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1
00:03:31,560 --> 00:03:33,630
Ralph.
2
00:03:33,720 --> 00:03:36,075
You've got three minutes.
3
00:03:36,160 --> 00:03:38,116
Coming.
4
00:03:39,280 --> 00:03:40,998
Ralph.
5
00:03:41,080 --> 00:03:42,752
Coming.
6
00:03:42,840 --> 00:03:44,796
Don't run.
7
00:03:52,880 --> 00:03:54,836
Where's your father?
8
00:03:57,880 --> 00:04:00,155
Cat got your tongue?
What's the matter with you?
9
00:04:01,600 --> 00:04:04,512
Regina, no lunch, thank you.
We're eating at Government House.
10
00:04:04,600 --> 00:04:06,556
Thank you, madam.
11
00:04:07,800 --> 00:04:11,236
- You scrubbed up well, Popeye.
- Don't call me that, Dad.
12
00:04:11,320 --> 00:04:13,470
- Especially not in public.
- Of course I won't.
13
00:04:13,560 --> 00:04:14,913
- Popeye.
- Dad!
14
00:04:15,000 --> 00:04:18,072
- Ask your father for the car keys.
- They're in her handbag.
15
00:04:18,960 --> 00:04:23,431
You might just make an effort.
Just this once, on this one ocasion.
16
00:04:23,520 --> 00:04:26,239
I suppose that would be asking
just a little too much.
17
00:04:28,800 --> 00:04:30,836
Take no notice. Let's go, Popeye.
18
00:04:34,160 --> 00:04:36,515
- Sauwubona, Mrs Compton.
- Dozen.
19
00:04:38,920 --> 00:04:41,275
- Sauwubona, Dozen.
- Sauwubona, Mr Compton.
20
00:04:44,040 --> 00:04:45,792
Siyabonga, Dozen.
21
00:05:04,160 --> 00:05:06,355
May i open my window, please?
22
00:05:07,520 --> 00:05:09,875
My hair will get ruined.
23
00:05:13,520 --> 00:05:19,152
To our trusty and well-beloved
Harry Childs Compton,
24
00:05:19,240 --> 00:05:25,190
for 22 years of exemplary service
for education here in Swaziland.
25
00:05:33,800 --> 00:05:37,952
This tenth day of June, 1969,
26
00:05:38,040 --> 00:05:42,238
in the 18th year of our reign,
by the Sovereign's command,
27
00:05:42,320 --> 00:05:44,276
Elizabeth II.
28
00:05:46,960 --> 00:05:49,190
- Well done, Dad.
- Thank you, Popeye.
29
00:05:56,000 --> 00:05:58,116
- Well done, old bean.
- Thank you, Charles.
30
00:05:58,200 --> 00:06:00,509
- Congratulations, lumpkin.
- Hear, hear.
31
00:06:00,600 --> 00:06:02,636
- Welcome to the club.
- Oh, thank you.
32
00:06:02,720 --> 00:06:04,676
You're looking ravishing, June.
33
00:06:04,760 --> 00:06:06,716
- Am I really?
- Oh, yes, you are.
34
00:06:06,800 --> 00:06:09,678
- Gwennie, I didn't see you there.
- Don't mind me.
35
00:06:09,760 --> 00:06:12,320
Huge congratulations, Harry.
36
00:06:12,400 --> 00:06:14,595
- Thank you, Gwennie.
- So proud of you.
37
00:06:14,680 --> 00:06:18,559
- Congratulations, Harry.
- You've got some bloody front, Trahene.
38
00:06:24,000 --> 00:06:26,389
- You must be ever so proud...
- Bugger off.
39
00:06:30,160 --> 00:06:33,118
- Would anybody like a cigarette?
- Thank you, Gwennie.
40
00:06:41,360 --> 00:06:42,998
Is this some new game?
41
00:06:44,760 --> 00:06:46,512
Am I mising something?
42
00:06:46,600 --> 00:06:48,556
- What's up?
- Why Don't you ask him?
43
00:06:52,960 --> 00:06:54,916
Nine months.
44
00:06:56,080 --> 00:06:58,878
Nine months. No speaks.
45
00:06:58,960 --> 00:07:04,034
Go on. I dare you. Just once,
break your epic bloody sulk
46
00:07:04,120 --> 00:07:07,112
Answer me this.
Where were you last night?
47
00:07:08,840 --> 00:07:11,195
We all left the club at the same time.
48
00:07:13,880 --> 00:07:15,836
Another flat tyre?
49
00:07:20,280 --> 00:07:22,077
Do you think he doesn't know?
50
00:07:32,720 --> 00:07:36,508
Regina, you can remove
all these silly cards now, thank you.
51
00:07:38,480 --> 00:07:39,708
Yes, sir.
52
00:07:42,360 --> 00:07:45,830
How dare you contradict me
in front of a servant?
53
00:07:45,920 --> 00:07:48,559
The Sphinx has spoken.
54
00:07:51,040 --> 00:07:52,473
What's a gong, Dad?
55
00:07:52,560 --> 00:07:55,279
That stupid piece of metal bird shit
they gave your father.
56
00:07:55,360 --> 00:07:57,157
Take no notice.
57
00:07:57,240 --> 00:07:59,196
Ask your mother to pass the salt.
58
00:08:11,960 --> 00:08:14,076
Why is Daddy's medal stupid?
59
00:08:15,360 --> 00:08:19,512
Because all those idiots, dressed up
like bloody vanilla ice creams,
60
00:08:19,600 --> 00:08:25,596
think that it's a suitable reward
for enduring a lifetime of boredom
61
00:08:25,680 --> 00:08:30,037
out here in this...
middle of bloody nowhere, that's why!
62
00:08:31,520 --> 00:08:33,272
If anyone deserves a medal, it's me.
63
00:08:34,240 --> 00:08:37,516
- I need another drink.
- I bet you do.
64
00:08:39,680 --> 00:08:43,150
You're pathetic. Pathetic.
65
00:08:44,000 --> 00:08:45,672
Always have been, always will be.
66
00:08:45,760 --> 00:08:51,198
Why is this House stuffed to the
gunwales with cards and telegrams?
67
00:08:51,280 --> 00:08:54,875
Toadying arselickers, the lot of them!
68
00:09:24,520 --> 00:09:26,476
Wake up, darling.
69
00:09:27,360 --> 00:09:28,475
Ralphie.
70
00:09:29,000 --> 00:09:30,558
What?
71
00:09:30,640 --> 00:09:32,835
This is the hardest thing
I've ever had to say.
72
00:09:32,920 --> 00:09:35,309
There is no easy way to say this but...
73
00:09:35,400 --> 00:09:37,675
Darling, Mummy's leaving.
74
00:09:37,760 --> 00:09:39,716
How do you mean?
75
00:09:42,240 --> 00:09:45,312
You won't have to go to school today.
76
00:09:45,400 --> 00:09:48,915
It's just that I can't carry on
any more like this.
77
00:09:49,520 --> 00:09:52,671
But I love you very, very much. Bye, angel.
78
00:09:52,760 --> 00:09:55,672
- Please Don't go. I beg of you.
- I must.
79
00:09:55,760 --> 00:09:58,513
Then take me with you. Please.
80
00:09:59,480 --> 00:10:01,436
I can't.
81
00:10:11,320 --> 00:10:13,072
I'll call you.
82
00:10:31,240 --> 00:10:33,196
Dad.
83
00:11:13,960 --> 00:11:15,712
When's she Coming back?
84
00:11:16,800 --> 00:11:18,756
I Don't know, Popeye.
85
00:11:20,880 --> 00:11:22,836
A long time or a little time?
86
00:11:24,240 --> 00:11:26,708
Maybe a long time.
87
00:11:27,480 --> 00:11:29,755
Maybe never?
88
00:11:29,840 --> 00:11:31,558
Maybe
89
00:11:32,800 --> 00:11:35,633
- Doesn't she love me any more?
- Of course she does.
90
00:11:37,400 --> 00:11:39,356
Then how could she leave?
91
00:12:00,920 --> 00:12:02,876
She's very well, thank you.
92
00:12:04,000 --> 00:12:05,956
This is Mr Compton.
93
00:12:07,320 --> 00:12:09,709
- Morning, sir.
- Good morning, class.
94
00:12:09,800 --> 00:12:11,472
You may sit down, thank you.
95
00:12:17,720 --> 00:12:20,029
All right, let's see.
96
00:12:23,640 --> 00:12:25,596
Very good.
97
00:12:26,760 --> 00:12:28,716
Excellent. Very difficult one.
98
00:12:29,560 --> 00:12:31,516
Yes?
99
00:12:32,840 --> 00:12:35,149
I'm begging you. Lauren, please.
100
00:12:36,760 --> 00:12:40,878
Just give me a chance.
Is that too much to bloody ask?
101
00:12:40,960 --> 00:12:42,916
It's over
102
00:12:43,000 --> 00:12:44,956
I'm never coming back.
103
00:12:45,920 --> 00:12:47,876
Where's Ralph?
104
00:12:50,480 --> 00:12:52,630
He's right here.
105
00:12:52,720 --> 00:12:54,676
You ask her, Popeye.
106
00:12:59,600 --> 00:13:01,352
Are you there already?
107
00:13:01,440 --> 00:13:03,396
Just got here darling
108
00:13:04,240 --> 00:13:06,595
When are you Coming home?
109
00:13:06,680 --> 00:13:09,956
I can't. Not for a while
110
00:13:10,040 --> 00:13:13,919
But I'll eat all my vegetables, I promise.
111
00:13:14,000 --> 00:13:16,434
Please, Mummy.
112
00:13:16,520 --> 00:13:18,795
I beg of you. Please.
113
00:13:19,560 --> 00:13:22,472
It'll be much better once
you're settled at boarding school
114
00:13:22,560 --> 00:13:25,028
I love you. I have to go
115
00:13:25,120 --> 00:13:27,076
Bye-bye Ralphie.
116
00:13:42,680 --> 00:13:46,195
Thank you, Lord, for the love you give.
Thank you, Lord, for the life we live.
117
00:13:47,280 --> 00:13:51,796
Please make my mummy come back again
and fix our broken family.
118
00:13:52,760 --> 00:13:54,398
Amen.
119
00:14:09,160 --> 00:14:11,071
Please, wake up.
120
00:14:13,720 --> 00:14:15,676
Please don't be dead.
121
00:14:21,160 --> 00:14:23,116
Don't wory, Dad.
122
00:14:23,960 --> 00:14:25,916
It'll be all right.
123
00:14:30,080 --> 00:14:32,036
It'll be all right, Dad.
124
00:14:44,760 --> 00:14:49,231
- Good morning, class.
- Good morning, Mr Parker.
125
00:14:52,600 --> 00:14:55,194
Stand up. Yes, you two.
126
00:14:57,320 --> 00:14:59,276
Read it out loud and clear.
127
00:15:01,480 --> 00:15:03,311
Chop, chop, Compton.
We're all waiting.
128
00:15:05,840 --> 00:15:07,910
Speak up. We haven't got all day.
129
00:15:10,560 --> 00:15:13,472
- "Where's your mum?"
- Meaning?
130
00:15:13,560 --> 00:15:15,755
- Nothing, sir.
- Clare?
131
00:15:15,840 --> 00:15:19,230
- His mother's adulterated, sir.
- Bugger you.
