Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:14,014 --> 00:00:20,542
♪♪♪
2
00:00:20,585 --> 00:00:22,152
♪ Don't care what
you think about it ♪
3
00:00:22,196 --> 00:00:23,806
♪ Ain't here
to please nobody ♪
4
00:00:23,849 --> 00:00:25,416
♪ I'm a-running undercover
5
00:00:25,460 --> 00:00:26,896
♪ Here comes trouble now
6
00:00:26,939 --> 00:00:30,813
♪♪♪
7
00:00:30,856 --> 00:00:34,991
♪ Me and my wicked ways
8
00:00:35,035 --> 00:00:37,080
♪ I'll get you
into trouble now ♪
9
00:00:37,124 --> 00:00:41,215
♪ It's just
so hard to behave ♪
10
00:00:41,258 --> 00:00:43,521
♪ Got you
seeing double now ♪
11
00:00:43,565 --> 00:00:49,832
♪♪♪
12
00:00:49,875 --> 00:00:51,529
♪ I'm the one
your mama told you ♪
13
00:00:51,573 --> 00:00:53,357
♪ Oh, boy,
the world is torture ♪
14
00:00:53,401 --> 00:00:54,837
♪ A risk you can't afford
15
00:00:54,880 --> 00:00:56,491
♪ And here comes trouble now
16
00:00:56,534 --> 00:01:00,190
♪ Turning it up all night
17
00:01:00,234 --> 00:01:03,454
♪ Got you feeling high
18
00:01:03,498 --> 00:01:06,718
♪ Turning it up all night
19
00:01:06,762 --> 00:01:09,852
♪ Got you feeling high
20
00:01:09,895 --> 00:01:11,897
♪ Get you into trouble now
21
00:01:11,941 --> 00:01:17,294
♪♪♪
22
00:01:17,338 --> 00:01:26,825
♪♪♪
23
00:01:26,869 --> 00:01:29,959
- What animal would best
represent me in bed?
24
00:01:30,002 --> 00:01:34,094
I would say maybe a wombat.
25
00:01:34,137 --> 00:01:35,791
Wombats are like, you know,
26
00:01:35,834 --> 00:01:38,228
they're a little pudgy
and hairy, slightly exotic.
27
00:01:38,272 --> 00:01:41,101
They have a strength to them,
but they're cute and cuddly.
28
00:01:41,144 --> 00:01:42,406
But also, you know,
they could be a little vicious
29
00:01:42,450 --> 00:01:44,147
if you mess with them.
30
00:01:44,191 --> 00:01:46,454
- I think a wolf puppy
31
00:01:46,497 --> 00:01:49,587
would probably be
my spirit animal in the bedroom.
32
00:01:49,631 --> 00:01:52,199
I have a lot of energy, and I
want to jump up and down...
33
00:01:52,242 --> 00:01:54,114
[ laughs ]
34
00:01:54,157 --> 00:01:58,118
Bite and scratch and consume
the one I'm having sex with.
35
00:01:58,161 --> 00:02:00,207
- My wife would answer that
question better than I could.
36
00:02:00,250 --> 00:02:02,948
From her perspective,
I'm like sloth or snail.
37
00:02:02,992 --> 00:02:06,169
- I would say a caterpillar,
right? Because here's why.
38
00:02:06,213 --> 00:02:10,347
A caterpillar blossoms into
a beautiful butterfly, right?
39
00:02:10,391 --> 00:02:13,176
And so if the communication
and the consent is there
40
00:02:13,220 --> 00:02:15,570
and I'm happy,
then I become the butterfly.
41
00:02:15,613 --> 00:02:17,702
You get all the colors
of the butterfly.
42
00:02:17,746 --> 00:02:20,749
- When it comes to role playing
as an animal in the bedroom,
43
00:02:20,792 --> 00:02:24,579
I would have to say being a lion
44
00:02:24,622 --> 00:02:27,799
because I'm the type that falls
asleep after sex. [ laughs ]
45
00:02:27,843 --> 00:02:29,714
- I kind of consider myself
46
00:02:29,758 --> 00:02:33,153
a very animalistic person
all the time.
47
00:02:33,196 --> 00:02:36,895
It makes me feel like
I'm some kind of crow or owl.
48
00:02:36,939 --> 00:02:40,029
- Hmm, what animal? That really
depends how I'm feeling.
49
00:02:40,072 --> 00:02:41,639
But I guess I would say a bunny.
50
00:02:41,683 --> 00:02:44,860
Like they're always fucking,
right? So a bunny.
51
00:02:44,903 --> 00:02:47,428
- Maybe I'll try being a tiger
tonight and see what happens.
52
00:02:47,471 --> 00:02:49,952
[ laughs ]
- Maybe.
53
00:02:49,995 --> 00:02:51,954
- My name is Amanda.
- My name is Mike.
54
00:02:51,997 --> 00:02:53,347
- My name is Angela.
- Augusta.
55
00:02:53,390 --> 00:02:54,348
- Bryan, and this is..
- And this...
56
00:02:54,391 --> 00:02:55,479
- And this...
57
00:02:55,523 --> 00:02:57,177
- And this is our "Sex Life."
58
00:03:01,746 --> 00:03:03,052
♪♪♪
59
00:03:03,095 --> 00:03:04,706
- I think when it comes
to kinks,
60
00:03:04,749 --> 00:03:06,795
a lot of people are just
looking for that permission.
61
00:03:06,838 --> 00:03:09,624
Everyone's got something
that they're into.
62
00:03:09,667 --> 00:03:13,280
Kink is anything that's not
just penetrative sex.
63
00:03:13,323 --> 00:03:17,371
- Being into underwear,
high heels, stockings,
64
00:03:17,414 --> 00:03:19,982
all those things have
become mainstream,
65
00:03:20,025 --> 00:03:24,682
and so many people have those
kinks that it's just normalized.
66
00:03:26,902 --> 00:03:30,035
Other people have really
specific kinks
67
00:03:30,079 --> 00:03:33,256
that socially aren't accepted
in mainstream life.
68
00:03:33,300 --> 00:03:34,866
- Aah!
69
00:03:34,910 --> 00:03:36,607
- Some people have
a slave-master relationship.
70
00:03:36,651 --> 00:03:39,828
Others have
a daddy-voyeur relationship.
71
00:03:39,871 --> 00:03:42,570
We have
a daddy-pup relationship.
72
00:03:42,613 --> 00:03:47,314
And we encourage that and act
on those without shame.
73
00:03:47,357 --> 00:03:52,449
♪♪♪
74
00:03:52,493 --> 00:03:55,974
- We started dating
about five--
75
00:03:56,018 --> 00:03:58,977
Oh, my God.
Five years ago now. [ laughs ]
76
00:03:59,021 --> 00:04:01,284
We met at a library
in the publication section.
77
00:04:01,328 --> 00:04:03,721
[ laughs ]
- No, that's not where we met.
78
00:04:03,765 --> 00:04:07,986
We would go to these kink
conventions and do demos.
79
00:04:08,030 --> 00:04:10,598
- Think of Comic-Con,
but with leather and latex
80
00:04:10,641 --> 00:04:14,384
and just be hallways full
of kinksters of all kinds.
81
00:04:14,428 --> 00:04:17,909
♪♪♪
82
00:04:17,953 --> 00:04:22,436
- And Amp was just kind of
milling around in the audience.
83
00:04:22,479 --> 00:04:26,396
And when I was done with
tying up these jock-like boys,
84
00:04:26,440 --> 00:04:28,311
I kind of had a lull.
85
00:04:28,355 --> 00:04:30,661
And he was cute and I said,
"Do you wanna get tied up?"
86
00:04:30,705 --> 00:04:32,620
And what was your response?
87
00:04:32,663 --> 00:04:34,578
- "I am a puppy and I'm just
here to make you happy."
88
00:04:44,719 --> 00:04:48,549
♪♪♪
89
00:04:48,592 --> 00:04:50,202
Puppy Play is
an animal role play
90
00:04:50,246 --> 00:04:51,508
where generally there's
two people involved--
91
00:04:51,552 --> 00:04:54,250
a top and a bottom.
- Ready to play?
92
00:04:54,294 --> 00:04:55,904
- Yeah.
93
00:04:55,947 --> 00:04:57,775
The bottom gets
into a head space
94
00:04:57,819 --> 00:05:02,345
where they are pretending to be
a puppy that's barking,
95
00:05:02,389 --> 00:05:04,695
that's rolling around,
that's playing.
96
00:05:04,739 --> 00:05:06,044
[ barking ]
97
00:05:06,088 --> 00:05:07,437
Not even necessarily about sex.
98
00:05:07,481 --> 00:05:10,048
People use it as like
a therapeutic
99
00:05:10,092 --> 00:05:11,572
getting out of
their head for the day.
100
00:05:11,615 --> 00:05:13,225
- Bring it here.
- They are not an actual dog.
101
00:05:13,269 --> 00:05:15,010
It's not about bestiality.
- Right here.
102
00:05:15,053 --> 00:05:16,098
- No animals are involved.
103
00:05:16,141 --> 00:05:18,318
[ grunting ]
104
00:05:18,361 --> 00:05:22,191
It's just humans role playing
as an animal.
105
00:05:22,234 --> 00:05:23,061
- Fetch.
106
00:05:23,105 --> 00:05:24,889
- For me, a puppy.
107
00:05:28,632 --> 00:05:31,069
- Mm.
108
00:05:31,113 --> 00:05:33,550
- It's a wonderful,
very intimate thing
109
00:05:33,594 --> 00:05:35,422
that I want to share with him...
110
00:05:35,465 --> 00:05:38,207
- [ speaks indistinctly ]
111
00:05:38,250 --> 00:05:40,775
- ... and that we get
to share together.
112
00:05:40,818 --> 00:05:43,734
It makes us closer.
113
00:05:45,736 --> 00:05:48,478
- Oh, yeah. Love you, puppy.
114
00:05:48,522 --> 00:05:52,700
But it's also bringing in
this new cuddle-loving vibe
115
00:05:52,743 --> 00:05:55,616
that I've never had before.
116
00:05:57,922 --> 00:06:02,362
- We are two kinksters
in a relationship.
117
00:06:04,233 --> 00:06:06,322
I'm into Puppy Play,
118
00:06:06,366 --> 00:06:10,761
and Christopher--
he's into Pony Play.
119
00:06:12,720 --> 00:06:19,422
♪♪♪
120
00:06:19,466 --> 00:06:21,816
This weekend,
we are going up to a farm.
121
00:06:21,859 --> 00:06:23,992
And I'm actually gonna get to
see Christopher
122
00:06:24,035 --> 00:06:25,210
do some Pony Play
for the first time.
123
00:06:25,254 --> 00:06:26,603
- Let's go!
124
00:06:26,647 --> 00:06:29,476
- I've always
seen, like, pictures.
125
00:06:29,519 --> 00:06:31,434
I've seen little clips
here or there,
126
00:06:31,478 --> 00:06:33,958
but I've never really seen it
in person.
127
00:06:34,002 --> 00:06:36,091
Well, I'm excited.
- Are you?
128
00:06:36,134 --> 00:06:38,136
- I think it'll be fun.
I think it will be interesting.
129
00:06:38,180 --> 00:06:42,010
- It's not gonna be weird
seeing me led around and...
130
00:06:42,053 --> 00:06:43,620
- I don't think it'll be weird.
131
00:06:43,664 --> 00:06:47,232
I mean, you're getting
to express yourself.
132
00:06:47,276 --> 00:06:49,234
You're doing it with people
that you trust.
133
00:06:49,278 --> 00:06:55,110
- Pony Play is a BDSM dynamic
people get into
134
00:06:55,153 --> 00:06:58,766
to experience
the feeling of being a horse.
