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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:05,000 --> 00:00:55,000 会日语，愿意一起制作字幕的小伙伴，欢迎加入我们。加入方法：请发送私信“我要加入”给A站或B站官方up号：猪肉熟了，或官方微博:SUBPIG猪猪日剧字幕组，或官方微信号:猪猪日部落。 2 00:02:30,000 --> 00:02:40,000 海报&时间 3 00:02:30,000 --> 00:02:40,000 Mushroom 4 00:02:30,000 --> 00:02:40,000 Mushroom 5 00:02:30,000 --> 00:02:40,000 Mushroom 6 00:02:30,000 --> 00:02:40,000 Mushroom 7 00:02:30,000 --> 00:02:40,000 Mushroom 8 00:02:45,000 --> 00:02:55,000 翻译 9 00:02:45,000 --> 00:02:55,000 anrin&Akane 10 00:02:45,000 --> 00:02:55,000 anrin&Akane 11 00:02:45,000 --> 00:02:55,000 anrin&Akane 12 00:02:45,000 --> 00:02:55,000 anrin&Akane 13 00:02:45,000 --> 00:02:55,000 anrin&Akane 14 00:03:00,000 --> 00:03:10,000 翻译 15 00:03:00,000 --> 00:03:10,000 甜酱&就是酱子 16 00:03:00,000 --> 00:03:10,000 甜酱&就是酱子 17 00:03:00,000 --> 00:03:10,000 甜酱&就是酱子 18 00:03:00,000 --> 00:03:10,000 甜酱&就是酱子 19 00:03:00,000 --> 00:03:10,000 甜酱&就是酱子 20 00:03:15,000 --> 00:03:25,000 翻译 21 00:03:15,000 --> 00:03:25,000 白久&白夜 22 00:03:15,000 --> 00:03:25,000 白久&白夜 23 00:03:15,000 --> 00:03:25,000 白久&白夜 24 00:03:15,000 --> 00:03:25,000 白久&白夜 25 00:03:15,000 --> 00:03:25,000 白久&白夜 26 00:03:30,000 --> 00:03:40,000 翻译 27 00:03:30,000 --> 00:03:40,000 余成 28 00:03:30,000 --> 00:03:40,000 余成 29 00:03:30,000 --> 00:03:40,000 余成 30 00:03:30,000 --> 00:03:40,000 余成 31 00:03:30,000 --> 00:03:40,000 余成 32 00:03:45,000 --> 00:03:55,000 校对 33 00:03:45,000 --> 00:03:55,000 清清 34 00:03:45,000 --> 00:03:55,000 清清 35 00:03:45,000 --> 00:03:55,000 清清 36 00:03:45,000 --> 00:03:55,000 清清 37 00:03:45,000 --> 00:03:55,000 清清 38 00:04:00,000 --> 00:04:10,000 时间 39 00:04:00,000 --> 00:04:10,000 shilly 40 00:04:00,000 --> 00:04:10,000 shilly 41 00:04:00,000 --> 00:04:10,000 shilly 42 00:04:00,000 --> 00:04:10,000 shilly 43 00:04:00,000 --> 00:04:10,000 shilly 44 00:04:15,000 --> 00:04:25,000 时间 45 00:04:15,000 --> 00:04:25,000 三四&阿薇 46 00:04:15,000 --> 00:04:25,000 三四&阿薇 47 00:04:15,000 --> 00:04:25,000 三四&阿薇 48 00:04:15,000 --> 00:04:25,000 三四&阿薇 49 00:04:15,000 --> 00:04:25,000 三四&阿薇 50 00:04:30,000 --> 00:04:40,000 时间 51 00:04:30,000 --> 00:04:40,000 的的&石榴 52 00:04:30,000 --> 00:04:40,000 的的&石榴 53 00:04:30,000 --> 00:04:40,000 的的&石榴 54 00:04:30,000 --> 00:04:40,000 的的&石榴 55 00:04:30,000 --> 00:04:40,000 的的&石榴 56 00:04:45,000 --> 00:04:55,000 后期 57 00:04:45,000 --> 00:04:55,000 mamengji 58 00:04:45,000 --> 00:04:55,000 mamengji 59 00:04:45,000 --> 00:04:55,000 mamengji 60 00:04:45,000 --> 00:04:55,000 mamengji 61 00:04:45,000 --> 00:04:55,000 mamengji 62 00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:10,000 片源 63 00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:10,000 TTG 64 00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:10,000 TTG 65 00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:10,000 TTG 66 00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:10,000 TTG 67 00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:10,000 TTG 68 00:00:42,590 --> 00:00:45,380 山下 你醒着吗 69 00:00:46,850 --> 00:00:47,540 嗯 70 00:00:48,660 --> 00:00:50,480 看昨天的漫才比赛了吗 71 00:00:50,800 --> 00:00:56,300 看了 马油和芦荟的漫才最搞笑 虽然他们没赢 72 00:00:56,900 --> 00:00:58,060 你也这么觉得啊 73 00:00:59,820 --> 00:01:00,540 我说 74 00:01:00,790 --> 00:01:02,450 咱们两个一起搞漫才吧 75 00:01:02,450 --> 00:01:05,320 我觉得和你的话肯定能做出特别搞笑的漫才 76 00:01:05,320 --> 00:01:08,240 然后我想称霸全世界 再买辆法拉利 77 00:01:09,050 --> 00:01:10,450 什么颜色的 78 00:01:10,450 --> 00:01:11,680 灰色的 79 00:01:11,910 --> 00:01:15,580 飙到高速之后就和沥青融为一体 超帅的 80 00:01:15,580 --> 00:01:16,950 你是傻瓜吧 81 00:01:16,950 --> 00:01:18,250 然后还有一点 82 00:01:21,220 --> 00:01:21,870 什么 83 00:01:25,790 --> 00:01:26,680 你忘了？ 84 00:01:29,270 --> 00:01:29,950 嗯 85 00:01:33,790 --> 00:01:36,220 你果然是个傻瓜啊 86 00:02:32,250 --> 00:02:33,760 你没事吧 87 00:02:36,380 --> 00:02:38,590 在做什么呢 88 00:02:39,090 --> 00:02:40,890 没事吧 89 00:02:40,890 --> 00:02:42,930 喂 没事吧 90 00:02:42,930 --> 00:02:45,470 你在做什么呢 91 00:02:45,470 --> 00:02:47,560 为什么埋在沙子里啊 92 00:02:47,560 --> 00:02:49,770 为什么在吸烟啊 93 00:02:49,770 --> 00:02:52,080 连脸都快被埋进去了 94 00:02:53,110 --> 00:02:54,110 很奇怪吧 95 00:02:54,800 --> 00:02:56,860 你是谁呀 96 00:02:57,360 --> 00:02:59,200 -真奇怪啊 -很奇怪吧 97 00:02:59,700 --> 00:03:04,160 （热海银座） 98 00:03:14,930 --> 00:03:16,430 欢迎光临 99 00:03:27,390 --> 00:03:31,910 -大家好 我们是Sparks -请多多指教 100 00:03:31,910 --> 00:03:36,160 我叫德永 他呢虽然难以启齿 叫作山下 101 00:03:36,160 --> 00:03:39,250 有什么难以启齿的啊 山下这名字多普通 102 00:03:39,250 --> 00:03:41,520 -我是山下 -请多指教 -请多指教 103 00:03:41,520 --> 00:03:43,840 我们两个以Sparks的组合进行活动 104 00:03:43,840 --> 00:03:46,130 离开之前请至少记住我们的名字和脸哦 105 00:03:46,130 --> 00:03:47,850 如果有更厉害的人呢 除了脸和名字 106 00:03:47,850 --> 00:03:52,110 还要记住老家 血型 喜欢的女生类型之类的哦 107 00:03:52,110 --> 00:03:53,850 资讯量太大了吧你这家伙 108 00:03:53,940 --> 00:03:55,930 什么啊你 这样大家哪能记住最关键的漫才啊 109 00:03:55,930 --> 00:03:57,730 -只记住名字和脸就够了 -是吗 110 00:03:57,730 --> 00:03:59,230 -搭档你听我说啊 -什么 111 00:03:59,230 --> 00:04:01,780 我自己一个人住有点寂寞 想养只宠物 112 00:04:02,640 --> 00:04:05,220 -养宠物的话 你养只鹦鹉吧 -鹦鹉？ 113 00:04:05,220 --> 00:04:07,390 养鹦鹉的话 总跟你说话 会很开心的 114 00:04:07,390 --> 00:04:10,180 -原来如此 能和宠物对话确实很开心 -是吧 115 00:04:10,180 --> 00:04:11,960 它会跟我说什么呢 116 00:04:11,960 --> 00:04:14,050 要缴纳养老金哦 哪怕是一点点缴纳也行 117 00:04:14,050 --> 00:04:16,170 我是临死之时的老头子吗 118 00:04:16,170 --> 00:04:19,080 那个死角就那样了吧 119 00:04:20,800 --> 00:04:22,740 鹦鹉才不会在意那种事情呢 120 00:04:23,530 --> 00:04:25,990 我有件重要的事情要和你说 121 00:04:25,990 --> 00:04:29,920 是什么啊 好想知道鹦鹉重要的事情是什么啊 122 00:04:29,920 --> 00:04:32,660 你从昨天开始就… 123 00:04:37,510 --> 00:04:38,420 太慢了 124 00:04:41,440 --> 00:04:44,370 -有趣吗 -根本不认识 125 00:04:45,100 --> 00:04:47,270 说点搞笑的东西来听听啊 126 00:04:47,270 --> 00:04:49,310 更搞笑一点啊 127 00:04:49,310 --> 00:04:51,840 逗我们笑啊 128 00:04:55,250 --> 00:04:56,880 你不懊恼吗 129 00:04:56,880 --> 00:04:58,570 鹦鹉会说那种话吗 130 00:05:08,950 --> 00:05:10,990 快点啊喂 131 00:05:12,080 --> 00:05:14,160 叫你们快点啊 132 00:05:14,430 --> 00:05:17,150 你才是鹦鹉 133 00:05:26,280 --> 00:05:28,550 感谢各位观看 134 00:05:35,480 --> 00:05:36,710 我帮你报仇 135 00:05:47,900 --> 00:05:51,000 大家好 我们是傻瓜二人组 请多指教 136 00:05:51,110 --> 00:05:55,800 -大家今天这是来参加烟花大会吗 -烟花真美啊 137 00:05:55,800 --> 00:05:59,620 比起段子 表演咚咚的烟花是不是会有更多人看啊 138 00:05:59,620 --> 00:06:02,450 两个人在这里咚咚叫有什么意思啊 139 00:06:02,450 --> 00:06:04,410 咚 140 00:06:05,860 --> 00:06:08,440 咚 141 00:06:09,200 --> 00:06:12,540 你看我都说过了嘛 观众都一脸懵逼了 142 00:06:12,600 --> 00:06:13,570 呼呜呜… 143 00:06:15,040 --> 00:06:16,100 咚 144 00:06:16,100 --> 00:06:19,400 没差的 你这家伙 加上呼呜呜也是没用的 145 00:06:19,400 --> 00:06:22,560 烟花又不只是听觉的享受啦 你这家伙 146 00:06:22,560 --> 00:06:25,080 我这个人通灵能力很强 147 00:06:25,080 --> 00:06:30,420 只要看面相就知道这人是上天堂还是下地狱的 148 00:06:30,420 --> 00:06:32,570 有什么奇怪的东西出现了哦 149 00:06:34,040 --> 00:06:37,200 -地狱 -谁下地狱啊 150 00:06:37,200 --> 00:06:42,020 -不好意思 -地狱 地狱 151 00:06:42,020 --> 00:06:49,230 地狱 地狱 地狱… 152 00:06:49,230 --> 00:06:52,700 什么嘛 这不全都是罪人吗 你们正经点吧 153 00:06:52,700 --> 00:06:54,070 你才该正经点吧 154 00:06:54,070 --> 00:06:56,230 -太无聊了 说点有意思的啊 -地狱 155 00:06:56,230 --> 00:06:58,300 -地狱 -搞什么啊 喂 156 00:06:58,300 --> 00:07:01,820 地狱 地狱… 157 00:07:01,820 --> 00:07:07,970 地狱 地狱… 158 00:07:08,480 --> 00:07:10,610 地狱 159 00:07:11,630 --> 00:07:12,620 地狱 160 00:07:14,430 --> 00:07:15,290 地狱 161 00:07:17,660 --> 00:07:18,530 地狱 162 00:07:18,760 --> 00:07:22,040 地狱 地狱 163 00:07:23,240 --> 00:07:24,500 地狱 164 00:07:29,130 --> 00:07:32,510 -地狱 地狱 -来啊你 165 00:07:42,060 --> 00:07:43,860 快乐的地狱 166 00:07:49,340 --> 00:07:54,060 地狱 地狱 地狱 167 00:07:54,060 --> 00:07:57,780 地狱 地狱 地狱 地狱 168 00:07:57,780 --> 00:07:58,660 地狱 169 00:07:59,910 --> 00:08:03,610 你们是不是有点小看我们地方的主办方啊 170 00:08:05,170 --> 00:08:07,180 叫你们来是表演漫才的 171 00:08:07,700 --> 00:08:09,600 打架很让我们困扰啊 172 00:08:09,600 --> 00:08:11,770 -辛苦了 -辛苦了 -谢谢了 173 00:08:13,420 --> 00:08:14,420 那个 174 00:08:15,460 --> 00:08:18,370 地狱地狱什么的哪里好笑了 175 00:08:18,370 --> 00:08:19,990 我一点都没觉得好笑 176 00:08:19,990 --> 00:08:21,100 不好意思 177 00:08:22,720 --> 00:08:24,390 没看懂 大概是我的错吧 178 00:08:26,440 --> 00:08:29,330 总之我不会再请你们来了 179 00:08:31,240 --> 00:08:32,130 可以回去了 180 00:08:32,840 --> 00:08:34,760 -您辛苦了 -您辛苦了 181 00:08:34,930 --> 00:08:36,760 下周我给你打电话 182 00:08:38,340 --> 00:08:39,310 辛苦了 183 00:08:40,850 --> 00:08:42,400 你是东京的搞笑艺人吗 184 00:08:43,230 --> 00:08:44,240 要不要去喝一杯 185 00:08:45,810 --> 00:08:46,750 好 186 00:08:46,630 --> 00:08:49,300 （拉面·荞麦面） 187 00:08:53,220 --> 00:08:55,850 重新自我介绍一下 我是Sparks的德永 188 00:08:56,020 --> 00:08:57,570 我是傻瓜二人组的神谷 189 00:08:58,970 --> 00:09:01,490 那个 您的搭档没一起来吗 190 00:09:01,490 --> 00:09:03,820 -你们第几年了 -今年第二年 191 00:09:03,820 --> 00:09:05,410 原来如此 那个啊 192 00:09:05,410 --> 00:09:08,140 搞笑艺人是不会和搭档一起吃喝玩乐的 193 00:09:08,140 --> 00:09:09,810 私生活是互不相干的 194 00:09:09,810 --> 00:09:13,460 搭档至多是搭档 不是朋友也不是家人 195 00:09:13,710 --> 00:09:14,280 总之 196 00:09:15,740 --> 00:09:18,500 硬要说的话 是近在咫尺的对手 197 00:09:19,670 --> 00:09:20,840 谢谢啊 198 00:09:22,670 --> 00:09:24,470 你的拿法很奇怪啊 199 00:09:24,470 --> 00:09:25,910 -不好意思 -谢谢 200 00:09:27,580 --> 00:09:28,210 谢谢 201 00:09:28,420 --> 00:09:31,590 我们俩来到东京也没什么熟人 202 00:09:31,590 --> 00:09:34,980 事务所重心放在演员上 搞笑艺人只有我们俩 203 00:09:35,250 --> 00:09:36,750 到现在都还只是混日子 204 00:09:37,120 --> 00:09:41,280 不过我搭档山下跟中学就交往的女朋友同居 205 00:09:42,510 --> 00:09:45,340 几年以后就会变化很大的 206 00:09:46,680 --> 00:09:48,660 傻瓜二人组 这名字可真厉害啊 207 00:09:49,320 --> 00:09:51,510 我不擅长起名字 208 00:09:51,510 --> 00:09:54,950 我老爸总叫我傻瓜 我就照样用了 209 00:09:55,870 --> 00:09:58,340 你们的组合名字用英语 够帅气的啊 210 00:09:58,720 --> 00:10:00,240 你老爸都叫你什么 211 00:10:00,240 --> 00:10:01,500 爸爸 212 00:10:03,410 --> 00:10:04,190 就是这样 213 00:10:04,190 --> 00:10:06,780 你要吓死我 不要突然装傻啊 214 00:10:06,780 --> 00:10:08,880 我一瞬间都搞不懂是你在装傻 还是家庭环境复杂 215 00:10:08,880 --> 00:10:11,700 还是说真有个笨蛋老爸 216 00:10:11,700 --> 00:10:12,830 不好意思 217 00:10:12,830 --> 00:10:14,850 不用道歉啦 218 00:10:14,850 --> 00:10:17,380 想到什么就说什么吧 219 00:10:17,380 --> 00:10:18,130 是 220 00:10:18,550 --> 00:10:20,740 与之相对的 要逗人笑啊 221 00:10:20,740 --> 00:10:24,160 但是我认真问你问题的时候要好好回答 222 00:10:24,770 --> 00:10:25,730 是 223 00:10:26,680 --> 00:10:27,860 我再问你一次 224 00:10:29,260 --> 00:10:32,060 你老爸叫你什么 225 00:10:32,850 --> 00:10:34,870 All you