Original subtitles

(dramatic music)

- [James Voiceover] But, yes, this is the voicemail

you said no one has ever left you.

Three minutes of everything about someone

you've just met.

Enough to know whether or not it's worth it.

Tara Reata.

(camera clicks)

You know that's about the most beautiful name

I've ever heard, even if it is fake.

You're absolved.

Vivien Leigh in Gone with the Wind meets

Liz Taylor in Giant, right.

Two great ranchers, Tara and Reata.

Maybe you're more of a fantasist than I realised.

So let a few dates in.

I need you to know exactly where we are with that.

Tom, he's worked in my office for three years.

But I honestly had no idea he was in love with you.

I have an insipid trophy wife, Lisa.

We married on a whim when she saw the money.

(camera clicks)

Biggest mistake of my life.

I know I'm not 24 anymore, but

she's got claws so far in my back,

I'm surprised I haven't actually bled to death.

Only she can tell you if we're together or separated,

which is why I've called you now,

which is why I'm telling you now.

I'm ready for divorce.

I know it's gonna cost me,

but I think my sanity is a small price to pay.

We have a daughter, Charlotte,

who I barely see.

She might be part of my equation in the future.

I don't know.

We have a nanny slash hired mother,

who does her best to side with Lisa,

and she has sisters who come and go with conflicting advice.

Vicky, her eldest sister, is potentially more compassionate.

(camera clicks)

Jan is the more troubled of the two.

But I'll give you my horrible confession

because I can only be honest now.

(camera clicks)

I met Jan first.

She introduced me to her sister, Lisa.

And as a man with no soul left,

I chose vanity.

But Jan has too much dignity

to ever raise this as an issue.

And our mutual friend is Tom.

(camera clicks)

My wife was the girl who ruined his life

without thought of consequence.

I don't know whether he told you that or not.

I know what he does.

I know Jules, his assistant. (camera clicks)

I know Becky (camera clicks)

and all the other models on his list.

You see, Tom thinks we have no idea

about his other profession.

But there is something very rotten in this Denmark.

So, Tara,

that's my life.

Let's take it slow

because I reckon we might have something in a

semi-something background.

Take care.

(camera clicks)

James.

- I love you, baby.

I love you so much.

Don't leave me now.

♪ Ah ♪

♪ Ah ♪

♪ I'm lost ♪

♪ Lost in the shadows ♪

♪ Walking the tired avenue of suspense ♪

♪ Walking the tired avenue of suspense ♪

(mysterious music)

♪ Ah ♪

♪ Ah ♪

♪ I'm lost ♪

♪ Lost in the shadows ♪

♪ Walking the tired avenue of suspense ♪

(people chatter)

- Yeah.

Yeah.

- [Tom] The other one says (mumbles).

- Right.

- [Tom] Now you know the score.

I'd like to put you up front if that's all right with you.

- Yeah, that's good.

I'm ready, Tom.

It's like half my event.

- All right, um,

Jules have we got the paperwork for that?

- Yeah, I've got it all sorted.

(tranquil piano music)

♪ I am the monster in your head ♪

♪ The monster in your mind ♪

♪ He is ever so unkind ♪

♪ The monster in your head ♪

♪ The beast you feel once you've read their head ♪

♪ The only weapon in your mind ♪

♪ Is the feeling you can't break ♪

♪ The make which you can't decide ♪

♪ The monster all the same ♪

♪ The demon in your mind ♪

(camera clicks)

(tranquil piano music)

(birds chirping)

- [Jules] She was really good, I think.

- Yeah, she's looking good.

I've gotta get this one.

- Want me to come back?

- When?

- Tomorrow.

- I'm on a shoot tomorrow.

- You can shoot me.

- [Tom] No.

We've done that.

- Please, I want to be able to make things up to you.

- [Tom] How?

- Whatever it takes.

- [Tom] I'm not sure what it would take.

- So what are you doing now?

- [Tom] Now?

- No, I mean in the day.

- [Tom] I'm working.

- What are you doing?

- More photography.

- For who?

- An agency.

- What are you taking photos of?

- Largely clothed women, the same.

- Naked?

- [Tom] Sometimes they get naked.

You know this.

- How naked?

- To be honest with you,

I think they probably just think I'm a bit of a prude.

- That's what really what you want to do though, is it?

It's just what gets you off.

- [Tom] It does depress me sometimes.

But then...

- What?

- [Tom] I meet someone like you

and I realise that the pictures are just that.

Pictures.

This girl this morning.

She was pretty, perfectly formed,

nice body,

an angel face.

But you know what?

I didn't want her.

I didn't love her.

(camera clicks)

(ominous music)

I could see that the pictures of her

would be someone's fantasy.

(camera clicks)

Not mine.

Some other guys.

- Am I still your fantasy?

- [Tom] I create fantasy.

You know the answer to that.

- Whatever happened to my pictures?

- [Tom] They're in the same place.

