Original subtitles

Previously on "Imposters"...

You're in way, way over your heads.

You're gonna get the hell out of Seattle,

because if you don't,

I am quite literally a dead person,

and then all of you are not far behind me.

Who the hell are you?

Uh, Federal Borough of Investigation.

Did you say "Borough"?

We just want our money.

Are you willing to destroy your mother

and bring down Bloom Boot & Heel

in one fell swoop?

And are you going to be able to live with yourself

when your hometown finds out

that you threw that interception on purpose to beat the spread?

Poor Jules.

Do not go there.

Don't threaten us, I'm telling you.

[grunts, screams]

We were never going to run.

You need to stop saying "we."

Maxy?

Rules of the game, Sal.

You knew 'em. You broke 'em.

Chin up, Max.

It's better to be sad than dead.

[tense music]

Dad had a heart attack. You need to come home.

Saffron Keyes, will you marry me?

No. I have a counter-proposal.

Let's run away together.

- Patrick's in the FBI. - No, he isn't!

I followed him to the goddamn headquarters,

looked down on the goddamn seal,

and it said Federal goddamn Bureau of Investigation.

Wait. What?

We need you back, like, now.

Okay, okay.

What am I doing here again?

Well, some information has come to our...

More importantly, what are you doing here?

Wasn't Max clear?

Danger for you. Danger for me.

Leave Seattle. Not that hard to understand.

You know, we didn't have to come here and tell you this.

We could've just left town with you in jeopardy.

I'm aware of the risks of my job, thanks.

Yeah. A different kind of jeopardy.

Yeah, that puts us in jeopardy, too.

Legally, maybe.

- Probably. - Definitely.

So, we decided that whether you deserve our help or not,

not telling you would make us as unethical as you,

- which we're not. - Indeed.

That's right. Ethics, Google it.

So, we're gonna tell you, okay?

Patrick's in the FBI.

[laughs]

What... what is that supposed to mean?

Which word didn't you understand?

So much for true love.

Patrick is the Federal...

He's a Federal agent in the FBI.

You really think I wouldn't be able to figure it out

if Patrick was in the FBI?

Current circumstances would suggest

that no, in fact, you would not.

Because you have not.

Because it's wrong. It's not possible.

Oh, you just know him so well?

You guys are what, soul mates?

Okay. This is ridiculous.

Bye-bye, kids. I suggest you all...

Just shut up for a second and listen.

I followed Patrick into the Seattle headquarters of the FBI,

where he used his f...ing badge to go through security.

And then I saw his little sister Gina and Auntie What's-Her-Face

with their badges,

dressed like legit freaking FBI agents.

♪ ♪

Awful, isn't it,

when you invest yourself,

give yourself over to something,

and then learn you've been deeply, deeply betrayed?

Uh, I-I need to get out of, um...

We think we can help, okay?

- Uh... - My parents have a house

in upstate New York.

I need to go to the bathroom.

Be right back.

♪ ♪

[sighs]

You really enjoyed that, didn't you?

I didn't enjoy it.

I kind of did...

till the end when she got, you know...

Yeah, totally freaked out and panicky and sad?

Yeah. Not cool, guys.

We decided to tell her, and now she knows.

Her feelings got hurt? Welcome to the club.

Yeah, welcome to the club.

Are you ready to order?

Or are you waiting on your friend?

We're gonna wait on our friend.

Yeah, thank you.

Oh, no. Oh, shit.

What? Where are you going?

What?

Shit...

shit...

shit.

♪ ♪

[distant chatter]

♪ ♪

Taxi!

[distant chatter]

Sea-Tac Airport, please.

You got it.

[distant chatter]

[breathing heavily]

My name's Patrick, by the way.

Come on, why don't you sit with me for a minute?

My sister, Gina.

This beautiful young lady here is my Auntie Colleen.

Auntie, this is my friend Saffron.

You are the most incredible,

fascinating woman I've ever met,

and I know a life with you would be exciting

and fulfilling and beautiful,

and I know that we would laugh every single day

for decades.

Saffron Keyes, will you marry me?

♪ ♪

Excuse me?

Change of plan.

♪ ♪

Babe?