135
00:06:58,809 --> 00:07:00,898
And sometimes it can be erotic,
136
00:07:00,942 --> 00:07:04,815
but a lot of times, it can be
just the mindset of it.
137
00:07:04,859 --> 00:07:08,384
- So how do ponies talk?
Like, how do they communicate?
138
00:07:08,428 --> 00:07:10,473
- They whinny,
which I don't know how to do.
139
00:07:10,517 --> 00:07:14,172
They nuzzle, and they trot.
140
00:07:14,216 --> 00:07:15,739
- Can you give me
your best whinny?
141
00:07:15,783 --> 00:07:17,306
- [ imitates horse whinny ]
142
00:07:17,349 --> 00:07:20,178
Yeah, see? Not good.
- We'll work on that.
143
00:07:20,222 --> 00:07:23,138
♪♪♪
144
00:07:31,494 --> 00:07:32,974
[ rain falling ]
145
00:07:33,017 --> 00:07:34,497
[ rooster crows ]
146
00:07:34,541 --> 00:07:38,936
Here we are.
The cute little white house.
147
00:07:38,980 --> 00:07:42,244
[ dog barks ]
148
00:07:42,287 --> 00:07:45,508
- Being born in Wyoming
and growing up in Colorado,
149
00:07:45,552 --> 00:07:48,468
horses have always just been
this kind of spiritual,
150
00:07:48,511 --> 00:07:52,123
peaceful animal to me.
[ horse blusters ]
151
00:07:52,167 --> 00:07:54,386
So that's why I kind of
gravitate towards them.
152
00:07:54,430 --> 00:07:55,605
Hi.
153
00:07:55,649 --> 00:07:57,302
[ horse nickers ]
154
00:07:57,346 --> 00:07:59,391
Well, hello. [ laughs ]
155
00:07:59,435 --> 00:08:01,263
- Hi.
- [ grunt s]
156
00:08:01,306 --> 00:08:04,353
- Chris and myself both have
our own kinks and our own people
157
00:08:04,396 --> 00:08:07,008
that we play with on occasion
because we are open in that way.
158
00:08:07,051 --> 00:08:08,575
We are poly.
- Hmm.
159
00:08:08,618 --> 00:08:10,881
- It's all about love
and having a good time
160
00:08:10,925 --> 00:08:14,232
and expressing ourselves and...
- Like showing up.
161
00:08:14,276 --> 00:08:16,104
- Yeah, you're so cute.
162
00:08:16,147 --> 00:08:17,235
- [ laughs ]
163
00:08:17,279 --> 00:08:19,324
- So let's go in back.
164
00:08:19,368 --> 00:08:20,978
- We'll see you later.
165
00:08:21,022 --> 00:08:23,024
- All right, show me what
we're working with.
166
00:08:23,067 --> 00:08:26,027
- Okay, so this is
the main barn.
167
00:08:26,070 --> 00:08:29,944
What would you normally do in
a place like this? Ooh, rope!
168
00:08:29,987 --> 00:08:34,644
- I wouldn't gallop or trot,
but there is lots of bondage.
169
00:08:34,688 --> 00:08:37,342
Tie points. Bobby!
170
00:08:37,386 --> 00:08:38,735
- What?
- Get down there.
171
00:08:38,779 --> 00:08:40,607
- [ chuckles ]
- You're incorrigible.
172
00:08:40,650 --> 00:08:42,434
See, this is the difference
between puppies and horses.
173
00:08:42,478 --> 00:08:44,828
Horses don't climb.
I don't think puppies do either.
174
00:08:44,872 --> 00:08:46,613
- I don't think puppies
do either.
175
00:08:46,656 --> 00:08:49,180
- [ lowered voice ] Shh!
Don't tell him. Don't tell him.
176
00:08:49,224 --> 00:08:53,097
So I do have dynamic
with my puppy
177
00:08:53,141 --> 00:08:58,494
where I'm his dom,
and he's my sub.
178
00:08:58,538 --> 00:09:04,195
But also, I like to be
submissive, and I like to serve.
179
00:09:04,239 --> 00:09:06,589
Danny and I have played before.
180
00:09:06,633 --> 00:09:10,419
And I knew he's dom enough
to control me.
181
00:09:10,462 --> 00:09:13,422
- I had never thought
about being a Pony trainer
182
00:09:13,465 --> 00:09:16,251
until I met Christopher.
183
00:09:18,209 --> 00:09:21,299
Pony Play is more of
straight kink culture.
184
00:09:21,343 --> 00:09:25,956
There's not a lot of gay men
who are into Pony Play.
185
00:09:26,000 --> 00:09:28,176
Christopher's kind of rare.
186
00:09:30,961 --> 00:09:34,791
- I'm a little nervous,
maybe a little apprehensive.
187
00:09:34,835 --> 00:09:39,753
But I'm also going into it
with a fascination about it.
188
00:09:39,796 --> 00:09:43,713
It's kind of looking
behind the veil.
189
00:09:43,757 --> 00:09:46,324
- Bobby?
- Yeah?
190
00:09:46,368 --> 00:09:47,325
- Need some help?
191
00:09:47,369 --> 00:09:49,240
- [ laughs ]
192
00:09:49,284 --> 00:09:52,026
- Brush. Brush. Shh.
193
00:09:52,069 --> 00:09:54,985
This one goes...oh, you're
totally in the wrong strap.
194
00:09:55,029 --> 00:09:56,552
That's why. Here, hold that.
195
00:09:56,596 --> 00:09:58,510
- This is why Ponies don't
dress themselves.
196
00:09:58,554 --> 00:10:00,687
- You're a piece of work.
- You're a piece of work.
197
00:10:00,730 --> 00:10:04,734
- Putting on
of the gear is symbolic.
198
00:10:04,778 --> 00:10:07,215
Let's say you work in
a business firm of some sort.
199
00:10:07,258 --> 00:10:09,478
Something that might help you
get into the head space
200
00:10:09,521 --> 00:10:11,567
is you're gonna put on
your suit and tie.
201
00:10:11,611 --> 00:10:12,960
- Um...
- Is it backwards?
202
00:10:13,003 --> 00:10:14,744
- Yes.
- [ laughs ]
203
00:10:14,788 --> 00:10:17,878
- Suspenders, vest, blazer,
dress shoes, you walk out.
204
00:10:17,921 --> 00:10:22,796
And because you look a certain
way, you feel a certain way.
205
00:10:25,320 --> 00:10:27,975
I think yours
is exactly the same.
206
00:10:28,018 --> 00:10:34,895
It helps to tap into this kind
of amplification of masculinity
207
00:10:34,938 --> 00:10:37,462
or this kind of carnal persona.
208
00:10:39,377 --> 00:10:43,381
And so that's like part
of the foreplay.
209
00:11:01,748 --> 00:11:05,534
- Putting on the gear...
210
00:11:05,577 --> 00:11:08,319
that starts to make me feel
like an animal.
211
00:11:08,363 --> 00:11:10,060
It's like becoming
something else.
212
00:11:12,454 --> 00:11:14,151
[ grunting ]
213
00:11:14,195 --> 00:11:17,111
Breathing is heavy
and you feel like an animal.
214
00:11:17,154 --> 00:11:19,026
[ grunting ]
215
00:11:19,069 --> 00:11:20,549
- Ready to go for a walk?
- [ grunts ]
216
00:11:20,592 --> 00:11:24,335
- Show me what you can do? Yeah?
217
00:11:24,379 --> 00:11:27,338
- That's very satisfying.
218
00:11:27,382 --> 00:11:30,559
And in the inside, it plays
my BDSM slave roles.
219
00:11:30,602 --> 00:11:34,650
- Follow me.
Left, right, left, right.
220
00:11:34,694 --> 00:11:40,482
Halt. Feeling good, pony?
- [ grunting ]
221
00:11:40,525 --> 00:11:43,703
- Aw, I think he likes that.
Forward, march!
222
00:11:47,794 --> 00:11:50,144
One of the things I like most
about subbing
223
00:11:50,187 --> 00:11:52,712
and especially Pony Play...
- Halt.
224
00:11:52,755 --> 00:11:54,931
- ...is not having
to make a decision.
225
00:11:54,975 --> 00:11:56,933
[ whip cracks ]
- Go.
226
00:11:56,977 --> 00:11:58,761
- When you're a dom,
227
00:11:58,805 --> 00:12:04,506
you are in control of the scene
at all times.
228
00:12:04,549 --> 00:12:06,334
- Whoa.
229
00:12:06,377 --> 00:12:08,597
- The bottom's getting all of
the pleasure and enjoyment
230
00:12:08,640 --> 00:12:11,643
most of the time.
231
00:12:11,687 --> 00:12:16,083
So subbing and being a Pony...
- Good boy.
232
00:12:16,126 --> 00:12:17,475
- ...is awesome.
233
00:12:17,519 --> 00:12:20,783
[ horse nickers ]
234
00:12:20,827 --> 00:12:27,355
Oh! Oh! [ inhales sharply ]
235
00:12:27,398 --> 00:12:29,705
- Breathe. Breathe.
236
00:12:29,749 --> 00:12:33,578
- I'm into impact play,
so I'm into flogging and whips.
237
00:12:33,622 --> 00:12:35,798
- Chest out.
238
00:12:35,842 --> 00:12:37,495
- [ mutters and laughs ]
239
00:12:37,539 --> 00:12:39,584
[ laughter ]
240
00:12:39,628 --> 00:12:42,109
- Chin up. Good Pony.
241
00:12:42,152 --> 00:12:46,243
Oh! [ laughs ]
242
00:12:46,287 --> 00:12:47,854
If you're warmed up gently...
243
00:12:47,897 --> 00:12:51,901
Oh! [ laughs ]
244
00:12:51,945 --> 00:12:53,076
It wakes you up.
245
00:12:53,120 --> 00:12:57,472
Ohh! [ laughs ]
246
00:12:57,515 --> 00:12:58,473
Oh. [ laughs ]
247
00:12:58,516 --> 00:12:59,822
- [ laughs ]
248
00:12:59,866 --> 00:13:02,607
- Whoo. Aah!
- I love my job.
249
00:13:02,651 --> 00:13:04,000
- And your endorphins
start to flow.
250
00:13:04,044 --> 00:13:05,175
The harder they hit...
251
00:13:05,219 --> 00:13:07,874
- Oh! Oh!
252
00:13:07,917 --> 00:13:10,485
- The more endorphins go out.
- [ laughs ]
253
00:13:10,528 --> 00:13:13,444
- Oh! Oh!
254
00:13:13,488 --> 00:13:16,621
Aah! [ groans ]
255
00:13:16,665 --> 00:13:19,494
- Very well done. Very well
done. What a show pony.
256
00:13:19,537 --> 00:13:26,414
- [ grunting ]
257
00:13:49,916 --> 00:13:52,744
- You look so beautiful
with those on.
258
00:13:52,788 --> 00:13:53,920
Head down.
259
00:14:09,674 --> 00:14:12,025
[ horse blustering ]
260
00:14:12,068 --> 00:14:13,548
Go forward, Pony.
261
00:14:15,942 --> 00:14:17,900
You have such a nice ass, Pony.
262
00:14:17,944 --> 00:14:20,120
I get to look at this all day.
263
00:14:22,383 --> 00:14:27,127
Slow. To your right.
264
00:14:27,170 --> 00:14:31,131
Forward. Halt.
265
00:14:31,174 --> 00:14:33,176
Shall we adjust the hood?
- Slip it in the back maybe?
266
00:14:33,220 --> 00:14:35,526
- Okay. Does the strap
need to move up?