I've not looked at 'em since I took them.

- You didn't see them?

- [Tom] No, that was my possessive streak.

- Do you still want me?

- Look, can you cope with me taking photos?

I mean, it's a serious question.

It's a bit of a deal breaker.

- Do you fancy the girls?

Do you want them?

- No, not really.

- Not really isn't no.

- [Tom] For god's sake, I can separate work from play.

- Please.

Let me come back.

Just so we can see.

- Where are you now?

- My parents' house.

- Are you gonna come over?

- Why?

- Well, that's what you usually do when I'm working.

- So, I can sleep.

We can talk in the morning.

(ominous music)

I love you.

- Yeah.

I love you, too.

- Are you being fucking serious?

- [Tom] Look, I'm on a shoot this afternoon.

- Can I come?

- [Tom] No.

I'm sorry, you're not in the shoot.

Jules is the assistant, you know that.

- I like Jules.

- [Tom] Yeah, I like Jules, too.

- Have you ever fucked Jules?

- [Tom] Don't start.

- Why not?

- Because we both know you've got your own problems.

(birds chirping)

(ominous music)

- [James] The wedding is next month.

You are invited.

We would both appreciate seeing you there.

- A word of advice, James.

If you can live with men in deceit,

you'll have a happy marriage.

If you can't, then don't marry a liar.

(camera clicks)

That's all.

- [James] I never realised

you had such a high opinion of Lisa.

But I take your advice.

I'll see myself out.

(door clatters)

(ominous music)

(birds chirp)

- Do you think I'm luckY?

- Lucky?

How are we lucky?

I mean, I've worked for everything, haven't I?

- Have you?

- Come on, Lisa, what's wrong?

I mean, you're not with your sisters at the moment.

But, the new house, is it too much?

- No.

It's perfect.

It just seems so extravagant after what we last had.

- Yeah, but wouldn't your dad like to see you now?

- Yeah, well, my dad's not here to see it anymore, James.

- He's still around in spirit.

- It's just difficult, you know.

- You've got family, Lisa.

We've got great times ahead of us.

- Yeah, I know.

I just feel so guilty.

I've got everything but nothing.

(glass bangs)

- We don't have nothing, Lisa.

Are you keeping up with that prescription?

- No, I can't.

It's just making me feel even worse.

- Come on, you need to take taking them

if you want them to work.

Hey, look, how's Maria getting on with Charlotte?

- We wouldn't even be living if she didn't look

after her so well.

She's more of a mother than I am.

- Yeah, but, Lisa, you're her mother.

Come on.

Don't beat yourself up over this.

I mean, we have been through so much in the past year.

- That's why I'm saying, aren't we lucky.

We've got all of this.

All of these material things and at what price?

- Your dad's gone, Lisa.

I'm sorry.

I don't know what I can do about it.

- He's always been gone.

- We go over this every night.

- It's just so difficult.

And you know why it's so difficult for me.

- What?

I mean, what is so difficult?

- You.

You look like him.

You dress like him, and you act like him.

- I can't help that.

- I know.

I know you can't.

I just, it's so difficult.

I just, I look across the room,

and I don't know whether I'm looking at my husband

or my dad anymore.

- I listen.

I listen.

And I listen.

And then I realise,

I just can't help you unless you're prepared to let go

and tell me.

- Tell you what?

- You've got to tell me what happened to him.

I mean, the whole thing with your dad is just an excuse.

Or at least it's become one.

- What do you want to hear, James?

That daddy had me, is that what you think?

- Maybe.

I don't know.

I honestly don't know.

- Well, daddy didn't have me, James.

Sorry to disappoint you if that idea got you off.

- Stop it, Lisa.

I think you're drunk.

- All right.

I'll tell you.

Do you remember Tom?

- Tom?

Yeah.

Used to be in IT,

moved to another department.

A photographer now, I think.

Where are you going with this, Lisa?

I mean, (laughs)

have you had an affair?

Is that what this is?

Is that what this has all been about?

- At the Christmas party, Tom came up to me

and he said,

he said.

I was with this girl.

And nothing happened, but we were really close friends.

And then we had this five minute conversation

that destroyed my life.

- All right, I get it.

And it was you he had the five minute conversation with?

- Yeah, but the five minute conversation didn't happen then.

- When did it happen then?

- A few years ago when I was 16.

- And what else did he say?

- Not a day goes by when I don't think

about what I said.

- So what was this stupid conversation

a few years ago about?

- Not much.

He just said if he was to look after me,

it's because I needed looking after.

Because he thought

that my mom didn't treat me right.

- So he liked you.

So what?

- Something else happened a week before then.

It wasn't much, but I felt so stupid

for letting it happen.

I got drunk, and I got taken advantage of.

- I thought we talked about everything we had to tell

each other about our private lives.

- Yeah, well, some things have to remain private.

- So you're telling me this one bad.

- Look, it was a bad first time, okay?

- And this bad first time was with Tom, right?

