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00:00:01,835 --> 00:00:03,871
ADULT ADAM: Back in the '80s,it felt like I grew up at school.
2
00:00:04,004 --> 00:00:06,607
From crashing assemblies
to crushing school dances,
3
00:00:06,740 --> 00:00:09,443
I found lots of ways
to leave my mark.
4
00:00:09,577 --> 00:00:11,779
But that didn't matter now
that I was an upperclassman,
5
00:00:11,912 --> 00:00:13,847
'cause nothing
cemented your legacy
6
00:00:13,981 --> 00:00:15,949
quite like your senior prank.
7
00:00:16,084 --> 00:00:17,285
Fellow seniors,
8
00:00:17,418 --> 00:00:18,852
throw out
your prank suggestions.
9
00:00:18,986 --> 00:00:20,020
No bad ideas.
10
00:00:20,154 --> 00:00:21,789
We all come to school
wearing turtlenecks.
11
00:00:21,922 --> 00:00:23,057
There are bad ideas.
12
00:00:23,191 --> 00:00:24,992
What if, at lunch,
we grill a ton of hot dogs
13
00:00:25,126 --> 00:00:26,660
and just give them
to whoever wants them?
14
00:00:26,794 --> 00:00:27,828
That's not a prank, okay?
15
00:00:27,961 --> 00:00:29,997
That's a minor league
baseball promotion.
16
00:00:30,131 --> 00:00:32,433
We could do something to
the William Penn statue.
17
00:00:32,566 --> 00:00:34,202
No!
18
00:00:34,335 --> 00:00:37,505
This statue is off-limits
to all pranks.
19
00:00:37,638 --> 00:00:39,440
William Penn
is my personal hero.
20
00:00:39,573 --> 00:00:42,042
Wasn't he expelled
from Oxford and jailed a bunch?
21
00:00:42,176 --> 00:00:44,878
Don't believe everything
you read in our textbooks, Goldberg.
22
00:00:45,012 --> 00:00:45,979
And keep your mitts off him.
23
00:00:46,980 --> 00:00:49,383
I mean, we gotta hit
that statue now.
24
00:00:49,517 --> 00:00:51,485
Ball basically
just told us to.
25
00:00:51,619 --> 00:00:53,521
What if we just dressed him up
in an embarrassing outfit?
26
00:00:53,654 --> 00:00:55,489
Adam, you have tons of
shameful costumes, right?
27
00:00:55,623 --> 00:00:57,024
Normally,
I'd jump at the chance
28
00:00:57,158 --> 00:00:59,527
to show off my collection
of screen-worn memorabilia,
29
00:00:59,660 --> 00:01:01,028
but Principal Ball
made it pretty clear,
30
00:01:01,162 --> 00:01:02,496
that statue's a big no-no.
31
00:01:02,630 --> 00:01:03,931
Dude, this is
our senior prank.
32
00:01:04,064 --> 00:01:05,499
It's our last chance.
33
00:01:05,633 --> 00:01:07,701
Once we're adults,
pranks are called crimes.
34
00:01:07,835 --> 00:01:09,470
Adam, don't you have
that furry Alf costume?
35
00:01:09,603 --> 00:01:10,904
You mean
my Bigfoot costume?
36
00:01:11,038 --> 00:01:12,140
Is that
what that was?
37
00:01:12,273 --> 00:01:14,074
It seemed...
Never mind.
38
00:01:14,208 --> 00:01:16,844
If we pull this off,
we'll be total rock stars.
39
00:01:16,977 --> 00:01:18,212
That's it!
40
00:01:18,346 --> 00:01:20,214
What about avant garde
singer-showman David Bowie?
41
00:01:20,348 --> 00:01:21,749
It's perfect!
42
00:01:21,882 --> 00:01:23,584
We can put him in
a flamboyant spaceman jumpsuit
43
00:01:23,717 --> 00:01:24,885
and paint
a lightning bolt on his face.
44
00:01:25,018 --> 00:01:26,720
But whatever we do,
don't tell anyone, okay?
45
00:01:26,854 --> 00:01:28,989
If we get caught,
we could get suspended.
46
00:01:29,123 --> 00:01:31,525
ADULT ADAM: Oh, no.I didn't want to get suspended.
47
00:01:31,659 --> 00:01:33,861
But I couldn't
let my friends down.
48
00:01:33,994 --> 00:01:35,963
Poopsie-pie.
49
00:01:36,096 --> 00:01:37,665
Your slumping frame
wouldn't have anything to do
50
00:01:37,798 --> 00:01:39,099
with the senior prank,
would it?
51
00:01:39,233 --> 00:01:42,069
Principal Ball
told the faculty to be on high alert.
52
00:01:42,203 --> 00:01:43,304
No.
53
00:01:43,437 --> 00:01:44,938
Maybe.
54
00:01:45,072 --> 00:01:46,707
I'm so conflicted, Mama.
55
00:01:46,840 --> 00:01:49,610
Ohh. You can share
anything with me.
56
00:01:49,743 --> 00:01:51,945
Secrets. Soup.
57
00:01:52,079 --> 00:01:54,215
Vows we write to each other
and then exchange
58
00:01:54,348 --> 00:01:56,617
in an intimate ceremony
between family and friends.
59
00:01:56,750 --> 00:01:58,319
I guess I'm okay
with the soup.
60
00:01:58,452 --> 00:02:02,556
But my friends
asked me to desecrate the William Penn statue.
61
00:02:02,690 --> 00:02:05,092
If I get caught,
NYU will never let me in.
62
00:02:05,226 --> 00:02:07,461
Now, as Quaker Warden,
I'll put a stop to it.
63
00:02:07,595 --> 00:02:08,929
But no one can know
it was me.
64
00:02:09,062 --> 00:02:11,565
Mama is always discreet.
65
00:02:11,699 --> 00:02:13,367
And if you still want to
make your mark,
66
00:02:13,501 --> 00:02:14,902
I have the perfect idea...
67
00:02:15,035 --> 00:02:17,070
A mother-son prank. Mm!
68
00:02:17,205 --> 00:02:18,906
How about
a mother-son quietly go their separate ways?
69
00:02:19,039 --> 00:02:20,107
Yes, you're in.
70
00:02:20,241 --> 00:02:22,142
You'll go up
at assembly and say,
71
00:02:22,276 --> 00:02:25,078
"My mama was the best part
about high school,"
72
00:02:25,213 --> 00:02:27,315
and then I'll go up
and give you kissies!
73
00:02:27,448 --> 00:02:28,582
That's not a prank.
74
00:02:28,716 --> 00:02:31,084
That's just me
committing social suicide.
75
00:02:31,219 --> 00:02:34,388
Ohh, son. (LAUGHS)
76
00:02:34,522 --> 00:02:35,923
** I'm twisted up inside
77
00:02:36,056 --> 00:02:38,759
** But nonetheless,
I feel the need to say
78
00:02:41,795 --> 00:02:43,531
** I don't know the future
79
00:02:43,664 --> 00:02:47,435
** But the past keeps getting
clearer every day **
80
00:02:47,568 --> 00:02:49,770
ADULT ADAM:
It was April 28th, 1980-something,
81
00:02:49,903 --> 00:02:51,439
and Erica was trying to
distract herself
82
00:02:51,572 --> 00:02:52,606
from her breakup with Geoff.