267
00:14:35,570 --> 00:14:37,093
- Mnh-mnh.
- Nope.
268
00:14:37,137 --> 00:14:38,834
- Just this.
- Uh-huh.
269
00:14:38,878 --> 00:14:40,531
- Are we good?
- Uh-huh.
270
00:14:43,273 --> 00:14:44,666
- Go.
271
00:14:44,709 --> 00:14:48,235
- Chris is definitely
a workhorse.
272
00:14:48,278 --> 00:14:49,366
- There we go.
- [ grunts ]
273
00:14:49,410 --> 00:14:51,760
He is a big, strong stallion.
274
00:14:55,155 --> 00:14:59,202
And that's who he is and wants
to express in the inside.
275
00:14:59,246 --> 00:15:02,075
- [ grunts ]
276
00:15:02,118 --> 00:15:05,905
- And that's really beautiful
because you're not filtered.
277
00:15:05,948 --> 00:15:08,603
You are in your own space
in that point in time,
278
00:15:08,646 --> 00:15:10,866
which is just gorgeous.
279
00:15:17,307 --> 00:15:19,005
So did you have a good time?
280
00:15:19,048 --> 00:15:22,225
- Uh, yeah.
It was very interesting.
281
00:15:22,269 --> 00:15:25,968
Because I really sink
into the head space of it,
282
00:15:26,012 --> 00:15:28,928
especially that one part where
I kind of--my hood fell
283
00:15:28,971 --> 00:15:30,190
in the beginning
because it wasn't tight enough.
284
00:15:30,233 --> 00:15:31,713
- I saw that. [ laughs ]
285
00:15:31,756 --> 00:15:33,628
- So all I could see
was the ground.
286
00:15:33,671 --> 00:15:36,065
[ laughter ]
- I saw that.
287
00:15:36,109 --> 00:15:38,546
That's why I immediately went
over and pushed it back up.
288
00:15:38,589 --> 00:15:42,115
- Thank you. You were attuned
to those things,
289
00:15:42,158 --> 00:15:44,247
and you saw them and fixed it.
290
00:15:44,291 --> 00:15:46,075
That was kind of
comforting to me.
291
00:15:46,119 --> 00:15:49,122
- Aw. I might be the puppy
and I might be the submissive,
292
00:15:49,165 --> 00:15:50,514
but I'm always
taking care of him
293
00:15:50,558 --> 00:15:52,560
the same way
that he takes care of me.
294
00:15:52,603 --> 00:15:55,563
That's our dynamic. That's how
we are with each other.
295
00:15:55,606 --> 00:15:57,478
I had a good time, too.
296
00:15:57,521 --> 00:16:02,004
I thought it was very touching
seeing you connect with someone.
297
00:16:02,048 --> 00:16:04,006
It was really cute,
and Danny's a lot of fun.
298
00:16:04,050 --> 00:16:06,008
- Yeah.
299
00:16:06,052 --> 00:16:08,619
- And there were just little
bits and pieces where I thought
300
00:16:08,663 --> 00:16:09,881
it was really funny
to watch you.
301
00:16:09,925 --> 00:16:12,145
- [ laughs ] Okay.
302
00:16:12,188 --> 00:16:13,624
- Thank you for letting me
watch it.
303
00:16:13,668 --> 00:16:15,235
- Yeah.
304
00:16:17,063 --> 00:16:18,716
♪♪♪
305
00:16:18,760 --> 00:16:20,327
[ horn honks ]
306
00:16:20,370 --> 00:16:22,459
When it comes
to animal role play in general,
307
00:16:22,503 --> 00:16:24,418
there's a lot of misconceptions.
308
00:16:24,461 --> 00:16:27,421
People see the gear and they
see the harnesses and the latex
309
00:16:27,464 --> 00:16:29,553
and the leather and they just
think that people are...
310
00:16:29,597 --> 00:16:31,294
- Freaks.
311
00:16:31,338 --> 00:16:34,254
- Yeah, well, for lack
of a better term. [ laughs ]
312
00:16:34,297 --> 00:16:38,084
- It's consenting adults just
enjoying themselves.
313
00:16:39,520 --> 00:16:42,566
Good boy, good boy.
314
00:16:42,610 --> 00:16:44,481
- When I'm in, like,
Puppy Play head space...
315
00:16:44,525 --> 00:16:46,657
- You wanna play?
- [ barks ]
316
00:16:46,701 --> 00:16:49,051
And we're going to be getting
into a very personal,
317
00:16:49,095 --> 00:16:54,056
very intimate space that only
we're sharing with each other,
318
00:16:54,100 --> 00:16:57,973
I really enjoy being submissive
because I'm giving myself fully
319
00:16:58,017 --> 00:17:02,499
to someone that I trust, that I
know understands what I enjoy,
320
00:17:02,543 --> 00:17:04,066
but that is also
looking out for me
321
00:17:04,110 --> 00:17:06,068
and my best interests
at all times.
322
00:17:06,112 --> 00:17:11,465
- Kiss this side.
Kiss it. Good.
323
00:17:11,508 --> 00:17:15,730
[ moaning ]
324
00:17:15,773 --> 00:17:16,905
- You're
in this heightened state
325
00:17:16,948 --> 00:17:20,474
that's almost spiritual in a way
326
00:17:20,517 --> 00:17:24,391
that you're sharing
with someone.
327
00:17:24,434 --> 00:17:28,917
It's really beautiful.
- [ moans ]
328
00:17:28,960 --> 00:17:30,614
- We have
a very loving relationship.
329
00:17:30,658 --> 00:17:34,009
- Up! Come on.
- And it's evolved over time.
330
00:17:34,053 --> 00:17:35,532
- Good boy.
331
00:17:35,576 --> 00:17:37,578
- My collar--
it's almost like a wedding ring.
332
00:17:40,189 --> 00:17:42,322
- It's between us.
- Yeah.
333
00:17:42,365 --> 00:17:43,801
It's a relationship.
334
00:17:43,845 --> 00:17:45,673
- [ moans ]
335
00:17:45,716 --> 00:17:47,240
- Why do you have to call it
anything else?
336
00:17:47,283 --> 00:17:55,074
- [ moaning ]
337
00:17:55,117 --> 00:18:05,867
♪♪♪
338
00:18:05,910 --> 00:18:08,130
- Have I ever named
any of my body parts?
339
00:18:08,174 --> 00:18:11,090
Uh, you know, knee, ear, elbow,
340
00:18:11,133 --> 00:18:12,787
like I just use
the standard names.
341
00:18:12,830 --> 00:18:15,703
- Baby Baphomet. That'd be
a cute name for a vagina.
342
00:18:15,746 --> 00:18:17,574
[ baby voice ]
Little baby devil.
343
00:18:17,618 --> 00:18:19,141
[ laughs ]
344
00:18:19,185 --> 00:18:22,623
- I do call my vagina,
uh, "her."
345
00:18:22,666 --> 00:18:25,191
So in times
when I'm extremely horny,
346
00:18:25,234 --> 00:18:27,889
or I'm really interested
in finding a sex partner,
347
00:18:27,932 --> 00:18:29,978
I like to joke,
"Yeah, she's on the hunt.
348
00:18:30,021 --> 00:18:32,372
'Cause it's not really me.
It's her."
349
00:18:32,415 --> 00:18:34,156
- Yeah, there was one person
I was with.
350
00:18:34,200 --> 00:18:37,681
His was "the weapons
of ass destruction." [ laughs ]
351
00:18:37,725 --> 00:18:39,640
- These are my webs,
and this is Penny.
352
00:18:39,683 --> 00:18:41,685
Because my husband's penis
is Piggy,
353
00:18:41,729 --> 00:18:45,820
and Piggy is going to pig pen.
So this is Penny.
354
00:18:45,863 --> 00:18:47,517
[ laughs ] So stupid.
355
00:18:47,561 --> 00:18:49,519
- Just with
my high school girlfriend,
356
00:18:49,563 --> 00:18:53,741
we use to call my...
[ chuckles ] "the lighthouse."
357
00:18:53,784 --> 00:18:57,658
Uh-oh, the lighthouse has
awoken from his slumber.
358
00:18:57,701 --> 00:18:59,181
- I don't know if we have
names for body parts yet.
359
00:18:59,225 --> 00:19:01,966
- Mnh-mnh.
- So do we call him Derek Booty
360
00:19:02,010 --> 00:19:04,708
'cause he's got quite
a nice booty.
361
00:19:04,752 --> 00:19:07,015
- Well, these are my chi-chis.
That's not really a nickname.
362
00:19:07,058 --> 00:19:09,235
It's just fun to say,
like, "Say Chi-chi."
363
00:19:09,278 --> 00:19:11,280
- I mean, I guess sometimes
we call Matt "coarse cock."
364
00:19:11,324 --> 00:19:16,459
Just depends, you know?
- [ laughs ]
365
00:19:16,503 --> 00:19:19,984
That's actually true.
That's funny. [ laughs ]
366
00:19:20,028 --> 00:19:21,986
- I've had girls
who named their vagina.
367
00:19:22,030 --> 00:19:24,119
I thought it would be odd.
It's not.
368
00:19:24,163 --> 00:19:26,165
That means like, this--
"My vagina's named Mary."
369
00:19:26,208 --> 00:19:28,602
I'm like,
"Why? Why is it named that?"
370
00:19:28,645 --> 00:19:31,344
"That rhymes with hairy."
So now I'm fucking Hairy Mary.
371
00:19:31,387 --> 00:19:41,005
♪♪♪
372
00:19:41,049 --> 00:19:44,792
- Joshua Tree and the desert
are an amazing setting
373
00:19:44,835 --> 00:19:47,403
for couples to drop
into a deeper connection
374
00:19:47,447 --> 00:19:54,410
and bring that intimacy back
into the relationship.
375
00:19:54,454 --> 00:19:58,066
There's just something about
being in nature alone
376
00:19:58,109 --> 00:20:01,591
and being stripped
of a lot of the things
377
00:20:01,635 --> 00:20:04,638
that are normally around us.
378
00:20:04,681 --> 00:20:09,947
- It creates space, stillness.
The desert is transformational.
379
00:20:09,991 --> 00:20:14,082
There's magic here.
380
00:20:14,125 --> 00:20:17,520
It's hard to describe.
381
00:20:24,440 --> 00:20:27,269
- After seven years of being
with someone, we're in love,
382
00:20:27,313 --> 00:20:30,011
but at the same time, we are
struggling in the relationship.
383
00:20:30,054 --> 00:20:35,364
This weekend gives us a tool
maybe to fall in love again.
384
00:20:35,408 --> 00:20:40,282
- When I first met Michael,
the sex life was incredible.
385
00:20:40,326 --> 00:20:43,242
It's just like we jumped
into it pretty quickly.
386
00:20:43,285 --> 00:20:47,071
But then we got married,
and then we started a business.
387
00:20:47,115 --> 00:20:50,727
And I realized that we weren't
connecting physically
388
00:20:50,771 --> 00:20:53,426
or intimately as much as we were
in the beginning.
389
00:20:55,819 --> 00:20:59,562
Like, I'd be lying to say
if I didn't experience doubt.
390
00:20:59,606 --> 00:21:02,435
Are we a right fit?
391
00:21:02,478 --> 00:21:03,871
- That's fancy.
392
00:21:03,914 --> 00:21:07,004
[ gears shift ]
393
00:21:07,048 --> 00:21:09,050
- Hi.
- Hi.
394
00:21:09,093 --> 00:21:13,184
- Hi! Welcome. We're so glad
you guys are here.