- No.

This prick wasn't Tom.

It was somebody else.

I can't remember his name.

- So, come on, tell me.

What has all this got to do with Tom?

- I destroyed his life.

- Do you remember that film we watched the other night?

- I don't see the films you see.

- There always on in the background.

- But I'm not obsessed like you.

- Who says I'm obsessed?

You do.

How does that work?

- You know you are.

- Is it really that bad?

- No, it's not that bad.

- Is it good then?

- No, it's not that good, either.

- Why is there always a barrier between us?

- Because I don't hero worship the people you do.

- Who expects you to?

- You do.

Every time you say something, all it is with you is

did you see this?

Did you see that?

Do you remember this?

I didn't.

Period.

Things are strained enough as they are already

without you stretching things even further.

- I'm trying to live here.

What?

What are you talking about?

- It's been four months already.

- And, and what?

- What?

- Do you think I'm not thinking about it?

You think I'm not thinking about our little?

Look, I can't do this right now.

I've been out of the loop for a reason.

- Maybe I am, too.

- Why are we arguing?

- Because everything around here is dead or dying.

You get me involved with you

and drag me through all this shit for what?

I should be with my friends finishing one part

of my life and beginning the next.

I could even finish my education if I want.

But no, I hook myself up with you.

For what?

This tragedy and torment.

You just sit there and watch the films.

That's where you live.

Movie land.

And where do I fit in for you?

I don't.

Is that whole truth or what?

You love me so much

that you think that by forgetting me

I'm going to forget about what has happened to us.

But I'm not

because I need you to help me.

I need you to be here with me.

And to do that, you have to invest your emotions in me.

- I don't think I'm ready for this.

- Then how do you think I feel?

I need to move on so badly from this,

but I just don't think I can.

- Then don't.

- I've got to.

I can't let this kill me.

- Let it kill me then.

- No, it has already.

We have to find something that's going to help us.

- We should never have got involved.

- I don't care.

We are involved, and we have to find something

that is going to make this better.

That is going to help us.

- Maybe we should start from scratch then.

- How do you mean?

- Relive everything that we've done

up until four months ago.

- And how can we do that?

- I've been doing that every day in my head.

Every time I'm watching those films,

I'm not actually watching those films.

I'm watching our life in exact, minute detail,

and I see the happiness in your face

turn to despair.

My legs give way, but I know what's just happened.

I hate that movie in my head.

I wish I could erase it, but I can't.

- Well,

make a film about me then.

- I can't.

- You always said you would.

- I can't.

- Why not?

- Because I don't have the drive anymore.

I can't even get out of bed any more.

You know that.

- Well, then how do you think I feel?

Do you not think I feel like that a little bit, too?

Look at me.

I can't live with myself, and I'm asking you

to help me and help us.

Look, you've got that stupid little video camera.

Why don't you use it?

And we can use it to--

- I bought that video camera for a reason.

- I know.

I know, to make a film.

But that changed.

It was going to be a film about someone entering this world,

and it was going to be beautiful.

But, as much as it hurts me to say this,

that is never going to happen.

- Why didn't we even name her?

- I couldn't.

- I had a list and everything.

- Okay, you had a list.

What would you have named her?

- Tara.

- I don't like Tara.

- Tara's important to me.

- I know because you made it important to you.

- Fine.

What would you have named her then?

- I don't know.

- [James] Hi, Jan.

This is James.

- Hi James.

So what's wrong with little fruitcake this time?

- [James] Depressed, suicidal.

Usual problems for a 19 year old girl

who's lost her dad and was neglected by her mother

for most of her life.

- Fly away, James.

We've all got problems.

- [James] Lisa is ill,

but she's making herself worse

because she won't face up to her issues.

Yourself, included.

Oh, I don't know exactly what she blames you for.

Daddy, possible.

But you don't stop upsetting her

whether she hears from you or not.

- Mothers and daughters, James.

Not fathers and sons.

- [James] Look, we're not going to let this descend

into an argument.

- Try me.

- [James] I want to come over for dinner on Sunday.

- Can't.

- [James] No, I can.

But Sunday was always supposed to be family day.

(laughs)

- Been playing detective, have we?

Lisa would never call it that.

- [James] I don't care.

But, all right, I just want a civilised meal.

Can we manage that?

- How is Lisa then?

- [James] Your sister hates me

as much as you probably do at the moment.

- My god.

Little girl must be ill.

Replacement daddy must have really pissed her off.

- [James] So you think I really am

that much like her father?

- Unfortunately, you are.

- [James] All right, tell me.

What went wrong?

- Mom never really did like him that much.

He was too devoted to his job and not to me.

But that's on me, isn't it?

First kid at 16, last at 32.

Look at me.

I lived my life.

I never wanted children, now I've got three.

Me and my mom and Vicky, we forced our dad to walk away.

Lisa was what, 10, when that happened.

Her dad was there everyday of her life,

not a day apart ever.