Babe, you home?

[gun clicks]

♪ ♪

Hi, there.

Oh, damn.

You scared me.

Surprised?

Happily.

That's a good kind.

Yeah, it is.

Thought you were at work.

I really needed a personal day.

Oh, lucky me.

Damn right, lucky you.

[both heavy breathing, moaning]

[intense music]

Oh.

♪ ♪

Patrick.

[both moaning]

[both panting]

I don't think they're gonna let me wear white at our wedding after that.

- What? - Our traditional wedding.

Patrick,

will you marry me?

Really?

Nothing would make me happier.

Oh, babe.

It's a lot.

I know.

You know, I think something's missing.

[beeping]

[safe whirs open]

[tense music]

♪ ♪

I can't wait to make you my wife.

I can't wait to be your wife.

♪ ♪

[elevator bell dings]

- Steroid bullshit. - [laughing]

Ah, we didn't even need your bat last night, Simons.

Gina picked up your slack, and I put Mark on first.

- No errors, baby. - Ha, pickin' machine.

Always like a W. Good work, guys.

It was all in the coaching.

Guess who got engaged last night?

- Whoa. - Wait, what?

Yep. It's on.

- Damn. - I knew it.

Thank you, sir.

Way to bury the goddamn lead, agent.

Well, it's a team effort.

Okay, phase two. Mark, new schedule and budget.

Okay, everybody, listen up.

Let's go. All right.

The pattern post-wedding: usually 20 to 30 days,

so we should be within weeks

of taking the Doctor down.

And then we'll go back and clean up this little guy.

Yes? All right.

Uh, when's the wedding?

She said sooner the better.

Then her eyes got all sparkly.

Dollar signs, of course.

[chuckles] Of course.

[tense music]

You brought the f...ing Feds to the Doctor's door?

Hey, this is not on me.

All your research and you couldn't find out anything?

Don't give me your shit. The doctor vetted him.

- Yeah, see? Exactly! - I don't know

- how that happened! - It's not really our screw-up.

Damn it!

Max.

What are you doing?

We got to leave. Today.

Now. I'm sorry to say it, doll.

It may be time for us to split up,

because this whole thing is over.

It's over and it's finished!

We're not running. I've accepted his proposal.

You really are crazy.

It's our only play.

And we're gonna use Ezra, Richard, and Jules to help us.

God help all of you, then. Come on, come on.

Listen to me. Listen.

I have an idea. It's a good one.

God damn it, get out of my way, or so help me!

Max, if we run, we die. We die!

You know I'm right.

[stirring music]

♪ ♪

She's not coming, man.

Hey, she set the meeting. She's coming.

It's like we're in a giant birth canal.

Like we're being born again, given a second chance.

Maybe that's why she chose here.

Maybe, or maybe it's just a good, safe spot

in a public place.

Maybe she bolted.

Literally, out of a window, bolted.

I don't know why we're falling for this shit again.

Because, like I said, this time she needs us.

And here she is.

- What the hell? - How's the finger?

- Finger's fine. - Well, you heal fast.

- That's a good trait. - I hope you do, too.

- Oh, I have an idea... - Hey, hey, everybody calm down.

So, here we are.

And no amount of blaming or finger pointing

or finger breaking or bullshitting

is going to change the fact

that we are all... all five of us...

in the exact same boat.

We run, the Feds catch us,

or the Doctor kills us.

Us?

You think the Doctor knows they're in Seattle?

I would imagine so, yes.

So, yes, us. We are, simply put, cornered.

Nice to see you, too. Who's got the cyanide?

I have a plan.

So, wait a sec. This Heller guy leaves,

and then you guys decided to scam Patrick instead?

It's irrelevant. We should just focus on the job.

Kinda, yes.

"Kinda?"

Well, that's suspiciously inarticulate.

When Heller disappeared,

the Doctor made Patrick the new mark.

He's very rich, and he was already on the hook,

if you know what I mean.

- Interesting. - Why's that interesting?

Proof of life on Mars, I guess.

You know, formerly thought to have been uninhabitable.

Hmm. I told you she digs athletes.

Like in real life.

Yeah, the coal-black heart pumps a drop of thick blood.