132
00:15:20,480 --> 00:15:22,789
Come back in here, young man. Be quiet.
133
00:15:26,200 --> 00:15:27,349
Bugger you.
134
00:15:27,440 --> 00:15:30,750
No, bugger you. Bugger you both.
135
00:15:32,840 --> 00:15:34,796
Can I come in?
136
00:15:36,440 --> 00:15:39,477
This is marvellous. Absolutely marvellous.
137
00:15:39,560 --> 00:15:41,630
How did you make it?
138
00:15:41,720 --> 00:15:43,915
Just out of an old shoebox
and lollipop sticks.
139
00:15:44,000 --> 00:15:47,470
It's very, very clever.
Show me how it works.
140
00:15:49,760 --> 00:15:51,637
What happened at school today, Popeye?
141
00:15:51,720 --> 00:15:54,632
I'm not cross. I just
want to know, that's all.
142
00:15:54,720 --> 00:15:56,517
Mummy ran away too.
143
00:15:56,600 --> 00:15:59,239
That's different. She
fell out of love with me.
144
00:15:59,320 --> 00:16:02,676
- Why did she leave me?
- One day you'll understand.
145
00:16:02,760 --> 00:16:05,752
- When you're older.
- But you Don't understand.
146
00:16:05,840 --> 00:16:07,114
And you are older.
147
00:16:08,480 --> 00:16:11,438
That is very true, smarty-pants.
148
00:16:11,840 --> 00:16:14,115
Hello.
149
00:16:14,200 --> 00:16:15,792
Cooee.
150
00:16:15,880 --> 00:16:18,314
Why does she have to
come round all the time?
151
00:16:18,400 --> 00:16:20,038
Auntie Gwen's very upset.
152
00:16:20,120 --> 00:16:23,908
Mummy went away with her husband.
We're going to be very nice to her.
153
00:16:27,960 --> 00:16:29,473
Anybody in?
154
00:16:36,000 --> 00:16:38,719
You gave me the fright
of my life, you two did.
155
00:16:38,800 --> 00:16:41,917
Come here and give your Auntie Gwen
a nice big kiss.
156
00:16:45,440 --> 00:16:48,000
- Hello, Gwennie.
- Hello, Harry.
157
00:16:48,080 --> 00:16:51,197
- Would you like a drink?
- I could murder something soft.
158
00:16:51,280 --> 00:16:54,590
With maybe just a teensy-weensy
little squidge of whisky.
159
00:16:54,680 --> 00:16:57,877
- How are you, Harry?
- You know, Gwennie, bearing up.
160
00:17:00,000 --> 00:17:02,639
- And you?
- Don't ask.
161
00:17:04,080 --> 00:17:06,719
I've cooked you boys a homemade curry.
162
00:17:06,800 --> 00:17:08,995
You shouldn't have, really, Gwennie.
163
00:17:11,680 --> 00:17:13,352
It's a pleasure.
164
00:17:14,680 --> 00:17:17,990
Thanks, angel.
Just what the doctor ordered.
165
00:17:19,920 --> 00:17:22,593
- Cheers, boys.
- This is not too stiff for you?
166
00:17:22,680 --> 00:17:25,194
- No.
- How's your snstroke?
167
00:17:25,280 --> 00:17:28,352
- I beg yours?
- Mummy said you had snstroke.
168
00:17:29,880 --> 00:17:33,316
She said it made you speak slurry
and walk all wobbly.
169
00:17:33,400 --> 00:17:36,392
- Is she back, then?
- No. He's just pulling your leg.
170
00:17:36,480 --> 00:17:39,870
- Aren't you, Popeye? Relax, Gwen.
- Evening, chaps.
171
00:17:39,960 --> 00:17:41,916
- June.
- Don't get up.
172
00:17:44,040 --> 00:17:45,996
- Good to see you.
- Hello, Gwennie.
173
00:17:47,680 --> 00:17:50,558
I spy with my little eye
someone who's beaten me to it.
174
00:17:51,080 --> 00:17:53,548
- One of your curries?
- Yeah.
175
00:17:55,600 --> 00:17:58,114
Family allergy
to all things curried after lundia.
176
00:17:58,200 --> 00:18:00,191
Can't stomach the stuff.
177
00:18:03,040 --> 00:18:04,792
Where's your husband?
178
00:18:07,160 --> 00:18:09,549
Not him too? What, gone?
179
00:18:09,640 --> 00:18:13,189
- Can't keep up.
- Yes, I'm afraid so, June.
180
00:18:13,280 --> 00:18:15,953
- You poor thing. Have a hanky.
- Thank you.
181
00:18:16,040 --> 00:18:18,918
Lauren's not skedaddled back yet,
has she, Ralphie?
182
00:18:20,120 --> 00:18:22,076
Well, at least I got that right.
183
00:18:22,160 --> 00:18:25,630
Now, i've baked you chaps a Dundee.
184
00:18:29,080 --> 00:18:32,834
- Can't stay. Must trot.
- So sweet of you.
185
00:18:34,160 --> 00:18:36,116
Ta-ta.
186
00:18:39,160 --> 00:18:41,116
I'll kill that bitch!
187
00:18:50,240 --> 00:18:52,196
Harry Compton.
188
00:18:53,680 --> 00:18:56,956
I love you. I do, you know.
189
00:18:57,040 --> 00:18:58,996
I really do.
190
00:19:03,960 --> 00:19:05,916
I've come to say good night.
191
00:19:09,720 --> 00:19:12,359
Come and give your Auntie Gwen
a good-night ki...
192
00:19:12,440 --> 00:19:14,396
Are you all right, old girl?
193
00:19:15,320 --> 00:19:17,072
- I'm fine.
- You're not my ant.
194
00:19:17,160 --> 00:19:19,799
Steady on, Ralphie.
What's gotten into you, old boy?
195
00:19:22,920 --> 00:19:24,433
Come here.
196
00:19:25,520 --> 00:19:28,830
- Leave me alone.
- I know this is hard, Popeye.
197
00:19:30,360 --> 00:19:34,478
- Gwen's on our side, remember?
- Only cos she's in love with you.
198
00:19:34,560 --> 00:19:37,870
- Don't be daft.
- It's true.
199
00:19:37,960 --> 00:19:41,919
Mummy stole her husband
and now she wants you. It's obvious.
200
00:19:42,000 --> 00:19:43,956
And Auntie June is after you, too.
201
00:19:44,960 --> 00:19:48,635
Nonsense, we're all just
a little upset, that's all.
202
00:19:48,720 --> 00:19:50,153
Then why are you laughing?
203
00:19:50,240 --> 00:19:54,074
Because I am not going to get remarried.
204
00:19:54,160 --> 00:19:56,799
- God, your breath stinks.
- Enough backchat from you.
205
00:19:56,880 --> 00:19:58,836
Now, go to sleep.
206
00:20:02,760 --> 00:20:04,716
Good night.
207
00:20:07,200 --> 00:20:09,270
- Morning.
- Morning, Gwennie.
208
00:20:09,360 --> 00:20:12,033
- Good morning, all.
- Forgotten all your manners?
209
00:20:13,440 --> 00:20:17,638
Regina, could you bring an extra cup
and plate for Mrs Trahene. Tea?
210
00:20:17,720 --> 00:20:20,951
Lovely. I'm sory about last night, Ralphie.
211
00:20:21,040 --> 00:20:23,759
- It was a touch of my snstroke.
- What did I tell you?
212
00:20:24,680 --> 00:20:28,309
- I slept on the couch, you know.
- Does madam eat the kipper?
213
00:20:32,520 --> 00:20:34,875
It might be better if I
did go to a boarding school.
214
00:20:34,960 --> 00:20:37,758
- Like Mummy wanted.
- Done.
215
00:20:37,840 --> 00:20:42,356
Ralphie, I didn't mean that, Popeye.
You can't go. I'd be all alone.
216
00:20:42,440 --> 00:20:44,795
Doesn't look like it.
217
00:21:29,240 --> 00:21:31,196
I won't ever let you down, Popeye.
218
00:21:33,960 --> 00:21:35,916
I'll miss you so much.
219
00:21:42,400 --> 00:21:44,277
All right. Go. Go on.
220
00:23:43,280 --> 00:23:44,838
What happened?
221
00:23:45,720 --> 00:23:47,676
I'm so sory I'm late.
222
00:23:52,160 --> 00:23:54,435
Flat tyre. How old are you?
223
00:23:54,520 --> 00:23:56,988
I can't remember.
224
00:23:57,080 --> 00:23:59,389
Neither can I.
225
00:23:59,480 --> 00:24:01,436
- You look different.
- Yes, I've...
226
00:24:02,880 --> 00:24:05,075
- I've got remarried.
- You've what?
227
00:24:07,960 --> 00:24:10,713
- Who? Auntie Gwen?
- No, you daft fool.
228
00:24:10,800 --> 00:24:12,756
She's American.
229
00:24:16,480 --> 00:24:18,277
- How long have you known her?
- Six weeks.
230
00:24:18,360 --> 00:24:19,509
Fuck.
231
00:24:42,080 --> 00:24:43,877
You're a very big boy now.
232
00:24:52,240 --> 00:24:53,639
Hi, Ralph.
233
00:24:53,720 --> 00:24:56,792
- I'm Ruby. Hi, honey.
- And I'm Neil Armstrong.
234
00:24:56,880 --> 00:25:02,830
You are funny. God, look at you.
You are so handsome too.
235
00:25:03,960 --> 00:25:05,916
Fix me a drink, please, hon.
236
00:25:08,200 --> 00:25:09,918
- How do you do?
- Just fabulously.
237
00:25:10,000 --> 00:25:13,470
I've heard so much about you.
I was getting woried about you guys.
238
00:25:13,560 --> 00:25:15,551
- What happened, honey?
- Flat tyre, darling.
239
00:25:15,640 --> 00:25:17,392
Really, again? God.
240
00:25:18,200 --> 00:25:21,715
You must be starving. First thing
I'm gonna do is feed you up a little.
241
00:25:21,800 --> 00:25:23,392
You eat pasta?
242
00:25:23,800 --> 00:25:25,028
What happened here?
243
00:25:25,120 --> 00:25:28,078
- You like it? I just love it.
- Here you go, darling.
244
00:25:28,160 --> 00:25:31,038
- Bottomss up.
- Isn't she just gorgeous?
245
00:25:31,960 --> 00:25:34,758
- Excuse me, please.
- You go right ahead.
246
00:25:38,480 --> 00:25:41,392
Everything OK?
I got a gift to welcome you home.
247
00:25:41,480 --> 00:25:43,835
- You wanna open it?
- Thank you.
248
00:25:43,920 --> 00:25:46,354
- I'd rather not just yet, thanks.
- Take your time.
249
00:25:46,440 --> 00:25:48,510
Don't wory, this is weird for me too.
250
00:25:48,600 --> 00:25:52,354
Please Don't call me Mom.
Just Ruby, or Rube, whatever.
251
00:25:56,560 --> 00:25:58,516
All right, Popeye?
252
00:26:07,840 --> 00:26:09,796
Puppets.
253
00:26:37,280 --> 00:26:39,236
Listen.
254
00:26:40,600 --> 00:26:43,433
I'm sory you've chosen to take it this way.
255
00:26:43,520 --> 00:26:45,795
I didn't have any choice, did I?
256
00:26:45,880 --> 00:26:48,155
But what was I supposed to have done?