And then he was gone.

And now he really is dead.

He won't be coming home.

The whole time that he was alive,

she had that hope.

You can't replace that feeling of hope

by looking like him and being like him.

That's why Lisa's ill, James.

Her dad's gone and her sisters know

she was daddy's fucking girl.

There.

That's the most sincere conversation I've ever had with you.

- [James] Well, Jan, I appreciate your honesty.

- Sunday then.

- [James] See you on Sunday.

(phone clicks)

♪ Feeling that I'm walking ♪

♪ Knowing that you're talking ♪

♪ Knowing that you're talking about me ♪

(rock music)

♪ Down in the depths of ♪

♪ Down in the depths of ♪

♪ Down in the depths of sea ♪

♪ Still in my pockets ♪

♪ Water on my face ♪

♪ Wave down later ♪

(birds chirp

- Hey, babe.

You're right.

I'm not entirely sure what you want me to say here.

I supposed we could, um,

start from the beginning.

I've been drinking.

I've been drinking a lot.

Smoking, too, and I guess that's to do with the drinking.

Don't feel like I'm 30.

I feel like I'm 10 years old and I'm peddling home

like a nutcase on my tiny little BMX

because some bigger kid swatted me.

I'm scared.

I've no idea what I'm scared of.

I don't want to go out in the big, wide world.

Why?

I just don't have the ability to do it.

I can't cope.

(rock music)

(car rumbles)

- [James] How are you then?

- [Lisa] Not as low.

- [James] Are you on top then?

- I think so.

Maria and I took Charlotte out.

Maria showed us some of the little things

that she likes that I just can't do.

You know, the lovely things.

- [James] Are you happier with your daughter now?

- No.

- [James] Why not?

- She looks like me.

It's like having a miniature me running around everywhere.

- [James] Doesn't she have any of me in her?

- She shits and pukes.

Is that enough?

- [James] Is that a joke?

- Sort of.

I just look at the baby,

and, no, I don't see you in her

because I'm so wrapped up in seeing me in her.

I just think, what's gonna happen when she grows up,

and one day, she can't find daddy in the house?

That's why I don't see you in her.

That's just the way it is, James.

- We're gonna have a proper lunch on Sunday

at your sister's here.

- [Lisa] What's proper?

- [James] I've got a friend coming over.

- [Lisa] Who else is coming?

- [James] Tom.

- Say again?

- [James] Tom.

You know, my campaign photographer.

- Yeah, I know who he is.

Do you?

- [James] Yeah.

I think he's someone you need to meet up with again.

I mean, he's pretty sincere about things.

You know, you really pushed his life

in a different direction.

- Are you happy now you found out

a little bit extra about me?

- [James] That's why he's coming over on Sunday.

- [Lisa] I can't have you around here like this.

- [James] Can I see my daughter first?

- [Lisa] No.

She doesn't want to see you.

♪ Love is a battlefield ♪

♪ A battle which'll never heal ♪

♪ And I just gotta fight ♪

♪ Until the day I find my boy is killed ♪

♪ I tell my war stories about how I got my battle scars ♪

♪ Due to being a fool ♪

♪ And thinking it was written in the stars ♪

♪ Time has made me smart ♪

♪ And now it's all about strategy ♪

♪ Look for my moments to believe in it was meant to be ♪

♪ Everybody's stands alone ♪

♪ It's cut throat in this great unknown ♪

♪ You must possessed the weapons ♪

♪ Just to make it on your own ♪

♪ People manipulate, they play by heart strings ♪

♪ And then you're left blinded ♪

♪ By the happiness that they bring ♪

♪ Little do you know the one you love ♪

♪ Has got a hidden agenda ♪

♪ Just to show you the girl's a pretender ♪

♪ They say the things you wanna hear ♪

♪ Whisper them up in your ear ♪

♪ And then your world is shattered ♪

♪ When you find that they just don't care ♪

♪ Soldier on is what they say ♪

♪ You live to fight another day ♪

♪ Every time they say it ♪

♪ You think they have never felt this way ♪

♪ Feelings just don't come ♪

- I love you, baby.

I love you so much.

Don't leave me now.

♪ You're made to climb up by the top ♪

♪ And fight until the battle love ♪

♪ And there ain't no time to be asking why ♪

(guitar music)

♪ It's a lonely road ♪

♪ Guess I'm walking it solo ♪

♪ It's a lonely road ♪

♪ And it's taking its toll on me ♪

(ominous music)

(silverware clatters)

- Where do you know this Tom from then, James?

He works for you, I assume.

- I think you met him before.

You see, I'm his boss.

But he used to be friends with Lisa here.

Well, that was until she made an allegation against him.

But I think they've sorted things out now.

Right, Lisa?

- You were at school then, weren't you, Lisa?

I remember him.

I went along with Lisa to keep her quiet.

- You know, I can believe that now.

- It was only four years ago, James.