395
00:21:13,228 --> 00:21:15,012
I'm Alexandra Roxo,
396
00:21:15,056 --> 00:21:17,667
and I'm a spiritual teacher
and transformational coach.
397
00:21:17,711 --> 00:21:21,889
And I am here this weekend
to lead a retreat for couples.
398
00:21:21,932 --> 00:21:25,066
- Oh!
- [ laughs ]
399
00:21:25,109 --> 00:21:29,200
My name is Joe LeMieux, and I'm
a meditation and yoga teacher.
400
00:21:29,244 --> 00:21:30,985
When we host a retreat
like this,
401
00:21:31,028 --> 00:21:32,769
what we find usually is that
the couples that show up
402
00:21:32,813 --> 00:21:36,120
really want to drop
into a deeper connection,
403
00:21:36,164 --> 00:21:38,166
more intimacy
in their relationship.
404
00:21:38,209 --> 00:21:40,168
- Take your shoes off.
- Okay.
405
00:21:40,211 --> 00:21:41,735
- And--and get cozy on the--
- Did you meet yet?
406
00:21:41,778 --> 00:21:44,128
Did everybody meet?
- No.
407
00:21:44,172 --> 00:21:45,347
- No.
[ laughter ]
408
00:21:45,391 --> 00:21:46,653
- I'm Jamie.
- Jamie?
409
00:21:46,696 --> 00:21:48,350
- I'm Alex.
- Alex.
410
00:21:48,394 --> 00:21:50,831
- I feel like the connection
between Jamie and I
411
00:21:50,874 --> 00:21:53,616
is very strong, loving,
and very deep.
412
00:21:53,660 --> 00:21:55,923
- Okay, cool.
Let's close our eyes
413
00:21:55,966 --> 00:21:57,794
and take a moment to arrive.
414
00:21:57,838 --> 00:22:00,362
- Coming on this retreat
seemed like a good opportunity
415
00:22:00,406 --> 00:22:02,146
to be closer to each other
416
00:22:02,190 --> 00:22:04,497
and explore new parts
of our relationship, I guess.
417
00:22:04,540 --> 00:22:07,413
- You're just starting to drop
into your breath.
418
00:22:07,456 --> 00:22:10,677
[ exhales deeply ]
419
00:22:10,720 --> 00:22:14,985
Just sending yourself
the message that I'm here,
420
00:22:15,029 --> 00:22:17,727
I'm present, I'm open.
421
00:22:17,771 --> 00:22:20,643
- [ all exhaling deeply ]
422
00:22:20,687 --> 00:22:23,124
- If you could leave
this weekend
423
00:22:23,167 --> 00:22:26,736
with a gift
to your relationship,
424
00:22:26,780 --> 00:22:28,390
what might that be?
425
00:22:28,434 --> 00:22:31,785
This weekend, we'll practice
different things,
426
00:22:31,828 --> 00:22:34,091
practicing love,
practicing connecting,
427
00:22:34,135 --> 00:22:38,835
practicing being vulnerable,
practicing being open.
428
00:22:38,879 --> 00:22:40,402
Because sometimes we forget.
429
00:22:40,446 --> 00:22:43,013
- I want to find out the sex is
430
00:22:43,057 --> 00:22:47,496
and how you can invite more
pleasure, more spontaneity,
431
00:22:47,540 --> 00:22:49,890
into that world
and find out how it's going.
432
00:22:49,933 --> 00:22:53,850
So tell me everything.
- Everything. [ laughs ]
433
00:22:53,894 --> 00:22:56,200
- All areas of the relationship
are related.
434
00:22:56,244 --> 00:22:57,724
So you can't really
compartmentalize,
435
00:22:57,767 --> 00:23:00,422
oh, the sex is bad,
but the love is great.
436
00:23:00,466 --> 00:23:02,859
'Cause it's just not.
It's all connected.
437
00:23:02,903 --> 00:23:05,079
If the sex is off,
it's an indicator
438
00:23:05,122 --> 00:23:08,038
that there's some block
to true connection.
439
00:23:08,082 --> 00:23:12,391
- A lot of it has been
my relationship with sex
440
00:23:12,434 --> 00:23:14,871
after marriage.
- Mm-hmm.
441
00:23:14,915 --> 00:23:16,830
- You know?
Like, it's so different.
442
00:23:16,873 --> 00:23:19,049
There is
definitely something in me that
443
00:23:19,093 --> 00:23:24,577
started to shut down where I was
not finding myself desiring him.
444
00:23:24,620 --> 00:23:26,274
There was an energy shift.
445
00:23:26,317 --> 00:23:30,104
- I feel like--
like we have regular sex.
446
00:23:30,147 --> 00:23:32,106
I want it more than she does,
447
00:23:32,149 --> 00:23:35,283
and I think it's because I have
not created a space
448
00:23:35,326 --> 00:23:37,241
where she can be fully relaxed.
449
00:23:37,285 --> 00:23:38,852
I would love to have that more.
450
00:23:38,895 --> 00:23:41,332
- Yeah. Well, allowing her
to open in a way...
451
00:23:41,376 --> 00:23:42,638
- And I have to open, yeah.
452
00:23:42,682 --> 00:23:45,859
- He is so attracted to me
453
00:23:45,902 --> 00:23:49,036
nonstop to the point
where I feel like
454
00:23:49,079 --> 00:23:51,821
I go into--like, that's when
I go into protector mode.
455
00:23:51,865 --> 00:23:53,040
- Yeah.
- Like, okay, I need just
456
00:23:53,083 --> 00:23:54,955
to be in my own personal space.
457
00:23:54,998 --> 00:23:57,000
- Desire is a complex thing
458
00:23:57,044 --> 00:24:00,482
because sometimes too much love,
too much cuddling,
459
00:24:00,526 --> 00:24:02,789
too much touching,
takes away desire.
460
00:24:02,832 --> 00:24:04,399
I feel like it's always like,
okay, now we have,
461
00:24:04,443 --> 00:24:07,315
you know, half an hour.
We're tired already.
462
00:24:07,358 --> 00:24:09,186
It just needs to happen because
it hasn't happened in three days
463
00:24:09,230 --> 00:24:11,711
because we are working from
6 a.m. till 10 p.m. every day.
464
00:24:11,754 --> 00:24:13,408
- Mm.
465
00:24:13,452 --> 00:24:15,366
The reason that we put together
these workshops
466
00:24:15,410 --> 00:24:18,500
in the first place is really
to draw together that intimacy.
467
00:24:18,544 --> 00:24:20,197
If you're building intimacy
468
00:24:20,241 --> 00:24:23,026
and you're doing, like, really
deep intimacy exercises,
469
00:24:23,070 --> 00:24:26,726
your sex without a doubt
is going to get better.
470
00:24:26,769 --> 00:24:30,120
- We're gonna start the evening
with a little meditation.
471
00:24:30,164 --> 00:24:32,253
And then we're gonna share
472
00:24:32,296 --> 00:24:34,211
our intentions
for the weekend together
473
00:24:34,255 --> 00:24:35,996
and really talk
about why you came.
474
00:24:36,039 --> 00:24:37,519
You're here
for the relationship.
475
00:24:37,563 --> 00:24:40,130
This weekend is about
having better sex.
476
00:24:40,174 --> 00:24:43,482
So when you work on the space of
connection and communication,
477
00:24:43,525 --> 00:24:46,354
you're opening up the channel
for better sex.
478
00:24:46,397 --> 00:24:49,966
- We're running a business,
so we're always on it.
479
00:24:50,010 --> 00:24:51,707
And I really want to--
for myself,
480
00:24:51,751 --> 00:24:56,320
I want to have this space
to allow love to arise.
481
00:24:56,364 --> 00:24:58,888
I feel like I become
needy easily.
482
00:24:58,932 --> 00:25:02,109
I love, like, bodily attention
and--and hugging.
483
00:25:02,152 --> 00:25:05,547
I feel like she doesn't need it
so much than I do.
484
00:25:05,591 --> 00:25:10,247
And just asking what I want
can push her further away.
485
00:25:10,291 --> 00:25:12,336
- I come from
this massive Mexican family,
486
00:25:12,380 --> 00:25:15,688
and, like,
everyone's so judgmental.
487
00:25:15,731 --> 00:25:19,518
And, like, I realize how much
of that I've taken on
488
00:25:19,561 --> 00:25:21,476
and so because I find myself,
489
00:25:21,520 --> 00:25:25,349
like, being in,
like, judgment mode.
490
00:25:25,393 --> 00:25:29,615
- I feel like I'm--I'm judged
from you, and you don't say it.
491
00:25:29,658 --> 00:25:31,442
- It's probably true.
492
00:25:31,486 --> 00:25:33,096
That's not what I want.
Like, I don't want the person
493
00:25:33,140 --> 00:25:35,882
who I love most
to feel that way.
494
00:25:35,925 --> 00:25:38,624
And it's not necessarily
something I'm proud of.
495
00:25:38,667 --> 00:25:40,843
There was definitely a time
this week
496
00:25:40,887 --> 00:25:44,978
where I was feeling the--
like, a lot of anger.
497
00:25:45,021 --> 00:25:47,850
And feeling like, okay, I gotta,
like, clean this shit up...
498
00:25:47,894 --> 00:25:49,286
- Mm-hmm.
499
00:25:49,330 --> 00:25:51,767
- Because there's no room
for that here.
500
00:25:51,811 --> 00:25:57,033
- Okay.
- Hmm.
501
00:25:57,077 --> 00:25:59,688
- So in a second, we're gonna
switch into some practice
502
00:25:59,732 --> 00:26:02,561
before we close the evening.
503
00:26:02,604 --> 00:26:04,780
I can see it in the way
they look at each other
504
00:26:04,824 --> 00:26:06,521
and the way that they interact
505
00:26:06,565 --> 00:26:10,003
that the intimacy
has been sort of compromised.
506
00:26:10,046 --> 00:26:12,396
They know that if they come here
and that they spend this time,
507
00:26:12,440 --> 00:26:15,051
that they are gonna have go
into the scary territory
508
00:26:15,095 --> 00:26:17,924
of dealing with some of the shit
that they don't want to.
509
00:26:17,967 --> 00:26:20,535
But it seems like they're
super stoked to do that.
510
00:26:20,579 --> 00:26:23,756
Close your eyes.
I just want to draw a connection
511
00:26:23,799 --> 00:26:26,541
to the heartbeat of the partner
who's laying down.
512
00:26:26,585 --> 00:26:28,369
The reason that you put your
hand on your partner's heart
513
00:26:28,412 --> 00:26:30,937
is to really connect you
to your partner.
514
00:26:30,980 --> 00:26:34,418
For the receiver, it is a big
challenge to allow yourself
515
00:26:34,462 --> 00:26:36,638
to just relax
and receive that care
516
00:26:36,682 --> 00:26:39,772
and allowing your heart
to drive the communication.
517
00:26:39,815 --> 00:26:41,948
You want to invite the partner
who's laying down
518
00:26:41,991 --> 00:26:43,689
to just receive.
519
00:26:46,561 --> 00:26:49,825
- His hand felt so heavy.
520
00:26:49,869 --> 00:26:51,610
This is the story
of our relationship.
521
00:26:51,653 --> 00:26:54,787
His energy feels so heavy
for me sometimes.
522
00:26:54,830 --> 00:26:57,137
This is supposed
to be super simple,
523
00:26:57,180 --> 00:27:02,011
and yet I'm feeling disconnected
from him.
524
00:27:05,580 --> 00:27:08,322
Is this gonna work for us?
525
00:27:08,365 --> 00:27:12,718
Are we going to be able to take
everything in and apply it
526
00:27:12,761 --> 00:27:17,026
and get what we want out of it?
I don't know.