need is love 226 00:10:34,870 --> 00:10:36,770 你叫你老爸什么 227 00:10:37,750 --> 00:10:38,620 极限村落 228 00:10:37,750 --> 00:10:38,620 （指老年人占人口50%以上 229 00:10:37,750 --> 00:10:38,620 社会生活难以维持的居住区） 230 00:10:38,620 --> 00:10:40,370 那你老妈叫你什么 231 00:10:41,440 --> 00:10:42,360 你像谁啊 232 00:10:42,360 --> 00:10:43,560 你叫你老妈什么 233 00:10:43,560 --> 00:10:46,100 真是的到底像谁啊 非要说的话像老妈吧 234 00:10:46,100 --> 00:10:47,610 还能不能正常聊天了 235 00:10:51,970 --> 00:10:54,690 两个人一起还这么耗费时间 236 00:10:54,690 --> 00:10:56,410 搞笑有这么难的吗 237 00:10:56,410 --> 00:10:58,550 我也差点要吐了 238 00:10:59,050 --> 00:11:01,070 咱们都还差得远啊 239 00:11:01,070 --> 00:11:03,010 总之先喝吧 我请客了 240 00:11:03,010 --> 00:11:04,190 不用 我也会付钱的 241 00:11:04,190 --> 00:11:07,600 你傻吗 前辈请后辈的客是理所应当的 242 00:11:12,480 --> 00:11:13,800 谢谢 243 00:11:14,150 --> 00:11:16,690 -你不要用这种奇怪的拿法啊 -不好意思 244 00:11:19,240 --> 00:11:19,850 那个 245 00:11:20,280 --> 00:11:20,740 嗯 246 00:11:21,680 --> 00:11:22,800 请收我做徒弟吧 247 00:11:25,800 --> 00:11:27,510 可以收我为徒吗 248 00:11:30,530 --> 00:11:32,560 -什么 你这是在装傻吗 -我是认真的 249 00:11:36,510 --> 00:11:37,280 好啊 250 00:11:39,630 --> 00:11:41,280 但是我有一个条件 251 00:11:41,280 --> 00:11:42,440 是什么 252 00:11:45,150 --> 00:11:47,800 我希望你不要忘了我 记住我 253 00:11:48,420 --> 00:11:49,250 你要死了吗 254 00:11:49,250 --> 00:11:50,300 你傻吗 255 00:11:50,300 --> 00:11:52,070 反正你很快就会忘记我了吧 256 00:11:52,070 --> 00:11:52,930 不会不会 257 00:11:52,930 --> 00:11:55,780 所以啊 我想要你近距离地观察我 258 00:11:55,780 --> 00:11:57,950 把我的言行记录下来 259 00:11:58,400 --> 00:12:00,270 为我写一本传记 260 00:12:00,270 --> 00:12:01,160 传记？ 261 00:12:02,180 --> 00:12:05,200 是啊 能够做到的话 我就把所有的本事都教给你 262 00:12:06,440 --> 00:12:08,400 要到最后的点餐时间了 263 00:12:08,400 --> 00:12:10,930 不好意思啊姐 能再给我们来两瓶吗 264 00:12:10,930 --> 00:12:13,720 可以哦 你们是来观光的吗 265 00:12:14,360 --> 00:12:15,970 我是土地神 266 00:12:17,980 --> 00:12:19,350 姐 您这是几个月了 267 00:12:19,350 --> 00:12:20,540 九个月了 268 00:12:20,540 --> 00:12:24,370 -就差一点了啊 可以摸一下吗 -可以的 269 00:12:25,710 --> 00:12:27,760 是个超可爱的女孩子 270 00:12:28,230 --> 00:12:29,440 能看出来吗 271 00:12:31,160 --> 00:12:32,960 -服务员 -来了 272 00:12:35,340 --> 00:12:36,740 -不过师父 -嗯？ 273 00:12:37,280 --> 00:12:41,830 传记是当事人死了之后才出版的吧 274 00:12:44,480 --> 00:12:48,320 别以为你会活得比我久 275 00:12:49,910 --> 00:12:54,370 生前先出版上册 死后再出版中册吧 276 00:12:54,370 --> 00:12:57,520 急着看下册的人会有怨言的啦 277 00:12:57,520 --> 00:13:00,080 那样才好玩呢 278 00:13:00,080 --> 00:13:01,250 -听好了 -是 279 00:13:01,250 --> 00:13:06,000 趁还活着 用你的文字把今天看到的事情写下来 280 00:13:06,980 --> 00:13:07,760 是 281 00:13:09,520 --> 00:13:11,090 真是家不错的店呢 282 00:13:11,090 --> 00:13:11,920 是啊 283 00:13:12,720 --> 00:13:14,460 不过啤酒有点温了 284 00:13:28,000 --> 00:13:30,000 今天十分感谢您的款待 285 00:13:30,000 --> 00:13:31,160 没事没事 286 00:13:31,160 --> 00:13:33,250 -谢谢您 -你往哪边走 287 00:13:33,250 --> 00:13:36,020 -我往这边 -是吗 那下回见啊 288 00:13:36,020 --> 00:13:36,800 好的 289 00:13:37,220 --> 00:13:39,100 -谢谢您了 -好的 290 00:13:48,010 --> 00:13:49,510 好痛 291 00:14:59,960 --> 00:15:04,290 （神谷传记 1） 292 00:15:37,100 --> 00:15:41,050 神谷先生隶属大阪一家大型事务所 293 00:15:41,050 --> 00:15:45,360 因此在东京活动的我很少有机会与他见面 294 00:15:46,350 --> 00:15:50,000 尽管如此 神谷先生还是会经常与我联系 295 00:15:51,280 --> 00:15:54,110 有时候我一整天下来都没跟人说话 296 00:15:51,180 --> 00:15:54,010 （神谷传记 2） 297 00:15:54,500 --> 00:15:56,900 这时只要手机一振动 298 00:15:56,900 --> 00:16:01,210 液晶显示幕上出现“神谷才藏”四个字时 299 00:16:01,210 --> 00:16:03,120 我的心便会雀跃起来 300 00:16:03,810 --> 00:16:04,700 您好 301 00:16:05,110 --> 00:16:06,700 好啊 你在哪里呢 302 00:16:07,040 --> 00:16:09,020 我在东京啊 303 00:16:09,410 --> 00:16:12,520 遇到热海那个垃圾主办方之后已经一年了呢 304 00:16:12,780 --> 00:16:14,960 什么啊那是 我可没去那种地方工作 305 00:16:14,960 --> 00:16:17,980 您在说什么啊 那上次的那是谁啊 306 00:16:17,980 --> 00:16:19,450 是土地神 307 00:16:19,450 --> 00:16:21,440 您这不是记得很清楚嘛 308 00:16:29,960 --> 00:16:31,760 德永在那里 309 00:16:35,130 --> 00:16:38,090 那我去打工啦 你结束后给我打电话哦 310 00:16:38,090 --> 00:16:40,000 -嗯 你小心点啊 -好 311 00:16:40,000 --> 00:16:42,840 -德永 你们加油啊 -嗯 312 00:16:49,620 --> 00:16:53,170 大家好 我们是Sparks 请多指教 313 00:16:53,170 --> 00:16:55,670 我想买个新电视机 314 00:16:55,670 --> 00:16:57,650 -但电视机不是很贵嘛 -是啊 315 00:16:57,650 --> 00:16:59,820 所以我在想 怎么办啊 316 00:16:59,820 --> 00:17:01,310 那种东西 砍价就好啦 317 00:17:01,400 --> 00:17:02,290 砍价？ 318 00:17:02,410 --> 00:17:05,290 家电产品都可以讨价还价的 让店家便宜点 319 00:17:05,370 --> 00:17:06,830 但是我没做过这种事 320 00:17:06,920 --> 00:17:08,750 那我们就来做个砍价的练习吧 321 00:17:08,880 --> 00:17:12,710 我来当店员 你当顾客 322 00:17:12,800 --> 00:17:14,050 我知道了 323 00:17:14,760 --> 00:17:15,710 欢迎光临 324 00:17:15,800 --> 00:17:17,720 -我要干电池 -你买什么呢 325 00:17:17,800 --> 00:17:19,760 -干电池 -你搞错了吧 326 00:17:19,930 --> 00:17:20,720 干电池 327 00:17:20,810 --> 00:17:22,930 你搞错了吧 你刚才想要的是什么啊 328 00:17:23,060 --> 00:17:24,850 -电视机 -那就买电视机啊 329 00:17:24,980 --> 00:17:26,770 你怎么和我的朋友搞外遇啊 330 00:17:26,900 --> 00:17:27,940 -我没有 -别装了 331 00:17:28,060 --> 00:17:29,190 快告诉我对方是谁 332 00:17:29,310 --> 00:17:31,650 你不说啊 手机里有照片吧 快拿出来 333 00:17:31,780 --> 00:17:34,610 快给我 反正不是什么好东西… 334 00:17:35,030 --> 00:17:36,950 竹野内丰？ 335 00:17:38,030 --> 00:17:39,910 竹野内丰？ 336 00:17:40,990 --> 00:17:43,080 真的对不起 337 00:17:43,160 --> 00:17:44,790 你道什么歉 338 00:17:44,870 --> 00:17:46,620 这不是道歉就可以解决的问题吧 339 00:17:46,750 --> 00:17:49,250 我这样到底算什么…竹野内丰？ 340 00:17:49,420 --> 00:17:50,500 真的对不起 341 00:17:50,630 --> 00:17:52,920 你道什么歉 这不是你道歉就能解决的问题 342 00:17:53,050 --> 00:17:54,970 我这样到底算什么…不行了 我忍无可忍了 343 00:17:55,090 --> 00:17:56,510 厉害了 344 00:17:56,720 --> 00:17:58,640 厉害了 345 00:17:58,760 --> 00:18:00,800 竹野内丰？ 346 00:18:00,970 --> 00:18:05,100 我们的主战场依旧是在一个很小的剧场里 347 00:18:05,180 --> 00:18:07,080 为了在那里演出 348 00:18:07,220 --> 00:18:10,650 必须参加每月一次的叫做“段子展示”的甄选 349 00:18:10,770 --> 00:18:12,360 你白痴吗 进来后再说 350 00:18:12,770 --> 00:18:13,650 欢迎光临 351 00:18:13,730 --> 00:18:14,900 我想换购一台电视机 352 00:18:14,990 --> 00:18:17,280 电视机吗 这台怎么样 353 00:18:17,400 --> 00:18:19,950 搭载了全新功能的40英吋电视机 354 00:18:20,070 --> 00:18:21,700 59800日元 355 00:18:21,830 --> 00:18:23,660 59800日元吗 356 00:18:23,660 --> 00:18:23,790 是的 357 00:18:23,790 --> 00:18:25,950 有点贵呀 能便宜点吗 358 00:18:26,040 --> 00:18:28,670 我们店的价格可是周边地区最低价了 359 00:18:28,750 --> 00:18:30,830 已经是最低价了 不能再低了 360 00:18:30,920 --> 00:18:32,500 刚才那家店更便宜 361 00:18:32,590 --> 00:18:33,920 还有比我家更便宜的吗 362 00:18:34,000 --> 00:18:36,130 有 我刚才看到的牛肉盖饭更便宜 363 00:18:36,280 --> 00:18:37,840 你在和什么做比较啊 364 00:18:37,920 --> 00:18:39,510 牛肉盖饭怎么能和电视机相提并论 365 00:18:39,590 --> 00:18:41,010 这可是搭载了全新功能的电视机 366 00:18:41,140 --> 00:18:43,310 但是刚才的搭载红生姜呢 367 00:18:43,430 --> 00:18:44,810 那不叫“搭载” 368 00:18:44,890 --> 00:18:47,640 红生姜只是放在上面的 369 00:18:54,690 --> 00:18:56,670 你们是叫Sparking来着吗 370 00:18:58,280 --> 00:18:59,990 那个 371 00:19:00,990 --> 00:19:02,870 你负责吐槽吗 372 00:19:02,950 --> 00:19:03,700 是的 373 00:19:05,220 --> 00:19:06,700 你做过店员吗 374 00:19:07,540 --> 00:19:08,870 没有 375 00:19:08,960 --> 00:19:10,170 没有吧 376 00:19:10,330 --> 00:19:13,860 你的表演一点真实感都没有 377 00:19:15,590 --> 00:19:19,680 另外装傻的这位也没有一直重复 378 00:19:19,760 --> 00:19:22,020 结尾的部分 379 00:19:22,680 --> 00:19:25,060 没有一直重复的话 380 00:19:25,180 --> 00:19:27,470 你们Sparking组合说的就不是漫才了 381 00:19:27,600 --> 00:19:28,600 是吧 毛塚 382 00:19:28,730 --> 00:19:30,020 -是的 -是吧 383 00:19:30,140 --> 00:19:31,310 看吧 384 00:19:31,690 --> 00:19:34,690 所以 你们Sparking组合… 385 00:19:34,820 --> 00:19:36,150 不好意思 386 00:19:37,480 --> 00:19:38,570 我们是Sparks 387 00:19:39,030 --> 00:19:39,740 什么 388 00:19:39,910 --> 00:19:42,030 我可不太懂胖子的讲究 389 00:19:42,160 --> 00:19:44,280 我们胖子多么在乎吃这件事 390 00:19:44,370 --> 00:19:45,990 你当然不会知道了 391 00:19:46,080 --> 00:19:47,160 我是不懂 392 00:19:47,290 --> 00:19:50,040 我们为了争取到演出的机会 393 00:19:50,580 --> 00:19:53,040 为了争取到发言的权利 394 00:19:53,250 --> 00:19:55,940 或者说为了摆脱贫穷 395 00:19:56,090 --> 00:19:59,720 都在用自己的方式搏斗 396 00:19:59,880 --> 00:20:01,300 -不许看 -我没在看 397 00:20:01,430 --> 00:20:02,510 你稍微矮一点吧 398 00:20:02,660 --> 00:20:04,340 因为你没有两米 所以才觉得他不矮 399 00:20:04,510 --> 00:20:07,220 你怎么这么突然 等一下 等一下 400 00:20:07,390 --> 00:20:10,770 伸出双手 兰博基尼 401 00:20:11,850 --> 00:20:14,940 我觉得你想的这个段子挺好的 402 00:20:16,190 --> 00:20:19,190 那些家伙从一开始就不打算笑 403 00:20:21,950 --> 00:20:24,530 那段子绝对有意思 404 00:20:25,660 --> 00:20:26,410 嗯 405 00:20:26,530 --> 00:20:28,740 不知道那些家伙在搞什么 406 00:20:34,460 --> 00:20:37,960 同年龄段的艺人有一部分 407 00:20:38,090 --> 00:20:39,800 -已经开始在电视上活跃起来了 -动物猜拳 408 00:20:39,920 --> 00:20:41,760 石头剪刀布 409 00:20:46,680 --> 00:20:48,970 你知道动物猜拳吗 410 00:20:49,140 --> 00:20:49,810 我不知道 411 00:20:49,930 --> 00:20:51,770 还有动物猜拳这玩意儿 412 00:20:55,100 --> 00:20:57,050 怕烫啊 413 00:20:59,230 --> 00:21:01,400 太搞笑了吧 414 00:21:02,860 --> 00:21:04,280 我真喜欢那个 415 00:21:17,830 --> 00:21:19,170 喂 416 00:21:20,250 --> 00:21:22,840 你怎么随便就换台了 417 00:21:24,930 --> 00:21:26,550 这种节目很有意思吗 418 00:21:26,680 --> 00:21:28,010 怎么 419 00:21:30,180 --> 00:21:31,890 要干一架吗 420 00:21:32,060 --> 00:21:33,030 不要 421 00:21:34,180 --> 00:21:35,850 对不起 422 00:21:39,730 --> 00:21:41,820 一点都不搞笑 四眼猩猩 423 00:21:41,900 --> 00:21:43,440 你给我站住 424 00:21:52,120 --> 00:21:55,910 那个时候神谷哥联系我说 425 00:21:56,040 --> 00:21:57,500 他将自己的据点移到了东京 426 00:21:58,380 --> 00:22:02,460 他感觉在大阪的活动已经到了极限 427 00:22:11,390 --> 00:22:12,470 神谷哥 428 00:22:13,890 --> 00:22:15,350 神谷哥 429 00:22:16,350 --> 00:22:18,940 好久不见 我们有两年多没见面了吧 430 00:22:19,400 --> 00:22:23,070 刚才我就觉得有个奇怪的妖怪走来 原来是你啊 431 00:22:23,190 --> 00:22:24,860 这话应该是我说的吧 432 00:22:24,940 --> 00:22:28,490 只要有你在 吉祥寺也会变成天王寺吧 433 00:22:28,610 --> 00:22:30,200 吵死了 434 00:22:30,450 --> 00:22:31,620 -去哪 -你去哪里 435 00:22:31,700 --> 00:22:33,490 -好久没见你了 -是好久没见了 436 00:22:33,620 --> 00:22:34,910 -你还好吗 -我挺好的 437 00:22:35,040 --> 00:22:36,200 你看上去很不错啊 438 00:22:36,410 --> 00:22:37,500 这里感觉很不错嘛 439 00:22:37,620 --> 00:22:38,920 是吧 这里很不错吧 440 00:22:39,040 --> 00:22:41,080 -还有池塘 -是的 441 00:22:41,170 --> 00:22:42,670 -坐船吗 -啥 442 00:22:44,130 --> 00:22:46,210 -真爽 -你吓我一跳 443 00:22:46,340 --> 00:22:49,180 我还以为你绝对会跳下去的 444 00:22:50,160 --> 00:22:52,680 真的吓死我了 完全没听到你在说什么 445 00:22:52,800 --> 00:22:55,220 -舒服吗 -别问了 446 00:22:55,350 --> 00:22:57,640 真的会让人为难 447 00:22:57,770 --> 00:22:59,980 -你们舒服吗 -你问什么问 448 00:23:00,100 --> 00:23:01,980 他们都吓死了 449 00:23:02,810 --> 00:23:04,690 话说你什么时候来的啊 450 00:23:04,820 --> 00:23:07,240 既然来东京的话第一时间联系我嘛 451 00:23:07,320 --> 00:23:09,820 发生了很多事情 452 00:23:10,740 --> 00:23:13,240 -喝点东西吧 -好的 453 00:23:16,830 --> 00:23:17,830 你要喝什么 454 00:23:19,600 --> 00:23:21,710 那就给我来罐咖啡吧 455 00:23:21,830 --> 00:23:25,090 黑咖啡 少糖 456 00:23:25,880 --> 00:23:27,920 少糖 好的 457 00:23:28,010 --> 00:23:30,130 就给我少糖的 458 00:23:30,510 --> 00:23:32,840 -我有硬币 -不需要 459 00:23:32,970 --> 00:23:34,800 就算你再翻也不会增加硬币的 460 00:23:34,890 --> 00:23:35,930 我知道 461 00:23:36,180 --> 00:23:39,430 让你付钱的话 就成各付各的了 462 00:23:39,730 --> 00:23:41,230 好 谢谢 463 00:24:27,980 --> 00:24:31,900 为什么不拍了 好好拍啊 464 00:24:34,450 --> 00:24:36,910 我在说你呢 465 00:24:38,330 --> 00:24:41,040 你刚不就是在表演吗 466 00:24:41,120 --> 00:24:44,370 你想像家里一样没人看地表演也就算了 467 00:24:44,500 --> 00:24:46,580 但是 你想在外面表演吧 468 00:24:46,670 --> 00:24:50,670 我第一次看到这样的乐器 我觉得很酷 469 00:24:50,800 --> 00:24:54,340 所以我想听听它能发出什么声音 470 00:24:54,470 --> 00:24:56,640 可是 你为什么这么小心眼 471 00:24:56,970 --> 00:24:59,220 让我听一下啊 472 00:24:59,350 --> 00:25:02,350 不是那样的 473 00:25:05,350 --> 00:25:06,650 那是什么样的 474 00:25:06,730 --> 00:25:08,650 我刚刚是不是很奇怪 475 00:25:08,730 --> 00:25:10,650 完全是奇葩了 476 00:25:10,780 --> 00:25:12,610 对不起 那个 只要拍一会儿就好了 477 00:25:12,690 --> 00:25:15,700 我们马上就走 能让我们听一下这个声音吗 478 00:26:09,080 --> 00:26:12,380 打鼓的打鼓的哥们儿 打鼓的打鼓的哥们儿 479 00:26:12,460 --> 00:26:14,010 戴着红帽子的哥们儿 480 00:26:14,130 --> 00:26:16,380 在打鼓声中觉醒吧 神龙 481 00:26:16,470 --> 00:26:18,590 你不用唱出来吧 482 00:26:17,750 --> 00:26:19,010 打鼓的打鼓的哥们儿 483 00:26:20,850 --> 00:26:22,470 戴着红帽子的哥们儿 484 00:26:22,600 --> 00:26:25,770 在打鼓声中觉醒吧 神龙 485 00:26:26,020 --> 00:26:29,190 打鼓的打鼓的哥们儿 打鼓的打鼓的哥们儿 486 00:26:29,310 --> 00:26:34,110 明天会发生什么呢 有好事发生就好了 487 00:26:34,190 --> 00:26:37,490 打鼓的打鼓的哥们儿 雨打在身上有点儿冷 488 00:26:37,610 --> 00:26:40,700 明儿是个好天气就好了 489 00:26:40,990 --> 00:26:44,330 打鼓的打鼓的哥们儿 大鼓就是打鼓的哥们儿 490 00:26:44,450 --> 00:26:46,120 结果 这哥们儿就是大鼓 491 00:26:46,200 --> 00:26:48,410 大鼓和戴红帽子的大鼓 492 00:26:48,500 --> 00:26:51,040 打鼓的打鼓的哥们儿 493 00:26:51,130 --> 00:26:54,340 大鼓就是这哥们儿 结果这哥们儿在大鼓里 494 00:26:54,460 --> 00:26:57,510 哥们儿大鼓打得真棒 495 00:26:57,630 --> 00:26:59,340 打鼓 大鼓 496 00:26:59,470 --> 00:27:01,890 -大鼓 打鼓 就是大鼓 打鼓 -大鼓 打鼓 497 00:27:01,970 --> 00:27:03,760 打鼓的打鼓的哥们儿 498 00:27:17,650 --> 00:27:21,740 打鼓的打鼓的哥们儿 499 00:27:22,280 --> 00:27:27,040 在打鼓声中觉醒吧 神龙 500 00:27:28,790 --> 00:27:31,170 是日本传说吗 501 00:27:31,500 --> 00:27:34,920 德永 回去吧 502 00:27:35,800 --> 00:27:40,090 你担心自己辞藻贫乏的话要好好修炼 503 00:27:40,220 --> 00:27:43,680 那我回去了 504 00:27:43,890 --> 00:27:45,760 坐首班车回去 505 00:27:45,890 --> 00:27:48,640 你醉了 来我家吧 506 00:27:48,730 --> 00:27:51,230 你说啥呢 507 00:27:52,270 --> 00:27:54,480 我绝对要回去 508 00:27:54,560 --> 00:27:56,520 我家离这很近 来我家吧 509 00:27:57,200 --> 00:27:57,980 你说收尾吗 510 00:27:59,080 --> 00:28:02,530 我没事 可以自己回家 511 00:28:02,910 --> 00:28:05,870 我说我没事 可以自己回家 512 00:28:05,980 --> 00:28:07,410 好痛 513 00:28:09,000 --> 00:28:11,250 痛死了 514 00:28:11,330 --> 00:28:14,080 -你为什么要踢我 -别生气嘛 515 00:28:14,170 --> 00:28:18,090 因为你喝醉酒了 我不放心 先回我家吧 516 00:28:18,170 --> 00:28:19,960 你为什么要踢我 517 00:28:20,090 --> 00:28:22,090 因为屁股就在那里 518 00:28:20,090 --> 00:28:24,090 （模仿登山家乔治·马洛里名言：因为山就在那里） 519 00:28:22,220 --> 00:28:24,090 你是登山家吗 520 00:28:25,970 --> 00:28:28,850 到底要去哪里啊 521 00:28:30,180 --> 00:28:32,730 已经到青梅街道了 522 00:28:32,810 --> 00:28:34,900 马上到 马上到 523 00:28:47,780 --> 00:28:49,160 就是这里 524 00:28:54,040 --> 00:28:55,170 早上好 525 00:28:55,250 --> 00:28:57,340 早上好 526 00:29:12,140 --> 00:29:14,310 不好意思 打扰了 527 00:29:14,850 --> 00:29:16,480 给德永喝点水 528 00:29:16,600 --> 00:29:17,900 回来啦 529 00:29:19,140 --> 00:29:22,490 现在是早上 楼下的人会生气的 530 00:29:31,540 --> 00:29:32,620 我是德永 531 00:29:33,500 --> 00:29:35,920 欢迎 我是真树 532 00:29:39,170 --> 00:29:41,500 你也快点睡吧 533 00:29:47,340 --> 00:29:49,640 我去下便利店 要给你带点什么吗 534 00:29:53,390 --> 00:29:55,230 这家伙睡着了 535 00:29:56,390 --> 00:30:00,980 这家伙就像个惹人生气的弟弟 536 00:30:09,700 --> 00:30:11,780 别那样啦 537 00:30:11,870 --> 00:30:16,540 把德永的脸晒个黑杰克那样的伤疤吧 538 00:30:17,620 --> 00:30:20,380 你这么做有什么意思啊 539 00:30:20,790 --> 00:30:22,380 非常有意思 540 00:30:25,720 --> 00:30:27,430 喂 你把脸藏起来 太狡猾了 541 00:30:27,550 --> 00:30:29,370 不狡猾 542 00:30:30,510 --> 00:30:34,560 还是让德永好好睡一觉吧 543 00:30:38,850 --> 00:30:40,810 喂 喂 喂 544 00:30:40,900 --> 00:30:42,440 你们在干嘛啊 545 00:30:42,570 --> 00:30:43,980 这样可以晒得漂亮点 546 00:30:44,110 --> 00:30:45,400 对吧 皮诺可 547 00:30:46,110 --> 00:30:48,650 真树 你为什么也要帮他 548 00:30:50,280 --> 00:30:51,660 对不起 549 00:30:53,870 --> 00:30:55,750 对不起啊 550 00:31:03,710 --> 00:31:05,710 哎呀 你搞什么呀 551 00:31:05,880 --> 00:31:08,290 为什么 552 00:31:08,380 --> 00:31:10,130 别别别别 553 00:31:10,550 --> 00:31:13,180 神谷哥 那个… 554 00:31:13,810 --> 00:31:17,020 你们两个人这是怎么了 555 00:31:17,350 --> 00:31:19,890 -肚子发出警报了 -你不用说出来 556 00:31:19,980 --> 00:31:23,190 -保重 -说出来干嘛 557 00:31:52,840 --> 00:31:55,220 德永 你祈求了什么 558 00:31:55,390 --> 00:31:57,220 没什么 无关紧要的事不行吗 559 00:31:57,430 --> 00:31:59,430 哪能祈求些无关紧要的事 560 00:31:59,770 --> 00:32:02,060 我祈求我作为搞笑艺人能够红起来啦 561 00:32:02,150 --> 00:32:06,230 德永 你努力的话绝对会红的 562 00:32:07,230 --> 00:32:09,360 真树 你祈求了什么 563 00:32:11,140 --> 00:32:12,360 保密 564 00:32:13,740 --> 00:32:16,080 神谷哥 你祈求了什么 565 00:32:16,200 --> 00:32:19,500 用五元硬币能向神祈求什么呀 566 00:32:40,180 --> 00:32:43,140 好想红呀 567 00:32:50,780 --> 00:32:53,530 你都在埋头写些什么呀 568 00:32:55,480 --> 00:32:56,510 没什么 569 00:32:57,370 --> 00:32:58,950 画得真好 570 00:33:01,400 --> 00:33:03,120 这是谁呀 571 00:33:03,500 --> 00:33:05,370 喂 师父 您辛苦了 572 00:33:05,460 --> 00:33:07,000 你今天要去打工吗 573 00:33:07,000 --> 00:33:08,050 不去 574 00:33:09,130 --> 00:33:10,510 那一起吃个饭吧 575 00:33:10,590 --> 00:33:14,130 好的 我这就去 好的 再见 576 00:33:16,090 --> 00:33:18,550 穿米色灯芯绒短裤的家伙 577 00:33:19,060 --> 00:33:21,810 完全不明白灯芯绒的好处 578 00:33:21,930 --> 00:33:24,270 我觉得他们误解了很多 579 00:33:25,650 --> 00:33:27,190 -德永 -是 580 00:33:27,310 --> 00:33:29,270 -我有一条 -啥 581 00:33:30,530 --> 00:33:33,990 我们就像是定点观测吉祥寺一样 582 00:33:34,280 --> 00:33:39,280 有好几年我们基本上每天都去 漫无目的地游荡 583 00:33:39,410 --> 00:33:42,160 走累了就去口琴小巷的美舟 584 00:33:42,250 --> 00:33:45,290 点一盘肉芽 585 00:33:45,370 --> 00:33:48,420 就着喝到半夜 586 00:33:48,540 --> 00:33:50,880 肉芽好了 让您久等了 587 00:33:51,630 --> 00:33:54,590 -肉芽… -肉芽可以吗… 588 00:33:54,670 --> 00:33:56,760 -让您久等了 -怎么不说啊 589 00:33:58,200 --> 00:33:59,050 52 590 00:34:00,280 --> 00:34:01,720 53 591 00:34:02,710 --> 00:34:03,740 54 592 00:34:04,280 --> 00:34:05,560 好勒 593 00:34:06,180 --> 00:34:07,600 好勒 594 00:34:23,170 --> 00:34:25,130 盔甲不错啊 595 00:34:25,480 --> 00:34:28,220 要是穿着盔甲演漫才好像很有趣啊 596 00:34:28,320 --> 00:34:30,330 盔甲漫才 597 00:34:30,740 --> 00:34:33,810 让大林演个败落武士吧 598 00:34:33,900 --> 00:34:37,530 然后我故意穿个正装 599 00:34:38,020 --> 00:34:40,640 互相对那个时代… 600 00:34:42,140 --> 00:34:43,650 上阵啦 601 00:34:43,650 --> 00:34:46,200 你真的是被洗脑了啊 602 00:34:51,340 --> 00:34:53,580 真树的泡菜锅真的太好吃了 603 00:34:53,620 --> 00:34:55,960 开心 多亏你帮忙呀 604 00:34:55,960 --> 00:34:57,680 你在听我说话吗 605 00:34:57,700 --> 00:34:58,930 在听啊 606 00:34:59,210 --> 00:35:02,520 用快节奏说话才能传达更多资讯 607 00:35:02,570 --> 00:35:02,850 对 608 00:35:02,930 --> 00:35:04,920 所以肯定是多多上场比较好 609 00:35:04,970 --> 00:35:05,300 对 610 00:35:05,300 --> 00:35:07,010 确实说话快一点比较好 611 00:35:07,090 --> 00:35:08,900 可是你做不到对不对 612 00:35:08,900 --> 00:35:09,120 对 613 00:35:09,120 --> 00:35:10,530 但是正因为你这个特点 614 00:35:10,530 --> 00:35:12,580 才能表现得和别人不一样 615 00:35:12,660 --> 00:35:13,450 对 616 00:35:13,980 --> 00:35:15,280 聊聊那个话题吧 617 00:35:17,000 --> 00:35:21,700 你家好像很穷啊 618 00:35:23,130 --> 00:35:25,730 是的 穷困潦倒 619 00:35:26,370 --> 00:35:28,290 我姐姐用纸做的钢琴 620 00:35:28,360 --> 00:35:30,530 练习《踩到猫咪》 621 00:35:30,620 --> 00:35:32,020 真好啊 622 00:35:32,340 --> 00:35:34,460 我姐姐为了不落后给 623 00:35:34,700 --> 00:35:37,650 家里有电子琴或是钢琴的朋友 624 00:35:37,720 --> 00:35:38,940 一直非常努力 625 00:35:39,370 --> 00:35:41,220 真的是很努力呢 626 00:35:41,240 --> 00:35:42,170 是啊 627 00:35:42,730 --> 00:35:45,640 然后 第一次上钢琴课的时候 628 00:35:48,740 --> 00:35:51,450 德永同学 你怎么啦 629 00:35:53,300 --> 00:35:55,250 出不了声 630 00:36:00,080 --> 00:36:02,340 电源没接通啦 631 00:36:06,480 --> 00:36:09,450 我姐姐没有弹过真正的电子琴 632 00:36:09,880 --> 00:36:12,680 不知道还要接电源 633 00:36:13,650 --> 00:36:20,170 看着我温柔可靠的姐姐那个样子 634 00:36:20,170 --> 00:36:23,330 我非常地不甘心 635 00:36:24,690 --> 00:36:27,040 你为什么做出这种表情 636 00:36:27,200 --> 00:36:29,250 姐姐很努力了 637 00:36:33,090 --> 00:36:35,180 真让人感动啊 638 00:36:35,700 --> 00:36:39,520 那天晚上姐姐回家之后 639 00:36:39,700 --> 00:36:41,490 一直用纸钢琴拼命练习 640 00:36:41,540 --> 00:36:42,930 我也站在她旁边 641 00:36:42,980 --> 00:36:45,880 超级大声地给她唱歌 642 00:36:46,010 --> 00:36:48,460 然后就被我爸爸臭骂 643 00:36:48,610 --> 00:36:52,620 吵死了 不要踩猫了 644 00:36:53,440 --> 00:36:55,720 你在做什么呢 645 00:36:56,660 --> 00:36:58,290 好不容易煽情一回 646 00:36:58,290 --> 00:36:59,210 嗯 647 00:36:59,250 --> 00:37:00,690 完全…你嗯什么嗯啦 648 00:37:00,700 --> 00:37:01,900 你完全没在听我说话嘛 649 00:37:01,970 --> 00:37:06,540 真好啊 经历过这些事情 有些段子一定只有你能写出来 650 00:37:09,000 --> 00:37:10,000 知道了 651 00:37:11,210 --> 00:37:13,520 马上就要开演了 652 00:37:13,520 --> 00:37:17,130 请大家在楼梯前排成一列 653 00:37:15,480 --> 00:37:19,640 （涉谷群星演出节） 654 00:37:19,640 --> 00:37:21,640 （傻瓜二人组） 655 00:37:21,640 --> 00:37:24,020 （咖啡甜酒牛奶） 656 00:37:24,080 --> 00:37:26,480 （相原美穗 黑溜溜 Sparks） 657 00:37:33,000 --> 00:37:34,780 那就开始吧 658 00:37:34,810 --> 00:37:36,210 注意了 对对 659 00:37:36,240 --> 00:37:37,450 果然还是撞上了吗 660 00:37:37,450 --> 00:37:38,770 什么啊 这首歌 661 00:37:38,860 --> 00:37:40,560 85岁的夜 662 00:37:40,560 --> 00:37:42,360 是15岁的夜 663 00:37:42,490 --> 00:37:43,780 这什么歌啊 664 00:37:43,860 --> 00:37:45,560 你拄着偷来的拐杖要去哪啊喂 665 00:37:45,560 --> 00:37:46,820 去隔壁公园演出 666 00:37:46,820 --> 00:37:48,380 别演出了 667 00:37:48,380 --> 00:37:49,650 大爷就别演出了 668 00:37:49,650 --> 00:37:51,320 茂三和梅吉在等我呢 669 00:37:51,320 --> 00:37:52,960 不都是大爷吗 670 00:37:53,040 --> 00:37:54,970 已经好了吗 671 00:37:55,200 --> 00:37:57,850 还没有哦 672 00:37:58,840 --> 00:38:00,970 已经好了吗 673 00:38:01,080 --> 00:38:03,400 还没有哦 674 00:38:03,660 --> 00:38:05,520 已经好了吗 675 00:38:05,660 --> 00:38:07,740 已经好了哦 676 00:38:08,320 --> 00:38:10,010 你谁啊 677 00:38:10,300 --> 00:38:11,300 接下来就到了 678 00:38:11,380 --> 00:38:14,820 公布涉谷群星演出节冠军的时候了 679 00:38:16,330 --> 00:38:18,260 冠军就是 680 00:38:19,970 --> 00:38:22,210 鹿谷 681 00:38:22,900 --> 00:38:24,240 恭喜你 682 00:38:24,290 --> 00:38:25,170 不不不不不 683 00:38:25,810 --> 00:38:28,890 冠军是刚出道第二年的新人鹿谷 684 00:38:28,920 --> 00:38:31,970 是我一直以来最不擅长的对付的类型 685 00:38:32,860 --> 00:38:35,180 他就是传说中那种长着油腻的脸 686 00:38:35,410 --> 00:38:39,050 女里女气 又有着歇斯底里一面的人 687 00:38:39,200 --> 00:38:40,140 不过没关系 688 00:38:40,210 --> 00:38:41,440 加上这句话的话 689 00:38:41,440 --> 00:38:43,130 就会变可爱的哦 690 00:38:43,170 --> 00:38:44,420 请看 691 00:38:45,850 --> 00:38:48,460 心悸中毒 692 00:38:48,940 --> 00:38:53,680 （黑道） 693 00:38:52,840 --> 00:38:54,380 完蛋 694 00:38:54,380 --> 00:38:56,520 啊 等一下 695 00:38:55,440 --> 00:38:58,380 （断头台） 696 00:38:56,780 --> 00:38:59,600 这个…这个是下一个了 697 00:38:59,700 --> 00:39:02,600 光凭这种认真的无厘头表演 698 00:39:02,700 --> 00:39:04,540 就引起了爆笑 699 00:39:04,580 --> 00:39:07,730 谢谢大家 700 00:39:09,400 --> 00:39:11,480 Sparks是第六名 701 00:39:12,130 --> 00:39:14,560 傻瓜二人组是第四名 702 00:39:21,920 --> 00:39:23,040 辛苦啦 703 00:39:23,040 --> 00:39:24,360 -辛苦了 -辛苦了 704 00:39:28,540 --> 00:39:31,340 德永 德永 上次的钱 谢谢 705 00:39:32,530 --> 00:39:34,340 我们还有一个演出 就先走了 706 00:39:34,340 --> 00:39:34,850 辛苦了 707 00:39:34,880 --> 00:39:35,650 不好意思啊 708 00:39:35,960 --> 00:39:39,040 辛苦了 709 00:39:40,960 --> 00:39:42,050 德永 710 00:39:42,120 --> 00:39:44,490 辛苦啦 711 00:39:44,540 --> 00:39:47,330 如果你愿意的话要不要加入鹿谷军团 712 00:39:47,330 --> 00:39:49,570 成为我的参谋呢 713 00:39:49,570 --> 00:39:51,440 我们一起争霸天下吧 714 00:39:51,440 --> 00:39:52,800 鹿谷 去庆功宴了 715 00:39:52,800 --> 00:39:53,680 好的 716 00:39:53,680 --> 00:39:54,810 好 大家快走了 717 00:39:54,810 --> 00:39:56,450 那晚点再见哦 718 00:39:57,260 --> 00:40:01,880 -辛苦啦 -辛苦啦 719 00:40:02,140 --> 00:40:05,880 前辈 为什么我们是第六名啊 720 00:40:17,920 --> 00:40:21,810 德永是大阪队的对吧 721 00:40:22,380 --> 00:40:24,640 为什么放弃踢球了呢 722 00:40:26,220 --> 00:40:31,010 踢球的话会更好吗 723 00:40:32,010 --> 00:40:33,960 也不能这么说 724 00:40:34,300 --> 00:40:35,600 -对不起 让我从后面过一下 725 00:40:35,600 --> 00:40:37,600 实在抱歉 对不起 726 00:40:37,620 --> 00:40:38,490 您辛苦了 727 00:40:38,490 --> 00:40:39,560 辛苦了 728 00:40:39,600 --> 00:40:41,890 喂 你怎么在角落喝酒 729 00:40:41,920 --> 00:40:43,140 来了不少作家啊 730 00:40:43,140 --> 00:40:45,140 你也赶紧去多聊聊啊 731 00:40:46,760 --> 00:40:47,940 对不起 732 00:41:32,060 --> 00:41:35,340 以具有昭和特色的聊天式漫才博得人气的 733 00:41:35,480 --> 00:41:39,930 浪花大小石的小石先生 本名田边诚一郎先生 734 00:41:40,160 --> 00:41:45,240 于25日凌晨0点35分在神户市内医院病逝 735 00:41:45,500 --> 00:41:46,920 享年78岁 736 00:41:49,320 --> 00:41:50,640 你喜欢什么呢 737 00:41:50,770 --> 00:41:52,720 说到我最喜欢的东西啊 738 00:41:52,720 --> 00:41:53,760 那不是显而易见吗 739 00:41:53,760 --> 00:41:55,040 是什么呢 740 00:41:55,090 --> 00:41:55,970 火锅啊 741 00:41:56,820 --> 00:41:57,970 火锅 742 00:41:58,380 --> 00:42:00,210 你还会吃锅吗 743 00:41:58,380 --> 00:42:00,210 （注：火锅和锅为同一个词） 744 00:42:00,210 --> 00:42:01,810 我不吃锅 745 00:42:01,940 --> 00:42:04,970 牙口真好 结实啊 746 00:42:05,100 --> 00:42:08,200 像我这种牙口不好的 吃不下去啊 747 00:42:08,200 --> 00:42:09,080 话说回来 748 00:42:09,140 --> 00:42:12,340 铁锅和土锅哪个更好吃一点呢 749 00:42:12,400 --> 00:42:14,120 不是 吃火锅 750 00:42:14,240 --> 00:42:15,960 是指吃锅里的东西 751 00:42:16,260 --> 00:42:17,560 吓我一跳啊 752 00:42:17,680 --> 00:42:18,690 既然是锅里的东西 753 00:42:18,690 --> 00:42:20,180 你就该直接和我说是锅里的东西 754 00:42:21,690 --> 00:42:22,580 请多关照 755 00:42:22,580 --> 00:42:23,680 我们是Sparks 756 00:42:23,680 --> 00:42:24,640 请多关照 757 00:42:24,640 --> 00:42:27,450 说起来最近啊 乖孩子多起来了呢 758 00:42:27,450 --> 00:42:28,220 乖孩子？ 759 00:42:28,220 --> 00:42:30,560 没有叛逆期的孩子好像也是存在的 760 00:42:30,730 --> 00:42:31,320 真的吗 这种情况 761 00:42:31,560 --> 00:42:33,890 这种孩子变成大爷的时候会很可怕的 762 00:42:33,890 --> 00:42:35,060 什么叫变成大爷的时候 763 00:42:35,060 --> 00:42:37,020 因为至今为止一次都没体验过 764 00:42:37,020 --> 00:42:37,720 所以变成老大爷之后… 765 00:42:37,720 --> 00:42:38,090 你说什么胡话 766 00:42:38,090 --> 00:42:40,300 这种病毒性感冒一样的想法 767 00:42:41,220 --> 00:42:42,740 山下 768 00:42:43,290 --> 00:42:46,010 听完我的台词之后 你再有反应 769 00:42:46,140 --> 00:42:47,320 你太快了刚刚 770 00:42:47,320 --> 00:42:50,420 不是 毕竟是演过这么多次的段子 771 00:42:50,420 --> 00:42:52,060 你让我听完… 772 00:42:56,980 --> 00:42:58,980 因为一次都没体验过 773 00:42:59,170 --> 00:43:01,600 等到变成大爷的时候叛逆期来临就糟糕了 774 00:43:01,700 --> 00:43:02,890 你说什么胡话 775 00:43:02,890 --> 00:43:04,360 什么变成大爷 什么叛逆期 776 00:43:04,580 --> 00:43:05,530 开始吸烟啦 777 00:43:05,530 --> 00:43:06,880 变成大爷之后开始吸吗 778 00:43:06,880 --> 00:43:08,340 对身体多不好啊 779 00:43:08,340 --> 00:43:09,780 也不去领国家补贴的养老金啦 780 00:43:09,780 --> 00:43:11,890 倒是去领啊 781 00:43:13,450 --> 00:43:15,250 你还是太快了 782 00:43:17,330 --> 00:43:19,640 话说 你是不是没有干劲啊 783 00:43:19,780 --> 00:43:20,720 我不是在练习吗 784 00:43:20,720 --> 00:43:22,720 你一副说出来就算完事儿的样子 785 00:43:39,440 --> 00:43:41,970 我知道段子的配合是很重要的 786 00:43:43,340 --> 00:43:44,930 但今天本来要打工 787 00:43:46,680 --> 00:43:47,560 临时请假的 788 00:43:47,560 --> 00:43:49,480 你早说嘛 789 00:44:16,250 --> 00:44:18,120 德永 怎么了 790 00:44:18,450 --> 00:44:20,020 辛苦啦 791 00:44:20,090 --> 00:44:23,400 我刚刚在排练段子 792 00:44:24,700 --> 00:44:27,660 对搭档非常恼火 793 00:44:28,420 --> 00:44:30,810 我都有点想打他了 794 00:44:31,370 --> 00:44:32,920 出手的话你们就解散了 795 00:44:32,920 --> 00:44:34,920 所以绝对不能动手 796 00:44:36,680 --> 00:44:38,250 真的非常生气啊 797 00:44:38,650 --> 00:44:40,330 排练完了来我家吧 798 00:44:40,330 --> 00:44:41,720 我们一起吃饭 799 00:44:41,720 --> 00:44:44,260 你最喜欢的食物是什么 800 00:44:45,080 --> 00:44:47,490 这个…烤肉吧 801 00:44:48,220 --> 00:44:49,450 不对 802 00:44:49,900 --> 00:44:53,060 你最喜欢的食物是什么 803 00:44:55,640 --> 00:44:59,520 我在问你最喜欢的食物是什么 804 00:45:00,900 --> 00:45:02,400 是火锅 805 00:45:03,130 --> 00:45:04,400 火锅？ 806 00:45:04,580 --> 00:45:06,100 对 火锅 807 00:45:06,240 --> 00:45:08,360 你能吃锅吗 808 00:45:08,480 --> 00:45:10,220 不 不是的 809 00:45:10,820 --> 00:45:13,370 你牙口可真好啊 810 00:45:13,370 --> 00:45:15,010 不 我都说了不是了 811 00:45:15,060 --> 00:45:17,100 我牙口不好可下不去嘴 812 00:45:17,140 --> 00:45:19,540 铁锅和土锅哪个更好吃呢 813 00:45:19,610 --> 00:45:21,080 你说什么呢 814 00:45:21,080 --> 00:45:22,900 哪一个更好咬呢 815 00:45:22,980 --> 00:45:27,660 不 吃火锅可不是吃锅这种东西 816 00:45:27,800 --> 00:45:29,780 啥 可你不是说吃锅吗 817 00:45:29,780 --> 00:45:31,040 我说是说了 818 00:45:31,140 --> 00:45:33,140 我是说吃火锅里面的东西 819 00:45:33,760 --> 00:45:35,560 就是火锅里的籽儿吗 820 00:45:33,760 --> 00:45:35,560 （同一个词 有籽儿和容纳物两种意思） 821 00:45:35,780 --> 00:45:37,100 是的 822 00:45:37,540 --> 00:45:38,970 火锅的籽儿？ 823 00:45:39,080 --> 00:45:41,160 要剥开锅的哪里才会出现籽儿呢 824 00:45:41,160 --> 00:45:43,620 你不要说得像水果一样好吗 825 00:45:43,690 --> 00:45:45,810 像鸡肉锅啊 还有泡菜锅那种 826 00:45:45,810 --> 00:45:47,810 我们不是经常一起吃的吗 827 00:45:47,980 --> 00:45:49,810 也就是说是火锅料理吗 828 00:45:50,000 --> 00:45:51,810 对啊 829 00:45:52,010 --> 00:45:54,290 你怎么突然变这么傻了 830 00:45:54,330 --> 00:45:56,620 纠缠不休的很可怕啊 831 00:45:57,090 --> 00:45:58,960 那我去买牛的牛肉吧 832 00:45:58,960 --> 00:46:00,760 牛肉就是牛 833 00:46:00,800 --> 00:46:02,050 笨蛋 834 00:46:03,020 --> 00:46:04,020 真难理解啊 835 00:46:04,040 --> 00:46:06,360 那今天就吃成吉思汗吧 836 00:46:06,530 --> 00:46:09,140 你这样说更难理解了好吗 837 00:46:09,200 --> 00:46:11,290 你有那个成吉思汗专用的锅吗 838 00:46:11,410 --> 00:46:13,480 怎么可能有嘛 839 00:46:13,570 --> 00:46:15,090 你真是够了 840 00:46:19,300 --> 00:46:21,380 现在脑子轻松一点了吧 841 00:46:22,060 --> 00:46:23,380 是的 842 00:46:24,160 --> 00:46:25,800 谢谢 843 00:46:26,420 --> 00:46:27,800 稍后见 844 00:46:28,020 --> 00:46:29,130 好的 845 00:46:46,010 --> 00:46:47,860 有三点我要道歉 846 00:46:51,240 --> 00:46:53,050 第一点是 847 00:46:55,050 --> 00:46:58,960 我好像把其他事情说得比排练段子还重要了 848 00:47:01,480 --> 00:47:02,980 还有一点是 849 00:47:04,410 --> 00:47:06,060 明明想段子的是你 850 00:47:06,060 --> 00:47:08,570 我还挑三拣四的 851 00:47:13,500 --> 00:47:15,000 最后一点是 852 00:47:16,570 --> 00:47:18,960 你…我… 853 00:47:23,770 --> 00:47:25,300 你… 854 00:47:30,440 --> 00:47:31,680 我… 855 00:47:31,940 --> 00:47:34,090 你不会是突然忘了吧 856 00:47:42,730 --> 00:47:45,720 你真是个笨蛋 857 00:47:51,820 --> 00:47:53,530 好了 我回去了 858 00:47:53,810 --> 00:47:55,760 这是我的自行车 859 00:47:55,800 --> 00:47:57,400 乱说 860 00:47:57,770 --> 00:47:59,220 你就走了？ 861 00:48:06,570 --> 00:48:08,850 是的 人生就是一场比赛 862 00:48:09,370 --> 00:48:11,460 让我们赢赢赢一直赢下去吧 863 00:48:11,520 --> 00:48:13,890 来 惨败 864 00:48:11,520 --> 00:48:13,890 （音似干杯） 865 00:48:13,890 --> 00:48:15,240 不是已经输了吗 866 00:48:15,240 --> 00:48:16,330 怎么好像是我冷场了似的 867 00:48:16,330 --> 00:48:17,400 有什么不好的吗 868 00:48:17,400 --> 00:48:18,610 为什么胖子还要穿条纹 869 00:48:18,610 --> 00:48:19,660 和胖子没关系吧 870 00:48:19,660 --> 00:48:20,660 藏起来 藏起来 871 00:48:20,690 --> 00:48:21,460 时尚 时尚 872 00:48:21,460 --> 00:48:22,660 要穿竖纹好 竖纹 873 00:48:22,980 --> 00:48:25,200 喜欢的男生类型游戏 874 00:48:25,200 --> 00:48:27,200 猝不及防就开始了吗 875 00:48:27,200 --> 00:48:27,900 来 876 00:48:27,900 --> 00:48:29,130 肌肉发达的人 877 00:48:29,130 --> 00:48:30,360 肌肉发达 878 00:48:30,400 --> 00:48:31,080 好 下一个 879 00:48:31,080 --> 00:48:31,940 出现了 肌肉发达 880 00:48:31,940 --> 00:48:33,000 出现了 肌肉发达 881 00:48:33,050 --> 00:48:33,520 还有呢 882 00:48:33,520 --> 00:48:34,300 聪明的人 883 00:48:34,300 --> 00:48:35,300 聪明的人 884 00:48:35,330 --> 00:48:38,410 你把那个杯子放在X轴和Y轴上面 885 00:48:38,410 --> 00:48:40,620 好聪明 好聪明 886 00:48:41,600 --> 00:48:42,480 外国人 外国人 887 00:48:42,480 --> 00:48:44,540 今天真的肥肠开森 888 00:48:46,800 --> 00:48:48,130 你没事吧 没事吧 889 00:48:49,130 --> 00:48:50,130 没事 890 00:48:50,440 --> 00:48:52,680 要不要喝点不一样的 891 00:48:54,940 --> 00:48:56,650 不过也不太好喝吧 892 00:48:56,680 --> 00:48:57,440 是啊 893 00:48:57,610 --> 00:49:01,020 要不要点一些别的 894 00:49:01,260 --> 00:49:02,250 啊 没事的 895 00:49:02,300 --> 00:49:04,090 可以吗 其实也… 896 00:49:05,700 --> 00:49:07,220 你说我吗 喂 897 00:49:09,780 --> 00:49:11,180 很奇怪啊 898 00:49:11,360 --> 00:49:13,680 你坐哪儿呢 你这家伙 899 00:49:13,850 --> 00:49:15,180 你坐哪儿呢 900 00:49:15,180 --> 00:49:16,650 我是被讨厌了吗 901 00:49:16,660 --> 00:49:17,720 不不 没这回事 902 00:49:17,720 --> 00:49:19,370 这人很胆小的 903 00:49:19,440 --> 00:49:20,980 他是胆小君 904 00:49:21,140 --> 00:49:23,930 这家伙像个中学生一样对吧 905 00:49:24,250 --> 00:49:25,140 是有点这个感觉 906 00:49:25,140 --> 00:49:26,570 不过你别看他这样 907 00:49:26,570 --> 00:49:28,570 他可是爱好偷听的 908 00:49:30,000 --> 00:49:31,680 -偷听？ -偷听？ 