You make it sound like she's done something similar to you.

- Time heals, apparently.

- It that what you think, James?

- Yes.

Yes, I do.

Tom obviously can't make it.

So, let's drink to the future.

- The past is the past.

To the future.

- The future.

- I'm leaving you, James.

I want a divorce because I hate you.

- I want your heart on a chopping block

because you are deliberately making a scene, dear.

We all know you're ill.

- I'm not ill, James.

I just realised that I hate you.

- And I hate you, too.

I mean, come on.

What have you ever actually done for me?

- You got to work all hours

and just leave me by myself.

- Jan, have you seen my baby?

It's the ugliest thing you've ever seen.

She makes me sick every time I look at her.

I hate it.

- Lisa, get a grip.

You just don't know the problem.

- What problem?

He is the problem.

- No, the problem is that you can't keep your legs shut.

- Jan, how dare you?

- No, no.

You and I might not have had the best relationship,

but I'm not stupid.

Your husband might be, but your boyfriend certainly isn't.

- James, go into the other room.

Now.

I want to talk to my sister.

- Do you want me to tell you the truth?

Or do you think you can mutter it?

Do you want to know why you're hurting so much?

Why you're so low?

Why you can't appreciate this?

- I don't know who her dad is.

- Yes, you do.

- I don't know what to do.

- Divorce, dear, and custody will follow.

- How did I manage to ruin it?

- You haven't ruined it yet.

You've upset a lot of people,

but you haven't ruined it.

James, come in here, will yoU?

Lisa, Charlotte, and I will be staying

at my house for a few weeks.

She needs to see a few people at least.

- Is this what you really want, Lisa?

- I don't love you.

I haven't loved you for so long.

I'm sorry, this just isn't a life for me.

(door clicks)

(guitar music)

(footsteps approach)

- They didn't really say much.

- Can I watch it?

- No, not while I'm here.

- Do you want to watch mine?

- No.

- Why not?

- I don't know.

You're absolutely beautiful.

You're absolutely amazing.

- You can fuck me then, can't you?

- Is this what you did when you divorced dad?

- I didn't divorce your dad, Lisa.

Our mother did.

Except when he walked away from us,

he was more than happy to keep his attention on you.

- Did you make his life that bad?

- I can't tell you that.

- You destroyed him, didn't you?

- Not before he destroyed me.

- Why didn't you just tell me that a few years ago?

- You couldn't listen.

Do you remember when you were at school,

you accused that man of nothing?

- It wasn't nothing.

- It was nothing, it was pathetic.

You can never fool me, Lisa.

You can deceive everybody else,

but you were never a very good liar.

- You neglected me for so long.

- Yes, I did.

Our father made you into this little brat.

You had everything when you wanted it.

You swallowed through life as if it was just you.

When dad came around to visit, he was interested in you.

Not me or Vicky, not your sisters.

He wasn't even interested in being civil to mom.

He was just interested in you, little baby Lisa.

His darling.

That's why you've picked these men who indulge you.

That's all dad did, indulge you.

Did he indulge me?

No.

Did he indulge Vicky?

No.

He ignored us.

I ignored him because we went through the divorce as adults.

We weren't the family.

We were individuals.

And you were just a little girl

wondering why your daddy wasn't there anymore.

We knew why daddy wasn't there anymore.

We'd all driven him away

because the only person who was important to him was you.

There.

Jealousy from your mother and your sisters.

- So that gave you the right to ignore me every weekend?

- We left you to your own devices

because that's all you would do.

If ever there was a feral child, it was you, my dear.

- Feral?

What was I, some kind of animal?

- Yes, you were sometimes.

Do you not remember me picking up this lifeless wreck

from the remains of 100 consecutive house party?

Do you not remember the ambulances

and the days in hospital having your stomach pumped?

Think about your life, Lisa.

You tried to kill yourself inconspicuously

because you didn't want to have to admit

that you actually had some problems.

Yeah, mother dear may have caused them,

but you exaggerated them.

Look at you.

You had everything, and you're throwing it away

because you're a selfish bitch

loathing in self pity,

wanting to blame everyone except herself.

There.

Now that's a heart to heart for you.

You're 19 with the experiences of someone 10 years older

and I'm telling you to grow up

and take on some responsibility.

Or else you'll be dead in the gutter like you were

when you were 16.

You blame your life on stupid men

who've been fool enough to look after you,

but I feel sorry for all of them

because you've cheated all of them.

Now don't cry wolf to me or anyone else

when you realise you've got real problems up there.

- Is that all?

- That is the first time

I've ever been truly frank with you.

We're apart because we can tear each other apart.

But now's the moment to think about your future.

- What?

Are you saying that I should just go back to James?

- No.

I'm saying the reason you're in this state

is because you've never taken control of your life.

You're acting like a 13 year old.

For the sake of James,

for the sake of Luke, be an adult.

Don't be the little girl they've made you think you are.

- Who's going to get custody of Charlotte?