All right, you know what? This is exactly

the kind of irrelevant bullshit I was talking about.

You want to have a turf war over my vagina?

Go right ahead. Me and Max over here are gonna

focus on not getting jailed or killed.

Grow up and be professional.

We are not professional con artists, you are.

Really? Where'd you get the money to come find me?

Who'd you pretend to be when you conned my parents

in Pottsville?

They have the look, don't they, Max?

They might, yeah. They just might.

What's the look?

Some people need the life. They've done something bad,

or someone or something is chasing them.

Other people get a taste of the grift,

and then they get hungry for it.

They like it.

Those people have the look.

So, let's not pretend we're not all up to the task.

Eyes on the prize. Agreed?

Good.

Max and I are going to teach you everything you need to know.

And then we take Patrick,

we pay off the Doctor,

and the FBI doesn't even know what happened.

Okay.

What do we do?

Max will give each of you a specific assignment.

You need to be supplied and ready by end-of-day tomorrow.

And then, well...

then the show begins.

[lively funk music]

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

[seedy music]

♪ ♪

Grant 6000 series. State-of-the-art lock.

Very difficult to open.

But you got one of those lock-picky things, right?

Lock-picky? Jeez, nope.

You... What are we going to...

Oh.

[alarm beeping]

Here, here.

You have the code, right?

What? Why would I have the c...

No, man, no, I don't have the code.

Well, shit, we have about 30 seconds to figure it out.

If you were a beefy FBI guy pretending to be a billionaire,

what... what would the code be?

[stammering] "Helipad," "caviar"...

It's numbers... What year was the FBI invented?

Like, the '70s or something? I-I don't know, man!

Nah, I'm just messing with you.

Maddie gave me the code.

[sighs]

You're an asshole, dude.

Let's just get this over with.

Got to have a sense of fun, kid.

I'm just happy I finally asked him.

- You asked him? - Hold on, wait a minute.

Well, he asked me first when we were in Aspen,

but I said no.

- Really? - Yeah.

And I said "Let's just run away together,"

and I swear he almost said yes to that.

- Really? - Okay, come on.

- [chuckles] - I didn't say that.

Hold on, you. Saffron, what happened next?

I don't know. We came home,

and I looked at him one day,

and thought to myself, "I am crazy."

Right? I mean, I have to marry this man.

I love him.

So I asked him.

I am so glad you did.

Otherwise this marriage may have never happened.

Oh, it's happening.

It's all happening.

[seedy music]

♪ ♪

Now, that pisses me off.

Sloppy.

No name, no address.

Get the subscriptions. It's lazy.

Amateur hour.

Amateur hour.

♪ ♪

Barcode, Barney's Discount Furniture Warehouse.

I mean, come on.

[sighs]

♪ ♪

Hey, look at this.

The guy's got exactly the same pants on

in Hawaii and on Christmas.

[chuckles] Not bad, kid.

I mean, khakis are comfortable,

and they do provide good support,

but that's a good get.

Thanks.

Listen. The pinky thing.

- Yeah, can we not... - No, no, no, no.

Let me talk.

I'm sorry it had to happen.

But I got to say, you took it like a man.

Thanks.

Maddie should never have missed this stuff.

She was distracted.

Yeah.

She said it's in here.

♪ ♪

Yeah, nice bedroom.

Perfect angle from here.

♪ ♪

[buzzing]

Camera.

♪ ♪

Pretty discreet, huh?

Yeah, I'd never notice it,

not even know it was there.

And that is the art of the con.

They should never even know it happened.

And both sides of my family are gonna come

from Cincinnati and Pottsville, of course,

and I was thinking we could pay for their flights.

They don't have a lot of money, so...

Actually, we can just get a coordinator

to work out all the travel stuff.

That would be amazing.

I mean, that could get awfully pricey.

Yeah, but...

[slurred speech] Where's my friends?

I don't have a reservation.

Oh, I'm calm!

Oh, my God.

What are you doing? I'm just trying to find...

- Isn't that your brother? - Yeah.

Oh, they're here. No, it's fine, I got them.

- Please calm down, sir. - Hey, guys.