909 00:49:31,680 --> 00:49:32,460 对吧 910 00:49:32,570 --> 00:49:33,520 对 911 00:49:33,810 --> 00:49:34,960 这不是非常糟糕吗 912 00:49:34,960 --> 00:49:35,730 是很糟糕啊 913 00:49:35,730 --> 00:49:37,580 我平常被他听去很多事情呢 914 00:49:37,580 --> 00:49:39,900 为什么会喜欢偷听呢 915 00:49:40,210 --> 00:49:41,820 因为对象并不是因为 916 00:49:41,840 --> 00:49:45,140 正在被偷听才说话的 917 00:49:45,180 --> 00:49:47,040 所以原本是听不到的 918 00:49:47,620 --> 00:49:49,520 是研究人员吗 919 00:49:50,360 --> 00:49:51,940 把X轴和Y轴… 920 00:49:52,260 --> 00:49:55,880 为什么要对抗研究人员呢 921 00:49:55,930 --> 00:49:57,370 可以了 922 00:49:57,560 --> 00:49:59,370 这样很酷炫啊 923 00:50:00,240 --> 00:50:03,690 本次列车是开往吉祥寺的普快列车 924 00:50:03,800 --> 00:50:08,540 中间停靠车站为 下北泽 明大前… 925 00:50:13,460 --> 00:50:15,330 今天也要去偷听吗 926 00:50:15,680 --> 00:50:18,250 拜托你不要突然这个样子啦 927 00:50:18,800 --> 00:50:22,080 我们呢 如果一直两个人聊天 928 00:50:22,090 --> 00:50:24,740 就会进入感兴趣的世界出不来了 929 00:50:24,860 --> 00:50:27,040 所以偶尔也要和其他人聊聊天 930 00:50:27,040 --> 00:50:30,000 才会知道自己是什么样的人 931 00:50:30,170 --> 00:50:31,280 不过你笑了的吧 932 00:50:31,360 --> 00:50:33,620 只有被笑的份吧 933 00:50:34,840 --> 00:50:36,320 不能被嘲笑 934 00:50:36,370 --> 00:50:37,650 也不能不让笑 935 00:50:37,680 --> 00:50:40,320 真的是很霸气的话呢 936 00:50:40,610 --> 00:50:41,820 可却因为这句话 937 00:50:41,840 --> 00:50:44,780 却让装作被笑这件事变得越来越难 938 00:50:45,570 --> 00:50:47,720 啊 那个人在装傻 939 00:50:47,720 --> 00:50:49,280 其实是聪明人啊 940 00:50:49,290 --> 00:50:51,000 本来客人不知道多好 941 00:50:51,000 --> 00:50:52,330 是啊 942 00:50:52,740 --> 00:50:56,160 让客人自己意识到在故意被逗笑 943 00:50:56,170 --> 00:50:58,850 真的很可惜啊 944 00:50:59,370 --> 00:51:02,350 所以也会有因此产生的笑点嘛 945 00:51:04,920 --> 00:51:08,910 那种时候 自己不知道自己好笑的地方 946 00:51:08,910 --> 00:51:10,340 其实挺好的 947 00:51:10,340 --> 00:51:12,000 别闹了 咱俩到底谁傻啊 948 00:51:32,190 --> 00:51:34,100 神谷哥 949 00:51:36,490 --> 00:51:39,780 你在和真树交往吧 950 00:51:40,410 --> 00:51:41,330 没有 951 00:51:41,330 --> 00:51:43,160 我只是住在她家里而已 952 00:51:52,400 --> 00:51:53,890 但是住在一起的话 953 00:51:55,520 --> 00:51:58,050 不会说起交往的事情吗 954 00:51:58,690 --> 00:51:59,920 说过几回 955 00:52:00,580 --> 00:52:02,620 但是我让她交个正经的男朋友 956 00:52:04,080 --> 00:52:05,870 然后真树说什么了 957 00:52:05,870 --> 00:52:07,310 她说知道了 958 00:52:11,340 --> 00:52:13,050 感觉不太好啊 959 00:52:15,570 --> 00:52:16,810 你不喜欢她吗 960 00:52:18,780 --> 00:52:21,640 我又没交房租 961 00:52:21,640 --> 00:52:22,670 她还为我做了那么多 962 00:52:22,670 --> 00:52:24,480 我也想正经一些的 963 00:52:25,220 --> 00:52:28,210 但和我交往简直就是地狱啊 964 00:52:30,080 --> 00:52:30,840 是啊 965 00:52:30,840 --> 00:52:32,280 你倒是否定我的说法啊 966 00:52:34,690 --> 00:52:37,540 即将到达终点站吉祥寺 967 00:52:38,180 --> 00:52:39,440 你明天的打工很早吗 968 00:52:39,890 --> 00:52:42,440 不 不早 969 00:52:42,850 --> 00:52:44,430 那这样吧 970 00:52:44,430 --> 00:52:45,920 去口琴巷子那边再喝一场吧 971 00:52:46,600 --> 00:52:47,850 好 走吧 972 00:52:48,980 --> 00:52:50,340 虽然是真树的钱 973 00:52:50,940 --> 00:52:51,820 什么 974 00:52:52,350 --> 00:52:56,030 我要是说和德永一起出去 975 00:52:56,030 --> 00:52:57,600 她总是会给我钱 976 00:52:58,530 --> 00:53:00,970 所以我每天都在和你一起玩 977 00:53:09,980 --> 00:53:12,780 到站的电车即将返程 978 00:53:12,780 --> 00:53:15,530 各站停车 终到涉谷站 979 00:53:16,660 --> 00:53:20,040 终点站吉祥寺 吉祥寺到了 980 00:53:28,580 --> 00:53:30,440 茂三 死了 981 00:53:31,650 --> 00:53:32,580 谁杀的 982 00:53:32,580 --> 00:53:33,740 这样的话 茂三… 983 00:53:34,460 --> 00:53:36,240 泡澡？不是正要去泡吗 984 00:53:36,600 --> 00:53:37,770 那就别说了 985 00:53:37,770 --> 00:53:38,930 滚出去 笨蛋 986 00:53:38,930 --> 00:53:40,170 你和助手说了啊 987 00:53:41,690 --> 00:53:42,860 称霸全国 988 00:53:44,260 --> 00:53:45,130 来得及吗 989 00:53:49,710 --> 00:53:50,750 没事吧 990 00:53:51,620 --> 00:53:52,850 不要哭不要哭 991 00:53:52,850 --> 00:53:53,730 啊 等一下 992 00:53:53,730 --> 00:53:55,200 大家都很不容易啊 993 00:53:56,120 --> 00:53:57,540 不要哭 明天能行吗 994 00:53:57,540 --> 00:53:58,100 肯定行的 995 00:53:58,100 --> 00:53:59,320 好好好 996 00:53:59,320 --> 00:54:00,370 谁都没有错 997 00:54:00,370 --> 00:54:01,610 谁都没有错哦 998 00:54:02,990 --> 00:54:04,020 不要哭了 999 00:54:04,020 --> 00:54:05,380 明天能行吗 能行吧 1000 00:54:05,380 --> 00:54:07,480 没问题吧 明天见 1001 00:54:40,760 --> 00:54:41,960 欢迎光临 1002 00:54:47,130 --> 00:54:48,140 早上好啊 1003 00:54:48,140 --> 00:54:49,600 不好意思来晚了 1004 00:54:50,240 --> 00:54:53,050 神谷哥 今天去哪里喝啊 1005 00:54:53,470 --> 00:54:56,050 我有很多事想和你商量 1006 00:54:56,050 --> 00:54:56,970 不是的 1007 00:54:57,780 --> 00:54:59,150 好的 怎么了 1008 00:54:59,150 --> 00:55:02,290 我要去真树家里拿行李 1009 00:55:02,290 --> 00:55:03,680 想让你和我一起去 1010 00:55:03,680 --> 00:55:05,300 好的 没问题 1011 00:55:05,300 --> 00:55:06,850 怎么了 吵架了吗 1012 00:55:08,620 --> 00:55:09,820 -真树啊 -嗯 1013 00:55:10,340 --> 00:55:11,600 -有男人了 -哎？ 1014 00:55:12,140 --> 00:55:13,120 真的吗 1015 00:55:13,710 --> 00:55:15,400 我真是很惊讶 1016 00:55:16,540 --> 00:55:19,850 -她说过在吉祥寺的夜总会工作吧 -嗯 1017 00:55:20,890 --> 00:55:23,390 实际上是家风俗店 1018 00:55:25,630 --> 00:55:28,270 来东京之后不久 在涉谷逛的时候 1019 00:55:28,270 --> 00:55:30,320 被夜总会的猎头搭话了 1020 00:55:31,260 --> 00:55:33,470 之后去面试了 1021 00:55:35,180 --> 00:55:38,330 发现是穿着幽灵服装进行特殊服务的风俗店 1022 00:55:40,090 --> 00:55:41,950 她不是很不擅长拒绝的吗 1023 00:55:43,090 --> 00:55:45,130 就一直在那做 1024 00:55:51,700 --> 00:55:56,300 是丁丁系带呀 1025 00:56:04,290 --> 00:56:05,690 你什么表情啊 1026 00:56:06,360 --> 00:56:07,280 不好意思 1027 00:56:07,900 --> 00:56:11,060 要是真树真的有了喜欢的人我也不说什么了 1028 00:56:11,780 --> 00:56:13,210 年纪也不小了 1029 00:56:13,210 --> 00:56:15,050 我虽然真的想和她交往 1030 00:56:15,050 --> 00:56:16,510 没赶上啊 1031 00:56:18,130 --> 00:56:20,510 算了 也不能在这乱说了 1032 00:56:21,850 --> 00:56:24,980 我觉得也没别的选择了 1033 00:56:29,580 --> 00:56:31,980 那 把行李全都拿出来吗 1034 00:56:32,840 --> 00:56:34,820 不 还没有找好房子 1035 00:56:35,870 --> 00:56:38,760 总之想先把明天表演需要的服装 1036 00:56:38,760 --> 00:56:40,290 和换洗的服装拿出来 1037 00:56:41,540 --> 00:56:44,730 -但是有个问题 -怎么了 1038 00:56:45,560 --> 00:56:48,260 实际上那个男人已经在她家里了 1039 00:56:49,090 --> 00:56:50,030 这样啊 1040 00:56:50,760 --> 00:56:54,610 虽然已经解释了说我是吃闲饭的 1041 00:56:54,610 --> 00:56:56,160 不过那房子气氛怪尴尬的 1042 00:56:56,160 --> 00:56:57,280 怎么能一个人去啊 1043 00:56:57,280 --> 00:56:58,540 确实 1044 00:56:58,540 --> 00:57:02,110 让我一个人去拿行李的话 1045 00:57:02,110 --> 00:57:03,870 要是被那个男人说点什么 1046 00:57:03,870 --> 00:57:05,520 我可能会杀了他啊 1047 00:57:05,520 --> 00:57:07,010 所以想让你和我一起去 1048 00:57:07,010 --> 00:57:09,210 好 两个人一起去也比较容易杀他 1049 00:57:09,210 --> 00:57:11,560 你 停下停下 别说了 1050 00:57:22,400 --> 00:57:25,340 不行 我好怕去那间房子 1051 00:57:26,980 --> 00:57:28,240 那我一个人去吧 1052 00:57:29,140 --> 00:57:30,450 不 我也去 1053 00:57:31,610 --> 00:57:33,520 就算那个男的真说了什么 1054 00:57:33,520 --> 00:57:35,370 为了真树我也会忍着的 1055 00:57:36,500 --> 00:57:38,860 但是我讨厌悲惨和伤心的感觉 1056 00:57:39,720 --> 00:57:43,130 所以我希望你进到真树的房间之后 1057 00:57:43,620 --> 00:57:45,240 能够一直保持勃起的状态 1058 00:57:47,140 --> 00:57:48,180 勃起吗 1059 00:57:49,820 --> 00:57:51,630 我真的控制不了自己情绪的时候 1060 00:57:51,630 --> 00:57:52,850 会看一眼你两腿之间 1061 00:57:53,660 --> 00:57:56,160 一想到这家伙在前辈这么惨的时候居然勃起 1062 00:57:56,160 --> 00:57:58,750 我肯定会觉得好笑 保持平常心的 1063 00:57:59,520 --> 00:58:01,360 那我这么做风险是不是太大了 1064 00:58:02,160 --> 00:58:03,960 被那个男人发现的话 1065 00:58:03,960 --> 00:58:05,330 肯定会被一顿暴揍 1066 00:58:05,970 --> 00:58:08,350 这个被打的理由肯定很少见 1067 00:58:08,350 --> 00:58:10,060 即使你的脸有疤了 1068 00:58:10,060 --> 00:58:12,560 等你红了 也可以当做猜谜游戏的答案 1069 00:58:12,560 --> 00:58:13,620 我才不干呢 1070 00:58:14,380 --> 00:58:17,060 说实话我可不太喜欢黄段子 1071 00:58:17,060 --> 00:58:17,770 我也是 1072 00:58:17,770 --> 00:58:18,720 什么嘛 1073 00:58:19,220 --> 00:58:20,340 那为什么要说这种话 1074 00:58:20,340 --> 00:58:21,460 拜托了 1075 00:58:21,460 --> 00:58:22,910 就当做是挑战试试看嘛 1076 00:58:25,570 --> 00:58:26,590 知道了 1077 00:58:44,220 --> 00:58:45,220 来了 1078 00:58:48,410 --> 00:58:50,200 啊 德永啊 1079 00:58:50,840 --> 00:58:52,040 谢谢你 1080 00:58:53,320 --> 00:58:54,240 嗨 1081 00:58:59,180 --> 00:59:03,050 绝不会饶了你们 1082 00:59:19,940 --> 00:59:20,800 打扰了 1083 00:59:51,000 --> 00:59:53,080 必要的东西我基本已经收好了 1084 00:59:53,580 --> 00:59:55,020 不好意思 其他的帮我扔了吧 1085 00:59:56,100 --> 00:59:56,860 好的 1086 00:59:57,680 --> 00:59:59,440 我会整理好把能寄的寄过去 1087 01:00:18,830 --> 01:00:20,600 开玩笑呢吧 1088 01:00:52,250 --> 01:00:53,140 我走了 1089 01:01:06,040 --> 01:01:07,120 一直以来麻烦你了 1090 01:01:08,650 --> 01:01:09,450 谢谢你 1091 01:01:14,800 --> 01:01:16,200 注意身体啊 1092 01:01:20,610 --> 01:01:21,640 够了 1093 01:01:47,600 --> 01:01:48,430 你 1094 01:01:48,860 --> 01:01:51,410 怎么还一边勃起一边抽泣呢 1095 01:01:51,410 --> 01:01:53,070 你是性欲超强的婴儿吗 1096 01:01:53,530 --> 01:01:54,880 是你命令我这么做的吧 1097 01:01:55,420 --> 01:01:57,950 你刚才在房间里一直用手抚摸来着吧 1098 01:01:57,950 --> 01:02:00,000 -可真狡猾 -什么叫狡猾啊 1099 01:02:00,000 --> 01:02:01,300 还不是没办法嘛 1100 01:02:02,060 --> 01:02:03,240 这可是我尊敬的师父 1101 01:02:03,240 --> 01:02:06,200 和温柔待我的姐姐之间的离别啊 1102 01:02:07,420 --> 01:02:08,590 那种情况下 1103 01:02:08,590 --> 01:02:10,650 光看那种粗糙的图片我可做不到 1104 01:02:12,700 --> 01:02:14,130 别看了 已经没有了 1105 01:02:23,800 --> 01:02:25,410 去吃点好吃的吧 1106 01:02:26,040 --> 01:02:26,970 好的 1107 01:02:27,700 --> 01:02:28,580 吃什么好呢 1108 01:02:28,900 --> 01:02:33,520 中国菜 日本菜 烤肉 1109 01:02:48,490 --> 01:02:49,870 头皮没事了吧 1110 01:02:50,510 --> 01:02:51,300 嗯 1111 01:02:52,350 --> 01:02:53,520 可真能忍耐 1112 01:03:02,090 --> 01:03:03,420 做什么工作的啊 1113 01:03:04,780 --> 01:03:06,170 做搞笑艺人 1114 01:03:07,400 --> 01:03:09,250 你想做搞笑艺人啊 1115 01:03:09,250 --> 01:03:12,320 我朋友在搞笑艺人培训机构上课哦 1116 01:03:13,390 --> 01:03:15,370 是嘛 这样啊 1117 01:03:28,590 --> 01:03:31,950 欢迎首次登场的Sparks 1118 01:03:31,950 --> 01:03:32,920 有请 1119 01:03:40,050 --> 01:03:42,730 大家好 我们是Sparks 1120 01:03:42,730 --> 01:03:43,930 我是Sparks的山下 1121 01:03:43,930 --> 01:03:45,400 我是Sparks的德永 1122 01:03:45,400 --> 01:03:47,210 兴趣是踩死蚂蚁 1123 01:03:47,210 --> 01:03:48,560 喂喂喂 1124 01:03:48,560 --> 01:03:50,620 怎么满脸笑容说这么吓人的话呢 1125 01:03:51,260 --> 01:03:52,700 谢谢 1126 01:03:53,500 --> 01:03:55,710 虽然舞蹈看起来很可爱 1127 01:03:56,440 --> 01:03:59,240 但是鹿谷你看起来不适合冠军的宝座呢 1128 01:03:59,240 --> 01:04:02,320 不不 坐在这里的我最明白这点了 1129 01:04:22,830 --> 01:04:25,240 这一年不仅市里 1130 01:04:25,240 --> 01:04:27,240 其他地方的学园祭也会叫我们去表演 1131 01:04:28,000 --> 01:04:30,140 那么已经完成的人举手 1132 01:04:30,140 --> 01:04:31,680 我 我 1133 01:04:33,940 --> 01:04:35,740 有请Sparks 1134 01:04:35,740 --> 01:04:38,350 在小卖部销售额中卖得最差的东西是什么呢 1135 01:04:38,350 --> 01:04:40,060 有2万5千种颜色的笔 1136 01:04:40,060 --> 01:04:41,040 好多啊 1137 01:04:41,040 --> 01:04:43,010 -有请 -我 我 1138 01:04:43,010 --> 01:04:45,530 请Red Spiders 1139 01:04:46,690 --> 01:04:48,220 超有人气 1140 01:04:48,700 --> 01:04:52,060 这种人气仅限年轻人 不过是一时的 1141 01:04:52,060 --> 01:04:55,740 所有上电视节目的艺人对这点都心知肚明 1142 01:04:56,760 --> 01:04:59,810 而我们已经过了对此产生误会的年龄了 1143 01:05:01,000 --> 01:05:05,740 装作误以为是这样 甚至把惹人厌看作是工作 1144 01:05:06,400 --> 01:05:07,650 