257
00:26:48,240 --> 00:26:50,515
You could've warned me.
258
00:26:50,600 --> 00:26:52,989
Ruby's wonderful. You'll see.
259
00:26:53,960 --> 00:26:55,916
Just give it time.
260
00:26:57,040 --> 00:26:58,996
You mean like you did?
261
00:26:59,920 --> 00:27:02,354
What?
262
00:27:02,440 --> 00:27:05,477
- Nothing.
- No, no, you said something.
263
00:27:05,560 --> 00:27:07,516
Spit it out.
264
00:27:10,680 --> 00:27:12,636
She's not my mum.
265
00:27:13,440 --> 00:27:15,032
True.
266
00:27:15,960 --> 00:27:17,916
Yes, run!
267
00:27:20,880 --> 00:27:24,031
- When's your mum Coming down?
- What do you think?
268
00:27:24,120 --> 00:27:26,156
- It's been two years.
- Bloody hell.
269
00:27:26,240 --> 00:27:27,275
Shush!
270
00:27:28,560 --> 00:27:33,111
I say. The sort of people who
go caravanning. Can you imagine?
271
00:27:33,200 --> 00:27:36,749
Sleeping on four wheels
by choice. I ask you.
272
00:27:37,640 --> 00:27:39,995
- Very good.
- Go get them, Harry.
273
00:27:42,480 --> 00:27:44,869
Harry said I'd be bored stiff but I love it.
274
00:27:46,480 --> 00:27:48,914
- Hey, hi.
- I beg your pardon.
275
00:27:49,000 --> 00:27:50,479
Granted.
276
00:27:50,560 --> 00:27:53,870
Lady Hardwick is the wife of
our high commisioner, Sir Gifford.
277
00:27:53,960 --> 00:27:57,475
- Good for you, girl.
- Lady Hardwick to you.
278
00:27:57,560 --> 00:28:00,313
- And who might you be?
- Gwen Trahene.
279
00:28:01,280 --> 00:28:03,999
My husband... ex-husband is the engineer.
280
00:28:05,040 --> 00:28:06,951
We have met.
281
00:28:07,040 --> 00:28:08,758
Four times.
282
00:28:09,640 --> 00:28:12,279
- I Don't think so.
- Come on, girls, relax.
283
00:28:12,360 --> 00:28:16,114
- I'm an American.
- How very hubbly-jubbly for you.
284
00:28:17,400 --> 00:28:19,789
- Hubbly-jubbly.
- Excuse me.
285
00:28:22,480 --> 00:28:23,913
What's with her?
286
00:28:24,440 --> 00:28:25,998
That's our family done for.
287
00:28:26,080 --> 00:28:27,798
- Bollocks.
- You watch.
288
00:28:28,880 --> 00:28:32,714
- What am I doing, Gwen?
- There was a to-do with Lady Riva.
289
00:28:32,800 --> 00:28:35,792
- Good God. Lady Riva's erupted.
- What?
290
00:28:35,880 --> 00:28:37,836
Ruby, you're an angel.
291
00:28:41,440 --> 00:28:43,795
- What did I tell you?
- You're kidding me?
292
00:28:48,440 --> 00:28:51,750
I'm being sent home. You guys want a ride?
293
00:28:58,680 --> 00:29:00,636
Toodle-pip.
294
00:29:03,280 --> 00:29:05,748
- Damn them all.
- Go, Ruby!
295
00:29:11,880 --> 00:29:14,075
Lady Riva's upset? What about poor Gwen?
296
00:29:14,160 --> 00:29:16,276
She simply introduced me to the old woman.
297
00:29:16,360 --> 00:29:18,032
She's not a woman, she's a lady.
298
00:29:18,120 --> 00:29:20,475
Not by my reckoning, she's not.
What was Gwen's crime?
299
00:29:20,560 --> 00:29:23,597
She spoke to Lady Hardwick first
before waiting to be spoken to.
300
00:29:23,680 --> 00:29:26,274
- It's just not done.
- Oh, come on, Charles.
301
00:29:26,360 --> 00:29:30,273
I've been to college. I've flown
around the globe a couple of times.
302
00:29:30,360 --> 00:29:32,510
You're telling me I have to hold my tongue
303
00:29:32,600 --> 00:29:34,955
till old Lady Doodah chooses to speak to me?
304
00:29:35,040 --> 00:29:37,918
- For the sake of peace.
- I'll give that old witch a piece...
305
00:29:38,000 --> 00:29:40,116
- Children present.
- She was rude.
306
00:29:40,200 --> 00:29:43,317
- They were my witnesses.
- Right, well.
307
00:29:43,400 --> 00:29:46,551
Oh, by the way, Harry, we've just had
confirmation that you-know-who
308
00:29:46,640 --> 00:29:49,393
will be here for the independence
handover brouhaha.
309
00:29:49,480 --> 00:29:53,075
- Who? Who is you-know-who?
- Hush-hush, I'm afraid.
310
00:29:53,160 --> 00:29:55,754
I'll let myself out,
thank you. Toodle-pip, all.
311
00:29:55,840 --> 00:29:58,070
Toodle-pip, Charles.
312
00:29:59,280 --> 00:30:01,748
Toodle-pip? Toodle-pip and hush-hush?
313
00:30:01,840 --> 00:30:05,116
Why do they all speak in
this snooty baby-talk all the time?
314
00:30:05,200 --> 00:30:08,636
Blah-blah this, ta-ta that,
hubbly-jubbly, hoity-toity,
315
00:30:08,720 --> 00:30:11,518
toodle-loo, ding-dong.
316
00:30:11,600 --> 00:30:13,636
Sounds like a load of old wah-wah.
317
00:31:00,040 --> 00:31:01,837
How very hubbly-jubbly.
318
00:31:03,080 --> 00:31:05,036
It's all just wah-wah to me.
319
00:31:08,160 --> 00:31:12,756
- She's all right, isn't she?
- Maybe. Maybe not.
320
00:31:12,840 --> 00:31:14,956
Happiest I've ever seen your old man.
321
00:31:15,040 --> 00:31:17,998
Maybe. Still feels weird, though.
322
00:31:18,080 --> 00:31:22,119
- Vernon, your mom wants you home.
- Thanks, Mrs Compton.
323
00:31:22,200 --> 00:31:24,794
- Call me Ruby.
- All right.
324
00:31:24,880 --> 00:31:26,632
Cheers, Ruby. See you, mate.
325
00:31:26,720 --> 00:31:29,439
Glad you didn't throw
those puppets away, then?
326
00:31:29,520 --> 00:31:32,114
- I'm sory.
- No problem.
327
00:31:32,200 --> 00:31:34,589
Can you remember the first time you did it?
328
00:31:34,680 --> 00:31:36,636
Did what?
329
00:31:38,080 --> 00:31:40,036
- I've stopped.
- Go on.
330
00:31:40,120 --> 00:31:42,395
I dare you. Just once.
331
00:31:45,960 --> 00:31:47,916
Come on.
332
00:32:05,200 --> 00:32:07,509
I'd say they're all out now, wouldn't you?
333
00:32:26,880 --> 00:32:29,075
Here comes the porcupine.
334
00:32:30,280 --> 00:32:32,714
I've had the most incredible idea.
335
00:32:33,760 --> 00:32:39,630
We might gift the Swazi nation with
a diddly-doozup swansong of our own.
336
00:32:40,680 --> 00:32:42,352
Plain English, please, Charles.
337
00:32:42,440 --> 00:32:45,716
I propose we mount a farewell musical
for Her Most Royal Highness.
338
00:32:46,560 --> 00:32:48,790
- What do you have in mind?
- Camelot.
339
00:32:50,720 --> 00:32:52,676
All those in favor say aye.
340
00:32:53,600 --> 00:32:56,592
- Can I be in it?
- Which royal highness?
341
00:32:56,680 --> 00:32:59,148
I'm afraid that's still hush-hush, Gwennie.
342
00:32:59,240 --> 00:33:01,879
The good news is Tobias
has agreed to produce the show
343
00:33:01,960 --> 00:33:03,632
once we get the tra-la-la from HQ.
344
00:33:03,720 --> 00:33:07,599
- On condition we can find singers.
- Tobias, of course we can.
345
00:33:07,680 --> 00:33:10,752
Dozen sings like a dream.
346
00:33:15,400 --> 00:33:17,391
I'm afraid it's for club members only.
347
00:33:17,920 --> 00:33:21,037
- Great. I'll propose him, then.
- Bravo. Hear, hear.
348
00:33:23,120 --> 00:33:25,076
I take it, then, I have your support?
349
00:33:26,400 --> 00:33:30,598
Hang on, you want to mount a medieval
musical for a minor British royal.
350
00:33:30,680 --> 00:33:33,990
Aren't we supposed to be celebrating
African independence here?
351
00:33:34,080 --> 00:33:37,470
- It's a symbolic gesture.
- What do you think, Dr Zim?
352
00:33:37,560 --> 00:33:40,472
Excellent idea.
A perfect antidote for Princess Margaret
353
00:33:40,560 --> 00:33:43,916
before she endures a whole day
of Swazi tribal dancing.
354
00:33:44,000 --> 00:33:45,752
Princess Margaret!
355
00:33:45,840 --> 00:33:47,717
Who told you it was Princess Margaret?
356
00:33:47,800 --> 00:33:49,756
You did, Charles.
357
00:33:54,280 --> 00:33:56,555
The other Mrs Compton is here.
358
00:34:03,440 --> 00:34:07,319
Don't wish to intrude. Charles. June.
359
00:34:08,160 --> 00:34:11,675
Sory I'm late. Excuse me, please.
360
00:34:17,280 --> 00:34:19,236
Where's my husband?
361
00:34:19,320 --> 00:34:20,878
- Come on.
- Mum.
362
00:34:20,960 --> 00:34:23,599
- Where's my husband?
- What are you doing here?
363
00:34:23,680 --> 00:34:24,954
I had no choice.
364
00:34:25,040 --> 00:34:28,350
I've been stuck at Shadler & Shadler,
trying to sort out visiting rights.
365
00:34:28,440 --> 00:34:31,193
- Where's my husband?
- You were Coming down next weekend.
366
00:34:31,280 --> 00:34:33,874
Is that what he told you? Damn liar.
367
00:34:33,960 --> 00:34:36,713
- Answer me.
- Shut up. Keep out of this.
368
00:34:36,800 --> 00:34:38,756
- Where is he?
- I warned you.
369
00:34:41,760 --> 00:34:43,352
I saw you, Mum.
370
00:34:44,040 --> 00:34:45,439
I beg your pardon?
371
00:34:45,520 --> 00:34:47,272
Two years ago with Uncle John.
372
00:34:48,920 --> 00:34:50,990
That night, in the car with him.
373
00:34:52,880 --> 00:34:54,836
You're imagining things, darling.
374
00:34:58,720 --> 00:35:00,199
I can explain...
375
00:35:08,320 --> 00:35:12,029
- Ralphie, are you all right?
- Hang on. Shadler & Shadler.
376
00:35:20,160 --> 00:35:23,789
"Our client has experienced
frustration and delay
377
00:35:23,880 --> 00:35:26,348
and the placing of obstacles
in the way of exercising
378
00:35:26,440 --> 00:35:28,112
her rights of access to her child.
379
00:35:28,200 --> 00:35:30,714
Your client has
wilfully misinterpreted attempts... "
380
00:35:30,800 --> 00:35:32,153
Bastard!