- Please, please... - No, I'm calm, I'm...

I don't know if you're in the right restaurant.

I would be liking to join my friends.

- Okay, please, please watch... - Sorry, sorry.

- Sorry. - Yes, thank you.

Ezra.

Hey! Hey, guys, hey.

[sighs] How's it going?

Good God, man. You smell like a distillery.

What's going on?

A toast of congratulations

to Patrick and Gina...

Welcome to the club.

You know, same boat now.

- Same boat? I don't... - Look.

I'm not gonna let you do it to somebody else.

All right?

'Cause I like you, man. You know?

- You seem nice, and she's... - Ezra.

She's not the woman you think she is.

No, it's fine. I'm gonna tell a story.

I met a girl... a "Belgian" girl...

in Indianapolis, and... whoa...

I'm just gonna take him home. Come on.

- I'm telling a story! - You're embarrassing me.

- Do you want me to help you? - No, no, no, I...

No, I'm trying to tell... I'm trying to tell a story.

- I'm just gonna take him home. - Story time.

- Stop it. - What? I'm...

I'll call you later.

She'll call you later. Yeah.

She'll call... Yeah, of course she will.

- I'm sorry. - She's so sorry.

You know, you'll be sorry if you marry her!

Stop it. Shut up.

What the hell was that?

I thought he was working with her.

The whole lame brother backstory and everything?

Yeah, me too.

Unbelievable.

This is what you do? Huh?

Get drunk and make a scene?

I mean, I cannot... I cannot even believe how...

amazing you were! [both laughing]

Hey, high school drama club, baby.

- Wow. - Yeah.

What is this? Iced tea!

- Uh-huh. - I'm impressed.

Thank you very much.

Good work, Ezra Bloom.

Nice working with you, too.

- Hmm. - [laughs]

We deserve a real drink.

I think we do.

- Let's go. - All right.

[laughing] Come on.

What if he's one of her former marks?

Came looking for her.

Jesus, I mean, what if he... What if he scares her off?

What if... What if she runs?

No, no, no, he didn't completely blow it for her yet.

You know what? This...

This actually might be good for us.

We looked it up. It's the mustard dip.

- [laughing] - It's a thing.

- It's a real thing, so... - The mustard dip!

Yeah, so we screwed that one up twice, and...

But then I worked on my hand lifts,

and then we pulled of this major version of it in a mall

right after we reverse-found your IP address and located you.

There was this guy in a seersucker suit sitting there...

What?

Nothing. Nothing.

You're just really into this.

[chuckles] Yeah, well,

necessity is the mother of... blah, blah.

But now, I mean, in the restaurant, you and me...

like, I knew exactly what you were gonna do

right before you did it.

It was like...

Like we're in each other's heads.

Yes! Totally in sync.

Like, you know, like the time we...

the time we had dinner with Mom and Dad

at that weird Thai place, and...

Oh, my God. [both laughing]

[bar music playing]

[clears throat]

Yeah, well, the important thing is, he took the bait, so...

So, when do you make the move?

Depends on how worried he is.

Maybe tonight.

_

Don't do that.

You do not get to do that anymore.

What?

Speak French, flirt, be Ava.

Let's not play games with each other.

Well...

is this the Ezra Bloom I married?

Definitely not.

I guess I have you to thank for that.

Or something.

I'm beat.

You got me covered?

Sure. It's the least...

The least you can do?

Yeah. It is.

♪ ♪

All right.

[chuckles]

Got a little thrill, don't you?

Yeah, man.

Got to admit I love it.

Always puts a little goose in my step, too.

- Yeah. - Jazzed!

[laughs]

Hey, um, you want to go blow off some steam?

Sure.

All right. Cool.

I got just the place.

[laughing] Keep going.

Got to be kidding.

Keep going!

There's no way, man!

Oh! [laughing]

Whoo!

I want to see another one of those, kid.

Holy shit.

Why'd you stop playing ball, anyway?

Ugh. It wasn't my choice, really.

I, um...

6-foot at 14...

still 6-foot at 18.

That was it for me.

- Really? - Yeah.

That was the biggest heartbreak I could imagine, man.

Out of my control, you know?