就这样过了那个年龄 1145 01:05:07,710 --> 01:05:08,730 所以来僵尸的话 1146 01:05:08,730 --> 01:05:10,060 手电筒也好什么东西都行 1147 01:05:10,060 --> 01:05:12,200 对着僵尸的脸照过去 僵尸就会逃走了 1148 01:05:12,200 --> 01:05:14,450 -只要照光就行了吧 知道了 -就是这么回事 1149 01:05:37,870 --> 01:05:38,760 为什么 1150 01:05:39,530 --> 01:05:41,480 我的寿命还剩下3回装傻 1151 01:05:44,520 --> 01:05:45,600 什么 1152 01:05:46,970 --> 01:05:48,290 你说的寿命还剩下3回装傻 1153 01:05:48,290 --> 01:05:50,720 是一般人说的寿命还有两三年那种吗 1154 01:05:50,720 --> 01:05:51,680 是的 1155 01:05:51,680 --> 01:05:54,380 我再装3次傻就要死了 1156 01:05:54,380 --> 01:05:55,810 你那是什么病啊 1157 01:05:55,810 --> 01:05:57,320 职业病 1158 01:05:57,320 --> 01:05:58,460 -笨蛋 -疼 1159 01:05:59,630 --> 01:06:02,120 我不希望你死啊 1160 01:06:02,120 --> 01:06:03,930 所以你今天什么都不要问 1161 01:06:03,930 --> 01:06:05,410 把对抗僵尸的方法记住了回去 1162 01:06:05,410 --> 01:06:06,880 拜托了拜托了 1163 01:06:06,880 --> 01:06:08,490 不是 你更吓人好吧 1164 01:06:18,690 --> 01:06:20,820 亲爱的爸爸妈妈 1165 01:06:20,820 --> 01:06:24,460 今后我会和我身边的大脸先生幸福地生活下去 1166 01:06:24,460 --> 01:06:26,260 叫我的名字好吗 够了 1167 01:06:30,860 --> 01:06:32,690 谢谢他们 1168 01:06:32,690 --> 01:06:34,860 欣赏完了胖乎乎夫妻组的第二个段子 1169 01:06:34,860 --> 01:06:36,370 真的很有意思啊 1170 01:06:39,460 --> 01:06:41,880 接下来登场的组合是 1171 01:06:41,880 --> 01:06:48,590 第一个段子就让大家爆笑的傻瓜二人组 1172 01:06:51,150 --> 01:06:55,800 那么第二次登场究竟会用什么段子让大家爆笑呢 1173 01:06:56,280 --> 01:06:58,640 敬请欣赏傻瓜二人组的表演 1174 01:07:06,760 --> 01:07:09,650 大家好 我们是傻瓜二人组 请多关照 1175 01:07:09,650 --> 01:07:11,960 出来了两个板着脸的人哎 1176 01:07:11,960 --> 01:07:13,660 我的寿命还剩下3回装傻 1177 01:07:15,150 --> 01:07:16,060 什么 1178 01:07:16,860 --> 01:07:19,440 我的寿命还剩下3回装傻 1179 01:07:21,610 --> 01:07:22,680 什么东西 1180 01:07:24,050 --> 01:07:26,430 什么叫我的寿命还剩下3回装傻啊 1181 01:07:26,430 --> 01:07:29,130 再装3次傻我就要死了 1182 01:07:29,920 --> 01:07:31,280 你那是什么病啊 1183 01:07:31,280 --> 01:07:33,610 职业病 1184 01:07:33,610 --> 01:07:35,170 好像到第4阶段了 1185 01:07:35,170 --> 01:07:37,820 在这个舞台上说别的阶段有点那啥 1186 01:07:38,340 --> 01:07:41,580 真没想到会这样迎来生命的终结啊 1187 01:07:41,580 --> 01:07:43,450 你在乱说什么 1188 01:07:43,450 --> 01:07:46,100 我被医生宣布再装3回傻就要死了好吗 1189 01:07:47,240 --> 01:07:48,810 你理解我的心情吗 1190 01:07:48,810 --> 01:07:50,980 等一下 你们 1191 01:07:51,240 --> 01:07:52,780 完全没配上音 1192 01:07:52,780 --> 01:07:54,980 根本不能叫做漫才吧 1193 01:07:54,020 --> 01:07:56,340 那些人真的是傻子啊 1194 01:07:57,920 --> 01:08:00,840 全搞砸了 已经没救了 1195 01:08:01,650 --> 01:08:06,830 现在所有的组合两个段子都已经表演完了 1196 01:08:06,830 --> 01:08:09,200 请评委们点评一下 1197 01:08:09,260 --> 01:08:11,920 真的是非常欢乐 1198 01:08:12,640 --> 01:08:16,890 不过也有用了录音的组合 1199 01:08:16,890 --> 01:08:20,430 表演的根本不是漫才 1200 01:08:21,340 --> 01:08:23,200 除了那对 1201 01:08:23,200 --> 01:08:27,780 我觉得其他组所表演的节目水准都非常高 1202 01:08:29,160 --> 01:08:31,010 傻瓜二人组也十分搞笑啊 1203 01:08:31,010 --> 01:08:34,280 虽然好笑 但那根本称不上是漫才 1204 01:08:35,580 --> 01:08:36,610 原来如此 1205 01:08:36,610 --> 01:08:38,660 真是非常严格呢 1206 01:08:38,660 --> 01:08:42,630 但是总体来说 水准确实一年比一年高 1207 01:08:43,130 --> 01:08:47,750 有很多组合未来都值得期待 1208 01:08:49,200 --> 01:08:52,480 大家有听到吗 1209 01:08:52,480 --> 01:08:55,230 喂 值得期待哦 1210 01:09:01,430 --> 01:09:04,580 最近都没啥电视台的工作啊 1211 01:09:10,170 --> 01:09:12,810 节目导演说虽然Sparks的段子很有趣 1212 01:09:12,810 --> 01:09:15,040 但要是只演那个的话 还是很为难 1213 01:09:20,970 --> 01:09:22,820 可能你会说只要有趣就行了 1214 01:09:22,820 --> 01:09:24,610 可光有趣还是不行的啊 1215 01:09:26,770 --> 01:09:29,070 你是不是被神谷先生影响过度啊 1216 01:09:30,610 --> 01:09:32,530 我觉得还是之前的段子比较有趣 1217 01:09:41,160 --> 01:09:43,370 神谷先生也并没有想出名的意思吧 1218 01:09:48,090 --> 01:09:51,790 神谷先生从未辜负过自己觉得有趣的东西 1219 01:09:54,900 --> 01:09:57,120 从搞笑艺人角度来看可能是很有趣 1220 01:09:57,120 --> 01:09:59,440 但是搞笑的段子绝对是通俗易懂的更好 1221 01:10:00,110 --> 01:10:02,280 我们做漫才可是给普通观众看的 1222 01:10:02,280 --> 01:10:03,950 又不是对搞笑艺人做漫才 1223 01:10:04,640 --> 01:10:07,320 神谷先生面对的不是世人 1224 01:10:08,590 --> 01:10:11,130 是有一天或许能让世人回顾的东西 1225 01:10:12,250 --> 01:10:13,480 这是啥意思 1226 01:10:14,330 --> 01:10:16,490 那不就只是在逃避世间大众吗 1227 01:10:16,490 --> 01:10:17,390 不是吗 1228 01:10:20,520 --> 01:10:22,780 你根本不了解神谷先生 1229 01:10:30,140 --> 01:10:34,040 不要 我不想去那里嘛 1230 01:10:34,750 --> 01:10:36,730 你为什么一直这么不听话呢 1231 01:10:50,500 --> 01:10:51,630 我们来东京以后 1232 01:10:51,630 --> 01:10:53,660 可一直住在没有浴缸的公寓里 1233 01:12:11,970 --> 01:12:13,880 拜托了 拜托了 1234 01:12:15,130 --> 01:12:16,970 -辛苦了 -辛苦了 1235 01:12:18,320 --> 01:12:20,030 完全不明白你说的是什么啊 1236 01:12:21,230 --> 01:12:22,380 来 再来一次吧 1237 01:12:24,840 --> 01:12:26,480 老虎机和泰式拳击 1238 01:12:26,480 --> 01:12:27,820 都是一激动就会输 1239 01:12:27,820 --> 01:12:28,900 那就控制一下啦 1240 01:12:28,900 --> 01:12:30,260 谢谢大家 1241 01:12:40,110 --> 01:12:41,500 大家好 我们是Sparks组合 1242 01:12:41,500 --> 01:12:42,790 请多关照 1243 01:12:42,790 --> 01:12:45,100 在完全看不到未来的情况下 1244 01:12:46,010 --> 01:12:49,760 在莫名的愧疚与恐怖中备受折磨 1245 01:12:51,420 --> 01:12:53,020 我被僵尸吃掉？ 1246 01:12:50,630 --> 01:12:52,250 却依然拼命地努力下去 1247 01:12:52,990 --> 01:12:53,930 连续三天？ 1248 01:12:53,930 --> 01:12:55,660 这是什么梦啊 你这个人 1249 01:13:24,960 --> 01:13:25,950 早上好 1250 01:13:30,210 --> 01:13:31,420 最近过得怎么样 1251 01:13:33,850 --> 01:13:36,400 完全就是老样子 1252 01:13:36,930 --> 01:13:38,480 这个月赚了一万八千日元 1253 01:13:40,520 --> 01:13:44,390 不说那个了 今天大林哥你没穿木屐吧 1254 01:13:44,390 --> 01:13:46,000 我根本没穿过木屐啊 1255 01:13:47,240 --> 01:13:48,710 你把狗绑在电线杆上吗 1256 01:13:48,710 --> 01:13:49,770 没有绑 1257 01:13:50,420 --> 01:13:52,500 为啥我一直是西乡隆盛的人设啊 1258 01:13:53,610 --> 01:13:55,690 -你笑什么啊 -您的烤鸡肉串 久等了 1259 01:13:55,690 --> 01:13:56,750 谢谢 1260 01:14:04,200 --> 01:14:06,040 -对了 你知道吗 -什么 1261 01:14:06,040 --> 01:14:08,830 听说神谷欠了一屁股债 快过不下去了 1262 01:14:09,820 --> 01:14:11,680 真的吗 真是这样吗 1263 01:14:12,710 --> 01:14:15,700 那人在你面前逞强逞太过了吧 1264 01:14:16,480 --> 01:14:19,210 不过这也是神谷有趣的地方吧 1265 01:14:20,340 --> 01:14:22,610 他可能真的已经到不得不放弃漫才的地步了 1266 01:14:25,230 --> 01:14:27,600 不好意思 一直以来都是他请我 1267 01:14:28,590 --> 01:14:31,200 今后跟我在一起的时候 1268 01:14:31,200 --> 01:14:33,610 我尽量不让他花钱 1269 01:14:34,270 --> 01:14:35,790 又不是你的错 1270 01:14:37,440 --> 01:14:39,950 神谷在说到你的时候都很开心的样子 1271 01:14:47,100 --> 01:14:49,100 可还是想出名啊 1272 01:14:49,690 --> 01:14:50,840 是啊 1273 01:15:01,080 --> 01:15:03,370 鹿谷出场了 1274 01:15:08,150 --> 01:15:11,500 （成功男人只喝BEANS咖啡） 1275 01:15:05,800 --> 01:15:08,750 最近经常能看到鹿谷呢 1276 01:15:11,170 --> 01:15:14,280 我们表演过的将近100场漫才 1277 01:15:15,660 --> 01:15:18,460 可能在鹿谷刚出生的瞬间就被超越了吧 1278 01:15:52,530 --> 01:15:53,290 德永 1279 01:15:54,480 --> 01:15:55,400 你在干嘛呢 1280 01:15:56,010 --> 01:15:57,470 好久不见了 要不一起吃个饭吧 1281 01:16:07,880 --> 01:16:10,220 -早上好 -早上… 1282 01:16:14,350 --> 01:16:17,280 要先染个金发褪了颜色才能变银色啊 1283 01:16:17,280 --> 01:16:18,920 头真的很疼的 1284 01:16:21,080 --> 01:16:22,140 去吃饭吧 1285 01:16:23,800 --> 01:16:25,620 我不用了 1286 01:16:26,240 --> 01:16:28,320 别这么说 陪陪我啊 1287 01:16:28,320 --> 01:16:30,470 其实是我女朋友做了饭在等呢 1288 01:16:47,690 --> 01:16:49,390 这个人我在电视上见过 1289 01:16:50,600 --> 01:16:51,970 我是Sparks的德永 1290 01:16:52,590 --> 01:16:54,370 看吧 我就说我们关系很好 1291 01:16:54,370 --> 01:16:56,080 好棒 请进 1292 01:17:01,360 --> 01:17:02,800 还有饺子哦 1293 01:17:02,800 --> 01:17:04,140 这个人特喜欢吃饺子 1294 01:17:04,140 --> 01:17:04,700 真的吗 1295 01:17:04,700 --> 01:17:06,680 我很喜欢吃饺子 1296 01:17:07,730 --> 01:17:08,740 放几个比较好呢 1297 01:17:09,390 --> 01:17:10,610 -等下再放吧 -嗯 1298 01:17:13,410 --> 01:17:14,710 啥呀 你在减肥吗 1299 01:17:15,250 --> 01:17:15,870 没有没有 1300 01:17:16,570 --> 01:17:18,420 看 Sparks组合出场了 1301 01:17:19,370 --> 01:17:20,380 好棒 1302 01:17:20,380 --> 01:17:22,040 -对哦 -说什么对哦 1303 01:17:22,640 --> 01:17:25,530 如果我交到傻女友呢 为此我想练习一下 1304 01:17:25,530 --> 01:17:26,490 等…等等 1305 01:17:26,490 --> 01:17:28,600 本来你也不应该交傻女友吧 1306 01:17:29,040 --> 01:17:31,740 你可没有权力自由剥夺我恋爱的权利 1307 01:17:31,740 --> 01:17:33,560 你为啥要说两次权利 1308 01:17:33,560 --> 01:17:35,400 不过说不定你真会交到那样的女友 1309 01:17:35,400 --> 01:17:38,480 -拜托了 练一下吧 -不是不是 等等 1310 01:17:38,480 --> 01:17:40,460 我想练一下嘛 1311 01:17:41,470 --> 01:17:42,720 太搞笑了… 1312 01:18:05,160 --> 01:18:08,430 不过下周我们就要输了 1313 01:18:15,450 --> 01:18:16,780 勺子给我一下 1314 01:18:19,340 --> 01:18:21,200 神谷哥 你觉得怎么样 1315 01:18:22,670 --> 01:18:24,170 我们的段子 1316 01:18:26,390 --> 01:18:27,650 这个啊 1317 01:18:28,890 --> 01:18:32,670 按你自己的喜好去做有意思的段子可能更好吧 1318 01:18:34,990 --> 01:18:36,300 我做不到 1319 01:18:50,730 --> 01:18:52,870 -我去一下便利店 -嗯 1320 01:18:52,870 --> 01:18:54,840 -那我去买啤酒了 -嗯 1321 01:19:08,690 --> 01:19:10,350 很没意思吧 1322 01:19:11,950 --> 01:19:13,150 我们的段子 1323 01:19:15,400 --> 01:19:18,130 不 并不是没意思 1324 01:19:19,580 --> 01:19:22,340 因为我知道你是个有趣的人 1325 01:19:22,340 --> 01:19:24,550 我只是觉得你能做得更好 1326 01:19:26,480 --> 01:19:28,590 那你自己做不就好了 1327 01:19:32,080 --> 01:19:34,170 你这样嘟嘟囔囔提意见 1328 01:19:36,410 --> 01:19:38,680 干脆自己去参加试镜 去上电视 1329 01:19:39,520 --> 01:19:41,800 做有趣的漫才不就好了 1330 01:19:44,540 --> 01:19:45,770 是啊 1331 01:19:49,800 --> 01:19:51,200 就像你一样 1332 01:19:52,040 --> 01:19:53,180 我也觉得… 1333 01:19:54,270 --> 01:19:55,670 不 不只是我 1334 01:19:58,400 --> 01:20:00,000 所有的搞笑艺人 1335 01:20:00,910 --> 01:20:02,760 肯定都觉得很有趣 1336 01:20:02,760 --> 01:20:05,720 内心深处肯定会有觉得有趣的东西 1337 01:20:07,150 --> 01:20:09,380 但这个东西必须要去传达给其他人 1338 01:20:12,200 --> 01:20:14,350 如果不去做这个努力的话 1339 01:20:19,800 --> 01:20:21,470 如果不去做这个努力的话 1340 01:20:22,090 --> 01:20:26,470 自己觉得有趣的东西就会消失的 1341 01:20:31,290 --> 01:20:32,960 你想太多了吧 1342 01:20:34,090 --> 01:20:36,090 更轻松地去做自己喜欢的事就好了 1343 01:20:36,090 --> 01:20:37,660 要是做自己喜欢的事 1344 01:20:39,050 --> 01:20:41,360 要是能做自己喜欢的事就够了啊 1345 01:20:42,860 --> 01:20:45,000 但是如果不去努力的话 1346 01:20:46,590 --> 01:20:50,820 就不能继续做自己喜欢的漫才了 1347 01:20:51,630 --> 01:20:53,060 不努力不行啊 1348 01:20:53,710 --> 01:20:54,980 神谷哥 1349 01:21:00,300 --> 01:21:02,650 你肯定也不想丢掉 1350 01:21:03,470 --> 01:21:05,200 自己这无法舍弃的东西 1351 01:21:06,580 --> 01:21:09,770 才一直强行让笊篱的网眼变得更小 1352 01:21:12,680 --> 01:21:14,540 但是即使如此 就算这样… 1353 01:21:14,540 --> 01:21:16,680 真的变得更小了 1354 01:21:16,680 --> 01:21:18,380 还是会有没用的东西进去的 1355 01:21:18,380 --> 01:21:22,490 但是这些东西 连我都可以随时随地丢掉 1356 01:21:25,100 --> 01:21:28,200 请你对可以毫无顾忌地丢弃感到自豪吧 1357 01:21:39,600 --> 01:21:41,930 神谷哥 你这个发型是模仿我的吧 1358 01:21:43,490 --> 01:21:46,190 衣服也是模仿我的吧 1359 01:21:51,160 --> 01:21:54,490 神谷哥 你说过你绝对不想模仿别人的对吧 1360 01:21:56,240 --> 01:21:58,760 甚至都不想去模仿自己本人 1361 01:21:58,760 --> 01:22:01,260 你当时还特了不起地这样说过吧 1362 01:22:05,130 --> 