381
00:35:33,240 --> 00:35:35,196
I'm so sory, my boy.
382
00:35:37,000 --> 00:35:38,672
Why did Lauren choose to show up today?
383
00:35:38,760 --> 00:35:42,719
Don't you think for one moment
that I Don't understand...
384
00:35:45,760 --> 00:35:47,193
Sory I'm late.
385
00:35:49,960 --> 00:35:52,838
- So, what day is it today?
- It's Saturday, sweetie.
386
00:35:52,920 --> 00:35:56,993
Then it'll be the hen
with its arse in the air.
387
00:35:57,080 --> 00:36:00,868
- No, thanks, sweetie, I'm not hungry.
- Hey, honey, please.
388
00:36:00,960 --> 00:36:04,157
Why do we always have chicken
on Saturday and beef on Sunday?
389
00:36:04,240 --> 00:36:05,559
Regina can't read.
390
00:36:05,640 --> 00:36:08,757
Dolly-boy's mother taught her
to do a different meal
391
00:36:08,840 --> 00:36:11,354
for each day of the week. Clear?
392
00:36:11,440 --> 00:36:13,271
Got it? Comprende?
393
00:36:13,360 --> 00:36:16,432
- Then I'll teach her to read.
- The bloody hell you will.
394
00:36:16,520 --> 00:36:19,751
- What's wrong with you, Dad?
- Nothing wrong with me, sonny boy.
395
00:36:19,840 --> 00:36:22,195
- What is that supposed to mean?
- Listen to yourself.
396
00:36:22,280 --> 00:36:26,751
Look at yourself. You're nothing
but a bloody common ex-air hostess.
397
00:36:26,840 --> 00:36:28,478
Fuck you, Harry.
398
00:36:32,320 --> 00:36:33,548
Sorry.
399
00:36:40,080 --> 00:36:42,719
Quelle surprise! Hen
with its arse in the air.
400
00:36:42,800 --> 00:36:45,917
- Sit down.
- You knew Mum was Coming to see me.
401
00:36:46,000 --> 00:36:47,672
So why didn't you bloody tell me?
402
00:36:47,760 --> 00:36:50,513
- Shut up.
- No. You shut up.
403
00:36:51,240 --> 00:36:52,878
Where do you think you're going?
404
00:36:57,000 --> 00:36:58,956
Shut up!
405
00:37:21,160 --> 00:37:22,639
What happened?
406
00:37:22,720 --> 00:37:24,631
Nothing.
407
00:37:24,720 --> 00:37:27,029
- Well, what, then?
- Nothing.
408
00:37:27,120 --> 00:37:28,633
It doesn't matter.
409
00:37:29,120 --> 00:37:30,633
Where's Uncle John?
410
00:37:31,640 --> 00:37:33,596
Playing golf.
411
00:37:36,480 --> 00:37:38,152
So, what do you want to do today?
412
00:37:39,240 --> 00:37:41,800
Don't know. Maybe drop
me off at the club later?
413
00:37:43,400 --> 00:37:45,356
All right. What's on?
414
00:37:52,560 --> 00:37:55,791
- Hello, mate. What you doing here?
- Don't ask.
415
00:37:55,880 --> 00:37:58,075
Have a gander at this.
416
00:37:58,160 --> 00:38:01,357
They can't sing, can't
dance, all of them too old.
417
00:38:01,440 --> 00:38:03,795
- But we're not. Come on.
- No chance.
418
00:38:03,880 --> 00:38:05,950
Come on, you great dimbo.
419
00:38:06,040 --> 00:38:08,474
No, no, she won't do, Tobias.
420
00:38:08,560 --> 00:38:11,028
You can't have a royal played
by a commoner with no uneck.
421
00:38:11,120 --> 00:38:13,714
- At least she can sing, Lady H.
- Who's she?
422
00:38:13,800 --> 00:38:16,030
Monica. Taj Mahal's daughter.
423
00:38:16,120 --> 00:38:19,112
How can she be?
They look like different species.
424
00:38:20,800 --> 00:38:23,360
I say, do you mind?
We're trying to take notes here.
425
00:38:23,440 --> 00:38:27,035
Right, which of you little buggers
is gonna bleat for us first?
426
00:38:27,120 --> 00:38:28,553
- Go on.
- Not the one in stripes.
427
00:38:28,640 --> 00:38:32,838
- Go on, my boy.
- Come on, Ralph, hurry up.
428
00:38:35,160 --> 00:38:37,116
Bunny will give you the intro.
429
00:38:43,680 --> 00:38:51,155
All things bright and beautiful
All creatures great and small
430
00:38:51,240 --> 00:38:58,271
All things wise and wonderful
The Lord God made them all
431
00:38:58,960 --> 00:39:02,555
Each little flower that opens
432
00:39:02,640 --> 00:39:06,394
Each little bird that sings
433
00:39:06,480 --> 00:39:14,751
He made their glowing colours
He made their tiny wings
434
00:39:15,320 --> 00:39:22,192
All things bright and beautiful
All creatures great and small
435
00:39:23,160 --> 00:39:31,670
All things wise and wonderful
The Lord God made them all
436
00:39:33,320 --> 00:39:35,276
- Well done.
- Very good.
437
00:39:38,680 --> 00:39:41,399
- I did my audition.
- Fabulous. You get the part?
438
00:39:42,560 --> 00:39:46,235
- I have to wait and see.
- Over my dead bloody body.
439
00:39:46,320 --> 00:39:48,595
Where's the key?
440
00:39:48,680 --> 00:39:50,796
- Cat got your tongue?
- Haven't you had enough?
441
00:39:50,880 --> 00:39:54,509
Stop trying to control me all the
time, woman. Where's the bloody key?
442
00:39:54,600 --> 00:39:57,114
Please, Dad, I'm asking you really nicely.
443
00:39:57,200 --> 00:40:00,397
- Give me the bloody key.
- Please, Dad, Don't have any more.
444
00:40:01,200 --> 00:40:04,909
- Stay out of this. Get me some ice.
- Honey, let's have an early night.
445
00:40:05,000 --> 00:40:08,117
- Are you deaf?
- Stop it. Will you stop it?
446
00:40:08,200 --> 00:40:10,589
Please, Dad, Don't. Please Don't.
447
00:40:28,120 --> 00:40:31,669
I suppose you think this
is all so bloody easy.
448
00:40:31,760 --> 00:40:33,716
Well, wake up.
449
00:40:34,360 --> 00:40:37,670
Just you wait until you lose everything.
450
00:40:37,760 --> 00:40:40,069
And I mean everything.
451
00:40:40,160 --> 00:40:45,109
Wife, position, future.
The whole damn kit and caboodle.
452
00:40:45,200 --> 00:40:48,192
Come independence,
we're all on the scrapheap.
453
00:40:48,280 --> 00:40:50,555
- So wake up.
- Spare us the martyrdom, Dad.
454
00:40:50,640 --> 00:40:52,551
You're drunk.
455
00:40:52,640 --> 00:40:55,359
I've had enough of you,
you pompous little shit.
456
00:40:55,440 --> 00:40:59,194
- Forget about your fucking Camelot.
- And you're a liar. And a loser.
457
00:40:59,280 --> 00:41:01,840
- I'll knock your bloody block off.
- Stop it.
458
00:41:05,240 --> 00:41:09,119
Open this door. Open this bloody door.
459
00:41:09,200 --> 00:41:15,355
Open it. Open this door!
I'll knock your bloody block off!
460
00:41:15,440 --> 00:41:18,034
Open this door.
461
00:41:18,120 --> 00:41:20,634
Open this bloody door!
462
00:41:22,200 --> 00:41:28,309
Nothing that I said or did last night...
463
00:41:29,680 --> 00:41:31,636
...was the truth.
464
00:41:33,120 --> 00:41:35,076
None of it.
465
00:41:36,440 --> 00:41:38,396
That clear?
466
00:41:42,480 --> 00:41:46,075
- It's what you always say, Dad.
- It'll be different this time.
467
00:41:47,480 --> 00:41:49,835
- Is it because of me?
- No.
468
00:41:52,600 --> 00:41:54,511
- Me?
- No.
469
00:42:05,640 --> 00:42:07,596
I must go, I'm...
470
00:42:07,680 --> 00:42:09,636
I'm late for work.
471
00:42:13,600 --> 00:42:16,068
Did you mean what you said about Camelot?
472
00:42:16,160 --> 00:42:18,116
Of course not, no.
473
00:42:23,400 --> 00:42:25,231
I can't deal with this.
474
00:42:25,720 --> 00:42:27,153
I knew he drank but...
475
00:42:27,920 --> 00:42:29,876
Doesn't everyone out here?
476
00:42:32,400 --> 00:42:34,356
Not like him.
477
00:42:37,720 --> 00:42:40,792
He gets really legless
when no-one else is around except us.
478
00:43:01,880 --> 00:43:04,792
onward, Christian soldiers
479
00:43:04,880 --> 00:43:08,395
Marching as to war
480
00:43:08,920 --> 00:43:15,712
With the cross of Jesus going on before
481
00:43:16,840 --> 00:43:18,796
Bravo
482
00:43:20,120 --> 00:43:22,076
Charles.
483
00:43:27,480 --> 00:43:28,913
What?
484
00:43:29,000 --> 00:43:31,070
Who is this Dozen person?
485
00:43:31,960 --> 00:43:33,393
- Our gardener.
- What?
486
00:43:33,480 --> 00:43:35,710
A, He's not a club member.
487
00:43:35,800 --> 00:43:38,314
And B, Lancelot is supposed to be French.
488
00:43:38,400 --> 00:43:40,868
- French?
- This is an outrage. Tobias!
489
00:43:40,960 --> 00:43:43,599
A, Dozen is a club member as of today and B,
490
00:43:43,680 --> 00:43:46,194
he is the only man who can reach
the top notes and stay in tone.
491
00:43:46,280 --> 00:43:50,319
You will not have the last word on this,
Tobias Brown. That is my prerogative.
492
00:43:51,320 --> 00:43:53,276
Charles! Chop, chop.
493
00:43:54,800 --> 00:43:58,429
I can't believe I'm playing the Queen
and you're playing Mordred.
494
00:43:58,520 --> 00:43:59,839
Congratulations.
495
00:44:01,120 --> 00:44:03,156
- You too.
- Well done, Ralphie.
496
00:44:07,640 --> 00:44:09,437
I think I'm in love, Verun.
497
00:44:09,520 --> 00:44:13,399
- You haven't got a chance, matey.
- Watch me.
498
00:44:16,640 --> 00:44:18,995
I got the part. I got the part.
499
00:44:19,080 --> 00:44:20,991
I knew you would.
500
00:44:21,080 --> 00:44:25,198
- Dozen is going to be Lancelot.
- God, that'll teach the old bat.
501
00:44:25,280 --> 00:44:28,317
- Too right.
- Who sanctioned Dozen to audition?
502
00:44:28,400 --> 00:44:31,597
Oh, hush-hush, I'm afraid, Charles. Drink?
503
00:44:31,680 --> 00:44:35,593
That's not funny. I Don't think
you realise just what you've done.
504
00:44:35,680 --> 00:44:38,194
Lady Hardwick is throttling
for your blood right now.
505
00:44:38,280 --> 00:44:41,795
- Does Harry know about all this?
- Know about what?
