All language subtitles for The Neighborhood s03e15 Welcome to the Challenge.eng

Here you go, boss.
Three more orders.

Wow! That is ten
oil changes today!

I told you my idea
for a $20 special would work.

Uh, that was my idea.

Norm, that doesn't
make any sense.

If it was your idea, why would
I be taking credit for it?

Hey, buddy. How
you doing, pal?

Your guy said I
should talk to you

about your oil
change special.

Pretty amazing deal, huh?Yeah.

I don't like to brag,
but that was my idea.

And absolutely no one else's.

Wow. It's pretty smart.

No wonder you're employee of
the month for a year straight.

Well, I don't like

to brag about that, either,
but actually, it was,

uh, 14 months.

All I know is
this is a much better deal

than over at Motor Boys.

They got to be shaking
in their coveralls.

Yeah.

You know, their sleazebag owner
Victor Alvarez--

he's been trying to put me
out of business for years.

Hmm.But it's ideas like this

that keep me one step
ahead of him.

Yeah, whoever thought of that
should probably get a raise.

So, have you ever met
this, uh, Alvarez jerk?

No, no, but I would love to see
the look on his slimy face

when he realizes
I outsmarted him again.

Well, if you want
to do that,

all you have to do
is look outside.

What do you mean?I mean this.

You're Victor Alvarez?

That's me.

And it's nice
to finally meet you face-to-face

to face.

Oh, yeah? Well, it's nice
to meet you face-to-face

to face, to face,
to face, to face!

Well, this has been fun,
but I have to go.

I will be seeing you later, and
you will be seeing me all day.

Ha, ha! [sings in Spanish]

♪ Welcome to the block,
welcome to the neighborhood ♪

♪ Welcome to the hood.

I can't believe

Victor put a giant Motor Boys
ad up over your shop.

Yeah, and just because
they're a big chain,

they think
they can push us around.

That guy has some nerve.

And some hair.

The last time
I saw a mane like that,

it was on Animal Planet
eating a hyena.

What we need is to figure out
how to remind everybody

that Calvin's Pit Stop is
a fixture in the community.

Oh.Exactly.

Whatever it is
should tie

into the neighborhood,
like some kind

of a local charity promotion.

Yeah, that is a great
idea. You know what?

We can team up
with a nearby

animal shelter and give every
customer a free rescue kitten.

That's ridiculous. What if
they don't want a kitten?

Well, then maybe they're not
the kind of customer you want.

Okay. How about

we have a food drive
at the local food pantry,

and everyone who donates a bag
of food gets a free oil change?

Mm.Or even better.

Oh.
We team up with a local food pantry,

give away free oil changes
to everyone

that comes in
with a bag of food.

Boom! Boom!

Yes.Calvin, that's exactly
what I just said.

Okay, Tina. I guess
some people need all the credit.

Uh...You know what?

One of the moms at my school
is a local TV reporter.

I'll ask her to cover it.

Great! You know what?
We'll get some press,

create a little new business,

and rip Victor's beating heart
out of his chest,

and I'll just squeeze it
and throw it on the floor.

And feed the
hungry, right?

Oh, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, we'll do that, too.

[humming]

Oh, hey, Malcolm.
What you doing?

I am going through the pantry
to get some donations together

for Mom and Pop's food drive.

Oh, cool. Uh, just don't touch
anything on my snack shelf.

I like to reward myself
after a hard day's work.

And before one, too.

You know, I don't even know
how you eat that junk.

Everything here is filled

with processed sugars
and empty calories.

Actually, that's the
healthy food. My snack shelf

is over there.

You know, I'm serious, Marty.

You need to stop eating
like this and start working out.

Hey, man, I work out.

Marty, the only crunches you do

come out of a box
of Fiddle Faddle.

Come on, little bro.
You should let me train you.

[scoffs] You? What do you
know about training,

besides teaching our old dog
how to pee on my pillow?

I know everything
about training.

I used to be a
professional athlete.

Yeah, but that was,
like, ten years ago.

So? I'm in better shape
now than I was then.

And I get even more dates.

All right, fine, but if I get
in better shape than you,

I'm taking revenge
for my pillow.

My head smelled like
a dog park for a month.Oh.

Hey, Tina. We brought over
some stuff for the food drive.

Yeah, we cleaned out
the whole pantry.

If there's an earthquake,
flood or zombie apocalypse,

we're gonna have to eat Grover.