527
00:27:17,070 --> 00:27:20,247
Just allowing your hand,
your touch,
528
00:27:20,290 --> 00:27:23,816
to provide
a gentle sense of safety.
529
00:27:23,859 --> 00:27:25,687
- When Marissa put her hands
on my heart,
530
00:27:25,731 --> 00:27:30,953
I felt that she tried to hold
back to put her full weight
531
00:27:30,997 --> 00:27:33,434
with her arms and hands
on my heart.
532
00:27:33,477 --> 00:27:40,659
I wanted to let go and, like,
put her hands fully on my heart.
533
00:27:40,702 --> 00:27:42,878
I feel really bad and sad
inside, actually.
534
00:27:42,922 --> 00:27:47,666
- That is the completion
of our first session together.
535
00:27:47,709 --> 00:27:49,624
It felt more like
a disconnection
536
00:27:49,668 --> 00:27:52,453
than a connection, actually,
at this moment.
537
00:27:52,496 --> 00:27:58,502
♪♪♪
538
00:27:58,546 --> 00:28:00,461
- Good morning.
- Good morning.
539
00:28:00,504 --> 00:28:01,767
- Hello!
540
00:28:01,810 --> 00:28:03,333
- These are your spots
541
00:28:03,377 --> 00:28:04,683
'cause Joe's gonna take
your beautiful,
542
00:28:04,726 --> 00:28:06,989
amazing partners outside.
543
00:28:07,033 --> 00:28:09,470
- See you later.
- Bye.
544
00:28:09,513 --> 00:28:11,211
- Thanks. You, too.
545
00:28:11,254 --> 00:28:14,257
- It was clear that last night
Marissa and Michael
546
00:28:14,301 --> 00:28:15,694
had some trouble even in that
547
00:28:15,737 --> 00:28:18,305
really simple connecting
exercise.
548
00:28:18,348 --> 00:28:20,133
- [ exhales deeply ]
549
00:28:20,176 --> 00:28:23,049
- She's feeling kind of
smothered even by his presence.
550
00:28:23,092 --> 00:28:25,399
So this morning, we're going to
split the couples up
551
00:28:25,442 --> 00:28:27,009
with the men and the women.
552
00:28:27,053 --> 00:28:29,316
I'm going to try to get
some vulnerability
553
00:28:29,359 --> 00:28:30,752
in a space
without the partners present.
554
00:28:30,796 --> 00:28:32,058
We're gonna start our time
this morning
555
00:28:32,101 --> 00:28:34,538
in a safe space, just us.
556
00:28:34,582 --> 00:28:36,497
And I want to lead you guys
to practice
557
00:28:36,540 --> 00:28:39,543
feeling the spectrum
of your emotions.
558
00:28:39,587 --> 00:28:41,720
And the way we're gonna
do that is using breath.
559
00:28:41,763 --> 00:28:43,286
This is basic breath work.
560
00:28:43,330 --> 00:28:45,462
For the women,
it's gonna be important
561
00:28:45,506 --> 00:28:47,551
in order to feel their feelings
562
00:28:47,595 --> 00:28:50,511
and feel connection that it's in
the body and not in the mind.
563
00:28:50,554 --> 00:28:53,427
The breath slows down the
nervous system which opens us.
564
00:28:53,470 --> 00:28:56,560
And in that opening,
we find love.
565
00:28:56,604 --> 00:29:00,216
So breathe into my hand here.
[ inhales deeply ]
566
00:29:00,260 --> 00:29:02,871
And big breath and then...
[ exhales deeply ]
567
00:29:02,915 --> 00:29:05,526
And, Lenise, I want you
to take your breath
568
00:29:05,569 --> 00:29:06,832
even bigger over there.
569
00:29:06,875 --> 00:29:09,748
- [ exhaling deeply ]
570
00:29:09,791 --> 00:29:13,055
- Because a part of her feels
unexpressed,
571
00:29:13,099 --> 00:29:17,059
what I want to do is create
a space where she can open.
572
00:29:17,103 --> 00:29:19,409
- [ exhales deeply ]
573
00:29:19,453 --> 00:29:21,803
- I feel like she's ready to let
it out in a way
574
00:29:21,847 --> 00:29:25,459
that feels safe to her,
that it isn't under pressure.
575
00:29:25,502 --> 00:29:28,941
[ exhales deeply ]
576
00:29:28,984 --> 00:29:33,032
- Our partners are doing work
on themselves, deep work.
577
00:29:33,075 --> 00:29:35,121
So we need to be able
to match that.
578
00:29:35,164 --> 00:29:36,818
What I'm hoping to do
with Michael
579
00:29:36,862 --> 00:29:39,386
is get him really connected
and deep into his body
580
00:29:39,429 --> 00:29:41,692
and what his purpose for being
in the relationship is.
581
00:29:41,736 --> 00:29:42,998
Here's what I want you to do.
582
00:29:43,042 --> 00:29:45,348
I want you to rub your hands
together
583
00:29:45,392 --> 00:29:48,134
and just take
a nice deep breath, connect.
584
00:29:48,177 --> 00:29:49,962
I really want to wake him up.
585
00:29:50,005 --> 00:29:50,963
Good.
586
00:29:51,006 --> 00:29:52,529
And I think that for him,
587
00:29:52,573 --> 00:29:54,662
it involves doing more work
on himself.
588
00:29:54,705 --> 00:29:57,012
Move closer so that you're
coming knee to knee.
589
00:29:57,056 --> 00:29:59,275
Put your hands up
in the air, thumbs up. Good.
590
00:29:59,319 --> 00:30:02,670
Michael believes that
by being so loving to her
591
00:30:02,713 --> 00:30:06,021
that that is actually serving
the relationship, and it's not.
592
00:30:06,065 --> 00:30:09,720
It's too much for her.
He needs to, like, back off.
593
00:30:09,764 --> 00:30:12,985
Good, good. Keep going.
Fight through the challenge.
594
00:30:13,028 --> 00:30:15,509
Match breath. Go, go, go, go.
595
00:30:15,552 --> 00:30:17,946
- [ exhaling deeply ]
- I'm ready to add
596
00:30:17,990 --> 00:30:19,295
some more sound on your exhale.
597
00:30:19,339 --> 00:30:21,994
- This breathing--
it's challenging.
598
00:30:22,037 --> 00:30:24,257
You know, it really is like
doing crunches,
599
00:30:24,300 --> 00:30:25,911
but from the inside.
600
00:30:25,954 --> 00:30:29,218
- Give yourself the opportunity
to try something.
601
00:30:29,262 --> 00:30:32,831
[ exhales deeply ]
602
00:30:32,874 --> 00:30:34,702
- [ groans and laughs ]
603
00:30:34,745 --> 00:30:36,312
- A lot of times for women,
604
00:30:36,356 --> 00:30:39,968
all the past hurts start
to rise, and tears come.
605
00:30:40,012 --> 00:30:46,932
- [ exhaling deeply ]
606
00:30:46,975 --> 00:30:49,717
Once I got to that point,
607
00:30:49,760 --> 00:30:56,071
it, like, took me into an even
deeper layer of emotions
608
00:30:56,115 --> 00:30:59,466
and just, like, going into that
state of vulnerability
609
00:30:59,509 --> 00:31:03,731
and, like, allowing myself to--
to cry.
610
00:31:03,774 --> 00:31:10,346
It's something that I always
would put the brakes on.
611
00:31:10,390 --> 00:31:13,175
- Open your eyes.
Go right eye to right eye
612
00:31:13,219 --> 00:31:14,350
and begin breath power again.
613
00:31:14,394 --> 00:31:16,048
- [ panting ]
614
00:31:16,091 --> 00:31:20,400
- Grab. Grab. Grab.
Yeah, good. Hold your partner.
615
00:31:20,443 --> 00:31:22,706
- I like to please everyone.
616
00:31:22,750 --> 00:31:25,231
I want to make sure everyone
is happy all the time.
617
00:31:25,274 --> 00:31:26,754
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
618
00:31:26,797 --> 00:31:28,364
I need to let it go.
619
00:31:28,408 --> 00:31:34,849
♪♪♪
620
00:31:34,893 --> 00:31:36,895
- Wow, you guys look amazing.
621
00:31:36,938 --> 00:31:41,812
Today's exercises
were all to soften and open
622
00:31:41,856 --> 00:31:44,511
so that tonight
you can have a date night
623
00:31:44,554 --> 00:31:47,122
and a night of connecting,
624
00:31:47,166 --> 00:31:49,037
but from that place
that you found earlier.
625
00:31:49,081 --> 00:31:52,388
The evening will be a journey
through the senses.
626
00:31:52,432 --> 00:31:56,566
There are five different
stations set up in the house
627
00:31:56,610 --> 00:31:59,569
for you to experience a ritual
628
00:31:59,613 --> 00:32:03,182
of connecting with the sense
and each other.
629
00:32:03,225 --> 00:32:06,446
What we've set up are these
kind of like micro dates,
630
00:32:06,489 --> 00:32:08,535
little experiences.
631
00:32:08,578 --> 00:32:11,973
And we'll do little experiences
in different rooms of the house
632
00:32:12,017 --> 00:32:16,543
for them to visit as if they're
on an adventure date.
633
00:32:16,586 --> 00:32:21,896
I love that every single day
we are creating together.
634
00:32:21,940 --> 00:32:24,420
From the moment we wake up
in the morning
635
00:32:24,464 --> 00:32:28,076
till the moment we go to sleep,
we're creating a space for us.
636
00:32:31,906 --> 00:32:35,127
- [ chuckling ]
637
00:32:38,130 --> 00:32:41,002
I'm trying to break through
the shell of Marissa.
638
00:32:41,046 --> 00:32:46,007
Vulnerability is necessary
to feel each other
639
00:32:46,051 --> 00:32:51,578
to tap into our hearts
and connect on a deeper level.
640
00:32:51,621 --> 00:32:57,540
So I'm hoping that Marissa
is able to find
641
00:32:57,584 --> 00:33:03,459
even more vulnerability in her
being so we are connecting.
642
00:33:09,161 --> 00:33:11,424
- I realize in our relationship,
643
00:33:11,467 --> 00:33:16,255
he's the one constantly
after me.
644
00:33:16,298 --> 00:33:18,561
And it was nice to be
in a space
645
00:33:18,605 --> 00:33:23,653
where I'm giving myself to him
without him chasing me.
646
00:33:26,091 --> 00:33:27,918
- Mm. Thank you.
647
00:33:27,962 --> 00:33:30,486
- You're welcome. It's funny
because as massage therapists,
648
00:33:30,530 --> 00:33:35,317
we're constantly connecting
physically to others.
649
00:33:35,361 --> 00:33:37,406
It's like when we do it
for work,
650
00:33:37,450 --> 00:33:40,279
it's not something
we necessarily are like...
651
00:33:40,322 --> 00:33:43,151
[ laughs ] really wanting
to do it for each other.
652
00:33:43,195 --> 00:33:47,242
But I love how open-hearted
you are
653
00:33:47,286 --> 00:33:49,070
and how much you strive
to just be
654
00:33:49,114 --> 00:33:51,768
the best man
you can possibly be.
655
00:33:51,812 --> 00:33:54,771
I think there are definitely
moments where it was fun,
656
00:33:54,815 --> 00:33:59,080
but probably not feeling, like,
super connected.
657
00:33:59,124 --> 00:34:02,214
Because there is some kind of,
like, unfinished business
658
00:34:02,257 --> 00:34:05,304
that hasn't necessarily
been addressed quite yet.
659
00:34:05,347 --> 00:34:15,531
♪♪♪
660
00:34:15,575 --> 00:34:20,580
- Well, we're gonna end with one
more short practice together.