- That's the lawyer's problem.

Does Luke know?

- I don't even know.

- Then leave the next move to them.

Lisa, we've talked through all of this.

These are your decisions now, not mine.

- Hello?

- [James] Tom, it's James, your boss.

Look, I don't really know you,

but I feel I probably should.

I mean, I feel you know more about my wife, Lisa,

than I actually do.

And you haven't spoken a word to that girl in years, right?

Anyway, I pulled your file out earlier.

Surprised me.

What are you doing in this job, Tom?

I mean, when it comes to politics, Christ.

You've got more qualifications than me.

- I don't know politics.

- [James] Ah, but you know you do really.

You're not a monkey campaign photographer.

To me, you're more like an office mole.

- Maybe I'm just in it to keep sane.

- [James] Why?

What else do you do?

- It's a light paw.

- [James] What do you mean?

- Well, I meant it when I said photographer.

- [James] So what have you been doing here

for the past three years?

- Trying to get legitimate.

- [James] Trying to be legitimate, eh?

It doesn't work, does it?

- Not really.

Not when there's the internet.

- [James] Well, listen carefully.

My wife now wants to divorce me.

- Yeah.

I hate your wife probably as much as you do right now.

So, I suppose I could be your office mole.

- [James] How?

- You know, Luke, lover boy who brings us

all the shit coffee?

- [James] Yeah, I know that idiot

who we still haven't promoted beyond office junior.

- That's the one.

- [James] I know him.

- That's Lisa's boyfriend.

- [James] For real?

Oh, you're kidding me.

- I'm afraid so.

- [James] Well, thank you for the heads up.

You know, we might actually have to have a beer

after all this.

- Yeah.

I'll clear my diary.

- [James] Yeah, I'll see you around.

- See you at work sometime.

- Hey, who was that?

- Oh, it was James from the campaign headquarters.

(ominous music)

(silverware clatters)

(camera clicks)

- Oh, Jesus Christ.

Will you get over it?

We used to do this all the time

before I got pregnant.

You've got whole books

of lover boy tapes somewhere, I'm sure.

That was our thing.

I wanted to do it, and I wanted you to do it

because it turned me on.

And now I leave that stupid machine recording

for five minutes while you're sober enough

to decide whether you want me to use me or not

and it's the worst thing in the world.

That is what is wrong with you.

You're a hypocrite.

You're an absolute hypocrite.

(ominous music)

So how do you want me then, huh?

You want to fuck me?

Or do you want to be selfish?

I'll do whatever you want.

That's all it is with you, isn't it?

Emotion, guilt, blackmail.

Getting so intense.

Getting jealous that I might speak to someone

that you don't like.

Being myself.

Look, what is this all about?

It's not like we haven't done all this before.

- Trust.

Everything that we've been doing here

is about building the trust that we used to have.

- We can still do that.

Look, this is just one little thing.

It's not gonna ruin.

I mean, what did you think I was gonna do?

Sell the tape?

- You might as well have been spying on me.

- Oh, Jesus Christ.

Will you get over it?

It's just an excuse, your whole trust argument.

You're embarrassed because it's the first time

we've been so much as next to each other.

- I'm not embarrassed.

- [Tara] Then what are you?

- I'm obviously not what you're looking for anymore.

- [Tara] Don't be stupid.

- Well, we don't want to be with each other.

We don't want to have sex.

We don't want to do nothing.

The only thing keeping us together is Tara.

- We never named the baby Tara.

- Well, now that dead little baby Tara

who you never let me see, touch, or be near

because you cleverly manipulated the situation

is gonna be called Tara.

Tara Reata.

- Tara Reata?

You bastard.

You want to name our daughter after some stupid bit

in your stupid favourite film?

How do you think I feel?

Am I not just a little bit helpless, too?

- You're not helpless.

You're a manipulator.

- Fuck off.

- The truth hurts, does it?

All right, maybe I'm just a jealous,

easily embarrassed, prudish, paranoid guy.

But I'm like that for a reason.

- [Tara] How can you blame me for what happened to our baby?

- Because you didn't want her.

You wanted the life that you have now,

and you just let her go.

And do you remember that one time

that we actually did have something?

And I said to you, you can do whatever you want.

Do whatever you want as long as I don't know about it.

And what was that one thing I told you not to do.

There.

That's betrayal.

- Oh.

So reaching ahead now, is it?

- Yeah, babe.

You've finally opened your eyes.

- Maybe I have.

Well, your baby isn't dead.

Our baby isn't dead.

Your baby isn't dead.

Our baby isn't dead.

Your baby isn't dead.

("Amazing Grace")

- [Lisa] Do you want to read it?

(paper shuffles)

- Well,

now's a good time to remember who you slept with

if you want a paternity test.

- If he wants a what?

- If he wants to know if he's the real dad,

then he'll have a test done.

- What if he isn't?

- Wave goodbye to everything you have.