Aw, I love Grover.

But you gotta do
what you gotta do.

Here at Calvin's Pit Stop,

we love supporting
our community.

And take it from me,

Calvin, of Calvin's Pit Stop,

where giving back is our
number one priority

here at Calvin's Pit Stop.

!¡Hola, mis amigos!

Victor, what are you doing here
at... Calvin's Pit Stop?

Don't worry, Alvin.
I'm just here

because Motor Boys
loves charities.

And what bigger charity case
is there

than Calvin's Pit Stop?

Well, thank you, Victor.
I appreciate the plug.

It's obviously something
you know a lot about,

looking at your hair.

Ha, ha! That is very funny.

But believe me,
this is all real.

Just like this. Felipe!

A $5,000

donation to the local

food pantry.

What?

Hey, get a close-up
on this check.

This story might actually
make it on the air.

Mr. Alvarez,

can we get a comment from you
on this generous donation?

Sure. But today is not about me.

Today is about the community
Motor Boys serves

with the highest quality

and the lowest prices in town.

Can I do that again?
Because I feel like

I got a hair out of place.

Felipe, my comb!

Come on, bro.

[whooping]

[groaning]

Ah!

[groaning]

I can't go on.

I gotta stop.
I gotta stop.

My lungs are collapsing.

Come on, Marty.

We haven't even run a mile.

And don't think I didn't see you
try to jump on that bus.

Hey, man, I don't get it.

You're barely even sweating.

Oh, I'm not sweating at all.

This is yours from when you
tried to get me to carry you.

Yeah.

Okay, man, let's just--

let's just do some stretching
to cool down.

Oh, man, can't I just

lie here in the grass,

and you turn the sprinklers
on me?

[groaning]

Marty?
Huh?

Take it from an elite athlete,
stretching after a workout

is the best way
to prevent an injury.

Now, come on, man, just...
just do what I do.

All right, fine.
All right.

[grunting]

Come on!
[exhales]

Now, ah...

You gotta give yourself...[grunts]

a full range...

of motion.
Uh-huh.

[back cracks][groans]: No!

What was that?Ooh, ooh-ooh, that was nothing.

That's just a...

That's a noise
that athletes make

when we stretch.
Why?

Well, we... we also
worked out our lungs,

so we gotta
stretch them, too.

Yeah, that makes sense.

Yeah.All right, all right,
let me try. Uh...

Okay.
Uh...

[howls]:
Ooh...!

Ooh! Ah.

I can't believe I've been
doing that wrong my whole life.

[whooping]

After all, what's the point
of owning the most

successful auto shops in
all of Southern California

if you can't write
big checks like this?

$5,000 is a lot of money.

No, I meant that giant check.
Are you kidding me?

Those things cost,
like, $100 each.

This is terrible.

Victor is totally stealing
the spotlight from you.

She's right, baby.
We gotta do something.Yeah.

You say the word, and I
can have 50 kittens here

in a half an hour.

No, Dave,
I got a better idea.

But if I find out
he's allergic to cats,

it's go time.

So, Victor, you know,
it's great to hear

that we're on the same page
about giving back

to those in need.

Absolutely, Calvin.
And your gesture is proof

that no shop is too small
to make a difference.

An incredibly poquito,barely
noticeable difference.

Well, since you feel that way,
I think I have an idea

how we can make
an even bigger difference.

How?

I propose a challenge!

We'll both pick
our best mechanic,

and have a race to see who can
build an engine the fastest.

The loser donates another $5,000
to the food pantry.

Wow, another $5,000.

That's a lot of money--
for you, not for me.

It doesn't matter
how much money it is

because... because Calvin
is gonna win.

Exactly.Yeah. Which is why

we're doubling the bet
to $10,000.

You tell 'em, Dave. Wait, whoa.
What are you telling 'em?

It's a deal! We will see you
tomorrow, Calvin.

See you tomorrow, little guy,
who needs to condition his hair.

Felipe, we ride!

Give me that, Felipe.

Well, you better bring
your giant pen,

'cause you're gonna be writing
an even bigger check tomorrow!

'Cause I'm gonna...

No wonder these things are $100.
They're really well made.

Calvin, I can't believe you
challenged him to this contest.

We can't afford $10,000.

I'm not the one
that made it 10,000.

That was Mr. Kittens
over there.

It doesn't matter, Calvin,

because you're gonna
beat this guy.