83
00:02:52,740 --> 00:02:53,707
(DOORBELL RINGS)
84
00:02:53,841 --> 00:02:56,009
Until this happened.
85
00:02:56,143 --> 00:02:57,978
Geoff.
Hey, you.
86
00:02:58,111 --> 00:03:00,113
Heyy... Back at ya.
87
00:03:00,248 --> 00:03:01,315
(DOOR CLOSES)
GEOFF: I'm sorry. It's...
88
00:03:01,449 --> 00:03:02,650
It's weird I'm here.
89
00:03:02,783 --> 00:03:04,084
Sure, we have
a rich romantic history,
90
00:03:04,218 --> 00:03:05,986
but stuff happens,
91
00:03:06,119 --> 00:03:07,588
and then
it stops happening.
92
00:03:07,721 --> 00:03:09,457
As you know, today
would have been our fifth anniversary.
93
00:03:09,590 --> 00:03:11,359
ERICA: I guess it would.
Five's a big one.
94
00:03:11,492 --> 00:03:12,826
Was a big one, I mean.
95
00:03:12,960 --> 00:03:14,662
Not for me, though, because
I celebrate the small ones,
96
00:03:14,795 --> 00:03:16,297
like three, six,
seventeen, and...
97
00:03:16,430 --> 00:03:17,765
Okay, you talk again.
98
00:03:17,898 --> 00:03:19,667
GEOFF: We had that dinner
at Le Bec Fin planned,
99
00:03:19,800 --> 00:03:22,102
and I figured since
we already paid and it's non-refundable
100
00:03:22,236 --> 00:03:23,504
that maybe...
101
00:03:23,637 --> 00:03:24,572
Maybe...
102
00:03:24,705 --> 00:03:26,740
Maybe you could
give this to Barry?
103
00:03:26,874 --> 00:03:28,742
Barry! Oh! Psh!
104
00:03:28,876 --> 00:03:30,311
That's why you're here!
That makes sense.
105
00:03:30,444 --> 00:03:32,246
I mean,
passing my little bro our special night.
106
00:03:32,380 --> 00:03:33,614
I'm just gonna go.
107
00:03:33,747 --> 00:03:35,148
(DOOR OPENS, CLOSES)
108
00:03:35,283 --> 00:03:37,451
Schmoodle, are you okay?
109
00:03:37,585 --> 00:03:38,586
(VOICE BREAKING)
I'm not okay.
110
00:03:38,719 --> 00:03:39,987
Bring it in.
111
00:03:40,120 --> 00:03:42,490
Make Mama's sweater
sparkle with your tears.
112
00:03:42,623 --> 00:03:43,757
He said to
give it to Barry,
113
00:03:43,891 --> 00:03:45,559
but I'm not gonna
give it to Barry.
114
00:03:45,693 --> 00:03:47,995
I'm gonna start a fire and
I'm gonna put it in the fire
115
00:03:48,128 --> 00:03:49,797
and then I'm gonna jump
into the fire!
116
00:03:49,930 --> 00:03:51,399
(CRYING)
117
00:03:51,532 --> 00:03:54,067
Okay, Murray, I need a box of
tissues, fashion magazines,
118
00:03:54,201 --> 00:03:55,869
and a block of chocolate
big enough to dance on.
119
00:03:56,003 --> 00:03:57,037
My baby needs her mama!
120
00:03:57,170 --> 00:03:58,672
(TV SHUTS OFF)
I got a better idea.
121
00:03:58,806 --> 00:04:00,007
I'll handle it.
122
00:04:00,140 --> 00:04:01,875
Up-bup. Handle what?
123
00:04:02,009 --> 00:04:03,176
Oh, the blubbering one.
124
00:04:03,311 --> 00:04:05,313
No offense, Murray, but when
Barry had a broken heart,
125
00:04:05,446 --> 00:04:07,415
you told him to zip it
or take it outside.
126
00:04:07,548 --> 00:04:10,050
That's because
She's the Sheriff was on. This is different.
127
00:04:10,183 --> 00:04:11,419
I don't know.
128
00:04:11,552 --> 00:04:13,253
Wait till she hears
what I have in store for her.
129
00:04:13,387 --> 00:04:14,422
She's gonna love it!
130
00:04:14,555 --> 00:04:16,424
It's Daddy Daughter Day!
131
00:04:16,557 --> 00:04:18,025
ADULT ADAM:
It was a classic move.
132
00:04:18,158 --> 00:04:20,594
Back in the day, my dad took
my sister to this very rink
133
00:04:20,728 --> 00:04:22,596
for some quality
father-daughter bonding.
134
00:04:22,730 --> 00:04:25,232
But I haven't
been here in years,
135
00:04:25,366 --> 00:04:27,635
and I was so young
and stupid,
136
00:04:27,768 --> 00:04:29,403
and I think you might be
wearing the same shirt.
137
00:04:29,537 --> 00:04:31,705
Come on. It'll melt
all your troubles away.
138
00:04:31,839 --> 00:04:33,407
Besides, I didn't eat salt
this morning
139
00:04:33,541 --> 00:04:34,608
so my skates would fit.
140
00:04:35,509 --> 00:04:37,277
One lap.
Let's do it.
141
00:04:37,411 --> 00:04:39,046
ADULT ADAM: While my dad
and sister got on wheels,
142
00:04:39,179 --> 00:04:41,782
my mom was helping me
hit the brakes on my prank.
143
00:04:41,915 --> 00:04:42,883
You sure you were discreet?
144
00:04:43,016 --> 00:04:44,618
Don't worry, Schmoo.
145
00:04:44,752 --> 00:04:46,320
I sent Principal Ball
a memo
146
00:04:46,454 --> 00:04:48,389
made with cut-up words
out of magazine,
147
00:04:48,522 --> 00:04:49,823
like a ransom note.
148
00:04:49,957 --> 00:04:51,625
I should have been
a kidnapper.
149
00:04:51,759 --> 00:04:52,760
If it makes you feel
any better,
150
00:04:52,893 --> 00:04:54,261
you did steal
most of my childhood.
151
00:04:54,395 --> 00:04:56,464
It does. Ta!
152
00:04:56,597 --> 00:04:58,932
Better luck next time,
seniors.
153
00:04:59,066 --> 00:05:01,435
I just got a hot tip
from an anonymous oddball
154
00:05:01,569 --> 00:05:03,871
that Billy P here
is about to be pranked,
155
00:05:04,004 --> 00:05:07,641
so he will be locked away
till graduation.
156
00:05:08,241 --> 00:05:09,410
Point, Ball.
157
00:05:11,144 --> 00:05:13,514
Holy crap!
It worked! What worked?
158
00:05:13,647 --> 00:05:15,549
Don't be mad?
Everybody inside!
159
00:05:15,683 --> 00:05:17,017
It's happening!