Yeah.

And then Alice.

That was the real heartbreak.

That one I felt like I did to myself.

Well, we're pretty good at our jobs.

Sorry, bud.

Oh, man, it's all right.

It's just...

I look at her now, and...

it's not Alice, you know?

It's like that connection that we had is just...

it's gone.

It's just, like...

[clears throat]

What about you, man?

You ever been married?

Nah. No.

Well, I had someone.

I mean, for a time.

And if things had just been a touch different,

if we weren't in the life,

she could've been the one, but...

she screwed up, and I had to break it up, and...

[solemn music]

send her packing, so to speak.

♪ ♪

But, like you said, I kind of did it to myself.

And now she's gone.

I'm sorry, man.

[bottles clink]

All right.

Ready?

Yep.

[sighs]

Ah!

[tense music]

♪ ♪

Hey, babe.

I am so, so sorry about that.

Everything okay?

You know, he was never a drinker.

I don't get it. I mean, a couple of beers

here and there, but now it's like...

Nah, it's fine. I'm just glad he's okay.

[sighs]

Just don't worry about any of that stuff he said, okay?

Oh, babe, it's all good. He was hammered, I get it.

Just... he talks crazy sometimes.

Hey, hey, hey, hey. I'm reading here.

Oh-ho! "Sports Insider" reading?

Yeah, you're right. I just like the pictures.

They're shiny.

Shiny. I know.

Mm-hmm.

[moans]

The plot thickens.

I'm gonna tell you three things.

Ready?

Ready.

One:

I really, really

almost fell in love with you.

Almost? What do you mean?

Shh.

Two:

I know you're in the FBI.

- I'm not... - Don't.

- All right, that's enough. - Settle.

Don't you want to know number three?

♪ ♪

I'm going to make you a deal,

and we're both gonna get what we want.

Okay, baby?

[straining]

Ugh! Damn it!

Come on. You're a big policeman.

You know you can't get out of those things

without keys.

- Saffron. - Maddie.

- Maddie. - Good.

You know, I would've loved

to have kept this little charade going,

but that scene my ex just pulled in the restaurant

kind of forced my hand.

You and your sister aren't dummies.

Do you understand the Bureau is all over you,

and it's only because of me that you haven't

been arrested already?

You arrest me, you don't get what you want.

Well, we're gonna see about that, aren't we?

Really? You don't want the Doctor?

Keep talking.

Gary Heller was laundering money for the Doctor.

He was also skimming.

The Doctor thinks he recovered all of it,

but when I tell him I found

a half a million dollars more of his

buried in Heller's house,

he will come to collect.

- You found half a million... - No, stupid.

The Bureau will provide it. It's called bait.

That's absurd.

Is it?

This house. Your Tesla.

Aspen.

Government has gone this far.

What's a little bit more to seal the deal?

Especially when they're going to get it all back.

All right, cool. I'll play.

Got to ask the obvious: why would I trust you?

Do you really have a choice?

Besides,

maybe not everything that happened between us

was a total lie.

Oh, no?

You tell me.

What's your angle? What do you get?

Immunity.

I get you the Doctor, you get me someplace new to start over.

Really start over.

Believe it or not, all I want right now is to feel normal.

You think you can sell it to the Bureau?

If you'll testify, and it gets me the Doctor,

then... yeah.

Good. Ezra Bloom, my ex.

Max, my right-hand man.

You have to leave them alone for this to play out.

I don't think the Bureau is going to offer immunity

to all these people.

I don't care if they get immunity.

Look, whatever happens with them after this is over,

that's up to you.

But for now, we need them.

Cold hearted.

It's the life we chose, baby.

What about Ezra's girlfriend?

Jules? Totally clueless.

I feel vaguely bad for her.

He just picked her up to make me jealous.

If you cut her loose, he'll know something's up.

Let her be.

So, do we have a deal?

Yeah.

We have a deal.

Good.

On one condition.

You don't really get to make conditions

considering the fact...

I'm gonna need the ring.

Oh, this?

Yeah, that little million-dollar thing.

Take it.

[solemn music]

♪ ♪

That one is breathtaking.

Oh, I know just the right hairpiece for that.

