820
shouldn't we talk about
what really happened today?
669
00:33:17,245 --> 00:33:19,742
What's really got your
pearls all twisted?
670
00:33:19,767 --> 00:33:21,281
I don't know what you're talking about.
671
00:33:21,306 --> 00:33:23,024
What you saw.
672
00:33:23,505 --> 00:33:25,898
Because you saw something,
didn't you, Bun Bun?
673
00:33:25,923 --> 00:33:29,414
It was just a dream,
a terrible dream.
674
00:33:29,439 --> 00:33:31,679
Like the one where I'm
on the cruise ship
675
00:33:31,704 --> 00:33:34,883
with all the shirtless...
Portuguese sailors.
676
00:33:34,908 --> 00:33:37,710
Okay,
there's a lot to unpack there.
677
00:33:37,735 --> 00:33:40,637
But no... you weren't dreaming.
678
00:33:40,662 --> 00:33:43,062
See, you think you want
to know the things
679
00:33:43,087 --> 00:33:45,274
Nedley's been keeping secret.
680
00:33:45,299 --> 00:33:48,508
You don't. That monster you saw today,
681
00:33:48,533 --> 00:33:51,902
it's just... the tip of the iceberg.
682
00:33:52,124 --> 00:33:53,273
Iceberg?
683
00:33:53,298 --> 00:33:55,583
If you don't back Nicole
for sheriff,
684
00:33:55,608 --> 00:33:59,874
I am sending that monster and
all of his demon friends...
685
00:34:00,218 --> 00:34:01,956
to your house.
686
00:34:01,981 --> 00:34:05,164
You can't and you won't.
687
00:34:05,189 --> 00:34:08,091
Oh, bless your cold,
withered heart.
688
00:34:08,116 --> 00:34:10,925
You think it could handle
another "fancy faint"?
689
00:34:11,967 --> 00:34:16,097
Then Nicole Haught's gonna
be the next sheriff. Okay?
690
00:34:16,122 --> 00:34:17,599
Have a lovely day.
691
00:34:17,624 --> 00:34:19,525
I need to get to church.
692
00:34:19,550 --> 00:34:22,645
You gotta book yourself
that cruise.
693
00:34:28,411 --> 00:34:30,211
How long have you been listening?
694
00:34:30,236 --> 00:34:32,044
It would've been rude
to interrupt.
695
00:34:32,069 --> 00:34:35,300
- Naughty Haughty.
- How's your head? Because...
696
00:34:35,325 --> 00:34:37,614
I feel like I can hear space and time.
697
00:34:37,639 --> 00:34:41,164
[BOTH CHUCKLING] Hair of the dog?
698
00:34:42,039 --> 00:34:44,640
Officer Haught. At work?
699
00:34:44,665 --> 00:34:47,467
Well, some rules
are made to be broken.
700
00:34:47,672 --> 00:34:49,739
Huh. Maybe
you would be a good wife.
701
00:34:49,764 --> 00:34:53,130
Ah, thank you. But you're not my type.
You cheat at drinking games.
702
00:34:53,155 --> 00:34:55,309
- [LAUGHTER]
- Mm-hmm.
703
00:34:58,089 --> 00:34:59,456
Truce?
704
00:34:59,594 --> 00:35:01,729
More than a truce. A win.
705
00:35:02,140 --> 00:35:03,741
Hm.
706
00:35:06,003 --> 00:35:08,704
You know, I used to think
you were an outsider too.
707
00:35:08,729 --> 00:35:11,898
And that things would get
too demony and you would...
708
00:35:12,271 --> 00:35:14,950
go and leave my sister
with a broken heart.
709
00:35:14,975 --> 00:35:17,684
Wynonna, I love her.
710
00:35:17,709 --> 00:35:19,472
Ew.
711
00:35:19,497 --> 00:35:21,411
Also, you'd better.
712
00:35:23,307 --> 00:35:25,341
And I love you, too.
713
00:35:25,424 --> 00:35:27,216
I mean, I know it's terribly unfair
714
00:35:27,241 --> 00:35:29,718
and sometimes I really get... jealous,
715
00:35:29,743 --> 00:35:32,169
because you get to be...
716
00:35:33,020 --> 00:35:35,051
Get to be what?
717
00:35:35,946 --> 00:35:37,761
You.