661
00:34:20,623 --> 00:34:23,148
We facilitate a process
with breath,
662
00:34:23,191 --> 00:34:26,368
with the gazing of the eyes,
and we see what comes up.
663
00:34:26,412 --> 00:34:31,591
Gazing left eye to left eye and
breath from a deep belly breath.
664
00:34:31,634 --> 00:34:34,246
We really want to pierce
one more veil.
665
00:34:34,289 --> 00:34:37,597
By staring your partner
in the eyes and just breathing,
666
00:34:37,640 --> 00:34:40,991
taking away words, that's where
the intimacy happens
667
00:34:41,035 --> 00:34:42,602
'cause that's an opening.
668
00:34:42,645 --> 00:34:45,996
So giving them that container
where we're there
669
00:34:46,040 --> 00:34:48,825
and we're like, "You got this,"
something will happen.
670
00:34:48,869 --> 00:34:52,046
- Jamie and Michael, just start
to bring and invite in
671
00:34:52,090 --> 00:34:54,266
what we talked about
a little bit this morning
672
00:34:54,309 --> 00:34:57,399
and feel what she's giving
to you right now.
673
00:34:57,443 --> 00:35:02,317
- For me, it's super important
to being in a masculine space
674
00:35:02,361 --> 00:35:05,581
so she can feel me and just,
like, allow herself
675
00:35:05,625 --> 00:35:08,497
to just be vulnerable and open.
676
00:35:08,541 --> 00:35:11,457
- Loosen up. You can--
you can allow that.
677
00:35:11,500 --> 00:35:13,807
- Then I see him moving
and then I get--
678
00:35:13,850 --> 00:35:15,243
- You don't like it.
Okay, so give him a reaction,
679
00:35:15,287 --> 00:35:17,985
a nonverbal reaction here.
- [ growls ]
680
00:35:18,028 --> 00:35:19,726
- So that's how it feels, right?
681
00:35:19,769 --> 00:35:22,076
So you lost trust when
he did that. Is that correct?
682
00:35:22,120 --> 00:35:23,643
- Mm-hmm.
- Okay.
683
00:35:23,686 --> 00:35:25,384
Is he bringing you enough
that you're willing
684
00:35:25,427 --> 00:35:27,255
to take the risk
and go there again?
685
00:35:27,299 --> 00:35:28,822
- Mm-hmm.
686
00:35:28,865 --> 00:35:30,476
- Yeah? Okay, good.
So take a deep breath.
687
00:35:30,519 --> 00:35:34,262
- [ inhales and exhales deeply ]
688
00:35:34,306 --> 00:35:37,744
- And stop smiling, Michael.
689
00:35:37,787 --> 00:35:39,528
Hold the space, drop the jaw.
690
00:35:39,572 --> 00:35:42,183
- You want to stay
authentic always.
691
00:35:42,227 --> 00:35:44,185
So if it's more frustration,
let it out.
692
00:35:44,229 --> 00:35:48,407
- Alexandra was guiding me
to these spaces, allowing myself
693
00:35:48,450 --> 00:35:52,367
to be completely self-expressive
694
00:35:52,411 --> 00:35:54,500
and not having to necessarily
do so in words.
695
00:35:54,543 --> 00:35:56,110
[ yells ]
696
00:35:56,154 --> 00:35:59,853
- Good, good. Breathe.
Allow that. That's fine.
697
00:35:59,896 --> 00:36:03,030
Allowing myself to just
sound out the feeling
698
00:36:03,073 --> 00:36:04,597
of what was coming up,
699
00:36:04,640 --> 00:36:08,296
and I didn't realize
how annoyed I would get
700
00:36:08,340 --> 00:36:12,822
at some of
the simplest, smallest things.
701
00:36:12,866 --> 00:36:16,609
Aah! [ growls ]
702
00:36:16,652 --> 00:36:19,916
Being vulnerable is giving
myself total permission
703
00:36:19,960 --> 00:36:21,614
to feel what I'm feeling.
704
00:36:21,657 --> 00:36:24,791
A lot of times,
I don't let myself go there.
705
00:36:24,834 --> 00:36:27,185
It's a scary place.
706
00:36:27,228 --> 00:36:30,231
- Don't judge yourself.
- [ groans ]
707
00:36:30,275 --> 00:36:36,237
- Yes, keep--keep going.
Let it out.
708
00:36:36,281 --> 00:36:38,935
- [ crying ]
709
00:36:38,979 --> 00:36:40,285
- Let it out. Up and out.
You're doing good.
710
00:36:40,328 --> 00:36:42,722
You're doing so good.
Sound, yes.
711
00:36:42,765 --> 00:36:46,029
- [ sighs and gasps ]
712
00:36:46,073 --> 00:36:48,293
Ugh!
713
00:36:48,336 --> 00:36:49,555
[ exhales deeply ]
714
00:36:49,598 --> 00:36:51,687
[ screams ]
715
00:36:51,731 --> 00:36:54,081
- Good. Breathe in
and breath deep.
716
00:36:54,124 --> 00:36:56,605
- [ inhales deeply ]
717
00:36:56,649 --> 00:36:57,954
- Let it out.
- [ sobs ]
718
00:36:57,998 --> 00:37:00,740
- Yes. Don't stop.
I know it's hard.
719
00:37:00,783 --> 00:37:02,524
There's people here.
You're doing so good.
720
00:37:02,568 --> 00:37:05,266
- [ sighs ]
721
00:37:05,310 --> 00:37:07,442
[ screams ]
722
00:37:07,486 --> 00:37:10,358
[ groans ]
723
00:37:10,402 --> 00:37:12,273
- I want you to give him one
piece of feedback.
724
00:37:12,317 --> 00:37:14,057
"I would need you to..."
725
00:37:14,101 --> 00:37:18,410
I would need for you to keep
this solid foundation
726
00:37:18,453 --> 00:37:25,591
for me to do this and feel safe
to express myself fully.
727
00:37:25,634 --> 00:37:31,423
I feel like I have to put
a cap on it or to...
728
00:37:31,466 --> 00:37:35,253
be peaceful
all the fucking time,
729
00:37:35,296 --> 00:37:38,517
to be okay to...
730
00:37:39,953 --> 00:37:42,260
...fucking lose it sometimes.
731
00:37:44,871 --> 00:37:47,700
- I felt her. I felt her heart
732
00:37:47,743 --> 00:37:50,137
in that moment
when she was sharing.
733
00:37:50,180 --> 00:37:55,142
I felt like this deep sense
of connection to her.
734
00:37:55,185 --> 00:38:00,974
- Just receive it and not
process me and try to fix it
735
00:38:01,017 --> 00:38:03,846
and make me feel wrong.
736
00:38:03,890 --> 00:38:05,326
- So how might he do that?
737
00:38:05,370 --> 00:38:10,113
- Soften the gaze,
soften the jaws,
738
00:38:10,157 --> 00:38:12,812
soften the heart.
739
00:38:12,855 --> 00:38:17,077
That felt really nice to be
able to make that connection
740
00:38:17,120 --> 00:38:19,297
to what Alexandra
was talking about this morning.
741
00:38:19,340 --> 00:38:21,560
It was just pure emotion.
742
00:38:21,603 --> 00:38:27,261
Wow, I really love this man
and how he's showing up for me
743
00:38:27,305 --> 00:38:31,396
and how I'm feeling
so supported and loved by him.
744
00:38:31,439 --> 00:38:34,921
I feel it's like less pressure
on my heart.
745
00:38:34,964 --> 00:38:36,531
- Mm.
746
00:38:36,575 --> 00:38:38,751
- I feel like I'm--
I'm starting to reconnect.
747
00:38:38,794 --> 00:38:42,189
I feel like we're moving
as a unit forward.
748
00:38:42,232 --> 00:38:45,279
It just feels right.
749
00:38:45,323 --> 00:38:47,934
Like, I feel so much more closer
to her
750
00:38:47,977 --> 00:38:51,372
than before we came
into this work.
751
00:38:51,416 --> 00:38:54,288
- [ laughs ]
752
00:38:54,332 --> 00:38:58,640
Like, it's way more
of a massive shift
753
00:38:58,684 --> 00:39:03,515
than I thought I was gonna get.
754
00:39:03,558 --> 00:39:07,083
- Thank you for honoring us
with your time.
755
00:39:12,828 --> 00:39:20,706
♪♪♪
756
00:39:20,749 --> 00:39:23,273
- I've never watched clown porn.
757
00:39:23,317 --> 00:39:28,366
I've watched little people porn
and a lot of double penetration.
758
00:39:28,409 --> 00:39:30,672
- I actually have
a clown fetish.
759
00:39:30,716 --> 00:39:33,371
I love watching clown porn.
760
00:39:33,414 --> 00:39:35,329
I love jerking off
to clown porn,
761
00:39:35,373 --> 00:39:37,418
and I've actually had
clown sex a few times,
762
00:39:37,462 --> 00:39:40,508
and I have to say
it was extremely exciting.
763
00:39:40,552 --> 00:39:42,641
- Clowns are kind of
terrifying to me. [ laughs ]
764
00:39:42,684 --> 00:39:45,731
They're just very creepy,
I would say.
765
00:39:45,774 --> 00:39:47,950
- I'm not a big fan
of clowns in general.
766
00:39:47,994 --> 00:39:51,650
I watched "It" when I was
little, like the original "It."
767
00:39:51,693 --> 00:39:53,434
It definitely scared me a lot.
768
00:39:53,478 --> 00:39:55,436
- I dated a clown.
The first date, I saw her naked
769
00:39:55,480 --> 00:39:58,134
and I was a little disappointed
770
00:39:58,178 --> 00:40:00,441
because her feet
were normal size,
771
00:40:00,485 --> 00:40:03,357
but other than that,
beautiful, beautiful woman.
772
00:40:03,401 --> 00:40:06,186
- This one time
with an ex-boyfriend,
773
00:40:06,229 --> 00:40:10,582
he wore a clown mask,
and we were having sex.
774
00:40:10,625 --> 00:40:14,716
And we're about to climax and I
thought I should be respectful.
775
00:40:14,760 --> 00:40:16,631
I should look at him
in his human face
776
00:40:16,675 --> 00:40:18,677
before I actually climaxed,
and I was like,
777
00:40:18,720 --> 00:40:20,679
"Take off the mask."
He took off the mask.
778
00:40:20,722 --> 00:40:22,811
I totally lost my erection.
779
00:40:22,855 --> 00:40:34,257
♪♪♪
780
00:40:34,301 --> 00:40:40,133
- You want something exciting?
781
00:40:40,176 --> 00:40:45,138
Staring into
my pretty little face?
782
00:40:45,181 --> 00:40:49,882
Finding yourself...aroused?
783
00:40:49,925 --> 00:40:56,410
By awe of quality, it's like
a big good or your pink nose.
784
00:40:56,454 --> 00:41:03,504
Big shiny, pink lips. Oh, yeah.
785
00:41:03,548 --> 00:41:07,029
Clown features turn you on.
786
00:41:07,073 --> 00:41:13,645
Don't you just love...clowns?
787
00:41:13,688 --> 00:41:20,303
♪♪♪
788
00:41:20,347 --> 00:41:24,003
[ birds calling ]
789
00:41:32,228 --> 00:41:35,754
I'm Kitzi.
I'm a mother of two.
790
00:41:35,797 --> 00:41:36,755
[ laughs ]
791
00:41:36,798 --> 00:41:38,060
I live in sunny Florida.
792
00:41:38,104 --> 00:41:39,671
You can see me on the beach.