You're the best
mechanic in town.

Yeah, and plus, you've got
Norm on your team.

He's almost as good as you.

You know what, she's right.

You are good.

Even though you try to steal
my ideas every now and then.

So, Calvin, you ready to
get this party started?

Since your engine
probably won't.

What do you mean, get started?

Your assistant mechanic's
not even here yet.

Oh, yes, he is.
But yours isn't.

Right, Norm?

Seriously, Norm?

You'd stab me in the back
after everything I taught you?

I'm sorry, Calvin, but...

he offered me employee
of the month.

You know what, fine, Victor.

You can put up
your billboards,

steal my employees and
flaunt your giant checks,

but none of your slick tricks
are gonna work,

because I'm so good, I can beat
the two of you by myself.

Yeah, that's right,
which is why we're doubling...

Dave, no!

Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.

[whimpers]:
Oh...

Hey!
Hey!

There's the elite athlete.[chuckles]: Here I am.

I'm just reading about
these peas, you know.

Oh, they're still good for you.
They can stay.

I've got to say, Malcolm,

yesterday was tough.

But I woke up feeling
really good about this.

[chuckles]
And it's all thanks to you, man.

Aah! I-I am so glad
you feel that way.

Okay, so what's on the schedule
for today, Coach?

A little weight training?
Some cardio?

Or find a place
that has a ton of stairs.

You know, I'd love to get
a little Rockymontage in

for Instagram.

Actually, uh, M-Marty,

maybe we should take today off.

Because if you push too hard,
you could get hurt,

and then you'll have to walk
over to the couch like this.

Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.

Hey, come on, man,
I'll be fine.

Besides, I'll never
get in shape like you

by skipping workouts.

Uh...Here... put your shoes on.

No, no-- Aah! I will
see you out there.

Come on, Calvin!
You can do it.

Yeah, baby! And if
you run out of grease,

there's a head
full of it over there!

Looks like Calvin's
falling behind.

Victor and Norm already have
their shiny doohickey

on their big,
oily thingamabob.

I know you don't know
what you're saying,

but it is so sexy
when you talk cars.

Calvin, I gotta say
I'm impressed

that you're keeping up.

When I shut you down,
you can come and work for me.

I take two creams
and one sugar.

Not a chance.

But if you need a job,
I can always use

one of those inflatable
floppy guys out front

doing this.

You're good at that.
When I put you out of business,

you can open a dance studio,
huh? Olé.

Come on, Calvin.

You can beat this guy.

This is a classic
underdog story.

Y-You're like David
fighting Goliath.

I mean, if... if Goliath

stole David's best shepherd
at the last minute.

And, well, if David
was actually named Calvin,

who, coincidentally,
had a best friend named Dave.

Am I crazy, or is Calvin
starting to move faster?

GEMMA:
I know. It's like the more Dave bothers him,

the faster he works.

Wait, I think I know
what's happening.

After all of these years
of listening to Dave yapping,

Calvin's learned how
to tune him out.

[Gemma gasps]TINA: It's helping him focus.

What are you talking about?
I am not bothering him.

This is the face he makes
when he is listening intently

to everything I say.

CALVIN:
No, Dave,

I think Tina's right.
It is helping.

I can't believe
I'm about to say this,

but, uh, give me all
the annoying Dave you got.

Well, that's all I needed
to hear.

So, in the fourth grade,
I sat behind Mary Wheeler,

who was so tall
I couldn't see the board.

But when they moved me
to the front,

I still couldn't see,
and that's when we all realized

[laughs]:
that I was blind as a bat.

Luckily, later on...

So most people think that the
grocery store Smart and Final

is named that because
it's an excellent place

for one-stop shopping.

But the truth is, it's
named after its founders,

Jim Smart and H.D....

Final.

[laughs]

How cool is that?!

So I roll down my window
and I hand the cop my license.

But I-I hear a voice
that I recognize,

and I look up, way up,

and, you guessed it,
right there,

it's Mary Wheeler.

Tallest cop you've ever seen.

She said she didn't
recognize me,

but I don't totally
believe her.

Whoo!

Ah! Ow!

[groaning, whimpering]

[Marty exhales]

[both whooping]

I didn't think
I was gonna make it.

But thank God
you kept the pressure on

with all that screaming
at me.

Yeah, I'm glad it worked,
'cause I'll probably be

screaming at you through
the cool-down, too.