- Well, what if he is?

- Nice, quickie divorce, I guess.

- It says here that he wants access rights

over Charlotte's as well.

This is ridiculous.

Why doesn't he just talk to me about it?

We can sort something out.

Why is he being so heavy handed?

- He's not, Lisa.

He's just respecting the situation

and going through the formalities.

When's the hearing?

- Dunno.

It just says that the application was made

on the 11th of May.

- Well, it'll be about November then.

- I can't do this.

- Lisa, be honest.

Who's the father?

- What do you think?

- It's Luke, isn't it?

- Do sisters always talk about sex?

- Yeah.

Not you and me, though.

- You know, there was only one time

that actually had something with James.

It was before Charlotte.

Just, I thought that there was nothing

that would keep us going.

But, we went to bed, and he just took me slowly.

But we were so, so close for those few minutes.

I thought it would last forever.

But it didn't.

It just ruined it.

He ruined the moment.

And I don't think we've ever been able

to get that back since.

- But you've got that bloke.

Can he support you, though?

- I don't care if he can or can't.

I just need that emotional support.

And he has that at least.

- You'd better agree to a test if they want one.

- Do you think I'm doing the right thing?

Yes, no?

Tell me.

- Lisa, you're gonna have to work that out for yourself.

Spend some time with your daughter.

- I think now's good time for us to be straight

with each other, don't you think?

- I've always been straight with you.

It was fun while it lasted.

You had me like a dog, got me pregnant,

convinced me to have the baby.

But I didn't want it.

How deep does that cut?

I bet that cuts real deep.

I didn't want it because with you as her father,

she would've turned into a little dog,

a little miniature me.

Adored on and doted on, and where would I be?

Ignored.

I'd become the baby factory fucked every nine months

to shit out your little bastards every other year.

Whilst Tara Reata heads your brood

and you live through her.

That's your dream, isn't it?

- Thanks.

Thanks for telling me.

So I know now that you didn't have a stillbirth.

Is that how you convinced then nurse?

Father didn't want nothing to do with it.

Just fucked off.

I said you were a manipulator.

- It's all crashing down now, isn't it?

The facade of our relationship has just shattered.

- And you were gonna live with this secret?

- No.

I was going to dump you first.

That's why I came back.

- I could kill you, I honestly could.

- But you won't.

- Why not?

- Because I still have the vital threads of information.

I gave birth to a healthy baby, Vivien,

on June the 18th, 2017.

I cuddled her in my arms, named her,

and they took her away.

- Why'd they take her away?

- I put her up for adoption.

- Is she adopted yet?

- I don't care.

- Did you not want her?

- No, I hated the sight of her.

What I could see in her was you and me,

what never has been and what never will be.

- Vivien.

No second name?

Whose last name did she take?

Mine or yours?

- She's just Vivien Reata.

- Why Vivien?

- Because I never knew

why Tara meant so fucking much to you.

I know it's my name, but I'm not the Tara

that's important to you, am I?

- Is that all you could think of?

Not the fact that you'd just given our baby away?

Did that just slip your mind?

Oh, my boyfriend, he wants to name the baby

after his girlfriend and I have no idea why.

Oh, well, just fucking give it up.

How could you do that?

- I wasn't thinking.

- You were thinking.

And then you disappeared for a month.

How do you think I felt?

I didn't know what was going on.

All I knew, you were at your parents.

Were you?

- Yes, yes I was at my parents.

- I don't even know what to think any more.

When did you come back?

- A few months ago.

- What time is it now?

- About 11 in the morning.

- And what, what has all of this been?

Has it been a reconciliation?

Has it been what you expected?

- I was expecting a continuation.

- Oh, so you have motives then.

- What are you talking about?

- Let's be straight with each other.

Motives, we both have them.

I thought, I thought you were coming back to be with me.

But now I know we just want something different.

Tara, I'm not here to be with you.

I'm here to conclude my life with you.

- But you won't do that because you love me too much.

- Yeah, I love you enough to know

that this is not gonna work.

This is not gonna happen.

Last night I loved you and I adored you

and I felt things I never felt before,

but not it's just been stripped away.

- Stop it.

Stop, stop it, you bastard.

You're just doing this to hurt me

even more than you need to.

- Don't you think you deserve to be hurt?

I respected everything you said because I trusted you.

You don't understand trust.

You don't understand anything.

- What don't I understand?

I understand you enough to understand

that I didn't want to be suffocated anymore.

- Don't we breath as well?

And all you ever did was ask to be suffocated.

- [Tara] How did I?

- You never took responsibility for anything

that required an ounce of independent thought.

- Well, it's really coming out now, isn't it?

Well, what do you want?

Me to start listing your faults?

Oh, no, wait.

I've done that already.

- We're gonna be funny, are we?

Cuss at each other.

Well, it's not gonna work.

- Okay, just stop.

What do you want?

It's time to make a decision

because I just can't hear you anymore.