793
00:41:39,714 --> 00:41:41,673
You can see me tanning
at the pool,
794
00:41:41,716 --> 00:41:43,370
out paddleboarding,
795
00:41:43,413 --> 00:41:47,592
a very normal life compared
to what you picture
796
00:41:47,635 --> 00:41:50,072
when you hear
clown dominatrix, right?
797
00:41:50,116 --> 00:41:54,207
I've been a clown dominatrix
for seven years.
798
00:41:54,250 --> 00:41:59,647
Before I started as Kitzi, I
bounced around from job to job.
799
00:41:59,691 --> 00:42:03,129
I was a bartender, I was
a waitress, I was a stripper.
800
00:42:03,172 --> 00:42:06,698
I very much enjoyed stripping.
I loved the sexual aspect of it.
801
00:42:06,741 --> 00:42:11,877
I loved putting on a show, but
something wasn't quite there.
802
00:42:11,920 --> 00:42:14,836
And the first time
I filmed in clown makeup,
803
00:42:14,880 --> 00:42:17,056
I realized this is it.
804
00:42:17,099 --> 00:42:20,407
Oh, it scratched that itch.
805
00:42:20,450 --> 00:42:23,453
[ singsongy ] I have something
you really want,
806
00:42:23,497 --> 00:42:26,544
you really want.
807
00:42:26,587 --> 00:42:29,242
Clown porn is really hard
to find online.
808
00:42:29,285 --> 00:42:30,939
Uh-huh.
809
00:42:30,983 --> 00:42:35,553
I saw no domination,
no humiliation, no power play.
810
00:42:35,596 --> 00:42:38,120
And so it was very important
to me to create the porn
811
00:42:38,164 --> 00:42:40,166
that I wanted to see.
812
00:42:40,209 --> 00:42:47,173
♪♪♪
813
00:42:47,216 --> 00:42:49,915
I think I was drawn
to clown domination more so
814
00:42:49,958 --> 00:42:54,267
than a more vanilla domination
because I was raised by a clown.
815
00:42:54,310 --> 00:42:58,314
My dad's been a clown
my whole life,
816
00:42:58,358 --> 00:43:00,099
and that was a huge influence.
817
00:43:00,142 --> 00:43:03,624
And I really put that
into my mind that I also want
818
00:43:03,668 --> 00:43:05,800
to follow
in his big, clowny footsteps.
819
00:43:05,844 --> 00:43:07,628
I also wanted to be a clown.
820
00:43:07,672 --> 00:43:10,675
I still go to his house,
and I'll see a prop I want,
821
00:43:10,718 --> 00:43:12,415
and I beg for it.
822
00:43:12,459 --> 00:43:15,288
Like the carousel pony
that appears in my videos a lot,
823
00:43:15,331 --> 00:43:16,811
my dad made that.
824
00:43:16,855 --> 00:43:19,814
The clown faces that appear,
my dad made that
825
00:43:19,858 --> 00:43:22,774
because he's still
a big influence on my life.
826
00:43:22,817 --> 00:43:26,168
I so admire him
and his character.
827
00:43:26,212 --> 00:43:29,519
And it makes me feel
really good knowing
828
00:43:29,563 --> 00:43:32,044
that there's
no time limit on clowning.
829
00:43:32,087 --> 00:43:34,089
I can be a clown well
into my 60s as well.
830
00:43:34,133 --> 00:43:37,527
We're gonna get it
with the gumdrop glitter.
831
00:43:37,571 --> 00:43:41,793
Ahh! Right now I'm looking
for a new clown nose.
832
00:43:41,836 --> 00:43:45,971
I need to replace
my clown nose once a year.
833
00:43:46,014 --> 00:43:49,365
It just gets worn out,
cracked, full of glue.
834
00:43:49,409 --> 00:43:53,108
You can pick it to sort of
extend the life of your nose.
835
00:43:53,152 --> 00:43:59,114
But I think we're going to go
with a slightly different shape.
836
00:43:59,158 --> 00:44:00,725
I'm thinking something
a little more upturned
837
00:44:00,768 --> 00:44:03,989
and snobby
like a clown princess.
838
00:44:04,032 --> 00:44:07,253
It's so cute.
That's the next one.
839
00:44:07,296 --> 00:44:08,820
Oh, look how snooty.
840
00:44:08,863 --> 00:44:11,910
Maybe I could even get a new wig
to wear with it.
841
00:44:11,953 --> 00:44:16,610
Because I have been a ginger
clown for quite some time.
842
00:44:16,654 --> 00:44:18,743
Maybe it would be fun
to switch it up
843
00:44:18,786 --> 00:44:22,660
to a pale pink glittery nose
and some pale pink hair
844
00:44:22,703 --> 00:44:25,793
and just be a little
cotton candy princess
845
00:44:25,837 --> 00:44:28,013
for a while.
846
00:44:30,668 --> 00:44:32,931
When people come
to Kitzi's Online Circus,
847
00:44:32,974 --> 00:44:35,368
when they see and notice
the little details
848
00:44:35,411 --> 00:44:38,284
like rhinestones on my face,
the perfect wig,
849
00:44:38,327 --> 00:44:40,547
the perfect nose,
850
00:44:40,590 --> 00:44:45,247
it helps them sort of meld
into my little world with me,
851
00:44:45,291 --> 00:44:47,206
because I'm already
in character.
852
00:44:47,249 --> 00:44:50,905
I need to bring them
into the world with me
853
00:44:50,949 --> 00:44:54,213
where, yes, clown dominatrixes
do exist
854
00:44:54,256 --> 00:44:58,391
and they do strive
to overrule human men.
855
00:44:58,434 --> 00:45:00,175
That's the whole goal, right?
856
00:45:00,219 --> 00:45:02,743
Just getting them to be
little slaves and bitches,
857
00:45:02,787 --> 00:45:05,050
let them feel like
they're here with me,
858
00:45:05,093 --> 00:45:07,661
and those little details
are what makes it.
859
00:45:07,705 --> 00:45:12,144
♪♪♪
860
00:45:12,187 --> 00:45:13,623
When I'm getting
into clown makeup,
861
00:45:13,667 --> 00:45:16,452
I never like to start
with a bare base.
862
00:45:16,496 --> 00:45:20,021
I usually like to start painting
over my human foundation
863
00:45:20,065 --> 00:45:22,197
that I've already had on
for the day.
864
00:45:22,241 --> 00:45:24,722
I've always liked a more
lived-in, grungier clown
865
00:45:24,765 --> 00:45:26,636
like they've been
in their makeup for hours.
866
00:45:26,680 --> 00:45:29,683
And so mixing the greasepaint
with a foundation
867
00:45:29,727 --> 00:45:31,206
gives more
of a realistic effect.
868
00:45:31,250 --> 00:45:34,862
And then I do
the arched eyebrows,
869
00:45:34,906 --> 00:45:39,301
which also helps kind
of reel people in a little bit,
870
00:45:39,345 --> 00:45:41,913
because a sign of recognition
that humans do with each other
871
00:45:41,956 --> 00:45:43,784
when they recognize
another human,
872
00:45:43,828 --> 00:45:47,048
they subconsciously raise
their eyebrows.
873
00:45:47,092 --> 00:45:51,444
I do dark, dark makeup around
my eyes, nice and dramatic.
874
00:45:51,487 --> 00:45:55,796
Because clowns should have
big doe eyes to drag you in.
875
00:45:55,840 --> 00:45:59,365
I always glue the rhinestones
to my face because it's fun,
876
00:45:59,408 --> 00:46:02,150
and I like to sparkle
even with my makeup.
877
00:46:02,194 --> 00:46:06,546
I typically go
for big, pink lips.
878
00:46:06,589 --> 00:46:09,549
I over-line mine
so the big kissy clown lips.
879
00:46:09,592 --> 00:46:11,856
And I draw on a big happy smile
880
00:46:11,899 --> 00:46:14,032
because I'm always
a happy clown.
881
00:46:14,075 --> 00:46:16,556
And then I'm ready
for the final step,
882
00:46:16,599 --> 00:46:21,126
my personal favorite,
gluing on my clown nose.
883
00:46:21,169 --> 00:46:23,258
It feels so good getting to
those final steps
884
00:46:23,302 --> 00:46:26,871
from putting my nose on,
I'm putting my wig on.
885
00:46:26,914 --> 00:46:28,960
I am fully in character.
886
00:46:29,003 --> 00:46:33,007
The transformation is complete.
I am Kitzi.
887
00:46:33,051 --> 00:46:35,618
I'm ready to put on a show.
[ gasps ]
888
00:46:35,662 --> 00:46:41,973
♪♪♪
889
00:46:42,016 --> 00:46:45,846
- When I was younger,
I desired humiliation.
890
00:46:45,890 --> 00:46:47,543
- Well, I'm a standup comedian,
891
00:46:47,587 --> 00:46:49,763
so I am very used
to humiliation,
892
00:46:49,807 --> 00:46:53,332
but in
a completely nonsexual way.
893
00:46:53,375 --> 00:46:56,944
- I had a client that liked me
to dress as a Nazi
894
00:46:56,988 --> 00:46:59,817
and yell racial slurs at him.
895
00:46:59,860 --> 00:47:01,906
And that was
a little extreme for me.
896
00:47:01,949 --> 00:47:04,082
- I do know people
who are into humiliation.
897
00:47:04,125 --> 00:47:08,521
They have a lot of, uh, stress
in their life.
898
00:47:08,564 --> 00:47:10,392
They're also
in high-powered positions.
899
00:47:10,436 --> 00:47:14,048
They spend the entire day
telling people what to do.
900
00:47:14,092 --> 00:47:16,703
And so I think they need
that balance.
901
00:47:16,746 --> 00:47:18,357
- I would always say
I hate being humiliated.
902
00:47:18,400 --> 00:47:20,011
I hate people making
fun of me and stuff.
903
00:47:20,054 --> 00:47:21,926
But, like,
when I give her the power
904
00:47:21,969 --> 00:47:23,666
and we make it erotic,
905
00:47:23,710 --> 00:47:26,191
it's a whole new experience
and sensation.
906
00:47:26,234 --> 00:47:27,888
I was really starting
to like it.
907
00:47:27,932 --> 00:47:29,934
- I do not like to be
humiliated, no.
908
00:47:29,977 --> 00:47:32,458
I am the dom. I am the queen.
909
00:47:32,501 --> 00:47:34,895
- I think that there's all
types of people in this world,
910
00:47:34,939 --> 00:47:39,204
and we shouldn't be shy about
the things that get us off.
911
00:47:39,247 --> 00:47:43,730
♪♪♪
912
00:47:43,773 --> 00:47:46,472
- I have no real scripts
written out for today.
913
00:47:46,515 --> 00:47:49,127
I prefer to give myself
a few prompts
914
00:47:49,170 --> 00:47:51,781
and sort of ad-lib it
from there.
915
00:47:51,825 --> 00:47:54,045
We're definitely going to be
doing some footwear shit
916
00:47:54,088 --> 00:47:56,786
because I just got
a new cotton candy pedicure,
917
00:47:56,830 --> 00:47:59,441
and I want everyone
to appreciate it.
918
00:47:59,485 --> 00:48:01,487
Probably a strap-on
worship video
919
00:48:01,530 --> 00:48:04,272
because I really feel like
playing with my dick today.
920
00:48:04,316 --> 00:48:08,537
Probably
a come-through-your-pants one
921
00:48:08,581 --> 00:48:12,454
where I'm going to instruct
my viewers to masturbate to me,
922
00:48:12,498 --> 00:48:14,239
but they're not allowed to take
their cocks out.
923
00:48:14,282 --> 00:48:15,718
They're just gonna have
to rub it through their pants
924
00:48:15,762 --> 00:48:17,503
like a big old clit.