01:22:07,740 你现在不就是在模仿别人吗 1363 01:22:13,320 --> 01:22:15,070 看到你的发型 1364 01:22:16,360 --> 01:22:18,000 就觉得蛮帅气的 1365 01:22:24,810 --> 01:22:26,820 完全就是在模仿啊 1366 01:22:38,000 --> 01:22:39,280 我去尿个尿 1367 01:23:06,060 --> 01:23:07,210 喂喂 1368 01:23:08,080 --> 01:23:11,040 本想剪成贝克汉姆的 没想到弄得像水前寺清子一样了 1369 01:23:15,360 --> 01:23:17,690 你也根本不像清子啊 1370 01:23:19,100 --> 01:23:20,280 不像吗 1371 01:23:21,810 --> 01:23:22,960 那要怎么弄 1372 01:23:23,880 --> 01:23:24,980 你弄给我看看 1373 01:23:26,380 --> 01:23:27,270 来啊 1374 01:23:28,070 --> 01:23:28,940 来啊 1375 01:23:29,780 --> 01:23:30,690 弄给我看看 1376 01:23:53,550 --> 01:23:54,270 对了 1377 01:24:11,140 --> 01:24:13,010 这是我打工的地方剩下的披萨 你拿回去吧 1378 01:24:13,640 --> 01:24:15,310 谢谢 1379 01:24:15,310 --> 01:24:16,940 虽然已经冷掉了 1380 01:24:43,300 --> 01:24:45,150 要不再喝一罐咖啡吧 1381 01:24:46,520 --> 01:24:48,220 你呢 要吗 1382 01:24:48,220 --> 01:24:49,900 不用了 我不要 1383 01:25:11,670 --> 01:25:13,850 -有20日元没 -你没有啊 1384 01:25:20,780 --> 01:25:22,570 德永 你穿的衣服真帅 1385 01:25:22,660 --> 01:25:24,240 在哪买的 1386 01:25:24,410 --> 01:25:26,470 你不是有什么话要说吗 1387 01:25:27,970 --> 01:25:29,070 嗯 1388 01:25:30,800 --> 01:25:32,000 是啊 1389 01:25:33,070 --> 01:25:34,870 什么事啊 1390 01:25:40,260 --> 01:25:43,490 我觉得我们这样下去不行 1391 01:25:44,390 --> 01:25:46,780 后辈也新人辈出 1392 01:25:49,940 --> 01:25:51,570 再努力一下啊 1393 01:25:51,660 --> 01:25:53,310 我没这个自信 1394 01:25:57,070 --> 01:26:00,000 讲漫才的自信倒是有 1395 01:26:01,000 --> 01:26:04,360 但是 没自信继续这种生活 1396 01:26:08,080 --> 01:26:11,230 我觉得我可能不适合做搞笑艺人 1397 01:26:14,930 --> 01:26:16,820 你到底怎么了 1398 01:26:20,510 --> 01:26:22,060 我 1399 01:26:22,940 --> 01:26:25,040 和女朋友领证了 1400 01:26:26,750 --> 01:26:29,250 她肚子里有了小孩 1401 01:26:36,020 --> 01:26:38,010 说是为了要出生的孩子 1402 01:26:38,030 --> 01:26:40,140 这样怎么听都像是藉口 1403 01:26:41,680 --> 01:26:42,990 但是 1404 01:26:44,130 --> 01:26:46,850 即将出生的孩子在我背后推了一把 1405 01:26:46,930 --> 01:26:48,860 这倒是真的 1406 01:26:58,980 --> 01:27:01,680 一开始是你提出要一起将漫才的 1407 01:27:06,040 --> 01:27:07,670 对不起 1408 01:27:20,150 --> 01:27:21,890 恭喜你 1409 01:27:24,710 --> 01:27:26,540 恭喜你 1410 01:27:26,950 --> 01:27:28,650 这样的话 1411 01:27:28,740 --> 01:27:30,680 就得赶快找到4人一起住的房子了 1412 01:27:30,680 --> 01:27:32,780 你又不用和我们住一起 1413 01:27:32,870 --> 01:27:34,720 和对方爸妈该怎么解释啊 1414 01:28:15,050 --> 01:28:16,620 我先走了 1415 01:28:41,530 --> 01:28:45,110 我们和事务所说了解散的事情后 1416 01:28:45,230 --> 01:28:47,660 只回复说把几个已经定好的演出 1417 01:28:47,660 --> 01:28:49,750 做完后再解散 1418 01:28:51,290 --> 01:28:56,160 没有一个人阻止我们解散 1419 01:28:56,330 --> 01:28:59,030 -去卡拉OK吧 -好啊 1420 01:29:02,610 --> 01:29:04,450 多谢招待 1421 01:29:11,040 --> 01:29:14,970 自从那天 就没见过神谷哥了 1422 01:29:16,610 --> 01:29:20,790 关于傻瓜二人组的消息也没听到过了 1423 01:30:28,460 --> 01:30:30,840 我为在同一时期 1424 01:30:30,910 --> 01:30:34,960 在同个剧场一起奋斗过的所有搞笑艺人 1425 01:30:35,060 --> 01:30:37,040 都感到骄傲 1426 01:30:38,600 --> 01:30:40,960 他们脚下踩着脏了的匡威鞋 1427 01:30:41,590 --> 01:30:44,630 身上是千篇一律的贫穷打扮 1428 01:30:44,810 --> 01:30:46,690 这样的人很多 1429 01:30:49,710 --> 01:30:51,610 但他们用一瞬间 1430 01:30:52,170 --> 01:30:54,980 让我忘记了 1431 01:30:55,050 --> 01:30:57,190 自己是被世间抛弃的人 1432 01:31:00,950 --> 01:31:04,450 让我确信那些仿佛永无天日的日子 1433 01:31:04,560 --> 01:31:07,920 并不只是在胡闹 1434 01:31:09,640 --> 01:31:11,240 那些日子 1435 01:31:11,460 --> 01:31:15,100 也许如同破败的龙宫城一般无用 1436 01:31:20,800 --> 01:31:23,840 即便彼此没有过任何交流 1437 01:31:24,090 --> 01:31:26,260 如果没有他们的存在 1438 01:31:26,440 --> 01:31:28,990 也许就没法把这种疯狂的生活 1439 01:31:29,010 --> 01:31:30,670 持续10年之久 1440 01:31:33,990 --> 01:31:37,770 自己的段子没有人笑的恐怖 1441 01:31:39,080 --> 01:31:42,620 自己的段子有人欢笑的喜悦 1442 01:31:44,750 --> 01:31:47,280 在仅此一次的人生中 1443 01:31:48,020 --> 01:31:52,580 害怕对或许毫无结果的事情进行挑战 1444 01:31:54,480 --> 01:31:56,260 就算是胆小 1445 01:31:56,560 --> 01:31:58,390 是误会 1446 01:31:58,670 --> 01:32:01,150 是无药可救的笨蛋也行 1447 01:32:03,320 --> 01:32:07,740 只有推翻常识 去全力挑战的人 1448 01:32:09,150 --> 01:32:10,970 才能成为漫才师 1449 01:32:21,640 --> 01:32:23,040 大家好 1450 01:32:23,320 --> 01:32:25,160 大家好 我们是Sparks 1451 01:32:25,210 --> 01:32:27,360 请多关照 1452 01:32:28,720 --> 01:32:33,300 为了说出推翻世界常识的漫才 1453 01:32:34,080 --> 01:32:36,820 我进了这一行 1454 01:32:37,430 --> 01:32:40,310 我们唯一推翻了的 1455 01:32:40,590 --> 01:32:44,000 只有“努力一定能够得到回报”这句话 1456 01:32:44,000 --> 01:32:45,260 这可不行啊 1457 01:32:45,360 --> 01:32:47,120 这样的话 可不行啊 1458 01:32:47,230 --> 01:32:48,890 有因为太过感伤 1459 01:32:48,960 --> 01:32:51,540 而没法好好表达自己的情况吧 1460 01:32:51,670 --> 01:32:53,350 嗯 有啊 1461 01:32:53,610 --> 01:32:55,960 所以啊 特地 1462 01:32:56,090 --> 01:33:00,020 从现在起特地说相反的事情 1463 01:33:00,250 --> 01:33:02,770 在声明的基础上 1464 01:33:02,880 --> 01:33:06,470 全力说出与自己想的完全相反的事情 1465 01:33:06,560 --> 01:33:09,530 我认为自己的想法就会准确传达到 1466 01:33:10,020 --> 01:33:13,610 你到最后都说莫名其妙的话啊 1467 01:33:13,790 --> 01:33:15,980 总之 去做了就知道了 1468 01:33:16,070 --> 01:33:17,120 笨蛋如你试试看也会明白的 1469 01:33:17,120 --> 01:33:18,780 说谁笨呢 1470 01:33:18,820 --> 01:33:20,780 那开始说反话了哦 1471 01:33:21,810 --> 01:33:24,180 喂 搭档 1472 01:33:24,700 --> 01:33:26,270 怎么 1473 01:33:26,570 --> 01:33:29,680 你的漫才可真厉害啊 1474 01:33:30,460 --> 01:33:32,220 我差点就开心了 1475 01:33:32,330 --> 01:33:34,530 你是在说反话吧 1476 01:33:34,560 --> 01:33:37,410 你从不吃螺丝 1477 01:33:38,580 --> 01:33:41,030 不论是长相 还是声音都很棒 1478 01:33:41,500 --> 01:33:42,970 老家是有钱人 1479 01:33:43,010 --> 01:33:43,840 简直太棒了 1480 01:33:43,840 --> 01:33:45,680 让人生气啊你 1481 01:33:45,780 --> 01:33:46,430 什么鬼啊 1482 01:33:46,450 --> 01:33:48,020 真是天才啊 1483 01:33:48,090 --> 01:33:49,500 抽你哦 1484 01:33:49,560 --> 01:33:52,950 但是那么天才的你也有几个大缺点 1485 01:33:53,000 --> 01:33:55,390 -啊 是什么 -首先 1486 01:33:56,260 --> 01:33:57,560 房间很脏 1487 01:33:57,680 --> 01:33:59,650 好无聊的事 1488 01:33:59,700 --> 01:34:02,030 我觉得我的房间是挺干净的了 1489 01:34:02,040 --> 01:34:03,390 但肯定还有其他事可以说啊 1490 01:34:03,440 --> 01:34:04,910 吃得少 还吃得慢 1491 01:34:05,040 --> 01:34:08,120 我其实是吃得多而且吃得很快 1492 01:34:08,290 --> 01:34:10,210 说得我像白痴似的 1493 01:34:10,460 --> 01:34:11,640 女朋友很丑 1494 01:34:11,730 --> 01:34:13,280 不是 这个挺开心的 1495 01:34:13,440 --> 01:34:14,160 虽然挺开心的 1496 01:34:14,170 --> 01:34:15,890 但不是我的事情啊 1497 01:34:15,930 --> 01:34:19,240 搭档是有绝顶才能的人 1498 01:34:19,380 --> 01:34:20,780 啥 1499 01:34:21,980 --> 01:34:26,890 对于这样有绝顶才能的天才搭档 1500 01:34:27,230 --> 01:34:30,530 10年间 总是在抱怨 1501 01:34:30,720 --> 01:34:33,930 完全不肯跟他一起前进啊 1502 01:34:37,040 --> 01:34:40,020 就是因为一直和这样的你在一起 1503 01:34:40,220 --> 01:34:44,000 所以简直无聊透顶啊 嗯 1504 01:34:44,180 --> 01:34:47,120 一点都不开心啊 1505 01:34:49,330 --> 01:34:52,240 我是世界上最不幸的人 1506 01:34:59,040 --> 01:35:01,000 还有 各位来客 1507 01:35:01,730 --> 01:35:04,380 你们还真是聪明啊 1508 01:35:04,440 --> 01:35:08,480 这种名声大噪的 1509 01:35:08,650 --> 01:35:11,520 未来一片光明的搞笑艺人的现场 1510 01:35:11,630 --> 01:35:14,060 一分钱也不付 1511 01:35:14,190 --> 01:35:16,880 还天天来 1512 01:35:18,860 --> 01:35:22,970 你们真是聪明啊 嗯 1513 01:35:23,890 --> 01:35:25,790 多亏你们 1514 01:35:25,980 --> 01:35:29,060 我每天都很痛苦 笨蛋 1515 01:35:30,530 --> 01:35:33,200 你嘴真坏啊 1516 01:35:37,170 --> 01:35:39,240 我的梦想 1517 01:35:39,630 --> 01:35:43,350 从小就不是想当漫才师 1518 01:35:46,100 --> 01:35:49,700 也就是说你从小就想当漫才师呗 1519 01:35:50,880 --> 01:35:52,990 想着绝对 1520 01:35:53,100 --> 01:35:56,100 不要当漫才师 1521 01:35:56,160 --> 01:35:57,970 想着绝对不要当 1522 01:35:57,990 --> 01:36:00,050 绝对 1523 01:36:00,930 --> 01:36:02,580 但是 1524 01:36:02,900 --> 01:36:05,010 在中学时 1525 01:36:05,570 --> 01:36:07,570 我和这个搭档相遇了 1526 01:36:07,670 --> 01:36:10,350 就因为这样才当了漫才师 1527 01:36:10,430 --> 01:36:12,850 真是太惨了 1528 01:36:13,220 --> 01:36:15,950 因为当了漫才师 我死了 1529 01:36:16,100 --> 01:36:17,410 是被杀了 1530 01:36:17,480 --> 01:36:20,480 我就是被这家伙杀掉了 1531 01:36:20,880 --> 01:36:23,110 喂 杀人犯 1532 01:36:25,740 --> 01:36:27,770 偶然 1533 01:36:28,580 --> 01:36:31,740 也会有人来褒奖我们 1534 01:36:32,410 --> 01:36:34,450 那些人 1535 01:36:34,650 --> 01:36:37,590 非常的高兴 1536 01:36:38,250 --> 01:36:41,110 我们就好像人生都被肯定了一般 1537 01:36:41,200 --> 01:36:44,000 感到极大的喜悦 1538 01:36:45,560 --> 01:36:47,740 但是在那些人中 1539 01:36:48,370 --> 01:36:51,170 也有给我们泼冷水的人 1540 01:36:52,490 --> 01:36:54,040 那就是 1541 01:36:56,040 --> 01:36:58,060 你们 1542 01:36:58,800 --> 01:37:01,020 在听吗 白痴 1543 01:37:02,650 --> 01:37:05,980 你们说Sparks是最差劲的 1544 01:37:06,590 --> 01:37:09,160 完全不想看之类的 1545 01:37:10,250 --> 01:37:14,030 否定了我们的整个人生 1546 01:37:14,070 --> 01:37:17,700 把山下 德久 Sparks的人生 1547 01:37:17,830 --> 01:37:20,460 给否定了 1548 01:37:20,850 --> 01:37:22,740 真的是 1549 01:37:23,080 --> 01:37:25,550 最讨厌你们了 傻子 1550 01:37:25,790 --> 01:37:28,830 干嘛这么专心地听啊 笨蛋 1551 01:37:34,320 --> 01:37:36,970 我们Sparks 1552 01:37:38,060 --> 01:37:41,910 今天不是最后的漫才 1553 01:37:43,760 --> 01:37:46,190 想到从今以后每天 1554 01:37:46,750 --> 01:37:49,730 都能够见到各位 1555 01:37:50,290 --> 01:37:52,800 就觉得非常高兴 1556 01:37:55,410 --> 01:37:57,000 我在10年间 1557 01:37:57,070 --> 01:37:59,840 我不以这10年为动力 1558 01:38:00,050 --> 01:38:02,000 活下去 1559 01:38:02,860 --> 01:38:05,370 所以 请现场各位 1560 01:38:05,900 --> 01:38:08,120 随便地去死吧 1561 01:38:08,910 --> 01:38:10,200 去死 1562 01:38:10,780 --> 01:38:11,890 死吧 1563 01:38:12,090 --> 01:38:13,100 去死 都去死 1564 01:38:13,230 --> 01:38:15,620 死吧 死吧 都去死吧 1565 01:38:16,080 --> 01:38:18,340 死啊 快去死吧 1566 01:38:18,600 --> 01:38:20,090 所有人都去死吧 1567 01:38:20,140 --> 01:38:21,690 去死吧 1568 01:38:23,470 --> 01:38:24,690 去死吧 1569 01:38:24,960 --> 01:38:26,690 去死吧 1570 01:38:28,990 --> 01:38:32,000 你和你的家人分开去死 1571 01:38:35,000 --> 01:38:36,780 吵死了 1572 01:38:38,720 --> 01:38:40,900 你笑什么呢 1573 01:38:44,270 --> 01:38:46,300 你不也在笑吗 1574 01:38:53,940 --> 01:38:55,280 你啊 1575 01:38:58,240 --> 01:39:00,680 从刚才开始 都在说些什么 1576 01:39:06,980 --> 01:39:09,200 把客人弄哭 你打算怎么办 1577 01:39:12,890 --> 01:39:14,900 漫才这个东西 1578 01:39:19,220 --> 01:39:21,630 必须要逗笑客人啊 1579 01:39:23,200 --> 01:39:24,810 你这样 1580 01:39:25,710 --> 01:39:27,790 算什么漫才啊 1581 01:39:30,570 --> 01:39:32,610 那你 1582 01:39:33,080 --> 01:39:35,400 在最后的最后 1583 01:39:35,720 --> 01:39:39,650 总算做到了推翻常识的漫才啊 1584 01:39:39,760 --> 01:39:41,330 吵死了 1585 01:39:45,000 --> 01:39:48,370 你在漫才最后不说些什么吗 1586 01:39:55,130 --> 01:39:56,410 搭档 1587 01:39:56,650 --> 01:39:57,990 怎么 1588 01:39:58,120 --> 01:39:59,830 客人们 1589 01:40:03,640 --> 01:40:09,420 我对各位一点感谢都没有 1590 01:40:18,560 --> 01:40:20,100 你真是最差劲的家伙啊 1591 01:40:20,130 --> 01:40:22,930 不是 我也在说反话啊 1592 01:40:23,220 --> 01:40:25,330 你明白的啊 1593 01:40:28,300 --> 01:40:31,060 你的漫才真的很厉害啊 1594 01:40:31,210 --> 01:40:33,040 你够了 1595 01:40:33,450 --> 01:40:35,220 谢谢各位 1596 01:40:58,360 --> 01:41:00,930 想再多讲讲漫才 1597 01:41:02,160 --> 01:41:04,950 想一直一直讲漫才 1598 01:41:06,000 --> 01:41:10,320 这家伙的心声真的很好懂 1599 01:41:12,630 --> 01:41:15,030 明明相信着我 1600 01:41:15,180 --> 01:41:17,730 跟着我一直过来了 1601 01:41:19,400 --> 01:41:21,920 不甘心的回忆 1602 01:41:22,570 --> 01:41:26,580 痛苦的回忆有无数 1603 01:41:28,460 --> 01:41:29,990 真的 1604 01:41:30,220 --> 01:41:31,530 对不起 1605 01:41:57,060 --> 01:42:00,350 久等了 1606 01:42:03,120 --> 01:42:04,970 这间房子您觉得怎么样 1607 01:42:06,160 --> 01:42:07,940 哇 好漂亮 1608 01:42:07,940 --> 01:42:10,490 没有和式的房子吗 1609 01:42:10,490 --> 01:42:13,050 和式啊 这样啊 1610 01:42:16,920 --> 01:42:18,940 您能喜欢真是太好了 1611 01:42:18,940 --> 01:42:21,040 车站在这边 我就此告辞了 1612 01:42:21,040 --> 01:42:23,240 -谢谢您 -谢谢您了 1613 01:42:23,240 --> 01:42:25,280 太好了 走吧 1614 01:43:39,870 --> 01:43:41,410 -妈妈 -嗯？ 