- [Tom] I wanted you.

I wanted our baby.

I wanted the life that we should have had,

but it's,

it's not gonna happen.

There's no hope for us.

Not now, not ever.

- Then what are we gonna do?

- [Tom] I'm going to go back to work.

You may not agree with it.

It may make you jealous, but it pays the bills.

And, you know, something may come from it.

- And what are we going to do?

- Live on the sex.

Okay, okay, I'll call up Jules.

You can come on the new shoot.

(ominous music)

- [Vicky] It's time to make some decisions, Lisa.

- I don't think I can go on with Luke anymore.

Not at the moment.

Not with him.

- Well, it's time you should know then.

He resigned from James's company and office a few days ago.

- What?

Why did he resign?

- Well, let's just say he was pushed a bit.

- This is so difficult.

- What's changed?

Why the sudden change of heart?

- I had in my head that Luke was the father.

- [Vicky] And he's not.

- Yeah, it's a problem.

- James.

James is the father.

Do you love James?

- [Lisa] Yeah.

- You want to get back with him, don't you?

- Yes and no.

- What about Luke?

- For the first time in my life,

I'm going to make my own decisions on something.

- For god's sake, kill the man with a little grace.

I don't know what to say.

I leave you for one day.

- [Lisa] You leave me for one day.

- I leave you for one day.

- You leave me for one day?

You can't say that.

Do you remember when you left me for four weeks with Jan

to go to Australia?

Who's gonna talk to me then?

No one.

No one except maybe Luke.

And the school for giving me free meal tokens.

And they phoned social services about mom,

but they couldn't do anything because I was 16.

Everything that happened then has made me

who I am now, and I hate it.

I hate myself.

I loathe myself.

(cries)

Well, aren't you gonna react to me?

- What am I supposed to do?

It's over with Luke.

There's nothing left to say, is there?

If that's what you want.

To get back with James?

- No, I've just realised something.

The reason why I'm like this is

because I like being that stupid little girl

who gets told what to do.

I like being indulged

because that's all I've ever known.

("Amazing Grace")

♪ Amazing grace, how sweet the sound ♪

♪ That saved a wretch like me ♪

♪ I once was lost ♪

♪ But now I'm found ♪

(camera clicks)

♪ Was blind but now I see ♪

♪ 'Twas grace that taught my heart to fear ♪

(camera clicks)

♪ And grace my fears relieved ♪

♪ How precious did ♪

♪ That grace appear ♪

♪ The hour I first believed ♪

I want to come back, James.

I don't want a divorce anymore.

- Amazing.

- What?

- Grace.

- Amazing grace?

- Yeah, amazing grace.

You used to sing it.

I played some old tapes,

and I jogged a few memories.

Got a bit upset.

Thought about when we first met up and that.

Lisa.

Lisa, who are you?

- Your wife.

- Are you?

I'm really not sure you are anymore.

- What did I do?

- The whole Luke thing.

That's what you did.

- We had everything, James.

- Yeah.

Yeah, we had everything.

And now we have

(plates clatter)

nothing.

- I don't understand.

What am I supposed to do?

- Look,

I need some

help in what I do.

I mean, if I'm gonna be an MP.

- You need an image.

I can be that image.

- I need someone who's gonna be in my home, Lisa.

- I am your home, James.

- It doesn't feel like it at the moment.

Answer your phone.

- Who's Tara?

Okay.

I'll hand you over to James.

- Hello.

What's this about?

You phoned my wife, you're not phoning me.

Oh, my god.

That's fucking terrible.

All right.

- What is it?

What happened?

- A campaign bus.

A campaign bus crashed.

Luke and Tom were on it.

- And?

They're okay, right?

- It doesn't appear that they are.

♪ Through many dangers, toils, and snares ♪

♪ I have already come ♪

Lisa.

I'm an idiot.

I love you.

We'll make it work, all right?

♪ 'Twas grace that brought me safe thus far ♪

♪ And grace will lead me home ♪

- So who's Tara?

(camera clicks)

- Tara.

Tara's a stupid fucking girl

I've been ignoring you for for the past six months.

That's who Tara is.

Tara's fucking dead.

- James.

It's okay.

It doesn't matter anymore.

(sobs)

- I almost divorced you.

♪ The Lord has promised good to me ♪

♪ His word my hope secures ♪

♪ He will my shield and portion be ♪

♪ As long as life endures ♪

♪ Yea, when this flesh and heart shall fail ♪

♪ And mortal life shall cease ♪

(thunder booms)

♪ I shall possess within the veil ♪

♪ A life of joy and peace ♪

♪ The earth shall soon dissolve like snow ♪

♪ The sun forbear to shine ♪

♪ But God, who called me here below ♪

♪ Will be forever mine ♪

♪ When we've been there ten thousand years ♪

♪ Bright shining as the sun ♪

♪ We've no less days to sing God's praise ♪

♪ Than when we'd first begun ♪

(rain patters)