925
00:48:17,546 --> 00:48:19,418
They're gonna have to do that
if they want to get off,
926
00:48:19,461 --> 00:48:21,768
or they can go to bed with
blue balls. That's cool, too.
927
00:48:21,811 --> 00:48:26,816
♪♪♪
928
00:48:26,860 --> 00:48:30,820
After my makeup has set,
it's time for wardrobe.
929
00:48:30,864 --> 00:48:32,126
The night before I film,
930
00:48:32,170 --> 00:48:34,259
I always set out
two or three outfits
931
00:48:34,302 --> 00:48:36,957
with all of the accessories
so I'm not scrambling around
932
00:48:37,001 --> 00:48:40,830
at the last minute
for whatever look I want.
933
00:48:40,874 --> 00:48:42,745
I have my go-tos.
I'm very fond of leotards.
934
00:48:42,789 --> 00:48:46,532
I'm very fond of corsets.
I love ripped up fishnets.
935
00:48:46,575 --> 00:48:48,490
Love them all,
just like my face.
936
00:48:48,534 --> 00:48:52,668
I don't like them to be
perfect. I like a lived-in look.
937
00:48:52,712 --> 00:48:56,498
[ bell tinkles ]
938
00:48:56,542 --> 00:48:59,849
In my teeny, tiny,
little leotard... [ gasps ]
939
00:48:59,893 --> 00:49:05,116
I know that makes your little
circus peanut so hard.
940
00:49:05,159 --> 00:49:11,165
You want to pump it for me?
[ gasps ] No, leave it in there.
941
00:49:11,209 --> 00:49:13,863
A lot of times,
I describe my job as clown porn,
942
00:49:13,907 --> 00:49:15,778
which isn't entirely accurate.
943
00:49:15,822 --> 00:49:20,392
I mostly just say that because
to my viewers, it is porn.
944
00:49:20,435 --> 00:49:22,524
They are jerking off to it.
945
00:49:22,568 --> 00:49:24,831
What it really is
is clown domination.
946
00:49:24,874 --> 00:49:27,790
If you want to get off
to me today,
947
00:49:27,834 --> 00:49:32,230
you have to
rub it through your pants.
948
00:49:32,273 --> 00:49:35,842
I can get off rubbing myself
through my leotard,
949
00:49:35,885 --> 00:49:39,454
so I don't know why
youwould struggle.
950
00:49:39,498 --> 00:49:42,109
Domination,
when you think of it,
951
00:49:42,153 --> 00:49:45,547
you think of
leather, whips, chains.
952
00:49:45,591 --> 00:49:48,246
Rub the balls to your groin.
Get some double action there.
953
00:49:48,289 --> 00:49:52,119
I think it should be more
whimsical and fun and open.
954
00:49:52,163 --> 00:49:54,339
Rub it through your pants
like a little bitch.
955
00:49:54,382 --> 00:49:56,210
I bet you can do it.
956
00:49:56,254 --> 00:49:59,039
It's a circus. You're going to
be able to explore fetishes
957
00:49:59,083 --> 00:50:00,998
you never have before.
958
00:50:01,041 --> 00:50:04,697
Don't you want some
rug burn as a souvenir?
959
00:50:04,740 --> 00:50:08,962
[ gasps ] Of course you do,
because that's what I want.
960
00:50:09,006 --> 00:50:12,574
And to make a man not only be
turned on by a clown,
961
00:50:12,618 --> 00:50:16,100
but to submit to a clown,
gives me like a rush of power
962
00:50:16,143 --> 00:50:18,058
to know
that I can do this to people.
963
00:50:18,102 --> 00:50:20,582
Rub it through your pants.
964
00:50:20,626 --> 00:50:21,931
It's fun to humiliate them.
965
00:50:21,975 --> 00:50:25,196
[ singsongy ] Oh, strudel.
966
00:50:25,239 --> 00:50:30,070
Look what I've got here for you.
967
00:50:30,114 --> 00:50:34,640
[ gasps ]
Some sweet...feet...treats.
968
00:50:34,683 --> 00:50:36,511
[ cackles ]
969
00:50:36,555 --> 00:50:40,298
I've got two different flavors
going today--
970
00:50:40,341 --> 00:50:45,390
Blue Razzmatazz
and Pink Clown Pussy.
971
00:50:45,433 --> 00:50:47,435
When people hear "humiliation,"
972
00:50:47,479 --> 00:50:49,089
they get really uncomfortable
and think that I'm bullying
973
00:50:49,133 --> 00:50:52,353
these poor men
who are just little victims.
974
00:50:52,397 --> 00:50:54,442
But what a lot of people
don't realize
975
00:50:54,486 --> 00:50:57,532
is that these men love this.
976
00:50:57,576 --> 00:51:00,318
This is what they want.
This is what gets them off.
977
00:51:00,361 --> 00:51:06,019
...a dirty little pervert,
and you...start...stroking.
978
00:51:06,063 --> 00:51:09,544
Breathe them in!
[ inhales deeply ]
979
00:51:09,588 --> 00:51:12,199
Humiliation is not something
that men feel comfortable
980
00:51:12,243 --> 00:51:16,595
asking their spouses for
or their sexual partners.
981
00:51:16,638 --> 00:51:20,990
Like they're a freak for asking
to be humiliated or degraded.
982
00:51:21,034 --> 00:51:23,950
It's very freeing for them
to come home and have an outlet
983
00:51:23,993 --> 00:51:26,083
where they can truly be
themselves.
984
00:51:26,126 --> 00:51:31,262
Stroking. [ gasps ] Oh,
you can't get enough of them!
985
00:51:31,305 --> 00:51:33,177
Keep stroking for me, strudel.
986
00:51:33,220 --> 00:51:36,441
And from feedback I've gotten,
a lot of them
987
00:51:36,484 --> 00:51:38,356
have written to tell me,
"Thank you.
988
00:51:38,399 --> 00:51:42,142
I was never able to live out
these fantasies."
989
00:51:42,186 --> 00:51:45,145
And so for them to finally have
this release,
990
00:51:45,189 --> 00:51:47,800
it makes them
feel so much better.
991
00:51:47,843 --> 00:51:50,672
You were such a good boy
coming through your pants.
992
00:51:50,716 --> 00:51:52,370
[ giggles ]
993
00:51:52,413 --> 00:51:56,591
Maybe tomorrow, strudel.
You can try again then. Mwah!
994
00:51:56,635 --> 00:52:00,073
Clown domination allows me
the freedom to live my own life.
995
00:52:00,117 --> 00:52:01,944
I do have two children.
996
00:52:01,988 --> 00:52:05,426
It allows me to stay home
with them and raise them.
997
00:52:05,470 --> 00:52:08,125
I can film for four hours,
go pick up my kids,
998
00:52:08,168 --> 00:52:09,343
go to the beach.
999
00:52:09,387 --> 00:52:11,519
I'm the one running the circus.
1000
00:52:11,563 --> 00:52:14,957
And it's really cool
because this never has to end.
1001
00:52:15,001 --> 00:52:17,656
I don 't ever have
to stop clowning.
1002
00:52:17,699 --> 00:52:20,093
My dad is well into his 60s
and still clowning,
1003
00:52:20,137 --> 00:52:22,965
and I would be
a really hot grandma clown.
1004
00:52:29,102 --> 00:52:32,018
- Sex is a conversation
without words, but with bodies.
1005
00:52:32,061 --> 00:52:35,282
- You can have great sex
and not come.
1006
00:52:35,326 --> 00:52:37,110
I think, if you're present,
1007
00:52:37,154 --> 00:52:39,112
you're really attracted
to somebody,
1008
00:52:39,156 --> 00:52:42,246
you put in the effort,
you're not selfish.
1009
00:52:42,289 --> 00:52:44,161
- Great sex is connection.
1010
00:52:44,204 --> 00:52:45,858
- Good sex is like a great
movie, I think, where it's just
1011
00:52:45,901 --> 00:52:48,295
like, "Goddamn! When's
the next one gonna come out?
1012
00:52:48,339 --> 00:52:50,558
That was great!
Let's do this again."
1013
00:52:50,602 --> 00:52:52,473
- It's the perfect balance of...
1014
00:52:52,517 --> 00:52:58,087
loving and tender,
realistic, not too sweet.
1015
00:52:58,131 --> 00:53:00,046
- There's a lot of people that
are gonna
1016
00:53:00,089 --> 00:53:05,965
just automatically assume that
we are, uh, open to anything,
1017
00:53:06,008 --> 00:53:07,923
and that's not the case.
- We--
1018
00:53:07,967 --> 00:53:09,795
- We have a foundation
of principles
1019
00:53:09,838 --> 00:53:15,235
that we base our relationship
off of and we stay true to that.
1020
00:53:15,279 --> 00:53:19,935
- Great sex
is playful, passionate, fun.
1021
00:53:19,979 --> 00:53:22,068
- Great sex is possible.
1022
00:53:22,111 --> 00:53:25,419
- Great sex is exhausting.
1023
00:53:25,463 --> 00:53:28,814
I want to hibernate for, like,
nine months after great sex.
1024
00:53:28,857 --> 00:53:30,685
- Some advice?
Just don't settle.
1025
00:53:30,729 --> 00:53:32,252
Someone will come along
1026
00:53:32,296 --> 00:53:33,253
and they will knock
your fuckin' block off,
1027
00:53:33,297 --> 00:53:35,690
and wait for that person.
1028
00:53:35,734 --> 00:53:37,388
- Sex is an important part
of love.
1029
00:53:37,431 --> 00:53:39,303
But I don't think sex and love
are the same thing.
1030
00:53:39,346 --> 00:53:41,696
Love is like something where
you don't even have to have sex
1031
00:53:41,740 --> 00:53:43,263
for months at a time, and you
can just be around somebody
1032
00:53:43,307 --> 00:53:44,743
and you're fulfilled.
1033
00:53:44,786 --> 00:53:46,353
Sometimes, yes,
I have sexual needs,
1034
00:53:46,397 --> 00:53:49,487
or I just need to go out
on the town and just fuck.
1035
00:53:49,530 --> 00:53:50,923
- Everyone's always looking
for, you know,
1036
00:53:50,966 --> 00:53:52,664
that mind-altering sex,
1037
00:53:52,707 --> 00:53:54,840
and it's like sex in general
can be really amazing
1038
00:53:54,883 --> 00:53:56,624
and really transformative
1039
00:53:56,668 --> 00:53:58,974
without requiring
that explosion.
1040
00:53:59,018 --> 00:54:01,325
- I think it's all a matter
of turning the page,
1041
00:54:01,368 --> 00:54:02,891
trying different things out,
1042
00:54:02,935 --> 00:54:04,284
the same way I don't find
nothing wrong
1043
00:54:04,328 --> 00:54:05,807
with using a dildo
on my partner.
1044
00:54:05,851 --> 00:54:08,506
I'm confident in myself,
1045
00:54:08,549 --> 00:54:10,725
and I think that's
what it really comes down to.
1046
00:54:10,769 --> 00:54:13,424
- Great sex is a special gift.
1047
00:54:15,426 --> 00:54:18,777
Great sex is...
1048
00:54:18,820 --> 00:54:24,304
an important part
of every human being's life.
1049
00:54:24,348 --> 00:54:25,610
♪♪♪
1050
00:54:25,653 --> 00:54:30,005
♪ Get down on your knees
1051
00:54:30,049 --> 00:54:34,358
♪ And worship me
1052
00:54:34,401 --> 00:54:39,841
♪ Go down in the conversation
1053
00:54:39,885 --> 00:54:44,281
♪♪♪
77266
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.