160
00:05:17,150 --> 00:05:19,119
♪**♪
161
00:05:19,252 --> 00:05:21,489
(GASPING)
162
00:05:21,622 --> 00:05:23,156
Whoever pulled
this one off,
163
00:05:23,290 --> 00:05:24,492
best prank
in years.
164
00:05:24,625 --> 00:05:25,659
That means a lot
coming from the teacher
165
00:05:25,793 --> 00:05:26,760
who rides a motorcycle
166
00:05:26,894 --> 00:05:28,295
despite all the safety data.
167
00:05:28,429 --> 00:05:30,531
If the devil wants to take me,
he's got to catch me first.
168
00:05:30,664 --> 00:05:32,666
What an amazing
life lesson to tell children.
169
00:05:32,800 --> 00:05:34,502
You guys did this
without me?
170
00:05:34,635 --> 00:05:37,705
Look, we love that
you're a sweet, nice boy,
171
00:05:37,838 --> 00:05:40,173
which is why we kind of
counted on you to blab to your mom.
172
00:05:40,307 --> 00:05:43,276
And that got Principal Ball
fixated on the statue outside
173
00:05:43,411 --> 00:05:45,679
so we could get
these sweet beasts inside.
174
00:05:45,813 --> 00:05:48,081
Did you know donkeys have
phenomenal memories
175
00:05:48,215 --> 00:05:50,484
and a logical, flexible
approach to problem-solving?
176
00:05:50,618 --> 00:05:51,819
Thanks, Jack Hanna.
177
00:05:51,952 --> 00:05:54,354
But I kind of am focusing on
the fact that you used me.
178
00:05:54,488 --> 00:05:57,357
If anything, you were
the most important part.
179
00:05:57,491 --> 00:06:00,060
Right after securing
and transporting two donkeys in secrecy.
180
00:06:00,193 --> 00:06:02,496
The burros are making love
in the computer lab.
181
00:06:02,630 --> 00:06:03,764
(DONKEY BRAYS)
Damn it!
182
00:06:03,897 --> 00:06:05,566
It's such a good prank.
183
00:06:05,699 --> 00:06:07,300
ADULT ADAM: As my friends
had made an ass of me,
184
00:06:07,435 --> 00:06:09,803
my dad was trying
not to fall on his.
185
00:06:09,937 --> 00:06:11,505
See? We're doing
the thing.
186
00:06:11,639 --> 00:06:13,040
Sort of doing it.
187
00:06:13,173 --> 00:06:15,443
You hit that cone, fell,
and you said, "Leave me."
188
00:06:15,576 --> 00:06:16,744
But you didn't.
189
00:06:16,877 --> 00:06:19,312
And here we are,
about to finish our first lap.
190
00:06:19,447 --> 00:06:20,748
At least no one's here
to witness it.
191
00:06:20,881 --> 00:06:22,215
ADULT ADAM:
Well, almost no one.
192
00:06:22,349 --> 00:06:24,317
Erica Goldberg?
(GASPS)
193
00:06:24,452 --> 00:06:25,619
I haven't seen you
in forever, bitch.
194
00:06:25,753 --> 00:06:27,988
I know... Bitch.
195
00:06:28,121 --> 00:06:30,223
Yo, guy. I'm Carla.
Erica's best friend from high school.
196
00:06:30,357 --> 00:06:32,325
That's my dad.
You've met him like 100 times.
197
00:06:32,460 --> 00:06:34,995
Oh, yeah!
I didn't recognize you with your pants on.
198
00:06:35,128 --> 00:06:36,530
(LAUGHS) Oh, man.
199
00:06:36,664 --> 00:06:38,398
I can't even count
how many dads I've said that to.
200
00:06:38,532 --> 00:06:40,033
I don't like you.
201
00:06:40,167 --> 00:06:41,902
I'm going to get a Fanta.
202
00:06:42,035 --> 00:06:43,003
Do you work here?
203
00:06:43,136 --> 00:06:44,438
I'm a Rink Lady.
204
00:06:44,572 --> 00:06:47,040
I'm in charge of,
like, so many kids' safety, it's stupid.
205
00:06:47,174 --> 00:06:48,175
So, where's Geoff?
206
00:06:48,308 --> 00:06:49,510
We actually broke up.
207
00:06:49,643 --> 00:06:50,878
Was it a passion killing?
208
00:06:51,011 --> 00:06:53,246
No, just your standard,
boring breakup.
209
00:06:53,380 --> 00:06:55,683
Honestly, in high school,
I pooh-poohed dweebs like Geoff,
210
00:06:55,816 --> 00:06:57,818
but in the rearview mirror
of my chaotic life,
211
00:06:57,951 --> 00:06:59,086
he's the whole package.
212
00:06:59,920 --> 00:07:01,589
Hey, babe.
Other babe.
213
00:07:01,722 --> 00:07:03,223
Erica and Geoff
split up.
214
00:07:03,356 --> 00:07:05,158
That sweet-faced douche-nugget
is on the market?
215
00:07:05,292 --> 00:07:07,861
You gotta swoop in,
and swoop fast! But what about us?
216
00:07:07,995 --> 00:07:09,429
We're talking
Geoff Schwartz here.
217
00:07:09,563 --> 00:07:11,398
He's grade-A
marriage material.
218
00:07:11,532 --> 00:07:12,666
He's gonna be
an optometrist.
219
00:07:12,800 --> 00:07:14,468
An ophthalmologist.
What?
220
00:07:14,602 --> 00:07:17,370
A real medical doctor
who can perform retinal surgeries
221
00:07:17,505 --> 00:07:18,872
including radial keratotomy?
222
00:07:19,006 --> 00:07:20,708
If you don't swoop in,
I will.
223
00:07:20,841 --> 00:07:21,942
Well, you don't really
need me here
224
00:07:22,075 --> 00:07:23,711
to figure out
who's gonna swoop in, so...
225
00:07:24,845 --> 00:07:26,046
We're leaving.
MURRAY: Already?
226
00:07:26,179 --> 00:07:27,781
Don't you remember
this claw machine?
227
00:07:27,915 --> 00:07:30,250
I'm trying to win you
that unicorn you always wanted.
228
00:07:30,383 --> 00:07:32,219
Yeah! Yeah!
Yeah! Yeah!
229
00:07:32,352 --> 00:07:33,353
Ohh!
230
00:07:33,487 --> 00:07:34,655
What does it take?
231
00:07:34,788 --> 00:07:35,923
Murray, let's just
get out of here
232
00:07:36,056 --> 00:07:37,991
before anyone else finds out
how pathetic my life is.
233
00:07:38,125 --> 00:07:40,193
JOHNNY: This one
goes out to Erica,
234
00:07:40,327 --> 00:07:43,196
who just broke up with
solid catch Geoff Schwartz.
235
00:07:43,330 --> 00:07:45,298
There's an eye man
on the table, ladies.
236
00:07:45,432 --> 00:07:47,601
ADULT ADAM: While Erica
fled from her past,
237
00:07:47,735 --> 00:07:49,903
I sought advice
to cement my legacy.