506
00:44:41,880 --> 00:44:43,791
It's hush-hush, I'm afraid, honey.
507
00:44:46,560 --> 00:44:48,710
Attagirl, you're catching on.
508
00:44:48,800 --> 00:44:53,954
- Whose side are you on, Harry?
- OK, toodly-pip-pip-pip, Charles.
509
00:44:54,040 --> 00:44:59,831
- I got the part, Dad.
- Congratulations, Popeye. Well done.
510
00:44:59,920 --> 00:45:03,151
Can I stay at Verun's tonight?
We've got rehearsals. He lives closer.
511
00:45:03,240 --> 00:45:06,471
- So long as your mom doesn't mind.
- I'll grab my bag.
512
00:45:09,680 --> 00:45:11,636
Look and learn.
513
00:45:12,880 --> 00:45:14,279
Evening, Mrs Malaga.
514
00:45:14,360 --> 00:45:16,999
Has anyone ever told you
who you're the spitting image of?
515
00:45:17,080 --> 00:45:19,878
- No, love, who?
- Elizabeth Taylor.
516
00:45:19,960 --> 00:45:22,235
Scout's honour.
517
00:45:22,320 --> 00:45:25,869
Look, I know it's an 18,
but we're studying the book at school
518
00:45:25,960 --> 00:45:28,349
and wondered if you could make
an academic exception.
519
00:45:28,440 --> 00:45:30,112
Just this once. Please.
520
00:45:34,160 --> 00:45:36,116
These are on the House, love.
521
00:45:36,200 --> 00:45:37,997
But not a word to anyone.
522
00:45:40,120 --> 00:45:41,235
Thanks.
523
00:45:46,080 --> 00:45:49,117
- You're shameless, you are.
- Got us in, didn't it?
524
00:45:51,880 --> 00:45:54,030
That's disgusting. Where's Charlie's wife?
525
00:45:54,120 --> 00:45:57,112
- Home leave in England.
- How are we gonna get out?
526
00:45:57,200 --> 00:45:59,156
Crawl out, just before the end.
527
00:46:35,720 --> 00:46:37,676
- See you, Liz.
- Thanks, Liz.
528
00:46:40,880 --> 00:46:43,348
P is for pot.
529
00:46:43,440 --> 00:46:47,069
Hey, Ralph, come here.
We'll do some more later, Regina.
530
00:46:47,160 --> 00:46:48,479
Thank you.
531
00:46:48,560 --> 00:46:50,835
- Where were you last night?
- You know where.
532
00:46:50,920 --> 00:46:53,912
- Singing rehearsals.
- Singing rehearsals. Who was there?
533
00:46:54,000 --> 00:46:56,230
- The usual bunch.
- What did you sing?
534
00:46:56,320 --> 00:46:59,039
- Songs from the show.
- Don't lie. I know where you were.
535
00:47:01,880 --> 00:47:03,279
Sit down.
536
00:47:05,840 --> 00:47:09,799
- What's eating you? Dad drunk again?
- Answer my question. Don't be rude.
537
00:47:09,880 --> 00:47:12,519
What's it got to do with you?
You're not my real mother.
538
00:47:12,600 --> 00:47:15,637
Oh, oh, oh, I've been waiting for that one.
539
00:47:15,720 --> 00:47:17,915
- Someone saw you, Ralph.
- So?
540
00:47:18,000 --> 00:47:20,719
- So it's illegal.
- So what?
541
00:47:20,800 --> 00:47:24,713
- Think an X-flick compares with this House?
- I Don't give a damn about ratings.
542
00:47:24,800 --> 00:47:27,075
I won't stand being lied to.
543
00:47:27,160 --> 00:47:30,357
We all lie.
Everyone's bonking everyone round here.
544
00:47:30,440 --> 00:47:32,954
Because they're not divorced,
we pretend they're not.
545
00:47:33,040 --> 00:47:35,190
Like we pretend Dad's not a total drunk.
546
00:47:35,280 --> 00:47:37,350
- Bullshit.
- What would you know, anyway?
547
00:47:37,440 --> 00:47:39,635
You're nothing but a
common little air hostess.
548
00:47:43,200 --> 00:47:45,316
- What's going on?
- You deal with this.
549
00:47:47,720 --> 00:47:49,676
- She hit me.
- I'm sure she's very sory.
550
00:47:49,760 --> 00:47:52,354
May I remind you that Ruby is not the enemy?
551
00:47:52,920 --> 00:47:55,229
- She cares a great deal about you.
- You can talk.
552
00:47:55,320 --> 00:47:57,550
- You called her common.
- I did nothing of the sort.
553
00:47:57,640 --> 00:48:00,074
Yes, you did. You were drunk. Ask her.
554
00:48:00,160 --> 00:48:02,549
That's it. You're grounded. Go to your room.
555
00:48:13,040 --> 00:48:16,237
- You can't stay. Scarper.
- I can't. Let me in.
556
00:48:16,320 --> 00:48:20,438
- Vernon, are you still in there?
- No, this is a recording.
557
00:48:22,600 --> 00:48:25,592
- Since when did you smoke?
- Since forever.
558
00:48:26,880 --> 00:48:29,440
- Do you want some, or not?
- I'll fall off my bike.
559
00:48:30,400 --> 00:48:32,356
Suit yourself.
560
00:48:39,760 --> 00:48:42,274
- What'll happen now?
- Only everything.
561
00:48:43,960 --> 00:48:45,916
Ralph, give us it back.
562
00:48:54,240 --> 00:48:56,515
And what are you two doing here?
563
00:48:56,600 --> 00:49:00,354
- What's it look like, Charlie?
- Uncle Charles to you, thank you.
564
00:49:00,440 --> 00:49:02,908
- I am not a Charlie.
- You could've fooled me.
565
00:49:03,000 --> 00:49:05,389
- You're not my uncle, either.
- Stop laughing.
566
00:49:05,480 --> 00:49:08,756
- Aren't you both grounded?
- So it was you who grassed on us!
567
00:49:08,840 --> 00:49:10,910
Of course. Your pornographic behaviour
568
00:49:11,000 --> 00:49:12,672
is a consequence of seeing that filth.
569
00:49:12,760 --> 00:49:16,150
- You ought to be ashamed of yourselves.
- Not half as ashamed as we were of you.
570
00:49:16,240 --> 00:49:17,958
I beg your pardon!
571
00:49:18,400 --> 00:49:19,753
We saw you there.
572
00:49:19,840 --> 00:49:24,118
- With what's her uname?
- January, February...
573
00:49:24,200 --> 00:49:25,713
- March...
- April...
574
00:49:25,800 --> 00:49:27,472
- May...
- June. So what?
575
00:49:27,560 --> 00:49:31,951
So you're a married man, Charlie,
snogging another man's wife.
576
00:49:32,040 --> 00:49:35,510
- You want seeing to, you two.
- Don't beat us, sir, we're under age!
577
00:49:36,840 --> 00:49:39,195
You're late, late, late. Too late.
578
00:49:39,280 --> 00:49:40,998
- Sory, Tobias.
- It's not good enough.
579
00:49:41,080 --> 00:49:42,752
I can hardly inform Her Highness
580
00:49:42,840 --> 00:49:46,549
Mordred has forgotten his song and
dance because he's too late, can we?
581
00:49:46,640 --> 00:49:49,438
- I told you we shouldn't cast him.
- Please, Riva.
582
00:49:49,520 --> 00:49:51,351
Out, both of you!
583
00:49:51,440 --> 00:49:54,671
I'd already told them. Now, skedaddle!
584
00:49:54,760 --> 00:49:58,070
And I expect you to be word-perfect
and punctual next time.
585
00:49:58,880 --> 00:50:00,233
Understood?
586
00:50:05,760 --> 00:50:07,955
- Dance!
- All right.
587
00:50:09,440 --> 00:50:11,396
Ready, Gwen? Lovely, long neck.
588
00:50:12,280 --> 00:50:14,874
And one and two.
589
00:50:14,960 --> 00:50:17,349
Where the bloody hell
have you been gallivanting
590
00:50:17,440 --> 00:50:22,309
or have you forgotten that you've
been grounded until further notice,
591
00:50:22,400 --> 00:50:24,038
Tarzan?
592
00:50:24,120 --> 00:50:27,874
- At rehearsals.
- Rehearsals, my arse.
593
00:50:27,960 --> 00:50:30,520
You haven't even the decency
to apologise, have you?
594
00:50:30,600 --> 00:50:34,991
Prancing around like a
pansified little ponce.
595
00:50:35,080 --> 00:50:37,833
- Drop it. It doesn't matter.
- Yes, it does.
596
00:50:37,920 --> 00:50:40,718
Who the hell do you think you are?
Margot fucking Fonteyn?
597
00:50:40,800 --> 00:50:43,758
- No, your fucking son.
- Stop it, both of you.
598
00:50:43,840 --> 00:50:47,037
You stay out of this.
This is between me and him.
599
00:50:47,120 --> 00:50:48,838
I Don't care about an apology.
600
00:50:48,920 --> 00:50:54,756
Don't you ever use that language
in front of me again, young man.
601
00:50:55,520 --> 00:50:58,114
- That understood?
- Yes, sir.
602
00:50:58,200 --> 00:51:01,749
Loud and fucking clearly.
And you're drunk, just for a change.
603
00:51:01,840 --> 00:51:04,479
- What the hell is wrong with you?
- You stay right here.
604
00:51:04,560 --> 00:51:06,760
You stay where you fucking
are. I'm outta here.
605
00:51:06,761 --> 00:51:08,373
Come back, I'm talking to you.
606
00:51:11,920 --> 00:51:16,755
Mark my words.
This time, I'll knock your bloody block off.
607
00:51:17,600 --> 00:51:19,795
Stay where you are.
608
00:51:19,880 --> 00:51:21,836
Ruby.
609
00:51:22,400 --> 00:51:24,356
Ruby, open this door.
610
00:51:27,920 --> 00:51:29,876
Open up this bloody door!
611
00:51:33,280 --> 00:51:35,236
Bastard.
612
00:51:52,000 --> 00:51:54,230
What do you think you're doing?
613
00:52:12,640 --> 00:52:15,598
Stay where you are. Fucking fairy.
614
00:52:17,080 --> 00:52:20,072
Not so bloody smart now, are you?
615
00:52:22,400 --> 00:52:24,311
Go on. Do it.
616
00:52:26,720 --> 00:52:27,869
Shoot.
617
00:52:39,880 --> 00:52:41,711
Go on.
618
00:52:52,680 --> 00:52:54,636
Ralph.
619
00:53:20,280 --> 00:53:22,236
Come on, please, Ralphie, get in.
620
00:53:32,200 --> 00:53:35,795
Come on, please, Ralphie.
He is desperate to talk to you.
621
00:53:40,440 --> 00:53:43,955
- I'm scared of him.
- Don't be scared. Come on, get in.
622
00:53:52,040 --> 00:53:55,191
That monster isn't
really him, you know that.
623
00:53:56,120 --> 00:53:59,954
- Then why do you stay?
- I love him. I love him.
624
00:54:00,040 --> 00:54:04,795
I love your dad with every fibre
of my being. I can't help it.
625
00:54:04,880 --> 00:54:07,075
And I know you do, too.
626
00:54:07,160 --> 00:54:09,196
Why does he do this to us?