You are just so beautiful.

Damn it.

[chuckles]

We didn't have any of this.

We were much cooler than this.

I don't know.

Sometimes it makes me even more crazy

the way we just ran off and got married,

no one there to see us, none of my friends,

nobody to say that they were actually there

and that it really happened.

Hey. It happened.

I know it technically happened.

What? What is it?

You know how many times I've done this?

Stood here in this dress?

I don't really want to know.

[both laugh]

This is gonna be the last one, right?

Once this is over, you can...

You must think I'm really messed up, don't you?

I don't know.

Yes... maybe.

Not when we were together.

Whoever that person I was with...

she was...

something else.

I got you.

[laughs]

I missed you.

Jules...

Stop.

Stop it.

I'm sorry. I didn't mean...

You're the devil.

Jules.

Come on, we can't do this.

Okay, I'm not your pal, okay?

I was your wife!

I can't do this anymore.

- Jules. - I'm out.

What do you mean you're out?

Jules, come on. We need you.

None of this is gonna work without you.

I guess it won't work.

- [phone line trills] - Hello?

Hey. We're in trouble.

I think Jules is gonna bail on us.

You got to talk to her ASAP, okay?

[suspenseful music]

- [door opens] - Jules?

- [scoffs] - Hey.

She called you. I guess that makes you

her favorite, then, doesn't it, huh?

Okay, look, she feels really bad that she upset you.

And I'm sure you got it quite a thrill

when she needed you to clean up her little mess.

Just like I did when we kissed.

[scoffs]

She didn't tell you that part? Ha.

Whatever happens at Barbara's Bridal Boutique

stays at Barbara's Bridal Boutique.

- What about the code? - There is no goddamn code

when you're in a bridal dressing room with the woman you loved.

There's just words and promises

and melancholy and kissing.

And scissoring! So much scissoring!

Okay, screw Maddie, all right?

I need you.

Richard needs you.

We've come this far to try and make our lives whole again.

Am I right? We're all in this.

We have to finish this.

Not for her, but... for us.

[sighs]

Got any quarters?

What are you doing?

Oh.

Stupid.

[laughing softly]

[coin clinking]

[sighs]

[sighs]

You know she's playing you, too, right?

You're not special.

I'm not special.

Richard...

Both: Definitely isn't special. [both laugh]

This is still a con, and we're all suckers.

Now we're just the suckers who are in on it.

[tense music]

♪ ♪

[phone chiming]

[phone buzzes]

And?

Well, the wedding is on.

Ah, how great. Congratulations all around.

Well, I-I wanted you to be the first to know.

Dad, come on. It's starting.

I'll be right up, kiddo.

Anything else I need to know?

Uh, no, no. That's the report.

And I'll be getting back to you.

[phone snaps shut] Doctor, I...

[distant chatter]

♪ ♪

[siren chirps]

Ezra Bloom, stop walking!

Hands up! Get your hands up!

- Show me your hands, show 'em. - All right, all right.

- Go to the hood. - All right.

Go to the hood. Get your head down.

I know Maddie Johnson had a plan to take all my money.

And I'm sure

that you were hoping to get yours back

after she stole mine.

But guess what?

I don't make that kind of money.

[exhales sharply]

Yeah. Bitter pill.

I knew you were bad news.

I told Maddie when I met you there was something about you that just didn't...

You told her what?

That I wasn't rich or handsome

or charming as hell?

Screw you. I want a lawyer.

You got no idea what you stepped into here.

But you getting drunk

and screaming to the world that Maddie is Saffron

or Saffron is Maddie, and the sky is falling...

That doesn't help me do my job.

Why would I care about helping you do your job?

Whatever fantasy you have in your head

about sticking by her side,

and maybe she'll realize that you guys are meant to be...

it's never gonna happen.

Maddie Johnson cares about one person:

Maddie Johnson.

She doesn't give a shit about you.

Meanwhile, I got you.

I got you on credit card fraud,

I got you on identity theft,

and I got you on petty larceny.

So, you are going to do whatever it is I need you to do

to take her down.

Or you are going to go to big boy prison.

- synced and corrected by sot26 - www.addic7ed.com