238
00:07:50,037 --> 00:07:51,539
Bar, I'm in trouble.
239
00:07:51,672 --> 00:07:52,673
Wait. What are you doing?
240
00:07:52,806 --> 00:07:55,442
We're out of TP,
so I'm improvising. Cheggit.
241
00:07:55,576 --> 00:07:57,110
Hey, you did
something good with a saw.
242
00:07:57,244 --> 00:07:59,046
Now, tell your wise brother
your woes.
243
00:07:59,179 --> 00:08:01,481
Well, my friends used me
to pull a prank.
244
00:08:01,615 --> 00:08:03,416
A tale as old as time,
245
00:08:03,551 --> 00:08:05,452
but your situation is
even worse than you think.
246
00:08:05,586 --> 00:08:06,820
Worse?
247
00:08:06,954 --> 00:08:09,256
If you're not
actively involved in a senior prank,
248
00:08:09,389 --> 00:08:10,624
no one will remember you.
249
00:08:10,758 --> 00:08:11,792
Like Seth Snider?
250
00:08:11,925 --> 00:08:13,126
The son of
the pretzel baron?
251
00:08:13,260 --> 00:08:14,962
Not even a little.
252
00:08:15,095 --> 00:08:17,464
He graduated my year
without a prank to his name.
253
00:08:17,598 --> 00:08:18,932
I only remember him
254
00:08:19,066 --> 00:08:20,500
'cause he had
that weird thing on his nose.
255
00:08:20,634 --> 00:08:22,836
That thing was weird.
What was that? No one will ever know.
256
00:08:22,970 --> 00:08:24,471
Well, probably him
and the dermatologist
257
00:08:24,605 --> 00:08:25,573
and the insurance company
258
00:08:25,706 --> 00:08:26,740
and his friends and family
259
00:08:26,874 --> 00:08:28,308
and anyone
who isn't afraid to ask.
260
00:08:28,441 --> 00:08:30,110
Long list. Anyway.
Let's get prankin'.
261
00:08:30,243 --> 00:08:31,912
But pranks
get you in trouble!
262
00:08:32,045 --> 00:08:35,716
Look, you may not
have the courage, the mental agility,
263
00:08:35,849 --> 00:08:37,350
the hunger...
Sure, but...
264
00:08:37,484 --> 00:08:39,820
...the physical prowess,
the danger in your eyes, the cunning wit.
265
00:08:39,953 --> 00:08:41,154
I get it.
266
00:08:41,288 --> 00:08:43,490
The muscles in
your arms, legs, or back. Get to it!
267
00:08:43,624 --> 00:08:46,727
But you do have
something no one, including me, ever had.
268
00:08:46,860 --> 00:08:48,128
Juvenile arthritis?
269
00:08:48,261 --> 00:08:50,097
Access.
Access to what?
270
00:08:50,230 --> 00:08:52,132
To the school, dummy.
271
00:08:52,265 --> 00:08:55,335
Mom works there now,
and she has keys.
272
00:08:55,468 --> 00:08:57,370
But she's not just gonna
hand me keys to the school.
273
00:08:57,504 --> 00:08:59,740
The way I see it, you either
figure out a way to those keys
274
00:08:59,873 --> 00:09:01,474
or be flushed away
in history.
275
00:09:01,609 --> 00:09:02,743
Your choice, nerd.
276
00:09:02,876 --> 00:09:05,112
I'll take this, too.
It's fun.
277
00:09:05,245 --> 00:09:07,514
ADULT ADAM: Sadly,
Barry was right.
278
00:09:07,648 --> 00:09:11,218
If I wanted to be remembered,
I needed to do something big.
279
00:09:11,351 --> 00:09:13,721
♪**♪
280
00:09:13,854 --> 00:09:14,855
Not so fast!
281
00:09:14,988 --> 00:09:15,923
She's among us!
282
00:09:16,056 --> 00:09:17,357
What are you doing
in my purse?
283
00:09:17,490 --> 00:09:18,425
I was just looking for...
284
00:09:18,558 --> 00:09:19,559
This tampon.
285
00:09:19,693 --> 00:09:20,961
Oh, my God.
286
00:09:21,094 --> 00:09:23,931
You were looking for my keys
to pull a prank at school.
287
00:09:24,064 --> 00:09:26,333
She caught me red-handed.There was only one thing to do...
288
00:09:26,466 --> 00:09:27,400
Tell her the truth.
289
00:09:27,534 --> 00:09:28,568
Mm, kinda.
290
00:09:28,702 --> 00:09:30,137
Rats. Phooey.
291
00:09:30,270 --> 00:09:32,405
I guess
the mother-son prank is off.
292
00:09:32,539 --> 00:09:33,774
Mother-son prank?
(SCOFFS)
293
00:09:33,907 --> 00:09:35,375
Like I'd ever
believe that.
294
00:09:35,508 --> 00:09:36,910
I got to thinking,
295
00:09:37,044 --> 00:09:39,847
what better way for
my judgy peers to remember me by
296
00:09:39,980 --> 00:09:43,183
than with a very public
love note to the woman...
297
00:09:43,316 --> 00:09:44,852
You came out of.
298
00:09:44,985 --> 00:09:46,219
I was gonna say "raised me,"
but sure.
299
00:09:46,353 --> 00:09:48,722
Well, that makes
a tremendous amount of sense.
300
00:09:48,856 --> 00:09:51,992
Just for fun, what would
that giant banner of love say?
301
00:09:52,125 --> 00:09:53,727
I guess I'd go with
something like,
302
00:09:53,861 --> 00:09:55,696
"Adam Loves His Mama."
(GASPS)
303
00:09:55,829 --> 00:09:57,097
You are such a good writer.
304
00:09:57,230 --> 00:09:58,265
But too bad.
305
00:09:58,398 --> 00:10:00,367
Without the keys,
it's not happening.
306
00:10:00,500 --> 00:10:02,970
The world will just have to
wonder, do I love you?
307
00:10:03,103 --> 00:10:04,204
Tell you what.
308
00:10:04,337 --> 00:10:07,040
I'm just gonna forget
my keys right here.
309
00:10:07,174 --> 00:10:08,608
(KEYS CLACK)
310
00:10:08,742 --> 00:10:11,211
And if anyone chooses to
come looking for them,
311
00:10:11,344 --> 00:10:13,546
I'd never know.
312
00:10:13,681 --> 00:10:15,716
ADULT ADAM: There they were.
I finally had my...
313
00:10:15,849 --> 00:10:17,918
Whoa! I, uh...
314
00:10:18,051 --> 00:10:19,987
I need my P.O. box key.
315
00:10:20,120 --> 00:10:22,455
A lot of mail-order shopping
your dad would frown upon.
316
00:10:22,589 --> 00:10:23,623
(KEYS CLACK)
Oop!
317
00:10:23,757 --> 00:10:25,926
Clumsy me,
forgetting my keys again.
318
00:10:26,059 --> 00:10:27,661
I had the access.
319
00:10:27,795 --> 00:10:28,929
Now all I had to do was...
320
00:10:29,062 --> 00:10:30,430
I forgot my Mace.