718
00:35:40,156 --> 00:35:43,142
You know, you're staked
to this land, same as me.
719
00:35:43,167 --> 00:35:45,227
You never had a choice.
720
00:35:45,252 --> 00:35:47,188
What do you mean?
721
00:35:51,702 --> 00:35:53,848
It wasn't Black Badge
who saved you
722
00:35:53,873 --> 00:35:56,778
from the Cult of Bulshar
massacre, Nicole.
723
00:35:58,579 --> 00:36:01,243
It was an idealistic local cop.
724
00:36:06,228 --> 00:36:09,763
- [GRUNTING AND SIGHING]
- [KNOCKING]
725
00:36:10,444 --> 00:36:12,296
Oh...
726
00:36:13,201 --> 00:36:17,786
That little dance battle at the
vampire ball really did my back in.
727
00:36:24,630 --> 00:36:26,294
Ah...
728
00:36:32,696 --> 00:36:35,030
You were so damn scared.
729
00:36:37,071 --> 00:36:39,645
Still so damn tough.
730
00:36:40,213 --> 00:36:42,648
I found you downriver from the massacre.
731
00:36:42,673 --> 00:36:46,042
You'd gotten yourself into a
canoe, you got away, so...
732
00:36:47,448 --> 00:36:49,182
You're the one.
733
00:36:55,985 --> 00:36:58,575
Kept an eye on you afterwards.
734
00:36:59,170 --> 00:37:01,888
You know, those folks of yours...
735
00:37:02,582 --> 00:37:04,072
Who lets their
six-year-old daughter
736
00:37:04,097 --> 00:37:06,543
go to a music
festival in the woods?
737
00:37:06,631 --> 00:37:10,036
[SCOFFING] My parents were
never anything but selfish.
738
00:37:10,061 --> 00:37:11,762
If they could see you now.
739
00:37:11,787 --> 00:37:13,900
Uh... we don't talk.
740
00:37:14,354 --> 00:37:17,783
Why?
Because of... who you are?
741
00:37:17,808 --> 00:37:19,257
Yeah.
742
00:37:19,282 --> 00:37:20,849
A cop.
743
00:37:21,135 --> 00:37:23,986
When I found out you'd enrolled
in the police academy,
744
00:37:24,011 --> 00:37:26,160
I couldn't resist offering you this job.
745
00:37:26,185 --> 00:37:28,735
When I saw the posting,
I... I knew
746
00:37:28,760 --> 00:37:30,827
that this was where I had to serve.
747
00:37:34,058 --> 00:37:36,205
Everything good that I have in my life
748
00:37:36,230 --> 00:37:39,300
is because I came back to
the Ghost River Triangle.
749
00:37:44,447 --> 00:37:48,187
You're like a daughter...
to me.
750
00:38:06,407 --> 00:38:08,995
You're wrinkling the
crease in my khakis.
751
00:38:17,031 --> 00:38:18,937
Thank you.
752
00:38:20,878 --> 00:38:23,906
You are a tough act to follow.
753
00:38:23,931 --> 00:38:26,578
I'm not going anywhere.
754
00:38:27,905 --> 00:38:30,267
Not if you really need me.
755
00:38:30,602 --> 00:38:33,396
Congratulations, Sheriff Haught.
756
00:38:34,630 --> 00:38:36,791
You earned it.
757
00:38:39,934 --> 00:38:42,869
Fill a tub with tequila
and salt the rim.
758
00:38:43,432 --> 00:38:45,700
I have had a day.
759
00:38:47,940 --> 00:38:49,474
She's gone.
760
00:38:51,827 --> 00:38:54,124
Went to find Julian.
761
00:39:01,586 --> 00:39:07,013
But we just had Christmas
together and it was so nice.
762
00:39:07,208 --> 00:39:09,576
We could spend our whole lives
trying to figure out
763
00:39:09,601 --> 00:39:12,017
why she does what she does, baby girl.
764
00:39:12,351 --> 00:39:13,894
We already have.
765
00:39:15,105 --> 00:39:17,715
At least now she really is free.
766
00:39:17,740 --> 00:39:19,044
Must be nice.
767
00:39:19,069 --> 00:39:25,067
(DRAMATIC INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC)
768
00:39:27,984 --> 00:39:30,652
♪
769
00:39:33,216 --> 00:39:34,783
Good evening.