Oh, hey, man, thanks again
for doing this.

I never would have got started
if you hadn't pushed me.

Yeah.
Bring it in.

No. No. No, don't. You...

[yelling]

Yeah, man, great run!

Aah!

[Malcolm chuckling]

Oh, Marty, I'm not
celebrating our run.

I'm in excruciating pain.

What?Ow!

I threw my back out yesterday
when we were exercising,

and I've been trying
to hide it ever since.

Whoa.[groans]

Why didn't you say anything?

Because it's embarrassing, man.

I was bragging about
being an elite athlete,

and saying you were
out of shape,

and then I get hurt stretching.

That's like a guy
calling himself a ladies' man

and, you know, taking his mama
to the school dance.

Hey, man, I didn't take her.
She was a chaperone.

You know what I mean.

Of course I do.
But you don't need to be

embarrassed in front of me, man,
I'm your brother.Yeah, but still...

No "but still," Malcolm.

If you can't be real with me,
who can you be real with?

Aw, you're right.

You're right, little bro,
I was just being dumb.

You know what, thank you for
being so cool about this, man.

Yeah, no problem, man.

Let's get you inside
so you can ice your back.Yeah.

[both grunting]

All right.

And for the record,
it was a Sadie Hawkins dance.

So technically,
Mama invited me.Oh...

Come on, Dave,
they're neck and neck.

GEMMA:
Yeah, baby.

Come on, you gotta
Dave it up a notch.Yeah.

I can't. I'm exhausted.

I've told every story
that Calvin's ignored

or walked away from
in the last three years.

For the past 15 minutes,
I even annoyed myself.

What's the matter
over there, Calvin?

Huh? You look like you're
running out of steam.

Oh, which reminds me,

sometimes I like
foam milk on my latte.

Come on, Dave, you gotta
come up with something, man.

A-Anything. What...

what about the first time
you cried at a concert?

W-- I already told you.

Sugar Ray.
Haven't you been listening?

Come on, baby, hurry up.
They're almost done.

I'm trying, babe, but...

I just don't think I can do it
without Dave.

Come on, Calvin,
that's not true.

Look, the reality is,

is you never needed me
in the first place.

'Cause you can do this
on your own.

You always could.

Look, you're like Dorothy
from The Wizard of Oz.

She thought that she needed
the Wizard's help to get home,

but all she ever had to do

was click her ruby red slippers
together and believe.

Oh, my God,
he's speeding up again.

That's it, Dave.

That's exactly the kind of
dumbass jabbering he needs.

Go, go, go, go, go.

What do you mean, jabbering?

I was just trying
to get Calvin to do...

[engine starts]...exactly that!

Boom! You hear that?

That's the sound of me...

kicking your ass!

You did it, baby. Mwah!

You did it.
We knew you could.

Yeah, you just dropped a house

on the Wicked Victor
of the West.

Well, Calvin, congratulations.

I must admit you are
a hell of a good mechanic.

And you are
very patient, too.

I would have thrown a wrench
at that guy an hour ago.

So, Victor,
are you gonna make good

on that ten grand
to the food pantry?

I am a man of my word.
But this isn't over.

I'll be back for you,
and your little dog, too.

He's not a little dog.
He's my friend!

In fact, he's the Jim Smart
to my H.D. Final!

Hold on. I-I thought
you weren't listening.

Oh, most of it I can block out,
but actually,

that one was pretty interesting.

[sniffles] This is Sugar Ray
all over again.

Oh, honey...

This is so exciting.

I can't believe we're
gonna be on the news.

You guys deserve it.

You raised a lot of money
for charity and showed that

sometimes the
underdog can win.

Exactly. You know,
it reminds me of

that end-of-summer-camp
talent show

when me and my ukulele
squared off against...

Okay, Dave,
we've already won.

You can stop being annoying now.

Ooh, there it is!

We're on. Turn it up.All right.

REPORTER:
And, in a local story,

two Pasadena auto shops

decided to go head-to-head
for a good cause.

All right, here it comes,
here it comes.

Regional chain Motor Boys
learned not to mess

with the little guy when
neighborhood auto shop Calvin...

[news program music plays]Oh...

Oh, we are gonna cut away
right now

for some breaking news.What?!

We are going live
to a warehouse fire,

where firefighters have
just rescued

a litter of adorable kittens.

Kittens!
See, there's an idea.

Why didn't anybody
think of that?

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