321
00:10:30,563 --> 00:10:33,466
You know,
with my blond hair and curvy physique,
322
00:10:33,600 --> 00:10:34,802
I'm a magnet for pervs.
323
00:10:34,935 --> 00:10:35,936
There.
(KEYS CLACK)
324
00:10:36,069 --> 00:10:37,805
(WHISPERING)
I was never here.
325
00:10:37,938 --> 00:10:41,074
And with that,I officially had the keys to unlock my legacy.
326
00:10:43,877 --> 00:10:46,213
ADULT ADAM: After dupingmy mom into giving me the keys to the school,
327
00:10:46,346 --> 00:10:48,782
I was one prank away
from being a legend.
328
00:10:48,916 --> 00:10:50,984
Hello, brother.
Gah! Barry!
329
00:10:51,118 --> 00:10:52,886
Were you just sitting
in the dark waiting for me?
330
00:10:53,020 --> 00:10:54,587
Just for three
short hours.
331
00:10:54,722 --> 00:10:56,123
Not important.
332
00:10:56,256 --> 00:10:58,025
What's important
is that prank you're trying to pull.
333
00:10:58,158 --> 00:11:01,661
Well, I was thinking
I'd sneak into Ball's office
334
00:11:01,795 --> 00:11:04,932
and write him
an anonymous thank-you note for a great four years.
335
00:11:05,065 --> 00:11:08,635
Then you douse it in kerosene,
walk away in slow motion,
336
00:11:08,769 --> 00:11:10,237
and throw a lit match
behind you?
337
00:11:10,370 --> 00:11:11,805
Just the kind note.
338
00:11:11,939 --> 00:11:14,474
But maybe I'll throw in
a handful of those butterscotches he likes.
339
00:11:14,607 --> 00:11:15,943
That's not a prank!
340
00:11:16,076 --> 00:11:18,812
That's a cherished memory
of his impact as an educator!
341
00:11:18,946 --> 00:11:19,679
I'm coming with you.
342
00:11:19,813 --> 00:11:21,048
What? Why?
343
00:11:21,181 --> 00:11:24,117
My legacy as a badass
at William Penn Academy
344
00:11:24,251 --> 00:11:26,286
will be tarnished forever
if you do something
345
00:11:26,419 --> 00:11:28,221
like put a daisy
in everyone's locker.
346
00:11:28,355 --> 00:11:30,657
Ooh, maybe with
a little lavender for a playful pop of...
347
00:11:30,791 --> 00:11:32,960
Oh, my God.
You have to help me. Don't worry.
348
00:11:33,093 --> 00:11:35,695
With my know-how
and you having the keys, we can't lose.
349
00:11:35,829 --> 00:11:37,130
♪**♪
350
00:11:38,331 --> 00:11:40,433
Ha ha. Boom!
351
00:11:40,567 --> 00:11:43,070
This high-traffic area
is fully greased.
352
00:11:43,203 --> 00:11:45,138
Just adding some
finishing touches.
353
00:11:45,272 --> 00:11:46,506
What is that?
What are you doing?
354
00:11:46,639 --> 00:11:47,841
Adding rock salt.
355
00:11:47,975 --> 00:11:50,177
Don't want the floor
to be too slippery. Yes, you do.
356
00:11:50,310 --> 00:11:52,813
How is anyone gonna hurtle
themselves into the locker,
357
00:11:52,946 --> 00:11:55,015
possibly needing to go
to the hospital while everyone giggles?
358
00:11:55,148 --> 00:11:56,583
I don't want to
hurt anyone.
359
00:11:56,716 --> 00:11:58,518
Tell me you didn't take
the Saran Wrap off the toilets.
360
00:11:58,651 --> 00:12:00,653
Of course not!
I just hung up signs saying
361
00:12:00,788 --> 00:12:03,056
"Warning: these toilets
are Saran-Wrapped."
362
00:12:03,190 --> 00:12:04,557
You're gonna disgrace
the Goldberg name
363
00:12:04,691 --> 00:12:06,359
by not disgracing
the Goldberg name!
364
00:12:06,493 --> 00:12:08,095
I'm gonna go find
a locker to punch.
365
00:12:08,228 --> 00:12:09,329
And I'm gonna run
a mop over this
366
00:12:09,462 --> 00:12:10,898
to save the janitor
the trouble.
367
00:12:11,031 --> 00:12:12,532
ADULT ADAM: Barry was right.
368
00:12:12,665 --> 00:12:15,368
I was a good boy,
doomed to be forgotten...
369
00:12:15,502 --> 00:12:18,638
Until I saw something
that changed all of that.
370
00:12:18,772 --> 00:12:20,007
Where are you going?
371
00:12:20,140 --> 00:12:22,009
Home.
This was a huge mistake.
372
00:12:22,142 --> 00:12:24,077
I admit taking a Fanta
out onto the rink
373
00:12:24,211 --> 00:12:26,079
with all the signs telling
you not to was a big mistake,
374
00:12:26,213 --> 00:12:27,347
but we should talk.
375
00:12:27,480 --> 00:12:28,515
You want to talk?
376
00:12:28,648 --> 00:12:30,250
You're famously bad at that.
377
00:12:30,383 --> 00:12:32,452
Yeah, that's because
I'm usually tired, bored, or disinterested,
378
00:12:32,585 --> 00:12:33,921
or there's something
better on TV.
379
00:12:34,054 --> 00:12:35,588
But I'm good.
Let's talk.
380
00:12:35,722 --> 00:12:37,424
Fine. Let's talk.
381
00:12:37,557 --> 00:12:39,292
ADULT ADAM: And so,just like the last Daddy Daughter Day,
382
00:12:39,426 --> 00:12:41,829
my dad got my sister
to open up.
383
00:12:41,962 --> 00:12:44,397
Geoff was the first boy who
ever told me that he loved me.
384
00:12:44,531 --> 00:12:46,566
Of course, this time
it wasn't teenage girl stuff.
385
00:12:46,699 --> 00:12:49,402
It was real adult
relationship stuff.
386
00:12:49,536 --> 00:12:52,205
I mean, he ate what I ate,
watched what I watched,
387
00:12:52,339 --> 00:12:53,773
yawned when I yawned...
388
00:12:53,907 --> 00:12:55,275
Which is a natural
reaction to yawns,
389
00:12:55,408 --> 00:12:56,609
but I mean, come on, man.
390
00:12:56,743 --> 00:12:57,911
Yawn for yourself.
391
00:12:58,045 --> 00:13:00,247
But then,
something insane happened.
392
00:13:00,380 --> 00:13:03,116
My dad actually
rose to the occasion.
393
00:13:03,250 --> 00:13:04,317
And how'd that
make you feel?
394
00:13:04,451 --> 00:13:06,553
Wait, are you actually
engaging me on this topic?
395
00:13:06,686 --> 00:13:09,957
It doesn't come naturally,
but tell me about the pain.
396
00:13:10,090 --> 00:13:11,758
ADULT ADAM: It was amazing.
397
00:13:11,892 --> 00:13:13,927
My dad didn't justlisten to Erica, he was there for her.