627
00:54:09,280 --> 00:54:12,477
Honestly, you know,
I Don't think he can help himself.
628
00:54:12,560 --> 00:54:15,552
But I can. I'm getting out of here
the day I finish school.
629
00:54:16,200 --> 00:54:20,637
That may be, Ralphie, but you never
really get away, you know.
630
00:54:20,720 --> 00:54:25,032
- It's called family.
- Maybe. Maybe not.
631
00:54:26,520 --> 00:54:29,316
It's just weird that every time my
mother makes any kind of contact,
632
00:54:29,317 --> 00:54:30,800
he goes ballistic.
633
00:55:02,560 --> 00:55:04,516
Ruby told me what happened.
634
00:55:06,680 --> 00:55:08,591
I Don't remember a bloody thing.
635
00:55:11,480 --> 00:55:13,630
I'm so terribly sory, Popeye.
636
00:55:15,160 --> 00:55:18,391
I'm begging you for one last chance.
637
00:55:19,880 --> 00:55:21,836
Please, Popeye.
638
00:55:22,560 --> 00:55:24,994
What do you say?
639
00:55:25,080 --> 00:55:27,036
Nothing to say.
640
00:55:28,680 --> 00:55:30,636
Please, Popeye.
641
00:55:32,640 --> 00:55:33,993
Please.
642
00:55:54,040 --> 00:55:56,315
Come in. So...
643
00:55:57,400 --> 00:56:00,392
- How can I help you?
- I Don't know how to say this.
644
00:56:00,480 --> 00:56:03,631
Don't you wory. There isn't much
I haven't seen or heard in here.
645
00:56:04,520 --> 00:56:07,557
I think... I think my dad's an alcoholic.
646
00:56:10,760 --> 00:56:13,558
Look, most of us have a bit
of a tipple from time to time.
647
00:56:13,640 --> 00:56:16,916
- How much is a tipple?
- Varies. The odd bottle.
648
00:56:17,000 --> 00:56:18,956
How about a bottle of Scotch per day?
649
00:56:21,320 --> 00:56:23,276
I had no idea.
650
00:56:24,720 --> 00:56:26,517
He tried to shoot me.
651
00:56:32,480 --> 00:56:35,711
- When did this start?
- The night my mother left.
652
00:56:37,200 --> 00:56:39,156
- Can you help me?
- Of course I will, but...
653
00:56:39,240 --> 00:56:41,549
no-one else must know about this.
654
00:56:41,640 --> 00:56:45,110
He's too highly respected in this
country for anyone else to find out.
655
00:56:48,680 --> 00:56:50,636
Thank you.
656
00:57:11,440 --> 00:57:14,637
That you, my boy? Don't get up.
657
00:57:14,720 --> 00:57:16,676
Where's Dad?
658
00:57:16,760 --> 00:57:21,515
He's at the hospital. He's had to see
Dr Zim about something or other.
659
00:57:22,560 --> 00:57:24,630
What's the matter?
660
00:57:24,720 --> 00:57:26,790
I'm sory to have to say this.
661
00:57:29,520 --> 00:57:31,397
But Ruby's leaving.
662
00:57:32,400 --> 00:57:33,753
What do you mean?
663
00:57:33,840 --> 00:57:37,833
She's staying with me at the moment
till she gets herself sorted out.
664
00:57:37,920 --> 00:57:40,753
She asked me to tell you
because she's just too upset
665
00:57:40,840 --> 00:57:43,638
to see you herself at the moment.
666
00:57:43,720 --> 00:57:46,359
I've just come to collect
the rest of her things.
667
00:57:47,360 --> 00:57:50,158
- This is all my fault.
- Not at all.
668
00:57:50,240 --> 00:57:53,118
It's nothing to do with you. Come here.
669
00:58:00,120 --> 00:58:02,076
Ah, my angel boy.
670
00:58:23,680 --> 00:58:26,558
Dr Zim has prescribed these anti-booze pills
671
00:58:26,640 --> 00:58:30,519
which will make me sick as a dog
if I so much as touch a drop.
672
00:58:30,600 --> 00:58:34,229
- How did he find out?
- Suppose Ruby told him before she left.
673
00:58:36,600 --> 00:58:39,751
- What are we going to do, Dad?
- I Don't know.
674
00:58:39,840 --> 00:58:43,753
Your mother has asked me
for a second chance.
675
00:58:43,840 --> 00:58:45,558
But you're married to Ruby.
676
00:58:46,640 --> 00:58:49,996
Yes. Yes, I know, Popeye, but...
677
00:58:51,600 --> 00:58:54,239
...it doesn't look as
if she'll be Coming back.
678
00:58:55,560 --> 00:58:59,269
She says the situation is too... conflicted.
679
00:59:00,360 --> 00:59:03,432
So for once, I think
your mother may be right.
680
00:59:04,840 --> 00:59:08,753
And I Don't want to stand in the way
of that possibility.
681
00:59:09,640 --> 00:59:12,757
But only if you agree, of course.
682
00:59:12,840 --> 00:59:16,389
- What am I supposed to say?
- Yes.
683
00:59:16,480 --> 00:59:18,198
If that's what you want.
684
00:59:25,240 --> 00:59:27,196
Where is she?
685
00:59:58,880 --> 01:00:01,235
I've missed you so much.
686
01:00:06,400 --> 01:00:10,313
You've really done a remarkable job.
This looks wonderful.
687
01:00:10,400 --> 01:00:12,277
Thank you.
688
01:00:12,360 --> 01:00:14,157
Whose idea was all this?
689
01:00:14,840 --> 01:00:15,989
Ruby's.
690
01:00:17,080 --> 01:00:19,036
But everyone helped out.
691
01:00:23,160 --> 01:00:25,276
Do you still use the puppets I gave you?
692
01:00:25,360 --> 01:00:26,395
Of course.
693
01:00:30,120 --> 01:00:33,078
- You must do me a show some time.
- OK.
694
01:00:36,400 --> 01:00:38,152
I'll look forward to that.
695
01:00:49,240 --> 01:00:51,196
This looks lovely.
696
01:00:53,280 --> 01:00:55,236
Who did all this?
697
01:00:58,280 --> 01:00:59,952
Thank you.
698
01:01:06,960 --> 01:01:10,475
Thank you, Regina. What have we here?
699
01:01:10,560 --> 01:01:12,118
Spaghetti, madam.
700
01:01:13,440 --> 01:01:14,953
I'm learning to read.
701
01:01:19,080 --> 01:01:22,550
Could you ask your mother to pass the salt,
please?
702
01:01:52,120 --> 01:01:54,076
Don't move.
703
01:02:12,200 --> 01:02:15,510
Stay as sweet as you are
704
01:02:17,040 --> 01:02:23,115
Don't let a thing ever change you
705
01:02:24,600 --> 01:02:27,797
Stay as sweet as you are
706
01:02:28,920 --> 01:02:34,950
Don't let a soul rearange you
707
01:02:36,480 --> 01:02:40,234
Don't ever lose
708
01:02:40,960 --> 01:02:45,033
All the charm you poses
709
01:02:47,360 --> 01:02:50,557
Your lovelines
710
01:02:51,800 --> 01:02:58,319
Darling the way you say yes
711
01:02:59,680 --> 01:03:03,116
Stay as sweet as you are
712
01:03:04,000 --> 01:03:06,309
Discreet as you are
713
01:03:07,520 --> 01:03:10,318
You're divine dear
714
01:03:11,680 --> 01:03:15,355
Stay as grand as you are
715
01:03:15,440 --> 01:03:21,754
And as you are
tell me that you're mine dear
716
01:03:23,360 --> 01:03:25,316
June.
717
01:03:30,640 --> 01:03:32,471
I spy with my little eye.
718
01:03:32,560 --> 01:03:35,154
- Hello, Ralphie.
- Auntie June.
719
01:03:35,240 --> 01:03:38,232
- Morning, ma'am.
- Haven't seen you at rehearsals lately.
720
01:03:38,320 --> 01:03:40,276
I've had to miss a few.
721
01:03:41,280 --> 01:03:43,236
Where's the American?
722
01:03:44,200 --> 01:03:46,156
Good morning, ladies.
723
01:03:49,160 --> 01:03:52,197
Ralph, you must come riding some time.
724
01:03:52,280 --> 01:03:55,238
- I'd like to, thank you.
- Toodle-pip. Trot on.
725
01:03:58,040 --> 01:03:59,598
I'm not invisible, you know.
726
01:04:00,760 --> 01:04:04,230
No, you're a divorcee, which is far worse.
727
01:04:06,920 --> 01:04:08,319
Excuse me.
728
01:04:09,560 --> 01:04:10,709
We're leaving.
729
01:04:25,200 --> 01:04:27,077
How dare they?
730
01:04:27,160 --> 01:04:29,116
How dare they blank me?
731
01:04:30,520 --> 01:04:32,875
And then judge me.
732
01:04:32,960 --> 01:04:36,350
None of them has got
a monogamous bone in their bodies.
733
01:04:45,640 --> 01:04:47,392
What was I supposed to have done?
734
01:04:47,480 --> 01:04:51,598
I honestly thought giving your father
custody was the kindest option.
735
01:04:51,680 --> 01:04:53,432
You'd be at home, have your friends.
736
01:04:53,520 --> 01:04:58,150
Now I'm being vilified like some...
scarlet woman.
737
01:05:00,400 --> 01:05:03,472
My God, I've been a damn fool to
think I could ever come back in here
738
01:05:03,560 --> 01:05:06,552
and do battle with that coven of bitches.
739
01:05:07,440 --> 01:05:10,000
What did Uncle John have that Dad didn't?
740
01:05:12,640 --> 01:05:14,471
He says what he means.
741
01:05:14,560 --> 01:05:17,757
Unlike every damned Englishman.
742
01:05:17,840 --> 01:05:20,752
He hasn't got an ironic
or effete bone in his body.
743
01:05:20,840 --> 01:05:23,229
- Is he going back to Auntie Gwen?
- Don't be daft.
744
01:05:23,320 --> 01:05:25,276
He's been transfered to Peru.
745
01:05:36,040 --> 01:05:37,951
Please Don't look at me.
746
01:06:09,200 --> 01:06:11,156
Come back.
747
01:06:12,360 --> 01:06:14,032
Please Come back.
748
01:06:15,440 --> 01:06:17,396
So that's why she asked to come back.
749
01:06:20,480 --> 01:06:22,436
- Where is she?
- Who cares?
750
01:06:28,520 --> 01:06:29,873
Harry.
751
01:06:32,720 --> 01:06:35,280
- I've lost Ralph.
- You most certainly have.
752
01:06:35,360 --> 01:06:37,920
- What? What do you mean?
- Why didn't you tell me?
753
01:06:38,000 --> 01:06:40,309
Come on, Don't play games.
754
01:06:40,400 --> 01:06:43,278
Is he here? Where is he?
755
01:06:43,360 --> 01:06:45,316
Why Don't you try Peru?
756
01:06:49,520 --> 01:06:51,272
- I see.
- Do you?
757
01:06:51,360 --> 01:06:54,272
Pity I didn't. I think
it best that you leave.
758
01:06:55,400 --> 01:06:57,311
- Immediately.
- Don't be ridiculous.
759
01:06:57,400 --> 01:06:59,470
God, you've changed your tune, haven't you?
760
01:06:59,560 --> 01:07:01,596
Not that long ago, you
were begging me to stay.