1615 01:43:41,880 --> 01:43:45,040 啊 好棒啊 给我的吗 1616 01:43:45,580 --> 01:43:48,120 谢谢 我们一起吹吧 1617 01:43:49,450 --> 01:43:50,540 加油 加油 1618 01:43:54,600 --> 01:43:55,930 一二 1619 01:43:57,120 --> 01:43:59,180 粘在脸上了 转过来 1620 01:44:00,200 --> 01:44:02,240 好 取下来了 取下来了 1621 01:44:06,770 --> 01:44:08,090 我们走吧 1622 01:44:09,910 --> 01:44:12,260 去不去看池塘 有鱼 1623 01:44:48,250 --> 01:44:50,860 （德永 吃饭了吗 吃不吃锅 你的牙齿很坚固吧） 1624 01:45:04,110 --> 01:45:05,190 你好呀 1625 01:45:12,380 --> 01:45:13,740 神谷哥 1626 01:45:15,390 --> 01:45:17,350 你之前都在做什么啊 1627 01:45:18,270 --> 01:45:21,930 被我搭档痛揍了一顿 1628 01:45:23,240 --> 01:45:25,120 发生什么事了 1629 01:45:25,120 --> 01:45:28,010 德永 你听我说 真是够惨的 1630 01:45:28,010 --> 01:45:28,600 好 1631 01:45:28,600 --> 01:45:31,880 那个 我今天去事务所道歉 1632 01:45:31,880 --> 01:45:33,730 已经行不通了 1633 01:45:33,730 --> 01:45:35,660 那是肯定的啊 1634 01:45:35,660 --> 01:45:39,620 债越欠越多 真是走投无路了 1635 01:45:39,620 --> 01:45:42,260 我回了大阪 为了钱到处奔走 1636 01:45:43,850 --> 01:45:45,040 你还钱了吗 1637 01:45:45,040 --> 01:45:49,260 结果搞得自己破产陷入危机才还了钱 1638 01:45:49,260 --> 01:45:51,550 德永 绝对不要借钱啊 1639 01:45:51,550 --> 01:45:52,060 是 1640 01:45:52,060 --> 01:45:54,600 讨债的人真的很恐怖 1641 01:45:59,320 --> 01:46:00,490 那是什么 1642 01:46:02,130 --> 01:46:03,510 F罩杯 1643 01:46:06,210 --> 01:46:08,490 反正要做的话还是大一点有趣啊 1644 01:46:08,490 --> 01:46:10,220 放了好多硅胶呢 1645 01:46:11,440 --> 01:46:14,960 虽然我以前一直否定特色 1646 01:46:14,960 --> 01:46:16,850 但又觉得那是不行的 1647 01:46:16,850 --> 01:46:20,650 输给有特色的有趣其实一点都不有趣 1648 01:46:23,950 --> 01:46:25,250 太乱来了 1649 01:46:27,260 --> 01:46:29,290 这样别人只会看到你的胸了 1650 01:46:33,560 --> 01:46:34,810 谁会为此而笑啊 1651 01:46:35,610 --> 01:46:37,810 干嘛啊 不是很有趣吗 1652 01:46:51,950 --> 01:46:54,060 一点乐趣都没有 1653 01:46:57,120 --> 01:46:59,290 我以为这样就能上电视了啊 1654 01:46:59,290 --> 01:47:00,880 怎么可能 1655 01:47:02,430 --> 01:47:04,440 看到30多岁的巨乳大叔 1656 01:47:05,500 --> 01:47:07,000 谁会笑啊 1657 01:47:10,630 --> 01:47:11,550 我说 1658 01:47:12,750 --> 01:47:19,200 你觉得大叔做了巨乳会很有趣 1659 01:47:21,080 --> 01:47:24,290 但是这个世上有很多人因为性的问题 1660 01:47:25,690 --> 01:47:32,420 社会中有很多人因为性别问题而感到苦恼 1661 01:47:35,260 --> 01:47:36,720 这样的人 1662 01:47:38,590 --> 01:47:40,390 看到你的样子 1663 01:47:42,030 --> 01:47:43,290 会怎么想 1664 01:47:45,740 --> 01:47:48,330 -会很不开心 -对啊 1665 01:47:56,120 --> 01:47:58,760 如果所有人都像你一样的话 1666 01:47:59,800 --> 01:48:02,450 也许不会出什么问题 或者说 1667 01:48:03,230 --> 01:48:08,240 如果你是真的单纯想成为女人 1668 01:48:09,850 --> 01:48:11,600 也没有问题 1669 01:48:13,620 --> 01:48:15,560 但并不是这样吧 1670 01:48:18,030 --> 01:48:19,720 我们和这个世界上的人 1671 01:48:20,600 --> 01:48:22,780 都知道有奇怪的人 1672 01:48:22,780 --> 01:48:24,970 把那样的人当做傻瓜 1673 01:48:27,370 --> 01:48:29,420 如果是不认识你的人见到你 1674 01:48:30,760 --> 01:48:32,680 就会认为你是那样的人 1675 01:48:37,820 --> 01:48:40,970 我明白你没有恶意 虽然我明白 1676 01:48:46,510 --> 01:48:51,200 但我们不能完全无视这个世界啊 1677 01:48:53,240 --> 01:48:55,000 德永 不要说了 1678 01:48:58,240 --> 01:48:59,420 是我的错 1679 01:49:02,270 --> 01:49:03,950 真是够傻的 1680 01:49:27,310 --> 01:49:28,200 烟花 1681 01:49:33,260 --> 01:49:35,870 我们去看烟花吧 1682 01:49:38,270 --> 01:49:40,090 神谷哥 我们去看烟花吧 1683 01:49:43,180 --> 01:49:45,140 现在哪有地方放烟火 1684 01:49:45,140 --> 01:49:46,470 有的 1685 01:49:47,900 --> 01:49:48,870 我们走吧 1686 01:49:54,610 --> 01:49:57,690 让我想起了中学时的毕业旅行哎 1687 01:49:57,690 --> 01:49:58,650 哇 大海 1688 01:49:59,690 --> 01:50:02,010 -真好啊 -真不错啊 1689 01:50:02,010 --> 01:50:03,310 终于来了 1690 01:50:04,930 --> 01:50:07,430 已经快到热海了啦 1691 01:50:11,680 --> 01:50:13,630 -德永 -嗯 1692 01:50:13,630 --> 01:50:15,480 抱歉不能和你一起泡澡 1693 01:50:15,480 --> 01:50:16,580 多嘴 1694 01:50:17,230 --> 01:50:19,000 话说我到底进哪个澡堂比较好啊 1695 01:50:19,000 --> 01:50:21,020 我怎么知道啊 1696 01:50:27,440 --> 01:50:28,490 太棒啦 1697 01:50:37,140 --> 01:50:38,110 德永 快看啊 1698 01:50:38,110 --> 01:50:39,550 我在看呢 1699 01:51:14,960 --> 01:51:16,690 我们那时就坐在这里吧 1700 01:51:17,440 --> 01:51:18,680 应该是吧 1701 01:51:20,000 --> 01:51:21,930 真是一点都没变啊 1702 01:51:21,930 --> 01:51:23,690 我们10年前来过这里 1703 01:51:23,690 --> 01:51:24,680 您还记得吗 1704 01:51:25,450 --> 01:51:27,800 -我吃好了 -谢谢您 1705 01:51:27,800 --> 01:51:29,960 啊 不好意思 1706 01:51:29,960 --> 01:51:32,680 妈妈 这里我不懂 1707 01:51:32,680 --> 01:51:34,080 啊 好的好的 1708 01:51:35,800 --> 01:51:38,480 嗯 我们在这边做吧 1709 01:51:57,000 --> 01:52:04,840 （热海搞笑大奖赛2012） 1710 01:51:58,600 --> 01:52:00,250 这个不是明天吗 1711 01:52:00,870 --> 01:52:03,180 啊 是啊 1712 01:52:05,170 --> 01:52:07,160 我们两个去参加吧 1713 01:52:07,160 --> 01:52:08,970 可是已经截止报名了 1714 01:52:09,820 --> 01:52:11,440 总有办法吧 1715 01:52:11,930 --> 01:52:13,120 没办法的 1716 01:52:14,530 --> 01:52:17,590 姐 打扰您学习了 1717 01:52:17,590 --> 01:52:19,400 这个现在还能报名吗 1718 01:52:19,400 --> 01:52:21,790 好像当场报名也没事哦 1719 01:52:21,790 --> 01:52:22,970 一点人气都没有啊 1720 01:52:23,650 --> 01:52:25,180 我们去参加吧 1721 01:52:25,180 --> 01:52:27,250 -不去 -去吧 1722 01:52:27,250 --> 01:52:28,340 不要 1723 01:52:29,310 --> 01:52:31,390 你不听师父的话了吗 1724 01:52:33,350 --> 01:52:35,380 我作为搞笑艺人已经引退了 1725 01:52:40,600 --> 01:52:41,600 德永 1726 01:52:42,170 --> 01:52:42,900 是 1727 01:52:43,980 --> 01:52:47,810 我觉得搞笑艺人没有隐退一说 1728 01:52:49,480 --> 01:52:53,130 你10年间一直在思考有趣的事 1729 01:52:53,130 --> 01:52:55,830 一直在剧场里让别人发笑对吧 1730 01:52:55,830 --> 01:52:58,280 偶尔也会有没人笑的情况 1731 01:52:58,280 --> 01:53:01,550 只是偶尔 但是你一直在让别人发笑 1732 01:53:02,270 --> 01:53:05,810 也就是说你掌握了一种出人意料的超能力 1733 01:53:06,410 --> 01:53:08,130 就和拳击手一样 1734 01:53:08,130 --> 01:53:10,140 那些人即使默默无闻也可以轻易杀死别人 1735 01:53:11,020 --> 01:53:12,590 搞笑艺人也是一样 1736 01:53:13,370 --> 01:53:17,950 不过搞笑艺人的拳头越打让人越幸福 1737 01:53:19,750 --> 01:53:21,680 所以即使放弃做搞笑艺人 1738 01:53:21,680 --> 01:53:24,240 以其他的工作谋生 1739 01:53:24,240 --> 01:53:26,220 也能以搞笑而向别人挥拳 1740 01:53:26,950 --> 01:53:30,200 像你这样的拳手哪里都没有 1741 01:53:37,410 --> 01:53:40,990 漫才一个人做不了 1742 01:53:42,680 --> 01:53:44,650 没有两个人以上做不了 1743 01:53:54,120 --> 01:53:57,740 但是我认为只有两个人的话也做不了 1744 01:53:59,650 --> 01:54:02,170 有时我想 如果世上漫才师只有我 1745 01:54:02,170 --> 01:54:04,720 我会这么努力吗 1746 01:54:06,110 --> 01:54:08,970 正因为身边有很多很厉害的家伙 1747 01:54:08,970 --> 01:54:10,810 我们才一直思考那些人没做的事 1748 01:54:10,810 --> 01:54:13,600 以及那些人将要做的事 不是吗 1749 01:54:14,560 --> 01:54:17,150 其实就像是共同合作一样 1750 01:54:19,400 --> 01:54:22,260 也许同年龄层里受欢迎的人只有几个 1751 01:54:23,560 --> 01:54:28,040 但是和周围的人相互比较 自我创新 1752 01:54:28,040 --> 01:54:29,680 或者被淘汰 1753 01:54:31,930 --> 01:54:35,350 这场大型的盛会就是有输有赢 1754 01:54:35,350 --> 01:54:36,560 所以才有趣 1755 01:54:37,770 --> 01:54:43,660 但是被淘汰的人绝对不是没意义的 1756 01:54:44,870 --> 01:54:47,770 也许有的家伙会觉得如果没加入这行就好了 1757 01:54:48,990 --> 01:54:50,620 比如 1758 01:54:50,620 --> 01:54:53,180 绝对不会出现说除了获胜的组合之外 1759 01:54:53,180 --> 01:54:54,650 其他人都不参加就好了的情况 1760 01:54:54,650 --> 01:54:57,640 如果只有一组的话绝对不会觉得那么有意思了 1761 01:54:59,290 --> 01:55:01,690 所以即使只登上过舞台一次 1762 01:55:02,790 --> 01:55:04,610 也绝对是有必要的 1763 01:55:07,590 --> 01:55:10,010 绝对 1764 01:55:11,930 --> 01:55:13,870 所有人都是必需的 1765 01:55:17,210 --> 01:55:21,150 所以从此以后所有的漫才都和我们有关 1766 01:55:24,410 --> 01:55:26,280 也就是说无论你做什么 1767 01:55:27,480 --> 01:55:29,590 作为搞笑艺人都没有隐退一说 1768 01:55:38,400 --> 01:55:39,580 谢谢 1769 01:55:40,410 --> 01:55:42,620 所以我们去吧 漫才比赛 1770 01:55:42,620 --> 01:55:44,110 真的吗 1771 01:55:44,110 --> 01:55:45,320 我们写段子吧 1772 01:55:48,240 --> 01:55:50,110 好不容易来一次 1773 01:55:50,110 --> 01:55:52,190 泡个温泉好好享受一下吧 1774 01:55:53,060 --> 01:55:55,200 你已经充满干劲儿了啊 1775 01:55:55,970 --> 01:55:58,030 好好享受一下嘛 1776 01:56:03,600 --> 01:56:05,080 抱歉抱歉 1777 01:56:08,080 --> 01:56:10,160 -喂 德永 -是 1778 01:56:10,160 --> 01:56:12,160 我想到一个了不起的段子 1779 01:56:14,120 --> 01:56:18,640 那个 表演的时候旁边一直站着一个无家可归的大叔 1780 01:56:19,590 --> 01:56:23,190 但是我们讲漫才的时候完全不理他 1781 01:56:23,190 --> 01:56:25,500 然后那个大叔突然开始 1782 01:56:25,500 --> 01:56:28,270 朗诵写给家人的超级感人的诗 1783 01:56:28,270 --> 01:56:29,240 什么啊 1784 01:56:29,240 --> 01:56:30,700 我们活着 1785 01:56:31,580 --> 01:56:34,410 只要活着就没有悲剧的结局 1786 01:56:35,550 --> 01:56:37,240 我们还在路上 1787 01:56:37,990 --> 01:56:39,960 此后还要继续 1788 01:56:39,960 --> 01:56:41,150 去吧 去说漫才 1789 01:56:41,150 --> 01:56:42,350 我都说了不去… 1790 01:56:46,450 --> 01:56:51,800 在与你相遇的商业街 1791 01:56:53,050 --> 01:56:58,800 那间只有炖菜的鲸鱼屋 1792 01:56:59,280 --> 01:57:05,250 诉说着梦想的气泡酒 1793 01:57:06,510 --> 01:57:12,340 约定在泡沫中绽放 1794 01:57:12,680 --> 01:57:18,540 灯火阑珊的浅草 1795 01:57:19,770 --> 01:57:27,280 在只有一个暖炉的公寓里 1796 01:57:31,480 --> 01:57:37,480 第一次买相同的西装 1797 01:57:38,110 --> 01:57:44,370 做了相同样式的领结 1798 01:57:44,370 --> 01:57:50,450 却没钱买相同的鞋子 1799 01:57:51,570 --> 01:57:57,770 这一直被我们当做笑梗 1800 01:57:57,770 --> 01:58:03,620 相信总有一天我们会大受欢迎 1801 01:58:04,820 --> 01:58:10,400 却在只有两位客人的剧场里表演 1802 01:58:35,740 --> 01:58:42,370 把寄托梦想的百元硬币 1803 01:58:43,050 --> 01:58:49,370 扔出去虔诚地祈祷 1804 01:58:49,370 --> 01:58:55,310 脸上浮现出孩童的天真 1805 01:58:56,250 --> 01:59:01,880 我再次被你纯洁的心灵吸引 1806 01:59:03,140 --> 01:59:09,080 我独自一人拜访你的公寓 1807 01:59:09,820 --> 01:59:15,850 玻璃杯相碰间怀念从前 1808 01:59:15,850 --> 01:59:22,110 我们也有那样的时代啊 1809 01:59:23,020 --> 01:59:29,220 你笑得背影都晃动起来 1810 01:59:29,220 --> 01:59:35,570 不要说我们已经放弃梦想 1811 01:59:36,420 --> 01:59:42,400 我们明明只此一个目标 1812 01:59:42,600 --> 01:59:50,370 不要说我们已经放弃梦想 1813 01:59:51,680 --> 01:59:58,680 我们明明只此一条路 118343

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