398
00:13:14,061 --> 00:13:15,795
Not a day goes by
I'm not terrified
399
00:13:15,929 --> 00:13:17,430
that I completely
destroyed my life.
400
00:13:17,564 --> 00:13:19,266
You know what I mean?
I do.
401
00:13:19,399 --> 00:13:22,802
Normally, all the deep talkand intimate details would have spun our dad out...
402
00:13:22,936 --> 00:13:24,304
And I miss his kiss.
403
00:13:24,437 --> 00:13:26,006
He weirdly had
the softest lips,
404
00:13:26,139 --> 00:13:27,307
and he didn't even
use ChapStick.
405
00:13:27,440 --> 00:13:28,575
...but not today.
406
00:13:28,708 --> 00:13:30,810
It's the small things
that we miss the most.
407
00:13:30,944 --> 00:13:34,247
Dad, I can't believe
I'm saying this, but thanks.
408
00:13:34,381 --> 00:13:36,249
It feels really good
to talk about this stuff.
409
00:13:36,383 --> 00:13:37,750
JOHNNY: Attention,
rink-rollers.
410
00:13:37,885 --> 00:13:39,586
It's closing time.
411
00:13:39,719 --> 00:13:41,922
You don't have to roll home,
but you can't roll here.
412
00:13:42,055 --> 00:13:43,356
Well, that was fun.
413
00:13:43,490 --> 00:13:45,225
Well, why should it
end now?
414
00:13:45,358 --> 00:13:46,960
Let's turn
our Daddy Daughter Day
415
00:13:47,094 --> 00:13:48,461
into a Daddy Daughter Night.
416
00:13:48,595 --> 00:13:51,131
What a weird
and uncomfortable turn of phrase,
417
00:13:51,264 --> 00:13:53,100
but what do we even do?
418
00:13:53,233 --> 00:13:55,302
Wait. Did you give
that voucher to Barry?
419
00:13:55,435 --> 00:13:57,004
You mean the one that's
for my anniversary dinner?
420
00:13:57,137 --> 00:13:59,472
You mean our
Daddy Daughter Dinner?
421
00:13:59,606 --> 00:14:01,975
Come on. I was right
about this, wasn't I?
422
00:14:02,109 --> 00:14:04,844
Not only that,
but they have beef Wellington!
423
00:14:04,978 --> 00:14:07,347
That's meat inside
a loaf of bread.
424
00:14:07,480 --> 00:14:08,648
Science is real.
425
00:14:08,781 --> 00:14:10,017
I guess.
426
00:14:10,150 --> 00:14:11,985
Dinner with my Peanut!
Hoo-hoo-hoo!
427
00:14:12,119 --> 00:14:13,153
Erica.
428
00:14:13,286 --> 00:14:14,787
So... How's your mom?
429
00:14:14,922 --> 00:14:15,855
She ever mention me?
430
00:14:15,989 --> 00:14:17,324
Actually, yes.
431
00:14:17,457 --> 00:14:19,026
She's constantly
reminding me and my brothers
432
00:14:19,159 --> 00:14:21,194
that if we don't try hard
and graduate from college,
433
00:14:21,328 --> 00:14:22,629
then we'll end up like
Johnny Atkins.
434
00:14:22,762 --> 00:14:23,696
Noice!
435
00:14:23,830 --> 00:14:25,698
Say "what's up" back.
(CHUCKLES)
436
00:14:25,832 --> 00:14:28,335
ADULT ADAM: While my dadand Erica were off to a fancy meal,
437
00:14:28,468 --> 00:14:32,439
I was on my way to schoolto dress up our distinguished namesake.
438
00:14:32,572 --> 00:14:34,274
It's our beloved
founder...
439
00:14:34,407 --> 00:14:36,309
Dressed in a way I think would
make him uncomfortable if he were alive.
440
00:14:36,443 --> 00:14:37,877
The dork you've trusted
with nothing
441
00:14:38,011 --> 00:14:39,312
has done that
which you could not.
442
00:14:39,980 --> 00:14:41,614
Bowie. Nice!
443
00:14:41,748 --> 00:14:43,416
Now that's a prank.
(LAUGHS)
444
00:14:43,550 --> 00:14:46,053
Oh, no.
His stern demeanor has been vanquished.
445
00:14:46,186 --> 00:14:47,654
Who would do such a thing?
446
00:14:47,787 --> 00:14:48,821
'Tis I!
447
00:14:48,956 --> 00:14:50,157
Goldberg, move.
448
00:14:50,290 --> 00:14:52,025
Somebody behind you
just admitted it
449
00:14:52,159 --> 00:14:53,493
in the stupidest
possible way.
450
00:14:53,626 --> 00:14:54,894
No, it was Goldberg.
451
00:14:55,028 --> 00:14:56,896
He's mocking William Penn
and you at the same time.
452
00:14:57,030 --> 00:14:58,431
I'm best friends
with the guy who did that.
453
00:14:58,565 --> 00:14:59,699
And I'm dating him.
454
00:14:59,832 --> 00:15:01,534
And look! I said it out loud
without any hesitation.
455
00:15:01,668 --> 00:15:03,303
STUDENTS: (CHANTING)
Adam! Adam!
456
00:15:03,436 --> 00:15:05,038
Schmoo, I don't understand.
457
00:15:05,172 --> 00:15:06,673
Is this part of
the mother-son prank?
458
00:15:06,806 --> 00:15:09,842
Sorry, Mom,
but there's no such thing as a mother-son prank.
459
00:15:09,977 --> 00:15:12,679
But you're a good boy who
would never deceive his mama.
460
00:15:12,812 --> 00:15:15,348
Turns out I'm a bad boy
who feeds off the adulation of my peers.
461
00:15:15,482 --> 00:15:16,449
I'm a legend!
462
00:15:16,583 --> 00:15:18,318
We did it, Billy P!
463
00:15:18,451 --> 00:15:19,752
(RUMBLE)
464
00:15:19,886 --> 00:15:21,688
Oh, no. Somebody stop it!
465
00:15:21,821 --> 00:15:23,356
It's heading directly
for my sweet ride!
466
00:15:24,857 --> 00:15:25,658
(GASPS)
467
00:15:27,227 --> 00:15:29,029
Oh, balls!
Oh, no, please!
468
00:15:29,162 --> 00:15:30,397
Oh, no.
469
00:15:30,530 --> 00:15:32,765
I'm not a mechanic,
but these things buff out, right?
470
00:15:32,899 --> 00:15:34,567
Adam, you're in
big trouble.
471
00:15:34,701 --> 00:15:37,037
You did the one thing
I asked you not to,
472
00:15:37,170 --> 00:15:40,407
and you destroyed
a beloved faculty member's only mode of transportation.
473
00:15:40,540 --> 00:15:41,708
It's okay.
BEVERLY: And what's worse,
474
00:15:41,841 --> 00:15:44,111
you gently lied about
celebrating our love
475
00:15:44,244 --> 00:15:45,578
in front of
your friends and teachers.