770
00:39:36,677 --> 00:39:39,011
I come bearing gifts.
771
00:39:39,324 --> 00:39:41,922
Well, gift.
772
00:39:47,803 --> 00:39:50,372
- This is...
- Bulshar's ring.
773
00:39:50,397 --> 00:39:52,832
It may protect you in
your upcoming battle.
774
00:39:53,448 --> 00:39:56,116
How did you get it?
Nicole had it.
775
00:39:56,141 --> 00:40:00,211
Well...
the details are a little foggy.
776
00:40:00,937 --> 00:40:03,439
I do like to day drink, as you know.
777
00:40:03,464 --> 00:40:04,898
Why don't you keep it?
778
00:40:06,828 --> 00:40:10,397
Anyone ever tell you not to
look a gift horse in the mouth?
779
00:40:10,832 --> 00:40:12,929
Did you spend the day
with my mother?
780
00:40:12,954 --> 00:40:15,414
She essentially treated
me as her Ober...
781
00:40:15,439 --> 00:40:16,998
Uber.
782
00:40:22,108 --> 00:40:24,976
What she told me
may require some explanation.
783
00:40:25,001 --> 00:40:26,632
She thought so, too.
784
00:40:28,407 --> 00:40:30,116
Lemme just read it to you.
785
00:40:30,904 --> 00:40:32,973
"Dear Wynonna,
786
00:40:33,628 --> 00:40:36,364
don't trust Doc Holliday.
787
00:40:37,843 --> 00:40:40,046
He's not what he says he is."
788
00:40:40,279 --> 00:40:43,172
Did she also say
she set Bobo free from the well?
789
00:40:43,197 --> 00:40:45,867
She does love to burn a place
down before she runs.
790
00:40:45,892 --> 00:40:47,758
The recklessness
of her actions -
791
00:40:47,783 --> 00:40:50,976
I do not see how she could
remain here and keep you safe.
792
00:40:51,001 --> 00:40:53,101
Just tell me what you did.
793
00:40:56,244 --> 00:40:57,778
Who are you?
794
00:40:58,546 --> 00:41:01,398
- Who I've always been.
- Don't talk to me in riddles.
795
00:41:01,423 --> 00:41:04,132
- How should I talk to you, then?
- Like you give a shit about me.
796
00:41:04,157 --> 00:41:06,289
You refused me.
797
00:41:09,151 --> 00:41:11,945
Wynonna, I do care...
798
00:41:12,826 --> 00:41:15,648
You are runnin' out of road, woman.
799
00:41:15,752 --> 00:41:17,684
Tell me what you are.
800
00:41:18,994 --> 00:41:22,414
[ROARING]
801
00:41:24,104 --> 00:41:26,375
Kate.
802
00:41:27,340 --> 00:41:30,489
You let her do this.
803
00:41:32,170 --> 00:41:34,326
She had you.
804
00:41:34,825 --> 00:41:36,796
It was the only way.
805
00:41:36,821 --> 00:41:39,366
What about us?
[SNIFFLING]
806
00:41:39,391 --> 00:41:41,695
What about Alice?
807
00:41:42,544 --> 00:41:44,390
What would our daughter say
808
00:41:44,415 --> 00:41:47,928
if she knew her father sold his soul?!
809
00:41:47,953 --> 00:41:51,695
You of all people should understand
the sacrifices that have been made.
810
00:41:51,720 --> 00:41:55,296
You wanted your immortality
that badly, selfish asshole?!
811
00:41:55,321 --> 00:41:57,539
You watch your mouth!!
812
00:41:58,694 --> 00:42:00,617
Bite me.
813
00:42:03,262 --> 00:42:05,461
There are some...
814
00:42:06,773 --> 00:42:08,373
advantages...
815
00:42:09,636 --> 00:42:11,659
to you being a vampire.
816
00:42:12,354 --> 00:42:14,155
John Henry Holliday,
817
00:42:14,434 --> 00:42:17,332
you're not welcome in my home anymore.
818
00:42:17,357 --> 00:42:18,629
Don't you do this.
819
00:42:18,654 --> 00:42:21,332
No, you did this.
820
00:42:21,357 --> 00:42:23,535
Not me.
821
00:42:28,012 --> 00:42:34,183
- Synced and corrected by martythecrazy -
- www.addic7ed.com -
61466
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Czech
Danish
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