761
01:07:01,680 --> 01:07:03,477
Just leave. Please.
762
01:07:03,560 --> 01:07:06,393
- I need to speak to Ralph.
- He doesn't want to see you.
763
01:07:06,480 --> 01:07:09,153
- Don't be stupid. I'm his mother.
- Were.
764
01:07:11,800 --> 01:07:14,030
Harry, let me in! Regina.
765
01:07:15,440 --> 01:07:17,396
Regina, let me in.
766
01:07:21,880 --> 01:07:23,836
Let me in.
767
01:08:13,000 --> 01:08:14,956
How many friends do you have?
768
01:08:17,400 --> 01:08:22,190
My father claimed that if you had
five true friends in your life,
769
01:08:22,280 --> 01:08:24,236
you were a rich man.
770
01:08:26,320 --> 01:08:30,552
- Who do you truly love?
- You make it sound so easy, Popeye.
771
01:08:35,040 --> 01:08:37,759
It is easy, Dad. Just call her.
772
01:08:38,840 --> 01:08:40,193
Who?
773
01:08:40,280 --> 01:08:41,998
Who do you think?
774
01:09:04,560 --> 01:09:07,393
He was this famous trumpet mar
from out Chicago way
775
01:09:07,480 --> 01:09:09,596
He had a boogie style that no-one else
776
01:09:09,680 --> 01:09:11,910
- I'm so sory.
- Me too.
777
01:09:12,400 --> 01:09:15,551
But then his number came up
and he was gone with the draft
778
01:09:15,640 --> 01:09:17,870
He's in the army now a-blowing reveille
779
01:09:17,960 --> 01:09:20,235
He's the boogie-woogie bugle boy
of Company B
780
01:09:20,320 --> 01:09:22,595
- Quits?
- Quits.
781
01:09:24,640 --> 01:09:26,676
Yes, I was an air hostess...
782
01:09:27,640 --> 01:09:31,189
Just long enough to learn how to deal
with very difficult passengers.
783
01:09:31,280 --> 01:09:35,796
I hate to intrude, folks, but we do
need Mordred back in rehearsals.
784
01:09:35,880 --> 01:09:37,836
Up to Ralph, right?
785
01:09:39,920 --> 01:09:41,592
- Are you sure?
- Damn sure.
786
01:09:41,680 --> 01:09:43,636
Come on, then. Can we take the car?
787
01:09:49,160 --> 01:09:51,913
He makes the company jump
when he plays reveille
788
01:09:52,000 --> 01:09:54,639
He's the boogie-woogie bugle boy
of Company B
789
01:09:57,720 --> 01:10:00,917
I'd like to apologise for calling you
by your first name, Uncle Charles.
790
01:10:01,000 --> 01:10:02,672
Gratefully accepted.
791
01:10:02,760 --> 01:10:05,752
When you turn 16,
I shall invite you to drop the "Uncle".
792
01:10:06,120 --> 01:10:08,236
Thank you, sir.
793
01:10:08,320 --> 01:10:11,517
That is it.
We simply cannot wait any longer, June.
794
01:10:11,600 --> 01:10:15,673
- Lancelot will have to walk on.
- Don't shout. You'll scare him.
795
01:10:16,840 --> 01:10:19,513
That is it. Out now.
796
01:10:19,600 --> 01:10:23,036
- I warned you about that horse.
- Excuse me, Lady Riva.
797
01:10:23,120 --> 01:10:25,680
I shall repair to the bar
for approximately 177 minutes.
798
01:10:25,760 --> 01:10:28,797
- Do I make myself clear?
- Well, I say.
799
01:10:28,880 --> 01:10:31,519
- I can't work like this.
- It'll be so bad it'll be brilliant.
800
01:10:31,600 --> 01:10:35,957
I heard that. Right, you lot, take
it from the top. Bunny, our note.
801
01:10:36,040 --> 01:10:37,871
One, two, three, four.
802
01:10:37,960 --> 01:10:39,109
Camelot
803
01:10:39,600 --> 01:10:41,238
Camelot
804
01:10:41,320 --> 01:10:43,276
I know it sounds a bit bizare
805
01:10:44,880 --> 01:10:47,189
But in Camelot
806
01:10:47,280 --> 01:10:49,032
Camelot
807
01:10:49,120 --> 01:10:50,951
That's how conditions are
808
01:10:51,040 --> 01:10:53,429
- Hi, guys, how were rehearsals?
- Brilliant.
809
01:10:53,520 --> 01:10:56,353
- Tobias threw a fit.
- What else is new?
810
01:10:56,440 --> 01:10:58,556
- Where's Dad?
- He didn't pick you up?
811
01:10:58,640 --> 01:11:02,269
- We came back on my bike.
- Maybe he had a flat tyre.
812
01:11:02,360 --> 01:11:04,715
OK, I'll go call the club.
813
01:11:04,800 --> 01:11:06,836
- I better get going.
- Thanks, Verun.
814
01:11:06,920 --> 01:11:08,239
See you, mate.
815
01:11:14,720 --> 01:11:16,676
He's not there.
816
01:11:18,600 --> 01:11:21,512
He also refused to take
his pill this morning.
817
01:11:22,400 --> 01:11:24,868
I knew I should've made him
swallow the damn thing.
818
01:11:28,120 --> 01:11:30,759
Just act normal, OK?
819
01:11:30,840 --> 01:11:32,796
No matter what, OK?
820
01:11:35,440 --> 01:11:37,396
Ah, the welComing committee.
821
01:11:37,480 --> 01:11:40,358
Perfect timing.
Don't you want to know where I've been?
822
01:11:40,440 --> 01:11:42,158
Where have you been?
823
01:11:42,240 --> 01:11:47,075
A post-independence educational
strategy and budgeting meeting,
824
01:11:47,160 --> 01:11:49,116
if you really want to know.
825
01:11:50,600 --> 01:11:52,591
Translation, please.
826
01:11:54,720 --> 01:11:56,631
They've asked me to stay on.
827
01:11:59,480 --> 01:12:01,994
Honorary advisor, full salary, full perks.
828
01:12:02,080 --> 01:12:05,231
All post-independence.
What do you think of that?
829
01:12:05,320 --> 01:12:07,880
- You bastard.
- Language.
830
01:12:08,600 --> 01:12:10,591
How could you do that to us?
831
01:12:10,680 --> 01:12:13,353
And you thought I was back
on the old you-know-what.
832
01:12:13,440 --> 01:12:15,749
Oh, you bastard.
833
01:12:16,720 --> 01:12:19,473
- But this is fabulous news, honey.
- Yes.
834
01:12:19,560 --> 01:12:21,516
My God, oh, my God!
835
01:12:24,760 --> 01:12:28,036
My mother wants to know which night
you've booked to see Camelot.
836
01:12:28,120 --> 01:12:30,270
First night. She can go
see any of the others.
837
01:12:30,360 --> 01:12:32,828
- Are you sure?
- Absolutely.
838
01:12:35,600 --> 01:12:37,556
I am so proud of you.
839
01:12:40,960 --> 01:12:42,996
Can you help me with these buttons?
840
01:12:43,080 --> 01:12:46,072
Hurry up, you're unearly on. I can't wait.
841
01:12:46,160 --> 01:12:48,116
Let me help you.
842
01:12:53,200 --> 01:12:54,599
Sory.
843
01:13:09,920 --> 01:13:11,273
Quick.
844
01:13:11,360 --> 01:13:13,316
You jammy bastard, how'd you do it?
845
01:13:13,400 --> 01:13:15,152
Charisma, my man.
846
01:13:15,240 --> 01:13:17,390
Smile as if your lives depend on it.
847
01:13:17,480 --> 01:13:20,870
Let's see you all curtsy deeply...
848
01:13:21,640 --> 01:13:26,031
...as Her Most Royal Highness
parades past you.
849
01:13:26,120 --> 01:13:28,076
Yes, Uncle Charles.
850
01:13:28,160 --> 01:13:33,234
It's going to be a triumph.
A T-R-I-U-M-P-H, triumph.
851
01:13:50,160 --> 01:13:53,357
- It's like National Geographic.
- Only better.
852
01:13:54,160 --> 01:13:55,991
Countdown, my man.
853
01:13:56,080 --> 01:13:59,755
- Know where you're going next yet?
- Yeah, only bloody Bahrain.
854
01:13:59,840 --> 01:14:01,796
- Where's that?
- Exactly.
855
01:14:48,840 --> 01:14:50,990
- Come on, we can't be late, Dad.
- Come in.
856
01:14:51,080 --> 01:14:53,640
- Ruby.
- Yeah, yeah. Relax, I'm Coming.
857
01:14:53,720 --> 01:14:56,439
- Dad, I have a big favor to ask.
- Ask away, Popeye.
858
01:14:58,120 --> 01:15:00,634
Promise me you won't... you-know-what.
859
01:15:02,320 --> 01:15:03,992
- Thank you.
- Had to be done.
860
01:15:04,080 --> 01:15:07,117
- He knows I didn't call Dr Zim.
- That was very brave of you.
861
01:15:07,200 --> 01:15:10,556
There's something you can do for me. Here.
862
01:15:10,640 --> 01:15:13,677
- I can't, Dad.
- There's no such thing as can't.
863
01:15:14,800 --> 01:15:17,712
- Only one thing we want.
- I know, Popeye.
864
01:15:17,800 --> 01:15:19,791
I promise you, I won't let you down.
865
01:15:19,880 --> 01:15:22,633
By the way, good luck tonight.
866
01:15:24,600 --> 01:15:27,910
- How do I look?
- Only fit to meet a princess.
867
01:15:28,000 --> 01:15:29,956
Right answer.
868
01:15:32,040 --> 01:15:33,996
God, you look beautiful.
869
01:15:40,240 --> 01:15:42,708
- Oh, yeah.
- Oh, ya.
870
01:15:42,800 --> 01:15:44,995
- Come on.
- Now concentrate
871
01:15:45,080 --> 01:15:48,390
And stay calm.
You're all going to be magical.
872
01:15:49,960 --> 01:15:53,077
Her Royal Highness is on her way.
873
01:16:08,160 --> 01:16:09,309
Shit.
874
01:16:09,400 --> 01:16:11,834
- Let's see.
- Please Don't, Auntie Gwen.
875
01:16:11,920 --> 01:16:13,876
Come on, Ralphie.
876
01:16:17,040 --> 01:16:18,473
Shit.
877
01:16:28,200 --> 01:16:31,351
Now, it's all up to you.
878
01:16:31,960 --> 01:16:35,270
Break a leg. I'll be
rooting for you. In the bar.
879
01:16:35,360 --> 01:16:38,477
Thank you. See you later.
Break a leg. Good luck.
880
01:16:42,360 --> 01:16:44,555
Where's Gwen? Where is Gwen?
881
01:16:47,880 --> 01:16:50,633
- Out for the count.
- My God.
882
01:16:50,720 --> 01:16:52,790
Run to the bar and fetch Tobias quickly.
883
01:16:53,800 --> 01:16:57,952
- Philip, ice and black coffee fast.
- What the hell are you doing here?
884
01:16:58,040 --> 01:17:00,998
- Guinevere's a goner.
- God, not tonight of all nights.
885
01:17:05,160 --> 01:17:06,991
For heaven's sake.
886
01:17:07,960 --> 01:17:11,396
Come on, girl. Come on, Gwen.