476
00:15:45,712 --> 00:15:47,680
ADULT ADAM: While my prank
had gone sour,
477
00:15:47,814 --> 00:15:51,884
my sister and Dadwere enjoying the sweet life at Philly's best restaurant.
478
00:15:52,019 --> 00:15:53,653
Welcome, lovers.
479
00:15:53,786 --> 00:15:55,322
Mademoiselle Erica.
Monsieur Geoff.
480
00:15:55,455 --> 00:15:56,689
Uh, no lovers.
481
00:15:56,823 --> 00:15:58,758
I'm not Geoff.
I'm the girl's father.
482
00:15:58,891 --> 00:16:00,093
It is your night.
483
00:16:00,227 --> 00:16:01,294
You are whoever
you want to be.
484
00:16:01,428 --> 00:16:03,563
Geoff must have
planned this months ago.
485
00:16:03,696 --> 00:16:05,432
This is a culinary journey
through our relationship.
486
00:16:05,565 --> 00:16:07,800
Okay, could you take
these menus and just bring in the regular ones?
487
00:16:07,934 --> 00:16:09,669
But that would be
an entirely new charge.
488
00:16:09,802 --> 00:16:11,971
We'll push through.
Ohh, look at the back.
489
00:16:12,105 --> 00:16:13,606
Why don't you just
bring us the food?
490
00:16:13,740 --> 00:16:15,408
Dad, I just don't
feel right about this.
491
00:16:15,542 --> 00:16:17,177
So we had a little hiccup
with the menu.
492
00:16:17,310 --> 00:16:18,278
We're gonna have
a great time.
493
00:16:18,411 --> 00:16:20,113
ADULT ADAM: But they weren't.
494
00:16:20,247 --> 00:16:21,381
They super weren't.
495
00:16:21,514 --> 00:16:23,583
Looks exactly like
my prom corsage.
496
00:16:24,817 --> 00:16:25,918
Not anymore.
497
00:16:26,053 --> 00:16:27,554
Bon appetit.
498
00:16:27,687 --> 00:16:29,122
ADULT ADAM: And it only
got worse from there.
499
00:16:29,256 --> 00:16:32,025
For mademoiselle,
your favorite, coq au vin,
500
00:16:32,159 --> 00:16:34,727
and for the gentleman,
trout almondine.
501
00:16:34,861 --> 00:16:36,463
Why is it cut
into teensy pieces?
502
00:16:36,596 --> 00:16:39,132
Geoff was terrified
of choking, 'cause he always did.
503
00:16:39,266 --> 00:16:40,533
God, I miss him so much.
504
00:16:40,667 --> 00:16:42,169
Don't, because
he wasn't special.
505
00:16:42,302 --> 00:16:45,138
All men like a pre-cut
piece of trout. (LAUGHS)
506
00:16:45,272 --> 00:16:47,774
There's no way
I'm ordering pizza later.
507
00:16:47,907 --> 00:16:50,310
ADULT ADAM: And then
he brought out the face cake.
508
00:16:50,443 --> 00:16:52,312
Really, guy?
I can't even look at it.
509
00:16:52,445 --> 00:16:55,848
♪**♪
510
00:16:55,982 --> 00:16:57,450
Mm. Oh, my God.
511
00:16:57,584 --> 00:16:59,619
There's chocolate mousse
on the inside!
512
00:16:59,752 --> 00:17:02,055
Like the moose that we saw
when we went upstate.
513
00:17:02,189 --> 00:17:03,123
I believe that was
the intention.
514
00:17:03,256 --> 00:17:04,757
You're not getting
a tip.
515
00:17:04,891 --> 00:17:06,426
You already
generously included it, Monsieur Schwartz.
516
00:17:06,559 --> 00:17:07,527
I'm not him!
517
00:17:07,660 --> 00:17:08,895
Why can't you get that?
518
00:17:09,028 --> 00:17:11,364
Why can't you get that
I didn't want to come here?
519
00:17:11,498 --> 00:17:14,033
Peanut...
No, don't "Peanut" me.
520
00:17:14,167 --> 00:17:16,669
I don't know why I thought
you of all people would make me feel better.
521
00:17:16,803 --> 00:17:17,837
(SCOFFS)
522
00:17:22,575 --> 00:17:23,810
ADULT ADAM: After
destroying my legacy
523
00:17:23,943 --> 00:17:26,213
and the coolest teacher
in school's motorcycle,
524
00:17:26,346 --> 00:17:28,481
there was nothing left to do
but apologize.
525
00:17:28,615 --> 00:17:31,484
Hey, Mr. P.
I heard that you take the bus now that...
526
00:17:31,618 --> 00:17:32,985
My bike was flattened
by a Quaker
527
00:17:33,120 --> 00:17:34,487
dressed like
an omnisexual rock god?
528
00:17:34,621 --> 00:17:36,356
Quick and to the point.
529
00:17:36,489 --> 00:17:37,824
Wait, why are you
on the bus?
530
00:17:37,957 --> 00:17:39,659
My mom's form of
punishment.
531
00:17:39,792 --> 00:17:41,561
But hey, this isn't so bad,
am I right?
532
00:17:41,694 --> 00:17:43,062
You are not.
533
00:17:43,196 --> 00:17:44,431
I used to be
king of the road.
534
00:17:44,564 --> 00:17:47,500
Now I ride a yellow bus
with children.
535
00:17:47,634 --> 00:17:48,668
Damn it!
536
00:17:48,801 --> 00:17:50,803
Was that your spitball,
Levi Douglas?
537
00:17:50,937 --> 00:17:52,205
I will go over
these seats!
538
00:17:52,339 --> 00:17:54,507
It's like the bus kids
don't know how cool you are.
539
00:17:54,641 --> 00:17:56,676
They don't.
You see these shades?
540
00:17:56,809 --> 00:17:58,711
One of these lame-os asked me
if they were medical.
541
00:17:58,845 --> 00:18:00,280
You're medical!
542
00:18:00,413 --> 00:18:01,848
If you want
to hate me forever, I wouldn't blame you.
543
00:18:01,981 --> 00:18:03,015
Oh, please.
544
00:18:03,150 --> 00:18:04,284
I know you're a good kid.
545
00:18:04,417 --> 00:18:05,852
(LAUGHTER)
546
00:18:05,985 --> 00:18:07,887
Unlike Scott Wasserman!
547
00:18:08,020 --> 00:18:09,322
I will date your mom!
548
00:18:09,456 --> 00:18:11,358
But I ruined everything
for you.
549
00:18:11,491 --> 00:18:13,293
You were just trying to
make your mark,
550
00:18:13,426 --> 00:18:14,594
but you didn't realize
you already had.
551
00:18:14,727 --> 00:18:16,363
As a nerdy everyman?
552
00:18:16,496 --> 00:18:18,030
Being a nerd
is not that special.
553
00:18:18,165 --> 00:18:19,699
That's kind of
my whole schtick.
554
00:18:19,832 --> 00:18:21,701
But you're not gonna be
remembered that way.
555
00:18:21,834 --> 00:18:25,205
You're gonna be remembered
as a sweet, thoughtful kid that everyone likes.