887
01:17:11,480 --> 01:17:14,153
Come on, girl. Come on.
888
01:17:14,240 --> 01:17:16,276
I told you she was too
common to play a queen.
889
01:17:16,360 --> 01:17:18,749
She's proved common
beyond commones incarnate.
890
01:17:18,840 --> 01:17:21,035
Shut up, Riva.
891
01:17:21,120 --> 01:17:26,274
Common I may be,
but you can't act, you can't cook,
892
01:17:26,360 --> 01:17:30,592
you can't even keep His Lordship's
cock out of everybody else's clumps.
893
01:17:32,040 --> 01:17:33,996
Ice bucket, quick.
894
01:17:36,600 --> 01:17:39,672
- Get her on stage.
- That's better.
895
01:17:43,920 --> 01:17:45,831
Give her some air.
896
01:17:45,920 --> 01:17:49,276
No matter the pain
he ought to be unwinceable
897
01:17:49,800 --> 01:17:53,156
Impossible deeds should be his daily fare
898
01:17:53,640 --> 01:18:01,558
But where in the world, is there in
the world a man so extraordinaire?
899
01:18:04,400 --> 01:18:07,756
C'est moi, c'est moi
I'm forced to admit
900
01:18:07,840 --> 01:18:10,718
'Tiss I, I humbly reply
901
01:18:10,800 --> 01:18:13,394
That mortal who these marvels can do
902
01:18:13,480 --> 01:18:15,835
C'est moi, c'est moi, 'tiss I
903
01:18:17,640 --> 01:18:19,596
Well done, Gwen.
904
01:18:21,360 --> 01:18:24,591
It's a triumph, a medieval triumph.
905
01:18:24,680 --> 01:18:26,910
No, it's not, it's a bloody disaster.
906
01:18:27,000 --> 01:18:28,877
- I beg your pardon?
- What do you mean?
907
01:18:28,960 --> 01:18:30,916
Her Royal Highness has departed.
908
01:18:31,000 --> 01:18:33,389
- But it's only the interval.
- Precisely.
909
01:18:33,480 --> 01:18:36,836
- Claims she has an upset stomach.
- Probably the local water.
910
01:18:36,920 --> 01:18:38,876
- Water, my arse.
- Tobias.
911
01:18:41,280 --> 01:18:45,114
- I'm very, very upset.
- Oh, honestly.
912
01:18:56,000 --> 01:18:57,718
Camelot
913
01:18:58,920 --> 01:19:00,273
Camelot
914
01:19:00,360 --> 01:19:02,316
Yes, Camelot, my boy.
915
01:19:04,400 --> 01:19:08,393
Where once it never rained till after sndown
916
01:19:08,480 --> 01:19:12,234
By 8.00 am, the morning fog had flown
917
01:19:13,000 --> 01:19:17,835
Don't let it be forgot
that once there was a spot
918
01:19:17,920 --> 01:19:24,712
For one brief, shining moment
that was known as
919
01:19:24,800 --> 01:19:27,997
Camelot
920
01:19:28,080 --> 01:19:30,719
Run, boy! Run!
921
01:19:50,760 --> 01:19:54,116
You were just so great,
it was just so great.
922
01:19:57,880 --> 01:19:59,836
Well done, Ralphie.
923
01:20:01,800 --> 01:20:03,756
You were just fabulous, Popeye.
924
01:20:05,760 --> 01:20:06,715
Marvellous.
925
01:20:06,800 --> 01:20:10,031
Fancy the royal personage leaving
in the interval like that.
926
01:20:10,120 --> 01:20:12,509
- I know.
- Food poisoning, my arse.
927
01:20:13,640 --> 01:20:15,995
Wait till she gets a dose of tribal dancing.
928
01:20:18,640 --> 01:20:20,198
My darling.
929
01:20:21,280 --> 01:20:23,236
My son did very well, didn't he?
930
01:20:30,480 --> 01:20:33,790
Hi, I'm Ruby. He was great.
931
01:20:34,840 --> 01:20:36,796
Aren't you going to Peru?
932
01:20:38,360 --> 01:20:39,554
Come on.
933
01:20:39,640 --> 01:20:42,279
- I thought you were Coming tomorow.
- I wouldn't miss this.
934
01:20:42,360 --> 01:20:44,749
- You've got the pool party, right?
- Wrong.
935
01:20:44,840 --> 01:20:49,311
Just because you married my husband faster
than a sandwich doesn't give you rights.
936
01:20:49,400 --> 01:20:51,118
Don't ever try to turn my son against me.
937
01:20:51,200 --> 01:20:55,034
- You Coming, superstar?
- I can't, Mum. I'm really sorry.
938
01:20:56,600 --> 01:21:00,388
- I've come all this way to see you.
- Come on, mate, let's go.
939
01:21:00,480 --> 01:21:02,436
You guys stay as long as you like.
940
01:21:04,160 --> 01:21:06,071
Cuddle, puddle.
941
01:21:12,040 --> 01:21:14,395
- Thank you for saving me.
- My pleasure.
942
01:21:18,400 --> 01:21:22,029
Bye-bye, Swaziland!
943
01:21:23,800 --> 01:21:29,750
We're all buggered
All busted and bewildered
944
01:21:29,840 --> 01:21:36,188
We've all got to get our arses out of here
945
01:21:36,280 --> 01:21:41,559
They Don't want us to rule or cause a rumpus
946
01:21:41,640 --> 01:21:47,715
They just want to kick our arses out of here
947
01:21:48,800 --> 01:21:54,397
We're all buggered
All busted and bewildered
948
01:21:58,760 --> 01:22:00,716
Take it off!
949
01:22:39,480 --> 01:22:41,277
This is it.
950
01:22:59,560 --> 01:23:02,552
- She's minute.
- Isn't she just marvellous?
951
01:23:13,640 --> 01:23:17,428
- Not quite Cheltenham, is it?
- I wish my mum was alive to see me.
952
01:23:57,760 --> 01:24:03,278
No more lah-di-dah, hoity-toity,
hooty-snooty, wah-wah any more.
953
01:24:04,680 --> 01:24:07,478
- Wasn't that just incredible?
- Incredible.
954
01:24:08,200 --> 01:24:11,192
What do you think this little piece
of metal is worth, Popeye?
955
01:24:12,160 --> 01:24:13,991
A big pile of money?
956
01:24:14,280 --> 01:24:16,271
No.
957
01:24:16,360 --> 01:24:19,511
Just a lifetime, old boy. My lifetime.
958
01:24:20,600 --> 01:24:22,477
- You deserve it, Dad.
- Bollocks.
959
01:24:22,560 --> 01:24:25,677
- We are so proud of you.
- Bollocks.
960
01:24:44,400 --> 01:24:46,436
Goddamn it.
961
01:24:46,520 --> 01:24:50,149
I can't feel... I can't feel my bloody arm.
962
01:24:52,120 --> 01:24:55,317
Go and lie down, honey.
I'm gonna call Dr Zim.
963
01:24:55,400 --> 01:24:58,551
- Come on.
- No, I'm fine, really.
964
01:25:01,160 --> 01:25:03,879
Don't panic. I'm fine, really.
965
01:25:06,200 --> 01:25:08,236
He won't be able to speak for much longer.
966
01:25:08,320 --> 01:25:10,754
Pressure on the brain will be too great.
967
01:25:10,840 --> 01:25:13,229
Therefore, I propose
that we operate immediately,
968
01:25:13,320 --> 01:25:15,629
try to remove the tumour,
969
01:25:15,720 --> 01:25:18,234
buy him a little more time.
970
01:25:18,320 --> 01:25:20,515
What are you saying, Dr Zim?
971
01:25:20,600 --> 01:25:23,398
At best, we are talking about
just another couple of months.
972
01:25:23,480 --> 01:25:25,152
To what?
973
01:25:27,200 --> 01:25:29,156
To live.
974
01:27:00,200 --> 01:27:03,829
So... we've decided to join forces.
975
01:27:03,920 --> 01:27:06,673
- What about your wife?
- Bolted, I'm afraid.
976
01:27:07,560 --> 01:27:08,913
Staying in Blighty.
977
01:27:09,000 --> 01:27:11,070
You'll never guess where we're headed.
978
01:27:11,160 --> 01:27:14,197
Rhodesia. Isn't that something?
979
01:27:14,840 --> 01:27:18,037
I wonder, would you tell me exactly
whereabouts...?
980
01:27:18,120 --> 01:27:21,237
- She doesn't know.
- Sory, Lady H, he's still asleep.
981
01:27:21,320 --> 01:27:26,440
Terrible business. One just has to
brace oneself. Where's the American?
982
01:27:26,520 --> 01:27:29,193
Whatever you have to say,
say it and say it fast.
983
01:27:29,960 --> 01:27:33,999
Look, I shan't pretend there's been
any love lost between us.
984
01:27:34,080 --> 01:27:38,153
I've come to apologise as I won't be
attending the funeral. Don't do them.
985
01:27:39,040 --> 01:27:43,511
- I'd hate you to think I snubbed it.
- He's not dead yet. Get out.
986
01:27:51,040 --> 01:27:53,952
The Director-General of the BBC.
They wanted something different,
987
01:27:54,040 --> 01:27:56,952
so I popped down to a little agency
in the Charring Cross Road.
988
01:27:57,040 --> 01:27:59,679
It was called Bona Performers.
989
01:27:59,760 --> 01:28:01,034
Anybody there?
990
01:28:01,120 --> 01:28:03,588
Hello I'm Julian. This is my friend Sandy.
991
01:28:06,080 --> 01:28:09,197
- We're Bona Performers.
- Bona performers we are.
992
01:28:09,280 --> 01:28:14,752
It's Mr Horne
How nice to vada your jolly old eek again.
993
01:28:14,840 --> 01:28:17,195
What brings you trolling in here?
994
01:28:17,280 --> 01:28:20,670
I've been asked to organise
a cabaret for the BBC on the 15th.
995
01:28:20,760 --> 01:28:22,716
I was wondering if you could fix me up.
996
01:28:22,800 --> 01:28:24,313
Yes duckie.
997
01:28:25,880 --> 01:28:28,792
No we'd be glad to fix you up any time.
998
01:28:29,560 --> 01:28:32,233
BBC is it?
999
01:28:32,320 --> 01:28:36,438
You want something a bit risqu�
for that mob. How about Queenie?
1000
01:28:37,520 --> 01:28:39,476
What does Queenie do?
1001
01:28:39,560 --> 01:28:41,790
She does strip-tease with a difference.
1002
01:28:41,880 --> 01:28:43,836
Normally she's the bearded lady...
1003
01:28:51,600 --> 01:28:53,556
Take my watch.
1004
01:29:03,840 --> 01:29:05,796
Thank you, Popeye.
1005
01:29:15,040 --> 01:29:17,713
I never stopped loving your mother.
1006
01:30:34,840 --> 01:30:38,833
So we say farewell to Mahlaganipani.
1007
01:30:38,920 --> 01:30:44,836
Five friends was his measure of wealth.
1008
01:30:44,920 --> 01:30:49,630
And judging by the numbers around me,
he was indeed a very rich man.
1009
01:31:11,080 --> 01:31:13,036
Toodle-pip, sweetie.
1010
01:31:27,440 --> 01:31:29,396
I loved him so much.
1011
01:31:30,440 --> 01:31:33,000
I know, Gwennie. I know.
76862
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