556
00:18:25,338 --> 00:18:28,040
I can't believe you can still
think those things about me after what I did.
557
00:18:28,175 --> 00:18:29,876
One mistake doesn't
change who you are.
558
00:18:30,009 --> 00:18:31,544
But let's just
keep it to one. Definitely.
559
00:18:32,945 --> 00:18:35,114
Pudding, huh?
Okay.
560
00:18:35,248 --> 00:18:37,417
Ol' Perott's got
hard-boiled eggs!
561
00:18:37,550 --> 00:18:39,886
You brought a knife
to a gunfight!
562
00:18:40,019 --> 00:18:43,089
ADULT ADAM: Thanks tothe coolest teacher in school, I was off the hook.
563
00:18:43,223 --> 00:18:45,892
But the same couldn't
be said for my dad.
564
00:18:46,025 --> 00:18:49,262
♪**♪
565
00:18:49,396 --> 00:18:51,631
You were right.
I was so over my head.
566
00:18:51,764 --> 00:18:53,065
Okay, well,
I'll take over from here.
567
00:18:53,200 --> 00:18:54,133
No, no, no, no.
568
00:18:54,267 --> 00:18:55,402
I'm not giving up.
569
00:18:55,535 --> 00:18:58,070
No offense, but giving up
is kind of your thing.
570
00:18:58,205 --> 00:18:59,306
Not tonight.
571
00:18:59,439 --> 00:19:02,108
(ROXY MUSIC'S
MORE THAN THIS PLAYS)
572
00:19:02,242 --> 00:19:05,912
♪**♪
573
00:19:06,045 --> 00:19:07,880
Oh, my God, Dad.
Please, no more.
574
00:19:08,681 --> 00:19:10,483
Get this...
575
00:19:10,617 --> 00:19:12,919
There's nothing I can do
to help you.
576
00:19:13,052 --> 00:19:14,487
That's it?
577
00:19:14,621 --> 00:19:17,290
I mean, even with
no expectations, that's brutal, man.
578
00:19:17,424 --> 00:19:18,858
I know
I'm no good at this,
579
00:19:18,991 --> 00:19:20,159
but I can't stand to
see you like this.
580
00:19:20,293 --> 00:19:21,528
Look at you.
581
00:19:21,661 --> 00:19:22,895
It's like
you actually care.
582
00:19:23,029 --> 00:19:24,431
I do care,
583
00:19:24,564 --> 00:19:27,133
more than you could
possibly know.
584
00:19:27,267 --> 00:19:28,568
But... (SIGHS)
585
00:19:28,701 --> 00:19:30,237
Breakups are really hard,
586
00:19:30,370 --> 00:19:32,205
and the only thing
you can do is live through it.
587
00:19:32,339 --> 00:19:34,974
So you tried distracting me
with roller skating?
588
00:19:35,107 --> 00:19:36,175
I blew it.
589
00:19:36,309 --> 00:19:37,344
Not entirely.
590
00:19:37,477 --> 00:19:39,512
Like that time you fell.
591
00:19:39,646 --> 00:19:40,980
And then that other time
you fell.
592
00:19:41,113 --> 00:19:42,749
I stink at roller skating.
593
00:19:42,882 --> 00:19:44,116
Yeah, but you are
a pretty okay dad.
594
00:19:44,884 --> 00:19:46,152
Look at you.
595
00:19:46,286 --> 00:19:48,355
I came in here to
make you feel better,
596
00:19:48,488 --> 00:19:49,822
and you're making me
feel better.
597
00:19:49,956 --> 00:19:51,624
Well, what can I say?
I'm a pretty okay daughter.
598
00:19:51,758 --> 00:19:52,625
I think...
599
00:19:53,326 --> 00:19:54,627
You're the best daughter.
600
00:19:55,094 --> 00:19:56,663
The unicorn?
601
00:19:56,796 --> 00:19:58,531
How many quarters
did you spend to get this?
602
00:19:58,665 --> 00:20:01,801
Too many, and then I had to
bribe your scary friend to open up the machine.
603
00:20:03,303 --> 00:20:04,837
** More than this...
604
00:20:04,971 --> 00:20:06,873
ADULT ADAM: Sometimes
we spend so much time
605
00:20:07,006 --> 00:20:09,175
worrying about
the relationships we lost
606
00:20:09,309 --> 00:20:11,511
that we forget about
the ones we still have.
607
00:20:11,644 --> 00:20:12,945
Where are you taking me?
608
00:20:13,079 --> 00:20:14,447
You'll see.
609
00:20:15,515 --> 00:20:18,050
(GASPS)
The mother-son prank!
610
00:20:18,184 --> 00:20:22,522
Ohh! Only it's not a prank
and it says all the words!
611
00:20:22,655 --> 00:20:23,923
I'm sorry
I tricked you.
612
00:20:24,056 --> 00:20:24,824
(SIGHS)
613
00:20:25,858 --> 00:20:27,994
Adam, I'm never
gonna forget this.
614
00:20:28,127 --> 00:20:29,862
And neither will
the rest of the school.
615
00:20:29,996 --> 00:20:31,163
(BOTH CHUCKLE)
616
00:20:31,298 --> 00:20:33,400
ADULT ADAM: Yeah,
it's impossible to know
617
00:20:33,533 --> 00:20:34,901
exactly how
you'll be remembered,
618
00:20:36,336 --> 00:20:39,572
but what we can control
is the love we give
619
00:20:39,706 --> 00:20:41,173
and the time we take
620
00:20:41,308 --> 00:20:45,312
to actually be there
for each other.
621
00:20:45,445 --> 00:20:49,716
In the end, that's a legacy
anyone would be proud to have.
622
00:20:51,718 --> 00:20:53,019
** More than this **
623
00:20:53,152 --> 00:20:54,921
♪**♪
624
00:21:02,995 --> 00:21:04,631
Whoo! You still
got it, Mama.
625
00:21:04,764 --> 00:21:06,466
Yes, you do! Mm.
626
00:21:06,599 --> 00:21:08,067
Truer words have
never been spoken.
627
00:21:08,200 --> 00:21:09,436
Johnny Atkins?
628
00:21:09,569 --> 00:21:11,070
Someone's got
Johnny on the brain.
629
00:21:11,203 --> 00:21:12,872
I'll tell the kids
I ran into you.
630
00:21:13,005 --> 00:21:15,107
Or we can
run into each other over drinks.
631
00:21:15,241 --> 00:21:16,843
I'm sorry?
You will be!
632
00:21:16,976 --> 00:21:18,210
Wh... Carla?
633
00:21:18,345 --> 00:21:19,646
I thought you died!
634
00:21:19,779 --> 00:21:20,980
Just for six minutes.
635
00:21:21,113 --> 00:21:23,115
And you're the one that's in
trouble, talking to my man!
636
00:21:23,249 --> 00:21:25,718
How dare either of you
speak to me like that.
637
00:21:25,852 --> 00:21:27,587
You're lucky I don't
call your parents.
638
00:21:27,720 --> 00:21:28,955
She just got hotter.
639
00:21:29,005 --> 00:21:33,555
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